Chapter Ten: Gomen
Light crept silently across the room as the sun rose outside meaning her eyes had to slowly adapt to the change. The scenery was unfamiliar as well. As she started to be able to focus on a plain room, filled with minimum furniture, she was suddenly hit by an immense throbbing pain that took over her head.
"Konabe!" Kima rushed over to the young girl's bedside and took her hands. "Please try and rest. The doctor will be back soon, just lay down till then, ok?" Lay back down, Sakura nodded to reassure the girl in front of her. She was vaguely familiar, but Sakura could not register how she knew her.
Looking around more clearly now, she was sure that she was in a hospital. The smell was undeniable, and it would also explain the whiteness of the place. But why was she here?
"Master Li?"
Wei stood in the doorway of the library calling to the young man of the house. Syaoran looked up without responding, hoping it was some news of Sakura. She had fainted over three weeks ago now and had been unconscious ever since. He had managed to sneak out to see her once, but the sight to him was unbearable. There were tubes going into her arm to feed the drip, a mask to provide oxygen and even the monotone beep coming from the heart monitor, but these weren't what Syaoran couldn't stand. It was the lifeless body that lay there, day after day, with her skin grower paler as her body gradually got even skinnier.
How had he failed to notice how much she had withered away before? If only he hadn't tried to avoid her. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, to save her any pain once his mother had forced him to marry someone she found suitable. That was his duty. How could he go against it?
"There is a phone call for you."
Syaoran stood up and followed Wei to the hallway phone, each movement watched closely by Lady Yelan. She had seen the way her son had reacted when the girl had first arrived and had warned him not to get attached. Now he seemed relatively unmoved by her accident, but Yelan knew him better than that, she knew how well he could cover his emotions.
~~*~~
The phone call had been from the hospital as Sakura had finally woken. Making his excuses, he had left straight away. It was understandable as she was his geisha, so he would be paying the medical bill. He used these reason to allow his visit. Relief had taken over his body, making it slightly harder than usual to keep his cold exterior about him, but he managed. In his head however, there were images playing over and over, showing Sakura well again, and the smiling face she would greet him with. The sight he met however was not what he expected. Looking through the window into her room, he saw her fail body barely managing to hold itself in a sitting position. She wasn't as pale as the last time he had seen her, but it would take a while for her to be the girl he used to know. Then it hit him. Her eyes were starring directly at him, but they were completely emotionless.
"She has slight memory loss" He recalled the phone call.
Could she not recognise him? His heart sank as he realised it was true.
"Maybe I deserved this after how I treated her. Then again, maybe it's for the best this way. By bringing her into my life, I could only bring her more pain, especially if her feelings were as strong as my own. How could I have been so selfish? Did I really believe it would sort itself into a fairytale ending? How could I be so arrogant?"
Turning quickly on his back heel, he swiftly left the building.
The doctor had checked her over, and apart from the obvious memory loss, and extreme weight loss, Sakura was given the all clear. She would still be in the hospital for a few weeks yet, to get her weight back up, and to run a few memory exercises, but it could have been a lot worse. Everyone knew this but dared to mention it.
As the doctor talked to her and Kima about the different tests she would undergo, Sakura's mind started to wonder, and her eyes with it, until she realised she was staring at a figure that was looking in through the glass window. Jogging her back to reality, she quickly looked back to the doctor to make sure he hadn't noticed how impolite she had just been by not paying attention. She had to look back though. Why was he looking at her so intensely? So longingly? Did she know him? Her eyes darted to the window as soon as she thought she could take a glimpse without being noticed, but he had already left. Wearily she continued to listen to the conversation in front of her.
Daily, many of her old friends from the teahouse visited and retold tales of her past to try to help her remember, and fill the blank space in her mind. Most if it triggered something. She had managed to recall most of the faces that visited her, even though the events they talked about seemed like only tales to her mind. There was only one person that hadn't been lost from her mind, and that was the person who had just arrived and stood in the doorway to Sakura's room.
"Tomoyo!!" Sakura sat up straight away, having gained her strength over the few weeks she had been hospitalised and was soon allowed to leave. The only problem left was where see would go 'home' to? She had no recollection of the Li household and people hadn't pushed her to remember, instead she only talked of the teahouse like she had never left.
"Tomoyo, I've missed you. How have you been, I was getting worried. I asked after you but none of my friends seemed to recall you."
Timidly Tomoyo entered the room. She had been excited to see her friend, but she had been sent here for a reason. Eriol's words ran in her ears with a sense of urgency.
"Please find out what she remembers of him. I think he's giving up on her."
Gently placing herself next to Sakura on the bed she forced a smile onto her face, trying to hide how anxious she really was. The outcome of the conversation would change the outcome of Sakura's future.
"What do you mean worried about me, I was worried about you! I've been told you've made a full recovery." Some part of Tomoyo felt guilty that she hadn't persisted Sakura more about her lack of eating.
"How come none of my friends remember you? You're not from the tea house, you can't be. Then how do I know you? I remember everything about you, except that." Sakura winced as confusion clouded her mind once again. It was frustrating that all her memories had gaps.
"Do you remember where we met?" Tomoyo asked.
"Completely. I remember everything about the room, as it was the most elegant place I've ever been. I can't believe I was actually there at all."
"But why were you there?" Tomoyo wanted more, she wanted Sakura to remember. Not only for him, and also not only for her own personal selfishness of not wanting to loss a friend, but also for Sakura. She had talked about Syaoran with such admiration when she had arrived at the Li household. It was with such strong emotions that her eyes spoke, wanting to shout to the world her feelings for the one she had found.
"If I lost Eriol..." It was a thought Tomoyo had always pushed to the back of her mind, but now it plagued her. "...I don't know what I would do."
"Tomoyo, why are you asking me these things? I'm sorry I can't remember the answers just yet, but if you help me, I'm sure I can recall everything. Will you help me?"
This was something Tomoyo had been ordered against. "Not today Sakura. I will come back to visit you soon, we can talk then and see if you have remembered any more." Hiding her face from the confused girl, Tomoyo placed a card on Sakura's lap before leaving the room. She felt awful having to leave having only given a get well card. She could have done so much more for her, and it was these thoughts that rotated around and around in her head:
"The feeling you have when you love someone is so precious that it should never be lost. I'm sorry I could not return you feeling to you. I'm sorry I could not remind you of him."
Syaoran was in the hall way with the owner of the teahouse as Tomoyo stepped out of the room and stopped by the two. It was ill mannered of her to keep her eyes to the ground, but she could not bring herself to meet Syaoran's gaze. Instead, her head hung low as she slightly shook her head.
"It's settled then. Saku... I mean Konabe will return to the teahouse."
Syaoran's statement shocked them both, but he continued before they could say a word.
"There will, however, be some conditions upon her return. There will be no mention of what happened to her with the Li household, or of my name. Tomoyo, you may visit her, but make an excuse of how you met elsewhere. Also, she will only perform, and have no guests that stay with her. These are my conditions."
"Master Li..."
"Of course I will pay for everything – her hospital bills, education, food and clothing, and anything else she needs. I want her to have the best there is, and no less. I will make sure you have the funds needed to make all that possible. And if one day she remem... no, that is all."
One of the ladies went to bow while the other suddenly could not hold back her feelings.
"What are you doing!?!" Tomoyo practically shouted. "How can you do this to her? How can you just walk off and leave her!!" Tears started to form in her eyes as the first lady placed an arm around her to try and calm her down.
Syaoran, however, did not even turn to look back at her as he quietly stated, "Gomen Tomoyo. It's for the best."
Then he was gone.
Light crept silently across the room as the sun rose outside meaning her eyes had to slowly adapt to the change. The scenery was unfamiliar as well. As she started to be able to focus on a plain room, filled with minimum furniture, she was suddenly hit by an immense throbbing pain that took over her head.
"Konabe!" Kima rushed over to the young girl's bedside and took her hands. "Please try and rest. The doctor will be back soon, just lay down till then, ok?" Lay back down, Sakura nodded to reassure the girl in front of her. She was vaguely familiar, but Sakura could not register how she knew her.
Looking around more clearly now, she was sure that she was in a hospital. The smell was undeniable, and it would also explain the whiteness of the place. But why was she here?
"Master Li?"
Wei stood in the doorway of the library calling to the young man of the house. Syaoran looked up without responding, hoping it was some news of Sakura. She had fainted over three weeks ago now and had been unconscious ever since. He had managed to sneak out to see her once, but the sight to him was unbearable. There were tubes going into her arm to feed the drip, a mask to provide oxygen and even the monotone beep coming from the heart monitor, but these weren't what Syaoran couldn't stand. It was the lifeless body that lay there, day after day, with her skin grower paler as her body gradually got even skinnier.
How had he failed to notice how much she had withered away before? If only he hadn't tried to avoid her. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do, to save her any pain once his mother had forced him to marry someone she found suitable. That was his duty. How could he go against it?
"There is a phone call for you."
Syaoran stood up and followed Wei to the hallway phone, each movement watched closely by Lady Yelan. She had seen the way her son had reacted when the girl had first arrived and had warned him not to get attached. Now he seemed relatively unmoved by her accident, but Yelan knew him better than that, she knew how well he could cover his emotions.
~~*~~
The phone call had been from the hospital as Sakura had finally woken. Making his excuses, he had left straight away. It was understandable as she was his geisha, so he would be paying the medical bill. He used these reason to allow his visit. Relief had taken over his body, making it slightly harder than usual to keep his cold exterior about him, but he managed. In his head however, there were images playing over and over, showing Sakura well again, and the smiling face she would greet him with. The sight he met however was not what he expected. Looking through the window into her room, he saw her fail body barely managing to hold itself in a sitting position. She wasn't as pale as the last time he had seen her, but it would take a while for her to be the girl he used to know. Then it hit him. Her eyes were starring directly at him, but they were completely emotionless.
"She has slight memory loss" He recalled the phone call.
Could she not recognise him? His heart sank as he realised it was true.
"Maybe I deserved this after how I treated her. Then again, maybe it's for the best this way. By bringing her into my life, I could only bring her more pain, especially if her feelings were as strong as my own. How could I have been so selfish? Did I really believe it would sort itself into a fairytale ending? How could I be so arrogant?"
Turning quickly on his back heel, he swiftly left the building.
The doctor had checked her over, and apart from the obvious memory loss, and extreme weight loss, Sakura was given the all clear. She would still be in the hospital for a few weeks yet, to get her weight back up, and to run a few memory exercises, but it could have been a lot worse. Everyone knew this but dared to mention it.
As the doctor talked to her and Kima about the different tests she would undergo, Sakura's mind started to wonder, and her eyes with it, until she realised she was staring at a figure that was looking in through the glass window. Jogging her back to reality, she quickly looked back to the doctor to make sure he hadn't noticed how impolite she had just been by not paying attention. She had to look back though. Why was he looking at her so intensely? So longingly? Did she know him? Her eyes darted to the window as soon as she thought she could take a glimpse without being noticed, but he had already left. Wearily she continued to listen to the conversation in front of her.
Daily, many of her old friends from the teahouse visited and retold tales of her past to try to help her remember, and fill the blank space in her mind. Most if it triggered something. She had managed to recall most of the faces that visited her, even though the events they talked about seemed like only tales to her mind. There was only one person that hadn't been lost from her mind, and that was the person who had just arrived and stood in the doorway to Sakura's room.
"Tomoyo!!" Sakura sat up straight away, having gained her strength over the few weeks she had been hospitalised and was soon allowed to leave. The only problem left was where see would go 'home' to? She had no recollection of the Li household and people hadn't pushed her to remember, instead she only talked of the teahouse like she had never left.
"Tomoyo, I've missed you. How have you been, I was getting worried. I asked after you but none of my friends seemed to recall you."
Timidly Tomoyo entered the room. She had been excited to see her friend, but she had been sent here for a reason. Eriol's words ran in her ears with a sense of urgency.
"Please find out what she remembers of him. I think he's giving up on her."
Gently placing herself next to Sakura on the bed she forced a smile onto her face, trying to hide how anxious she really was. The outcome of the conversation would change the outcome of Sakura's future.
"What do you mean worried about me, I was worried about you! I've been told you've made a full recovery." Some part of Tomoyo felt guilty that she hadn't persisted Sakura more about her lack of eating.
"How come none of my friends remember you? You're not from the tea house, you can't be. Then how do I know you? I remember everything about you, except that." Sakura winced as confusion clouded her mind once again. It was frustrating that all her memories had gaps.
"Do you remember where we met?" Tomoyo asked.
"Completely. I remember everything about the room, as it was the most elegant place I've ever been. I can't believe I was actually there at all."
"But why were you there?" Tomoyo wanted more, she wanted Sakura to remember. Not only for him, and also not only for her own personal selfishness of not wanting to loss a friend, but also for Sakura. She had talked about Syaoran with such admiration when she had arrived at the Li household. It was with such strong emotions that her eyes spoke, wanting to shout to the world her feelings for the one she had found.
"If I lost Eriol..." It was a thought Tomoyo had always pushed to the back of her mind, but now it plagued her. "...I don't know what I would do."
"Tomoyo, why are you asking me these things? I'm sorry I can't remember the answers just yet, but if you help me, I'm sure I can recall everything. Will you help me?"
This was something Tomoyo had been ordered against. "Not today Sakura. I will come back to visit you soon, we can talk then and see if you have remembered any more." Hiding her face from the confused girl, Tomoyo placed a card on Sakura's lap before leaving the room. She felt awful having to leave having only given a get well card. She could have done so much more for her, and it was these thoughts that rotated around and around in her head:
"The feeling you have when you love someone is so precious that it should never be lost. I'm sorry I could not return you feeling to you. I'm sorry I could not remind you of him."
Syaoran was in the hall way with the owner of the teahouse as Tomoyo stepped out of the room and stopped by the two. It was ill mannered of her to keep her eyes to the ground, but she could not bring herself to meet Syaoran's gaze. Instead, her head hung low as she slightly shook her head.
"It's settled then. Saku... I mean Konabe will return to the teahouse."
Syaoran's statement shocked them both, but he continued before they could say a word.
"There will, however, be some conditions upon her return. There will be no mention of what happened to her with the Li household, or of my name. Tomoyo, you may visit her, but make an excuse of how you met elsewhere. Also, she will only perform, and have no guests that stay with her. These are my conditions."
"Master Li..."
"Of course I will pay for everything – her hospital bills, education, food and clothing, and anything else she needs. I want her to have the best there is, and no less. I will make sure you have the funds needed to make all that possible. And if one day she remem... no, that is all."
One of the ladies went to bow while the other suddenly could not hold back her feelings.
"What are you doing!?!" Tomoyo practically shouted. "How can you do this to her? How can you just walk off and leave her!!" Tears started to form in her eyes as the first lady placed an arm around her to try and calm her down.
Syaoran, however, did not even turn to look back at her as he quietly stated, "Gomen Tomoyo. It's for the best."
Then he was gone.