Chapter 24
The small group sat around Liz's kitchen table in her apartment.
Max looked around knowing her house would be spotless. Everything was neat and had its place, except the front room. There was an array of toys. They were splayed out across the floor as if she had made no attempt to clean it up.
Hannah was currently chatting, unaware of the tension between her parents. Liz had made them a delicious entrée of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cut into pretty little stars (no crusts of course) accompanied by a glass of milk.
Max liked it better than any of his lunches at any one of the fancy restaurants that could be found in South County.
"Natalie says that babies cry a lot, but Kailyn doesn't cry a lot." Hannah explained. "I like Kailyn."
"And who is Kailyn?" Max asked generally interested in his daughter's life. "And Natalie."
"Natalie's my best friend." Hannah said excitedly. "I met her today."
"You've known her for one day, Hannah bean, and she's already your best friend?" Liz asked smiling at her daughter's excitement.
"Yes." Hannah gave her mother a look like she was crazy. "And Kailyn," she turned to Max, "Is Grandpa Jim and Grandma Amy's new baby."
"Really?" Max asked.
"Foster baby." Liz clarified. "Although Jim and Amy really aren't that old."
"They took care of me when I was a baby." Hannah said proudly.
"Did they?" She had already told him this on Sunday, but he didn't mind hearing her say it all over again.
"Yeah, they still do, when Mommy's working." He loved the way she rolled her 'y's making them sound like 'l's.
"Natalie has lots of brother's and sisters."
"Seven of them." Liz put in.
"How come I don't?"
Max and Liz both froze. What a time to ask that question.
"Because Mommy doesn't have any other babies but you." Liz said weakly, wishing that would be enough to appease her daughter.
"Why not?"
"Because your mother's not ready for another baby right now." Max entered. "Babies take a lot of work." And next time I'll be here to help her.
"Do you have other babies?" Hannah asked Max.
"Only you." He smiled.
"Oh." It felt weird to think of herself as his. She didn't know him.
Hannah's head started to droop and Liz knew that her midday medications were starting to kick in. She hated the fact that Hannah's medications made her sleepy but she knew that they were only temporary and were necessary before she went into surgery.
"Are you tired?" Liz asked gently smoothing her hair back.
"Yeah." Hannah answered honestly. She knew she had to else her mother wouldn't believe her next time, when she really wasn't. Her mother's hand was comforting on her forehead and she suddenly felt the heavy need to be in her mother's arms. "Up."
"Alright." Liz lifted her up out of her booster seat and cradled her in her arms.
Hannah curled up even though the July air was stifling hot.
Max smiled in awe at the young girl in her mother's lap. They all three jumped when the phone rang suddenly.
Liz scooped Hannah against her as she got up to answer the phone.
"Hi, Amy." Liz answered. "Yes, she's right here, just a second."
"Hi, Grandma." Hannah said eagerly into the phone.
Max smiled over at her delight, knowing she had a close bond with the people she had grown up with.
"Amy Valenti?" Max asked.
"Yeah. She wanted to see how Hannah's day went." She smiled.
Max nodded. There was a child-size dress hanging from the bedroom doorway and Max guessed Liz was air-drying it. Everything was so homey here. Hannah was clearly comfortable.
Max looked back to Hannah when she giggled and her face lit up. "Hi, Kyle!"
Liz straightened as did Max. He relaxed his stance when Hannah let out another giggle.
"He wants to talk to you." Hannah handed Liz the phone. Liz took the phone, plopped Hannah into Max's lap and got up to go into the other room.
Max's arms automatically came up around Hannah so she would slip from his lap. It was the first time he had held his daughter in his arms. His heart beat rapidly in his chest when she looked up at him stunned.
She slid from his lap and ran over to Liz and held her pant leg. She stared at Max and looked up at her mother who was arguing softly in French with Kyle.
Max's heart dropped his daughter would hug him, talk to him, smile at him, but she wouldn't allow him to hold her.
Liz frowned down at Hannah obviously disappointed in her actions but then she remembered Hannah could be shy at times.
"Au revoir, Kyle." She said into the phone before hanging up. She picked up Hannah and went back to join Max at the table. "Sorry, they wanted to know what her first day was like."
"It's alright." Max smiled still a little hurt by Hannah's actions, yet he understood.
A little.
Hannah cuddled into Liz's lap and this time she let sleep take over as she closed her eyes and her breathing evened out.
"She sleeps easily." Max smiled.
"It's her medications." Liz said automatically. Their eyes locked. Liz knew she couldn't put it off any longer. "Let me go lay her down and I'll explain something to you."
She left the door open a little bit so she could hear her if anything happened.
"I'm going to explain something to you, Max, I need you not to interrupt, or ask questions. I did what I had to do, I don't regret any of it." Liz looked him straight in the eye.
"When I moved out here, in July of that year, I went to the clinic for a check-up, we found Hannah had an unusual heart rhythm." She picked up her plate and walked back to the sink. She scrubbed Hannah's dish and matching cup and placed them in the dish rack. "When I found out I was frantic, on the verge of calling you. But I didn't." She took a deep breath leaving out the part of being alone and frightened in a place she didn't know about.
"Then, when she was born, she had a series of holes in her heart. She was born a month early, that isn't unusual. They fixed the smaller holes in a series of surgeries. We had the bigger one fixed when she was two. Now, they have to go in and reinforce the patches they put on the heart. It's her final one, but the most dangerous."
Max sat stunned, studying the look on her face.
"We have a doctor appointment today, and he's going to provide new medications for the next three weeks. Surgery is in August. You may notice she's short of breath, from just walking across the room. That's when Kyle and I took her in again, when she was having trouble breathing."
"Oh." Kyle again.
He didn't know what to say.
"Hannah's not small because I'm small, Max. I'm short, but not that short. She can't take enough oxygen in so she doesn't grow." She smiled sadly. "She'll grow a bit better once she's totally fixed, but not much, she's destined to be small."
"There's nothing wrong with small women." Max muttered.
"Easy for you to say." Liz shot back.
"Why didn't you come to me?"
"Because the moment I left Roswell, I was done running to people. When they handed me Hannah after an emergency C-Section, I stopped being a little girl, Max, and Hannah became mine to protect and love." She said fiercely.
"Yours and Kyle's." He said before he could stop himself.
"Don't talk to me about Kyle." Not until I understand it myself.
"Fine." He left that point alone. "When exactly is her next surgery?"
"She's off-track in August and beginning so she's ready to go back to school in September, but I think they might try to push it back."
"I want to be there."
She took a deep breath beginning to deny him. She felt so helpless during her surgeries and it took all her power to keep herself under control. She didn't need him causing more pressure. Then she remembered Hannah was his daughter as well.
It felt so different having to share Hannah. But Hannah wasn't his; she was hers, and hers alone.
"I'll think about it." She said turning to the sink.
"What's there to think about?"
"Max, you weren't here for four years, you cannot expect me to relinquish my place as her sole caretaker right away. When you signed those papers she became mine alone, not ours, mine." She didn't want to bring it up; she didn't want anything to do with the custody papers she had failed to turn back into court. The ones tucked in her drawer that she was scared someone would notice were missing. She had no idea how no one had noticed they weren't there.
"Liz." It hurt. It haunted him Everytime he thought about it. "Don't."
"Don't try to take her from me." Her eyes pleaded. Suddenly all of her securities of Max not taking her suddenly fled. What if he decided he wanted them back? What could she do? She herself had not turned in the papers forfeiting any protection from the law. They won't see that she was the one that had taken care of her for four years, all they'll see is Max and the fact that he had enough money to not need help from the government. He's stable, has a steady job, and lives in a townhouse somewhere in Anaheim Hills.
He stood abruptly when her eyes filled with tears. He hated seeing her cry, he always had.
"Don't cry, Liz. I wasn't going to, please don't cry." It hurt to see tears in her eyes. Did she really think that he would take Hannah from her?
"Max, she's all I have. Don't take her away." Tears fell freely.
He crossed to her and took her in his arms before thinking. You have me too; he wanted to shout at her. I'll be here; I'm not leaving you alone again.
"Liz, I wasn't even thinking it. I just want to be a part of her life. I can see how happy she is with you. Her reliance on you is incredible. The bond you have is unbreakable. Don't worry about that, Liz." He pulled her away from him and looked her in the eye. It was so comfortable to be in each other's arms they didn't notice they were there. "Liz, Hannah's incredible. I would never dream of breaking that. Understand?"
She nodded. He pressed a kiss to her temple.
She rested her head against his shoulder. "What are we gonna do, Max?" The comfort that came from the gesture was far too soothing.
"I don't know." He breathed out. He pushed her away, gently. "I have to go." If he didn't, he was going to kiss her.
Liz straightened her spine.
"Are you going to say goodbye to Hannah?" Liz asked.
"She's asleep."
"No, she's not. Look." Liz tilted her head towards the bedroom.
Hannah was standing peering out into the room. "Come out, and say goodbye, Hannah bean."
"Bye." She said cautiously walking closer.
"Goodbye, Hannah." Max said crouching down.
"I'm glad I got to talk to you on your first day of school." He said seriously.
"Me too." She hugged him briefly.
"Goodbye, Liz." He turned to her. God he loved her and it was killing him to have to leave her and Hannah behind.
"Bye, Max. We'll call."
"Alright." He nodded.
[b]TBC[/b]
The small group sat around Liz's kitchen table in her apartment.
Max looked around knowing her house would be spotless. Everything was neat and had its place, except the front room. There was an array of toys. They were splayed out across the floor as if she had made no attempt to clean it up.
Hannah was currently chatting, unaware of the tension between her parents. Liz had made them a delicious entrée of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cut into pretty little stars (no crusts of course) accompanied by a glass of milk.
Max liked it better than any of his lunches at any one of the fancy restaurants that could be found in South County.
"Natalie says that babies cry a lot, but Kailyn doesn't cry a lot." Hannah explained. "I like Kailyn."
"And who is Kailyn?" Max asked generally interested in his daughter's life. "And Natalie."
"Natalie's my best friend." Hannah said excitedly. "I met her today."
"You've known her for one day, Hannah bean, and she's already your best friend?" Liz asked smiling at her daughter's excitement.
"Yes." Hannah gave her mother a look like she was crazy. "And Kailyn," she turned to Max, "Is Grandpa Jim and Grandma Amy's new baby."
"Really?" Max asked.
"Foster baby." Liz clarified. "Although Jim and Amy really aren't that old."
"They took care of me when I was a baby." Hannah said proudly.
"Did they?" She had already told him this on Sunday, but he didn't mind hearing her say it all over again.
"Yeah, they still do, when Mommy's working." He loved the way she rolled her 'y's making them sound like 'l's.
"Natalie has lots of brother's and sisters."
"Seven of them." Liz put in.
"How come I don't?"
Max and Liz both froze. What a time to ask that question.
"Because Mommy doesn't have any other babies but you." Liz said weakly, wishing that would be enough to appease her daughter.
"Why not?"
"Because your mother's not ready for another baby right now." Max entered. "Babies take a lot of work." And next time I'll be here to help her.
"Do you have other babies?" Hannah asked Max.
"Only you." He smiled.
"Oh." It felt weird to think of herself as his. She didn't know him.
Hannah's head started to droop and Liz knew that her midday medications were starting to kick in. She hated the fact that Hannah's medications made her sleepy but she knew that they were only temporary and were necessary before she went into surgery.
"Are you tired?" Liz asked gently smoothing her hair back.
"Yeah." Hannah answered honestly. She knew she had to else her mother wouldn't believe her next time, when she really wasn't. Her mother's hand was comforting on her forehead and she suddenly felt the heavy need to be in her mother's arms. "Up."
"Alright." Liz lifted her up out of her booster seat and cradled her in her arms.
Hannah curled up even though the July air was stifling hot.
Max smiled in awe at the young girl in her mother's lap. They all three jumped when the phone rang suddenly.
Liz scooped Hannah against her as she got up to answer the phone.
"Hi, Amy." Liz answered. "Yes, she's right here, just a second."
"Hi, Grandma." Hannah said eagerly into the phone.
Max smiled over at her delight, knowing she had a close bond with the people she had grown up with.
"Amy Valenti?" Max asked.
"Yeah. She wanted to see how Hannah's day went." She smiled.
Max nodded. There was a child-size dress hanging from the bedroom doorway and Max guessed Liz was air-drying it. Everything was so homey here. Hannah was clearly comfortable.
Max looked back to Hannah when she giggled and her face lit up. "Hi, Kyle!"
Liz straightened as did Max. He relaxed his stance when Hannah let out another giggle.
"He wants to talk to you." Hannah handed Liz the phone. Liz took the phone, plopped Hannah into Max's lap and got up to go into the other room.
Max's arms automatically came up around Hannah so she would slip from his lap. It was the first time he had held his daughter in his arms. His heart beat rapidly in his chest when she looked up at him stunned.
She slid from his lap and ran over to Liz and held her pant leg. She stared at Max and looked up at her mother who was arguing softly in French with Kyle.
Max's heart dropped his daughter would hug him, talk to him, smile at him, but she wouldn't allow him to hold her.
Liz frowned down at Hannah obviously disappointed in her actions but then she remembered Hannah could be shy at times.
"Au revoir, Kyle." She said into the phone before hanging up. She picked up Hannah and went back to join Max at the table. "Sorry, they wanted to know what her first day was like."
"It's alright." Max smiled still a little hurt by Hannah's actions, yet he understood.
A little.
Hannah cuddled into Liz's lap and this time she let sleep take over as she closed her eyes and her breathing evened out.
"She sleeps easily." Max smiled.
"It's her medications." Liz said automatically. Their eyes locked. Liz knew she couldn't put it off any longer. "Let me go lay her down and I'll explain something to you."
She left the door open a little bit so she could hear her if anything happened.
"I'm going to explain something to you, Max, I need you not to interrupt, or ask questions. I did what I had to do, I don't regret any of it." Liz looked him straight in the eye.
"When I moved out here, in July of that year, I went to the clinic for a check-up, we found Hannah had an unusual heart rhythm." She picked up her plate and walked back to the sink. She scrubbed Hannah's dish and matching cup and placed them in the dish rack. "When I found out I was frantic, on the verge of calling you. But I didn't." She took a deep breath leaving out the part of being alone and frightened in a place she didn't know about.
"Then, when she was born, she had a series of holes in her heart. She was born a month early, that isn't unusual. They fixed the smaller holes in a series of surgeries. We had the bigger one fixed when she was two. Now, they have to go in and reinforce the patches they put on the heart. It's her final one, but the most dangerous."
Max sat stunned, studying the look on her face.
"We have a doctor appointment today, and he's going to provide new medications for the next three weeks. Surgery is in August. You may notice she's short of breath, from just walking across the room. That's when Kyle and I took her in again, when she was having trouble breathing."
"Oh." Kyle again.
He didn't know what to say.
"Hannah's not small because I'm small, Max. I'm short, but not that short. She can't take enough oxygen in so she doesn't grow." She smiled sadly. "She'll grow a bit better once she's totally fixed, but not much, she's destined to be small."
"There's nothing wrong with small women." Max muttered.
"Easy for you to say." Liz shot back.
"Why didn't you come to me?"
"Because the moment I left Roswell, I was done running to people. When they handed me Hannah after an emergency C-Section, I stopped being a little girl, Max, and Hannah became mine to protect and love." She said fiercely.
"Yours and Kyle's." He said before he could stop himself.
"Don't talk to me about Kyle." Not until I understand it myself.
"Fine." He left that point alone. "When exactly is her next surgery?"
"She's off-track in August and beginning so she's ready to go back to school in September, but I think they might try to push it back."
"I want to be there."
She took a deep breath beginning to deny him. She felt so helpless during her surgeries and it took all her power to keep herself under control. She didn't need him causing more pressure. Then she remembered Hannah was his daughter as well.
It felt so different having to share Hannah. But Hannah wasn't his; she was hers, and hers alone.
"I'll think about it." She said turning to the sink.
"What's there to think about?"
"Max, you weren't here for four years, you cannot expect me to relinquish my place as her sole caretaker right away. When you signed those papers she became mine alone, not ours, mine." She didn't want to bring it up; she didn't want anything to do with the custody papers she had failed to turn back into court. The ones tucked in her drawer that she was scared someone would notice were missing. She had no idea how no one had noticed they weren't there.
"Liz." It hurt. It haunted him Everytime he thought about it. "Don't."
"Don't try to take her from me." Her eyes pleaded. Suddenly all of her securities of Max not taking her suddenly fled. What if he decided he wanted them back? What could she do? She herself had not turned in the papers forfeiting any protection from the law. They won't see that she was the one that had taken care of her for four years, all they'll see is Max and the fact that he had enough money to not need help from the government. He's stable, has a steady job, and lives in a townhouse somewhere in Anaheim Hills.
He stood abruptly when her eyes filled with tears. He hated seeing her cry, he always had.
"Don't cry, Liz. I wasn't going to, please don't cry." It hurt to see tears in her eyes. Did she really think that he would take Hannah from her?
"Max, she's all I have. Don't take her away." Tears fell freely.
He crossed to her and took her in his arms before thinking. You have me too; he wanted to shout at her. I'll be here; I'm not leaving you alone again.
"Liz, I wasn't even thinking it. I just want to be a part of her life. I can see how happy she is with you. Her reliance on you is incredible. The bond you have is unbreakable. Don't worry about that, Liz." He pulled her away from him and looked her in the eye. It was so comfortable to be in each other's arms they didn't notice they were there. "Liz, Hannah's incredible. I would never dream of breaking that. Understand?"
She nodded. He pressed a kiss to her temple.
She rested her head against his shoulder. "What are we gonna do, Max?" The comfort that came from the gesture was far too soothing.
"I don't know." He breathed out. He pushed her away, gently. "I have to go." If he didn't, he was going to kiss her.
Liz straightened her spine.
"Are you going to say goodbye to Hannah?" Liz asked.
"She's asleep."
"No, she's not. Look." Liz tilted her head towards the bedroom.
Hannah was standing peering out into the room. "Come out, and say goodbye, Hannah bean."
"Bye." She said cautiously walking closer.
"Goodbye, Hannah." Max said crouching down.
"I'm glad I got to talk to you on your first day of school." He said seriously.
"Me too." She hugged him briefly.
"Goodbye, Liz." He turned to her. God he loved her and it was killing him to have to leave her and Hannah behind.
"Bye, Max. We'll call."
"Alright." He nodded.
[b]TBC[/b]