CHAPTER 20

"Ali? Ali?"

Ali groggily awoke from her deep sleep. Then it dawned on her Ardeth was calling for her. She sat up and turned toward him. Oh how her body still ached.

"Yes Ardeth I'm here."

Slowly he opened his eyes. As his brown ones looked into hers she felt as though he was looking into her very soul.

"You stayed"

"I said I would" she said as she scooted to the edge of her bed. Bending down to pick up a cloth to wipe his face she moaned.

"Kalila are you alright?" Ardeth said as he tried to sit up.

Straightening up Ali said "I'm okay. Really. Now lie back. You do not want to do anymore damage to your wound."

"Alright, but you should not overdo it either. You have been through a lot also". As he finished he reached out and touched her bruised cheek.

Ali closed her eyes and savored his touch. She could not hold back her tears. Opening her eyes she wiped them "I'm sorry, Ardeth"

Ardeth did not move his hand "Is everything alright Habibi?"

All Ali could do was nod. Finally getting a check on her emotions she said "If you feel like it I could help you try to eat some breakfast?"

"I would like that immensely"

"Good. I can smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen. I'll go see what Basel has prepared."

A few minutes later Ali returned with Basel behind her. Ardeth had moved himself up to a semi-sitting position.

"Ardeth Bay, what do you think you are doing?" Basel said.

"I wanted to be able to eat so I sat up" he said trying to act innocent.

Shaking her head Basel sat down two bowls "I will leave you two to your breakfast. I will return soon".

Ali sat down on the edge of Ardeth's bed "Do you think you can eat or do you need me to help you?"

She said as she picked up one of the bowls.

"I think I can manage."

"Ok, then I'll move back over here and eat."

"No stay here, if you're comfortable"

Ali just nodded and picked up her bowl.

They ate in silence. But it was not an uncomfortable silence.

After they were finished Ali stood and took the bowls back into the kitchen. When she returned she sat down on her bed. As she did Ardeth could see how hard it still was for her to move.

"Ali has Hasnew or Basel checked you for more broken bones?" As he spoke he motioned toward her arm.

"Umhuh" she said as she nodded her head. "Hasnew said a few of my ribs are more than likely broken. So Basel has wrapped me to help in their healing. She also gave me a horrible concoction to drink. It's to.......to help my body recover from......" Ali dropped her eyes toward the floor and whispered "losing the baby"

Ardeth did not know what to do. He slowly reached out and touched Ali's knee. "Kalila?" He was not prepared for the pain that he saw in Ali's eyes when she looked at him again.

"I'm so sorry Ardeth. I tried to......"Ali could not hold back her tears. Through them she finished "I tried to protect the baby. I really did." As she finished she dropped her head into her hands and cried.

Ardeth felt as though someone was ripping his heart out. "Kalila look at me please". When Ali did not look up he spoke again "Please Ali"

Finally she looked up. Ardeth patted the space beside him and Ali moved from her bed to his. Ardeth took her hand and spoke "I know you did everything humanly possible to protect our child. I am just so sorry I was not there to help you."

"Oh Ardeth" Ali sobbed. She could not have controlled her tears even if she had wanted to. The weeks of abuse, losing the baby and almost losing Ardeth had built up inside her and this was its release.

Ardeth stroked her hand and whispered "Come lay beside me so that I may hold you while you cry".

Ali shook her head "I'll hurt you."

"You will not."

Ali moved and slowly lay down beside Ardeth. She gently lay her head on his chest "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"You did not" Ardeth said as he wrapped his arms around Ali.

Eventually Ali's tears subsided. She pulled back from Ardeth a carefully raised up onto her good arm. Looking deep into his beautiful eyes she whispered "Thank you".

"For what, habibi?"

"For holding me."

"You have been through so much. I know I can not erase all that has happened but at least I can comfort you now."

For several moments they just stared at one another. Finally Ardeth spoke "Ali I am truly sorry for all that has happened. I would give my life to take it all back, but I can not".

Ali looked at Ardeth and for a moment then spoke "Ardeth you almost did give your life to protect me, to save me......"

Ardeth interrupted her "But if I had not sent you away, none of this would have ever happened".

"You did what you thought was right. You thought I would not be happy here." Ali stopped then added quietly "I now know that you were not happy when I left. But you thought you were doing what was right for me"

"How do you know this?"

"Basel and Ahmen told me"

"That is true. I did believe that you could not be happy out here in the middle of the desert. And you seemed so melancholy that night. I just assumed you were missing your old life"

Ali looked at him with a confused look on her face "what night?"

"The night before we made love. I went looking for you and Basel said you were not feeling well and were not hungry. That you seemed very down"

Ali thought back. A strange expression crossed her face "Yes I was down that night. But for exactly the opposite reason you believed"

"I do not understand"

Ali stopped for a moment. This was her chance. Basel had said that Ardeth cared for her too. This was her chance to tell him just what he meant to her. So taking a deep breath she spoke "Early that day as I was coming back from doing your wash I realized how content I was doing things like that for you. I realized how happy I was here. I realized that.......I was in love with you. But then well it struck me that even if you felt the same way...that it didn't matter."

Ardeth stared at Ali trying to take in what she had just said. She had said she was in love with him, but that it wouldn't matter. "Why would it not matter, habibi?"

"Because I had it in my head that you had to marry Med-Jai. That you could not marry anyone else. That even if you had feelings for me it didn't matter. That I could never be with you" As she finished Ali stood. She had laid her heart on the line and now all she could do was wait for Ardeth response.

Ardeth shook his head "But that is not true."

"I know that now. Ahmen and Basel told me. But I didn't know that then. I was devastated. I realized that I loved you but that I could not have you all in the same afternoon."

Ardeth slowly sat up in the bed. Ali turned to see a look of pain and concentration on his face.

"Ardeth, you should not try to get up yet"

"Then come sit beside me" he said as he eased his legs over the side of the bed.

Ali nodded and sat down beside him. Ardeth turned slowly and looked at her "I am sorry that you believed that I could not care for you. Because Kalila I do. I have found that you have stolen my heart. Basel was right. I thought I was doing the right thing. I just wanted you to be happy. I stood that night watching you nap and could not understand why you were sad. The only explanation I could think of was that you were not happy here. That you wanted to be back among your own kind. That although I wanted the chance to try to make you happy, that it could not be. That you would only be happy with another Anglo."

As Ardeth finished Ali could hear the tone of his voice change. He sounded angry. "Ardeth?" she said as she touched his arm.

He turned away from her "The thought of another man touching you made me crazy. I know I did not have a right to feel that way, but I did. I wanted to be the man to make you happy but I knew that was impossible."

Ali didn't know what to say. As she sat and thought about what Ardeth had just said a smile broke out across her face.

Ardeth turned to look at Ali again "Kalila, what are you smiling at?"

"Us, Ardeth. I'm smiling at us."

The look on Ardeth's face showed Ali that he did not understand. "Do you realize if we had just told the other how we felt that well....things would have been a lot different and a lot easier."

Ardeth looked into Ali's green eyes "Yes we should have shared our hearts with one another". Reaching out he ran his fingers across her bruised cheek "if we had you would not have suffered as you did".

Ali moved her face against Ardeth's palm "But you saved me. And now you're going to be alright. That's all that matters." As she finished Ali put her hand over Ardeth's. Then she brought it to her lips and gently kissed it.

"Kalila may I ask you something?"

"Of course"

"Were you truly happy here? Could you be happy here....with me?"

Ali looked into Ardeth's beautiful eyes "Yes. I was happy here. And yes I could be happy with you. That's all I want. Is to be able to be with you. There's no other place I'd rather be. I just can't imagine being anywhere else." As she finished she looked away.

Ardeth gently took her chin in his hand and brought her face back to his. He kissed her softly and whispered "Then stay with me, habibi. Be my wife"

Ali felt as though her heart would explode. She could not find the words she needed.

"Habibi?"

"Oh Ardeth of course I will. I love you"

"As I do you, Kalila. As I do you".