Innocence Corrupted

by MistressNashya

Chapter 21's UP! Things are worse then I thought... much worse. It's been 2 years since their adventure. Riku and Sora must now learn to live new lives. In the city of lost souls, Traverse town. Corruption threatens to tear them apart. YAOI!

14. Chapter 14

None of the Characters belong to me. © Square Soft

To my readers, sorry for the long wait for chapter 13. I just started college and I've been pretty busy. Plus I wasn't sure how to go about typing the last chapter. I got stuck in a lot of places while I worked on it. Anyway, it's out of the way now.

Once again I thank all my reviewers. I seriously wouldn't be able to keep writing this without you guy's constant support. And on the topic of reviews, one of my recent ones for chapter 13 stood out to me the most. Heather Christi brought up some really good points about ch. 13. You can find her review in the review section Lol. You'll see what I mean when you read it. Heather Christi - You were right on the money about Sora and Riku's relationship. I'm glad I managed to depict that well. I hope this chapter clears a few things up as well. By the way, just completely disregard the fact that Sephiroth and Cloud ever had that showdown of fate battle from Kingdom Hearts Final Mix. It's not relevant in this story at all 'kay. And this chapter jumps back and fourth in time a bit. I'll make notes of time changes in these things -----. I hope that doesn't confuse anyone.

Chapter 14

What they don't know won't kill them...

Yeah right...

------

Cloud

------

What am I going to tell Riku and Sora?

How can I even bring it up...?

"Hey Riku, Sora, I know both of you want Leon to burn in Hell for what he did to you, but you gotta understand, he was raped too when he was a kid, so he has a very valid reason for doing it to you. ..."

Yeah right!

I'd just given them a call and told them the deal on Aeris. She'd be staying with Cid. OH, I cant' wait to hear what he has to say about this whole mess after he sees that news cast from the other day.

This is driving me crazy. I can't believe it.... Leon... I never would've thought it possible. He's such a cold uncaring jerk... I just thought he was like that because... well... I really didn't have a clue why Leon was so mean and antisocial. I never thought in a million years it could be because he was abused as a child. It's mind boggling to say the least. I guess the thought.. as crazy as this may sound, never crossed my mind that Leon was a child at one time too. He used to be just as helpless and vulnerable as any other person at that age.

But now.... I did understand something. For once, I understood why Leon was so unwilling to stay in a relationship. He was afraid of falling in love. Afraid of being dependent. All I can assume is that he was madly in love with that Seifer guy. So in love to point that the abuse was just apart of the relationship. I.... could never understand why people stayed in situations like that. I've never been in one myself so I can only guess. But... maybe it's not that don't want to get out... it's that they can't. Seifer may have been all that Leon had in world.

All he had...

Leon didn't have anyone...

You know... I tried to be his friend once. I tried to love him. But... I just... even after sleeping together.. it was just sex. Nothing special at all. Not like how it is with me and Seph. I used to feel so bad for not giving Leon a second chance. I feel worse now to tell you the truth. I should have asked him about it. He never talked much... about himself of anyone in his life. But I should have noticed something was wrong.

I remember.... it was the 6th or 7th time we'd slept together. I wouldn't call the relationship we had anything serious. We were bed buddies, I'll admit to that. Leon was one of those people who didn't fully let himself enjoy anything nice. He was straight forward with sex. He was on top and I was supposed to do what he wanted. It was that simple. He was pretty gentle with me too most of the time. And normally after we'd finished up he'd roll over and go to sleep without saying a word. In the morning he'd get up shower, dress, and leave. Even though it was his house...

But this time was different from the last. Leon turned to me and kissed me so passionately I didn't know how to respond at first. I thought maybe he was just lost in the heat of the moment. Until he pulled back and looked me in the eyes and smiled just slightly. I can't describe just how beautiful Leon's smile is. It made me wonder why he didn't do it more often. And he held me in his arms that night. Held me so tight and close that I could feel his heart beat. I think that was when I started to believe I was falling in love with him. I liked him. I really did. But you can only take so much bullshit from a person...

But... knowing what I do now... I can't blame Leon for the way he treated me. Or anyone else.

But... something bothers me. What's the deal with Sora? Leon... almost seems like he likes him. But why rape him? Why rape Riku? It didn't make sense.

Unless... I'm missing something. Sora... never really came out and said Leon raped him like Riku did. I only know from what Aeris told me. And from what she said... it sounded like rape...

But Sora acted like he didn't care...

So maybe... I think I'm going to have to ask Sora about all of this. Hear his side of the story. This whole time... he only seemed worried about Riku and not himself. Something was up. Something important that I'd over looked...

*flinch*

"You should be resting. It's 3 in the morning."

Sephiroth ran his soft warm hand down the arch of my back and it sent tingles up my spine. I sighed besides myself and turned to look at him.

"I know... It's just hard right now. To relax you know." I closed my eyes and thought for a moment.

"After everything you told Aeris and me last night... I can't seem to make my brain shut down for even a second and figure any of this out." I opened my eyes and gave Seph a pouting expression. "I'm... going to go nuts before this is all over."

Seph smiled slightly and ran a hand through his shiny silver hair. Seeing him lying there in the blue moonlight streaming in from the window made him look almost ethereal. His skin had this almost ghost like glow and his eyes vibrated with such intensity I found myself staring, unable to blink. Sephiroth really was beautiful. In ways only a 'man' could be. I normally wouldn't use the word 'beauty' while describing a man, but I couldn't think of any other word that summed up just how he looked.

Seph's face went slack after a moment and he stared up at the ceiling. I could tell I'd made him start thinking about everything that had transpired of the last few hours. He really didn't have to involve himself in all of this. It was my fault that he even knew at all. But he seemed worried, just as much, if not more then I was.

"...Do you think this will ever be over...?"

I asked softly and turned to lay on my side so I could look directly at Seph. He blinked once and turned to me but he didn't say anything. What could he say? That this would all end on a good note and we'd all live happily ever after. Sephiroth was eyeing me curiously and I sat up and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" I asked a little nervously.

"You aren't going to tell them are you?" He said. I blew a quick breath through my bangs and snuggled back into my pillow. Sephiroth shook his head and reached out to touch my shoulder with the back of his hand.

"Don't you think this is just a little too important not to mention to Sora and Riku?" Seph's eyes widened a little as he spoke. "Not to say that telling them about Leon's past will make them forgive him, it just may make them realize he's just as helpless as they are."

I frowned and sat up completely so I could eye Seph with a vicious glare. He still sounded like he was defending what Leon did. I couldn't figure out why he would even attempt too though.

"You said it yourself that something was wrong with Leon the first time you saw him.... now you know that there really is and you keep coming up with excuses for him." I was starting to get flustered and angry for really no reason. Leave it to Seph to be all analytical about everything. But he could do what I couldn't most of the time.

Think rationally.

Where as I wanted to find Leon and strangle the living shit out of him, Seph wanted to stop and ask him why he did all of this.

"Just my luck... falling for a psychologist."

Yes... Sephiroth was a doctor... sort of. I never really explained just how I met him did I? It's stupid and sounds like it's out of really sappy chick flick. But I met him in the library. I was looking for books on reading your dreams and understanding your thought process and a bunch of other random stuff. We reached for the same book. Seph made a comment about how I seemed like a troubled mind to him. Naturally I thought it was cheap pick up line made to sound good with really big dictionary quality words. Until he started talking about how he felt like I was looking for someone. Someone very important. So important, that I couldn't exist without them.

My light...

In simple words his guess freaked me out. And for some strange reason I kept talking to him. After about 2 weeks he finally asked me out to dinner. I said yes without a second thought. Sephiroth had not only picked my interests physically, but he'd intrigued me mentally. It' safe to say, we have some very deep thought provoking talks every now and then. It think that's why I'm so stuck on him. He's like brain food. And a bunch of other yummy stuff. Ah heh...

"So you aren't going to tell them?" Sephiroth asked again and bit his bottom lip. I frowned again and covered my face.

"...I haven't decided yet..." That was my final answer for now. It was the best I could do at that moment. In truth.. I didn't know what the hell I was going to do about anything. My thoughts were so jumbled I couldn't grasp onto one of them and sort it out. After a time I snarled and ran my hands through my hair in a frustrated manner. Sephiroth chuckled.

"How can you be so calm about all of this?" I demanded quietly. How could he? It was impossible. Leon had raped Sora and Riku, Leon had attacked Aeris, tried to kill her, Leon was still on the loose and trying to find the boys so he could try to kill them too....

Calmness level... cracking... cracking... shatter!.... *makes motions with fingers for falling bits of glass*

"If I start to panic like how you're doing right now, we'll both be unable to sleep tonight." Seph pulled me into a hug and started running his fingers through my hair. I melted into his embrace instantly and felt my worries disappear for a brief moment.

For a very sweet, gentle, tingly moment.

I pulled away for Sephs soft kiss and freed myself of his arms. He looked slightly stunned at my sudden movements and didn't reach out for me.

"You.. you're trying to change the subject." I accused with a pointed finger.

"Would you relax." He soothed and reached out to me. I was leaning close to edge of the and tilted a bit away from his out stretched hand.

"Relax?" I squeaked. "How... can you even utter that word at a time like this?"

"Like this." Seph reached forward and hauled me back to him. He pushed me down onto the bed and straddled my thighs. He took my face into his hands and leaned in to kiss me again.

"Re-lax." He said softly against my cheek. And then his lips melted into mine. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to float away again. Maybe he was right. What good would I be to Sora and Riku if I burned myself out worrying too much about all of this? Not to say I'm dismissing things altogether, just that I was pushing them aside briefly. I mean, for now Sora and Riku were safe at my apartment on the 6 floor with the alarm system activated.

Seph pulled away from me and made soft butterfly kisses across my cheeks and neck. I sighed in content and just laid there so he could baby me.

"Now sleep." He insisted and climbed off of me. He covered us in the blankets and pulled me into an embrace once more. I couldn't help but pout a bit in frustration.

That was it?!!!

Just a kiss!!

But... but I thought we'd...

"No Cloud." Seph half yawned. "You won't be blaming me for being tired in the morning." I knew very well what he was talking about. And... I guess he was right.... maybe just a little....

Hmm... maybe we could do it in the morning then?

It didn't take me long to fall asleep.

----------

(morning...er .. midday.)

----------

"I think we should get up now." Seph whispered while nipping at my neck gently. I sighted softly and absently stroked his feather soft hair. When he rolled off of me I couldn't hide my disappointment. But... I could muse in my fuzzy state of mind to myself about what we'd just done.

Over and over and over again.

Ah, that was nice.

"Cloud."

*glare in Seph's direction*

"Okay.. okay. I'm getting up. Geez" I sat up and untangled my legs from the sheet. "Just... ruined my whole moment..." I mumbled and stood to stretch. Sephiroth was sitting on his side of the bed smoothing his hair down. Need less to say it was sticking up in places from me using it as leverage during out "showdown" in the bed.

I won!

"Shower." Seph said softly, a bit of laughter on in his tone. I grinned and made my way, naked, to the bathroom. If we took a shower together there was no point in us even getting dressed at all today. I wasn't going to let him leave the apartment. We'd already slept.. okay we weren't sleeping, we'd already wasted about 2 hours worth of searching time of Leon's house. And it was already 3 in the afternoon. And at that simple thought my mood instantly fell.

Fuck.. I really needed to stop playing around now. I didn't wait for Seph and got into the shower. I was just finishing up my hair when he climbed in behind me. I took a puffy breath when I got a peek of his perfect, toned, smooth, hard .. er... muscles, all wet and shiny.... I averted my gaze...

*rinsing hair*

"So where do you want to start?" Came his first question of the day. I paused in my rinsing and frowned. Hmmm, where did one start when searching for rape evidence......?

Yeah, you're just as clueless as I am...

Wait...

"Well.. Riku.. said it happened in Leon's room... but Riku'd dragged the soiled sheets with him to his room afterwards."

I cringed at that. My minds eye made a very vivid picture.

"...Do you think they'd still be there?" Seph inquired and reached past me for the soap. I watched some water run down my chest for a moment.

"I.. don't know..." Would Leon have thought of any reason to destroy the sheets? He was pretty damned smart... For all we know he could have figured out us trying to search for evidence a long time ago.

Uh oh...

I turned to Seph and looked up at him wide eyed. He stopped what he was doing and gave me a questioning worried expression.

"What... what if he's.. waiting for us..?"

The thought just crossed my mind. And... what if Leon had been in the crowd outside of Aeris's house. Hurt or not. It was quite a ruckus after the news reel started. It would have been really easy to miss him in the that mess. People crowded around like someone had been brutally murdered.

Almost...

If Leon had seen me and Seph there, he now knew we were slightly involved in all of this mess. Aeris's would have had to tell what was really going on in the end. Or we wouldn't have been able to help her.

"Oh my god... Seph.. Leon.. he knows we know..." I put my hands on Sephiroths chest and gazed wide eyed and distraughtly up at him.

"How can you be so sure?" He said softly and put his head under the showers spray. I rubbed water out of my eyes and gaped slightly. Well, I wasn't sure actually. And the way Seph asked it made me think...

... Was.. Maybe I was reading to much into this? I mean... Leon had been seriously injured that night. For... for all I know he could have died from blood loss or something.

A dark macabre image of Leon lying face down in a puddle of his own blood in some dark secluded alleyway popped into my head. And I gasped and covered my mouth in shock. At that moment... I realized... I didn't want Leon dead. After learning what I did the other night...

Oh god... I did feel sorry for him.

I latched onto Seph and looked him in the eye. He stared down at me questioningly but didn't say anything.

"We have to find Leon." I suddenly insisted. " I... I want to help him. I want to find out what's wrong."

I really did now. It was all becoming so clear to me. If Leon was caught by the authorities, he'd be probably sentenced to a life in prison.. or the death penalty. And no one would even know he was sick. He probably didn't even now it himself yet. They'd lock him away in a place with serial killers and serial rapists forever. What would he do... and... with his record, having raped to kids...

They'd... they would crucify him in there...

All of these thoughts hit me so hard and so fast I felt dizzy for a moment. Seph hugged me tight and closed his eyes.

"Now do you understand what I was talking about earlier?" He whispered. I nodded into his chest.

I did.

I understood.

I understood so suddenly that I felt tears in my eyes. They were stinging. I looked up at Seph and swallowed hard. I was torn inwardly. So many conflicting thoughts were running through my mind. I felt overwhelmed. This weight, this 50 ton burden had been placed on my shoulders so suddenly. I was responsible. I'd put myself in this position.

But I wasn't alone...

"Can...we.... just one more time...." I whispered to Seph. He lowered his hands from rinsing his hair over me and raised an eyebrow. His expression was a cross between curiosity and confusion. And I knew he was scolding me inwardly.

"Cloud... we're behind time as it is. Again? You know that will make.... 7 times in less then 3 hours.... We can't go back to sleep this time."

Seph was trying to sound serious, but his eyes held a sparkle of amusement in them. I wasn't saying this so we could have another quick romp of sexual pleasure before we had to head out and face the day. I was so serious it wasn't even funny and I didn't laugh.

"Cloud?" Seph noticed my lack of amusement at the present moment and ran his hand over my shoulder. I got a chill from his touch and looked deep into his eyes.

"What if.. things are worse then we thought?" I frowned. "What if... something terrible happens... and I can never see you again...?" I looked down and watched the water swirl around my feet. "I just.... need this... one more time before we go out. Just in case something happens. I'm being serious with you." I looked back up at Sephiroth and stepped up to kiss him.

"Earlier was just for play." I brushed Sephs lips with my own and felt his sigh of pleasure pass over my lips. His eyes closed besides his half hearted attempt to fight against me.

"I want it for real this time." I rested my back against the shower wall and pulled Seph to me. He put his hands on either side of me to brace his self on the wall. If you could only see how intensely he was gazing at me. Lust was filling his eyes and it was so much stronger then when we were making love earlier. This time around, our love making would be primal and utterly passionate. We'd forget the world for just a moment. It would be just our little world for a blissful moment.

"You never know...." I half spoke half moaned when Seph finally just gave into his desire and started to kiss his way down my neck and shoulders. His lips mixed with the gently massage of the hot water felt mind numbingly good and I can't even begin to describe how good. I titled my head to the side. " ... This may be the last time we can do this... Be together... see each other... the world's.... (sigh)... such a dangerous place...."

Seph nodded against my throat and ran his hand through my hair before he hoisted me up onto his waist. I wrapped my legs around him and put my hands on his shoulders.

This.. this is the first time we've made love in the shower.... Hmm, it's very nice.

"But it was in that dangerous place, that I met such a wonderful, beautiful person Cloud." Seph gave me a long wet kiss and slide into me. He did it to distract me from the slight pain I felt for a brief moment. Water doesn't make a very good lubricant....

My thoughts disappeared completely once our hips got in sync. I moaned and gasped as loudly as I dared knowing damn well Seph's neighbors could probably hear me. But I just didn't care at the moment. I didn't care about anything right now...

I didn't care...

Just once.... I want to feel like I have nothing to worry about. Just for a moment. And Seph gave me that moment. I felt fuzzy, dizzy, lightheaded, weak, strong. My heart seemed to skip beats every time our hips met in the same place. I couldn't close my mouth enough to calm my moaning and I could barely keep my eyes open. Seph was watching me with half lidded eyes muttering over and over again that he loved me. I knew the words weren't being said empty from him being lost in ecstasy.

"I love you" didn't seem like enough for how much I knew Seph loved me.

He really didn't even have to say it...

"I can die happy after this.." I murmured and pulled Seph into another long slow sloppy kiss. We came together at that moment and I almost struck my head on the shower wall from how fucking great it felt. My head was saved because Seph had his hand cradling the back of it. My moans cracked from overflowing with emotion and I started to cry.

Yes.... I started to cry.

Seph helped me keep my balance as I lowered my legs from his waist. He held me close and rocked me slightly.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be so rough..." He soothed. I shook my head against his chest and pulled back to look at him.

"No... it's not that... It's just... hard... to come back to reality sometimes you know... The bliss.. is so quick... so short.... too short...." I bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath. It was being doused in bitterly ice cold water when you were all warm and comfortable. It just.... fucked up your whole being you know...

"Yes... it is hard to come back sometimes." Seph kissed my forehead and picked the soap up again. He rubbed in down my shoulders and across my chest in a gentle soothing manner. I noticed that his face looked flushed and his cheeks were slightly pink. He hadn't shaken our orgasm yet either.

"But you have to." I finished and blinked away the last of the salt water in my eyes.

So..... did I still want to go search for proof that Leon had raped Riku...?

No... in all honesty. I wanted to climb back into Seph's bed and lay with him naked forever....

But I'd be betraying Riku.

Yes...

I'd promised I'd help.

I'd keep that promise.

Leon was sick... he... probably didn't even know what he was doing.. or even realized...

Right?...

Oh my god... what am I going to do....

"Let's go see Sora and Riku." Seph suggested softly and started to wash my back. "You can tell them then."

For some reason I smiled. Maybe... if we just cleared this whole 'Leon was a victim too', deal up, things would get better for the boys. Maybe they could start to forgive and forget.

Maybe...

About 10 minutes later Seph and I were dressed and ready to go. I started to call my place first to give Sora and Riku a heads up that we were on the way and to check up on them. For some strange reason, as I pulled on my gloves, time seemed to slow down. I felt dazed and wiggly. And then it felt like cold water rushed over me and I got a chill. Seph raised an eyebrow.

"What was that all about?"

I tensed for a moment and shook my head. "I.. have not idea... I just.. got this weird feeling all of a sudden." My mind raced at what my strange actions just now could have meant. There were a multitude of conclusions.

"I've.. got a bad feeling." I whispered and numbly dialed my apartment. The phone rang 4 times and before anyone picked up. The time in between those four rings felt like a few hours. And I was starting to panic.

"H..hello..."

It was Sora... he.. sounded tired.

"It's me." I started while following Seph out the door. I heard him lock it behind me and we started down the hallway. "Were you sleeping?" I asked softly. The cold winter air struck me hard in the face as Seph held the front door of his apartment complex open for me. I gasped slightly as Sora responded.

"..y..yeah.."

I stopped walking suddenly and stared at the concrete. Sephiroth wasn't looking ahead of himself and ran into my back. I heard him mumble a 'sorry'. I stumbled just slightly but kept staring at the ground.

"What's wrong?" I hissed just slightly. And something was wrong. I had this sinking gut feeling that was starting to make me feel really ill. Something had happened between last night and now.

"Sora!" I yelled. Sephiroth paused in opening the driver side door and eyed me with a questioning expression. I gripped the phone.

"I'm.. fine.. nothing's wrong. I was just asleep." Sora's voice cracked slightly. He tried to hide it but I'd heard it clearly. My heart sank to my knees.

"I don't believe you." I snapped back. "Put Riku on the phone."

"Why?"

"Just put him on the phone!" I demanded sharply. There was silence for a moment and then the phone went dead. I heard my cell phone crack from me gripping it so tight.

"FUCK!" I growled roughly pocketed my phone. Sephiroth frowned.

"What's wrong?"

I got inside the car and pulled on my seat belt. Seph started the engine, pulled on his seat belt, and put the car into gear.

"I.. don't know.." I hissed and crossed my arms. I was shaking. "Sora just.. he just.. he hung up on me." I huffed. I was worried but trying desperately to hide it. Why had Sora just done that? He never acted like that.

"So call back."

I blinked. "Duh! Cloud...." That's what redial is for. I pulled out my phone and dialed my place again. I got a busy signal. I hung up and dialed again. Another busy signal.

"Damn!" I spat. Sephiroth shook his head.

"Maybe he just doesn't feel like talking right now."

I frowned in Seph's direction. He was watching the road and didn't break his gaze to look at me.

"Something's wrong, Seph. I can feel it..." I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. " I mean.. Why wouldn't Sora put Riku on the phone?"

"No idea."

"Sora was acting so..."

*ring, ring*

I paused and stared in surprise at my cell phone. For a moment I didn't know what to do. I hadn't expected anyone to call.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Seph said. I swallowed hard for some reason and hit the talk button.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Sorry..."

It was Sora.

"Why did you..." I started, but he cut me off.

"Are you on your way here?" He asked.

"Yeah! But.."

"I.... have something to tell you....." Sora's voice trailed off and for a moment I thought he'd hung up again.

"Sora!? What do..."

He cut me off again.

"When you get here I'll tell you...."

"Sora, wait, where's Ri...." I tried to ask quickly

"Bye."

*click*

I hung up my phone and let it drop to the floor. Sephiroth blinked and frowned at my blank expression.

"Get me to my apartment. Hurry please." I said absently. I felt the car speed up. I was so dazed I couldn't think of anything to ask Seph on the way.

------

Leon

.....hours earlier.....

------

It took me a long time to open my eyes. I kept seeing red and the world was spinning around me like a top. I felt cold and wet and unhinged. I couldn't remember where I was either. When I could see straight but still blurry outlines of things I looked around. I was on my back lying on the floor in what looked like an abandoned building. I started to sit up and the pain in my head registered so suddenly I keeled over and threw up.

I noticed there was blood in my vomit.

I wiped my mouth and got weakly to my hands and knees. I still couldn't figure out where I was or how I'd gotten here.

Last night... something had happened...

Just trying to remember sent more striking shocks of pain through my head. I took a shuddery breath and ran my fingers through my hair. When they came back soaked with blood I knew something was wrong. I'd been injured... but how... and by who...

Looking around me I realized it was snowing outside. The dirty windows of.. wherever I was..., allowed me some light inside this other wise dark and dank building. I pushed to my feet and staggered over to what looked like a bed and some blankets. It was slightly warm in this room... so I took off my bomber jacket and laid down. I was starting to feel dizzy and sick again. That little walk from the floor to here had drained me of whatever strength I'd had left. I made a pained sound in my throat and closed my eyes.

Now... back to how this happened....

I'd.. I remember going to Aeris's house after I'd seen her in the drug store. I'd.. left her a message on her answering machine. What... what had I said...? Don't remember. I'd wanted to ask her something... About... about.. Sora and Riku.. about the boys.. That's right... They'd been missing for a while.

I whimpered slightly. Thinking was staring to hurt very badly.

I'd gotten to her place... a little after she did I think.... Yes... I knocked and she answered the door. I asked her where Sora and Riku where. She... was acting strange... acting.. scared.

She was scared. Terrified actually.

Why...?

All I'd asked...

Oh that's right...

She has... I think my old photo album and journal are in those boxes of old newspaper I gave her... I wanted them back. Did I tell her that...? Maybe not...

I reached around absently and blindly looking for the pocket of my jacket. I found it and pulled out a bottle of prescription medicine. That's why I'd been in the drug store. To get my medicine. And I saw Aeris there.

I squinted at the label, trying to read the print on it through my hazy vision. The name of the pills was about 15 letters long and I couldn't even strain myself enough without get dizzy to try and sound it out. I'd just gotten the pills for the first time tonight. After I'd seen my doctor earlier today. This was my first time taking them.

What had the doctor said they were for...? My depression... when I get mad... I do things... and then... I can't remember...

I grunted in pain and sat up. My whole body hurt. I think I should go the hospital and get this wound looked at. I still... for the life of me can't figure out how I got it though...

After... I spoke to Aeris...

Something... happened...

She'd mad me upset...

I got frustrated because I didn't know how to ask her for my stuff back. What had I done after that?...

And the images hit me hard. So hard I saw white light afterwards.

I'd broken down Aeris's front door and chased after her. I'd trapped her in her room and hit her really hard. She started begging me not to hurt her and I pulled a knife out. I stabbed her and cut her face. I don't remember what I said to her.. but she looked so terrified of me. And then...

I flinched and gritted my teeth...

This pain erupted in the back of my head. Once, twice, three times... there was this boy...

The same boy from the drug store...

He'd hit me... with something big... And told me he'd called the police....

I ran after that...

I was left gasping wide eyed up at the ceiling from the memory. I'd.. done.. all of that... I don't even... how long ago had it happened? Was Aeris... alright...? Oh my god... I'd tried to kill her... but I don't remember... doing any of that...

I don't...

What's wrong with me...?

Why can't I remember...?

God.. help me...

What have I done...?

Sora... Riku...

I'd hurt them...

I'd done something... to hurt them...

To make them run away from me...

No...

..get out of my head...

...go away...

"You are mine. Forever..."

...No.. please... just go away...

"Mine."

Leave me alone!

"Heh..."

Seifer...........

And I started to laugh uncontrollably. It was all so fucking hilarious. Shit! I'd almost gotten that sweet innocent little bitch. If it hadn't been for her little fuck'toyed hero I would have skinned her alive. God it felt good to scare the shit out of her.

I winced and got to my feet. I put my meds back in my pocket and pulled on my jacket. It was difficult but I managed to right my equilibrium enough to walk straight. Didn't want to look like I was wasted off my ass now did I? Had to find a place to clean up at. Since Aeris's hero called the pigs on me I can't go back to my place. Dumb shits are probably combing the streets looking for me. To bad they're so slow they wouldn't look in the most obvious of places.

I haphazardly combed my hair back with my fingers and looked around. It looked pretty clear outside. Not to many people out. I pushed open the door of the old Inn in the 2nd district and made may was across the street by staying in the shadows. No one was paying me any mind really. I pulled up my hood to ward of the cold and stuffed my hands in my pockets. I'd had gloves.. but I don't know what happened to them.

Shit... it's cold out here...

I made a bee line for the "Taco Time" fast food restaurant 3 blocks down. If felt like a long walk and I staggered more then a few times then I'd like to admit and pushed open the door. I dropped my gaze from the cashier and surveillance cameras and went to the men's room. It was one of those small one stall bathrooms that I could lock the door too. The moment I got in and pulled off my hood I heaved into the trash can. It was the closet thing to me...

I wasn't sure why I was puking... Too weak from blood loss maybe... I did feel fatigued and shaky.

Shit... feeling dizzy too... stupid little fucker got me good... 3 times at that.. damn. I should've been more careful. I'll get that little bastard back for this.

I finished upchucking and hobbled over to the mirror. I gaped at my mirror image. I... looked like shit. Blood had caked and dried to the side of my face and my hair was matted with more of the sticky stuff. I was pale as death and looked like at any moment I'd pass out. I touched a trembling hand gently to the back of my head and almost cried out. OH.. that shit had hurt. My eyes stung for a moment. I'm a grown man... but I was in so much pain right now that crying was getting exceedingly close to happening.

"Got to.. clean up.." I murmured and looked around the bathroom. There wasn't much in here. Paper towels....

That'll work. I grasped a handful and ran them under some hot water. I cleaned my face and started to bolt my hair free of all the blood. If I could at least get most of it out.... Damn.. this isn't working..... Hmm...

I took off my coat and hung it on the door. My shirt was stained red down the front as well. Thankfully it was black so the blood didn't show much. It was wet though. Cursing to myself I lowered my head under the faucets warm spray and rinsed my hair. I let the water run through until it wasn't tinted pink anymore. You know, that stung.. the water on my wound... Then I pulled off my shirt and turned to the automatic hand dryer behind me. For about 5 minutes I just stood there drying my shirt. With that done I went to the task of drying my hair. I was in the bathroom for at least 50 minutes. Surprisingly no one came to use it once the whole time.

I looked back at myself in the mirror and was a little more pleased with what I saw. My skin had a little more pigment to it now as well. I still felt sick and weak though. Maybe.. I should get something to eat while I'm here. My stomach gave a painful lurch at the thought of greasy tacos and cheese and I instantly changed my mind. It was probably best for me not to hang around here any longer anyway.

I got a strange stare from the geeky kid standing behind the cash register. He looked like he wanted to say something to me. I sent a quick glare in his direction and watched him squirm for a second. He seemed so startled I'd look his way that he hopped back and bumped into another clerk. His glasses sat lopsided on his face and he looked around nervously. Ha! I never get tired of intimidating people. I hope my hair is dry enough to be going outside now. I pulled up my hood and squared my shoulders before pushing the main door open. The bitter cold air struck me so hard I stumbled back a bit before I could take a step.

Damn... it's really fucking cold out here.

Surprisingly there's not a cop or police car in sight. You'd think they'd be on every corner in and lurking in every shadowed area looking for me. But like I said, they're a bunch of dumb mug faced ass's. Let them try to catch me. I'll slit their throats with my....

And I reached for my Gunblade...

Only to grasp cold air. My eye's grew wide and I turned to look behind me, as though I may have dropped my blade somewhere as I walked. That was stupid. Of course I hadn't dropped it. So.. where had I left it then. I.. didn't have it when I went to Aeris's place...

Did I...?

Hold on... what the hell.... What.. what was I doing before I went to Aeris's house anyway?

Looking for something...

No.. I was asking about....

Sora and Riku...

*wince*

My head was hurting again. But I wasn't sure if it was from my wound or something else entirely. I kept walking blindly. I knew where I was going. I had to go to my place and see if I'd left my Gunblade behind. I doubt the police were still there now. I was only about 1 or 2 miles from my place when I noticed a squad car hiding, quite conspicuously, on the left side of the street. It was one of those undercover cop cars that looked like a normal civilian vehicle. But I wasn't slow. I'd been in the military for most of my young life. I knew the difference. I had to ignore the pain in my skull for a moment and slink into the back alleys of the neighborhood I was currently in. Every window and blind was closed and drawn, and all the lights where on in everyone's house in seemingly every room. Everyone was paranoid now. Oh one little girl gets attacked and the whole city is on alert.

Ch.. whateeevvvvv.....

SHIT!

I ground my teeth in frustration and anger when I almost slipped and fell on my ass in some slush that had pooled in a pot hole in alley. I hope... nobody saw that. I'd have laughed if I saw it myself.... That little spill further agitated my pounding head and I was seeing bright bursts of light in front of my vision now. I could barely see the alley. I shook my head and pushed on. Just a few more blocks.. just a few...

I turned the corner outside the alley and my jaw nearly dropped to the ground. My house was surrounded by police. There was caution tape around my front gate and about 6 officers up by my front door. I blinked to unthaw my eyes and sidestepped back into the alley.

Holy.. shit... they were really after me... Damn it...

God... I need to lye down...

Feel like.. I'm going to pass out...

Christ... if they search my place... I wonder what they're looking for. It's not like I have anything of value in there... accept maybe my Gunblade. I need to get it... or at least check and make sure it's not in there still... I took a moment to mentally map out the hallways and doors of my house in my head and decide the best course of infiltration. I could sneak past the police without a problem. ... That is.. if I wasn't hurt the way I was. I could barely see straight as it was... This was going to be.. kind of difficult.

One of the police officers lingering by my front door spoke into his walky talky. I'm not sure what he said, but to my utter glee all of the police started to get in there cars and leave. WELL, I'll be damned. I smiled beside myself, and regretted it, because it sent a jolt of aching pain through my neck up to my forehead..., and started to make my way to my house through the backyard. I sat in a dark corner of the gate and waited for the last cop to leave. When he did, and I was sure the coast was clear, I walked up to my back door and went inside.

....I gotta admit.. I thought a few officers where going to be waiting inside with their guns aimed and ready to shoot me down. But there was no sign of anything. Didn't even look like they'd gotten inside my place. I didn't have time to think or look around much to see if they had though, so I made my way to my room. When I flicked on the light it blinded me painfully for a moment. I was in worse shape then I thought if soft light was causing me pain. My blade was sitting on my bed... where I'd left it I guess.... still inside it's case.

And I had to pause for a moment.

Now... I know for a fucking fact.. I'd taken my Gunblade out of it's case before I left my house earlier. I remember running my finger down the blade.... I.. I think I remember. I felt flushed and had to sit down. Standing there, with no destination at the moment, made my body seem to realize just how exhausted it was. I felt like jell-o from the neck down. My back was tense and achy, and my eyes stung for some unknown reason. I think I'm dying.... or about to loose consciousness anyway...

I was safe...for the most part. It had been almost 48 hours sense they'd put a warrant out for me. Now they'd have to catch based on eye witnesses. Well... I wasn't outside anymore so no one would see me now. Yeah, I knew how this whole search and apprehend thing went. I was a SeeD after all. Man.. that was a long time ago.... funny.. I'm getting kind of nostalgic.

I remember... being... happy for a while back then.

I had lain down on my bed without really realizing I had. I felt so good... I couldn't build the strength to get up again or open my now closed eyes. I was so tired....

Those were good times...

Back then...

With him....

Squall....

------

.....present....

------

The sun looked like it was about to set in a few hours when I managed to open my eyes. I felt stiff and groggy but rested for the most part. Sitting up alone was taxing and I felt like I'd expended all of my strength just doing it. I stretched a bit and looked around. For a moment... I had no clue where I was or how I'd gotten here...

This again...

I'm... I'm home... in my room. How... how'd I get here? I got up and glanced around. Everything seemed fine. Nothing was placed out of order or anything. But... this was distressing me. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten home. Last thing I know I did... I was laying in the abandoned Inn with a bloody scalp. At that thought I reached back and ran my fingers gently through my hair. There was no blood on my fingers....

Wait... had I dreamed that maybe...? But my head did hurt... where I thought I'd been hurt at...

This was so confusing.... What was going on....?

Okay... maybe... I'll just take a shower to calm down. That's logical.

Shower.

I stripped and headed for the bathroom. I noted that Sora and Riku where still gone. I... don't think I ever got around to asking Aeris's if she knew where they were last night. Truth be told, they weren't my kids. But I didn't want them on the streets. I felt bad enough as it was that I hadn't noticed earlier that they were gone.

The shower water felt relaxing across my skin and muscles. And I wanted to curl up on the tub floor and just let the water run over me. I washed my hair and noticed there was no caked blood in it. So maybe.. I really wasn't hurt after all. Or if I was, not bad enough that I bled...

But.. I remember...

Blood all over...

From my head...

It was on Riku...

I gasped and braced myself against the wall. I could only stare wide eyed into space. I'd.... just imagined Riku covered in blood... begging me to stop hurting him... What was this now...?

Nothing... none of this made sense...

I need to take that medicine I picked up yesterday... er... last night... um... yeah.. last night. After washing up absently I went back to my room and dressed. I took my time and mulled over the many jumbled thoughts in my head. None of them seemed to piece together at all though. I needed to find something to distract myself. Hmm... the news maybe.... wait... what time was it anyway?

I looked at my bedside clock and saw it read 4:50 pm. I'd slept the day away.... The news wouldn't be on at this time. But maybe I could find something to watch on TV anyway. I flicked on the television after I got into the living room and put it on a random channel. I felt hungry so I went to the kitchen to find something. A commercial had just gone off and I heard the music for a 'news special report'. I turned up the TV from the kitchen with the remote to listen. If the news was broadcasting at 5 in the evening... it was some serious shit. I.... wonder what it could be... A murder... a suicide... a famous person committing adultery. Hmm? I listened and jugged a cool glass of water.

"Thjs is Jenny Carson reporting from WCCO channel 7 news. The man hunt continues for 29 year old Squall, also known as Leon, LeonHeart. After coming up short during a routine search of LeonHeart's home last night the authorities have been forced to regroup and scour the city in hopes of finding any signs of his whereabouts. So far police have no leads as to where the attempted murderer/rapist could be hiding. But they say he couldn't have gone far as he received serious wounds during his attack on Aeris Gainsborough 2 nights ago. Police are hoping LeonHeart may have been spotted by a civilian during the night. If so, to please call 911 immediately. As a warning again, do not attempt to apprehend or approach LeonHeart, because he is considered armed and dangerous. That's all for this report. Stay tuned for more updates. Thjs is Jenny Carson reporting from WCCO channel 7.

The resounding crash of glass on tile broke my shock reprieve. I jumped slightly and glanced around at every window in the kitchen. I was dreaming right? This had to be some sick nightmare... Right...? All of those things she'd said... Murder.. rape... I'd attacked Aeris... I was armed and dangerous. Armed with what... my Gunblade was still in its case. At least.. I thought it was... Even so... I'd never attack Aeris... or use my Gunblade on her... I'd never do any of those things....

I covered my face with both hands and took a shuddery breath. This was all some cruel joke. It had to be....How could I have done those things... and not remember that I'd done them...? None of this made any sense. I must have misheard the news report. I went into the living room and looked at the TV screen. Other news was showing now, but the news update headline bar was flashing. A small photograph was posted there. And I knew what face just as well as I knew how to count.

It was my face.

It was me.

And the world seemed to spin out of control and I turned to throw up the water I'd drank. My life had just come to a spiraling and very abrupt halt. Whatever hopes, dreams, and aspirations I ever had, had to be completely forgotten now. I was a convicted criminal. I'd attacked a close friend... and tried violate her... supposedly tried to kill her...

It was all true.... deep down... in my gut I felt it was.... I felt bad for it being true... but I also felt... I felt happy....?

But I don't remember any of this!

Something told me to run. To get away from here. From this house, this city... this place entirely. I didn't know where to go... but I had to leave. Now. They'd kill me if they found me. I'd never have a chance to plea innocent. Never...

I didn't have much to begin with. Just some clothes and my Gunblade. I'd never really considered Traverse Town my permanent residence, so I never took the time to really settle in. I felt like I didn't have time to pack clothes or anything so I grabbed my wallet, I could buy new clothes once I got to where ever I was going. I put on my coat, grabbed my blade, and headed for the back door. I was just getting out of it when I heard a really hard knock on the front door. I didn't try to close the back door and headed for the alley. With the sun setting I'd be difficult to spot once I was in the dark alley way.

"LeonHeart! WE know you're inside. Come out with you hands up!"

I jumped and turned back to look at my house. The police must have completely surrounded the front yard. My hearts was starting to beat unnaturally fast. I couldn't say I was scared. Just worried. I knew what would happen if they caught me. That was all. I wasn't going to jail until I'd explained my side of the story... whatever that was. And as I stood here and stared at what used to be my meager existence I started to grow slightly sad. I, for the most part, had never done anything to anyone. I just kept to myself. Now here I was being accused of heinous acts against a helpless women. And no one had even thought to ask me what was going on.

Or why I'd done it.

It was always... always somehow my fault.

Always...

He used to say it all the time.

"I do this because I love you Squall."

"If you'd only do what I tell you to do I wouldn't have to hurt you, Squall."

"I love you."

"It's because I love you."

"I'm sorry....

.... I won't do it again...

I promise..."

Seifer...

Squall...

Seifer...

"Yes?"

I think... I think we should... I don't want to be with you anymore...

"What'd you mean?"

I mean...

I mean...

IT"S OVER!

It's over...

It's over..

Over...

I have nothing now...

It's all your fault Squall...

I should have just let things be... I never should have never listened to that kid...

Your fault...

But... he was going to kill me... I just wanted to get away....

Your fault...

My hand felt suddenly very hot and I lifted my arm without a conscious thought. The flames started to swirl around my fingers in small wisps, then into full flames that grew and formed into a sphere the size of a beach ball. Ii felt so good to hold that vicious power in my hand at that moment. I wanted to free it. Let it run wild and decimate every single thing, living or otherwise, it its path. If I kept my anger inside I'd blow up. But if I let it out...

Everything around me would blow up instead.

I let the fire ball go.

The now abandoned house in district three burst into a million flames in a matter of seconds. I could hear screaming and yelling as police and civilians tried to run from the growing flames. The creaking and dying of the houses old wood reverberated in my head like the screams and sorrowful moans of ghosts and spirits. I'd have nightmares about that sound. Somewhere in the flames where my own cries of despair. The flames were beautiful. I wanted to walk into them and feel their warm embrace. To sink to my knees and be enveloped in its love. To turn to ashes... with my despair.

I wanted to...

So badly...

But I couldn't.

So I turned.... and walked away, the house collapsing in my wake....

------

Cloud

------

It seemed like it was taking us entirely too long to get to my house. I hadn't looked up for a very long time. I did finally and noticed how backed up in traffic we were. I looked at Seph and noticed he was trying to see what was holding traffic up.

"It's rush hour." He said absently to me. I nodded... but still.. something else was up. Traffic was way to backed up for it to just be normal rush hour. The sinking feeling in my chest hadn't gone away, but I'd managed to sooth it for a bit while I thought about other things. Like Sora's cryptic little message about having to tell me something. That was bothering me severely.

"Seph I..." I started and turned to look at my lover. He was staring wide eyed past me, out of my window. I frowned and turned to see what he was looking at. When I did my eyes felt like they'd pop out of my head.

There were huge, black, dirty, smoke clouds filling the sky. They were rolling and rolling into the orange sunset like a thick swarm of bats. Seph and I got out the car and looked over into the city, we were on the freeway. I could smell the fire and smoke and it made my lungs burn.

"Oh my god... what's happened...?" I breathed. The cold air was carrying the sent of burnt wood, plastic, melting metal, and.... flesh... I'd know that scent anywhere. People were dying in that fire.

"Cloud.. that's district 3... All... of district 3..." Seph said softly to me. For a moment I didn't understand what he meant. Then realization hit me hard in the chest. I sank to the pavement. District 3, Leon's house, the evidence...

Oh my God....

Leon... he'd caused the fire.

"Come on Cloud." Seph pulled me to my feet, I'd sank to the ground without realizing it, and helped me to the car. I crawled in and sat down. Seph pulled my seat belt around me and put his own on before he put the car into gear. I guess.. traffic was moving again.

"Leon..." I murmured in shock. He'd started the fire.... He'd killed people... Aeris, Sora, Riku..

"Cloud..." Sephiroth said softly and touched my shoulder. I looked at him slowly but didn't say anything. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"He's.... going after Sora and Riku next..." Seph said softly. I nodded stiffly. This was for real this time. Leon had dug his own grave.. he was going to go all the way now. No second thoughts, no regrets it seemed.

And I was just starting to feel sorry for him....

I'd protect Sora and Riku with my life. Leon would never find them. They were safe at my place. He didn't know where I lived. I'd have Sora and Riku long gone from there by the time he figured out where my place was.

For now... things were okay.

I took a deep breath and swallowed before I got out of the car. We'd reached my place in what seemed like seconds and parked. Seph opened my door for me and helped me out. My legs felt week for some reason.

"Relax." Seph breathed. I nodded and we went to enter the building. The elevator ride was silent and slightly awkward. I could only imagine what Seph was thinking about. Knowing him, and how he thinks, he was probably trying to figure out why Leon had set his house on fire. I don't think Leon would have known we were coming. Maybe he was afraid of the police finding evidence of the rapes instead. Yes! That had to be it. But why burn the whole house....? If Leon had indeed started the fire... I know he hadn't meant to burn the entire neighborhood down....

I nearly ran to my door when the elevator doors slid open. I went to disarm the alarm system and froze. The little green dial pad that I entered the unlock code in was blinking, saying 'ready'. That meant, the alarm system was already off.

"Oh my god." I hissed and pushed open my door. Further surprise and an even bigger shock was that the door was unlocked. No chain on or anything.

There is no way Leon could have found my place... or gotten here so fast....

There's just no way!

"Sora!" I yelled and started searching rooms. "Sora!"

I'd gone to every room in the house and there was no sign of him. My nerves felt like they'd fall out of my body at any given moment. I was so worried I thought I'd faint from mental exhaustion.

"Cloud." Sephiroth said and turned me to look at the window in the living room. I'd been in such a fuss that I'd completely over looked the living room. No lights were on so I hadn't even noticed Sora sitting, balled up in a blanket, in from of the window. I sighed in relief and sunk to the couch. Seph continued to stand by me and the 3 of sat in silence for a long time. I noticed how dark the sky was outside, not from the night time, but from dark black clouds forming in the sky.

The fire....

"It's pretty... isn't it...." Sora said softly. His voice sounded almost whimsical. I sat up and leaned forward. That little comment from him unsettled me to no end.

What... the hell?

"Sora, are you alright?" I was trying to keep my voice steady. But in all honesty, I felt like crying. So many things had happened so fast it was just... crashing down on me so quickly. I was at my wits end really. What had I gotten myself into...?

"I'm fine." Sora said and turned to look at me with a curious expression on his face. He looked fine enough and for a moment I believed him. Then I saw this... really weird glint in his eyes. It's a glint you'd see in a crazy persons eyes.

"I left the door unlocked for you. I was falling asleep again...." Sora said and turned back to stare out the window. I gave Seph a worried glance. He looked at me and just nodded.

"Sora, that was really dangerous. What if it hadn't been me or Seph who came in?" I had to scold him about that. Sora shrugged. "What if? No one but Sephiroth knows where you live right" I didn't like how Sora said that. He was testing me greatly when he made that very true but smart ass remark.

I contained my anger at the moment.

"Sora..."

I started and licked my lips. How to ask this...? "What... what did you want to tell me? You said you had something to tell me on the phone earlier. Is it...is it about what Leon did?" I felt like I was talking to a 4 year old. Sora didn't look at me and for a moment it didn't seem like he was going to say anything. The suspense was eating at me and I started to fidget. If Sora didn't say something soon I would...

"Leon.. burned down the house..." Sora whispered. He wasn't asking me this. He seemed to just know. He turned those haunted eyes back my way and I felt frozen in place.

"There was no point... all the evidence isn't there anyway..." Sora stood up suddenly and walked over to me. He looked me in the eye and said.

"I.... had to be sure..."

His face was so serious when he said that. He sat down next to me and rested his head back on the back rest of the couch. I watched him for a moment, processing this new bit of cryptic information.

"What do you mean?" I asked frowning. Sure of what?

"No one knew about it but me." Sora sat up and gazed back out the window. "He used to tell me things. About his past. About what happened to him.... About Seifer, you know, his old boyfriend."

I tensed. Oh my god.. Sora.... knew about Leon's secret.... I think....

"I hid it you see. So I could be sure. I had to read it to make sure I was right." Sora cleared his throat and stood up.

Okay... Sora did know about Leon's past...

He glanced down at me for a brief moment before he went and picked up his blanket. He balled up in it and crawled onto the other couch across from me.

"I know why he went after Aeris. And I'm sorry. It's my fault."

Seph and I both frowned in confusion.

"Sora... how is it your fault that Leon..." I started but Sora shook his head.

"No, it's my fault. I took it from him and hid it. He.. he never looked at it.. and I figured he wouldn't notice it was gone before I could put it back. But then.. all of this started to happen...I never managed to get it back. He went after Aeris because of that. Because of me."

"What are you talking about Sora?" I said tersely. Even though I knew full well what he meant.

Sora closed his eyes and seemed like he wasn't going to say anything more.

"His diary."

I bit my lip and tried to act slightly surprised.

"You don't have to fake it. I know you saw it. During the news, when they showed Aeris's kitchen. I saw all of the boxes knocked over." Sora looked at Sephiroth and smiled slightly.

"You found it didn't you?" He asked. Seph nodded without hesitation. Sora smiled at the floor. "So you see. It was my fault Leon went to Aeris's house in the first place. If I'd never hid his diary in the newspaper he wouldn't have gone to look for it." Sora was twirling his fingers rather nervously now.

"I... I lied. I pretended I wanted to start training again so I'd have an excuse to go over Aeris's house all the time. When I wasn't practicing I'd sit in the garage and read through the diary. It was my idea actually, for Leon to give Aeris the old newspapers in the first place. He was going to throw them out. I just needed some time... I took his diary about a week before all of this bad stuff happened and hid it in the newspapers. I helped Aeris move the boxes to her house. They'd been in the garage the whole time. I guess... Aeris moved them into her house after a while."

I stood up suddenly and stared down in shock at Sora. Hearing him say all of this. Hearing him admit it only further perplexed me. I still.... didn't know why he'd done it in the first place. But.... it was all starting to come together. This was making some very creepy and fucked up sense. All of this right under my nose and I never even noticed.

"Sora. Tell me why exactly, did you want to read Leon's diary."

Sora chewed his bottom lip and frowned.

"Why...?" He whispered. I swallowed. Dreading the answer. Knowing now what I did about Leon's past.. and knowing Sora...

Oh... god in heaven...

"I wanted to know why such a beautiful person, with such a kind heart could be so cold. I wanted to know what had had happened to him to make him hate being close to anyone. I felt sorry for him at first, but then... I wanted to be with him. I wanted to make him happy. I wanted him to like me.... I know about his past Cloud. That's why I didn't mind. That's why I never said no.... It was okay in the end. I'd been happy enough in my life. He deserved to be content for once...."

My eyes grew wide.

"I... loved him I guess... For a moment"

My voice cracked. And I couldn't say a word. So.... I was right. Sora.. had never considered Leon having raped him from the start. That's why it didn't bother him. In his mind Leon hadn't done anything to hurt him. Sora felt so sorry for Leon that he didn't even care about his own well being. He gave his innocence over to a broken man out of pure love. Out of simply wanting to see him smile.

And Leon had abused Sora's blind love. And then he hurt the one Sora truly loved.

*Gasp*

I covered my mouth. Oh shit.. why didn't I see it before.... Oh my freaking GOD!

Leon's in LOVE with Sora....

That's why he raped Riku!!

To scare him away from Sora.....

And also... because it happened to him too.

Riku... Riku...

"Where is Riku anyway? I... I have to tell him this." I said quickly. I couldn't express how damn good it felt to finally have some understanding of this whole big fucked up mess. I felt like I'd just solved the mystery of the century.

"Sora, where is Riku?" I asked again and walked over to him. Sora shrugged and my mood fell instantly.

No... no... just when... NO!

"He's gone."

I heard Seph cough slightly and mutter oh shit under his breath.

"...I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. What now?" I said in a soft but frustrated voice. Sora sighed and rolled his eyes.

"He's gone. As in, he packed his clothes, took his wallet and left."

Okay, to hell with hiding my frustration.

"He WHAT!? WHY?! I told you guys to stay here!" I wasn't trying to yell directly at Sora. I wanted to yell at Riku though. What the fuck was he thinking. Didn't he know what Leon was out there looking for him.

"Where did he say...."

"He didn't." Sora cut me off and crossed his arms. I realized that he was being smart. He was upset, scared and worried. I sighed heavily and sat down next to my distraught 'adopted' little brother and pulled him into a hug.

"Sora.. what happened? I thought Riku was okay?" Great going Cloud. Just yell at the kid even though none of this was his fault. I knew that bad feeling was trying to tell me something. Even after I saw the fire it didn't go away. It was because of Riku leaving.

"He said he needed help. That he had to get away from me so he wouldn't hurt me anymore."

I glanced at Seph and noticed he'd sat down to listen to our conversation. He shook his head at me, telling me he wasn't going to intervene.

"What do you mean anymore? Riku's... hurt you before...?"

Life just didn't get any better did it....

"Just once. We had a fight. We yelled and screamed. But that's what couples do... They argue sometimes..."

I thought about that. It was true. Seph and I hadn't yet. I hope we never did....

"He hit me... but that was my fault. He was upset about me telling Aeris about Leon first and for me not telling him until after he was raped. I said something horrible to him. I deserved it. It's fine." Sora glared at me. "And don't say it isn't. It's over and done with. Riku's apologized a hundred times over for it okay."

I wouldn't ask again. There was only so much I could control about Sora and Riku's relationship. If Sora was over Riku hitting him.... then okay. But if I ever see it....

"..Go on..." I pushed. Sora shivered and his face scrunched up in pain.

"I'm worried... but relived that Riku wants to get help. I realized I couldn't help him in anyway because I don't feel Leon raped me. He did rape Riku. I know that. And I feel so bad about that. It's my fault. But... I'm just so tired Cloud..." Sora covered his face with his hands.

"I just seemed to make things worse by trying to make Riku forget about it... I felt separated from him... even if he was 2 feet from me. I was helpless to do anything to help him cope... And I rubbed it in his face how weak he was for trying to kill himself....."

I sprung up like a jack in the box. My voice caught in my throat for a moment.

"Kill... suicide... how... what did he do...?" I gasped. 'Oh my god' was running through my mind. I don't know why I say that so much... I'm not a religious person... But God... if you're real... please please let Riku be okay. I don't know.... hit him with a gust of wind, strike him with a jolt of lightning! Something! Anything! Just please let him be okay!

Please...

"He tried to slit his wrist the other night. He felt bad for hitting me and after we had sex he snuck off to the bathroom while I was asleep."

I blinked. So... let me get this straight. Riku and Sora had a fight. They yell, Sora says something mean, Riku hits him, they have sex, Riku feels bad and tries to kill himself....?

And I thought I was fucked up....

....Sora and Riku have sex? .... In my apartment...? Should I be worried that 2 minors are indulging like that?

*Lifts eyebrow*

This is some talk show shit right here...

"He chickened out. I told him he was trying to cowardly find a way to escape reality. He was so mad at me. But I was right. It's okay though. Riku admitted to it. He wants to get better. So....."

Sora rubbed his face and forced a pained smile. "...So I let him go... I didn't want to discourage him." Sora looked slightly pleased with himself. I couldn't think of the proper way to get it across to him that Leon was still out there looking for him and Riku.

"Why did you let him go alone?" I pulled at my hair and Seph finally intervened. He pulled my fingers free of my hair and told me to calm down. I growled.

"Sora..... do you know Riku's going to panic if he meets up with Leon on the streets. He's terrified of him. After the rape, what he did to you, what he did to Aeris. Sora... he's in danger. I can't believe you.... Man!"

I went limp in Seph's arms and stared blindly out the window. The sun had set and I could see the black clouds looming over district 3 were starting to thin. It seemed that the fire was getting tamed.

Those poor people. If they didn't loose their lives... they lost their homes....

"I'll go look for Riku. Cloud, you stay here okay."

Seph let me go and headed for the door. My eyes widened and I chased after him.

"You'll what!? What the fuck? Seph... you can't... not alone... I'll..."

"No Cloud. I'll be fine by myself. Leon smaller then me. If I have to... hurt him I will. But you need to stay here with Sora...." Seph leaned into whisper to me, his tone so serious it sent frightened chills down my spine.

"He's acting all nonchalant about Riku leaving, but he's just as suicidal as Riku is. You need to keep an eye on him. I have a feeling.... he'll be way more extreme about how he takes himself out. Like pitching himself out of that window maybe..."

I choked and realized to my extreme horror that the window Sora sat by did indeed open...and we were on the 17th floor of the apartment building.

"Riku's only been gone since the last time you spoke to him last night right. He's safe so far. I know this because Leon wouldn't have been so extreme in destroying his house if he'd already found and gotten rid of Riku. I'll call you when I find him."

I gaped at Sephiroth and watched him head for the door again.

"Wait." I called slightly. Seph looked over his shoulder.

"The more time I waste starting my search the less chance I have of finding Riku alive. What's wrong?" He was getting agitated. He was just a worried as I was.

"I have a favor to ask you." I stepped forward and put my hands over his heart. He eyed me questioningly.

"You love me right? So much the words are insignificant?"

Seph answered yes without a second of hesitation and put his hands around my waist.

"Then do this for me. I know you don't like getting your work and personal life mixed together but just.... do this okay." I chewed my lip. I can't believe about to tell my boyfriend to do this.

"Don't bring Riku home when you find him."

Seph frowned but let me continue before he asked why.

"Take him to your place."

Seph's eyes widened.

"Just for tonight.... or until he's ready. I want to keep him and Sora separate for a bit. But that's not all. Seph... Riku likes you. I can see it in his eyes when you come around. If you can, if you don't mind sharing your love just once, love him when you find him. If you're willing not matter what it takes."

I'm going to regret saying that.... I know I am.... I'd just told Seph to sleep with a 17 year old if he had too...

I went on... and my voice shook at how horrible I was starting to feel about asking Seph to do this.

"Sh... Show him that it's okay to love someone. T... that not everyone is after him to hurt him. He feels used and dirty.... And... and I.... I know exactly how he feels. I just need you to do this... because I can't...."

I really can't help him can I...?

I pursed my lips and kissed Seph on the cheek before I pushed him out the door. He looked over his shoulder with a horrified expression. He was asking me silently was I out of my mind. I smiled and blew a kiss his way. He caught it and put it in this pocket. Before I closed the door I whispered.

"Riku doesn't like me the way he likes you."

*click*

I waited until I couldn't hear Seph's foot steps anymore and went back into the living room. Sora was curled up on the couch sleeping contently. I went sat next to him and stroked his hair. He really was a cute sweet kid. He did deserve to be happy and safe. After everything he's gone through. The deal with the Heartless, being used, loosing Riku..

It.... must've been hard on the little guy...

I heard Sora whimper and leaned in to watch him. His eyes were closed in a relaxed sleeping manner and tears were streaming down his face. I wrapped my arm around him and rocked him slightly. He tries to be so tough and brave while he's awake and in front of everyone.

*sniff* "Riku...."

It's okay Sora. We'll find him.

I promise you that.

--------

Sephiroth

--------

If I were an emotionally frustrated 17 year old that just experienced the shock of his life where would I be? Well, it's cold, dark, and everyone on the streets is leering at me like a hungry monster, so I'm going to try and find somewhere that's lit and crowded.... and warm.

The mall.

I don't know why that was the first thought to come to my mind. Being a psychologist had it's odd points. I was always catching myself thinking like my patients. But this situation didn't require and degree in human psychology. It was obvious. Riku was at his wits end now. He just had to get away. Not permanently, but just for a little while to sort his thoughts and feelings out. I know it bothers him that Sora finds nothing wrong with what Leon did to him. It perplexes me too. Sora's and new case to say the least. I think it's just his nature to always want people to be pleased by what he does. If the person ends up happy then he can life with whatever pain he experienced during the time.

He's... a weird kid... Weird as in... I wouldn't do the things he does if I was in this situation. Riku's the one making more sense to me. Or maybe... it's because I can relate to some extent. Always being the leader or always being in charge. It makes you feel like you aren't allowed to just break every once in a while. You can't feel helpless or sad. You'll look weak if you do...

Yes... I can relate to Riku quite well.

But.... I was feeling a little nervous about finding him now. After what Cloud had just asked me to do. Shock of my life. I'm 26.... I've seen and been through many mind altering things in my life.... but to get asked by my boyfriend to 'love' Riku, or sleep with him... I think I'm going to have nightmares about this for a long time. I doubt it will come to that though. I know Riku likes me. I'm not blind. But I don't think he'll do anything about it. Considering the state of mind he's in when I find him though.... there's no telling.

I was about to enter the parking lot to the mall and just glanced absently to my left. I hit the brakes and looked very surprised in the direction of the city bridge that was only about 20-30 feet away. This bridge was just to the side of the train that led into Downtown Traverse. The only way besides the bridge into Travers Downtown. It was a sheer drop about 40 feet down if you fell. The river ran under it. I had good vision I suppose, or it was the moonlight playing tricks on me maybe. But there he was standing really close to the place no railings were and he was looking down into the pitch black water.

Well, I'd found Riku.

In record time too. Not even 45 minutes.

I got out my car after I parked and walked the rest of the way to the bridge. I looked around and noted the lack of any other people near by. Strange considering this is the nice part of town. But then again, their is an armed and dangerous serial rapist/attempted murderer on the loose.

Wasn't a gun law passed a few months ago? You would think people would be a little braver. You know, what to protect their sons and daughters...

Hmph...

I tried to stay quiet while I walked up behind Riku. I didn't want to startle him, have him loose his balance and fall to his untimely death. What would I say to Cloud...? But I didn't want to seem like I was sneaking up on him either. I didn't know the state of mind he was in. He might panic and really jump if I try to stop him from doing so. I paused and frowned.

Okay.... so I am I going to get close enough to talk to him without endangering his life...?

"Riku." I called as softly as I could. I'll just get his attention.

To my surprise he didn't jump, flinch, or seem surprised. That made me feel a little more confident about walking up to him and I took a few steps. Riku's silvery hair blew in the wind and into his face but he didn't move to brush it aside... or move at all to do anything. Like turn to look at me.

"What's it been...?" Riku said softly. His voice carried on the cold wind right into my face. "Not even 24 hours and Big Brother Cloud has you out searching for me?"

Big Brother Cloud? Hmm... interesting.

"He's just worried about your safety. And no, he didn't send me after you." I smiled slightly at Riku's back. "I volunteered."

That made him turn around. He had this barely hidden look of surprise on his face that made me want to smile harder. One because he was blushing, and two because for the once he didn't have anything to say except....

"Why?" He turned fully around but made no attempt to get away from the bridges edge. I noticed his backpack sitting at his feet. It look pretty empty though.

"You want a reason why I came to find you? Uh huh. Can't you just say thank you? Cloud's worried about you." I was testing Riku. It was true he was a really handsome kid, but he had this attitude that really made me sneer at him. He... was ungrateful to say the least. I never told Cloud I felt like this about Riku for one reason. I hadn't known the boy long enough to know if he was like that all the time. But first impressions have a lasting affect.

Riku glared at me. "No I won't say thank you because I didn't ask you to come and look for me. I didn't ask you or Cloud to worry about me." He looked at his feet and his hair fell into his eyes. I blinked for a moment and felt dizzy....

Riku... looks a lot like me when I was his age...

Whoa....

He kind of acts the way I used as well.....

"You heard the news right?" I took a small step forward. Riku didn't look up.

"Yeah.... so what?" He muttered.

"Leon's on the loose, he's coming to kill you and Sora. Probably you mostly. He even burned his house and half of the 3rd district down." I took another step and had to brush my hair out my face from the wind whipping it around like a spiders web.

"And?" Riku said softly. His voice shook. He hadn't known about the fire. I rolled my eyes.

"You aren't scared? He's going to kill if he finds you. And he will find if you stay out here like this."

Riku shook slightly and I went on alert. He was still really close to the edge of the bridge. I'd better quite while I'm ahead.

"Riku, you want help right? It doesn't have to be like this You don't have to run away. Sora, Cloud, Aeris, all of your friends are worried about you. I'm worried to, and I barely know you. What I do know is that you're a good person. You deserve better then this."

Riku's macho persona was just an act. He was just a timid and helpless as Sora.

"What do you now about what I deserve?! You don't even fucking know me! What makes you think I'm a good person? Do you know what I did to Sora when all he was trying to do was help me?! I hit him and raped him. I'm no better then Leon! I deserve shit! Don't look at me look at me like that! I'm worthless and you know it!"

Riku took a breath and coughed. I shook my head.

"I thought I didn't know anything about you. So how can I know you're worthless?"

Riku gave a quick sob and covered his face with his shaky hands.

"J... just leave me alone okay. I need some time to myself... I just.... want... God... I don't know what I want...."

"To die?" I asked softly and rather sadly. He was so young.... thinking of things like that.

Riku looked up and I saw how shiny his eyes were. He was on the verge of crying. Aw... I didn't want to make him cry....

"No..." He whispered. "I'm... not going to jump. I just needed to clear my head. I told, I promised Sora I wouldn't attempt suicide again. That's why I left. So I could get help...

"You will die if you stay on the edge of that bridge or out here. Leon could have easily come up and pushed you..." I had to just point that out for Riku. He gave me a startled expression, realizing it was very true what I'd said.

"Sora's worried about you Riku. He's trying to stay optimistic about you getting help and coming back. But I can see how sorrowful he is that you're gone. He feels like he failed you."

Riku closed his eyes and a few tears leaked down his cheeks.

"I don't now why he keeps... tell him to stop worrying about me... God... I don't understand how he can love me when I've hurt so much..."

"Love is a very powerful thing. As cliche as that may sound. I mean... it got you this far. You're still alive... at the moment."

Riku gave a bitter laugh. I finally walked up so we were standing barely 4 feet apart. Riku was up a little higher then me.

"Riku, we're here. Sora, Cloud, Aeris, and me..... I know you and I have only known each other for... barely 4 days... but sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger...." I reached out with my right hand to Riku. He stared at it for a long time. I could see the internal conflict being fought behind his eyes.

Should I take this mans hand? Can he help? Maybe he can. What if he can't? Can I trust him?...

"I'm not your responsibility.... Why are you doing this..?

Riku reached out just slightly to me. I smiled.

"Because I can. And because no body did it for me."

Riku took my hand.

"I don't want to go back yet. To Clouds place. I can't... confront Sora just yet..."

I nodded and grabbed Riku's bag and lead him to my car. I'm so glad I didn't have to drag him to it with him kicking and screaming. Imagine how that would have looked to any onlookers.

"I'll take you to my place for a while. But after 2 days, call Sora and tell him you're alright okay." I unlocked the car doors and Riku and I got in. We didn't talk on the drive to my apartment and by the time we got there he was fast asleep. I carried him to up my place and put him in one of my shirts. I noticed the dirty bandage on his arm and changed it after cleaning his wound. He was... really close to succeeding in killing himself with that razor blade. Riku was really pale and kind of to thin. It was odd... changing his clothes with him dead asleep like that. Hmmm... His clothes were wet and cold and I'm surprised he was showing signs of being sick yet. In the morning maybe if he didn't wake up half way through the night.

*sigh* It's been a long day. I guess I'm on the couch. I don't want him waking up thinking I did anything to him. He probably won't even remember how he got her in the morning.

I guess... I'll take a shower now.

-------

Leon

-------

4 hours to put that fire out. No telling how many people died in it. Whatever. Doesn't matter to me either way. No one cares about me so why should I worry about them. The fire had made a very good distraction. The police were so busy trying to evacuate people from district 3 that they had no time to look for me. I was back inside the old abandoned Inn in district 2 listening to all of the noise outside. Fire trucks, ambulances, police cars, kept wiring past the building. None of them ever stopped.

They'd never find me...

I chanced a peek out the window and noticed people on the streets. I couldn't hear any talking over the blaring sirens. The crowds were big and everyone looked scared. It was funny. I was so close to them, they were so terrified of me, and they didn't even dare to search the Inn. I could probably kill half the people in the crowd and the police wouldn't notice until the rest of the crowd left and they could see the bodies.

Beautiful!

I'm a bastard I know. But this was all so fucking fun.

I started to laugh softly at my own wicked thoughts and looked out the window again. I stopped abruptly and eyed a person closet to the Inn from my window. This person looked so familiar.... who the hell was that...

A boy...

I knew him...

Oh yeah...

What was his name...? Damn... don't remember. You'd think the little cock sucker wouldn't be stupid enough to be outside knowing I'm on the loose. Dumb little shit. Oh well, saves me the trouble of hunting him down. Yup.

I got up then and grabbed my Gunblade. I took the back way out of the Inn and came out in an alley not far from the chaos up front. I could sneak around and grab the little fucker really quick and easily.

Heh.... heheheheheh... blood was going to be spilled tonight.

Lots of it.

------

Riku

------

Had I jumped and died and gone to Heaven?

I was so comfortable and warm and fuzzy feeling right now that it was hard for me to open my eyes. Where was I? How'd I get here? Who's... shirt is this...?

I sat up quickly and looked around. I didn't recognize anything in this room and I felt like I'd start hyperventilating at any moment. I just had to get my bearings straight. I wasn't in danger... I knew... but where the hell was I. I couldn't find the energy to climb out of this huge insanely comfortable bed I was in. It was like being on clouds. I looked around again and saw the time. Only 10:23 pm huh? I'd barely been gone from Cloud's place a day. I'd never been in or seen the inside of Clouds room so I assumed this was it. So Sephiroth had taken me back.

I thought he was on my side.

Sephiroth....

Oh my god....

I sat up again and looked around really carefully this time. I could smell his cologne on the blankets, in my hair, and on the shirt I wore. This was in no way Cloud's house or his bedroom.

"So..."

I froze and looked to my right. There he was, standing there, steam from the bathroom out behind him, naked from the waist up, only a towel hiding his assets, and that silky silver hair plastered to his shoulders. Sephiroth.

He looked like a Greek God to me at that moment. Zeus didn't have shit on him.

"You're finally awake." he said.

I couldn't think of anything to say.

To be continued as always.

I feel better this time around and I'm very happy with this chapter. 42 pages for you guys this time. This chapter was getting so long I was thinking of breaking it into two parts. I know it's getting good but I had to cut it off here. The rest will be revealed in the next chapter. I should be able to wrap up IC in 20 chapters. If it takes more then so be it. I love writing it anyway. I found it rather interesting that people still have no sympathy for Leon even after learning about his past. I want to give him a big hug! *snigger* So what did you guys think of Leon's little point of view? Pretty trippy huh? It was hard and really creepy trying to get into his head and think like that. Are you guys confused? If so then GOOD! Everything is coming along exactly as I planned. For anyone that can guess what's going on with him though, I'll make you a walk in character for chapter 16 during the police station scene, for real this time. I'll be checking reviews. Oh yeah, wasn't Cloud and Seph's sex scene hot?! I had fun writing that one. And does everyone just Love Seph. I will be writing from his perspective more in the next few chapters. Hahahahaha, he has to do naughty stuff with Riku... maybe... And last but not least... Is anyone angry with Sora? If you think about it, this is kind of his fault. Messing with peoples shit. See, being nosy is a bad thing. *sigh* Poor babies. Things will get worse before they get better.... oh... you guys are going to be mad at me about the ending.

Leaves room for a sequel!

I'll try to be quick with ch. 15. Luv you all!