Chapter Seven:
"Ummm..... whatcha doing ?" Sara asked worriedly as she place a fresh cup of coffee in front of the older woman.
"Ohh you know, just looking through some magazines." Catherine replied far to nonchalantly.
"Okay..." Sara mumbled glumly as she slowly sat down beside the other woman.
"So how much is this going to cost me ?" She finally asked the older CSI.
"A lot." Catherine exclaimed happily as she turned to face a rather forlorn looking Sara. "A very big lot !" She added evilly, turning back to peruse the latest issue of Billion Dollar Brides.
"But Catherine..." Sara began to whine.
"Sara don't." Catherine warned, once again turning to face the annoyed looking brunette. "You, and your big mouth got us into this situation, so you really have no one else to blame." She replied, leaning over and patronisingly patting the other woman on the knee.
"Okay, I get that this is somewhat slightly my fault." Sara reluctantly admitted. "But..." she continued "Wouldn't it be nicer to just have a VERY small and short ceremony ?!"
"Sara, my last wedding was in a small dark registry and took a total of two and a half minutes. And don't even get me started on the jeans and t-shirt that I wore." Catherine began to rant.
"I want a proper wedding. Dress, cake, band and all, and by God Sara your going to pay for it." She gladly told the younger woman.
"But Catherine, I told Grissom we were having it at my parents place, so its not like I can hire out Buckingham Palace or anything." Sara pointed out, hopeful that the other woman would begin to see things her way.
"That's perfectly fine, we can just go for the 'Quaintly Expensive' look, its very chic now apparently." Catherine replied, quickly flicking through her magazine to show Sara.
"God Damn it Catherine, its not even going to be legal." Sara exclaimed angrily, jumping up from her seat and pacing furiously in front of the strawberry blonde.
"Ohh honey it doesn't matter if our country doesn't recognise our relationship, it only matters that our friends and family can see our commitment to one another." Catherine answered, giving the young CSI an extremely tender look.
"Oh my God Catherine, this is not for real !!!!" Sara shrieked, as she quickly rushed over to the other woman. Knelling infront of her, she grabbed Catherine's hands in her own and looked her in the eye. "Catherine this is all just a cover so we can get Grissom another stupid spider alright. We'll just go through with a small ceremony, get the spider, come home, and after a few weeks just tell everybody that it didn't work out okay ?"
"Sara, of course we can still get Grissom's spider." Catherine replied kindly, lightly squeezing the younger woman's hands in reassurance. "But the wedding is the real deal." She added, squishing Sara's hands a little harder in reinforcement. "We REALLY get married, you move in here, and we live happily ever after. Got it ?!" She demanded almost menacingly.
"But Catherine, I don't even like women." Sara whined, quickly pulling her hands out of the other woman's grasp and rubbing them furiously.
"Well then Sara you shouldn't have offered to be Lindsay's parent should you ?!" Catherine stated "Lindsay and I are not going through another divorce, And quite frankly I'm not getting any younger, so welcome to the family Sara." She finished, giving the annoyed woman a quick peck on the cheek, before going back to her bridal magazines.
"Well I'm telling my Mommy on you. So there !" Sara shouted immaturely, as she jumped up and quickly stomped out of Catherine's lounge, hoping that she was indeed heading in the direction of a phone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hello Tamales Bay Bed & Breakfast, the Best little B&B just out of San Francisco, Emma Sidle speaking." A cheery voice answered on the other end.
"Hey Mom." Sara sighed gladly as she lifted herself up onto Catherine's kitchen bench.
"Sara honey is that you ?" Emma gushed happily, it had been so long since they had heard from their baby girl.
"Yeah Ma." Sara answered, thinking that she really aught to talk to her parents more often.
"Hold on while I go get your father honey." Emma replied, quickly throwing the phone down and racing out to the garden to get her husband.
"Hey baby, how you doing down there? That bug man treating you alright ?" Adam Sidle asked his little girl a few minutes later.
"Hey dad." Sara smiled into the phone, her parents might be slightly brainless hippies, but she actually kinda did miss them a whole lot.
"Grissom's just fine dad, and so am I. But hey, how are you guys ?" She asked, trying to think of various different ways to get out of telling them about her upcoming nuptials. Maybe she could just write them a letter she thought suddenly, they'd only be slightly pissed .....
"Your mom and me are doing just fine honey. Actually business is booming, what with all of them gay marriages we had to add another story on to even accommodate half the people that wanted rooms. Damn shame they stopped them. Stupid patriarchal capitalists " Adam exclaimed.
"Huh! Funny you should mention that dad." Sara stated, damn she so didn't want to do this she thought angrily.
"What? Patriarchal capitalist honey ?" Adam asked, not really sure why that was funny at all.
"No Dad !" Sara exclaimed, slightly moodily.
"Look can you put the speaker phone on dad, I need to talk to both you and Mom about something." Sara sighed.
"Sure honey." Adam replied as he hit the speaker button, and placed the handpiece down.
"Can you hear us honey ?" He asked, not really trusting that all this new technology wasn't some conspiracy by the government to spy on the populace's lives.
"Your coming in loud and clear Dad." Sara smirked, imagining her parents grimacing at having to use such up to date technology.
"Look, I was wondering if it would be alright If I came up there for a few days." Sara began.
"Of course you can." Both her parents answered happily, this really was beginning to look like a great day, why they couldn't have been anymore happier had their little girl suddenly announced something as ludicrous as she was marrying another woman.
"Great, so I was wondering if it would be alright if I bought a few friends with me...." Sara continued.
"Sure honey." Her father answered. "They're not republicans are they ?!" He quickly added.
"Ummm ..... no ...... " Sara mumbled, wondering if she could make Grissom wear a Democrat shirt.
"Ohh well that's alright honey." Her mother answered, afterall Adam was right, they couldn't have republicans hanging around, it was just bad for business.
"Great. So umm ..... well .... I was ahh.... wondering if it would be alright to have my wedding while I was
there." Sara quickly spluttered, deciding if she didn't get it out now then she never would.
"Umm .... Hello, Guys ?? Still there ??" Sara asked after an hour of getting no response.
"Ohh baby ......" Emma cried happily into the phone.
"Congratulations honey, this is just .... wow..." Adam mumbled as he held his sobbing wife to him.
"Thanks dad. So its all cool then." Sara replied happily, maybe she wouldn't have to actually mention that she was marrying another woman.
"Of course honey." Adam replied. "But why haven't we heard about this guy before Sara ?" He quickly questioned.
"Ohh because ahhh ....... umm ..... well I wasn't really sure how you would take it, stupid me huh ?!" Sara stammered.
"Honey, what's this boy's name ? What dose he do ? tell me all about him ?" Emma asked, drying her eyes on her husbands flannel shirt.
"Ohh ahhh, well we work together, and umm well this person is a little older than me. Ohh they've got a little girl named Lindsay, she's just so cute you'll love her to bits." Sara stated, unconsciously rubbing the shin that the little brat had kicked earlier.
"Honey, that sounds so lovely." Emma sighed happily. "But what's his name Sara ?" She asked, wanting to know the name of the man that had made her baby so happy.
"...... Catherine ......" Sara muttered unhappily.
"Sorry sweetheart, your going to have to speak up." Her father told her.
"God damn it I said CATHERINE !!!" Sara yelled frustratedley.
"Catherine, that's an odd name for a boy isn't it dear ?" Emma asked her husband.
"That's probably because its a GIRLS name God damn it !" Sara yelled, honestly just how stupid could her parents be.
"As in I am marrying another WOMAN. In the GAYEST possible way. As in I'm a big old LESBIAN apparently." Sara began to rant.
"Are you two with me yet ?!" She asked, only to be greeted with ridiculously loud squeals of joy, clapping of hands, crying, laughing and cheering."
Catherine I hate you so much ! She quickly thought to herself as she hurriedly hung up the phone, hoping that the toll call had cost the older woman a preposterous amount of money.
She was about to jump back down and go and annoy the strawberry blonde some more when an even better idea occurred to her. Picking up the phone once more she dialled a number she remembered seeing at a case on the strip.
"Hi, I'm Candy Licous, how can I help you tonight ?" A seductive young voice whispered.
"Hey Candy, I'm Sara." The brunette returned the greeting.
"Look I was just curious as to how much you charged ?" She asked.
"Our calls cost $5.99 per minute, we have a special $1.00 off for every half hour, and please make sure you ask the bill payer first." Candy rattled off wearily.
"Ohh yeah I am SOOOO the bill payer." Sara lied happily. "Ohh and just forget the half hour special, I'm more than happy to pay full price." She added, settling herself in for a nice long phone call.
"So is Candy your real name ?" She asked intrigued.
"Babe, your paying, you can call me whatever you want." Candy laughed.
"Really ?! Cool.... " Sara mumbled.
"How about Catherine ?" She suggested.
TBC...........
"Ummm..... whatcha doing ?" Sara asked worriedly as she place a fresh cup of coffee in front of the older woman.
"Ohh you know, just looking through some magazines." Catherine replied far to nonchalantly.
"Okay..." Sara mumbled glumly as she slowly sat down beside the other woman.
"So how much is this going to cost me ?" She finally asked the older CSI.
"A lot." Catherine exclaimed happily as she turned to face a rather forlorn looking Sara. "A very big lot !" She added evilly, turning back to peruse the latest issue of Billion Dollar Brides.
"But Catherine..." Sara began to whine.
"Sara don't." Catherine warned, once again turning to face the annoyed looking brunette. "You, and your big mouth got us into this situation, so you really have no one else to blame." She replied, leaning over and patronisingly patting the other woman on the knee.
"Okay, I get that this is somewhat slightly my fault." Sara reluctantly admitted. "But..." she continued "Wouldn't it be nicer to just have a VERY small and short ceremony ?!"
"Sara, my last wedding was in a small dark registry and took a total of two and a half minutes. And don't even get me started on the jeans and t-shirt that I wore." Catherine began to rant.
"I want a proper wedding. Dress, cake, band and all, and by God Sara your going to pay for it." She gladly told the younger woman.
"But Catherine, I told Grissom we were having it at my parents place, so its not like I can hire out Buckingham Palace or anything." Sara pointed out, hopeful that the other woman would begin to see things her way.
"That's perfectly fine, we can just go for the 'Quaintly Expensive' look, its very chic now apparently." Catherine replied, quickly flicking through her magazine to show Sara.
"God Damn it Catherine, its not even going to be legal." Sara exclaimed angrily, jumping up from her seat and pacing furiously in front of the strawberry blonde.
"Ohh honey it doesn't matter if our country doesn't recognise our relationship, it only matters that our friends and family can see our commitment to one another." Catherine answered, giving the young CSI an extremely tender look.
"Oh my God Catherine, this is not for real !!!!" Sara shrieked, as she quickly rushed over to the other woman. Knelling infront of her, she grabbed Catherine's hands in her own and looked her in the eye. "Catherine this is all just a cover so we can get Grissom another stupid spider alright. We'll just go through with a small ceremony, get the spider, come home, and after a few weeks just tell everybody that it didn't work out okay ?"
"Sara, of course we can still get Grissom's spider." Catherine replied kindly, lightly squeezing the younger woman's hands in reassurance. "But the wedding is the real deal." She added, squishing Sara's hands a little harder in reinforcement. "We REALLY get married, you move in here, and we live happily ever after. Got it ?!" She demanded almost menacingly.
"But Catherine, I don't even like women." Sara whined, quickly pulling her hands out of the other woman's grasp and rubbing them furiously.
"Well then Sara you shouldn't have offered to be Lindsay's parent should you ?!" Catherine stated "Lindsay and I are not going through another divorce, And quite frankly I'm not getting any younger, so welcome to the family Sara." She finished, giving the annoyed woman a quick peck on the cheek, before going back to her bridal magazines.
"Well I'm telling my Mommy on you. So there !" Sara shouted immaturely, as she jumped up and quickly stomped out of Catherine's lounge, hoping that she was indeed heading in the direction of a phone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Hello Tamales Bay Bed & Breakfast, the Best little B&B just out of San Francisco, Emma Sidle speaking." A cheery voice answered on the other end.
"Hey Mom." Sara sighed gladly as she lifted herself up onto Catherine's kitchen bench.
"Sara honey is that you ?" Emma gushed happily, it had been so long since they had heard from their baby girl.
"Yeah Ma." Sara answered, thinking that she really aught to talk to her parents more often.
"Hold on while I go get your father honey." Emma replied, quickly throwing the phone down and racing out to the garden to get her husband.
"Hey baby, how you doing down there? That bug man treating you alright ?" Adam Sidle asked his little girl a few minutes later.
"Hey dad." Sara smiled into the phone, her parents might be slightly brainless hippies, but she actually kinda did miss them a whole lot.
"Grissom's just fine dad, and so am I. But hey, how are you guys ?" She asked, trying to think of various different ways to get out of telling them about her upcoming nuptials. Maybe she could just write them a letter she thought suddenly, they'd only be slightly pissed .....
"Your mom and me are doing just fine honey. Actually business is booming, what with all of them gay marriages we had to add another story on to even accommodate half the people that wanted rooms. Damn shame they stopped them. Stupid patriarchal capitalists " Adam exclaimed.
"Huh! Funny you should mention that dad." Sara stated, damn she so didn't want to do this she thought angrily.
"What? Patriarchal capitalist honey ?" Adam asked, not really sure why that was funny at all.
"No Dad !" Sara exclaimed, slightly moodily.
"Look can you put the speaker phone on dad, I need to talk to both you and Mom about something." Sara sighed.
"Sure honey." Adam replied as he hit the speaker button, and placed the handpiece down.
"Can you hear us honey ?" He asked, not really trusting that all this new technology wasn't some conspiracy by the government to spy on the populace's lives.
"Your coming in loud and clear Dad." Sara smirked, imagining her parents grimacing at having to use such up to date technology.
"Look, I was wondering if it would be alright If I came up there for a few days." Sara began.
"Of course you can." Both her parents answered happily, this really was beginning to look like a great day, why they couldn't have been anymore happier had their little girl suddenly announced something as ludicrous as she was marrying another woman.
"Great, so I was wondering if it would be alright if I bought a few friends with me...." Sara continued.
"Sure honey." Her father answered. "They're not republicans are they ?!" He quickly added.
"Ummm ..... no ...... " Sara mumbled, wondering if she could make Grissom wear a Democrat shirt.
"Ohh well that's alright honey." Her mother answered, afterall Adam was right, they couldn't have republicans hanging around, it was just bad for business.
"Great. So umm ..... well .... I was ahh.... wondering if it would be alright to have my wedding while I was
there." Sara quickly spluttered, deciding if she didn't get it out now then she never would.
"Umm .... Hello, Guys ?? Still there ??" Sara asked after an hour of getting no response.
"Ohh baby ......" Emma cried happily into the phone.
"Congratulations honey, this is just .... wow..." Adam mumbled as he held his sobbing wife to him.
"Thanks dad. So its all cool then." Sara replied happily, maybe she wouldn't have to actually mention that she was marrying another woman.
"Of course honey." Adam replied. "But why haven't we heard about this guy before Sara ?" He quickly questioned.
"Ohh because ahhh ....... umm ..... well I wasn't really sure how you would take it, stupid me huh ?!" Sara stammered.
"Honey, what's this boy's name ? What dose he do ? tell me all about him ?" Emma asked, drying her eyes on her husbands flannel shirt.
"Ohh ahhh, well we work together, and umm well this person is a little older than me. Ohh they've got a little girl named Lindsay, she's just so cute you'll love her to bits." Sara stated, unconsciously rubbing the shin that the little brat had kicked earlier.
"Honey, that sounds so lovely." Emma sighed happily. "But what's his name Sara ?" She asked, wanting to know the name of the man that had made her baby so happy.
"...... Catherine ......" Sara muttered unhappily.
"Sorry sweetheart, your going to have to speak up." Her father told her.
"God damn it I said CATHERINE !!!" Sara yelled frustratedley.
"Catherine, that's an odd name for a boy isn't it dear ?" Emma asked her husband.
"That's probably because its a GIRLS name God damn it !" Sara yelled, honestly just how stupid could her parents be.
"As in I am marrying another WOMAN. In the GAYEST possible way. As in I'm a big old LESBIAN apparently." Sara began to rant.
"Are you two with me yet ?!" She asked, only to be greeted with ridiculously loud squeals of joy, clapping of hands, crying, laughing and cheering."
Catherine I hate you so much ! She quickly thought to herself as she hurriedly hung up the phone, hoping that the toll call had cost the older woman a preposterous amount of money.
She was about to jump back down and go and annoy the strawberry blonde some more when an even better idea occurred to her. Picking up the phone once more she dialled a number she remembered seeing at a case on the strip.
"Hi, I'm Candy Licous, how can I help you tonight ?" A seductive young voice whispered.
"Hey Candy, I'm Sara." The brunette returned the greeting.
"Look I was just curious as to how much you charged ?" She asked.
"Our calls cost $5.99 per minute, we have a special $1.00 off for every half hour, and please make sure you ask the bill payer first." Candy rattled off wearily.
"Ohh yeah I am SOOOO the bill payer." Sara lied happily. "Ohh and just forget the half hour special, I'm more than happy to pay full price." She added, settling herself in for a nice long phone call.
"So is Candy your real name ?" She asked intrigued.
"Babe, your paying, you can call me whatever you want." Candy laughed.
"Really ?! Cool.... " Sara mumbled.
"How about Catherine ?" She suggested.
TBC...........