Disclaimer: Naruto and characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto, I am just borrowing them .
The Perfect Moment(Because I can't think of a better title)
Pairings: None
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Tsunade-Hime, Godaime of Konohagakure, one of the "Legendary Three", brilliant doctor, and infamous gambling addict (that earned her the somewhat perverse name "The Legendary Sucker", you do the math), was not having a good day. On the contrary, she was possibly having the shittiest day of her life.
Konohagakure, The Village of the Hidden Leaf, was still recovering from the joint attack on its very heart, by the Hidden Sound Village and the Hidden Sand Village. The Shinobi that survived the attack were still being stretched to their limits with the amount of missions they were assigned, to keep up the appearance to other Hidden Villages and the Fire Country's Lords that Konohagakure was not so affected by the attack.
This of course meant more paper work for Tsunade. She stared at the mounds of paper work on her desk, in the office of the Hokage. Some piles were reaching record-breaking heights, and her assistants went about their day, adding even more to the massive towers of paper.
Our Lovely Hokage, Tsunade, felt the beginnings of a migraine behind her eyes. She cast a look that would have made the most hardened assassins cringe in fear at her desk, trying to will away the offending reports, requests, and silly statistics. She had had enough.
Shoving herself away from the desk, Tsunade lurched to her feet, she bent back slightly, a series of cracks could be heard, and a content smile etched itself onto the face, courtesy of Genjutsu, of the Godaime.
Quickly, scanning the immediate vicinity (i.e. her office and the rooms surrounding it), for her "diligent" assistants. Tsunade made a break for the window, disappearing in a puff of smoke as she jumped onto the ledge of the window.
Toad Hermit Jiraiya, also one of the "Legendary Three", The White Haired Child from the East, author of ever-popular 'romance series' Icha Icha Paradise, Ero-Sennin, was having a good day. Not the kind of good day that you wake up to smiling and in a happy disposition. I mean the kind of good day that he just visited the female end of the Bath House and spied new and utterly enticing fresh meat that sent his loins into frenzy and his thoughts primarily into the gutter.
Plus, he had just left Konoha's Number One Hyperactive Ninja tied to tree near Training Area 44, with a cup of instant ramen open and marinating in front of him. Unfortunately for Naruto...Jiraiya COULD tie a knot.
The reason for tying Uzumaki Naruto to a tree near Training Area 44, with an open and steaming cup of instant ramen in front of him? Why would he do such a thing to a boy, whose only temptation IS Ramen?
Naruto, trying to protect the modesty of the women in the bathhouse, and to watch Ero-Sennin get his ass beat raw by a bunch of girls, had adopted his Sexy-no-Jutsu form and snuck into the women's bath. Our kitsune had waded over to the side of the bathhouse where Ero-Sennin was peeping through a hole. He had casually turned in his guise and made like he was looking around at the décor of the bath, passing his gaze slowly and deliberately right into the one visible eye of the Toad Hermit at the peephole.
Naruto feigned outrage and fear, doing the one thing that guaranteed him his vision of Jiraiya getting his ass beat, and unfortunately his own sad fate of being tied up to a tree with his one passion just out of his reach. Jiraiya's one eye widened in recognition of the blonde girl in front of him. But bollocks for him, he was too late.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! PERVERT!!!" Naruto's loud feminine shriek echoed through the bathhouse.
And thus the reason for Ero-Sennin's happiness, and Naruto's sorrow.
Tsunade breathed in the fresh air of the outside, glad to get away from the tedious paper work and never ending issues brought to her by her assistants. She smiled, walking slowly through Konoha as she took in the sites of her home, the sky, and the sun shinning brilliantly down on her.
Construction upon the village was finished months ago, repairing the damage of that fateful battle, almost everything was as it was before but for a few things she could see. The people, even though they were smiling and going about their everyday business, still had that forlorn look about their faces of the attack; just like the hatred and spite they held for her little brother, Naruto.
Her genjustu-produced firm forehead furrowed at that thought. Why couldn't they see that the boy was so much more then the demon fox they had him pegged for?
Her musings were cut short by raucous laughter coming from one of the local sake stands. A familiar mane of jagged white hair could be seen from under the curtains of the entrance to the stand. She sighed.
Tsunade casually walked over to the stand, parting the curtain with a hand as she beheld, one of the banes of her existence, but a true comrade and friend nonetheless.
Jiraiya.
She slid into the stool next to him as he turned and gave her a crooked smile. Tsunade wanted to belt him in the jaw.
"Tsunade-hime, care for a drink?" asked Jiraiya, casually sipping sake from his dish. He looked too happy for anyone's good.
"Only if you are paying", she replied, Tsunade really didn't feel like spending money at the moment, better to spend his.
Jiraiya gestured to the bartender. Said bartender set a dish and a bottle of sake in front of her. Who was she to resist free sake?
"Might I ask what the occasion is?" Tsunade enquired. She already finished her first dish and was pouring a second.
"Oh, nothing really. Just took care of a little pest to my work", he spoke into his dish before taking a sip.
She raised a brow at that.
"It's taken care of, for the moment. It wont be bothering me for a while."
Both of her brows raised near her hairline.
The question forming as to what, or more appropriately who the pest/problem was, soon answered itself, in the form of an orange clad boy, with hair the color of morning sunshine and eyes a sea of sky, standing right behind the Toad Pervert.
"ERO-SENNIN!"
Jiraiya, in his state of mild inebriation slowly turned with a grimace on his face. How had the brat gotten out of one of HIS knots? He faced the boy who had his arms crossed over his chest and a ramen noodle on the collar of his orange jacket. He was beginning to think the boys sole purpose was to cramp his style and prevent him from peep- ugh I mean, researching valid material for his book series.
"Yes?" he drawled. Jiraiya gazed down his nose at the boy.
"Kage Bunshin No Jutsu!" Naruto cried, forming the seals with his hands as if second nature to him. A dozen Narutos appeared before him.
Jiraiya groaned, he didn't need this.
"Kid, you are a moron."
Tsunade watched the exchange with interest. So Naruto was preventing the voyeur Jiraiya from getting ideas for his book, eh?
The various Narutos' faces scrunched up in fury, their blue eyes flashing before they yelled their next attack.
Jiraiya yawned.
Tsunade took another sip from her dish watching.
Naruto.... Naruto did something Jiraya didn't like. Naruto, with his eyes narrowed into slits, smirked. He didn't give that wide grin, or infamous fox face. Naruto smirked. Jiraiya didn't just not like it, he loathed it.
"Kid, I am gonna give you three sec..." Jiraiya was cut off.
"HAREM NO JUTSU!!" The self-proclaimed future Hokage screamed.
Tsunade's eyes widened as Jiraya was surrounded, and to a point, fondled, by very buxom and very naked blonde women, each one with pigtails, and Naruto's trademark whiskers.
Jiraiya, as he would proudly tell you, has seen MANY naked females, from foreigners to local dishes, each special in their own right and incredibly sexy to boot. He has seen many of them, been beaten by many of them, but never has he been fawned over or "fondled" by many of them.
Two thick streams of blood spouted at least twenty feet into the air.
Jiraiya lay on the floor, leaned halfway upright by the bottom of the bar counter, twitching violently. The top half of his kimono was covered in blood as well as two small trickles coming from his nostrils.
Naruto, dispelling his Harem No Justu, pumped his fist into the air.
"HAHA, TAKE THAT ERO-SENNIN!!!"
Naruto slowly lowered his fist as he heard laughter. Not the giggling laughter, but the full-blown, sidesplitting, pee your pants laughter.
He looked to his side to see Tsunade-baachan, with her forehead resting on the bar counter, her arms wrapped around her torso and her shoulders shaking violently.
Naruto looked from Tsunade-baachan to Ero-Sennin, and back again. He came to a conclusion. Ah HA!
Folding his arms behind his head, his face settled into a silly grin and his eyes became curved slits.
"Glad, I could help Obaa-chan!"
Naruto promptly ducked a sake bottle.
The End.... Fin.... you get the picture, now bugger off!!