None of the Characters belong to me. © Square Soft

Chapter 8

Why does he have to give me that look?

I know he wants to ask.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

But he did say... that he would be there if I needed him.

Shit...

I twirled my thumbs nervously and stared down at the floor. Cloud was staring at me like I was a really big ugly spider on the wall. He hadn't said anything yet but I knew his mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out why Riku and I were so eager to leave our not so humble abode.

"Sora, look at me."

I peeked up through my bangs at Cloud, he was leaning towards me with a slight smile on his face. That made me feel better.

"Of course I don't mind." He finally said. I jerked my head up quickly and stared almost disbelievingly at him. He'd said 'yes'. For real. Didn't he want to know why?

"But..."

Damn.

"I'm expecting a very valid reason as to why you and Riku suddenly want to pack up and go. I think I know why though..." Cloud stood up and walked up to me. I was a bit worried that he had a slight speculation in his mind about what was going on. I was hoping his imagination wasn't to... expansive. I doubt Leon molesting me and Riku was one of his ideas though.

"Okay." I said. I would tell him the truth... someday. When things were better. When we were away from here.

"Can we go now?" I asked. Cloud tilted his head and blinked.

"Right now?" he asked stunned. I nodded vigorously.

"Yeah.. if that's okay? Um.. I mean.. Riku got into a fight with Leon last night. We can't stay here."

Cloud looked on alert suddenly. Oh.... I shouldn't have said that.

"A fight... Is Riku alright?"

Ah... no.

"Yeah, he's just got a bruise on his cheek that's all. He's tough you know." I tried to keep my voice steady but the more I talked the more it shook. I was getting nervous and desperate. The need to get out of this house was building rapidly. I was worried that at any moment Leon would walk through the door. I honestly think I would faint on the spot if did.

"Please." I finally said. Cloud seemed to sense the desperation in my voice because he nodded. I smiled and blew out a shuddery breath.

"Okay... just give us like... 10 minutes to pack our things." I said walking away. I almost sprinted down the hall to our room. Yes, we could leave and go somewhere safe. My stress level went down just slightly at that.

"Riku!" I chirped beside myself and turned into our room. I froze at what I saw and ran into in. Riku was staring down at a small but growing puddle of blood on the floor that was seeping from his badly cut up hands. I noticed broken glass on the floor and water spreading slowly across the carpet.

"Riku..." I fell to my knees and took his bloody hands in mine. "What.. what happened?"

Riku looked up at me slowly and blinked. "I.. dropped the glass of water... I was cleaning up the glass." He pulled his hand from me and examined the gash across his palm.

"I... guess I wasn't careful."

He sounded like a robot talking. I wanted to ask him just how the glass had broken on a carpeted floor but couldn't bring myself to say it. I knew Riku had broken it with his bare hands. He was shaking so hard.

"Riku... baby." I gently grabbed his face in my hands and looked him in the eye. He looked back at me but I don't think he saw me.

"Sorry... it was my fault." He breathed. I wanted to cry at how sad he sounded. So he'd broken the glass, so what. He must have thought I was angry with him.

"It's okay. You just... need to be careful." I sounded like I was talking to a four year old. "Listen, you go and wash your hands to get the blood off. I'm going to pack our things so we can leave."

A spark lit up in Riku's aqua green eyes. "Leave..." He whispered. I nodded and smiled genuinely for the first time in a while. "Yes." I breathed and kissed him on the lips. He seemed to return to his normal self for a moment then, because he kissed me back.

I pulled him to my feet as I stood and helped him step over the broken glass, his feet were bare, then I ushered him to the bathroom and turned on the faucet. He sat on the toilet and let the warm water run over his wounds.

"Be right back, okay." I said and went back to our room. Riku and I didn't really have much. Clothes, 2 pairs of shoes each, some shampoo, a brush and comb, and a few books we'd picked up from the book store. We didn't collect things like comic books, or magazines. There was no point really. I pulled out a sports duffle bag from the closet and one suite case, wondering exactly when we'd gotten these, and started neatly packing our clothes into them. It took me less then 3 minutes really. Riku was a neat freak so everything was folded perfectly and neatly placed away. Once I'd zipped up both bags I hauled them to the hallway before I went back to the bathroom. Riku was drying off his hands and staring into the mirror. He was examining the bruise on his face.

"...bastard..." I heard him mumble. I came up behind him and tapped his shoulder. I'd really wanted to just pull him into a hug and never let go, but I didn't know how jumpy he still was.

"I'm done packing." I said softly. He turned around and looked down at me. I smiled up at him and put my hands on his gray sweater covered chest.

"We can go... when your ready."

"I'm ready." He said stiffly but quickly. I just nodded and led him to the hallway. I didn't make him carry either of the bags. He slipped on his black sneakers and followed me into the living room. Cloud was pulling on his jacket while talking into his cell phone.

"Yea... no I won't be in tomorrow. No, I'm fine, something just came up that's all. Uh huh.... er... no. I'll see you then. Yeah, okay. Bye."

Click.

Cloud turned to us and smiled brightly. "All set?" He asked. Riku sighed and walked into the kitchen without saying anything. Cloud seemed a little hurt by that, but he remained silent.

"Yeah." I said and hoisted the duffle bag up onto my shoulder. Cloud grabbed the rolling suitcase and headed towards the kitchen too. I took one look around before I followed him. Riku was standing on the back porch with his hood pulled up. A dark shadow was spread across his face. Cloud glanced at me questioningly and I shook my head, telling him to just not say anything. He complied and started off. I pulled up the back door but didn't bother locking it as Cloud and I filed out onto the back porch beside Riku.

"We have to catch the train downtown." He glanced at his watch. "If we hurry, we can catch the 7:30 one. Come on." He then picked up the suitcase to carry it on his back and took off in a slow jog. Riku and I picked up our pace to keep up with him.

It was drizzling just slightly out tonight. It was bone chilling cold though. I could feel my teeth starting to chatter and tried to pull my jacket closer to me. My hood supplied me with a little warmth, but I just couldn't wait to get inside of Cloud's place. I could hear Riku's steady foot steps behind me so I wasn't worried that he was tired of falling behind.

"Almost there." Cloud called. He looked back over his shoulder. "You guys alright?" I grinned. "Of course we are! This is like the races we used to have back home!" I looked back at Riku. "Right?"

He smiled just slightly.

Good.

I was panting and sucking in air like I'd never had it before by the time we reached the station. I'd made a mental note to ask Cloud why he didn't have a car or something. Riku, as always, wasn't even the slightest bit fatigued, but I noticed he was rubbing tenderly at his abdomen again.

Christ... Leon had really hurt him.

"LAST CALL FOR THE 7:30 TRAIN. DOWN TOWN, TRAVERSE!!."

I winced at how loud the overhead speaker was and gripped onto Riku's arm. The noise had scared the hell out of him because he was looking around wildly. "It's okay." I soothed and wrapped his arm in mine. I know people were staring. Oh it's two pretty boys feeling all over each other on in public! Fuck them! I don't care what they think. Cloud was smiling at us. For some reason I think he finds us to be cute together.

"This way." He pointed and we walked down a large crowded area until we reached a small booth in front of a large gate. There was a very short grumpy looking lady standing behind the booth and she eyed us queasily as we approached.

"How many." She asked in a very bored tone. I wonder why people with attitudes like hers get jobs like these. Cloud smiled beside himself and held up three fingers. The women pressed a button and three off white tickets popped up out of the desk she was leaning on. She ripped them free of the rest of the roll and handed them to Cloud. He paid for the tickets without waiting for her to say the total and took off in a steady but brisk walk.

"Just this way." Cloud breathed and turned a corner. He didn't seem like he was going to wait for us to catch up to him so Riku and I ran after him. I figured out why he was moving so fast though as we turned the corner. The train was starting to build up power so it could make it's decent. A large white cloud was filtering up around the dock area and more late comers where swarming to get on board. Cloud grabbed my hand, I grabbed Rikus, and we pushed our way through the bustle of people. All of the strange hands and legs, and other limbs seemed to want to hold us back, Riku's hand felt very sweaty and I found my grip on it slipping. I turned and gave a reassuring face.

I won't let you go.

Riku smiled slowly and just barely as he picked up on my mental oath. His grip on me suddenly tightened and he pulled himself forward, closer to me, and with Cloud we pushed bravely through the crowd onto the train. The fresh scent of oil and fake leather filled my senses and I had to stare around a bit. This was the first time I'd actually ever ridden on the Traverse Rails.... er the train. Everywhere I usually needed to go was in walking distance. *shrug*

Cloud pointed out 3 seats, 2 by each other, one in front of those, and we made our way over. He took my duffle and put it up overhead on a luggage rack along with the suitcase as we settled in. Riku took the seat by the window and I made myself comfortable in the seat next to him. Cloud stayed standing for a moment and kept looking up and down the isle. The person in the seat next to his was a girl with short brown hair, I couldn't see her face, but by the angle of which her neck was craned I could tell she was watching Cloud.

"We should reach downtown in about 45 minutes." Cloud said turning to me. I nodded but felt discouraged by that bit of information. We'd be on the train that long? How far away was downtown anyway? I didn't say anything and snuggled closer to Riku, trying to warm myself. He looked down at me, still with his hood pulled up, and wrapped his arm around me.

At least some of MY Riku was still there.

"Just a little longer." I mumbled drowsily. Cloud took his seat in front of us and was silent. That girl sitting next to him turned away sharply. Oh well...

People were finally settled in and the train doors closed. I was looking around absently, watching the conductor pace up and down the isle gathering up tickets. There was a soft murmur as other passengers went on with idle chatter and I seemed to start feeling really tired then. The noise was like the droning of bees and it was boring the crap out of me.

"Go to sleep." I heard Riku breath and his hold on me tightened. I tilted my head to look up at him but he was staring out of the window. The train jerked a bit and started off almost silently. Riku leaned his head against the window and closed his eyes. I found myself wondering what he was thinking about. The look on his face was clearly some kind of relief. Most likely from the fact they we were finally leaving.... getting away from that place.

Getting away from him.

I wanted to ask Riku a million questions... mostly what happened to him the other night... in detail if he didn't mind telling me. I couldn't let him keep it all inside. He'd helped me so much and listened so patiently to all of my sorrow, I wanted to return the favor and help him somehow. But I know Riku all to well. He'll try to handle this on his own, he'll push me away for the sake of not dragging me down to his level of distress. He was so stubborn like that. That irked me about him .... irked me deeply. I wouldn't let him deal with this alone, not ever. There was really no telling what Riku would do in the mean time. I mean, after my rape... I became, withdrawn and angry, I didn't want to do anything or talk to anybody. I lost at least 10 pounds from just having no appetite, I got sick easier... I was just miserable all around. It sucked big ass to be like that too.

I think... when I finally told Aeris was when I started to feel better. It just felt so good to know that someone was there and that they were on my side. My biggest fear of telling was that Leon would hurt that person and that they would say it was my fault I got raped. I already blamed myself... but I didn't want someone else rubbing it in. I'm glad Aeris wasn't like that.

*yawn*

.....

.....

ZZZzzzZZZ.

(transition of thoughts. Riku)

Sora's so warm.

He looks so small and fragile laying there like that.

God... I can't believe how much he's been through. No wonder he's been so depressed lately. I'm surprised he'd made it this far at all. My baby's so strong.

Why didn't he tell me this before...?

I just don't know if I can live with myself for letting something so terrible happen to him over and over again. I should have been there to save him. If only I hadn't gotten locked away in Kingdom Hearts... none of this would have happened. Wait... it's more then that... If I'd never suggested that stupid journey in search of other worlds NONE of this would have happened. Sora and I would be bathing in the sun on Paopu Island right now, safe, healthy and happy. But instead...

I looked back out of the window and watched the neon lights of the city speed past in a blur of color. This god forsaken city had cause Sora and me so much pain. My first time meeting up here with him that day... in district 3... when I thought he'd forgotten about me. That had started all of this. This unbreakable chain of events that's got my life spiraling down 60 miles an hour towards Hell. It just never ends... no matter how hard I try to just be happy something comes along and fucks things all up. And worse thing is that Sora gets dragged into it all. I try desperately not to pull him into the bad things in my life... but somehow he always manages to be there. He never complains and he always wants to help... but I just don't want him subjected to those kinds of things. He doesn't deserve even half of the awful shit that's happened to him. Out of all the people in this world that I've ever known, I can honestly say Sora is a genuinely good person. He always puts others first... Always me... Even after everything I've done....

I think I'd just die if Sora had anything else to tell me. What he'd already reenacted was bad enough. I pray there isn't more. I pray somehow Sora managed to protect himself. I don't understand why he just didn't fight back... wait... yes I do..

I couldn't help but sigh in slight frustration as I realized sickly that... you just can't fight back during something like that. You try with all of the life within you to get away and it just seem futile. The horrid comments, the touching, the smell, the taste... it just drains you of all of the energy you have. The violation is so.... searing that you feel like a limp noodle or something. God I didn't want that... but I just couldn't fight back anymore. It wasn't just that Leon was stronger... it was something else. I can't explain it. But the feeling is terrible, it makes you seem less then human, like a raw piece of meat on display... everyone can touch you and look at you but you can't pull away or hide.

I felt suddenly sick, like throw up sick, and turned away from the window to stare at the floor. That at least was moving in a blur of light. Time to think about something else for a while. Something more pleasant.

Sora's pleasant.

My baby.

I should stop calling him that. He doesn't seem to mind though.

But.. he is my baby.

I hugged him tighter and he cuddled closer. I wonder what he was thinking about before he fell asleep. I know he was thinking about everything that just happened. Sora was a worrier. Even though he was always curious about everything, he'd always worry about what if this, or what if that. And I'd talk him into doing things anyway. He'd always follow me no matter what it was. Just like now. He doesn't get enough credit for the wonderful things that he does. Remember when I was complaining about him being to nice?

Well... I'm glad he's like that.

*yaw.....* ZZZzzzZZZ

-----------

SCREECH!!!

Down Town Traverse!!

I jolted awake, disentangling myself from Riku at the boom of the intercom overhead. God I hated those things. You'd think they could turn them down or something. I sat up and rubbed at my eyes and blearily saw Cloud standing over me. He already had our bags ready to go. I yawned and stood up on wobbly legs.

"We're finally here." Cloud said softly, but loudly enough for me to hear him over other people's conversations. There were a lot of people getting off the train and filling the train dock just outside. I turned back to Riku so wake him and noticed he was already up. He was staring blankly outside the window, studying all of the strange people that inhabited Traverse Town. I wonder what he's looking for. Leon in the crowd maybe....

"Hey Riku." I called and leaned over so I could speak closely to him. He turned to look at me. "Come on." I said and held out my hand and smiled. Riku took my hand without hesitation and I pulled him up gently. Cloud took my hand again and led us off the train. It was plainly obvious the moment we were on flat ground that we weren't in uptown anymore. Everything was practically glowing here. I don't mean that sinister liquor store neon sign glow. I mean, a soft white holiday light glow. The kind that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Downtown was clearly the suburbs. The streets were sparkly clean, everyone seemed to have this smile on there face like they were the happiest people in the world. It made me wonder what drugs they were on and could I have some. I just felt... so content and safe here. We weren't even to Cloud's house yet. Riku was staring around, just as in awe as I was.

"This is Traverse Town Square." Cloud started saying as he took a few steps forward. He seemed to still be getting used to the sight of eternal Christmas as well. "Sometimes..." He said and whirled around to look at me and Riku. His glowing blue eyes were pulsing with a vibrancy I'd never seen in them. He was smiling like a little kid at a candy store and It made my heart suddenly fill with joy.

"...There are parades that fill the entire square." He threw his arms out and looked heavenward. "There's floats bigger then whales and the music is so uplifting and loud you just want to get up and dance and sing, even if you don't know how too." He looked back down at us. "The light's are of every color of the rainbow and they make the entire city glow." He turned away and took a breath, a puff of frozen air filtered up momentarily. "Everyone comes to see! Everyone is laughing and smiling! You just... feel so safe and like you have a place in the world. During the parades... there's no pain. Just joy." Cloud turned back to us and I saw a sparkle in his eyes. A sparkle of tears. Why was he crying? I found myself staring and wondering suddenly.

"I came here... so I could get away from my past, from my pain. I didn't think there was anywhere that I could ever go that would make me forget. And then, I found this place." Cloud stared down at his reflection on the wet cement of the sidewalk. The lights from the city framed the back of his head like a feathery halo and just for a moment Cloud looked like an angel. I felt a tear stream down my face and absently wiped it away. Cloud was right, in this place, we could be happy. I could feel it in my soul. It was like back in district one, where I felt lost and alone and oh so cold. It's like I'd stepped into another world, and I liked it very much.

"Riku." I said and turned to look at him. I gaped slightly at him. He had his back to me and his shoulders were hunched up. He trembled, from what, I have no idea, because it wasn't cold here.

"Riku." I said again and stepped forward. Cloud was watching us silently. I looked around Riku's shoulder, his head was bowed in what seemed like the ultimate defeat and he was making pained noises in his throat. "Riku?" I said questioningly and put my hands on his back to console him. I didn't know what was wrong. Had Cloud said something that had upset him?

"I...." Riku breathed. His voice was brimming with pain from him forcefully holding back tears. I leaned in to listen to him.

"What's wrong. It's okay hon, you're safe now." I said. I'd meant it too. No matter what.

I couldn't see Riku's face because of his hood but I saw the tears start to stream down in waves then. The splashed silently against the pavement, just catching the city lights and looking like diamonds before they shattered into a million glowing little shards. People were crowding around us slowly with concerned expressions on their faces. I could hear them asking me what was wrong with my friend and was he okay. I didn't know what to say. Complete strangers were worried about us.

"I..." Riku forced again. I couldn't take it anymore and pulled him into a tight embrace. He gripped onto me like I was going to suddenly be wisped away. "You what baby/ Please tell me. What's wrong?" I spoke into his cheek before I pulled back and looked him in the face. His eyes were closed but tears were still streaming freely.

"I.... want to forget..." He finally gasped and openly started to sob. He wobbled and I helped him to his knees. Cloud came over to us and kneeled down but remained silent. He just looked at me like he knew this would happen. Is this what he'd meant about feeling accepted. Did this place make you feel this good, that it forced you to rid yourself of your sorrows? I knew about Cloud's past. I'm still shocked he's gotten over it. I didn't understand why I hadn't broken down. Or maybe... there was no reason for me too, because, I'd already been healed.

A women came up and asked me to my face if Riku was okay. I turned to her and looked into her eyes. I felt like I knew her, she had a face of complete and pure honesty. A mother's face. I grinned slowly and told her.

"Yes, yes he is. Thank you."

To continue.

Good, Bad, Review Please.

Er... this was supposed to be longer then this. But about half way through I started crying for some reason. I couldn't seem to add anymore but I feel this is a good place to end this chapter. Riku is just so.... his emotions are so powerful to me. I don't know why. So how do you guys like my take on Down Town Traverse hmm? I don't remember where I got the idea from, I just know I wanted the scenery to basically be the total opposite of uptown Traverse. I needed a new setting for where Sora and Riku heal. It makes sense. I am very much getting the urge to draw that little image of angel Cloud. Should I huh huh? :P Heh, till next time.