Scene 5
The next day at the high school. Drake is at his locker taking out his books. He is wearing a denim shirt with buttons. Ashley walks up to him.
Ashley: Hi Drake!
Drake: (Turns to look at her) Hey, Ashley! How 'bout those brownies, huh?
Ashley: They were great. It was really nice of Josh to reheat another batch.
Drake: (Chuckles) Well, that's Josh for you. He's the most diligent worker at our house.
Ashley: So I've heard. What about you?
Drake: Me? Well, the truth is, I don't like working at all. You know sometimes I even wish my sister would grow up faster so she could help me with my chores. (Laughs)
Ashley: Really… (Looks shocked, and then smiles) That's interesting.
Scene 6
Still at the high school. Ashley is walking down the hall and Josh catches up with her.
Josh: Hey Ashley, do you maybe want to go to my house and play video games?
Ashley: That sounds like fun. Is Drake going to be there?
Josh: Uh… No. (Furrows his eyebrows) He's got band practice.
Ashley: (Looks disappointed) Oh. Well, you know Josh, I just remembered, my mom kinda wanted me to go home early today.
Josh: (Looking suspicious) Did she.
Ashley: Yeah, sorry, but I have to go. (Walks away)
Josh stares after her, his face slowly forming an expression of anger.
Scene 7
Inside Drake and Josh's room. Josh is sitting on his bed, reading a magazine. Drake opens the door and walks in, a guitar slung over his shoulder.
Josh: (Turning to Drake) Where did you come from?
Drake: (Raising an eyebrow) Shouldn't you be asking Mom and Dad that question?
Josh: (Stands up angrily) Tell me where you've been, Drake! Out on a date, weren't you?
Drake: No. I was practicing with the band. I told you earlier.
Josh: Really. Then why did Ashley bail out me the moment she found out you weren't gonna be home? What have you been telling her?
Drake: What? Nothing. We barely even talked.
Josh: (Steps nearer Drake and points his finger at him accusingly) But you did talk to her! What did you say?
Drake: (Shrugs) I don't know. Nothing important. You know me.
Josh: Yeah, I know you alright. I know that every time you talk to a girl you end up going out on a date with her! (Slumps down on his bed) Nevermind. It's not your fault you're every girl's dream come true. I don't blame Ashley for liking you more. I really should've known better than to get my hopes up about a girl who knows you too.
Drake: (Looking at Josh) Are you done pitying yourself now?
Josh: (Annoyed) There's no need to gloat, Drake. Ashley likes you. We all know it, stop rubbing it in our faces.
Drake: Okay, first of all, who's this 'we' you're referring to? And second of all, you shouldn't give up so easily. Just because I'm more attractive, I can sing and play the guitar, I'm charming, I have great hair and—
Josh: (Interrupts) Yeah?
Drake: (Confused) I forgot where I was going with that.
Josh: (Sighs heavily) Let's just face it. I'm just not popular with girls. And I never will be.
Drake: (Nodding) True.
Josh glares at him.
Drake: But that doesn't mean you'll never get a date. You know what, (pats Josh on the back) just be yourself. That's what I do. (He walks to the corner of the room to put away his guitar)
Josh: (Looking at Drake, but his voice is soft as he's only talking to himself) I was myself when I met Ashley. And she still liked you more. (Looks up slowly as if deep in thought) Well, if Drake is who the girls want, Drake is who they'll get.
Scene 8
At the high school on the next day. Josh is walking down the hall. His hair is almost straight and parted on the side like Drake's. He's wearing a denim shirt like the one Drake was wearing the day before, and has a guitar slung over his shoulder. The people look at him as he passes and he greets them.
Josh: Hey, sugar! (Winks at a girl passing) What's up, ladies? (Waves at a group of girls by their lockers)
Josh's friend Paula (from the first scene) walks up to him.
Paula: Josh, is that you?
Josh: Hey, Paula. How are you?
Paula: I'm okay. What did you do to your hair?
Josh: Oh, nothing. I just fixed it a little, you know, for all you ladies to admire. Do you like it?
Paula: It looks a lot like Drake's hair.
Josh: I know. Because I'm just as cool as Drake is.
Paula: (Looks puzzled but just shrugs) Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to go see the movie Mr. Coulson assigned us to watch for class. The one about social issues?
Josh: Well, I'll have to check my schedule, because you know me, I'm always out on dates.
Ashley walks by.
Josh: Hey Ashley! (She turns around and waves at him) You have Mr. Coulson for Social Studies too, right?
Ashley: Yeah, why? (She walks to where they are)
Josh: Do you want to go watch the movie he's assigned us to see with us tonight?
Paula: Actually Josh, I was hoping you'd help me—
Josh: (Interrupts) It'll be a double date.
Ashley: (Looks interested) Is Drake coming too?
Josh: Nope. You both get to date me!
Both girls look at him disgustedly.
Paula: I can't believe that's your definition of a double date.
Several girls in the hall start to watch them. Rachel and Sandra (from the first scene) are included.
Ashley: I can't believe you'd think we'd both agree to date you at the same time!
Rachel: (Joining in the conversation) I'll bet you're even the one who told Drake to try and do that to us last time!
Sandra: Yeah, after you stood us up to do your chores!
All the girls are now glaring at Josh. They start backing him against the wall.
Paula: I can't believe I ever thought you were helpful!
Ashley: Neither do I! You're nothing but a… But a… Dork!
Rachel and Sandra: Yeah!
Girl from crowd: Josh is a dork!
Everyone shouts out their agreement. The crowd becomes very noisy. Drake walks by and notices the chaos.
Drake: (Loudly) Hey, ladies! Ladies!
They all look at him.
Drake: What's going on?
Everybody talks all at once. Josh fends his way through the crowd and reaches Drake.
Josh: (Exasperatedly) You have to help me, Drake! They're out to get me!
Drake: (Still loudly) Wait, wait, calm down. (Waves his hands) Everyone! Everyone!
They fall silent.
Drake: (Looks at Josh) Josh, why don't you just apologize for whatever you did that upset them? I'm sure they'll understand.
Josh: But I didn't—(Pauses and sighs in defeat. He turns to the girls) I'm sorry. I was only trying to be—
Girl from crowd: (Interrupts) Drake made Josh apologize!
Sighs and "awwww"s were heard all around. The girls move Josh out of the way and start surrounding Drake.
Ashley: You're so noble.
Sandra: And so much nicer than your brother. (Gives Josh a dirty look)
They all start giving him compliments as Josh is pushed to the side. Drake triumphantly attends to his clamoring public.
Scene 9
In the Parker-Nichols home. Audrey is sitting at the couch, sorting out mail. Drake and Josh walk in.
Drake's Mom Audrey: (Looking up at them) So boys, how was school?
Josh: (Looks at Drake angrily) Yeah, Drake, how was school?
Drake: (Smiling) Great. I got dates scheduled 'til next month.
Audrey: That's great. What about you Josh?
Josh: (Bitterly) Me? I got nothing. No good looks, no band, no dates, no nothing.
Audrey: Well, there is something in the mail for you. (Hands him an envelope)
Josh: (Takes the envelope nonchalantly and opens it) It's probably from Grammie.
Drake: What's it say? (Looks over Josh's shoulder)
Josh: Wait, it's not from Grammie! It's a letter from The Post! (His face breaks into a smile)
Drake: (Confused) Office? Aren't all letters from— (He leans closer)
Josh: No! The Post newsletter! They liked the essay! They're running it on next week's issue!
Drake: Essay? What essay?
Josh: The one I wrote for Mr. Coulson's class on Social Issues. He told me he might send it but he never said he actually did. And look! (Points at the letter) I get $150 for it! $150!
Audrey: That's wonderful!
Drake: Yeah Josh, congratulations! (Hits Josh lightly on the back)
Audrey: This calls for a celebration! (Stands up and heads towards the kitchen) Let me see if I can still catch Walter at the office. Maybe he can pass by the bake shop for a cake on his way home.
Drake: (As soon as Audrey's out of earshot) So Josh, about Ashley… I want you to know—
Josh: (Interrupts) You know Drake, it doesn't matter. I don't really think I want to be as popular as you anymore. So, take her out. Give her a good time. She seems to really like you.
Drake: You really don't mind?
Josh: (Shakes his head) Nope. Anyway, if I was always going out on dates, where would I find time to write these essays?
END
8.31.2004 01:20
Author's Note: Hey, thanks for reading! I really hope you liked it. Please don't forget to leave a review! And if you can, please help me. I'm having a problem with the last line (the one that Josh says, "Anyway, if I was always…"). It doesn't seem so funny, but I don't know what to change it with. I'm open to any suggestions. Thank you very much!
By the way, if you're a Harry Potter fan, please read my other fics as well. Thanks!