Chapter Four:
Sara held the pet shop door open to let Catherine in, before walking up to the counter with what she hoped was her most sexy swagger, if she had to use her feminie wiles to get Grissom a new damn spider then so be it.
And anyway it couldn't be that hard could it, after all she had seen Catherine do it a thousand times before.
Unfortunately she failed to remember that she was still wearing Catherine's heels, and she ended up looking more like a really bad drag queen than the stunningly sexy woman she was sure she was.
Turning to glare at the sniggering woman behind her, she hurriedly wobbled the rest of the way to the counter.
"I need a spider." She tersely told the young shop assistant, all thoughts of charming a pet out of him completely gone.
"Certainly Madam." The young lad answered.
Sara was very sure she heard an amused tone in his voice.
"Are you laughing at me boy ?!" She growled, leaning menacingly towards him.
"Ahh ..... umm ...so what kind of spider were you after today ?" He asked, quickly backing away from the slightly psychotic looking woman.
"We need a tarantula." Catherine answered, coming to stand next to the glowering young woman.
"Certainly Madam." The young boy smiled thankfully at Catherine. "If you'll wait just a moment we have one out back." He finished as he headed through a curtained off area.
"He better not have been laughing at me." Sara whispered offendedly to the woman beside her as the young man entered the room again and placed a small matchbox on the counter.
"Ahh what is this ?" Catherine enquired, sure that Lily had been just a little bigger than a matchbox.
"Its a tarantula." The boy answered, as if that should have been the most obvious thing in the world.
"Right....." Catherine muttered as she opened up the box and stared inside.
"Uhhh were is it ?" She asked, really not seeing anything in there at all.
"Right there." The young man pointed to a minuscule blob, about half the size of a flea.
"Ohh." Catherine muttered, bringing the box up closer to her eyes. "its a little small isn't it ?" She asked the shop assistant. "Is it a baby ?"
"No, fully grown." He answered with seeming authority.
"Actually" He continued "The ones you see on the television aren't actually real, they're just a fabrication created by the big Hollywood studios to scare little children. That is what a real tarantula looks like." He finished pointing to the small box in Catherine's hand.
"huh ..... ?? " Mumbled Catherine, surely the kid was joking right ?!
"What the hell are you talking about you little con artist ?!" Sara demanded angrily as she reached across to grab the kid.
"Listen Lady if your going to be like that I don't have to sell you anything !" The young man shrieked as he quickly jumped out of Sara's reach. Snatching the matchbox from Catherine's startled hand he quickly ran back behind the curtains again.
"Well now that's just dandy!" Catherine sighed loudly.
"How on earth are we supposed to find Gil a new spider if all your going to do is piss off the shop assistants ?!" She asked the younger woman irritatedly.
"Catherine that was NOT a God damned tarantula !" Sara yelled in annoyance, running a frustrated hand through her hair as she glared at her companion.
"Actually I'm barley even sure that it was even a spider." She added, only just resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at the older woman.
"But it said on the box that it was ....... " Catherine mumbled dejectedly, after all little boys weren't supposed to tell lies were they ?!
"Riiiigghhht ! And that's actually a tiger." Sara exclaimed as she pointed to a tiny tortoiseshell kitten in a small cage on the wall, under a placard which read 'Authentic Indian Bengal Tiger Only $45.'
"Wow, that's quite cheap!" Catherine squealed in delight as she quickly reached for her purse.
"Why don't we find you a better one at the next store huh ?!" Sara quickly suggested as she grabbed the clearly senile woman's hand and hurriedly pulled her out of the store.
"But ....." Catherine muttered disappointedly.
"Look Catherine if you be a very good girl then Sara might just buy you an ice cream, okay ?" She hastily told the older woman before she could start a crying fit in the middle of the shop.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I'm sorry, but you can't eat that ice cream in here." The burly owner of Big Daves Pet Emporium kindly mentioned as Sara and Catherine entered his spacious store.
"It's okay, I'll just wait outside for you." Catherine told the younger woman as she began to head back out the door, her earlier bad mood forgotten now that she had her very own tripple chocolate, double scope, 99% fat ice cream.
Nodding her head at the older woman Sara headed in the direction of Big Dave.
"Hi I'm Sara." She told the big man, grasping his hand and giving it a firm friendly shake.
"Don't happen to have any tarantulas do you ?" She queried.
"Hi Sara." Big Dave greeted, nearly ripping Sara's arm of with his enthusiastic shake.
"Look I'm sorry but I just sold my last one to Mrs Johnstone over there" Big Dave shook his head regretfully as he pointed out the sweet little old lady heading out the door.
"Well Damn!" Sara exclaimed as she quickly wobbled after the old woman.
"Excuse me Madam." She called after her.
"Sara Sidle, Vegas Crime lab." She stated, pulling out her ID to show the now still Mrs Johnstone.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to take that spider in to custody." She continued as she reached out to grab the ventilated pet box in the old woman's hands.
"What ? But why dear ?" Mrs Johnstone asked as she swatted at Sara's grabbing hands.
"I ..... um ....... well you see he's wanted in ahhh ..... umm .... in connection with a murder."
"But its a little girl." Mrs Johnstone said most confused.
"Ahhh ...... yeah that's what I said." Sara lied.
"No you didn't, I distinctly heard you say 'He'." Mrs Johnstone replied, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
"Listen Lady, you're old and deaf. I said 'She'." Sara replied as she lunged once more for the box.
"Well I never !" Exclaimed Mrs Johnstone offendedly, shaking her head at the dismal manners of the younger generation.
"Give me the God damned spider !" Sara screamed as she made one last grab for the box, honestly what on earth did a little old lady want a deadly spider for she wondered.
"Help! Police Brutality!." Little Mrs Johnstone squealed as she began to thoroughly whack Sara with her heavy handbag.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Ouch ..... owww ...... damn ......." Whimpered Sara as she limped out of the pet emporium.
"My God Sara, are you alright ?!" Catherine exclaimed as she dropped the rest of her ice cream cone and rushed to the younger CSIs side.
"owww." Sara repeated miserably, feeling altogether sorry for herself.
"You pissed off the Shop assistant again didn't you." Catherine chided.
"No!" Sara exclaimed insulted, did Catherine actually think she was incapable of carrying out a simple polite conversation with a stranger ?!
"So what, you just happened to walk into a very hard wall then ?!" Catherine queried sarcastically.
"Nope, just a little old lady's fist." Sara grumbled as she limped over to their parked car, rubbing at her quickly bruising face.
Shaking her head in annoyance Catherine headed around the other side of the vehicle.
At this rate she was not only going to have to explain how she killed Grissoms beloved pet, but also why she decided to gleefully mutilate and kill the only other female member of their team.
Sara so owed her at least a dozen more ice creams she thought to herself as she started the car.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"What do you mean you don't have any spiders ?!" Sara yelled at the little pink sequined man who owned Paulies Purfect Pet Palace.
"This is a Pet shop isn't it ?!" She demanded in annoyance, honestly if she didn't get a God damned spider right now then she was seriously going to start killing some people very shortly.
"Listen honey this is Paulies Purrfect Pet Palace, not some bland run of the mil Pet Shop." The little owner answered irritably.
"And for your information." The angry little man continued "A: Spiders are not pets, they're ghastly little animals that only deserve to be squished. And B: Paulie's only have animals that start with P." He finished, crossing his arms with a huff.
"Look why don't you get your girl a nice little pussy cat, or a puppy, or maybe even a parrot ? Hmmm ?" Paulie stated, seeing the sad look that had come across Sara's face.
"They're much nicer than a spider, and they wont kill her." He continued trying to cheer up the forlorn woman.
"But I want a God damned Spider !" Sara whined.
"Look do you maybe have a 'Pretty spider' ?" Catherine tried, really not wanting the younger woman to cause yet another scene.
"Yeah a Pretty Spider !" Sara said, suddenly brightening up.
"We want one of those - it starts with 'P' so there!" She chimed, poking her tongue out at the silly little man.
Damn Catherine was brilliant sometimes she thought to herself happily, she so owed the older woman at least a half a dozen more ice creams!
"Well I guess I could order one in..." Paulie relented, not wanting to further upset the cute little couple.
"Great!" Sara exclaimed ecstatically, giving the startled little man an exuberant hug.
"So when can we come and pick it up ?" She inquired.
"Ohh no you cant take the Pets home." Paulie insisted, shaking his little head.
"No, this is Paulies Purrfect Pet Palace. You come in and Pet the animals." He clarified.
"WHAT ?!" Sara screamed. Did this man think it was funny to build up there hopes then dash them ?!
"Ummm don't you think you should maybe call it Paulies Purrfect Petting Palace instead then ?" Catherine stated, thoroughly disappointed they wouldn't be getting a new Lily today.
"Honey, Do you know how expensive sign writing is these days ?!" Paulie demanded.
"A Petting Store ?!" Sara exclaimed as she began to advance on the little man.
"You're a God Damned WEIRDO !!!!!! You know that don't you ?!!!!! " The younger woman yelled as she pushed the man against the counter and leaned in threateningly.
"I want a God Damned Stupid spider, and you're going to get it for me !" She whispered menacingly.
"Listen Butch, I don't have to do anything." The little man stated with a whole lot of false bravado.
"Ohh yes you do." Sara claimed "Or else I'm going to rip out your insides and let people Pet those!." She warned.
"Arggghhhhh Help!!! Get your Stupid Assed girlfriend off of me !!!!!" The little man pleaded with Catherine.
"Hey, Don't you be calling my girlfriend Stupid Assed!" Catherine exclaimed in offence, rushing to Sara's aid so quickly that she thoroughly forget that the younger woman wasn't actually her girlfriend.
Seeing that the other woman was now advancing on him too, Paulie reached behind the counter and pressed the shops security button.
At least the police would save him from these two broads he hoped.
Maybe they might even send a nice handsome studly officer, in a uniform 3 sizes to small. And maybe he might even let Paulie Pet him, Paulie thought happily to himself as he felt Sara's fist connect with his head once more.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gil Grissom walked angrily up to the small jail cell, making sure to glare menacingly at each woman as he came to a stop infront of them.
"Who wants to explain to me WHY I got pulled out of a fascinating lecture on the social habits of the Hawaiian Surfing Beetle to come and bail two of my perfectly responsible CSIs out of jail ?!" He queried, wringing his hands around the bars threateningly.
"Well ?! I'm waiting !" He exclaimed.
Getting no response from either woman, he turned to glare irritatedly at the older of the two.
"And while we're explaining things Catherine, why don't you tell me where the hell my Mexican Red-Legged tarantula is ?!" He demanded arching an angry brow, and suddenly deciding that the shamefaced duo were definitely going to be getting all of the hard, boring, messy job for the very forseeable future.
TBC
Sara held the pet shop door open to let Catherine in, before walking up to the counter with what she hoped was her most sexy swagger, if she had to use her feminie wiles to get Grissom a new damn spider then so be it.
And anyway it couldn't be that hard could it, after all she had seen Catherine do it a thousand times before.
Unfortunately she failed to remember that she was still wearing Catherine's heels, and she ended up looking more like a really bad drag queen than the stunningly sexy woman she was sure she was.
Turning to glare at the sniggering woman behind her, she hurriedly wobbled the rest of the way to the counter.
"I need a spider." She tersely told the young shop assistant, all thoughts of charming a pet out of him completely gone.
"Certainly Madam." The young lad answered.
Sara was very sure she heard an amused tone in his voice.
"Are you laughing at me boy ?!" She growled, leaning menacingly towards him.
"Ahh ..... umm ...so what kind of spider were you after today ?" He asked, quickly backing away from the slightly psychotic looking woman.
"We need a tarantula." Catherine answered, coming to stand next to the glowering young woman.
"Certainly Madam." The young boy smiled thankfully at Catherine. "If you'll wait just a moment we have one out back." He finished as he headed through a curtained off area.
"He better not have been laughing at me." Sara whispered offendedly to the woman beside her as the young man entered the room again and placed a small matchbox on the counter.
"Ahh what is this ?" Catherine enquired, sure that Lily had been just a little bigger than a matchbox.
"Its a tarantula." The boy answered, as if that should have been the most obvious thing in the world.
"Right....." Catherine muttered as she opened up the box and stared inside.
"Uhhh were is it ?" She asked, really not seeing anything in there at all.
"Right there." The young man pointed to a minuscule blob, about half the size of a flea.
"Ohh." Catherine muttered, bringing the box up closer to her eyes. "its a little small isn't it ?" She asked the shop assistant. "Is it a baby ?"
"No, fully grown." He answered with seeming authority.
"Actually" He continued "The ones you see on the television aren't actually real, they're just a fabrication created by the big Hollywood studios to scare little children. That is what a real tarantula looks like." He finished pointing to the small box in Catherine's hand.
"huh ..... ?? " Mumbled Catherine, surely the kid was joking right ?!
"What the hell are you talking about you little con artist ?!" Sara demanded angrily as she reached across to grab the kid.
"Listen Lady if your going to be like that I don't have to sell you anything !" The young man shrieked as he quickly jumped out of Sara's reach. Snatching the matchbox from Catherine's startled hand he quickly ran back behind the curtains again.
"Well now that's just dandy!" Catherine sighed loudly.
"How on earth are we supposed to find Gil a new spider if all your going to do is piss off the shop assistants ?!" She asked the younger woman irritatedly.
"Catherine that was NOT a God damned tarantula !" Sara yelled in annoyance, running a frustrated hand through her hair as she glared at her companion.
"Actually I'm barley even sure that it was even a spider." She added, only just resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at the older woman.
"But it said on the box that it was ....... " Catherine mumbled dejectedly, after all little boys weren't supposed to tell lies were they ?!
"Riiiigghhht ! And that's actually a tiger." Sara exclaimed as she pointed to a tiny tortoiseshell kitten in a small cage on the wall, under a placard which read 'Authentic Indian Bengal Tiger Only $45.'
"Wow, that's quite cheap!" Catherine squealed in delight as she quickly reached for her purse.
"Why don't we find you a better one at the next store huh ?!" Sara quickly suggested as she grabbed the clearly senile woman's hand and hurriedly pulled her out of the store.
"But ....." Catherine muttered disappointedly.
"Look Catherine if you be a very good girl then Sara might just buy you an ice cream, okay ?" She hastily told the older woman before she could start a crying fit in the middle of the shop.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I'm sorry, but you can't eat that ice cream in here." The burly owner of Big Daves Pet Emporium kindly mentioned as Sara and Catherine entered his spacious store.
"It's okay, I'll just wait outside for you." Catherine told the younger woman as she began to head back out the door, her earlier bad mood forgotten now that she had her very own tripple chocolate, double scope, 99% fat ice cream.
Nodding her head at the older woman Sara headed in the direction of Big Dave.
"Hi I'm Sara." She told the big man, grasping his hand and giving it a firm friendly shake.
"Don't happen to have any tarantulas do you ?" She queried.
"Hi Sara." Big Dave greeted, nearly ripping Sara's arm of with his enthusiastic shake.
"Look I'm sorry but I just sold my last one to Mrs Johnstone over there" Big Dave shook his head regretfully as he pointed out the sweet little old lady heading out the door.
"Well Damn!" Sara exclaimed as she quickly wobbled after the old woman.
"Excuse me Madam." She called after her.
"Sara Sidle, Vegas Crime lab." She stated, pulling out her ID to show the now still Mrs Johnstone.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to take that spider in to custody." She continued as she reached out to grab the ventilated pet box in the old woman's hands.
"What ? But why dear ?" Mrs Johnstone asked as she swatted at Sara's grabbing hands.
"I ..... um ....... well you see he's wanted in ahhh ..... umm .... in connection with a murder."
"But its a little girl." Mrs Johnstone said most confused.
"Ahhh ...... yeah that's what I said." Sara lied.
"No you didn't, I distinctly heard you say 'He'." Mrs Johnstone replied, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
"Listen Lady, you're old and deaf. I said 'She'." Sara replied as she lunged once more for the box.
"Well I never !" Exclaimed Mrs Johnstone offendedly, shaking her head at the dismal manners of the younger generation.
"Give me the God damned spider !" Sara screamed as she made one last grab for the box, honestly what on earth did a little old lady want a deadly spider for she wondered.
"Help! Police Brutality!." Little Mrs Johnstone squealed as she began to thoroughly whack Sara with her heavy handbag.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Ouch ..... owww ...... damn ......." Whimpered Sara as she limped out of the pet emporium.
"My God Sara, are you alright ?!" Catherine exclaimed as she dropped the rest of her ice cream cone and rushed to the younger CSIs side.
"owww." Sara repeated miserably, feeling altogether sorry for herself.
"You pissed off the Shop assistant again didn't you." Catherine chided.
"No!" Sara exclaimed insulted, did Catherine actually think she was incapable of carrying out a simple polite conversation with a stranger ?!
"So what, you just happened to walk into a very hard wall then ?!" Catherine queried sarcastically.
"Nope, just a little old lady's fist." Sara grumbled as she limped over to their parked car, rubbing at her quickly bruising face.
Shaking her head in annoyance Catherine headed around the other side of the vehicle.
At this rate she was not only going to have to explain how she killed Grissoms beloved pet, but also why she decided to gleefully mutilate and kill the only other female member of their team.
Sara so owed her at least a dozen more ice creams she thought to herself as she started the car.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
"What do you mean you don't have any spiders ?!" Sara yelled at the little pink sequined man who owned Paulies Purfect Pet Palace.
"This is a Pet shop isn't it ?!" She demanded in annoyance, honestly if she didn't get a God damned spider right now then she was seriously going to start killing some people very shortly.
"Listen honey this is Paulies Purrfect Pet Palace, not some bland run of the mil Pet Shop." The little owner answered irritably.
"And for your information." The angry little man continued "A: Spiders are not pets, they're ghastly little animals that only deserve to be squished. And B: Paulie's only have animals that start with P." He finished, crossing his arms with a huff.
"Look why don't you get your girl a nice little pussy cat, or a puppy, or maybe even a parrot ? Hmmm ?" Paulie stated, seeing the sad look that had come across Sara's face.
"They're much nicer than a spider, and they wont kill her." He continued trying to cheer up the forlorn woman.
"But I want a God damned Spider !" Sara whined.
"Look do you maybe have a 'Pretty spider' ?" Catherine tried, really not wanting the younger woman to cause yet another scene.
"Yeah a Pretty Spider !" Sara said, suddenly brightening up.
"We want one of those - it starts with 'P' so there!" She chimed, poking her tongue out at the silly little man.
Damn Catherine was brilliant sometimes she thought to herself happily, she so owed the older woman at least a half a dozen more ice creams!
"Well I guess I could order one in..." Paulie relented, not wanting to further upset the cute little couple.
"Great!" Sara exclaimed ecstatically, giving the startled little man an exuberant hug.
"So when can we come and pick it up ?" She inquired.
"Ohh no you cant take the Pets home." Paulie insisted, shaking his little head.
"No, this is Paulies Purrfect Pet Palace. You come in and Pet the animals." He clarified.
"WHAT ?!" Sara screamed. Did this man think it was funny to build up there hopes then dash them ?!
"Ummm don't you think you should maybe call it Paulies Purrfect Petting Palace instead then ?" Catherine stated, thoroughly disappointed they wouldn't be getting a new Lily today.
"Honey, Do you know how expensive sign writing is these days ?!" Paulie demanded.
"A Petting Store ?!" Sara exclaimed as she began to advance on the little man.
"You're a God Damned WEIRDO !!!!!! You know that don't you ?!!!!! " The younger woman yelled as she pushed the man against the counter and leaned in threateningly.
"I want a God Damned Stupid spider, and you're going to get it for me !" She whispered menacingly.
"Listen Butch, I don't have to do anything." The little man stated with a whole lot of false bravado.
"Ohh yes you do." Sara claimed "Or else I'm going to rip out your insides and let people Pet those!." She warned.
"Arggghhhhh Help!!! Get your Stupid Assed girlfriend off of me !!!!!" The little man pleaded with Catherine.
"Hey, Don't you be calling my girlfriend Stupid Assed!" Catherine exclaimed in offence, rushing to Sara's aid so quickly that she thoroughly forget that the younger woman wasn't actually her girlfriend.
Seeing that the other woman was now advancing on him too, Paulie reached behind the counter and pressed the shops security button.
At least the police would save him from these two broads he hoped.
Maybe they might even send a nice handsome studly officer, in a uniform 3 sizes to small. And maybe he might even let Paulie Pet him, Paulie thought happily to himself as he felt Sara's fist connect with his head once more.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Gil Grissom walked angrily up to the small jail cell, making sure to glare menacingly at each woman as he came to a stop infront of them.
"Who wants to explain to me WHY I got pulled out of a fascinating lecture on the social habits of the Hawaiian Surfing Beetle to come and bail two of my perfectly responsible CSIs out of jail ?!" He queried, wringing his hands around the bars threateningly.
"Well ?! I'm waiting !" He exclaimed.
Getting no response from either woman, he turned to glare irritatedly at the older of the two.
"And while we're explaining things Catherine, why don't you tell me where the hell my Mexican Red-Legged tarantula is ?!" He demanded arching an angry brow, and suddenly deciding that the shamefaced duo were definitely going to be getting all of the hard, boring, messy job for the very forseeable future.
TBC