Ballad of Anguish

A Detective Conan fanfic by Sailor Gotland

Author's notes: I have read 28 volumes of the Conan manga, and seen about 170 episodes, so I only know that much about Conan. Please keep that in mind when reading, okay? ;; Another thing... I'm from Sweden, so my English spelling and grammar suck bigtime... T.T

How come my fics always grow on me? Xx;;

Warnings: Hinting at non-consensual shota-con, a bit of foul language, and death. If you can stomach that, please enjoy!

Ballad of Anguish

2. Lonely Hearts...

The clock on the wall showed 02:15 AM. The sound of it's ticking echoed in Ran's ears like a foreboding of doom. She sat in her father's office, unable to sleep, all though tired to the bone. Her eyes burned, tears had puffed the area around them, but now no more fell. Her nose felt thick and her throat sore. She had been crying so much, but what good did it do? The lump of hopelessness in her stomach hadn't melted away, her hands hadn't stopped trembling and her arms were still empty.

He hadn't come back. They had searched for him, they still searched for him, but they hadn't found him. Conan was missing. Fukiko was dead, her ravaged body had been found and an investigation had started. But the police hadn't found any trace of Conan. They were still investigating the area where the star's body had been found, but so far, Ran hadn't heard anything. She only knew that an old friend had been murdered, her new little friend, whom she regarded as her little brother, was missing, and there was still a ruthless murder on the loose.

"Shinichi", she whispered, her voice hoarse. "Shinichi, you know where he is, right? You'll help Conan, right? Can you hear me, Shinichi? Why don't you answer? Oh please... Where are you...?"

Her voice broke, the tears came anew.

In the doorframe behind her, her father stood. He had an unusually solemn expression on his face, and his eyes were dark with worry.

"Kudo is missing?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

Professor Agasa looked perfectly devastated. He sat at his table, head in his hands, his shoulders slumped down in defeat. Miyano Shio, or Haibara Ai as she called herself, shook her head in confusion.

"I never thought he'd be so stupid... He'll never learn, will he? He's not superman. He isn't invulnerable and he isn't immortal. Too bad he has to get himself into trouble before he realizes that."

As the young woman with the body of a child talked, she struggled to get her heavy laptop up from a backpack she had left standing on the floor next to the professor's counter. Her small hands had trouble grasping the computer, but she quickly thrust her leg forward, using her lap as support. Still, it was pretty heavy.

Professor Agasa finally noticed her plight, and got to his feet. He took the laptop from her hands and placed it on the nearest desk.

"What are you trying to do", he asked Ai curiously.

"I have no time to explain", she said shortly, but added the second later, her voice softer:

"But thank you."

His world spun around, his head hurt more than he cared to think about, and he felt more than slightly nauseous. He guessed he had a slight concussion, not that it mattered... He still was alive after all.

Conan groaned, trying to recollect what had happened to him. His eyes felt heavy, as if something was preventing him from moving his eyelids. That idol, Ran's childhood friend... He hadn't been able to save her, right? She was dead; he had found her in the darkness. And then what? He remembered hearing a sound. A sound of what...? His head hurt. Had someone attacked him? It seemed like it. He had seen too much, again. So what had stopped the criminal from killing him this time? 'I won't be surprised if they shrunk me to a toddler this time', he thought darkly.

"The little boy is moving... Is the little boy awake...?"

The voice was deep, without authority and with a slight slur to it. Conan instantaneously disliked it. Forcing his eyes open, he could barely make out a dark figure a few meters away from him. The man, because he guessed it was a man, given the figure's height and build, stood leaning against something the teenager-turned-child couldn't make out for the life of him. A car perhaps...? The smell of oil and gas lay heavy in the air, and the floor underneath Conan was cold, like concrete. They could be in a garage, but then again, they didn't have to be. He definitely disliked the situation.

"Sweet little boy, are you afraid? Am I scaring you? Don't be afraid..."

Okay, this was starting to creep Conan out a little too much. The man sounded almost... if he didn't know better, he'd say aroused, but that was just too... But what if it was true? Hadn't Fukiko been raped before she was murdered? But that didn't automatically mean that the guy was about to rape anything that moved, and Conan had the body of a very small child. And a boy at that. Still, Conan wasn't naïve, he wasn't about to dismiss the thought just because he was a boy. Either way, he was in big trouble, as he was kidnapped by a lunatic who had murdered at least once, and was pretty likely to do it again if provoked.

Trying to move, Conan finally realized that he was tied up, his hands behind his back, clogged together with tape that did it's best to cut the circulation to his fingers. As he tried his best to move around without upsetting his aching head too much, he finally managed to get a better glimpse of the man that held him captive.

From what Conan could make out, the man was in his mid-thirties, he had wild, bleached hair that seemed fairly thin and wispy. He was dressed in some sort of jacket with a shirt underneath, and a pair of tight fitting pants. He wasn't thin, but he wasn't overweight either. From the look of things, Conan's best bet was that the man was a regular in some unnamed gym somewhere. To make matters worse, Conan noticed something in the man's left hand: A long, thick steel-pipe.

It couldn't have been the weapon used to knock him unconscious, Conan figured, since a blow from that pipe would more likely crush his skull and kill him on the spot.

"She had it coming, you know", the man suddenly growled. "She had it coming, that filthy bitch... You don't know where I'm coming from, do you, kid? You don't know why I had to take care of her. You think I'm a criminal, don't you? You think I've done something bad, ridding the world of her. You think I'm to blame..."

He walked closer to Conan, with each word his voice grew louder and more menacing. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this man wasn't all there so to speak, and Conan, well... he was a genius, and he felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. This man was a real psychopath, he was extremely dangerous and unpredictable, and Conan was alone with him.

His thoughts were cut short as the man suddenly stopped, grabbing the boy by his collar and pulling him up in the air.

"I'm not to blame", he screamed in Conan's face. "I am fucking not to blame! It's all her fault, don't you understand that? She's the bad one! She's the bad one!"

The man's grip around Conan's collar intensified, forcing the young boy to move his head so that he'd end up in a position where he could breathe more freely. The dizziness that lurked in the back of his head thrust forward with full force, and he found it extremely hard to focus his eyes. With a twinge of desperation he also felt the nausea stir in his far to empty stomach, forcing him to whisper between clenched teeth:

"Please, let me down... I feel sick, so please, let me down..."

Somehow his words seemed to reach the man, as he released the grip around Conan's collar and dropped the boy painfully on the ground. Conan couldn't keep from making a complaining sound of pain and humiliation, but soon enough got other things to worry about besides his aching behind. His stomach took a turn for the worse, and he tried to scramble away as quick as he could, not wanting to vomit all over the man's shoes.

This was so... undignified.

As Conan was pretty occupied throwing up, he didn't notice the man slowly removing his pants...

The Top Idol Utako was found murdered yesterday, and the entire music world is in shock!

The anchor on the morning-news read the news with a matter-of-fact voice, staring right into the camera, her perfectly manicured hands holding her manuscript just a little too tight.

Not a word, Ran thought with bewilderment. Not one word about a small child reported missing, a child who had last been seen around the area where Utako was murdered. What a funny world...

Ran dropped her spoon, surprised she had even thought about eating breakfast in the first place. She wasn't hungry. How could she be? She stared down at the bowl of cereal, feeling a bit sick to her stomach. Soggy cereal really looked disgusting. No, she definitely wasn't hungry anymore.

As she put the plate away and began wiping the table with a moist cloth, her father entered the kitchen. He looked haggard, he hadn't slept at all, he had puffy bags underneath his eyes, the lines in his face seemed to have intensified, and he hadn't shaved since yesterday morning. His clothes were untidy and he smelled of smoke and other stuff Ran really didn't want to think about.

"Any word about him", Ran reluctantly asked, she already knew the answer by the look on Kogoro's face. And of course she was right, he proved it to her by shaking his head.

"Nothing", he said, his already raucous voice almost inaudible. He looked so tired. "It's like that damned kid got swallowed up by the ground... I've always said it, right, pumpkin? He always sticks his nose where it doesn't belong. It's dangerous for a kid his age to deal with all kinds of filthy criminals. But did he listen? Hell no."

"Would you like some coffee or something, dad", Ran asked, trying her best not to look straight at her father. He looked so distraught, she felt she could start crying again just looking at him.

"Coffee? That would be nice, pumpkin", Kogoro sighed, looking out over Tokyo. "Ran... How are you feeling about all this?"

She almost dropped the can of coffee she held as she scoped coffee-powder into the brewer. Her father wasn't the most observant of people, and often one would just dismiss him as a lazy good-for-nothing drunk and slacker; but he was Mori Kogoro, the nationwide acknowledged detective who solved all his cases in his sleep, his brain was sharp enough once he bothered to use it. One shouldn't underestimate him, and she felt awful that she – his own daughter – had done just that.

"I don't really know", she answered after a short pause. "I mean, I know what I'm supposed to feel. I'm supposed to feel sad that Utako is dead, I'm supposed to be out of my mind, worrying myself crazy over Conan, and I know I'm supposed to feel really lonely, since Shinichi isn't here and can support me right now. I know that's what I'm supposed to feel. But what I do feel... I don't know. I can't feel it, dad... I can't feel my thoughts. I just got up, I made breakfast, but I didn't want breakfast, but I made it anyway, and then I didn't eat it, because you know, dad, it looks really gross, and then..."

"Ran!"

Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her and a hand pushed her head close to her father's chest. She could smell him, could hear his heart beat through the shirt. The shirt was strangely wet by the way. Why was it...? She found it hard to breathe. She heard someone sobbing in the distance. Or was it in the distance? Wasn't it close...? Who was crying? Was her father crying?

"There there, Ran..." she heard him whisper. "It's all right. I will find him, I promise. We can't give up yet, Ran. So please, don't cry... There now..."

She shouldn't cry? Was she the one crying? Why was she crying...? Conan. Conan was missing, probably kidnapped by a madman who could kill him any second. Conan was... Conan... She couldn't take it anymore. She clung to her father like the lifeline he represented, clutched his arms so hard it would probably leave bruises, and she cried.

"Conan... Conan! CONAN!!"

The tall man with the long auburn hair wiped his hands and put his hat on. One quick glimpse in the mirror – he looked menacing enough – and then he stepped out of the public bathroom. He walked over to the nearby restaurant and waited for the waiter to place him at a table. He asked for one with view, and he got one. He sat down, looking over the menu. The food here was superb. Spanish and Italian, with a little Mexican thrown in for the adventurous.

Gin chose between a delicious paella and pasta prima vera – he didn't feel adventurous – and finally settled for the pasta. To that he ordered a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

As the waiter arrived with the glasses and the bottle, a young blonde woman entered the restaurant. She was tall, beautiful and her western features made her stand out among the guests. People started whispering to each other. Things like 'hey isn't that Chris Vineyard', and 'isn't that that famous actress from the U.S?' She gracefully ignored the comments about her as she sensually crossed the room on her way to Gin.

"I see you've all ready ordered", she observed as she sat down.

"You still have to order your food yourself", he replied dryly.

She made a cute little face, then looked down on the menu, her eyes carefully scanning the pages for something in her liking.

"They have Chicken Tacos here", she happily exclaimed and waved for the waiter.

"Taco and champagne? To each their own I guess..." Gin looked a bit apprehensive, but didn't care to press the matter further.

When they had enjoyed their meal for about ten minutes, Gin put his knife and fork away, eying Vineyard.

"I take it you wanted to see me for a particular reason? This isn't just a nice little get-together over a glass of champagne, is it?"

After wiping her mouth, Vineyard placed her elbows on the table, crossed her fingers as a bridge and placed her beautiful chin on the bridge, as she smiled smugly.

"You know I teach English in the class Kudo belonged to before, right?"

Gin nodded, of course he knew. Did she really think he was that stupid?

"Your point?"

"Do you know that I have my eyes on a little kid, related to Mori-kun in the class? His name is Edogawa Conan, six years old. From what I can tell, he's extremely bright, always manages to show up wherever Mori Kogoro solves a case, and, get this... He bares an uncanny resemblance with Kudo. What do you think about that?"

Gin's mind reeled. This was... And that bitch Vineyard...

"Why the hell haven't you told anyone about this sooner?! Don't you understand that this is information the guys higher up would have you eliminated for if they knew you were keeping this from them?"

"Please, give me more credit than that, Gin. Of course I understand that. What makes you think I'm keeping this from them? I have direct orders from higher up that I'm to investigate this child, report to them if there is no doubt in my mind that he actually is Kudo, and then proceed with the plan."

"What plan?!"

"I am not to tell you." She smiled at him, twirling a strand of her long, blonde hair between her fingers. "Sorry about that."

Trying his best to compose his anger, Gin took a quick sip of his champagne, hoping the cool, crisp liquid would calm him down somewhat.

"Then I'll ask you again. Why the get-together? As this clearly isn't one of my business."

"It was none of your business", she corrected him. "Now, it is. Why you ask? Because as I was about to do something more drastic with the kid, he disappears. My sources tell me he probably was kidnapped by the same lowlife that murdered that idol girl yesterday. Your duty, my dear Gin, is to help me find that piece of trash, preferably before he manages to kill the boy. We want him alive."

"We do?"

"Yes we do. Because with him alive, we can easily lure our dear Sherry into a trap. I am pretty certain they're connected you see. And you do want to see Sherry again, don't you?"

"Of course", Gin sighed. "I understand."

"And...?"

"I'll help."

TO BE CONTINUED...