Chapter 27

Pacing the hospital floor was something Max was quickly learning he disliked.

Liz sat in a chair not far from where he was pacing.

"Max, sit down, it doesn't help to pace."

"Something must help, Liz." He had watched Hannah's pale face, that morning. She had silently rubbed her face into Liz's shirt, trying to keep her mind off her hunger. She had looked the other way when the MA had stuck her with the shot to make her droopy before taking her back to the operating room.

She had said nothing but a simple, "Love you, Mommy." Before she had been laid on the hospital bed that was way too big for her.

Max wanted to scream at these people.

"Max, sit down." She ordered. "I don't need you to make the waiting worse."

Max stopped and sat next to her. She had been in there for more than an hour. How did Liz just sit there?"

"How do you do it, Liz?" He asked.

"A mother's gotta do what mother's gotta do." She attempted a small smile.

"Do you want any coffee or anything?" Max asked, it was torture to be just standing here.

"Sure." She nodded. She wouldn't drink it.

Max got up to hunt down coffee.

A moment after he left, Kyle strode into the room. "How are we doing?"

"She went in right on time." Liz said, not as comforted by his presence as she normally was—although it seemed that it had always been somebody else's comfort she wanted anyway.

"I'm sorry, they called me in, I was planning on being here." Kyle apologized. "I didn't want you to be here alone."

"She's not alone." Max stood behind them. Neither Kyle nor Liz had realized the fact that he had approach them.

"I thought you were going to get coffee." Liz asked.

"I changed my mind." He had seen Kyle walking in and had decided to come back.

"Max." Liz said looking at him.

He raised his eyebrows and crossed his chest signifying he wasn't going anywhere.

Liz sat cross legged looking down at her hands in her lap praying they wouldn't start anything here. Max normally wasn't the kind that made scenes, but she also didn't know if he'd changed.

Kyle sat down next to Liz, took her hand whispered something in her ear.

Insanely, and unjustly jealous Max sat down on the other side of her and asked her a question. Looking at both of them, not knowing whom to give her attention to, Liz stood up and glared at both men.

"Will you two knock it off?" She tried to keep her voice down. "My baby girl is in there having surgery and you two are fighting over me. Stop it! If you can't behave and just sit here and wait with me, put whatever is between us away for just three more hours, then I don't want you here."

"Sorry." They both mumbled.

She felt for both of them, Kyle who had been so used to being the one there, and Max not ever being there, barely able to know what to do with himself.

"Thank you." She sat down again, folded her arms and fixed her eyes on the door.

"Miss Parker, will you come in with me please?" The doctor opened the door to his office.

Max stood with Liz and followed her into the room. She looked even paler than she had that morning.

"Umm, sir?" The doctor asked.

"It's alright." Liz told him and took his hand.

"Oh." The doctor looked at Max and recognition dawned on him. "Of course."

They sat and Max wondered how Liz had done this on his own. Even with Liz there, he wasn't sure how to deal with this.

"Where's Kyle today?" The doctor asked.

"He had to work." So she hadn't been alone.

"Well, let's get started." The doctor opened his folder and looked back up. "Surgery went well."

Liz breathed easier and she folded her hands in her lap as she tended to do when she was nervous.

"But..."

Oh God.

"The valve we replaced will need to be refitted when she turns ten. Once she stops growing we can put one in that will last the rest of her life. But while she's growing it will have to keep being replaced. Luckily with all the modern technology the valves are becoming nicer and nicer, and are capable of growing with the child."

Liz nodded understanding. "When can we see her?"

"She's been moved to the ICU." He told her.

"But why, she's never been sent there before." Liz leaned forward.

"Although Hannah appeared healthy when she went into surgery, there were minor complications. Her lungs didn't hold up as well as we were expecting and it looked like the beginning of pneumonia."

"Pneumonia in the middle of summer?" Max raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, Max, it's always a possibility with heart patients, a simple cold could turn into the worst respiratory diseases." Liz stated matter of factly. It had never happened before and Liz considered herself lucky that Hannah hadn't gotten it when she was younger.

"She didn't have a cold." Liz shook her head.

"I know, but she has started school and kids pass bugs to each other there. Its good thing we caught it, but bad that we caught it during surgery. We'll keep her here until she's completely healed. When does she go back to school?"

"September, she has August off."

"Perfect. She'll be fine; they just want to keep an eye on her for the first few days in ICU. If you want, I'll take you to her."

"Please."

As many times as Liz had seen her daughter in a hospital bed it was not something that she ever got used to. This time there were tubes coming to and from her chest and IV's coming from bother her hands and arms.

She stopped in the doorway and collected herself. Max was behind her. She turned to him, tears in her eyes.

"Max, I've done this so many times but I never get used to it, and I've never seen her this bad." She looked up at him and grabbed his shirt. "Are you sure you're ready to do this. She's not going to be her regular cheerful Hannah."

"I know, Liz." He took her hand, it was freezing. "I know, we'll do this together. You don't have to do it alone anymore."

"Alright." Allowing him to take her hand, she took a deep breath. "Let's go."

The room buzzed with monitors for everything, the steady sound of her heart beating was a comfort in the room. A heavy plastic curtain surrounded the bed, made for small children and keeping out disease.

"Hannah bean." Liz called to her daughter as she walked up to the bed.

She didn't stir. Liz was prepared to wait off the effects of the drugs.

She felt Max's quick intake of breath and turned to him. "What do we do now?"

"We wait." Liz said. She pulled the chair over and pushed him into it. "It could be five minutes, it could be a half hour, but we sit here and wait."

He pulled her to him. "You're so brave, Lizzie."

She sank down on his lap, relishing his childhood nickname for her, ready to lend him some of her fears, as well as gain some support. "I told you before."

"A mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do." Max filled in for her. "Well, I've gotta do what I've gotta do too, and I'm gonna help you. How many times have you done this?"

"Four." Liz said. "I think the only happy time I've had in a hospital was right when Hannah was born."

"I wish I would have been there."

"You weren't, no use dwelling on it." Liz said shortly. "Hannah, Hannah bean, wake up." She called lovingly. Hannah stirred but settled back down into sleep.

She stretched, yawned and looked around. Fear entered her eyes when she didn't immediately see Liz. "Mommy." Cough.

"I'm here, Hannah bean." Liz slid off of Max's lap. "Max, will you go tell the nurse that she's awake?"

Max nodded and left them alone together.

"Alright, let's see how we're doing." The nurse entered the room. Liz was standing over the bed where Hannah was laying.

Max went over and stood next to Liz. "Hi, Hannah."

"Hi." She smiled at him, but it wasn't the usual warm one. Her face was pale her hair messy, every move she made looked like it caused her pain.

"Quite a battle scar you're gonna have." He said.

She nodded and rolled over onto her side. "You can go ahead and lift the cover." The nurse said.

Carefully hanging up the curtain, and tying it in place, Liz reached out to grab Hannah's hand.

She looked like she wanted to say something, but Liz hushed her.

She coughed, her face turned into a grimace and her eyes filled with tears as she felt the pain. "Mommy." She reached for her. Liz soothed her hair cooing words

Max felt like an intruder but at the same time didn't want to leave the two of them alone.

"Here, let her lay down for a few minutes." The nurse told Liz, and Liz sat her back on the bed. "I have to take some blood and things, it would be best if you waited outside." She told them.

"Can't we stay with Hannah?" Max asked stepping forward.

"No, it'd be best if you and your wife would kindly step outside." The nurse said with a bit of force in her voice.

"But." Max stepped forward.

"Come on, Max." Liz just pushed him backward and out the door. When the door shut she turned to him. "Sometimes, it's best if we don't argue with the nurses." She said.

"She called you my wife." Max said, pulling her to him. He hoisted her a bit so she could see into the window in the door and see what the nurse was doing to Hannah.

"She did." Liz wasn't really paying attention her full focus was Hannah.

"Excuse me, sir. Due to hospital protocol, I need you and your wife to wait in the waiting area." Another nurse told them.

"Sorry." Max apologized and pulled Liz with him to the waiting room. "She did too."

"Yeah, that's going to be concluded a lot." She said absently. The last place she wanted to be was the waiting room. "I don't want to be here again, Max."

"Well." He said looking around. This was all new to him. He looked at her pale face and the tired look in her face. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Last night sometime, I couldn't eat with Hannah this morning." She shrugged.

"Let's go down and find something." He pulled her up. "Come on, the nurse said forty five minutes to an hour."

"Alright." She stood. "I guess it wouldn't hurt."

The cafeteria food wasn't all that horrible but Liz didn't eat it anyway. "Liz, you need to eat." Max said.

"I'm not very hungry."

"I will not allow you back upstairs to visit Hannah if you do not eat what is on that plate." He said.

Liz raised a single eyebrow at him in question, but the look on his face told her he was very serious.

She finished what was on her plate, grudgingly and wondered if she was going to be able to keep any of it down. Glaring at Max she looked at her watch.

"I should call everyone and tell them what's going on." She stood and headed outside. "You don't have to stay, Max, now that she's out, I'll be alright by myself."

"No, I'm staying." He stood up with her. "We'll go outside and you can use my cell phone and get some fresh air."

"I have my own cell, only for emergencies, but I'll use it now." She stepped outside. She was tired and wanted nothing more just to curl up, at home in bed with Hannah.

Liz made the phone call and explained to Amy about everything. She refused Amy's offer to come and be with her as well. After suggesting a visit in a few days, Liz hung up the phone.

"I guess Kyle's still here." Liz said. "Amy said she'll call and tell him just to go home since he wouldn't be able to see her anyway."

Good idea, Max thought to himself. "We should be allowed in to see Hannah now."

"Yes, we should." Liz headed for the elevator.

Hannah was sleeping when they got to her room. Her breathing a heavy wheeze, interrupted by coughs barely strong enough to do her any good.

Tears filled Liz's eyes as she sank into a chair. "Max, she's so weak."

"She's strong, Liz, she'll fight it." Max stared helplessly at his daughter on the bed and down to Liz. "Why don't you tell me about her, more, I want to know our daughter like you do, Liz." He said.

Pulling her out of the chair and sitting in it himself, he pulled Liz down on his lap.

"She sat up at six months." She told him. "She crawled at nine, and walked at ten. She crawled and was anxious to walk right away."

"Her first word was Alex, she speaks French as fluently as any French four- year-old. She goes to year-around school and is on Track C. Her favorite color is purple and she still sleeps with an empty bottle at night."

"She's brilliant." Max said taking Liz's face in his hands.

"You weren't there!" Liz said in a controlled voice. She never had a hard time controlling her emotions, except when Max was around. "You weren't there! How could you know, Max."

"Liz," He kissed her tears away. "Liz, tell me. Tell me what it was like for you."

"You weren't there when the doctor told me she had a heart murmur, you weren't there when the doctor told me about the surgeries, you weren't there when I found out she would develop slower due to hospitalization time. But she didn't, but you wouldn't know that would you? She can tie her own shoes and she can say the alphabet, English and French. Max if you had been there you would know."

Then she spoke the words that had been hanging over their head for four years. "And you know what scares me, Max, the most?" She asked him. "The fact that if you would have been here, if I would have stayed with you, we wouldn't even have her. We wouldn't know, and our baby would be out there wondering if her real parents loved her."

That stung. Max swallowed hard, knowing it was true. He sat still for a minute collected his thoughts, then he spoke carefully, deliberately choosing every word.

"If you would have told me, you know I would have been here in a second. If you would have told me, I would know her first word, I would have heard the doctor tell you there was something wrong with Hannah's heart, you never told me. And if you never told me, how was I supposed to know?"

Liz let that sink in as well. She knew he was right.

"Alright, so we were both in the wrong." She said. "Now we're here, both of us, our daughter is that hospital bed, and we're arguing about the past. Let's let it drop for now."

"I'm willing." They both had something to chew on, but Liz was still in his lap. He tightened his arms around her. She rubbed her head into his chest an action that echoed Hannah's earlier attempts for comfort, and Max let out a sigh of relief. They both knew what the other felt, now all they needed was for Hannah to get well and all would be good. Well, they would wait to discuss it until Hannah was better.

Hannah blinked her eyes open. The pain in her chest was down to a dull throb but when she took a breath it was piercing. She wanted her mommy. Looking around, she found her sleeping, in her father's arms.

That was something to see.

"Mommy." Hannah called softly. It hurt to do anything more. Her voice was hoarse, and knew that she wouldn't gain the full use of it for a while.

Max moved his head when he heard Hannah's call. He turned and looked her in the eye. Hannah decided that he would have to do.

"Daddy."

Max's breath stopped. Had she just called him Daddy? His whole body tensed up and he looked at his daughter, waiting to see if she'd say it again. Liz stirred when she felt Max tighten. She opened her eyes and met Hannah's gaze swiftly filling with tears.

"Mommy." She said and she let the tears fall.

Max chalked it up to his imagination wanting to hear something desperately, and decided the best thing he could do was forget it ever happened—or thought that it happened—and go back to being strong for Liz.

A week later, Hannah was out of the ICU but she was still in the hospital.

Max had been there during the days and worked from his laptop, if possible. Liz insisted he return home at night. He had argued about it more than once with her but had lost. In the end every night at eight o'clock Liz would send him out the door.

Liz went home during the times the nurse kicked her out of the room to run tests.

Hannah was well enough to be out of the ICU but not well enough to join the other children in the ward. She was placed in a private room, and no more than three people were allowed to visit her at a time.

She rolled over on her side as Liz told her a story. She giggled softly as she read about some fantasy world. She looked up towards the door when she heard the childish laughter coming in from outside wanting to be with the other children. She loved her family but she wanted to play with someone her own age. Max looked up from his laptop and saw her wishful eyes. Just then a nurse walked in.

"Alright, Miss Hannah and I get to go down for some X-Rays, to see how the pneumonia's doing." She said. Liz lifted her from the bed and sat her in the tiny wheelchair as the nurse situated the two IV's that were left in her arm.

Liz kissed Hannah goodbye and Max waved as the nurse wheeled her out. "Well, I guess that means I get to go home and change." Liz said shrugging. "Want to come?"

She didn't feel like being alone and Max had nothing better to do with his time. "Why not?"

They walked into the apartment and Max set his stuff on the table. Liz went to the phone to pay back messages. There were only two.

"Hi, Liz, this is Amy, just wanted to let you know that Kailyn's social worker called and it looks like we're going to have the little sweetcakes for a few more months. Looks like mom fell back a little. Are you sure you're not interested in adopting her? It's starting to look like that's where she's headed. Give Hannah my love. Goodbye."

Liz didn't know whether to be sad or happy at that message. It would make it worse for the separation from Kailyn, but Liz wasn't a big fan of her mother either. She cleared the message and pushed the next button.

"Hi this is Hannah," Natalie's childish voice came through the speaker. "Mommy and Daddy say you're still in the hospital but if I left you a message your mommy would give it to you. Hi, Ms. Parker!" She said enthusiastically. "Hannah, I wanted to tell you that I miss you, and that Mommy had her baby. It's a girl and her name is Francesca Hope. Daddy says she looks just like I did, but I sure hope not because she's so wrinkly, like my skin after a bath. Maybe you'll call me back later. Bye!" There was a defined "done" before the phone hung up.

Max smiled at the phone at the childish exuberance of his daughter's best friend.

"That girl has so much energy." Liz smiled. "Go ahead and set up your laptop there's a plug there." Liz pointed out. "I shouldn't be more than twenty minutes."

"Take your time."

The house was once again clean, this time there were no more moving boxes, and Max knew it was because of the money that he had given her. He knew he should tell her sometime that the money was his, but he didn't know when that would be a good time. Now definantly was not.

Max heard the shower start and tried to take his mind off the woman in the shower. Curious about the place his love and daughter lived, he stood up and looked around. There were candid pictures of Hannah everywhere. Baby pictures, toddler pictures. A picture of Hannah at some sort of ballet school. That was new, he hadn't known she took ballet.

Something else he had missed while he had stayed away.

Going back to his laptop Max started his work again. He couldn't or wouldn't focus on his work. He heard the shower shut off and few moments later the blow dryer start up.

He replayed Natalie's message. Natalie. Maybe that would make Hannah happier. Sure she looked and acted happy but the twinkle in her eyes had been gone. He remembered her idle remarks about Natalie about every other minute, or her look when she watched the other kids playing in the hallways outside.

"Liz!" He called.

"Yeah?" She walked to her bedroom door and kicked it open. She brushed her hair underneath so she could collect it in a half ponytail.

"How old do you have to be to visit someone in the children's ward?"

"Twelve, why?" She swept her hair up easily. Then sitting her brush down on the table beside him she tied her hair up.

The brush next to his work, her scent drifting to him as she played with her hair was to intimate for Max to think clearly. Just a simple conversation but the intimacy of her doing her hair, her scent, him casually doing his work and the two of them conversing about the well-being of their child got to him.

"Just wondering." He shrugged his shoulders.

"I've never asked you before, Max, but what kind of law do you do?" She said looking at the screen.

"Family." He said.

"Oh, so you deal with kids in the foster system."

"Yeah, I get a lot of those." He nodded. Her head was level with is. "Is Kyle working today?"

"Yes, why?" Her suspicions rose.

"No, reason." He shrugged it off. "Are you still with him?"

"I'm not really sure, why do you want to know?"

"So that when I kiss you right now, I'll know if I'm kissing somebody's girlfriend."

She didn't have time to register his words before he swooped in and kissed her for the first time in five years.

Liz stood frozen, not responding, in shock. Then when she opened her mouth to protest Max plundered her mouth. She surrendered and sank down into his lap, pulling him closer. Taking her sign Max pulled her tight against him and deepened the kiss. They stopped only when breathing became a necessity.

"Max, you—you can't do that." Liz shook her head, trying to clear it. "We're just a little confused, you know, from all the stuff with Hannah, you know. They say people do crazy things during hard times." She told him trying to back away.

"No, I've been wanting to do that for a long time." Max shook his head. "I only now got the courage."

Liz couldn't admit that she had wanted it too, just as badly. "Well, I suggest you don't do it again." She stood and went to the door. "It's time we leave."

I just got here and I realized that I didn't post this before I left. I'm so sorry! I'm going leave for Europe again in a few days, but hopefully I'll have the next part of this up by then. I can't believe I forgot to post this over here. I even have it in my document manager and everything, just slipped my mind. Sorry.