Jax turned off his cell phone and threw it onto the floor. He shut his hotel room door and walked blindly into the elevator as the doors opened. He pushed the button and stared out the majestic open window overlooking the city. He was so angry and disgusted with himself that he didn't want to think, didn't want to remember any of the past six months. What the hell was wrong with him that he would be so blind, so naive, to fall for a triangle relationship like that again. He had left Brenda, the woman he believed with his heart and soul that he would love for the rest of his life, because she couldn't let go of her ex. He saw the same exact thing happening with Courtney but he had gone along with it anyway, when he should have known! It had been staring at him in the face, threatening to hit him full force for months and yet... he had still stood there, taken it like a man, hoping against hope that he wasn't wrong about her.

She's just like Brenda, he thought savagely to himself, bitterness pouring through him like acid. He felt a slight tugging at his heart but he refused to acknowledge it. She's not, his heart whispered. "Yes, she damn well is! She can't let go of her ex and she never showed any inclination to do so!" he said fiercely to himself. No, she's different. You saw progress. That day in the park when she came to meet you- she said it herself. She said "I realized that it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I was out of it. So I got on the elevator and I walked to the park and, you know, for the first time, I wasn't annoyed to see you and I wasn't irritated by your arrogant presumption." That's exactly what she said and that's when you fell for her. Because you saw a strong woman who wasn't going to fall back into bad habits. You saw a woman who had made a painful decision but was going to stick with it because she knew what was best for her. You fell in love with her strength, his heart argued.

"No, I saw what I wanted to see- she was never really like that. I thought she was, but she wasn't," he counteracted bitterly. The elevator door opened and he walked out of it, directly to the bar.

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Courtney finally stopped running when she reached her car. She began rummaging through her purse, searching clumsily for her car keys and when she couldn't find them, she began throwing any object that encountered her hand onto the hood of the car. "Damn it!" she swore angrily and slumped back against the car door.

She didn't know why she did this to herself. She didn't know why she always felt the constant need to protect the people she loved when they never even thanked her for her effort. She had spent the past few years of her life defending all those that she cared about- from AJ to Sonny to Jason. Did they ever appreciate it? Was there once that she believed they even felt any sort of pride that she would do anything in her power to protect them? For God's sake, she stripped to save AJ and he returned the favor by stalking her! She constantly tried to do right by Sonny and he disowned her! She did everything in her power to defend Jason and the only thing he ever did was send her home! And lie to you about being the father of Sam's baby, she reminded herself painfully. God, it had hurt so much. Losing her baby had been heartbreaking but losing Jason to another woman who was willing and able to give him a child had made it even worse. She felt inadequate- like she wasn't good enough.

I hate that feeling, she said miserably to herself, her eyes blurring as she felt hot tears well up. The only man who had ever shown any sort of appreciation for her defense of him was... Jax. Her heart squeezed in pain when she remembered the way his gorgeous blue eyes had lit up when she had gone on her tirade against Mac over his release. The sweet memory of that lifted her heart a little but then it immediately went away because it was overcome with another memory- those same gorgeous blue eyes that had lit up at her protectiveness had been dark and filled with sadness earlier on the docks.

"My pilot and I will leave at 8:00, and I hope that you can make it. It's up to you." Jax's voice had been laced with regret as he spoke those words to her, as if he couldn't believe he was saying them at all.

"Courtney, all you have to do is just run your foundation and live your life. That's what you wanted. That's all I want for you." Jason had said those words to her firmly in the interrogation room. He didn't need her there. He had never needed her there.

She glanced at her watch and saw that it was already 8:10 p.m. Maybe if she called now, she could still reach Jax. He wouldn't leave her- he was always there when she needed him. She searched for her phone and finally located it when she heard it ringing. "Hello?" she said hopefully, wishing it was Jax on the other end of the line. Her heart dropped when it wasn't Jax.

It was Carly and she wanted to know if Courtney would go to Morgan's birthday party tomorrow. She really would go but she knew that she had promised Jax first- and right now, she really wanted to be with him, to hear him talk in his sexy accent, for him to make her feel better about herself. She tried to decline but the sadness in Carly's voice stopped her. Her best friend was obviously distressed about the conflict between her father and her husband. She was also extremely upset about Jason's detainment in relation to the shooting. She glanced at her watch again. Jax had to be gone by now. She struck a deal with Carly- she would stay for the birthday party if she could use Sonny's plane to leave for Bermuda tomorrow. Carly was wary but when Courtney refused to answer her questions, she willingly agreed. She called Jax but only got his voice mail. She left a message, promising to meet him tomorrow. She hoped he wasn't too frustrated with her.