CHAPTER 18

"Ardeth, you should rest"

"I will rest later, habibi. Please tell me." As he finished Ardeth let go of Ali's hand and patted the bed beside him.

"I don't want to hurt you Ardeth. I'm afraid I'll hurt your wound."

"You will not."

Ali gently moved from her cot to the edge of Ardeth's bed.

He again took her hand "Now please tell me"

Ali nodded and started to tell Ardeth the same story she had told Basel.

".....I don't know how I knew, I just....did"

Ardeth did not know what to say, what to think. Ali had been pregnant. But.....the blood in the room......Ali speaking again brought him back.

As she spoke Ali could not help but cry. "I tried to do everything they wanted." She could hear Ardeth's breathing become more labored. When she looked into his eyes she could see the anger, the rage.

"But it wasn't enough." As Ali thought about losing the baby she started to sob uncontrollably.

Ardeth reached up and wiped her tears "It is alright Kalila I am here. Tell me"

Ardeth was not prepared for the brutality of Ali's story. As she told of the night that she had lost their baby he could feel the hate and the anger building. Hatred and anger aimed at himself. He felt ill. He had done all of this by sending her away.

When Ali finished she looked at Ardeth. She did not know what to expect.

Ardeth looked at her for a brief second then turned away. He could not look into her eyes any longer.

Ali had not expected him to react like that. Was he mad at her? Mad that she had lost the baby? Ali was totally at a loss.

"I'm sorry Ardeth"

Ardeth breathed as deeply as his wound would allow. He had to get control of his emotions. "Why are you sorry, Ali?"

"I....I don't know. Because of losing the baby?"

"Almighty Allah! Why should you be sorry? I am the one who caused all of this! All of it! Ahmen being shot. You being kidnapped. All of your torture. And......the baby....." Ardeth could not say the words. "I caused it all!"

"Ardeth please calm down. It is not all your fault. It just happened. I didn't, don't belong here. I understand that. Hudson just happened upon us. You didn't know when you sent me away that he'd find me. You just.....didn't want me here, that's all" As she finished Ali looked away.

Ardeth could hear the pain in Ali's voice. Had he been wrong? Had she wanted to stay?

Reaching out he turned her face back toward his "Ali, were you happy here?"

Ali looked at him like he had lost his mind. Moving a little bit away from Ardeth she said "Yes, I was. But I understand why you wanted me to leave"

"You do?"

"Yes. I'm not of your kind. I was in the way. You ......have to find.....a Med-Jai wife and have heirs. I was just......I don't know just........something different."

"Is that what you really think?"

Now she was becoming mad "What else am I suppose to think?"

"You told me the day you left that I used you, just like Stephen and Hudson. Do you really believe that?"

"Why are we even having this discussion?" Ali squared her shoulders and spoke deliberately "I am very thankful you saved me. I know I would have died if you had not. But I also know I'm not wanted here. So now that I know you're alright, I'll leave." With that said she stood. She turned so that Ardeth could not see the pain, both physical and emotional on her face.

"Ali, do not leave"

She turned to look at him "Are you ordering me to stay?"

"No habibi, I am asking" he said quietly.

"Why?" Ali said dejected as she sat back down on her cot. "Why? You don't want me."

"I never said that kalila."

Ali looked at him "You said that us making love was wrong. You sent me away. What the hell else is that suppose to mean." As she finished she looked away.

Ardeth started to speak but a wave of pain stopped him. Ali turned back around to see why he had not answered her. "Ardeth?"

Finally he spoke slowly "I am alright."

"Yeah right. That's why you have that horrible look on your face" Ali said as she reached down and picked up the rag to wipe Ardeth's face. "You need to rest" she said as she wiped his face with the cool water.

Ardeth reached up and laid his hand over Ali's "If I do, will you stay?" Seeing the look on her face he added "At least until tomorrow?"

Ali could only nod. The feel of Ardeth's hand on hers. Finding her voice she spoke "Rest. We'll talk tomorrow"

Ardeth nodded and closed his eyes.

Ali sat there until she heard his breathing become even then she rose from his bed and slowly made her way outside. She needed to sit and think. Think about all that had happened and what she was going to do.