Hiya happy-chans, sorry about the later update... I re-wrote this chapter cause I totally screwed up the first attmept... But, the 10th is finally here.

In reply to the review from Yamiyugichick : The song in chapter 4 was 'Long Way Down' by the GooGoo Dolls.

Oh, and guys... This chapter is the start of the plot you lot chose, and you'll all find out why this fic is an angst... ::wink::
Enjoy! (And I don't own the song 'Stigmatized' by The Calling... Thought it fitted in quite nicely...)

ten: Stigmatized

The wind screamed through the streets, blowing back the Yami's jacket as he walked along the sidewalk, getting utterly soaked. Bakura kept his head low, acting as if he didn't care that the rain was beating hard against him, making his platinum hair cling to his neck and face. Nothing could bother him right now; he only had one thing on his mind.

Ryou.

How could he leave him back there with Malik? He trusted the Egyptian to look after him, but he couldn't stand being away from his light, and they hadn't been separated for a long, long time. The spirit regretted almost every word he said to Ryou back at Malik's, how could he be so cruel? Saying things like 'you're meant to be my hikari,' he knew now that saying something like that was totally uncalled for, it must have hurt Ryou so much and he hated himself for not realising that before he said it. Once again, and like always, he'd let his anger take control of him.

Eventually coming to his street, Bakura finally began to walk quickly to get inside as he started to feel the cold of the storm that had now drenched him thoroughly. Rummaging in his pockets to unlock the front door, the Yami soon realised he didn't have his keys.

"Shit..." Bakura muttered to himself.

He was in such a rush to leave, he didn't even bother picking them up. Sighing heavily Bakura walked round to the side of the house, easily climbing over the back gate and jumping down into the back yard. Bakura walked round to the kitchen window and pushed it open; thankful it was left open as he had a tendency to lock himself out. With a swift movement, Bakura pulled himself up through the window, shutting it behind him and locking it. The Yami sighed and slid down from the kitchen surface, sighing again when he saw the trail of puddles he'd left.

Taking off his ringing wet jacket, Bakura hung it over the radiator in the hallway to dry before pulling off his shirt and tossing it in the dirty washing basket, whilst grabbing a towel which he used to rub his hair dry.

Finally dry, Bakura went into the living room and flopped down on the couch, utterly exhausted. Running his hand back through his hair the Yami glanced at the clock to see it was still rather early in the morning. Rolling his eyes the spirit let his head fall back on the couch, his eyes lightly closing.

His head was buried in the Egyptian's chest tears rolling from his chocolate depths and staining his pale cheeks with tiny trails of water.

"Shh... Ryou... Everything will be all right," Malik cooed, nuzzling into the hikari's hair in a comforting manner.

"No it won't... You heard him... He said don't come back!" Ryou cried, clinging to Malik as if his life depended on it.

"He was mad Ryou. He didn't mean it."

"Yes he did... I know he did. The way he looked at me, I could tell he hated me so much," Ryou whispered, the tears rolling from his cheeks onto Malik's shirt.

"I know for a fact Bakura doesn't hate you Ryou. If he did, then why would he come here for you?" Malik asked, trying to reassure the hikari as much as he could.

"I don't know... He might have cared then, but he doesn't anymore. I know... I can feel it..."

Is this ever going to work out? Bakura thought to himself, all this has happened, we've both said things we mean and don't mean... But it still hasn't gotten any better... Only worse.

The spirit sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, and still feeling the wetness of the rain he got up to go to the bathroom and collect a towel.

Dragging his hand up the banister, Bakura eventually came to the bathroom door and clicked it open, stepping inside. Taking in a light breath, the platinum-haired spirit shuffled over towards the hanger to grab a towel, but the stopped half way at the basin. His eyes trailed up to the mirror above the sink, gazing at his reflection as if he was staring himself out.

"Such a baka..." he muttered to himself, glancing down at the sink before him, before turning to the small CD Player that was perched on top of the cabinet. Clicking the play button, and not knowing which CD was inside, he stayed still, waiting for the song to start.

"If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will we ever be
Even if God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you"

Smiling softly at the sound of one of his favourite songs he glanced back at the mirror, his smile suddenly fading.

Ryou.

He could see his other half in himself, gazing back at him with those perfect eyes that shone none stop, those lips that graced the sweetest of sweet smiles and he saw them in himself. But why? He looked nothing like Ryou yet his light was before him, gawping as if in curiosity. He was nothing like Ryou, and he never would be. How could he be so angelic, so kind and sweet? It was simply impossible for such a tainted being to suddenly change into the purest thing there was and to know nothing but good. To actually be able to show emotion and love, and not fear it couldn't happen... It would never happen.

"Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized"

Bakura bit his lip slightly his eyes averting down back to the sink where he saw two razor blades. Simply lying there.

"How can you feel it?" Malik asked, though he knew it was a stupid question. Ryou was a hikari, like he was, being able to feel what your other half felt was a simple task. But he wanted to keep the lights mind as far away from Bakura and what had happened as much as he could.

Ryou sighed, "You know very well how Malik..." he said softly, harshly rubbing his eyes as he pulled out from the hug, instead hugging himself.

"Ryou... Are you-"

"Ok? No..." the light interrupted, his eyes dull and lifeless as he stared at the floor.

"What's wrong?" Malik asked.

"Something's wrong. I feel so confused, but I know it's not me. It's Bakura... I've never felt like this before, usually I know what he's thinking... But now... It's all just a blur," the light said in a soft tone, keeping his eyes fixed to the ground.

"He's probably got a lot on his mind that's all. After all that's happened between you guys, I wouldn't be surprised if he was confused, and if his thoughts were a blur," the blonde said in a reassuring tone.

Ryou nodded, "I suppose..."

"I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray"

The spirit stood and stared at the blades on the side of the sink, not being able to take his eyes from the shimmering metal. It looked so inviting, just laying there, the sharpness of each blade clearly visible. And how much he wanted them just to...

"No..." Bakura muttered, cutting off his thoughts, "I'm not that weak..." he added gazing back into the mirror, his breathing suddenly heavier than before.

The Yami's eyes met with his own, staring back at himself as if he was looking at a stranger. But maybe... he thought, glancing back down at the shimmering silver, the words of the song echoing through his mind.

"Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized"

Maybe if I wasn't here... Everyone would be better off... Bakura thought silently. It was true to him, so true, it was painfully obvious to him. Malik wouldn't have to listen to him all the time whenever he screwed something up, and he'd be free to do what he pleases on a Friday night instead of going out with him all the time. And Ryou. No longer having to put up with the constant harshness of the Yami, not having to live in fear and dread, just waiting for the next time his spirit would flip and hurt him. But what Bakura cared about the most, was his light would be... Happy, even if it was without him.

"We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
We'll live our lives, we'll take the punches every day
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way"

Ryou would be free. No longer kept in chains by his other half, he'd be open to love anyone he wanted, go anywhere he pleased and never having to make sure he was ok with it.

Sighing to himself he turned on his heels and went through the door into the bedroom, taking a random piece of paper and a pencil he laid it out on the small bedside table and started writing.

After around ten minutes, Bakura threw the pencil to the side and took the paper in his hand and went back into the bathroom, straight away going to the sink and grasping one of the blades.

"I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized"

"But it's never happened before. No matter how mad he was, his head was always clear," Ryou said in a whisper, "I'm worried Malik..."

"Shhh..." Malik cooed softly, opening his arms when Ryou leaned over into a hug. I am too, the blonde thought to himself as he cradled the crying light in his arms.

Ryou held onto Malik tight, his hands grasping the Egyptian's shirt tightly. Why had he stayed here? Everything could have been sorted out if he hadn't assumed all of those things about Bakura, and he'd be in the arms of the one he yearned for so much, instead of just a friend. Why isn't anything getting better? We've said so many things... Yet nothing's changed, why can't I just be like him... Always knowing what you want... Not letting anything stop you...I just want it all to end... the light thought silently, not realising how much he was like Bakura, in every single way.

"We live our lives on different sides
But we keep together you and I
We live our loves on different sides,
We're gonna live our lives"

Sitting down against the wall after he'd locked the door, Bakura put the piece of paper down beside him, resting his head back against the wall.

The Yami started to feel hot; the adrenalin from the thoughts of what he was going to do started to build up more and more. He twisted the blade between two fingers, feeling the perfectly sharp edge as it moved. Yet it puzzled him, something to small could put a stop to everything, something so small could end all problems. He blinked slowly as he felt wetness on his eyes, and he quickly realised tears were forming in his chocolate depths, slowly trickling down his cheeks yet again. Though it was different this time, he didn't care he was crying, and he knew why he was. The pure fear of the pain he'd be putting himself through scared him. No. It terrified him. Bakura had felt pain before; he'd felt agony and he'd took it all head on without ever giving up. But he feared this pain with all he had. The fear of death. To know his eyes would never open, to know his voice would never sound, to know his mind would never think petrified the spirit dearly. But he knew it was the only way, he'd be making others happy, as well as himself. He'd no longer have to go through the torture of love. He'd never have to feel the misery to know he'd hurt someone he cared about so, so much. That took some of the pain and dread away; knowing that the person you loved with every ounce of heart you had was going to be happy... And free.

"Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives, Gonna live our lives,

Stigmatized..."

He was so sad, so afraid, so happy...

Bakura grasped the blade harder, put it to his wrist, and cut.

::nervous laugh:: I just couldn't resist making it a cliffy... And... Yeah... Poor Kura ne...

R&R!

S4K