A/N because we all need a little more Kohaku in our diets, here he is ladies and gents! Naraku's stooge! By the by, on Super Ceech's account there is a story co-authored by me, Calum and Ceech. It's called Love is blind. It's a look at what we feel to be some odder pairings, but we take it perhaps a bit too far. If you like senseless weird funny stuff, check it out. It is similar, sorta, to my

Shenanigans of Inuyasha Gang story, so if you read and liked it, please check out Love is Blind. I have to say, I think it's way funnier.

PRETTY BOYS MAKE ME NERVOUS

Kohaku walked into the bar and looked around nervously. If Naraku heard that he'd been in a karaoke bar, he'd never live it down. If his freaky, raven haired master learned this fact, Kohaku shuddered to think of the consequences.

"Kohaku!" called a manly voice. "Over here!"

Fearing the worst, Kohaku turned his head sharply.

He closed his eyes and whimpered. His worst fears being confirmed. What was Naraku doing in a karaoke bar? Why was Kanna dressed like a cheap whore? And why were two muscle-bound lumber jacks posing and showing off their muscles for Naraku?

These were questions, who's answers terrified Kohaku more then he thought was possible.

"Kohaku!" repeated Naraku, waving. "Come sit down with us!"

Kohaku stared at him and shook his head.

Kohaku marched over to the other side of a room and sat down, laying his face in his hands. He wonder what on earth could have possessed him to think he'd be safe from Naraku anywhere?

As he sat there, wishing he hadn't come at all, he heard someone's shoes click across the floor towards him. Kohaku looked up wincing. Naraku planted his hands on his hips. He seemed bout to pout, which made Kohaku's insides quiver, and not in a good way either.

"Why don't you want to sit with us?" Naraku demanded him.

"Because!" Kohaku bellowed. "Because you make me nervous that's why!"

"Hey!" Scary Ned bellowed, marching towards them. "Don't say with words what you can say in a song! This is a karaoke bar! Not a chat room session!"

Kohaku stared at Naraku and nodded.

"I know just the song!" he snapped, marching up to the stage. He struck a dramatic pose and grabbed the mike.

"This is for a very special someone in the crowd!" he said. "This is dedicated to my boss! Naraku!"

The audience applauded. Naraku preened slightly.

Kohaku began to belt out, melodically, but forcefully (he's quite a talented lad!)

Oh ya...
Come on...
Oh ya...
Come on...

If I were a dentist I would take the opportunity to look in your mouth
Maybe if I did then I would better understand what the manly voice is about
And if my x-ray picture gave the proper information I'd be back at the start
'Cause every time I try and figure out you my world keeps falling apart.

Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
When they're as pretty as you

And if I was a surgeon I would do an operation to examine your sex
I'd check to see if your chromosomes really are a Y and an X
And if my diagnosis turned out positive I'd still be creeped out by you.
'Cause something like you is something nature really shouldn't do!

Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
When they're as pretty as you

And when he smiles he looks so sneaky
And when he gets near it's so freaky
And in my award-winning dream I perform like I was on a movie screen
As I casually pop the question

Will your true gender ever be revealed to me?
Naraku ... 'I don't think so'

If I were a lawyer I would argue that, that just ain't right
And if I were a teacher I would rewrite history so you weren't such a fright
And if I were an architect then I'd be busy drawing up the perfect plan
To find out if Naraku is a woman or a man!

Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
When they're as pretty as you

Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Oh ya...
Pretty boys make me nervous
Come on...
When they're as pretty as you

Kohaku jumped off the stage and gave Naraku a defiant look. Daring him to kill him where he stood. It would almost be better then being his salve for life.

Naraku stared at him hard for a really long time as if trying to put words in the proper order.

Finally he said, "You really think I'm pretty?"