None of the Characters belong to me. © Square Soft

Chapter 6

It was maybe... 10:00 o'clock in the morning. I was balled up on Aeris's couch wrapped up in one of her hand made blankets. I felt warm, safe, and extremely comfortable. Sunlight was gently streaming into the living room through a window on the other side of the room. I yawned and stretched across the couch before sitting up and running my hands through my hair. I looked around Aeris's quaint cottage like house absently before standing to go to the kitchen. The carpet was warm and soft against my bare feet.

I... felt weird today. Like... hallow. I can't really explain it. I had a terrible dream last night. It was about Riku... and something was hurting him. I couldn't see what it was that was causing my love so much pain... I just remember a lot of blood everywhere. I rubbed my face to clear my head. It was just a dream... a nightmare. I had them all the time.

Riku was fine...

Yeah... he was fine. He could take care of himself.

But I felt bad for leaving him all alone so often. He sounded so sad on the phone last night. I was tempted to just go home. But... I can't go back to that house yet. I opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a carton of orange juice. I didn't have a taste for any food... not yet.

I closed the refrigerator door and noticed a pink papered note tacked to it. It was from Aeris. I pulled it free and read it.

Sora honey,

I went to the market with Yuffie to grab a few things. I know you don't like a heavy breakfast so I chopped up some fruit for you to eat. It's in a pink bowl on the second shelf of the refrigerator. I'll be back in a few hours. Try and get some rest 'kay.

Love Aeris.

I smiled sadly and folded up the note to put in my pocket. I had a collection of them now. I don't know why I was keeping them. Aeris was such a sweet person. She knew my dark secret. The one I hadn't even told Riku yet. She used her motherly tone to get me to tell her. She kept saying, "Sora, you can tell me no matter what it is." "Sora, I'm your friend, I care about you like a son, please tell me what's wrong." She thought it had something to do with Riku at first and I got a little angry with her. Everyone automatically assumed Riku had done something to me. This let me know they still didn't trust him completely. I remember breaking down and crying for at least a good 30 minutes once it was out in the open. It just felt so good to get it off of my shoulders. I begged Aeris not to say anything to Leon, or anyone just yet. She bitterly agreed not too. I can tell she thinks about it all the time though. When she goes to Leon's house she avoids him like the plague. I don't think he's noticed or gotten suspicious yet.

I grabbed my fruit bowl and went to sit at the dining table. I really wasn't hungry for anything but I'd eat since Aeris took the time to make this healthy breakfast for me. I couldn't stop thinking about that dream I'd had. I felt like it was telling me something. But I didn't want to acknowledge that something could have possibly happened to Riku. It was true that he and Leon didn't get along at all, and they had even had some almost violent confrontations with each other, but I don't think Leon would... hurt Riku. I paused in eating a slice of apple.

Why did I keep automatically assuming Leon had hurt Riku?

Well...he'd hurt me...

But I'm weaker then Riku.

And... it was kinda my fault it happened.

Riku's so strong...

I didn't say 'No' loud enough... that's all...

Riku can take care of himself.

I jumped up and ran to the phone. I dialed our house and waited. The phone rang 3 times. I hung up and dialed again. I got 3 more rings...

Maybe they were both asleep. Riku wasn't exactly a morning person. Everything was fine I just knew it. Riku was fine.

Why is my heart beating so fast...?

I hung up the phone and leaned heavily against the wall. I felt short of breath and suddenly very weak. I was overreacting. I had to be...

Riku was fine...

I was breaking into a cold sweat. I looked at my hands, they were trembling violently.

That's it, I'm going home.

I grabbed a pair of jeans to put on, not caring to change my pajama shirt. I pulled on my jacket, got my keys, and left Aeris's house. I think I sprinted all the way home from the 1st district. It was gloomy and bitterly chilly outside. What little sunlight there was earlier had disappeared behind a froth of deep black clouds. It started to drizzle slightly so I pulled up my hood. I couldn't be getting sick now. Not surprisingly the streets of Traverse town were noisy and busy. People didn't seem to mind the rain. I shoved and pushed and ducked around, under, and by people and things as I made my way across town. The distance seemed longer then usual.

"Sora!" I heard a voice call. I almost didn't stop, whoever this was obviously didn't see I was in a hurry. I skidded to halt and turned around. A man wearing a heavy black trench coat was walking up to me, his face shadowed over by the black hood. I took a step back.

Who was this?

"Where you off to in such a hurry."

I sighed in relief, instantly recognizing the soft voice. It was Cloud. He lifted his hood a bit and stared down at me. His soft blue eyes glowing in the gloomy atmosphere. I had to catch my breath before I uttered.

"Home."

Cloud smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

"Want some company?" He asked softly. I studied his face for a moment. This was a person I could trust. I could talk to him, I could let him help me. He wasn't like Leon. Not at all. I must have looked distressed because Cloud put his hand on my shoulder. I lurched away without really meaning to.

"Are.. are you okay?" He asked worriedly. I didn't know what to say to him. No, I wasn't okay. I didn't think I ever would be again. But I couldn't just tell him that. Cause then he'd ask why I wasn't okay. This wasn't the time or the place for this.

"Can... can we talk about this later? I'm in a hurry." I said rushed. Cloud raised a blonde eyebrow and watched me. I could hear him silently asking, "Talk about what later?" But he nodded and turned in the direction I was previously headed. I wanted to take off running so I could get home faster, but If I did, Cloud would really make me tell him what was wrong.

"You...you stayed at Aeris's house again?" Cloud asked me after a short time. I watched the rain water dollop and splatter on the pavement in front of me and reflect the many neon street lights all around while I answered.

"Yeah." Cloud turned to look at me. His expression questioning. ".... Is it Riku?"

My temper flared.

"No!" I hissed and turned to glare at the man. He seemed slightly taken aback at my sudden change in mood. I didn't apologize.

"Why does everyone think Riku is the cause of everything?" I asked and kicked heatedly at a puddle of water, splashing myself. Smooth move Sora. I ignored my soaked pants.

Cloud smiled nervously. "Well... he was... he did kind of..."

"Tried to kill me, yeah I know. I was there remember. But let's just get something straight." I stopped suddenly and turned to look at Cloud. He stopped as well and looked sideways at me.

"Riku is in love with me and I'm in love with him. He would never purposely hurt me. He didn't mean to do what he did back then. It wasn't him!! He's not a bad person. Do you know that he would give his life for me. That he spent a year locked away in Hell for me! Now please stop thinking every time I'm distressed or in a bad mood that it has something to do with Riku. He alone makes my life worth living! He makes me happy!" I was screaming and people on the streets were staring at me. I didn't care. Cloud didn't seem able to say anything at first and he just looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"I'm sorry." He said after a moment of silence and put his hands on my shoulders. I didn't flinch away this time. Cloud's touch was comforting.

"And your right. Riku does love you very much. I can see it when he looks at you. Whatever it is that's bothering you Sora, you can tell me. I won't think less of you or ridicule you. God knows I've done and been through some terrible things in my life time. So...." Cloud tipped my head up gently so I could look him in the eye. "...I know where you're coming from. Don't be afraid to talk to me... I'm here if you need me."

There it was again. The guilt, the pain. It was all about to gush out. Cloud was being so sincere. I couldn't sense any animosity coming from him. But unlike Aeris, who couldn't physically hurt Leon once I'd told her my story, Cloud could. He could seriously brutalize Leon. And vice versa. So...

I couldn't tell him. I didn't want anyone else getting hurt for me.

Cloud seemed to realize that I wasn't going to tell him anything and he let his arms drop to his sides. He smiled at me again.

"When you're ready then." He said simply and started walking again.

"Cloud." I called softly. He stopped and turned to me. I couldn't help doing what I did next. I leapt forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tight. He seemed startled for a split second but then he tenderly placed his hands on my back and soothingly rubbed it.

I wasn't crying... just dry sobbing.

"Thank you.. thank you. You don't know what it means to me... to hear you say that."

"It's okay Sora."

And I had the sudden feeling that things would be okay. That he would be there to help me.

No matter what.

Things couldn't get any worse... right?

------------

The house was dark even in the day light as Cloud and I walked up to the front door. I looked at him and motioned for us to go to the back. We made our way around and I unlocked the door. The house was eerily silent. Nothing was on. I felt a pull at my heart and started to panic slightly. I had a bad feeling... a very bad feeling.

Something was wrong.

"Maybe they're out." Cloud whispered to me. I nodded stiffly, not really agreeing, but trying to hide my worry. We walked into the kitchen and I closed the door quietly. Cloud shook water from himself and trudged to the living room. I went towards my bedroom.

"What are you doing here?"

It was his voice and I gasped and turned around so quickly I almost ran into the linen closet door. He wasn't near by or behind me. Cloud's voice echoed through the house.

"I came with Sora."

I went back towards the living room and found Cloud and Leon glaring each other down. I didn't know what was going on so I didn't say anything.

"Well, what do you want?" Leon asked coldly to Cloud. The blonde didn't seem like he had an answer at that moment and the way he was hatefully staring at Leon concerned me. What was going on between them... if anything?

"I'm just here with Sora, that's all." Cloud finally said and put his hands in his pockets. Leon seemed to have sensed me watching them even though I hadn't made any noise to alert him to my presence. He turned to look at me with those piercing gray/blue eyes of his. I felt like a mouse trapped in a corner by a really big cat. He frightened me just by looking at me. Cloud seemed to notice my unease and said.

"Where's Riku?"

Leon's head snapped back to him and he looked as though he was sizing Cloud up for the first time. He also looked like Cloud had just caught him in something.

"Why?" Leon asked. Cloud blinked at the response. Leon had sounded a little too angry when he'd asked that. I started to feel sick.

"Well... Sora's looking for him." Cloud stated simply. Leon shrugged and walked past Cloud towards me. "Haven't seen him." He said. I gaped silently. Leon was lying, Cloud and I both knew it.

"You haven't seen him? He does live here with you." Cloud reminded Leon. The older man turned back to him and put his hand on his hip.

"He's not my responsibility." Was all he said and then he went into the kitchen. I'd taken the liberty of moving out of the way long before he started walking in my direction. He glanced at me for a moment and grinned devilishly before putting on his leather jacket and walking out of the back door. It slammed and made me jump. I started hyperventilating for some reason.

"Sora...." I heard Cloud call me but I couldn't respond. "Sora." He was grabbing my shoulders and shaking me gently. I looked at him, dazed and wide eyed. Cloud frowned and pursed his lips.

"You're... sweating like crazy... I think you need to tell me what's wrong now." Cloud was speaking slowly and softly so he wouldn't scare me. I'd heard his every word but couldn't seem to say anything back.

"Let's go find Riku okay." He turned me around and nudged me forward, down the hallway to our bedroom. I walked along absently. I turned the handle and discovered it was locked. I pulled out my key and started to unlock the door but decided to knock first. I didn't want Riku thinking I was Leon.

"Riku... it's me. I'm coming in okay." I didn't get a response. I looked at Cloud quickly, he was hovering a distance behind me. He nodded slightly. I unlocked the door and went into the room. It was dark in here too, even the blinds were drawn.

"Riku." I whispered and made my way to the bed. I could see the blankets all bundled up. I crawled onto the bed and felt Riku's warm body under me. He was completely still, breathing softly with the blanket pulled up over his head. I smiled lovingly and leaned over to remove the blanket. I saw his sleeping face and almost broke into tears.

He was okay.

"Riku." I muttered and leaned over to kiss him. He stirred, he was facing away from me, and turned over. I choked and covered my mouth to hide my gasp.

His jaw was a deep purple.

He wasn't okay.

"...baby..." He grumbled and opened his eyes. He looked so tired. He blinked several times and started to sit up. I backed away from him and stood from the bed. He looked slightly hurt at that.

"What...what...ha...hap... happened?" I stuttered, emotion dripping from my voice. Tears were silently streaming down my cheeks and Riku wouldn't look at me. I couldn't believe it. The dream was true.... it was real.. something had happened.

Riku was hurt.

"Oh... this..." Riku shrugged and touched his cheek. I could see the discomfort on his face as he ran his finger tips across the bruise. "... it's nothing... really..." I froze.

Nothing?

Nothing?

I crawled back onto the bed and grabbed Riku by his shoulders. He looked at me with a haunted glazed over expression. I wanted to yell at him and shake him for what he'd just said.

"Riku!" I jostled him slightly to get him to look at me. He'd been averting his gaze. "You have a huge bruise across your face... how is that nothing?" He looked away from me again.

"I'm fine." He mumbled and tried to pull away from me. I didn't let him go. He was acting so weird. Where was his mischievous grin? Where was that kiss he always gave first thing in the morning? I was longing for that kiss. Riku almost seemed like he didn't want to see me.

But on the phone last night...

"Tell me what happened. How did you get that bruise?"

Riku turned to look at me slowly. He was looking through me. He looked so exhausted and distressed. I felt a new wave of tears. "Why won't you talk to me?" I whimpered and pulled him into a hug. He was limp in my arms. I hugged him tighter.

"Let me go..." He whispered flatly. I looked up at him quickly. He wasn't looking down at me, he was staring blindly at the wall across the room.

"... I'm fine." He said again, like he was trying to convince himself that he was, and pried my hands from around his waist. I can't even explain how much it hurt of him to do that. He didn't want me touching him now. My body felt like it was falling apart. My temples pulsed painfully and my throat burned. What was wrong with my Riku?

"Did Leon do this... did he hit you?" I was begging him to tell me now. Riku had lain back down with his back to me. I noticed he was wearing a thick gray sweater and long sweat pants even though he was under that heavy blanket. It wasn't even that cold out.

"Please talk to me."

"About what?" Was his muffled reply.

I reached out and gently caressed his shoulder. I felt him flinch away from me and he suddenly leapt up out of the bed.

"Don't touch me!" He hissed and smacked my hand away. I recoiled in fear.

"Riku...?" I said meekly.

"No... no.. don't even... ask me... I don't..." Riku seemed short for words. Like he couldn't think straight at all. He was standing stiffly a few feet from the bed, staring at the floor.

"What's wrong?" I asked anyway. Riku's head snapped up and he was glaring angrily at me.

"How does it feel Sora!? To be left in the dark about everything!"

Why was he yelling at me?

"Riku.."

"Just... just leave me alone..." He choked and covered his face with one hand. I reached out for him again and he almost jumped away. He was looking at me like I was wild animal trying to attack him. I noticed that he was cradling his lower abdomen for some reason. Had he gotten into a fight? Riku turned and started to leave the room. I was so shocked at his actions that I just sat there and stared at him. Cloud was waiting in the hallway just outside the door I heard Riku almost scream when he ran into him.

"Whoa, whoa calm down!" Cloud was saying hastily. I scrambled from the bed and went into the hallway. What I saw made me sink to my knees.

"Let me GO!!" Riku roared and he tried to run past Cloud. The older man stopped him with a slight shove to his stomach. Riku winced painfully and lashed out at his head. Cloud dodged the blow and caught Riku's wrist to held it down. Riku swung with his other arm, Cloud caught that one and roughly pushed him into the wall. They were panting loudly but Riku wasn't fighting anymore.

"Calm down!" Cloud yelled. I dragged myself to my feet with the help of the wall and ambled over to them. Riku had his eyes closed and was breathing so hard his voice was wheezing slightly.

"...I just went to check... I was alone... the back door... he wouldn't stop...." He breathed. Nothing he said was making sense. Cloud eyed me in confusion. I didn't know what was wrong so I just shook my head.

"Riku.... listen to me. It's me, Cloud. I'm not going to hurt you. Just calm down okay." Cloud had spoken slowly and gently while releasing Riku's arms. Riku didn't try anything else of the violent sort, but he did sink to the floor and start to cry.

Oh my god...something was terribly wrong with him. Riku never cried in front of anyone but me.

"It's over.. I'm ..fine... I'm fine... just leave me alone okay..." Riku was mumbling through his sobs. I knelt down in front of him but didn't touch him. He was trying to press himself into the wall as much as he possibly could. He wanted to get away from me.

"No Sora... don't... just leave me alone..." He muttered and rubbed at his eyes. I glanced back at Cloud, silently asking what I should do. He looked just as lost as me. We didn't know what was wrong or what had happened so we didn't know how to help.

"Ah... let's go back to your room, okay Riku." Cloud said soothingly. He reached down to help Riku up but he just flinched away. I pursed my lips.

"Can you move?" I asked. Riku nodded slowly and started to pull himself up along the wall. His legs trembled slightly but he stayed standing.

"I'll get him something to drink." Cloud told me and headed for the kitchen. I ushered Riku back into our room and helped him sit on the bed. He pulled his legs up and cradled his knees to his chin. Something had terrified him beyond reasoning.

That dream...

"Here." Cloud whispered and handed me a glass of water. I mouthed a thank you and went to sit next to my distraught lover.

"I'll just leave you two alone. Let me know if you need anything okay." With a wave Cloud closed our door and I heard him make his way down the hall.

Riku didn't look at me or say anything for a very long time. I just listened to him breath. It was so unnerving to see him like this. It was usually me he was babying. What had happened to him that turned the tables?

"A fight... Leon."

I turned to look at Riku. He'd spoken really softly.

"A fight, with Leon?" I echoed and rubbed my finger across the cold glass of water. Riku balled up tighter. He nodded slightly. I sat the glass of water down the night stand and moved closer to Riku. He stiffened.

"Please... please tell me what's wrong."

I hated seeing him like this.

He was silent for another period of time. I wasn't giving up. I'd find out what had happened. Riku suddenly lifted his head and looked me dead in the eyes. He looked so mad at me that I leaned away from him. He was biting his inner jaw and clenching his fists.

"You first." He said. I didn't understand him at first. Then a cold sense of dread washed over me. Oh no... Had Riku found out my secret?

"Leon." He hissed.

I took a shuddery breath and covered my face. I felt suddenly very chilly and hugged myself. Riku was watching me through his teary blood shot eyes. I stood up and started to pace around slowly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Riku whispered. I stopped pacing and looked up at the ceiling. I was about to cry again. God I hated feeling so emotional and helpless.

He knew...?

"I... I wanted to...." I muttered and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Then why didn't you?" Riku had come out of his ball and was sitting straight up. His mood had shifted from helpless to pissed in a matter of seconds.

"I tried." I explained.

"Don't you trust me?" Riku asked and leaned forward.

"Of course I do!" I threw up my hands.

"Then why didn't you just say something!?"

"What was I supposed to say."

"THAT LEON RAPED YOU!!" Riku was standing now.

I froze and stared wide eyed at him. Oh my god... he really did know...

Hearing it come from his mouth, through his anger made me feel so bad for keeping it from him. He was right, I should have told him a long time ago. But I had my reasons..

"It...it happened while you were in Kingdom Hearts... we weren't together..." That was a stupid reason... it sounded like an excuse.

Riku gaped silently at me before he pulled at his hair. "So.. So that's why!! Because we weren't... I was still your friend! You could have just... said it, wrote it down, hinted at it... God Sora... How could you keep this inside for so long?!"

I took a deep breath. I didn't know how to answer that. How had I kept such a horrible thing locked away for so long. Maybe because I felt guilty. Like it was my fault it had happened in the first place. That I was dirty... tainted... That I was frightened for my life...

And for Riku's.

"He said he'd hurt you..."

Because of Riku I kept it inside.

"What?" Came his startled reply. I felt suddenly faint and sat down on the bed. Riku sat back down next to me but kept his distance. I couldn't look him in the eye.

"He told me... he said he'd... I didn't want you to get hurt..."

Riku's eyes darted across my face when I finally looked at him. He looked like he didn't understand. But now... I was confused about something.

"How.. how did you find out?" How had he? Who'd told him...?

Riku bit his bottom lip really hard, it started to bleed. He wiped the crimson away on the sleeve of his sweater. Why wouldn't he answer me. I stood up again and went to the window. The weather mirrored our current situation.

Dark.

"Leon told me..."

I looked back at Riku and frowned. Leon had told him?

"He... just came out and said it...?" I asked.

The sick bastard was bragging about what he'd done to me now.

"No..." Riku paused and buried his face into his hands.

"Then how?"

Please tell me Riku.

"He... he showed me..."

I let out a pained gasp. No, No, No, No, No, No! He hadn't! This wasn't happening! He promised he wouldn't touch Riku!

"He tricked me... last night. I went in his room.... that's when it happened. He told me then that he'd done the same thing to you."

Riku was saying it like he was reading a newspaper article. It was so easy for him to talk about it. I think he was in shock, that reality had finally sunken in. He turned and looked at me.

"Please tell me... everything..."

He wanted to hear me say it.

"... Everything?"

That Leon had raped me.

"I..." I cradled my head in my hand and shook it. "I... don't know if I can...."

Riku was suddenly up, he grabbed me, and was shaking me so roughly I got whip-lashed.

"Do you know what I was thinking about earlier? I was thinking about the real reason why you said you didn't want to have sex anymore! It was because of what Leon had done to you... and because I was almost doing the same thing!"

"That's not true!" I cried back.

"Then what Sora, why won't you look at me, or touch and kiss me. Do I remind you of him?"

"No!"

How could he think or say that?

"You defended him the other day! You said he was just lonely.... after what he'd done to you how could you take up for him like that? How could you make it seem like what he'd done was okay?!"

I didn't answer.

"If it's not me then what is it? Just tell me please. What really happened. Why do you feel so guilty?"

"I... I can't..."

"NO!! Don't even say that to me right now! You know what I went through... how much it hurt.... the guilt... the fear! How can you say you can't tell me at a time like this?!"

Still I didn't answer. Tears started to stream down Riku's flushed cheeks, over his bruise, and down his neck. I noticed a deep welt there too.

"You... YOU OWE ME SORA!" He snapped through his cries.

I owe him?

He was right. If I had just told him about my rape this would have never happened to him. Leon would be in prison or something. I could feel so much emotion coming from Riku at that moment. He understood my pain, my suffering... and he wanted to help me. Even though he'd been hurt he was still protecting me.

This was all my fault.

"...okay..." I finally said. Riku pulled me into a tight embrace and I started to cry again. It would finally be over. All I had to do was say the words. This burden would finally be off of my shoulders....

"Shhh, don't waste your tears anymore. I'm here, we are going to get through this. I won't let him hurt you again. I promise."

He was so brave... no matter what it was.

I sniffled and sat down on the bed again. My legs felt so weak. Riku sat next to me and waited patiently for me to begin. I didn't know where to start....

"I was....The first time it happened was...."

It was time to free myself.

To be continued.

Good, Bad, Review Please.

Note's: You know, it pains me to write stories like this. I know the characters aren't real, but I still feel so sorry for them. I almost cried myself writing the rape scene and this chapter. I've never been in the kind of situation, but I can only imagine what it must be like. I'm not writing this to make fun of these kinds of situations and my heart goes out to anyone whose ever had to suffer through this.

This may not have a happy ending....