[b]Chapter 19[/b]
Liz picked up the phone and dialed the number she had memorized.
"Hello?" The voice sounded sleepy.
"Hi, Max, did I call too early?" She said worriedly.
"No, no." He sat up trying to clear his head. Hearing her voice was not helping any.
"I'm sorry, I forget Hannah runs on a different schedule then normal people. She's usually up by six thirty." She glanced at the clock. It was a little past eight. "I can call later, so you can go back to sleep. I don't recall you being a morning person."
He liked the playful banter in her voice. She always had been a morning person.
"No, it's fine." He figured he'd might as well get used to Hannah's unusual schedule.
"I'm gonna tell her today, Max." her voice turned serious. "I'm giving her the decision if she wants to see you tomorrow." Liz said. "I know it sounds weird, but she understands more than anyone could even guess. She's really sensitive."
"Are you going to introduce me as me or a friend?"
"You, her father." Liz explained.
"Oh."
"I'll talk to her, Max, don't be hurt if she doesn't want to. It just means she wants to straighten out everything in her mind, questions, etc." Liz explained.
"I understand." Max cursed himself.
"Ok."
"Mon Papillon!" Kyle had just let himself into the house.
"Kyle!" Hannah said excited. She eagerly ran into his arms.
"Who's that?" Max asked before he could stop himself, curious of the male voice.
"A.friend." Liz said looking at Kyle who was studying her.
"I have to go." She told. "Sorry for waking you so early.
"Goodbye, Liz." She smiled.
"Goodbye, Max." She said before she could stop herself. Kyle's eyes swung to her.
"Hello, Kyle." Liz stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "What are you doing here." She said holding the door open.
"I was had to bring something from my mom to Maria and I thought I'd stop by." He shrugged and held onto Hannah. "I have a shift at ten, are you two up for breakfast?"
"Yes!" Hannah announced.
"That would be fine, but I have an appointment at eleven so we have to be back by then." Liz said grabbing her purse.
"Can do, come on Mon Papillon." He said and took Liz's hand.
****
"So, what appointment do you have at ten?" Kyle asked.
"We have to get a new 'partment." Hannah stated.
"A new apartment?" Kyle repeated. "Where at?"
"Down the hill some." Liz said hoping to drop the subject.
"Why?" There was two questions in the word. Why were they moving and why wasn't he told about it.
"I just think it was time that we had a move." Liz shrugged. She gave Kyle a look telling him not to pursue the matter.
He nodded.
"So tell me how it feels to be a kindergartener?" Kyle turned his question to Hannah.
"I start next week, Kyle." Hannah said. Her school was on year round so she started in the middle of summer.
"But you aren't in preschool so you're a kindergartener." Kyle explained.
Hannah just stared at him skeptical of what he said. "No." She shook her head ate another chicken strip. ****
"Hannah bean, come here please." Liz called from the bedroom.
"Les?" Hannah walked in and sat on the bed next to her mother. Her hair was pulled back in French braids hoping for it to crimp in the morning. She crawled under the covers.
"Did you like the new apartment?"
"Les." She nodded. "It was really close to the park too. The one with the duckies."
"Yes, very close to the duckies." Liz smiled. "So you are happy with it."
"Les. We'll be far from Grandma Amy and Grandpa Jim and everybody." She said sadly. "But they can come see us."
"Yes they can." Liz affirmed.
"Hannah, I need to tell you something, I'm gonna try to explain it to you, if you have any questions just ask, ok?" Liz looked at her daughter seriously.
"Alright." Hannah nodded her head with as much seriousness a four year old could handle.
"We're going to meet Max tomorrow."
"Max." Her whole face changed. Still there was something in her mother's voice making her weary.
"Hannah, do you know who your daddy is?" Liz pulled her onto her lap.
Hannah looked down at her hands and shook her head.
"Did you know you had a daddy?" She asked.
"Allie told me everyone has a daddy." Hannah said quietly uncomfortable with the conversation.
"Allie's right." Liz said. "Everyone has one."
"Where is he?" Hannah asked.
"Sometimes daddyies don't live with their families." Liz explained. "Sometimes they can't."
"Why?" Hannah turned and looked at her in the face.
"Certain things happen, between mommies and daddies, but not because of the children." Liz rushed to assure her.
"Where's my daddy?" Hannah asked. She was curious. She'd never asked before but since her mother brought it up there didn't seem to be any sense in avoiding it.
"You're going to meet him tomorrow?" Liz said in an unsteady breath.
"Tomorrow." Her face was a mixture of confusion. She didn't know to be happy or excited.
"Max." Liz said finally.
"Max, is my daddy?"
"Yes, sweetheart." She nodded.
"Oh." She had already met him. Once, but he hadn't acknowledged her. She wasn't so sure.
"Is that all right with you, because if you don't want to you don't have to." Liz comforted her.
Hannah hesitated. She wasn't sure. Would he like her, hate her. She squirmed a bit. Slowly she nodded.
"You sure?"
"Les." She hugged her tight and crawled under the covers. "Love you, Mommy."
"I love you too." Liz replied and kissed her forehead.
She shut the door so only a small stream of light made it's way across the floor.
She picked up the phone and dialed Max's number.
****
"Hello?" Max picked up the phone out of breath.
"Max, did I catch you at a bad time?" Liz greeted.
"No, Ella got out and I just chased her up and down three flights of stairs." He said trying to even out his breathing.
"Oh." She said. "I can call back later."
"No it's fine, just hang on a second." He put the phone down and firmly shut the door behind him. Liz heard a very firm 'stay' and a scampering of paws against the tile which indicated the dog had no regard for his master.
"Sorry about that." He apologized.
"It's fine. I just put Hannah to bed." She stated.
Max's heart still clenched at the sound of his child's name.
"How is she?" He asked.
"She's confused, Max. In her own way, I think she's hurt too." Liz told him. "I asked her if she wanted to meet you, and she's ok with it."
"Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," Liz confirmed.
"Alright." Max breathed out a nervous sigh. "Noon?"
"Yes." Liz nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Bye."
"Wait, Liz." He said quickly.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Thank you." He said quietly.
"I would say no problem, but I'm not so sure about that yet." She said. "Goodnight Max."
"Goodnight, Liz."
She hung up the phone and tried to still her rapidly beating heart. She wiped away the tears telling herself they were just from anger. But she would be lying to herself.
She slumped onto the couch next to the phone. It was hearing his voice again. Everytime he said her name it was like a warm caress. It filled an empty spot in her heart she thought she'd buried deep, telling herself it was her first love, made to be lost.
But she knew it was her first love, and most definitely going to be her last.
"Hello?" The voice sounded sleepy.
"Hi, Max, did I call too early?" She said worriedly.
"No, no." He sat up trying to clear his head. Hearing her voice was not helping any.
"I'm sorry, I forget Hannah runs on a different schedule then normal people. She's usually up by six thirty." She glanced at the clock. It was a little past eight. "I can call later, so you can go back to sleep. I don't recall you being a morning person."
He liked the playful banter in her voice. She always had been a morning person.
"No, it's fine." He figured he'd might as well get used to Hannah's unusual schedule.
"I'm gonna tell her today, Max." her voice turned serious. "I'm giving her the decision if she wants to see you tomorrow." Liz said. "I know it sounds weird, but she understands more than anyone could even guess. She's really sensitive."
"Are you going to introduce me as me or a friend?"
"You, her father." Liz explained.
"Oh."
"I'll talk to her, Max, don't be hurt if she doesn't want to. It just means she wants to straighten out everything in her mind, questions, etc." Liz explained.
"I understand." Max cursed himself.
"Ok."
"Mon Papillon!" Kyle had just let himself into the house.
"Kyle!" Hannah said excited. She eagerly ran into his arms.
"Who's that?" Max asked before he could stop himself, curious of the male voice.
"A.friend." Liz said looking at Kyle who was studying her.
"I have to go." She told. "Sorry for waking you so early.
"Goodbye, Liz." She smiled.
"Goodbye, Max." She said before she could stop herself. Kyle's eyes swung to her.
"Hello, Kyle." Liz stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "What are you doing here." She said holding the door open.
"I was had to bring something from my mom to Maria and I thought I'd stop by." He shrugged and held onto Hannah. "I have a shift at ten, are you two up for breakfast?"
"Yes!" Hannah announced.
"That would be fine, but I have an appointment at eleven so we have to be back by then." Liz said grabbing her purse.
"Can do, come on Mon Papillon." He said and took Liz's hand.
****
"So, what appointment do you have at ten?" Kyle asked.
"We have to get a new 'partment." Hannah stated.
"A new apartment?" Kyle repeated. "Where at?"
"Down the hill some." Liz said hoping to drop the subject.
"Why?" There was two questions in the word. Why were they moving and why wasn't he told about it.
"I just think it was time that we had a move." Liz shrugged. She gave Kyle a look telling him not to pursue the matter.
He nodded.
"So tell me how it feels to be a kindergartener?" Kyle turned his question to Hannah.
"I start next week, Kyle." Hannah said. Her school was on year round so she started in the middle of summer.
"But you aren't in preschool so you're a kindergartener." Kyle explained.
Hannah just stared at him skeptical of what he said. "No." She shook her head ate another chicken strip. ****
"Hannah bean, come here please." Liz called from the bedroom.
"Les?" Hannah walked in and sat on the bed next to her mother. Her hair was pulled back in French braids hoping for it to crimp in the morning. She crawled under the covers.
"Did you like the new apartment?"
"Les." She nodded. "It was really close to the park too. The one with the duckies."
"Yes, very close to the duckies." Liz smiled. "So you are happy with it."
"Les. We'll be far from Grandma Amy and Grandpa Jim and everybody." She said sadly. "But they can come see us."
"Yes they can." Liz affirmed.
"Hannah, I need to tell you something, I'm gonna try to explain it to you, if you have any questions just ask, ok?" Liz looked at her daughter seriously.
"Alright." Hannah nodded her head with as much seriousness a four year old could handle.
"We're going to meet Max tomorrow."
"Max." Her whole face changed. Still there was something in her mother's voice making her weary.
"Hannah, do you know who your daddy is?" Liz pulled her onto her lap.
Hannah looked down at her hands and shook her head.
"Did you know you had a daddy?" She asked.
"Allie told me everyone has a daddy." Hannah said quietly uncomfortable with the conversation.
"Allie's right." Liz said. "Everyone has one."
"Where is he?" Hannah asked.
"Sometimes daddyies don't live with their families." Liz explained. "Sometimes they can't."
"Why?" Hannah turned and looked at her in the face.
"Certain things happen, between mommies and daddies, but not because of the children." Liz rushed to assure her.
"Where's my daddy?" Hannah asked. She was curious. She'd never asked before but since her mother brought it up there didn't seem to be any sense in avoiding it.
"You're going to meet him tomorrow?" Liz said in an unsteady breath.
"Tomorrow." Her face was a mixture of confusion. She didn't know to be happy or excited.
"Max." Liz said finally.
"Max, is my daddy?"
"Yes, sweetheart." She nodded.
"Oh." She had already met him. Once, but he hadn't acknowledged her. She wasn't so sure.
"Is that all right with you, because if you don't want to you don't have to." Liz comforted her.
Hannah hesitated. She wasn't sure. Would he like her, hate her. She squirmed a bit. Slowly she nodded.
"You sure?"
"Les." She hugged her tight and crawled under the covers. "Love you, Mommy."
"I love you too." Liz replied and kissed her forehead.
She shut the door so only a small stream of light made it's way across the floor.
She picked up the phone and dialed Max's number.
****
"Hello?" Max picked up the phone out of breath.
"Max, did I catch you at a bad time?" Liz greeted.
"No, Ella got out and I just chased her up and down three flights of stairs." He said trying to even out his breathing.
"Oh." She said. "I can call back later."
"No it's fine, just hang on a second." He put the phone down and firmly shut the door behind him. Liz heard a very firm 'stay' and a scampering of paws against the tile which indicated the dog had no regard for his master.
"Sorry about that." He apologized.
"It's fine. I just put Hannah to bed." She stated.
Max's heart still clenched at the sound of his child's name.
"How is she?" He asked.
"She's confused, Max. In her own way, I think she's hurt too." Liz told him. "I asked her if she wanted to meet you, and she's ok with it."
"Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," Liz confirmed.
"Alright." Max breathed out a nervous sigh. "Noon?"
"Yes." Liz nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Bye."
"Wait, Liz." He said quickly.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Thank you." He said quietly.
"I would say no problem, but I'm not so sure about that yet." She said. "Goodnight Max."
"Goodnight, Liz."
She hung up the phone and tried to still her rapidly beating heart. She wiped away the tears telling herself they were just from anger. But she would be lying to herself.
She slumped onto the couch next to the phone. It was hearing his voice again. Everytime he said her name it was like a warm caress. It filled an empty spot in her heart she thought she'd buried deep, telling herself it was her first love, made to be lost.
But she knew it was her first love, and most definitely going to be her last.