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*This chapter will disturb you. It made me go "hmmmm?"*
Chapter 13
"It's Leon. He's looking for the two of you."
I think I almost swallowed my tongue when Cloud uttered those simple words. The words scared me beyond all rational belief and I felt like I'd pass out from emotionally over heating.
Leon was looking for us.
Leon had hurt Aeris looking for us.
It's been almost 2 months.. what could he possibly want?
I looked at Cloud and gave him a questioning expression. He shook his head slightly.
"I.. can only guess why Riku. Considering the extremes he went to towards Aeris... I don't even want to speculate it. You guys are safe here."
I chewed my bottom lip. "How can you be so sure?" I stood up. "I mean.. didn't Leon used to be some kind of special soldier general person or something? He could easily figure out where you live.. And what if Aeris told." I started to pace while waiting for Cloud's reply. Sora was watching me walk back and forth in a daze. I think he's in shock.
"Aeris doesn't know where I live." Cloud said simply and I stopped pacing to look at him. "There are thousands of apartment complexes downtown. We'd know Leon was coming before he stepped into the city anyway." Cloud was pulling on his jacket. He was explaining things calmly and rationally. Too calmly. Either he wasn't worried or he was a hell of an actor. I figured he was keeping himself under control for me and Sora's sake though.
"Aeris told me the police have put an A.O.D out on him." I blanked. What the hell did that mean?
"Apprehend on description." Cloud explained. I nodded in understanding as he continued. "Aeris described what Leon looked like to the police. They're looking for him. There's a warrant for his arrest." Cloud pulled on his gloves. "Forced entry, Assault, Attempted sexual assault, and attempted murder."
Sora and I gasped in unison. Assult? Rape? Murder? Leon had tried to kill Aeris... Over us... Whoa whoa... Okay...
I had told Sora earlier that day about Cloud knowing of our rapes. He didn't seem upset or worried about things though. I still found it hard to swallow how easily Sora just seemed to dismiss all of this. Leon had hurt us. Sora either just didn't realize that, or didn't want to realize it.
"Aeris... hasn't told the police about Leon raping us has she?" I asked in slight apprehension. I still wasn't ready for the police to know about that. I was ready for the questions or the looks yet. Cloud shook his head.
"No. She started to but that's why she called me. They asked her why Leon would attack her.. You know... his reason behind it. She thinks we should report it now."
Oh... now that she's been hurt she wants to tell the police?
I ran my hands through my hair to calm myself.
I... shouldn't be so mean.. But still...
Man...
*sigh*
Fuck....
This isn't happening.
It just isn't...
".... But Aeris is going to be okay right?" Sora asked meekly and came to stand by me. He was wide awake. His clear baby blue eyes reflected pure terror and confusion. I pulled him to me and kissed his forehead. He's shaking really hard.
"I.. don't know yet. I was just told to come to her house ASAP." Cloud sighed deeply and rubbed his face. We were all silent for long moments when we heard a car horn honk once from outside. I went to the window to see a shiny black sports car parked in front of our building. Sephiroth got out of the car and looked up. He saw me and waved slightly.
"I gotta go." Cloud said and started walking to the door. Sora and I followed him in a silent single file line.
"If you need anything just call me, I'll have my cell on okay. I'll try to call every half an hour to check on you guys and update you about Aeris ." Cloud gave me a somber smile.
"Things are going to be fine. Just...try not to worry to much." He ruffled Sora's hair and tapped my shoulder slightly before he walked out of the door. I heard him turning on the alarm system from outside. That meant we couldn't leave and no one but Cloud could come in. We couldn't turn off the system from inside the apartment. I locked the dead bolts and chain before turning to Sora and raising my eyebrows with a sigh.
"This.. has been some day huh?" I asked softly. He didn't say anything and just snuggled up to me by the doorway. I knew he was worried about Aeris and scared about Leon. I was worried too. Things just didn't seem to want to get better. But why now? After all of this time why did Leon want us? And why was he attacking our friends and associates like this? They had noting to do with this really.
"Sora..." I started. He didn't look up at me but made a soft 'hm' sound in his throat. I started to walk us back to our bedroom before I continued.
"Is.. there anyway Leon might have over heard you telling Aeris about what he did to you?" I was just curious. If my suspicions were right then that would explain why he'd attacked her.
"I.. don't think he did... I didn't talk about it on the phone to her... Just when I was at her house..." Sora was climbing back into bed and curling under the blanket. He looked like a little boy to me then. He was so scared. I didn't know what to do to make him feel better.
"Leon can't find us. We're safe okay." I soothed and got under the blankets. I didn't turn off the light or close our bedroom door. I had to be fully aware of what was going on in the apartment. ... We need a dog... really do.
"Wanna see what's on TV?" I asked trying to lighten the mood. Sora nodded but didn't speak and I turned on the TV with the remote. As soon as the screen flicked on the news came on. It was one of those reporting live news casts. I started at the screen blankly for a moment before I turned the channel. The same news cast was on that channel. I turned again to find the same thing.
What the fuck...?
I leaned forward and read the bi-line on the bottom of the screen. It had a location and time there. Sora suddenly set up and crawled hastily to the end of the bed. I watched him in utter surprise. His actions were so strange. I blinked really hard and stared at the back of his head before I could think of what to ask him.
"Um... you see something interesting?"
Sora glanced back at me. His eyes were wide and haunted. I scooted to the end of the bed and touched his shoulder.
"That's Aeris's house." He said softly pointing to the TV. My head snapped to watch the screen and I repeatedly hit the volume button. Oh my lord... something worse then what we thought must have happened if this was on the news. Please let Aeris be okay.
A skinny pale women was on the screen. She had a huge furry winter coat on and a scarf covering almost all of her face. Her glasses were frosted over and her lips looked parched from the cold. She held her microphone stiffly in her hand as she shivered.
"This is Nancy Andrews reporting live from Uptown Traverse." She chattered. "In this cozy cottage like house behind me.." She moved aside and waved slightly at Aeris's house. "...only moment ago a brutal attack took place. 25 year old Aeris Gainsborough was viciously attacked. The young women had just come home from work to find a cryptic message on her answering machine by her assailant, who soon revealed himself as Squall LeonHeart. LeonHeart tried to innocently talk her way into Gainsborough's home and she politely refused to allow him entry. She tells us he forced his way into her home by breaking her front door down. Miss Gainsborough says she attempted to call the police but LeonHeart had destroyed her phone line."
The newswomen was standing in front of Aeris's front door now and she was allowing the camera to get angles of the broken chain and bent hinges. Sora and I winced at that. Leon had really forced his way in.
"After LeonHeart had managed to get into the house Gainsborough says she ran an a attempt to get away. LeonHeart followed her and cornered her in her own bedroom where
brutally slapped her and proceeded to sexually assault her."
Sora had tears in his eyes. I pulled him to me and continued to watch.
"LeonHeart threatened to kill Gainsborough and pulled an army brand pocket knife on her. She was injured, gaining a deep cut across her right cheek and a puncture in her stomach. The paramedics say she will only need a few stitches however."
The reporter was standing in Aeris's living room now. I could see police officers and paramedics hovering in the background. They were talking, dusting, searching, and doing various other things. I didn't see Aeris anywhere though.
"Gainsborough says Leon had proceeded to stab her to death when 19 year old Tim Jennings snuck up behind him. Jennings says he'd been worried for Gainsborough's safety and had come to check on her after closing his small convenience store sometime later. He says he discovered the front door broken in and went in to find out what was wrong. He used a lamp to stop LeonHearts attack.
I turned off the TV then. Aeris had been saved. She was okay... But.. Leon had gotten away. Again... And now he had at least a small clue as to where Sora and I were hiding. This wasn't good... wasn't good at all.
Sora was latching onto me like I was a life supporter. His small frame quivered harshly against my side. I don't know if he was scared for us or from what happened to Aeris. Both probably.
"Baby.." I soothed and turned to pull him into my arms. He buried his face into my shirt and I thought he was crying until he looked up at me.
"Riku... ...He wants to kill us... doesn't he...?" He asked in flat haunting tone. I was getting worried about his behavior as of late. He acted... in ways he shouldn't during certain situations. It bothered me. But how to answer his question. Oh yes Sora, Leon wants to slit our throats with a rusty razor blade and dump us in the river.... I shivered and tightened my grip on Sora.
"....maybe..." Was all I could manage. Sora didn't say anything else and we just set there in silence until we both fell asleep. I had a lot of nightmares. Most of them involving Leon. Sora... he was hurting Sora... and I couldn't stop him. I was right there in the room but I couldn't move or cry out to him. Sora kept looking at me like I was crazy for not coming to help him. But I couldn't move... and Leon was... raping him again.... Seeing it like that... And then Leon pulled this knife from out of nowhere and... and...
Leon told me... it was my fault.
And then I dreamed I was hurting Sora. We really hadn't resolved anything from the other day. It just kinda got pushed aside in all of the ruckus that had suddenly flared up. Sora and I really needed to talk. I can't even begin to describe how disgusted I am with myself about last night. I took advantage of Sora... I did...
And you know it too!
It... seems like it happened a long time ago though. I think Sora was over me hitting him. He really did just want to let it go. Maybe I was wrong from bringing it back up. I mean... he didn't seem hurt by it anymore..
But I was hurt!
And that's when the other nightmare started. Sora and I were about to have sex. I could tell because.. well we were both naked and in a bed. Sora was inching away from my every touch but I just kept advancing on him... You know... I hope I don't really act towards Sora in real life, like how I was acting towards him in my dream... because I was really forcing him to do a lot of things he didn't seem like he wanted to do. Was I like that in real life towards him? Sora looked so terrified of me. I was pinning him down and literally forcing myself onto him.. into him.. and he just cried and cried.... and begged me to stop... and I didn't....
I just kept going....
Faster and faster and faster....
Until Sora was sobbing at the top of his lungs....
And he was screaming so hard that blood was spilling over his lips and I kissed him with so much passion and lust that I could taste the copper of his blood and the salt of his tears. I kept whispering softly but forcefully that he was 'mine' that he belonged to 'me'.
Forever...
And he went limp and then instantly cold and snow pale underneath me. I called his name and shook his body but he didn't stir. And I noticed horrified that his beautiful sea blue eyes were black and hallow but still spilling tears.. and his blood stained lips hung open with a last lingering silent scream...
...begging me to stop...
And then he twitched so unnaturally in my arms that I recoiled from him. His empty eyes looked directly at me and somehow I saw my reflection in them. I was covered in Sora's blood.
"Leon..."
He called me...
"Leon..."
He was calling me Leon...
"I love you..."
And I woke up in a cold sweat.....
-----------
Cloud
-----------
I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep my rage in check. Every time I look at Sora and Riku I think of what Leon has done to them. I consider those two my responsibility, my brothers, my children, whatever. They're under my care... and I didn't notice before now. I should have figured... whatever made them run so quickly from living with Leon... but not in my wildest dreams could I have thought it to be something like this.
Rape...
I ran a hand across my face and stared out the window. Cars and buildings whipped past us in a streak of color. The soft rumble of the engine was soothing to me and help me think rationally. Seph was staring blankly forward as he drove. He hadn't asked me what was going on. I'd just called him as soon as I got off of the phone with Aeris and told him to come and get me. I didn't tell what had happened yet. He gave me an odd look when I got in the car. I tried to smile and not look so tense and worried but it was hard. I was so mad right now I was shaking. Leon had gone after Aeris.... the bastard... he'd hurt her... the bastard...
"You're trembling." Seph said softly and put his free hand over mine, which rested on my knee. I looked at him and gave him a forced smile.
"I'm... just a little anxious... that's all." I said softly. Sephiroths eyes darted to me for a second then focused back on the road.
"Is Aeris alright?" He asked me. I heard the concern in his voice. He was worried about what had happened, and why I was acting like this. I sighed and rested back against my seat.
"I... I don't know. She just told me to get to her place right away..." I said and closed my eyes. Seph removed his hand and tucked his hair behind his ear before he asked.
"This may be none of my business but I have to ask. Does this have something to do with Sora and Riku."
I opened my eyes and looked at my lover. He was so perceptive. But... it's not like it wasn't obvious. I mean.... I did just kind of move two teenage boys into my apartment one day. Something had to have been going on...
I should have asked sooner... forced it out of them...
"It's... it's about Leon." I started. Oh god... if I told him this... Seph knew who Leon was. He'd never met him, but he'd seen him from a distance. I never told him I used to... er... that Leon and I used to be bed buddies. Sephiroth didn't turn to look at me but I saw him frown. He told me he didn't like Leon much. That there was something off about him.
He was right...
"What about him?" Seph said after a second. I swallowed hard and bit my lip. Seph looked at me fully when I didn't respond.
"Cloud." He said. I scratched the back of my neck and turned back to look at him. He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
"....Leon....he... I don't know if I should tell you." I started and hunched my shoulders. Sephiroth smirked and looked back at the road.
"What? That you and him used to be lovers."
I gaped and turned back to him with wide eyes. "How... did you know?" I asked stiffly. That.... wasn't something I wanted him to know about. I was ashamed as it was... Leon... was every bodies lover. Sephiroth shrugged and tilted his head.
"I didn't." He breathed and smiled. "You just told me." He flashed a grin at me and I fumed. Argg... he always did that. I should have known. But..
"You... don't mind?" I asked in surprise. But... well... why would he anyway. It's not like he knew about Leons reputation.
"No, I don't.". He said and reached out to stroke my cheek. I felt better at that. My nerves had calmed a bit as well. How lucky was I to be with a guy like him? I mean... besides how he looks. He's got a great personality and he's so loving. I kind or wish were weren't in a rush to get to Aeris's house or that it was an emergency. Otherwise I'd tell him to go to his place and we'd... well.. you know... heheheheh.
"Was that it?" He asked with a hint of curiosity in his voice. I went tense again. Somehow I'd managed to worm my way out of this discussion the first time... or had he been the one to change the subject?
"Leon did something to Riku and Sora didn't he"
Sephiroth wasn't asking. He knew. He just wanted to hear me say it. He had a way of discerning things around him way too well. It scared me sometimes.
"I heard you guys talking about it." He suddenly said. And I frowned at him then.
"When... how..?" I asked. Hell... I'd only found out about it like... 2 days ago. How had he overheard? He'd never been around when I talked to Aeris or Riku about it.
"Your phone. After you called me to tell me to come and get you, you never hung up. When I tried to call and tell you I was pulling up in front of your place my line was still connected to yours. You must have had your cell phone in your hand... because I heard you talking to them about Leon. And what he did to them."
I started to think back to everything I'd said to Riku and Sora when I went in their room. When had we mentioned their rape? I don't remember... oh yeah...
"Aeris... hasn't told the police about Leon raping us has she?"
Riku had asked me...
"No. She started to but that's why she called me. They asked her why Leon would attack her.. You know... his reason behind it. She thinks we should report it now."
I looked at Seph and pursed my lips. For some reason, now that Sephiroth knew, I felt more helpless. I thought I'd feel better but I wasn't.. not at all. I blamed myself for what happened. I should have let Riku and Sora stay with me from the beginning. They never should have moved in with someone like Leon.
"Leon... is after them?" Sephiroth asked softly. I nodded and pursed my lips.
"....He wants to kill them Seph." I breathed sadly and I wrapped my arms around his free one and rested my forehead on his shoulder. I was so lost now. Aeris had been hurt and Leon was still free to do as he pleased. If only I'd known sooner I could have stopped this from happening.
"Well, now that Leon has a warrant out for his arrest... this may be the best time to report Sora and Riku's rape. But Riku and Sora have to testify to them.... You telling won't be enough."
Oh just great... Yeah right... Riku didn't even want the police to know... How could I talk him into telling at all. And Sora... I don't think he even cares anymore. Which is strange.. I really think I need to ask him about that.
"...I'll see..." I said just as we turned into Aeris's drive way. There were so many police cars around I started to get scared. God... what had happened? All of this for one person?
A police officer came up the car as Seph parked it and got out. The cop asked me who I was and started to lead me inside. I turned to look at Sephiroth, to tell him to follow, but he was already behind me. I saw blood on the snow and my heart felt like it stopped. Was... that from Aeris. The police officer lead us inside and trail continued. I noticed though that it was headed back in the opposite direction. Hmmm.
"We've still gotta clean that up." The officer said. I looked at him with wide eyes. "Some kid beat the shit out of that LeonHeart guy. We followed the blood trail up until it just disappeared. We figure he managed to stop it. But considering the severity of his injury, from what Miss Gainsborough told us, he'll be out of commission for a while."
That was Leon's blood. I felt slightly relieved at that. So he wouldn't be attacking or trying anything any time soon. That was some good news. But I hadn't seen Aeris yet. I wonder how bad her injuries are. I heard her voice from down the hall to her room and picked up my pace. There was a ruckus in the background and I heard some things fall over and clatter to the floor. Sepiroth had stopped behind me and was looking at the disarray in the kitchen with a glint of curiosity in his eye. I didn't stop to ask him what he was doing though. When I turned into Aeris's room she looked up at me through tired but bright green eyes. I ran to her and pulled her into a hug and she returned my embrace.
"Cloud... I'm so glad you're here now." She breathed and held onto me tightly. I thought she was about to cry but she just sniffled instead and pulled her blanket tighter around her.
"Are you okay?" I asked in concern and pulled back to look at her. She smiled slightly as I brushed a strand of her wavy chestnut hair from her face. I smiled for a moment but it faded when I saw the large bandage on the left side of her face. I ran a finger just barely over the wrappings and scowled.
Leon.
He did this to her.
He hurt her.
And the boys.
Leon.
My rage must have been radiating because Aeris took my face into her hands and called my name softly. I blinked, startled, and looked at her.
"The boys... he wants to know where they are.." She whispered. A police officer was hovering by the door way and giving us an odd look. I glared at him and he turned away.
"I didn't tell them anything yet... but they want to know.. why Leon..."
Aeris started again, but I cut her off.
"We're going to tell them what happened." I said sternly. Aeris looked surprised for brief second but then she nodded in understanding. It was high time we settled this whole terrible situation once and for all. Riku and Sora where tired of being scared. Aeris was now in fear for her life. And there was no telling what Leon's deranged crazy ass would do next.
But I know him...
Leon... from the little time I was with him. He's... strange. Not the strange that you'd find interesting... just.. strange. He says things... normal people wouldn't say... and does things normal people wouldn't do...
I don't know how to explain it.
But... there has always been something off about him to me...
I... should have noticed it sooner.
Sephiroth finally stepped into the room and the lone police officer tried to stop him. Aeris and I watched, in some slight shock, as Seph gave the cop an up and down look and the man nearly slipped as he tried to scramble away from him.
Okay... that was... different...
"How are you?" Sephiroth said softly and kneeled down in front of Aeris. She smiled at him and shrugged.
"Okay.. I guess... um..." She faltered and gave me a questioning look. Aeris had met Seph back when we first started going out, but she wasn't sure if he knew about everything that was going on.
"He knows." I told her softly. Aeris looked back at my lover and bit her lip.
"So now.. you're in danger too.." She uttered sadly. Sephiroth smiled for some reason and shook his head.
"Don't worry about me." He stood up and walked over to the lone window in the room and became silent. For some odd reason... the way he was acting was bothering me. I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow.
"....What were you looking at in the kitchen?" I asked. Seph glanced at me for a brief moment before he turned and reached into his coat.
"I found something interesting." He walked over to me and sat down on the bed.
"Did you notice anything missing from your house when you first came home Aeris?" He was ignoring my questioning gaze at him. I was watching his concealed hand with interest. What had he found? And what.... why would he bring it up at a time like this?
Aeris blinked in confusion but seemed to be mentally running over all of her belongings in her head. She shook it after a moment.
"Er... no... I mean.. I wasn't really paying attention. Why?"
Sephiroth turned just slightly on the bed so he could look at Aeris better as he spoke.
"Leon was looking for something. I doubt he had time to search after attacking you. He's tried to break in your house before tonight though."
I made a face. Out of shock and confusion. How the hell did Seph know this? I looked at Aeris and she seemed to be wondering the same thing. This was all just... too weird.
"I don't think you noticed it, but the dead bolt on your back door had been broken completely off. The only thing keeping your door locked was the small lock on the door knob. I'm assuming that takes a special key right?"
Aeris nodded. Her face was one of pure shock.
"Did you unlock your dead bolt when you came home?" Sephiroth asked. I frowned and looked at Aeris. She started at her hands for a second in concentration, then her eyes widened and she looked up at Sephiroth.
"No.... I just... used the bottom lock's key... I never.. even noticed."
Okay.. Seph.. are you gonna explain what's going on now or what? That's what I wanted to ask. But I was too in awe of his detective skills.
"When Cloud and I came in, the police were searching your kitchen. You had a bunch of boxes stacked up near the back door."
Aeris nodded slowly.
"What's in them?" Seph asked and lowered his eye lashes. He was about to tell us about his findings as soon as Aeris answered his question. I waited silently in anticipation.
"Old newspapers and magazine clippings. I.... Leon gave them to me so I could use the paper in some my arts and crafts..."
Sephiroth smiled just slightly and pulled a tattered old... it looked like a diary, about the size of notebook, but thicker then a photo album, out from under his jacket. It was busting at the seams from being over stuffed with papers and notes.
"I believe Leon was looking for this." Seph said and handed the book to Aeris. She ran her hands over the cover and frowned.
"Then why did he attack me?" She asked softly and squinted. "And why would he want this old..."
"I think that's his journal." Seph corrected her. "I believe he's been trying to get it back from you. Maybe... he was afraid to ask for it. I don't know. But this is part of the reason, I'm sure, he wanted to get into your house. I believe he attacked you... because he was frustrated."
I looked at Sephiroth with a startled expression. Was he.. defending Leon?
"Frustrated?" I hissed and turned my body fully around so I could talk directly to him.
"That's gives him reason to nearly kill her?" I wasn't really snapping at Seph...but just the thought of that being Leon's only defense for hurting Aeris... it was ridiculous!
Sephiroth wasn't bothered by my slight outburst. He took my face into his hands and kissed my forehead.
"Calm down. Listen. Do you remember how I told you something was off about Leon. Well.. I managed to snatch up a few of those news paper clippings from the boxes while the police were busy trying to clean up the mess...." Sephiroth paused and looked slightly uneasy.
"One of them... was from about... 20 years ago..." He said and unfolded a piece of very old tattered paper. I could barely read the words they were so faded. But there was a clear picture at the bottom of the article. Seph had his hand over it though. On purpose too.
We were all kids then. I was.. about 4... man that was a long time ago. But Leon was... about 8 or 9 then.. I think.
"The clipping was about a little boy. A foster child. It seems as though his foster father was...an alcoholic, abusive, into drugs... and that he sold his son for sex... to get the drugs..." Seph pursed his lips and handed me the newspaper clipping.
"Cloud... Leon... Squall... is a rape victim himself."
I started wide eyed at the 9 year old boy in the photograph. He had those piercing almost colorless eyes, which looked even more empty from the picture being black and white, and that unkempt dark hair.
It was Leon... It was Squall. The same man I knew... Only as a boy...
He was looking at the camera like he wanted it to burst into flames at that moment... and he looked so miserable. I felt a pain in my throat for some reason and ran a finger over Leon's past image.
A little boy...
Just like Sora and Riku...
It felt like something sharp was in my throat... and my eyes started to hurt. I don't know why.. but this just bothered me to no end....I was starting to feel.. sorry for Leon.
"Cloud... you know what this means?" Seph had put his hand over the picture to block it from my view.
"He's sick. Mentally sick."
I looked around at Aeris and noticed tears streaming down her face. For all of this time.. since I'd known about what happened to Riku and Sora.. I'd never questioned it.. I never once questioned why Leon would have done it. There are many reasons why someone would rape a person. All of them are stupid reasons at that... but they all involve one simple thing.
Control.
It's not for the sexual thrill, about the rapist being crazy, or even an attraction to the victim. It's all about control.
Leon... was a victim.. and he must have never talked about it or got help... because now... he was doing the same thing.
I... don't know if I can even go to the police now... Knowing this...
Leon... was alone...
He'd been hurt too... was this his way of getting revenge? By hurting other people? What had Riku an Sora done to him anyway? That's just it.. they'd done nothing. Just like how he had done nothing to his foster father.
What am I gonna do...
How am I going to tell Sora and Riku...
Especially Riku...
"There's more..." Seph said softly and took the book from Aeris. He opened it and flipped to a page with lots of color photos. A bunch of people I didn't know were in the pictures. I saw Cid in one and noticed how young he looked. These must have been from.. maybe ten years ago. I was busy looking at all of the other peoples faces and trying to place them but I just couldn't.
"They're all dead. Slain by the Heartless." Seph whispered. I frowned sadly at that. That bit of information had hurt me for some reason.
Then on one picture, with 2 boys sitting under a cherry blossom tree, one of them had short blonde hair, caught my eye. I recognized the blonde from pictures Leon had in a photo album in his room. The other boy in the picture was Leon. His hair was shorter, he didn't have that scar across his face either... he had to be no older then about 16. He was... smiling. I'd never seen him do that. He had a.. beautiful smile.
It was trapped in time... and something had happened to make his smile fade forever...
"It was... all a lie.." Seph started. Aeris and I looked at him. He wasn't looking at the photos anymore. He... seemed to just know this by heart or something. But.. how could he?
"Squall was... 17. He had been adopted again. I remember... he lived near by." Seph gave me a haunted look. My eyes widened.
What the fuck???
"I.. wasn't his friend or anything. He just.. lived nearby. He was dating Seifer, the blonde in the picture.... I remember... they were always together... they were always happy. But I always noticed that when people weren't around things with them were different. Squall seemed so afraid of Seifer, and he was always saying sorry for every little thing. Seifer abused Squall. I saw it once... it was on the same day they took that picture." Seph nodded towards the photograph of the 2 boys under the cherry blossom tree.
"I was there...." He uttered in a breathy tone. "Yes... behind a bush taking a nap..."
Seph was only about 14 then.
"I heard 2 male voices arguing. No one else was around. I just turned to look at see what was going on. Squall and Seifer were about 10 feet away. I could hear everything. Seifer had slammed Squall into one of the tree trunks and was holding him by the throat. He looked so vicious.. like he'd kill Squall at any minute. Squall was shaking his head but wasn't fighting back. I heard Seifer tell him... that "Squall was his... forever," and then he just hit him.. He just hit Squall and threw him to the ground. I was just a kid... I really didn't know what to do....but I think... No... Seifer hurt Squall....."
Seph made the most anguished expression I'd ever seen in my life. I could only imagine how recalling this... seemingly terrible memory..., looked inside of Seph's head.
Terrible.
"Right there.. out in the open... There was blood, lots of it. I didn't stay to watch... and Squall didn't ask Seifer to stop..."
Sephiroth looked me in the eye and bit his lip. I'd never seen him look so helpless and guilty. He was regretting something from a long time ago.
"I wanted to say something.... To make Seifer stop.. but I was a kid. Seifer would have... I don't know what he would have done. And he wouldn't have listened to me. I even tried to report it to the police. They laughed at me..." Sephiroth paused and frowned at the pictures. Aeris and I gaped in silence.
I... couldn't believe it.
"Seifer...." He started again and seemed to have to think really hard about what he was going to say next.
"He... just died... one day."
I gasped without meaning to. Aeris's eyes were bugging.
"Squall left after that. I think that's when he met you Cloud. In Hallow Bastion. That's when he became Leon." Seph was giving me a slightly dazed expression. It seemed like it had been difficult for him to recall all of these things. Like it just only dawned on him.
"Why.. didn't you mention this before?" I asked.. I had to be sure though.
Seph shook his head slightly and blinked. "I didn't know who Leon was. I'd always known him as Squall. It was only after I saw him from afar that I... felt like I'd seen him some where before."
Small world huh? This was just freaking me out. So.... Leon.. er... Squall... was a victim himself....
He was an innocent...
Just like Sora and Riku....
Fuck!
-----------
Sora
-----------
I'd been up for about an hour staring into the shadows of our pitch black room. I couldn't seem to sleep even though I felt really tired. I was content with just being able to rest though so I didn't try to force myself to get comfortable. I heard Riku whimper slightly and turned to look at his back. He was shaking just slightly in his sleep. I started to reach out and try to comfort him. I sat up and inched over to him slowly. I didn't want to wake him.
"...no..."
I froze and let my hand hover in mid air over Riku's shoulder. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or not. Had he seen my shadow somehow.
"...no..."
He breathed again. And I noticed the fear in his voice. What was he dreaming about? Riku always had nightmares... but I knew then what those had been about. I wonder what Riku sees in his dreams now.
Leon...
I let my hand fall to my side. The rape would haunt him for the rest of his life I knew. Even in his waking hours Riku was shaky and timid towards me. Even in the instances that he did hold me he hesitated. Like he didn't know what to do. I.... thought we'd resolved all of this yesterday...
Wait...
That's right.... we hadn't finished talking. Riku had run off to the kitchen...
Sephiroth.
A detour. He'd interrupted our talk. Not knowingly. But still. We really hadn't resolved anything. And... I just realized that Riku hadn't brought it back up. Maybe.. maybe he just wanted to let it go now....
Or maybe...
The phone rang .
Riku reached over suddenly and picked it up. He'd done it so quickly I wasn't sure if he actually really been asleep at all. I heard him murmur a sleepy hello and I laid back down. He glanced at me and mouthed the word "Cloud." I nodded and snuggled back into the blankets and pillows. I noticed vaguely that Riku looked rather pale and uneasy. Probably from his nightmares.
Riku nodded and said 'yeah' a few times into the phone before he asked.
"So... what about tomorrow?"
I perked up. Hmm, this was new. What about tomorrow?
"No... I really don't want to go..." Riku was frowning. I was unsure of what he was talking about.
"You can't go by yourself." Riku sounded worried for moment. I sat up and gave him a questioning look. He glanced at me but didn't say anything. That annoyed me a bit.
"Oh... you told him...?" Riku asked, and his face darkened slightly. Uh oh.. that didn't sound good. What and who had Cloud told? This had something to do with the rapes.
"He's going with you?" Riku asked meekly. And I saw a blush burst across his face. I frowned and glared at the phone.
What the fuck....
Who the hell were they talking about. And why was Riku blushing.
"Er... tell him I said thanks... Yeah.. I will. Okay. Bye." Riku hung up the phone and sat it down it's stand by the bed. I gazed steadily at him until he noticed me. He yawned and scratched his head before he responded.
"Aeris is fine. She's going to stay with Cid for while."
I raised any eyebrow. Okay.. that was great.. Really it was. Aeris was okay. Now... go on.
"What's happening tomorrow that you don't want to go to?" I asked stiffly. Riku closed his eyes and sighed under his breath.
"Cloud and I... we're going to go to... Leon's house..."
I frowned and leaned forward.
"Why?" I hissed. What the heck? Leon's house. Why did he want to go there after what just happened?
"We'd.. discussed his before Leon had even attacked Aeris, Sora. Look... Cloud was thinking that maybe some evidence of my rape is still at the house.... If we find some.. we can press charges against Leon and have him put in prison."
I blinked and then frowned.
Riku made it sound so simple. Just find some left over cum from Leon and everything would be fine. Would it really? Would Leon being behind bars really make Riku happy?
"So... if you're not going with Cloud.. who is?" I think I know the answer. I just want to hear Riku say it. Then I'll know why he was blushing.
"Sephiroth is. He.. volunteered I guess. Cloud told him everything." Riku had lain back down and was ready to go back to sleep. The fact that he wasn't freaking out and yelling about Cloud telling his boyfriend, the way he had when he'd found out about Aeris knowing, made me angry. We actually knew Aeris, she wasn't a total stranger. Riku and I had only met Sephiroth yesterday. Cloud obviously trusted the man... enough to tell him.
But he could have asked us first.
Sephiroth....
He knew now... about the rapes.
That mad me really mad.
Where did Cloud get off telling everyone our business? Now every time I see that man... he's going to be giving me and Riku that pitying look. Like he understands what we're going through. Like he can help...
Riku didn't seem to feel the way I did. He'd even told Cloud to thank Sephiroth.
To thank him... Riku hadn't been happy that Aeris knew. What could Sephiroth do anyway? He couldn't change the past, or make us forget. He was just as helpless as everyone else. But Riku seemed okay with him knowing... even over the police knowing... Why was that?
What's so special about Sephitroth?
I laid down slowly and pulled the blankets up over my legs. I was getting so upset I felt sweaty and hot. I wanted to yell at Riku for some odd reason. I swear if he touches me I'm going to smack him one...
He just didn't understand anything...
I saw the looks, the blushing, the way he got all timid and shy. Riku acted like me when ever Sephiroth was around. He got a giggly and soft spoken...
Riku...
Sephiroth...
Riku...
...liked him...
He liked Sephiroth. That's why I was starting to feel uneasy about him being around. He was Cloud's boyfriend.. and this was Cloud's place, so I couldn't stop him from coming over. But... he seemed a little to nice to Riku. Like he could tell Riku had a thing for him. He made Riku act in ways I could never manage. He made Riku weak and helpless. Just by looking at him..
I couldn't compete with a man like that.
I couldn't.
I'd worked to hard to get things back to being okay. This man wasn't going to steal Riku from me. Riku tried to hide his attraction. But I could see it. I could practically feel it in the air.
Riku...
Don't leave me...
Please...
-----------
Riku
-----------
The day came and went and we were in bed. Cloud had called back once that day to check on us. He'd told me he hadn't gotten to the house just yet to search, that he had to clear some things up with the police with Aeris first and that he was sleeping over at Sephiroth's place tonight. Sleeping over. Just sleeping. Maybe I shouldn't think about what they'd be doing... but I think it's pretty obvious. If they aren't having sex.. something's just wrong.. or maybe they want to get married first...
I couldn't help but think.. the longer we waited to search the house... the closer Leon got to us. I had tried not to worry about all of that mess for just one day though. Sora and I stayed in bed for most of the day. We didn't talk, just watched TV. He was acting strangely. He wouldn't look me in the eye when I called his name. Not that I'd tried to many times. I was still pretty fucked up by that dream I'd had. Why had Sora called me Leon..? It was just a dream and at first I was stressing about it. But now that I was really sitting down and thinking about the nightmare... I was starting to silently freak out.
Sora had called me Leon!
What had did that mean..?
He... said he loved me... no he said he loved Leon... In the dream...
*freaking out*
...I was sleeping restlessly again. The nightmare still fresh in my minds eye. I was trying earnestly to ignore the images. I knew they weren't real... and that Sora was fine... I knew but couldn't stop the visions. I rolled onto my back and felt assured when I felt Sora's very warm body against mine. Further evidence that the dream was just that, a dream.
Sora was fine.
Sora...
Sora...?
???
"Hey..." I started and was silenced by a very passionate and very deep kiss. I blinked and tried to push Sora away. He was clinging to me like a life line and wouldn't let me breath. His eyes were shut and he'd pushed his entire body weight down on me. This was... different...
"Sora..." I gasped as he finally let me go. He was making his way down my body, rubbing his fingers over my chest and past my nipples through my shirt. I felt a jolt of arousal when his nails touched my bare abdomen.
What the hell is he doing!?
"Sora...?" I breathed. I was getting hot despite trying not to. He'd never acted like this. What had brought this on?
"Please..." I heard him whisper meekly. I looked down wide eyed at him. He was looking at me through very awake and aware eyes. But there was something wrong. There was a glint in them I'd never seen before. A glint of desperation.
"Pl...please... what...?" I gasped and he started wrestling with my pants. I swallowed really hard and tried to pull his hands away. Normally I would have just lain back and let him do his work...
"What... are you doing...?" I asked and managed to still his wrists for a second.
Okay... I knew full well what he was doing. He hadn't lowered his face to my groin for nothing.
"Sora stop." I hissed and jerked away from him. He growled at me and knocked my hands away. I gave him an alarmed and slightly angry look. What the fuck is wrong with him?
"Don't make me stop..." He uttered softly and pushed up my shirt. He ran the palms of his hands over my nipples and I gasped in pleasure. I couldn't stop myself. This whole situation was turning me on.. and it was nice that Sora wanted to pleasure me and all... but.. why so sudden and like this? It felt wrong. After that dream I had....This was like last time... when I'd hit him and he suddenly wanted to have sex...
It was further freaking me out...
"I just want to..." He explained and kissed me just below my belly button. My stomach muscles jerked and sent this really odd sensation right down to my groin. I moaned beside myself and flopped back onto my pillow. Sora had pulled my pajama bottoms down and the cool air of our room was tingly against my exposed and highly delicate area. I sat up on my elbows and looked down at Sora with a wide eyed expression. He gave me a gentle childlike smile before he took me into his mouth. His gaze never leaving mine.
My face felt hot and I had to brace myself for the powerful sensation that hit me. I couldn't catch my breath at first and just gasped softly. Sora was running his hands up my chest while he worked and he was making soft cooing noises in the back of his throat. This only further sent me over the edge. What is he trying to do? Sora wasn't the type to just... initiate something like this. He was too timid and shy.. and unsure of himself. He would actually ask me if I wanted him to give me oral sex most of the time. He wouldn't just do it.
"Sora.." I panted and sat up again. This was feeling really good and I really didn't want him to stop. But something about his earlier plea bothered me.
"Sora..." I moaned and ran my hand through his hair. He looked back up at me, but didn't stop. Being able to see him pleasure me made my voice catch in my throat and I completely forgot what I was about to ask him. He smiled around me and started to go slower... dragging out his tongues caresses. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes.
Mmmmm... he's so good at this....
I hissed and ushered him on. When he pulled back and started to tease me with just the tip of his tongue I almost screamed in pure pleasure.
I... I couldn't tell him to stop... I couldn't even remember how to spell the word at that moment....
"Sora.... sora... sora..." I moaned and rested flat on my back. Both of my hands were now running through his baby soft tresses. He was moaning in his throat and that sent some very nice vibrations up my body. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take... I was getting close... I couldn't gather a rational thought and I tried to tug Sora away from me.
"..stop.."
I nearly choked out. Sora.... had latched onto me. He had his hand wrapped around me in a death grip. I cried out and tossed my head back. Okay... this was staring to hurt now....
When I felt the hot wave of my climax wash over me I just laid there panting and trying to catch my breath. My lips were dry so I licked them and then wiped the sweat off my forehead. And I felt a sob in my throat. I don't know why but I felt so sad and dirty at that moment. What was Sora doing this for. He didn't have to act like this. I hadn't been in the mood for any of this... not after yesterday, and that dream...
It was just wrong and completely fucked up...
I felt my pants come off completely then, and Sora was straddling my waist. I opened my eyes and gaped at him. He leaned down to kiss me before I could say anything and he, it felt like, tried to gag me on his tongue. I could taste myself in his mouth. That mixed with his own taste made me gag. Normally I'd have ravaged Sora and this point... but I just wasn't enjoying this in the slightest right now... I... really didn't want to go on.... But Sora was being so forceful.
He didn't even take time to prepare himself. Sora was trying to put me inside of him. I grabbed his hips and tried to pull him off of me.
"Hey.. wait.. calm down.." I said in a worried tone. He growled at me again and tried to force himself down on me. I was stronger then Sora, and I'd almost managed to wrestle him off of me but he grabbed my wounded wrist and squeezed it as hard as he could. I saw colored stars for about 10 seconds from pain. I can't believe he just did that to me. He'd handicapped me and he'd managed, without hurting himself I hope, to get me inside of him. He started to rock his hips and moan softly. I saw stars. And suddenly I didn't mind going on anymore.
If you've never had sex... you don't understand how hard it is to stop... you just don't. Even though something was wrong with Sora... I couldn't stop my hips from rocking up to meet his.
"Riku." He moaned and put my hands on his hips. It wasn't very often that Sora was on top. Watching him ride me was... well... overwhelming. I found myself wanting to go faster and harder. Sora tossed his head back and braced himself with his hands the bed. I ran my hands up his stomach and down his thighs.
"Sora..." I whispered. And then I choked on a sob. I felt like crying from the pain in my arm and from what Sora was doing. I wanted him to stop now. I.... wasn't enjoying this. But.... I couldn't calm my libido enough to just flat out stop.
Until Sora lowered his head and I saw tears leaking down his cheeks. I regained some sort of control and stopped rocking. Sora opened his eyes and licked his lips.
"Why'd you stop?" He panted and leaned down to try and kiss me. I turned to avoid his lips and he tried to grab my face and force me to kiss him.
"Don't stop..." He panted into my lips and started to roll his hips again. A fresh wave of tears spilled down his cheeks.
"Sora! Stop it!" Okay... now I knew something was wrong.
"I want this Riku!" He cried at me. I paused at stared at him in the face. This had to be the most disturbing thing I'd ever seen.
"I... I don't understand..." He chocked. I felt bad then. What had I done now? I just... wanted to know what was wrong with him... "... I thought things were getting better! Why can't I... what's so wrong with me that I can't just... I just... want you to be happy..."
"Sora, I am happy." I soothed and held his shoulders so he would stop trying to impale himself on me. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't believe what just happened. Sora covered his face with his hands and started to tremble. I tried to ease from under him but his head suddenly snapped up and he was yelling at me so loudly I was frozen in place.
"You're going to leave me... I know you are...!!" Sora sobbed and bit his bottom lip.
"What?" I asked shocked. Where... had he gotten that idea? "Le... Leave you.. What? Why would you...? Where? Sora... why would you even think that?" I was so dazed that I couldn't talk right. I was also stuttering because I was still aroused. My mind was so clouded by what Sora just did to me I could barely keep my eyes open.
"For him!" Sora shrieked and he hit me hard the chest. I coughed and looked at him with pain full eyes. He was frowning down at me through his tears. He looked crazed.
And so sad...
"Sephiroth! I see how you look at him. You want to fuck him don't you?!!"
I blinked so hard I saw colored spots. I'd have laughed if I could remember how to.
"...excuse me...?" I muttered. What the fuck?! I'd suddenly forgotten about the immense pain in my arm and the feeling of guilt that was slowly rising. Sora wiped his tears away and snarled at me. He wasn't fucking kidding. It was rare for me to see him truly angry. When I did get to see it, it scared me. He was so vicious. It made me think twice about talking back to him.
"You were flirting with him!" Sora accused me.
And at that moment I felt so much rage towards him that I think a vein popped my forehead. Flirting?
"WHAT?!" I bit back. How dare he even.. bring something like this up right now. Did he forget that I'd just been raped not even 2 months ago? Sora's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something. I made him shut up with a quick shake of my head.
"Flirting? Maybe I do want to sleep with him! So what. I haven't. And I haven't attempted too! You scared the living shit of me just now... all of this because you think I like Sephiroth. So what if I was flirting a little. I think it's pretty damned obvious who I want. I'm fucking you aren't I?"
Sora gave me a hurt expression.
"After all that I've been through do you honestly believe I'd go out and cheat on you. Yeah, I was flirting, and Yeah maybe I do have a slight attraction to Sephiroth. Can you blame me!? I mean, you saw him. Who wouldn't want to sleep with him Sora? I know you would! Don't deny it! You aren't perfect!"
Sora was shaking his head now. I pushed Sora down onto the bed so I was now the one on top and held his wrists. I realized I was still inside of him. But I wasn't aroused anymore. I wasn't enjoying this at all anymore.
"It's not as bad and you sleeping with Leon and liking it!"
I... had not meant to say that out loud...
Sora had his eyes shut tight and his lips quivered in fear. I don't know what he was afraid of. Me... yeah... I was so mad I was seeing red. I had the urge to grab Sora's throat and just.... ARGGG!!! What possessed him to bring up some stupid shit like this now!?
"I've never bad mouthed you about sleeping with Leon. I'll be honest with you Sora. It fucking disgusts me that you did it. And you defend him. You keep making the same excuse."
Sora was staring at me through wide tear filled eyes
"Leon raped you Sora! Stop denying it! He never loved you! EVER!"
I took a breath.
"You want so badly for me to just forget what Leon did to me. It's. Not. That. Fucking. Easy." I said each word with a snarl and put emphasis on each one. I had to get this through to him.
"I've been wondering how you can just... let it go Sora. You really don't care if Leon is caught or not do you?" Sora choked and closed his eyes. I shook my head and jolted him roughly once. "Answer me!" I demanded. His eyes popped open and he stuttered over his words.
"I... I... don't..."
I noticed then, for the first time, how enraged I really was at Sora for even slightly ever loving Leon. Even a little bit. How could he let that happen. He'd betrayed me.
"If he finds us, he'll kill us. Do you realize that!" I was looming over Sora now. He made a pained sound in his throat. I knew what it was from. But I was too far gone to care that I was hurting him. I just... was so tired of him being so helpless.
"Just a second ago you were trying to fuck my brains out. Now you don't want to. What's wrong?"
"....stop...." Sora breathed. I pulled back and looked him in the face. I can't even describe how angry hearing him actually tell me to stop made me.
"So you'll say it to me." I hissed and tightened my grip on his wrists. He squeaked and shook his head. I chewed my lip. "But you wouldn't say it to him."
I closed my eyes. Sora's sobs were soft and seemed far away to me. I was even acknowledging the fact that I was hurting him. Emotionally and physically.
I didn't care at this point.
"You... really did love him didn't you..." I whispered and gave Sora blinked back tears.
"Riku.." Sora breathed.
"....you'll never understand..." I said softly and leaned down to Sora's ear and asked.
"Will...will you still love me if rape you?"
Sora's breath caught in his throat.
"He hurt me Sora... maybe.. maybe I should show you what he did to me."
I covered Sora's mouth and closed my eyes.
"I'll give you a reason....."
I'll make you understand.
.... I know why Sora called me Leon in the dream now...
I don't know how long it went on. Sora was making a soft pained sound in his throat. I was spent finally and laid my forehead onto his chest. He heaved in shuddery quick breaths and sniffled every other second. Our bodies were slick and covered in sweat. I'd realized I didn't come one the whole time. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was 4 in the morning. I don't know exactly when our argument started... it was about 2 when Sora woke me up... I panted and pushed myself up off of Sora. He didn't move or try to look at me. He just stared wide eyed at the ceiling. Not really seeing it.
There was a lot of blood. All over the sheets and our pajamas....
Sora's blood. I looked down at myself.... I wasn't sure if this was blood from my wound or from Sora... both.. yeah.
I went into the bathroom and climbed into the shower. The water was painfully hot.. but I didn't have the strength to turn the faucet and cool it down. I watched the blood slip off my skin and swirl pink into the crystal clear water and go down the drain. It was... pretty to me for some sick reason. I was in shock.... from blood loss and from what I'd just done.
From what I'd done...
And for the first time it was real to me...
Oh my.. God...
I'd done....
Oh.. no...
No.. no.... I'm not like that.... I'm not him....
I sank to the floor and pressed my forehead against the tile wall. Hot tears, somehow cooler then the scorching shower water though, streamed down my cheeks. I felt cold despite the heat and started to shake. The thought of finishing my attempt at suicide now sounded like the smartest thing to do.
I couldn't live with myself for this.... I didn't have anything or anyone now! I'd hurt... the most important person to me...
Sora...
I'd.. hurt him just like how Leon had hurt me...
I was Leon!
NO!!
I flinched really hard when I felt Sora's cool hand gently make it's way across my back. The water suddenly became cooler and I stopped shaking. Sora was staring down at me, letting the water wash away his blood. I saw the bruises from where I'd gripped his hips marring his pale smooth skin. His wrists had slightly purple circles going all the way around them. I'd done that too...
"You're so pathetic...." Sora whispered and sat down next to me. I bit my lip and kept sobbing silently. He was right. I couldn't argue with him. He'd always been the stronger one. Always. I just couldn't admit it. He stared blankly at me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or not. He reached out and ran his hand through my hair before leaning forward and embracing me. I was too in shock to pull away. I don't know why Sora was forgiving me. I'd just raped him....
"Thank you..." He said softly. I looked up at him in disbelief.
What... did he just say?
"I understand now." Sora said and smiled slightly at me. "I'm sorry... that I didn't before."
And he was silent after that. We washed, changed our sheets, and crawled back into bed. I.....felt dazed... I couldn't rationalize anything that had just happened. It was like out of a sick, twisted, horror film. Sora was holding me and he'd fallen dead asleep. It took me a minute but when I finally fell asleep I realized I'd slept the best I'd ever slept in a while.
And... oddly enough... I didn't have a single nightmare.
-------
Sora
-------
The sun streamed in from the slightly drawn blinds of our bedside window. I opened my eyes slightly felt around. I was alone. I sat up slowly and looked around our room. It was midday and I felt groggy... like I'd slept way to long. I couldn't seem to recall much of last night. It was a big blur. I was sore all over. I remembered... vaguely why.
"Riku.."
"What?"
I turned to the corner of the room and saw Riku lying on the floor with his pillow. His back was to me. I hobbled out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants before I sprawled out next to Riku on the floor. I laid in front of him and started at his face. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be dozing.
"Why are you on the floor?" I asked. Riku's eyes opened slowly and he stared directly at me.
"My back hurts..." He whispered. I smiled and scooted closer to him. He didn't flinch away or close his eyes as I kissed him gently on the lips. He didn't kiss back.
"I'm okay." I told him soothingly. I was. I really was. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to be with Riku. No matter what. If he had to hurt me once in a while to get his point across I didn't mind. All I want... always, is to be with him. And Leon didn't matter anymore. I could barely remember his face. He was a fling. A thing... that simple. I was over him. I just wanted Riku...I need Riku... I needed him like I need air.
"I need help." Riku said softly. I looked away from him for a moment. "I'm sick.... I can't... keep doing this to you.. And you need help too."
I looked back at Riku and smiled just slightly. I didn't know what to say.
"I'm going away for a while."
My eyes filled with tears. Somehow... I knew this was coming. And it ripped my heart in two.
"...I see..." I said in a shaky tone. I couldn't look Riku in the eye anymore. "Will... will you come back....?"
"I don't know.... Do you really want me too?" Riku said. He was getting up now. I didn't have the strength to follow him.
"Yes." I said without hesitation. Riku didn't say anything back. He started pulling on his clothes. I still didn't get up. When he turned to leave the room I sat up and said.
"I love you."
Riku had his back to me and seemed frozen in place. I wiped my tears away and steeled my voice with a shuddery breath. I knew he wasn't doing this to hurt me. I had to be strong.
"Sora... when I come back to you..." Riku turned and looked at me. "Will you tell me you love me again?" I smiled and nodded several times and the tears came free besides my control.
"Yes." I said. Riku smiled just slightly.
"Then I love you too."
And he turned and left. I didn't chase him. No hug, no kiss. I'd get those when he came back. There was no reason for him to say goodbye. You only say that, when you aren't coming back.
I heard the front door close a few moments later.
I wiped my tears away then.
"See you soon."
To be continued.
This.. is a weird chapter. I pushed a lot of stuff back so I could use it in chapter 14 for a reason. I think... too much information was revealed in this chapter. The pacing irritates me. I've tried retyping this several times.... Argg... anyway.. yeah, weird. So, what did you think about Leon's past. I will elaborate more later. Sora is freaking me out. Is he freaking you out? By the way, to anyone that's wondering, Riku did NOT viciously rape Sora the way Leon did to him. I just made it seem like he did from his view. I don't know if it came off right or not. All of the blood by the way, there was only a little. Most of it was Riku's, from his wrist. He's supposed to be so far gone mentally that his mind is just over exaggerating things. That's why he wasn't sure if the blood on him was from Sora or himself. Sora is not ill, Riku is. So is willing to make things work. He loves Riku that much. Hmmm... this chapter is... rather bitter sweet don't you think.
Heads up--- what's to come.
Riku almost plunges to his untimely death. Seph is his knight in shining armor. Sora's acting even stranger. The house in district 3 mysteriously catches fire and burns to the ground. So much for evidence. Cloud is about to go insane with worry about Sora and Riku's unnatural behavior and asks Seph to do something... mind boggling. Riku goes for a walk and runs into an old friend. Oh yeah... A boys body washes up on the river bank and Sora gets and phone call at 2 am.
Ah heh... Tired, tired, tired.