Not Your Ordinary Love Story
by LondonWitch
A/N: If you'd like to read two (other) great stories, try 'A Night At The Movies', and 'Sleeping Beauties and Sewing Machines'. They're both quite good, and the second story is Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny. What could be better? Anyway, Thanks for taking your time to read this and sticking by me. I truly appreciate it.
Chapter Six: Plan Number...Oh, Who Cares?
Monday, September 23rd
Draco Malfoy glared at Harry Potter, wanting nothing other than for the boy's scarred head to catch fire. He wanted Harry out of the picture, and wanted Ginny all to himself. Not that she would take a second glance at him now...but she would eventually, oh, she would.
"Boys, I've been thinking," Draco started, putting down his half-eaten bagel and turning to his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle. Both were eating hungrily, as though they had been deprived of food for weeks. At the moment, Crabbe was swallowing large forkfuls of scrambled egg and Goyle was shoving spoonfuls of porridge into his mouth.
"That's good, boss, seeing as we don't," Crabbe grunted, while managing to gulp down an entire jug of pumpkin juice at the same time, without one breath at all. This was another mystery to the student body – coupled with the sleeping-while-standing-up thing, Crabbe belonged in a muggle circus.
Draco frowned even deeper than his usual plastered-on frown-smirk look, and gave Crabbe and Goyle both the evil eye. "Whatever, idiots. Now, I need your help..."
Goyle cut him off this time, talking around the food in his mouth, "Help? Mental help? Or physical help? Cause if you don't mind me saying, boss, you're looking a bit pudgier than usual...maybe Overeaters Anonymous is the way to go?" Goyle had always been a bit smarter than Crabbe, but not by much. At least he managed to hold the handle of his wand, unlike Crabbe, who held it by the tip instead.
Malfoy had had enough. He stood up, pulled the piece of toast from Goyle's hand and remarked nastily, "You're the one who needs weight help," and stormed out of the Great Hall. Goyle just stared after him, and Crabbe was still concentrating on his meal.
"Wait!" Goyle cried, so that the entire Hall was staring at him, "Don't leave me! Think of everything we've shared!" This was so melodramatic and unexpected that everyone at the Gryffindor table promptly cracked up.
"Uh, Goyle?" Crabbe said, finally taking his beady eyes off of his plate and fixing them on Goyle, "One, you're not on a soap opera (A/N: Dawn, Cascade, or Dove?! Okay, that was really corny.). And...err...what's the next number? Yeah, anyway – you're not a girl."
Goyle looked at him curiously, "I'm not? I thought I was a goy-il," He pronounced this in a New York accent, and then realized that this was probably wrong, "Oh, yeah – er, right." Embarrassed by the earlier outburst and now turning bright red, he too left the Hall.
A short while later, still Monday, September 23rd...
After his little temper tantrum, Draco had gone off to the Owlery to ponder his plan. There were too many plans and bets going on right now, he thought as he stepped over the mess of feathers and droppings. The Gryffindors apparently had one to get Weasel and the Mudblood together, and the Slytherins actually had one for the exact same reason. Draco had bet three sickles that they'd get together in four weeks and then break up five days later, but that was just him.
"What I need now," Draco thought aloud, "Is revenge. Maybe if she sees me with another girl, and I treat this other girl great, then she'll think I'm great. She likes roses and sappy stuff, right? Right. So now all I need is a willing participant..." he stopped talking and looked around, hearing footsteps.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" A melodic voice from outside of the Owlery called, and it seemed to get a bit louder as the person approached. Draco stepped outside and glared down the tiny corridor. It was Cho Chang, who was looking prettier than ever at the age of seventeen and clutching a rolled-up piece of parchment.
"Ugh. Chang, you - " Draco started, ready to say something vile, but then he had an idea. "Hey, Chang, answer me this: do you still like Potter?" He rolled his eyes while he said 'Potter', obviously still upset over the fact that he was dating Ginny. His Ginny.
Cho chewed her lip, visibly debating with herself, and finally said, "What's it to you, Malfoy?" as she turned a light shade of pink at the thought of her and Harry together again. She'd mentally forgiven him during the summer, and wanted to get back together with him desperately.
"Oh, just the fact that I know a splendid little way to get him back for you. It'll work out fine for both of us, actually," he said, kicking a crumpled piece of parchment on the corridor floor. Cho walked into the Owlery, coaxed down a tawny barn owl, and then turned to face Draco, who'd followed her.
"How's that? Harry's going out with Ginny Weasley – everyone saw it at breakfast. And what's in it for you?" Cho said, turning back to the owl and tying onto its leg the letter she had been carrying.
"What's in it for me? Ginny, that's what. I get her and you get your precious Potter. All you have to do is pretend to be my girlfriend. We'll be so happy together that Potter is bound to want you back – and Ginny will know how sensitive I can truly be."
To Cho, Draco had apparently thought this through. In actuality, he was making it up on the spot. But Cho thought it was a grand idea, and said, "Okay. Fine. Deal. But no kissing, got it? Maybe a hug if you're lucky." She walked away from the owl and it took off through the glass-less window.
"Deal," Draco said, echoing Cho. He stuck his hand out, Cho took it, and they shook heartily. "Well, I'm off to Charms, sweetums," Cho said sarcastically with a huge, bright, fake smile. She walked off down the corridor and waved a hand lazily behind her in parting.
Draco stared down the hall after her, calling lightly, "Okay, snookums! I'll – I'll see you at lunch, than!" He looked around and then groaned for having to say that out loud – and to anyone but Ginny.
I've got it made, I guess, he thought to himself as he walked back to the Great Hall. I've got an okay-looking fake girlfriend, and I'm on my way to getting Ginny.
A/N: "Hi! I'm your helpful narrator and I just wanted to fill you in on what this story is about. So far, we've got several plans in action. Number One is a bet by the Gryffindors to get Ron and Hermione together. Number Two is a spoof off of that bet, with Dean and Parvati and Lavender trying to get them together sooner with some candies. Those'll come in next chapter.
"Number Three is Harry and Ginny's plan. They're going to convince everyone that they're dating. This is because of Hermione's very small plan during the Truth or Dare game, which was actually Plan Number Four.
"And then there's Plan Number Five, which involves Draco and Cho. They're also pretending that they're dating, to win over Ginny and Harry. And lastly, Plan Number Six will be coming up in the next chapter. That's a Neville and Luna plan, courtesy of Harry and Ginny.
"So there you are! Thanks for reading!"
Sorry that that was a bit odd, just trying to help those that have really bad memories. Next chapter is coming up straightaway...Oh, hey, let me know in a review which part made you laugh...I like to make people laugh. :-)