None of the Characters belong to me. © Square Soft

I found it no one wants me to end IC in 20 chapters. I feel so loved. You guys really like my story. So this chapter is full of lots of character development. We get to see some intimate interaction between Riku and Seph mostly. Plus what's been going on with Leon hmm? Oh and you guys, my reviewers, are so sharp! I think almost all of the reviews I got for chapter 14 figured out what was up with Leon. It's pretty much revealed in this chapter too. Don't scroll down and try to find out either. Read Read, or you'll miss the yummy scenes of Seph and Riku. It's hard to decide who to give the cameo to in chapter 16. I may have to push it back to ch. 17 instead now. But the reviews are in dated order and I know who figured it out first. So many of you guys had such good theory's. Dude... I should just do a picture for the first place guesser and give the cameo to the 2nd and 3rd. How's that sound? It's more fair that way somehow you know. Oh well, onto the story.

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Chapter 15

What do you do with trash?

You get rid of it...

What do you do with filth?

You get rid of it...

And what do you do to tainted flesh...?

Get rid of it....

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Sephiroth

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He had the same awe struck expression on his face from the first time he saw me. His cheeks had shifted between so many shades of red I couldn't name each tint. He looked so shocked to see me standing there in nothing but a towel, so shocked, that he couldn't turn away or avert his gaze.

"I didn't expect you to be up so soon."

I said but stayed rooted in my spot by the door. I didn't want to scare Riku. I could only imagine what was going through his mind. Maybe he didn't mind me standing here, nearly naked, but if I came into the room he might start freaking out... thinking about Leon. But it was strange. Riku didn't seem afraid or nervous. Just a little shy. This was different and a little unexpected. I'd have to see what he'd do next to really know what mind frame he was in right now.

"I'll get you something to eat once I'm dressed. Just give me a few minutes okay." I didn't wait for the boy to say anything. His glazed unblinking expression was making me feel, I hate to admit, uncomfortable. I walked across the hall back to the bathroom and closed the door so I could dress. I took longer then I'd said because I was lost in thought. I really didn't know what to do next. Like I said before, I don't mix my work with my personal life. Cloud wanted me to... analyze Riku's current state and help him. This was far far different having him here in my home, in my bed, and knowing that he liked me. I never had to be so intimately close to a patient before. But should I classify Riku as a 'patient'. He is a friend of Clouds. So I guess that makes him my friend.

....None of this sounds even the slightest bit sane in my head you know....

I can't believe Cloud put me in this situation. And you know what... I pretty much agreed to do it...

How far would this really go?

Riku was a straight forward kind of kid. I could tell just by how brash he was towards me at the bridge. So if he harbored feelings for me.. would he do anything about it? Hmm, better question is.... what will I do if he tries something?

I sighed heavily and left the bathroom with my towel around my shoulders. My hair was still really wet and I absently ran my fingers through it while I walked into the room. The head of my bed is the first thing I can see when I walk in. I didn't see Riku on the bed at all.

"Riku?" I said softly. Thinking maybe he'd left the room to explore my apartment. His silver haired head popped up from the other side of the bed and he looked almost meekly at me.

"Yeah..?" He whispered. I smiled. He looked cute doing that, peeking out at me I went to sit on the bed. I frowned in curiosity at him for a moment.

"Why are you on the floor?" I asked and peeked farther over the bed to look at Riku. He shrank away from me and tried to crawl to the other side. I raised an eyebrow....

Okay... this was different.

"Hiding from you..." Riku said softly. I blinked quickly a few times before I laughed.

"And why, exactly, are you hiding from me?" I'm not sure just what kind of game Riku was playing, but I'd follow along and see where it went. He was acting very differently then from how he was on the bridge that's for sure.

"I don't know. Something to do I guess." His voice trailed from over the side of the bed. He sounded kind of down. "Your carpet's soft."

I laughed softly. Is this how Riku acts when he's with Sora? He was acting like a little kid. Then again... he probably never gets to show this side of himself. He's really not allowed to be a kid anymore. He was sort of forced to grow up fast to adapt to his current living situation. He's been through so much in such a short time. He's taking care of himself and Sora. He's very responsible now that I think about it. He took it upon himself to try and settle the issues with Leon. He's stubborn that way it seems. Doesn't like asking for help in the slightest.

"Can I take a shower?" Riku suddenly asked and climbed slowly up onto the bed. I turned to look at him and smiled.

"Sure. I'll get you some towels. Bathrooms down the hall."

Riku just nodded and proceeded to follow me out of the room. I went to the linen closet a got a set of towel for Riku to use and handed them to him.

"Hmm… I don't know if you'll like the soap I use. It's not scented or anything." I said absently to Riku. He made a face.

"…That's fine. I don't want to smell like flowers or anything." He said softly and turned for the bathroom. I sighed heavily once he'd closed the door. I noticed he didn't lock it. That may seem like an insignificant thing to notice right now. But considering Riku was alone in a strange mans house, and he didn't lock the door could only mean two things.

Riku either trusts me very much. Or he's just very foolish.

Not that I'm going to try anything. I want Riku to make the first move. Whatever that may be. I really hope he just decides to talk about his rape instead of trying something crazy. But I wasn't going to think about that now. I had to find something for Riku to eat.

What… do 17 year old boys eat?

Hmm…. Well, when I was that age I ate… cereal. I ate it almost all of the time actually. That is until I got into the military. I really missed corn flakes after that. But I don't think that'll be suitable for Riku right now. I couldn't really tell if he'd eaten at all today. Probably not.. He did look a little under nourished. It had to be from his depression. I remember Cloud telling me he had to force Riku to eat sometimes. Would he eat now if I asked him to?

This shouldn't be this difficult should it?

Canned soup. This will work.

I pulled down the moderately sized can of chicken noodle soup from the overhead cabinet. I wondered vaguely when had I bought canned soup. Must have been Cloud's doing.

You know. He can' t cook to save his life. That's why he's always suggesting we have dinner at my place. So I can cook for him.

Brat.

I pulled out a pot and the can opener and proceeded to cook Riku's soup. The boy had just turned off the shower faucet when his soup came to a boil. I added some pepper and herbs to the soup to rid if of the out of the can flavor I'm sure it had. Riku was coming out of the bathroom just as I was finishing putting his soup in a bowl to carry to my room.

Normally I'd make him sit at the kitchen table and eat. I didn't even eat in my own room. I suppose I'll be nice just once and let Riku enjoy the luxury of dinner in bed.

Riku was dressed and patting his hair dry by the time I walked into the room. He gave me a sidelong glance before averting his eyes from me. I shrugged and sat down his dinner.

"Soup and crackers okay?" I asked and sat down a distance from Riku on the bed. I noticed he'd found another one of my shirts to put on after his bath.

"I didn't have anything else." Riku said softly, his tone slightly apologetic. I shook my head to dismiss his forgiving words. I didn't care if he wore my clothes. It's just fabric after all. I was really only staring because I'd noticed how big my clothes where on him. Riku's…. much to small for his age.

"What?" Riku whispered and gave me a weary glare. Hmmm…. I could only imagine how crazed I must have looked staring blankly at him like that just now. I was slowly screwing this whole 'help Riku get over his rape' mission up.

"I'm sorry. I blanked out for a moment. That's all." I apologized quickly. I didn't, above all else, want to give Riku the wrong idea. I couldn't have him thinking I was after him or anything.

"Soups fine. Thank you." Riku said softly and crawled behind me to get to his food. I passed him the soup bowl so he wouldn't spill on himself or my bed and he put a napkin across his lap. And for about 5 or 6 minutes he ate in silence and I just started out the window.

Riku slurped his soup rather loudly one time and I turned to look at him. He was coughing slightly.

"Ack…. *cough* went… down… the wrong…*cough* …tube…" He chocked. I chuckled slightly and passed him his glass of water while patting his back. He drank just enough to calm his coughing.

"Better now?" I asked and sat his water glass back on the nightstand. Riku shook his head. I noticed how flushed and red his cheeks had become. How embarrassing that must have been?

"Take your time." I soothed and went back to staring out of the window. Riku finished eating a short time later.

"Are you full? I can make you more if you're still hungry."

Riku looked like he wanted to say yes that he was still hungry. But something made him say otherwise. Maybe he thought he'd be rude asking for more. He didn't seem to know what to say so I answered for him.

"I'll make some more soup a little later okay."

Riku seemed content with that notion and went silent. He stared across the room for a few unblinking moments before I noticed him dozing off. He'd sunk back into the pillows and blanket again.

"Good night Riku." I whispered and pulled the blanket up over him. He woke up startled at my voice and gave me a strange look.

"What?" He said quickly. I smiled and shook my head.

"You were falling asleep. I just said goodnight."

"Oh…." Riku looked around dazed for a second as he laid back down. "Go.. good night then." He said. I think he fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.

Hmph, good night? More like good morning. It was almost 4 am.

To the couch I go then…

*sigh*

I couldn't have been asleep for more then 2 hours or so. I kept hearing this soft but gradually growing whimper coming from the other room. I was groggy from only having slept a short time and it took me a minute to wake up. I stared around absently, trying to figure out where I was and remembered I had to sleep in the couch. There was soft blue light coming in the window behind me so I assumed it was starting to get light out now. I sat up and groaned. Ung... my back ached already. I was much to young to be grunting when I sat up. This brought back memories of my days in the military. I can't complain really though. A couch is much better then a cot or the ground. Still not as nice as bed though.

I shook my head and smoothed my hair behind my ears and tried to pinpoint the source of the soft breathy whimpers. I walked halfway up the hallway to my room and listened.

"...no... get away from me... no... don't..."

It was Riku.

He was having a nightmare. It wasn't hard to figure out what he was dreaming about. But now here comes the hard part. Should I wake Riku up?

The most logical answer was yes.

But I don't know how he'll act if I jolt him out of his sleep.

And considering how intense his dream seems to be... he may think I'm Leon trying to attack him.

"Riku." I whispered. I was going to try to avoid touching him if I could. "Riku." I said a little louder. He groaned and his face scrunched up in pain. He made a chocking sound in his throat and I had to recoil for a moment. The way he was acting..... it was rather horrifying...

He was dreaming about his rape...

And acting it out in his sleep...

Riku arched his back and screamed at the top of his lungs. I hadn't been expecting him to do that and it startled me. I covered my ears and took a step back. It was like watching someone possessed by a demon. Riku's head thrashed back and fourth and I noticed tears leaking from his tightly closed eyes. He was suffering that horrible abuse all over again...

But... I couldn't bring myself to wake him up.

I don't... know why... but I wanted to see... it...

I was intrigued... as a doctor.... and... so I could...

...Er... not like that... I just... I'd always...

Er... never mind...

"Riku.... wake up." I said again and started to reach out to just shake him awake. I couldn't stand to hear him in pain anymore. I paused though and frowned. Riku was cradling his lower abdomen. I wonder if he still felt any pain there from the rape. I know... from what Sora had told us, that he never went to the hospital after his rape. He could have internal scaring.

"....please... don't..." Riku breathed shakily. He rolled over slightly, almost like he was trying to get away from his attacker and I saw the blood for the first time all over the sheets. I got a sudden rush of pain to my head at the sight and I felt really dizzy. I groaned and absently gripped my abdomen.

*wince* ...Bad memories...

I shook my head and stared at the floor. On the sheets... Where had the blood come from...? There was no way Riku was still bleeding from his rape....

I had to think really hard on this for a moment.

Wait...

I looked up and racked my vision over Riku's shivering frame and noticed the bloody bandage around his wrist. I rubbed a trembling hand over my face and sighed.

His... wrist was bleeding... that was all.

I looked at my hands and realized I was trembling. I was starting to feel very ill all of a sudden. This whole intense moment was far to disturbing. It was like watching one of my bad memory come to life. Riku looked so much like me... I just kept seeing back to when I was in the military...

Of all the times to start re-envisioning my past...

I suppose you'd like to know what I'm taking about....

......

They all thought I was so pretty...

...I must have been... 15....

I cut my hair up to the nape of my neck so they'd stop pulling it during drills. I was smaller then most of the to other troops when I was 15. Surprise, surprise. I used to get picked on about everything. The words never really bothered me... up until some of other troops started making crude sexual comments about me.

The military is a very evil and cruel place...

There's a lot of horrible things that goes on there...

I went experienced a lot of them...

I had the skill and the power to advance up the ranks quicker and more efficiently then any of the other rookies there. But none of the Captains would recommend me for SOLDIER status. They told me they had to break me. That I hadn't witnessed true corruption yet...

I was never allowed to fight them back. Or I'd be punished.

There were 3 of them the first time. They held my arms down and gagged me. They called it hazing of the new recruits.

They'd lured me out into the woods surrounding the camp... they were upper ranking grunts so I had to listen to them no matter what. I had no clue where I was and they attacked me. I fought back at first, and was almost winning. One of them kicked me in the base of my spine and I was paralyzed. I collapsed and that's when they took advantage of me. I didn't beg them to stop. I wouldn't give them the pleasure of seeing me at their mercy. So I took it. After about 4 times between the 3 of them I lost consciousness. They dumped cold water on me to wake me up and then they left me. Beaten, raped, and bloody. Need less to say the walk back to my bunk was pure Hell. My clothes were so ripped and bloody I just buried them in some odd place in the woods.

I was so sore the next day I could barely stand let alone walk. Sitting down didn't help much either. I kept loosing my footing and staggering. I tried to hide my pain from others and keep a straight face. There were a few times during breaks that I'd go into a dark deserted area of the training grounds and cry from being in so much pain. I almost overdosed on aspirin. I'd taken them to numb the pain in my back, abdomen, and... yeah there.... It helped a little but I was only 15 and far to young to be taking aspirin. At least so much one after the other. After about 12 of them, taken every 2 hours I think, I started to feel tired and really faint. When my vision started to blur I got scared and forced myself to throw up to get some of the drug out of my system. I passed out behind my dorm and was out for about 5 hours. No one even seemed to notice.....

The same boys that had raped me shoved me around for the next few days afterwards. They knew I was in pain and did it anyway. I wanted to fight them back but I knew they'd all just gang up on me and beat the hell out of me. So I took it.... What was worse... was that I knew my squads Captain knew about what had been done to me. He made me run 20 laps around the training pit. That's a mile and half, 20 times....

I only managed to do 16...

I had to do push ups after that. 300 of them.

I only barely managed to do 210.

I kept falling behind every one else. I couldn't even keep up with the troops that normally did very poorly during drills.

The military is against homosexuality. They practically bash gays in there. Women, besides nurses, really weren't allowed in. But the military literally invokes sexual abuse of the younger male troops. Especially the ones with pretty faces. I was still to young too really know I liked boys but I was getting the feeling that I did. My Captain seemed to know this. And what was worse was that I knew it wasn't just me that was suffering this degradation and abuse. There were other boys. They were just to terrified to say anything. I became friends with one of them. You could say he was my first love.

His name was Zack.

I really did love him....

He was the only person who'd really talk to me. I was a pretty cold antisocial kid back then. But somehow Zack managed to break the ice and warm me over. He was always smiling. No matter what. He was 2 years younger then me. He'd lied on his entrance papers, saying he was 14, when in fact he'd barely been 13 for 3 months.

I ran in on him being raped once by one our squads Lieutenants. The older man didn't see me but Zack did.

Zack said no so many times.

So many times.

But Lieutenant Walker, that was his name, Jason Walker, the bastard, he threatened Zack by saying he'd put up pictures of him having sex with some of the other troops. That let me know that this instant wasn't the first time Zack had been raped.

I cried sitting there, helpless, and listening to Zack's pained cries for hours and hours on end. I wanted to leave so I couldn't hear his pained cries anymore... but I was afraid if I left Walker would somehow kill Zack. He kept begging Walker to slow down, or to be more gentle. He even said once he'd stay longer if Walker wouldn't be so rough.

13 years old...

But now I see why the other boys just gave into being defiled.

Black mail...

They couldn't suffer the shame and embarrassment. And what was worse was that the older troops raping those boys would get off clean for their crimes.

When Zack came back to the barracks that night. He gave me slight grin and put his index finger to his lips.

Shhhh....

He'd said...

He hobbled to his bed and passed out. I didn't ask or mention anything about his sexual abuse after that. He never said anything about it either.

I remember one day the Captain of my squad wanted to see me in his office. He told me there were rumors of my being the 'Drill squad 24 whore.' That was name of my drill group. The Drill Squad 24. I almost threw up after hearing him describe some of the rumors. I couldn't believe things like that where being passed around like that about me. What was worse was that some of them were true. I tried to explain that I was forced into those things. I didn't want to do them. I couldn't fight back against 6 and 7 boys twice my size.

They would have killed me.....

My Captain seemed to care less how much I'd suffered. He told me if he heard about it again he'd have me suspended until the new drill quarter starts. That would be 6 months from that day. He went on to tell me that I was a poor student, I was just barely passing my general education classes with C's and D's. That my drill scores had fallen so horribly that I probably wouldn't even be allowed to take the final test.

That was impossible.

It was true that I was always tired and sore. Even so I never let myself fall behind. I mean, I was always getting bullied... and molested by the older troops. I was to the point that I was getting up 2 hours early just to avoid having to shower with the other troops. But I know I wasn't failing that bad.

I told my Captain I didn't believe him.

He back handed me and told me if I ever talked to him like that again I'll be discharged. I bowed my head and submitted to him. He was my Captain. I had no choice but to do as he said.

Then.... he propositioned me.

I never agreed.

I was forced to say yes.

If I let him fuck me on a regular basis he'd let me move up in the ranks as fast as I wanted to. I told him no without a second thought. That I could advance on my own. Then he told me he'd make sure I stayed a grunt for the rest of my life if I didn't do what he wanted. I was to the point where I didn't care. I'd rather die then let him touch me.

He pulled out a black box and sat some pictures down for me to look at....

Pictures of me...

Really... X rated pictures of me....

I had no idea how he'd gotten them. Or when they'd been taken.

I thought that was all. But I was wrong.

He had video tapes of me.

Of me and Zack having sex.

He threatened to show them to Military Board and have me dishonorably discharged for the rest of my life for fornicating with a fellow soldier. Then he'd have me put in juvenile jail for statuary rape.

Because Zack was only 13.

For the next year I was at his mercy. It got to the point where he wouldn't even let me attempt to take any of the written tests. I was always called to his office to do them 'orally'. Any drill tests or physical fitness exams where done after hours in his apartment.

Needless to say.... I'd become his whore. And he bragged about it. I wasn't allowed to talk to or see Zack at all. I had to ignore him when he managed to track me down.

One very long year.

I'd finally grown up.

I was 6'1 by the time I was about to turn 17. I was so evil towards everyone that all I had to do was look at a person and they'd scramble to get out of my way. I was to the point that I hated everyone and thing around me. I'd grown my hair out again, past my waist, and anyone that touched it ended up with a broken jaw. I'd finally gotten my revenge on the kids that had raped me almost 2 years ago. I actually.. well accidentally killed one of them. He.... hit his head on a rock when he fell. Instant death. I felt no remorse of regrets towards his death either.

It was 6 months before my 18th birthday. I'd been shipped across the ocean to another continent to train. I was a 3rd class SOLDIER at this point. Last I'd heard, Zack was 4th class. I hadn't seen him in almost 2 years now. But I was to far gone to care. I just knew I had to get the hell out of that place. Once I made SOLDIER first class no one could fuck with me. Then, I'd be General.

I ran into some of the troops that used to pick on me when I was a kid. They were guards for the company I worked for. Hmph. That's all they'd managed to achieve? To be low level guard dogs. I didn't say anything to them. I didn't care anymore. But as I passed by them one of them made a comment about the past coming back to haunt me. I didn't understand it at first. Then later that day I was called to my boss's office. I saw for the first time in almost 2 years, the man that had destroyed my child hood.

I was being dishonorably discharged for cheating my way up the ranks. My 24th squad Captain, now a General, was going to loose his job to me. So he claimed that I'd seduced him into helping me gain rank by sleeping with him. What was worse was that there was no record of me taking the real entrance exams to denounce his claim.

I was fucked to say the least. I was told to get my personal belongings and be gone from the bases premises by 6 pm that night. If I wasn't I'd be thrown in jail for trespassing.

I left without a word and went to gather my things. I saw Zack again for the first time after nearly 2 years.

He was still the same. He'd gotten promoted to SOLDIER 3rd class that very day. I wanted to congratulate him but I was just to upset. He managed to talk me into telling him what was wrong. He kissed me and ran off suddenly. To this day I still can't believe it happened. I just know that very same night I was promoted to Generals Rank.

It was 5:59 pm.

I was the youngest, 17 years old, General in history.

I found out later that Zack and a few other boys had come forward and told what had happened to them during their time in the military. They had proof of the rapes too. All the photos and video tapes. And Zack, he'd found the files containing my exams and entrances tests. The 24th squad Captain was fired, dishonorably discharged, and sent to prison for 25 to life without bail for rape and sexual assault in the first degree.

I wanted to laugh so hard that day. It was all just to viciously ironic. I'd gotten my way in the end. I just remember.... after that.... It took me a long time to just be a nice person again. I was so angry about..., about everything. I hated the world and could never figure out why....

It... was a long hard road...

...It's... been a long time since I thought about all of that....

The memories... still bother me...

I blinked a few times and shook my head to clear my thoughts.

I hadn't noticed Riku was staring wide eyed at me. For how long I'm not sure. I'd been so lost in thought I hadn't noticed he'd stopped sobbing and fighting the sheets. He gave me surprised but extremely accusing look. I snatched my hand away from my abdomen and tried to hide my discomfort. It was on my face though I know.

...God... I'm sweating...

"Are... are you okay..?" I asked. My voice sounded broken and I was slightly out of breath. Oh... this must look so fucked up from Riku's point of view.

"You were watching me?" He squeaked. He was trying to crawl to the other side of the bed away from me. "You..!" He started. I took a shuddery breath and held up my hand. I had to look at the floor though. What ever had just happened to me, having those brief flash backs, was bothering me to no end. I felt scared from the first time since I was a child.

Really scared.

But I had to calm Riku.

"No.. no.. You were having a nightmare. I was trying to wake you up.. but..."

"But you decided to jerk off watching me wither instead!" Riku accused and jumped out of the bed. He backed away from me until his back pressed into the wall.

"I trusted you..." He whispered.

"And you still can." I said and steadied my voice but kept staring at the floor. "Seeing you like that just brought back some bad memories of mine.... that's all..."

Please don't ask what bad memories Riku. Please don't.

"You...? Memories?" Riku started. His expression was curious and surprised. His berating glare now gone. I sighed in frustration and closed my eyes.

"Look... it's nothing." I had to put extreme emphasis on that. I didn't feel like divulging any details about my past right now. I had a hard time thinking about them as it was... Saying them out loud was another feat altogether.

"Are you alright?" I asked again. Riku just started at me without blinking for a long time before he nodded a stiff yes.

"You're wrist is bleeding." I said absently, finally looking up, but not into Riku's eyes. I started to remove the soiled sheets from my bed. "Go clean up." ....Nng.... my voice just cracked....

I guess I should have been a little more caring about Riku's current state. He'd just woken up from a bitter nightmare to find me short of breath and nearly bent over him. It must have been horrifying for him to see me like that. I hadn't been doing anything wrong. But Riku didn't know that. And he accused me of doing sinister things while I watched him. Somehow.. I'd known he would think those things too. Riku didn't seem too convinced about what I'd said either. But... I was feeling weak and tired so I didn't really care what he thought at the moment. I knew I was innocent of any crimes.

"Go clean up and put on some fresh bandages before you bleed to death." I half hissed half whispered. Riku walked past me slowly, his pale teal eyes watching me so hard I could almost feel them boring into my back. When his shadow receded out of the door way I went back to the task at hand. I sighed and tossed the last of the bloodied sheets to the floor. I stared absently at the mattress's surface. No blood had soaked through to it.

I ran a shaky hand through my hair and yawned beside myself. It was light out now and I squinted at the pale, but for some reason, really bright light of daybreak. I could hear water running in the bathroom and picked up the soiled sheets to toss them into the laundry room. I'd wash them later. I had to check on Riku first.

"Did the bleeding stop?" I asked softly from outside the bathroom door way. I didn't peek in to see what Riku was doing though. The water from the faucet just kept running for a moment.

"I'm...." Riku started and shut of the sinks spray. I was leaning heavily against the wall, dozing. I shook my head and forced myself to listen to Riku's soft voice. He had a very lulling voice.

"I'm sorry. For accusing you of that back there." There was another moment of silence and I heard the soft brush of fabric against skin. Riku was reapplying a fresh bandage.

"I... was just so freaked out to see you standing there.... I swear... I thought you were Le.." Riku sniffed and gave a bitter laugh. "I mean... I just thought it was him .... I thought...."

"Don't worry about it." I said cutting him off. I didn't feel like hearing him apologize again. He didn't have to. I should have woken him up sooner. I was the one in the wrong.

Riku went silent again and I finally looked into the bathroom. He met my eyes in the mirror over the sink and just watched me. I yawned again and noticed it was getting harder and harder for me to stop doing it. I rubbed the water from my eyes.

"The bleeding stopped." Riku whispered and turned around to look at me.

"Sorry about your sheets. I'll replace them."

I wobbled and leaned against the door frame. I was... really tired. Riku didn't seem to be though. It's kind of strange. Everything that just happened. Riku's nightmare, my bad memories. They all only happened moments ago.... yet.... they feel like they happened last month or last year.... Funny how quickly things can just pass isn't it....?

"What..." I frowned. "Replace them..?" I started and shook my head again to clear the blurry forms passing in my vision. "Oh... no it's alright.... it's not your fault." I said after a second or two. Riku wanted to replace the sheets because the blood wouldn't come out. It never came out of anything.

Ever...

"I'll just toss them. It's no big...*yawn*...deal really." I said and turned to leave the bathroom. I forced myself to get new sheets from the linen closet and reassemble my bed for Riku. He helped as best he could in the task. He almost seemed to be enjoying helping me make my bed. I was almost falling over I was so exhausted.

"Sephiroth..." Riku breathed. I'd sat down on the edge of the bed without really realizing it. Before I knew it I was curled up on my side dead asleep. I do remember feeling Riku melt into my back before everything went blank.

------

Cloud

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Have you ever slept really deeply and for many hours but wake up and still feel really tired?

Yeah?

That's how I feel right now. I'm cold too.

I shiver as a chill ran down my back and pulled my blankets tighter around me. I was already wrapped in them like a caterpillar in a cocoon. The sky was that pale dawn blue-ish color you hate waking up to when you have to get ready for school. Yeah, it was that early in the morning. Sora groaned and balled up tighter under me and tried to press closer into my stomach. He was sleeping really deeply. I had a feeling he'd be really groggy when he woke up too...

What time is it anyway...

6:45a.m...

Why the hell am I up this early?

With that thought I huffed and flopped back down into my pillows and put my arms around Sora to leech more heat off of him. He didn't even flinch. I have to say. It was kind of nice resting with someone so petite, soft, and warm. It was different from being with Seph too. Where as, I felt all safe and cozy with him snuggled up behind me, with Sora I felt all protective and rather motherly. I wonder if this is how Seph felt about me when we slept together. I was smaller then him after all.

I bet Riku feels like this too. Like he can never really rest easy. That he always has to be on edge to keep Sora safe.

But I'm not so much as on edge... just alert. I feel like I'm protecting my son, or little brother. This paternity urge had kicked into high gear ever since I'd taken Riku and Sora in. I was always worried about them. But I'd just never taken the time to really ask them what was going on in their lives. The last thing I wanted to do was smother them. They were old enough to be independent.

But maybe I should have done something much earlier...

Hmm...

Maybe all of this could have been avoided if I had...

I wonder...

....To tired to really dwell on that right now...

Maybe I should get up...

But I'm so comfortable.

Mmmm, this would be way cooler if Seph were here and I could just turn around and... Mmmm.... *hint, hint*

Oh my god!! Seph!

I sprang up suddenly and reached across Sora to get the phone. I shoved him rather roughly when I did it too. I hadn't meant to... Amazingly he didn't even twitch from his restful sleep.

I huffed an aggravated sigh and swept my hair out my face. Fucking hell... I'd totally forgotten. Shit! How could I be so careless. Seph went out to look for Riku and I had almost forgotten about it. Stupid, stupid, stupid..

Ah heh... please don't think poorly of me. I love Seph, I really do... I just get... distracted and loose all sense of reality, space, and time sometimes. That's all....

*dies* I'm... a terrible boyfriend.... *wines*

*bring, bring, bring*

Why isn't he answering his cell phone...?

I pulled the phone away and stared at it for a moment. I could still hear the soft ring from the receiver. Sometimes I imagine the phone being a little itty bitty person that's purposely keeping my calls from getting through. And that annoying as all hell little ring from the receiver is them laughing at me. That's when I get the urge to strangle the living shit out of that little person with numbered buttons on it. Arg!

Damn... it's too early in the morning....

*click*

I hung up and dialed Seph's house. I should have done that in the first place I guess. I mean... he couldn't really still be out looking for Riku could he? He said he'd call if he found Riku. I know I'd told him not to bring Riku back to my place though. So..., what the hell then?

My eye's widened when I heard the phone get picked up on the other end. For a moment it was silent then I heard Seph's voice in the background.

"Ask who it is..."

????

".... Are you sure?...." Came a muffled but very soft voice. My heart beat picked up for some reason.

"...*yawn* Y..yeah..." *rustle, rustle* *grunt*. "Mmm... just say 'hello'..." It was Seph again.

"What should I say if they ask for you?"

"...That I'm asleep..." *yawn* "It's only Cloud anyway..."

I perked up in delight. My hopes suddenly lifted. So Seph had found Riku then...? At least... I think that's Riku's voice. IT had BETTER be Riku's voice. Then a thought hit me. Wait a minute. What the fuck...? Seph only had one phone... the one in his room. On the nightstand by his bed.

His bed!

"Hey!" I hissed into the phone. I was very awake now.

"He...hello?" Came Riku's meek voice. He still sounded half asleep.

"It's Cloud." I said a little less forcefully. The hiss was still in my tone though.

"...uh... Hi... You wanna talk to Seph...iroth.."

I glared across the room and gripped the phone. The little piece of plastic creaked under in my fist. I don't know why, but hearing Riku almost utter Seph's nick name, the nick name I'd given him, made my blood boil.

"Yes I'd like to speak to him." I said slowly. My teeth scraped each other rather painfully when I spoke.

"Cloud wants to talk to you." Riku said. His voice sounded far away so I assumed he'd lowered the phone from his mouth.

"What does he want?" Seph mumbled.

I bristled. WHAT! The fuck!

"He says what do you want" Riku repeated lazily back to me.

I bit my tongue to keep a stream of curses I had ready from escaping my mouth. This.... whole scenario may have been funny any other time but it for damn sure wasn't now. I was pissed beyond reasoning. At myself for giving Seph that crappy idea for helping Riku. It was back firing in my face already. And for Riku running off in the first place. If he had just kept his ass here I would have never had to suggest such a utterly wicked idea to my boyfriend in the first place.

"Riku! Why the fuck did you run off!"

You know what. I was tired of being nice and keeping my thoughts in check. It was payback time. Riku was either shocked or scared because he didn't say anything back for a moment.

"Riku, Cloud says why the fuck did you fun off?"

It was Seph on the phone now. My anger just... seeped away like water down the drain. I heard Riku stuttering in the background.

"He says he's sorry. Now what do you want? I was sleeping." Sephiroth said drowsily. He did sound really tired. And for a moment I felt bad for waking him. For a very, barely a minute, moment.

"Why didn't you call me last night and tell me you'd found Riku." I asked in a reprimanding tone. Seph knew better. He could have left a message or something. I'd been worried out of my mind for nothing.

"Because I told you I'd call only if I hadn't found him. No call means he's safe and sound. Right?"

I simmered and forced myself to lye back down. Sora yawned once but didn't wake up. I glanced at him briefly as I spoke.

"Your logic is fucked you know that. I was worried okay."

"I know. But now you can stop worrying. Riku's fine. He's clean, he's eaten and slept. All is well in his little world. Now if you'd be so kind as to let me go back to sleep now I'd be more then happy to continue this joyous conversation later."

Man, if looks could kill Seph would have died 6 times by now from the way I was glaring at the ceiling. He could really push my buttons sometimes.

"That's not funny. Stop kidding around." I scowled.

"I'm not." Seph sighed. He sounded like he was getting tired of me. Oh no!

"Seph... look.. I'm sorry. I just..." I scratched my head and rolled onto my side and closed my eyes. "Thanks for finding Riku and taking care of him."

That should bring this conversation to a decent end.

"Anything for you love. Now go back to sleep. It's to damn early for us to be bickering."

I agreed.

"I love you." I whispered and opened my eyes. I jumped just slightly when I saw Sora staring at me through very awake and aware eyes. I had to sit up for a moment.

"Love you too." Seph said back. I could hear him shifting around.

"I'll call back later okay." I said and kept watching Sora. He was just giving me this haunted expression that told me he'd over heard the whole phone conversation.

Oh.. shit..

"Yeah.. sounds good.... Night." Seph said and he hung up. I turned off the phone and sat it down in my lap. I felt odd and really hollow for some reason.

"Riku's alright?" Sora asked softly and pulled the comforter up to his chin. His eyes drooped again which told me he really hadn't been as awake as I'd thought. I smiled.

"Yeah. Seph found him. Just like he said he would." I Leaned down and kissed Sora's forehead. I don't know why I did it..., it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Sora's eyes went really wide from the kiss too.

"Is he coming home today?" He asked in a child like voice. I pursed my lips and looked away from Sora's piercing gaze. I couldn't lie to him. I'd told Seph not to, no matter what, to bring Riku home just yet. It was far to soon for him to be seeing Sora anyway. Even though he'd been gone barely a day.... I bet to Sora it felt like forever.... I hate that feeling.

"Not today." I finally said and rubbed the back of my neck. Sora didn't say anything after that and he just rolled over. After a minute or so I heard him breathing deeply again. He'd fallen back into a deep sleep. I had a feeling this was going to be a day spent in bed doing nothing but resting. I was tired, Sora was exhausted. And so were Seph and Riku. I didn't know what was going to happen next. And for a while. Nothing really did.

-------

Riku

-------

I'd been staying with Sephiroth for about 6 days now. I can't say things had changed much in this time. I just lounged around most of the day. I wasn't allowed to touch the phone to call Cloud's house and talk to Sora. I wasn't allowed to leave the apartment. Sephiroth had given in and bought a futon for me to sleep on in the guest room since he didn't have an extra bed. I guess he wanted his bed back. He didn't talk much to me either unless I spoke to him first. I wonder if he's like this with Cloud. There were a lot of things I wanted to ask him... some of them so I could just see what he'd say. But he only had short yes of no answers for me most of the time. I don't know why but all of a sudden he was being really cold to me.

We were in the living room, me sprawled across the couch. Sephiroth was sitting at his labtop clicking away at the keyboard doing some odd thing or other. I gave him a side long glance from my comfortable position and found myself sighing. I was so bored. I got up and found some paper and a pen and started doodling and sketching random things over it. I noticed quite irritably that my scribbles looked like stick figure Sora's and paopu fruits. I had Sora on the brain. This went on for minutes, then hours. With an irritated sight I finally got up to watch TV and amazingly there was nothing on even worth my time. So much for trying to force myself not to think about depressing stuff. I'd promised myself to just and forget about all of the terrible things that had happened recently. I wasn't doing so well either.

"You know." Sephiroth started without turning to look at me. He had my full attention. I didn't care what he was about to say. Just hearing him talk was great.

"One of those video game system things is under the entertainment center."

I frowned and eyed the black pull out wall across the room. You should see it. Seph has this huge flat screen big screen TV with a VCR/DVD/CD player and a dobly digital surround sound set up. The speakers are built into the wall they are so big. When the entertainment center is closed it just looks like a flat wall. You press this blue button nearby it and it slides slowly and silently out. It's fucking crucial. Seph has so many CD's and movies it was like being in a video store. But.. even that lost it luster after a while. I'd spent the last few days watching movies.

"A what?" I said slowly. I really... hadn't understood what Seph was trying to say. He kept typing and turned to look at me. I felt my eyes grow large as I watched his hands moving without him even looking at the keyboard to see what he was typing. That... was so amazing to me. I can't do it... not that fast anyway...

"You don't play video games?" He asked absently. I understood now. Wait.

"You play video games?" I asked and crawled over to him. He watched me silently and shook his head slightly.

"No." He sighed. "It's Cloud's." Seph turned back to the computer. He glanced across the screen for a moment then scowled and started hitting the delete button over and over again. I stood up on my knees so I could see what was on his computer screen. Whatever he was doing was far more interesting then some video game right now.

"What're you typing?" I asked softly and tried to read the screen. For some reason I couldn't see what was on it. It looked black from where I was. I squinted and tried to adjust my view.

"None of your business." Seph scolded and gave me a smirk. I smiled slightly.

"Writing a love note to Cloud?" I insisted. Sephiroth chuckled and hit a button on the keyboard. The little machine went silent. I blinked.

"Maybe." He said and pushed out his chair to stand. I watched him stretch then ruffle his hair. He was wearing ash colored jogging pants and a cotton white t-shirt that looked really soft and comfy. The pants hung loosely at his hips. I caught myself staring at his exposed abdomen when he stretched. The soft curve of pale skin down to his pelvis was really nice. I kind wanted to run my fingers across it to see if he was ticklish.

"No it's not a love note. I was talking about you actually."

I frowned instantly and stood up. Seph smirked again and raised an eyebrow. "I was telling Cloud that you're doing fine. He says Sora says 'hello'.

That was it? A fucking Hello?

"..er.. yeah..." Was all I could manage. I was a little upset about that. "Hey.. when can I see Sora anyway?:" I started and followed Seph into the kitchen. He was pulling his hair free of it's restraint and shook his head to let the slivery strands fly free over his shoulders.

"I don't know. When you feel up to it I guess. Are you really ready to see him?"

No.

"Not really." I said softly, rubbing the back of my head. I let my hand trail down to the back of my neck and gave Sephiroth a pout. "I miss him though."

Seph made a face and turned from me to the stove. "I know." He said and left it at that. I didn't say anything more for a few moments either. I just watched Seph move around the kitchen as he went about making our lunch. Again I caught myself staring at his body and noticing just how nice it really was. I mean... I've seen him damn near naked already when I first got here. For some reason, seeing him in clothes was much more alluring. His clothes complemented his body and his personality. I noticed he didn't have to many colored garments. Maybe a deep wine burgundy sweater, or a cream colored jacket. But not to many bright things. His whole apartment consisted of black, white, gray, and some auburn in the living room. He lived a very.. um... professional life it seemed.

His whole apartment was neat and sparkly clean. I mean.. you could probably eat off of his floors. He didn't have any pets. Well he had some fish. But I don't consider those pets. Fish are for eating... I'm sorry. His video collection was in alphabetical order. His towels were folding and stacked by size and color. His kitchen, I'm surprised wasn't labeled, was so in order I knew exactly where to go to get everything without even having to search first.

Yeah... he had a pretty orderly life style.

Did I mention he was unnaturally rich too....

One of his watches cost more then Cloud's rent for his apartment for 3 months. Cloud's rent is 1,200 a month. You do the math. Yeah.

Seph had lots of expensive things in his house. His couches were leather, his desk's and tables were all imported from other regions of the world, his clothes cost enough to pay 6 college tuitions.... He... just had everything. But.. he didn't brag about his wealth. He.. kind of didn't seem to happy about it either.

He told me he got a check every summer since he was 17 for over 60 grand for being in the military. He invested his money and now he has well over 500 thousand dollars saved up. I guess he thought the money would be for his kids or something. Maybe he and Cloud are planning to adopt someday. That's a lot of fucking money isn't it? The other night, we had lobster and crab for dinner. Now, back on Destiny Island that wouldn't be a big surprise. I could eat that stuff all of the time for free whenever I wanted. But here, In Traverse Town, where fresh sea food was rare, that was some expensive dinner. Seph also had this mashed pink stuff that reminded me of smashed fish eggs. ... I think that's what is was too. He'd cooked it all himself. I looked at the receipt from the grocery store. He'd sent over 450 dollars on like... 6 things.

He even bought me new clothes cause I didn't have any here. Some of the stuff he brought back for me was so expensive I didn't even take it out of the plastic. I couldn't possibly wear something like that. I was being spoiled to death and I had no idea why. Seph said he'd done the same thing for Sora. I can kind of figure out why Cloud is with him now. Well... this is just one of the reasons I'm assuming. Money, good looking, great personality.

Oh yeah...

I bet he's a good fuck too.

Seph gave me an odd look for some reason and stopped what he was doing. I felt my mouth hanging open.

Oh my god.... had I just said that out loud?

"What did you say?" He asked me. I couldn't tell if he was mad or confused. His face was expressionless.

I shook my head several times and waved my hands. "Er.. nothing, nothing. I was just thinking out loud that's all." I made an innocent face. Seph gave me one last calculating glance before he went back to cooking again. I sighed and left the kitchen.

I... almost got myself in trouble there. I can't believe I'd said that out loud. I know he heard me clearly. He just wanted to hear me say it again. Why I wonder?

I flopped down on the couch again and closed my eyes. I started dozing off in just that instant. I was so bored I was tired. I need to find something to do. I looked back into the kitchen I could see Seph leaning against the counter staring aimlessly down at the pot he was stirring a spoon in. His shiny silver hair was falling over his shoulders and partially hiding his face. He swept the loose strands absently behind his ear. Every movement or gesture he made was extremely elegant. No matter how simple. He had this casual elegance someone like me could only dream of having. He was nice to watch. He made everything some how beautiful.

Oh... to just imagine what he'd be like in bed.

Cloud's a very lucky guy.

I still find it hard to believe Seph is even with someone as down to earth as Cloud is. He's like me in a way. All of this glamour is just too over whelming. How do you say thank for a thousand dollar gift?

By giving some up that night that's how.

Okay.. I shouldn't be thinking so poorly of Cloud like that. But still. I can only wonder what Sephiroth sees in him. He is handsome and really sweet. But.... there's nothing all that special about him. Unless Seph really is in love with him.

Hmm...?

I wonder...?

I was suddenly full of rather interesting personal questions to ask Seph when he came to sit down and eat. He told me I could ask him anything anyway. So I wouldn't hold back on him. I wonder how much he'll tell me.

A moment later Seph was sitting my lunch down in front of me. I thanked him and started to eat. He turned on the TV and put it on some random channel just to have something on, but he didn't pay attention to it.

"Thanks for lunch... again." I said softly and took a bite of my turkey sandwich. It was really good. I swallowed and sipped a spoon full of my rice and chicken soup. Seph was always making me soup. He said it would coat my stomach and keep me from starving. That and all the salt he put in it. It wasn't bad....but I could taste it. You know, Sephiroth is a really good cook. I'm sure that's another reason why Cloud is with him.

Sephiroth nodded at my thanks and sipped his tea. It smelled really sweet. I kind of wanted some. He was eating a plane salad with some vinegar dressing on it. You know, I think he's on a diet or something. Or just very selective about what he eats. He leaned back into the couch after sitting his tea down and stared blankly at the TV screen I couldn't really tell if he was watching it or not. I was almost done eating now and decided, since he wasn't busy, that now would be a good time to ask some of my questions.

"Uh.. Sephiroth. If I can.. would you mind if I asked you something?" I asked politely. He looked at me without turning his head and clenched his jaw. I didn't know if he was upset about it or not but I didn't really care. He said I could ask him anything I wanted. So I was.

"What is it?" Sephiroth said softly. He didn't sound annoyed at the prospect of me interrogating him. I scooted forward a bit in my seat and bit my lower lip. Hmm... where to start? And how to ask this particular question?

"It's... kind or personal." I added and lowered my eyes to the floor. Well.. this question was way more then just kind of personal. It was really personal. Seph shifted, crossed his legs and folded his arms. He made a soft sigh before saying.

"I have to say I'm intrigued to hear just what kind of personal question you have to ask me. So go on please."

I swallowed hard. You know... I wasn't really ready for him to say yes so willingly. He didn't even take the time to think about it.

"Uh.... Well.. It's about you and Cloud."

He turned his head to look at me. I swear I saw his eyes light up. My face felt really hot all of a sudden and I had to avert my gaze once again to keep my cool. His eyes were so intense. Man... how am I going to ask this question with him looking at me like that?

"What about us?" Sephiroth asked. He still didn't sound upset after finding out the subject matter of my inquiry. I took a deep breath and stilled my shaking hands. My lips felt really dry and my stomach was fluttering. This... really shouldn't be this hard to talk about. We were both guys and comfortable with our sexuality. I mean... he'd shared his bed with me for 2 nights without a problem. I raised my eyes and peeked at Seph through my bangs.

"Have... have you and Cloud had sex?"

There I said it!

*dies*

Sephiroth's eyes widened just slightly. I guess the question had surprised him. It was silent for a moment and then he started to laugh softly. I looked at him fully with a shocked expression. Why was he laughing?

"Is that all?" He asked covering his face for a moment and sniggering. I couldn't help but smile. I felt a little embarrassed now. Mostly because I made such a big deal over such a little thing.

"Uh.. well no that's not all I wanted to ask but... You don't have answer if you don't want to...?"

"Riku, it's fine really." Sephiroth said and rolled his shoulders. He had this expression on his face that made him look pleased about something. He raised his eyebrows and made a soft swooning sound in his throat.

"Have we had sex? How to answer that?" He caught my eye and smiled slowly.

"Yes we have."

There, question answered.

But he wasn't done.

"Quite a few times actually. Well, not recently because I've been here with you. But we make love roughly... 6 or 7 times a day."

I blinked and I swear my jaw hit the floor.

Holy shit.... 6 or 7 times a day?!

Sephiroth raised his eyebrow and smirked. "Did that answer your question?" I nodded stiffly. He'd answered maybe a little too much I think.

"Uh... so... wow..." I stuttered. Sephiroth laughed again and shook his head.

"Does that surprise you?" He started and picked up his tea again. He started to take a sip but paused. "That we do it so often?" He lowered his lashes and whispered. "Or that we do it at all?"

I shook my head several times and grinned sheepishly.

"Er... no... I'm not surprised. I suspected.... I guess.. I mean.. look at you... Uh I mean..."

I shut my mouth.

"Cloud's... got a lot of energy." Seph said absently.

I gaped again. Sephiroth grinned and sipped his tea. For a moment we didn't say anything more to each other.

".... He... Cloud I mean.... Doesn't mind... You staying alone with me here?" I asked. After that immensely awkward moment the rest of my question would be a cinch to ask.

"Why would he?"

...Seph was so direct.

"It's not like I'm cheating on him with you. Yes you are very attractive I will admit that. But my attraction to you is purely physical, Riku. I love Cloud. He knows this. So he has no reason to worry."

I frowned at that comment.

"Purely physical? What.. what are you talking about?"

I felt suddenly uncomfortable.

Sephiroth put a finger to his lips and look contemplative for a moment.

"How can I word this? If I were a wicked person, I would have tried to take advantage of you a long time ago. Probably the first night you got here. But I'm not a wicked person. I don't find any pleasure or joy in taking advantage of anyone. Especially a child. Regardless of how attractive he is. And regardless of how much I know he likes me."

My heart skipped two beats.

"How he... likes... You're talking about me?" I squeaked and mindlessly pointed at myself with both hands. My face had to be about 20 different shades of red by now. What the hell? How did he know?

"It's alright, Riku. You don't have to feel so embarrassed. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. I'm... kind of used to it. Cloud used to be the same way. But I liked him back in equal passion . I don't like you back that way."

Talk about being blunt.

"And that doesn't bother you?!" I asked. I couldn't believe it. What was he a machine? I mean.... sure I'm not the most attractive person in the world but damn... he didn't feel anything for me?! Not even a little?! Not that.... I wanted him to hold me down and ravage me or anything.... Still, he didn't have to say it like that.

"You look upset." Sephiroth said and sat down his now empty tea cup. I huffed and leaned back into the couch. I had no idea why I was getting so mad. Maybe it was because I kind of did like Sephiroth. To hear him so easily deny any feelings for me made me kind of sad. Again...

"No I just... No one's ever just came out and said something like that to me."

"You're direct with me." Sephiroth pointed out. "I figured you wouldn't want me to sugar coat my feelings... So.. here they are. I'm sorry if I upset you."

I waved a dismissive hand of forgiveness. It was alright. I was glad he'd been honest with me. Albeit to damn honest. But... I guess he was right.

"Besides. Would you really feel comfortable staying alone here with me knowing I had some cruel intentions about you?"

Okay he had a really good point there. I shook my head to answer him. He smiled.

"But you are a very sweet boy. I'm glad to have met you and learned more about you."

Hah... my cheeks burned again. Why did he have to do that? He had a way with words... Simple words at that! He made them sound so nice.

There was a moment of awkward silence and I decided to change the subject. No more questions about sex for a little while.

"Oh yeah. I've been meaning to ask you about this." I perked up and turned to look down the hall to the bedroom.

"Er.. why did you go out of your way to buy a new bed for me?"

Sephiroth was playing with some strands of his hair and I noticed, quite amusedly, that he was braiding the silky silver strands.

"Would you have rather slept on the floor?" He said back with a smile.

I laughed nervously. Sephiroth always had to ask the most obvious but indirect questions. Of course I hadn't wanted to sleep on the floor. But that wasn't the point I was trying to make.

"Uh... no. What I'm asking is... Well you have that other room down the hall. I just figured that was an extra bed room. So.... why didn't you just put me in there?"

I felt a little noisy for asking that. But I was curious. He probably had a good reason for not letting me sleep in that room anyway.

"Oh, well. That would be rude of me." Seph said slowly his eyes flicked around the room, and past me, very quickly. He seemed kind of nervous about this new subject. I gave him a strange look because I didn't understand what he meant.

"That's my roommates room."

Heh... okay. He had a REALLY good reason for not letting me go in the room. I felt my eyebrows rise up in shock. This was new. Wow... I never would have guessed Sephiroth would be the roommate having type. I knew my face was asking him, "So where is this roommate?"

"He's out of town on business. Actually, if Cloud had introduced you and Sora to me earlier you would have gotten the chance to meet him sooner. He wants to meet the two of you very much."

My face flushed. Oh my. I could only imagine what kind of guy this 'roommate' is if he lives with Sephiroth. Is he elegant and handsome like Seph? Maybe he's even more mysterious... If that's possible? I wonder what kind of intellectual conversations Seph and his roommate have. They probably talk about stuff that would go right over my head.....

"What's he like?" I blurted out before I could stop myself. Sephiroth laughed, his eyes twinkling slightly.

"I can't describe just exactly what he's like. It'll just confuse you. You'll like him though."

This picked my interest.

"Well... how old is he then?" I wanted to know as much about this guy as I could before I got to meet him.

"25." Seph said with a soft breath. He almost sounded wistful. I blinked.

"Uh.... hair and eye color?"

"Black and hazel. Want to know his name?" Seph said with another soft breath. I couldn't tell if he was getting annoyed by my questions of by my interest in his roommate.

"Uh..... sure... I guess." I said nervously. I guess I kind of did. Maybe his name would help me place some kind of face.

"Hmmm... His name is.... Why are you so interested in my roommate?" Seph gave me a pointed gentle glare. I lowered my eyes from his gaze again and my face flushed. I bet I looked like a really ripe cherry by now. I just wanted to know more about this guy. That was all. Seph didn't seem like the type to have many friends, let alone have one live with him. I was just curious.... really that was all.

"I know I don't seem like the type to have friends. I really don't have very many to be honest. He was... well we were lovers at one time. That's probably why I'm comfortable living with him."

My head snapped up. I forced myself not to gape this time by biting my bottom lip. Holy fuck!! Seph lived with his EX!! That was the last thing I'd expected to hear. Seph was laughing openly at my startled expression.

"Don't worry. Our relationship is purely platonic. We haven't been together for a long time. About 7 or 8 years now I think. I was really young when we were together. Oh, and Cloud knows by the way. He's fine with it. They actually get along a little better then I'd like."

Sephiroth raised one of his eyebrows and smiled as he thought silently about something. He shook his head and focused back on me.

"He should be back in a month or so."

I leaned back into the couch and rubbed my face. I had so many more questions to ask Seph but couldn't grasp a single one. I think I'd learned enough for today anyway. Seph was still really young, but he sounded like he had a lot happen in his life. I'm just assuming this. He let it slip a few nights ago about something happening to him when he was in the military but I was way to scared to ask him about that. Whatever it was... it wasn't happy or as light hearted as the other things he told me about today.

"Can I call Sora?" I asked after a moment. I put on my best begging face and clasped my hands in front of my heart. I really wanted to talk to him. I didn't care what it was about. I just wanted to hear his voice. I missed him so much. Seph gave me sad expression and shook his head.

"No." He said. His tone left no room for pleading or questions. I slumped in defeat and laid down on the couch. I covered my face with my forearm and went silent. I could hear Seph taking our plates and cups into the kitchen so he could wash them. Normally I would have helped but I was kind of angry with him now. Why couldn't I call Sora? I glared with my eyes closed. Hmph... Seph and Cloud had thought it be better if Sora and I didn't commute for a while. They said Sora's presence agitated my bad memories. And until I came to gripes with my rape that he'd only make my condition worse. Personally I thought it was a bunch a bullshit. True I had wanted to get away from Sora for a bit to sort out my thoughts... and maybe my feelings. But I didn't want to forget he existed all together.

But I guess it was no use whining about it now. Seph's answer was final. If I asked again the might just ignore me altogether. So I whined to myself. This really sucks.... I miss... Sora... so... mu...

I opened my mouth a bit and took a shuddery breath. It was a sob really. I tried to hide it by controlling my breathing. I couldn't let Seph see me crying. I wasn't crying just yet. But my throat was hurting.. so I was close to it. I hated being away from Sora. It was like when I moved away from DI all those years ago. It was torture. And this was too. What was worse was that I was actually thinking about Sephiroth is sexual ways. I was mentally cheating on Sora. I felt awful. There were things about Sora that Seph could never have, and vice versa. When I woke up in the morning I missed Sora being sprawled halfway over me sleeping like he's fighting the sheets. I missed his breath in my ear as he kind of snored. I missed his baby soft cinnamon hair tickling my cheeks and neck. I oh so missed his silky smooth skin pressed so close to mine that I could feel his veins pulsing under his skin.

I just missed Sora.

I had to hide another sob. This one hurt and made my eyes burn. I massaged my temples and tried to force away the tension headache that was working it's way through my face. I opened my eyes and say big blurs of color for a moment.

"I'm sorry." I heard Seph voice very close by.

I jumped up and scrubbed at my eyes. Oh no.. he'd seen me...

"You don't have to hide it, Riku."

I turned sharply and looked up. Seph was standing behind me looking down. His expression was so sincere that I almost started crying again. It wasn't fair... I was here with Cloud's guy and Cloud was with mine. I wanted Sora. I wanted him NOW!

"....leave me alone..." I hissed slightly. This was partly Seph's fault. He should have just taken me back to Cloud's place that night. BUT NO! I had to be a drama queen and beg him to bring me to his house.

"You'll get to see him soon." Seph said. He was sitting a little bit behind me. I looked at his reflection on the glass table in the middle of the living room. He was looking at my back. He seemed like he wanted to comfort me but didn't know how to.

"It's not fair... Why did this have to happen? I just don't understand why anymore. I have this strange feeling that Sora loved Leon. And that he still does.... He never told me. Then Leon hurt me... and Sora acts like he doesn't.... like doesn't even care.... and...." I covered my face and coughed. I couldn't contain my tears anymore. They leaked free without reserve. ACK!! This is so lame. I was making myself sad thinking about all this stuff. Control, Riku. Control.

Yeah right...

I was shaking now I was crying so hard.

"Riku..." Sephiroth started. He seemed at a lose for words. He didn't know how to comfort me I guess. I wasn't really asking him too. I was just tired of hiding my sadness. It's what got me in this situation in the first place. And I attacked Sora so ruthlessly because of it.

"There's... something you should know Riku... It's about Leon and Sora..."

For the first time since I'd known Sephiroth I'd never heard him sound so nervous. I stopped sobbing almost instantly out of shock from his voice. About Leon and Sora.... what the Hell? This sounded like bad news. I turned to Seph, not caring anymore if he say my tear stained face and looked wide eyed up at him. He swallowed hard.

".... Sora...."

My heart beat was racing and I felt suddenly terrified to hear this breaking news. I didn't want to hear it. It would crush me I knew. So I did the only rational thing I could think of.

I kissed Seph.

-------

Sephiroth

-------

I faltered when Riku turned to look at me. I couldn't have picked the worse time to mention this now. But Riku had to know. He still had this weird belief that Sora didn't care about Leon raping him. I had to just completely erase that crazy thought from him mind. But Riku didn't know why Sora was acting the way he was in the first place. Cloud didn't want Riku to know yet. But I feared if Riku learned this later he'd do something drastic to vent his anger. He could try to hurt Sora, or himself. There's no way of telling how he'll act about this.... but I have to chance it.

"...Sora..." I started. Riku's eyes went wide and before I could stop him he was pressing his lips against mine. I was so shocked I didn't push him away for a moment. I could feel his tears against my face and the heat of his skin. His eyelashes brushed mine and my eyes closed. Riku's lips were very soft. He put his hands on my shoulders and tried to make the kiss more passionate. I put up my hands out of habit from being with Cloud to hold his waist. I was being pressed back onto the couch on my back. My mind kept telling me to push Riku away, to make him stop. But then.... if he acted this way when I tried to tell him about Sora's secret... this must be what he wanted. His way of dealing with his pain. There's no telling how mind scarring me making him stop will be.

Blast you Cloud!

I kissed Riku back.

He was laying over me now kissing me with more passion then I knew a 17 year old could have. He was... quite good at it too. I forced myself to just try to enjoy this so I wouldn't hurt Riku's feelings. It wasn't so bad honestly. But I felt terrible for letting it happen. Riku pulled back and looked me in the eyes. I took this moment to catch my breath. I hoped my facial expression was convincing enough. It must have been because Riku leaned back in and kissed me again. With lots of tongue this time.

His mouth was so warm and soft.

I mean... damn... I'm starting to enjoy this....

FUCK!

This was wrong. But somehow right....

If Riku was acting this way he must have felt safe and comfortable enough to do so. Then again... he could have just done it as a way to keep me from saying what I was about to say. He must have figured it was bad news. His small hands were roaming over my chest and he was almost moaning into my mouth. I groaned... which probably sounded more like a moan in Riku's ears and ran my fingers through his hair. We weren't doing anything particularly more erotic then what I've done with Cloud. But there were several differences about Riku that Cloud most certainly didn't have and that made this whole situation much more different.

For starters, Riku wasn't my boyfriend and he was just a kid. He was very soft and curvy compared to Cloud. Cloud was more broad and tight around his shoulders, back, thighs, and face. Whereas Riku was round and supple. He had lots of baby fat. He was almost femininely built. He had baby's breath. I could taste the milk and turkey from his lunch in his kisses. Little things like that made me even more aware of just how young and innocent Riku really was. And the references to babies was making me feel like a child molester with each passing second....

I was feeling more and more terrible about this. Riku moaned into my mouth suddenly started to grind his pelvis into mine. I gasped when he hit a very sensitive spot, you know what I'm talking about, and I tried to pull a little more forcefully away from him. This was starting to get a little out of hand now. He had me pinned. Well, he was certainly strong for a 17 year old.

"Riku... no." I gasped and turned away from his persistent kisses. He was panting, his breath warm and quick against my cheek.

"I'm sorry..." He breathed, eyes half lidded. He didn't look as upset as he did a moment ago. Being suddenly turned on can change your mood like that. Riku climbed off of me and put some distance on the couch between us. I thought he was going to run away. Instead he curled up at the end of the couch and hid his face. I sat up, panting, and licked my lips. I could still taste Riku on them. I cringed and wiped my mouth. I was shaking my head to dismiss his apology. Uh... why was I doing that? I didn't want to give him the impression that what he had done was okay.... or that he could do it again. But I didn't want him feeling bad about his. He kissed me. So what. It meant nothing to me... but I'm not sure what it meant to him.

"No... I shouldn't have done that... You're with Cloud... I feel awful... I'm so sorry..." Riku whispered over and over again. I fixed up my hair and cleared my throat. Riku jumped.

"Stop it. It's over. It was just a kiss. It happens." I said tersely. Riku gave me a shocked wide eyed expression. I mentally kicked myself. There's got to be a better way to say that. Time to switch to doctor mode. ...I've never had one of my patients kiss me before.

"I mean. It's alright, okay. Don't feel bad. I know you're going through a lot of things right now. You just did it on impulse. But like I said it happens. I know you like me. You just wanted to see what it was like. I don't mind. Just don't get used to that alright." I smiled as best I could. There, that sounded much better. Direct, honest, not too mean, but setting the ground rules.

Riku smiled just slightly but didn't say anything. His cheeks spoke loud and clear though. I'm surprised he hadn't tried to douse his face in water by now as much as he was blushing. Poor kid.

I didn't say anything more to Riku either and walked into the kitchen. My legs felt weak for some reason. I rubbed my face and leaned against the counter. I can't believe that just happened. I had to tell Cloud about this.... He'd get mad. I could already see his face. It was his bright idea though. I hope I didn't make things worse... I hope Riku is getting the impression I was starting to like him like that. It wasn't true. But words can only mean so much. Riku probably was thinking the same thing. No... just when he was starting to open up to me a little and feel comfortable... I just somehow screwed this whole thing up...

I need a glass of water.

I got myself something to drink and absently tugged at the draw string of my pants. My groin felt really tight. I wasn't sure if it was because Riku was rubbing his abdomen against it.... or because the whole time I was thinking about Cloud. It was both. For a moment I saw Cloud kissing me instead of Riku.

6 days without sex.... oh my God I missed Cloud. Not just because of the sex. I just missed him. I hadn't spoken to him on the phone either. We'd just been passing emails and instant messages online.

This... really sucks...

I guess I'd have to deal with it. But it was going to be hard. I had a feeling Riku would try to come onto me again. He probably wouldn't have a reason besides just wanting to next time either. I had to keep control of myself before I actually end of sleeping with that boy....

How would I explain that to Cloud?

Yeah... this sucks....

*sigh*

-------

Riku

-------

I can't believe I did it.... I'd... been wanting to since the first time I met him at 7th Heaven. But... I actually did it. It was nice too. Oh my God! His bodies so hard! I wish I could have touched him more... His skin's so soft and smooth. I did feel kind of dirty for acting that way. At first I'd just kissed him to make him shut up. But... as I got into it I really wanted to go further. I know he was enjoying it too. I felt it. ....He's.. really big....

I had to cover my face to hide my, I'm sure, flustered expression. I shouldn't be feeling like this about Sephiroth. There's nothing wrong with a little crush I guess. But I was close to trying to take his clothes off for minute. I had no idea I was so brave....

But on some level I felt like a whore. I really shouldn't be doing things like that with Seph. I bet he wanted me to stop... he just didn't want to hurt my feelings. What was I saying. So what if he got a boner... If I had something rubbing me I'd get one too... I must be crazy to think he wants me. He said so himself. And he's the one who asked me to stop. Well, he just said 'no', which meant stop. This is so confusing. I love Sora. I love making love to him. I don't love Seph in the slightest. But I want to have sex with him. I really do. I won't deny it. But I'm really fucking scared. Maybe I should just tell him I feel this way.

Seph I wanna fuck you!

How do I say that out loud?

Maybe... if I do this and get it out of my system I'll feel better. I don't know. That night when Sora said I was going to leave him for Seph really made me think.... I don't want to leave Sora for him.... but I did want to see him and be with him...

What the Hell is wrong with me? All of these emotions. I sound like a girl. Random mood swings. This must be PMS! I don't like this at all!

I tangled my fingers in my hair and glared at the carpet. I glanced into the kitchen and say Seph drinking a glass of water. He was tugging at his pants. I raised an eyebrow at that.

Maybe... I should tell him...

Or at least show him...

Maybe if I slept with him... I'd get over my rape. Seph wasn't after me for sexual reasons or anything. He was safe. I didn't have to feel afraid of him. He loved Cloud. Not me.

So.. somehow. It was okay.

Right?

------

Leon

------

(6:45 pm)

"It's the start of week 2 for the manhunt for Squall LeonHeart, the alleged rapist/attempted murderer. Authorities are at a standstill as no new information on the present whereabouts of the man have been discovered. It's almost as if he vanished off of the face of the planet. With no sightings or information regarding where LeonHeart could be there is a possibility he has left town. Every regional police department is on alert. Blockades have been placed at every entrance and exit for each city limit. Cars, trucks, and other transport are being continuously monitored. The authorities would like to impress very strongly that if you have any information concerning LeonHeart, little or otherwise please call the police department. And to anyone who could possibly be hiding LeonHeart, know that you are in grave danger and you could suffer loosing your life, or even time in prison for hiding an armed felon. For anymore updates concerning the hunt for LeonHeart stay tuned to this station. "

I turned down the radio and bit my bottom lip. I'd been in hiding for damn near 2 weeks. I'd managed to slip out once to take care of some business for an hour or so. I'd finally managed to capture that little fuck too. The news wasn't kidding either, there were hundreds of police swarming the streets now. I'm surprised no body saw me at all. If I could just wait this out the search would be called of any day now. Well, it will if no one notices a certain someone missing. I'm surprised there was no news about that yet. Well, it hadn't been 24 hours just yet. I'm sure the kids parents have noticed by now though. Maybe I'd just made things worse for myself.

Ahheheheh!

I turned to a dark corner of my now new home in the old Inn in district 2. I learned no one came near this place in fear of the 'giant rats' that festered around here. I'd only seen one of them the whole time I'd been staying here. I took care of the little fucker easily. To bad for the cops though. They would have found me a long time ago. Oh well. No skin of my back.

I stood and walked to the dark corner slowly. I could sense the presence of the other in the room. I heard him whimper and flatten himself against the wall. He couldn't run away, scream for help, or fight back. He was at my mercy.

"You look scared." I said softly and kneeled down to look in the boys face. He was a pretty good looking kid. Sandy blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, perfect skin. Probably a good quick fuck too. I hadn't had any fun for a while now. He was probably a virgin. I kind of wanted to hear him scream out in pain.

"You should be scared. After what you did to me." I leaned in and whispered into his ear. He was shaking so hard his breathing was quivering.

"I'm going to have so much fun with you." I licked his ear and snatched him up. He was pretty small. Smaller then how he'd looked that night. I can't believe this is the same kid that got away with hurting me. Little shit.

I had his hands and feet tied up so he couldn't try anything. He staggered when I let him try to balance himself. I shoved him and he hopped forward.

"Get on the bed." I hissed. He gave me a wide eyed shocked expression and started shaking his head. I shoved him again and he fell onto the now clean sheets. I'd cleaned up all the filthy shit that had been left behind.

"I don't think you're in any position to say no to me." I forced him face down onto the bed and he whimpered. I wasn't even being rough with him. All he had on was a t-shirt, jeans, socks and shoes. He was probably cold from the lack of heat in this place. I'd gotten one of those portable heater things, but it only did so much you know.

"I'll warm you up." I breathed into his hair. He smelled so nice. Like a boy, but nice. It was pretty obvious he wasn't gay. He was looking at me like I was the most vile creature in the world. I wasn't sure if it was because he knew what I was going to do, or if he really was gay but didn't want his first time to be like this. But I really didn't give a fuck. I'd change his whole perspective on life after tonight.

I pulled out my pocket knife and ran in over his cheek. A thin stream of blood bubbled up from under his skin and he whimpered through the gag in his mouth. I was starting to get turned on by his struggling. I leaned down and lapped at his blood just slightly, just to taste it. I squeezed his eyes shut and tried to flatten himself into the sheets. I should take out his gag so I can hear him beg. He was eyeing the knife with wide pleading eyes. I guess he thought I was going to kill him.

"Relax. I still need you at the moment." I cut the ropes around his ankles and sat on his legs so he couldn't start kicking at me. He started to squirm a bit more though. His eye's were begging me to stop. He was so fucking terrified. I guess I could be a little nicer. I racked my nails over his back through his shirt in a soothing manner and leaned back to take off his shoes. He started trying to loosen the ropes on his wrists by pulling and tugging at them. He wasn't doing anything but hurting himself.

"You're gonna cut yourself doing that." I warned and put my hand over his fists. He stilled instantly. More like froze. I laughed and ran my free hand, and knife, under his shirt. His skin was soft but pasty and cold. When I reached the nape of his neck under his shirt I pulled back with the knife and started to cut downwards through the thin cloth. The boy started sobbing and shaking his head.

"Shhh. If you stop fighting me this will won't be so bad." I soothed and ran my palm over the now exposed flesh of his pale back. He tried to flinch away from my touch but only succeeded in letting me touch him more. I climbed off of him and started to unbuckle all of my belts and let them drop to the floor. He watched me for a few moments in disbelief. I could just see it running through his mind.

"This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening!"

But it was. And there was nothing he could do to stop it. I wasn't about to strip completely because it was to damn cold in here to do that. It would be weird to do this with all of my clothes on though. I stopped before I unzipped my pants and felt around in my back pocket. I smiled when I found the little plastic object I was searching for and pulled it out. All of my fun would be shot to hell if I didn't have this little thing. Before I opened it though I went to take of the boys pants. He tried to kick me. I cut him really deep across his lower back. I'd really only meant to knick him. His continuous movement had made the blade pierce deeper then I'd meant it to. He stopped fighting after that.

I threw his jeans aside and kicked off my boots to climb into the bed. I turned the boy over for a brief second just so I could look at his face. He closed his eyes so he couldn't see me.

"This is your own fault. No body asked you to fucking interfere that night did they?!" I ripped his boxers off and he groaned in pure fear. I could see it in his eyes. He was silently giving up. I lowered my pants just enough to expose myself and when the kid got a clear view of me he started to sob silently.

Wow... I didn't realize I was that big. Ahehhehahahahahahaha!

I ripped the condom open and put it on. I flipped the boy back over onto his stomach and held his head still while I did my business. I'd pinned him under me so he couldn't struggle even the slightest. I didn't have any lube or anything so he was just going to have to deal with the pain for a while. If he just calmed down it wouldn't hurt as much though.

*sigh*

My eyes fluttered for a moment when I pushed in. Oh yeah, he was a virgin. A strangled gasp came from the boy. He would chock himself on that gag if he kept doing that. I rested my body over his and started to move. This reminded me of that Riku kid. He was so good. Put up way more of a fight though. Hmph. Oh well. I guess without that lamp this kid was just.. well a kid.

"Aw, don't cry. It'll all be over soon..." I breathed and gave a particularly hard thrust.

"This is what you get for being the hero." My body shook from pleasure and i breathed the boys name.

"Tim..."

It went on for hours it seemed. Tim passed out in about 20 minutes. I cleaned myself up once I was done and went about trying to blot up some of the blood that had leaked all over my sheets. Maybe I'd been a little too rough. *shrug*

It was about 8:55, the 9 o'clock news was about to come on in a few minutes. I turned on the radio to listen for it while I put Tim's clothes back on. He was still bleeding.... Hmph... Oh well. He whimpered in his sleep and I saw tears leaking from his closed eyes. I know he was having nightmares about what just happened to him. He'd have them for the rest of his life. If I let him have a 'rest of his life'.

The jingle for the news reel started up and I went to sit next to my little portable radio. At about 7:25 tonight Tim would have been claimed missing for 24 hours. If he wasn't mentioned in the news, then his parents didn't love him as much as I thought.

"We have just received word stating 19 year old Tim Jennings has been prounounced missing as of about 7:45 pm last night. He was last seen closing up his families corner drug store by the footage on the security cameras. The area for about 6 blocks was searched near by the small drug store and no sign of a struggle was found. Tim Jennings was the proclaimed hero of 25 year old Aeris Gainsborough, having saved during a brutal attack by Squall LeonHeart. The authorities are not yet sure if Tim's disappearance is directly linked to LeonHeart, but they suspect if it is, the man has been hiding out somewhere near by for quite awhile. Just at the start of week 2 for the manhunt...."

That's all I wanted to hear. I turned down the radio so it was still loud enough for me to hear. I looked at Tim. He was half awake and staring at me with a pained expression on his face. I didn't pay attention to him for a second and listened around outside. I could see the red and blue lights shining outside as the police cars headed down the street. I rolled my eyes. Fucking dumb shits.

I looked back at Tim. He flinched when I caught his eye.

"The news was talking about you." I got up off of the floor and walked over to the bed. Tim tried so hard to crawl away from me. I grabbed his leg and tugged him back. He cried out through his gag at the pain I'm sure shot up his lower back. I wasn't in the mood to hurt him at the moment. I took a moment to check the cut on his cheek and back and cleaned them up. I could tell he was wondering why I cared about his wounds even in the slightest.

"I just don't want you getting an infection and dying from gangrene or something before I'm done with you. Go to sleep." I hissed and tossed him roughly onto the bed. He balled up in the corner of the bed closed his eyes. I could tell he was trying to make himself stop crying.

Little pussy. He wasn't so brave now. Bet you he won't come to anyone else's fucking rescue next time. Hahahahahahahaha......

"Why did you do that?!!"

I paused in my villain like laughter and stared at the ceiling. It was his voice again.

"Go away." I hissed. I stood up and looked around just slightly. I know I wasn't tripping. I heard his voice loud and clear.

"Look what you've done. You didn't have to hurt him. He only wanted to save Aeris!!'

"It's his own fucking fault." I snarled and turned quickly, like he was standing right behind me. There was no one there in the darkness. But his voice was so close.

"All you had to do was leave! You just had to make things worse! I gave you a chance to get away! I can't help you anymore. Now we're both in trouble!"

"Shut the fuck up!" I bellowed and instantly slapped my hand over my mouth. My voice made the old glass in the windows shake for a moment and I listened really hard to see if anyone had heard me. All I could hear was the echo of my own voice though. I sent a cold glare in Tim's direction. He was looking at me like I'd lost my mind.

"What the fuck are you looking at?!" I snarled and ran my hands through my hair. Why did he always have that affect on me? I was the one in control. ME! I did what the fuck I wanted to. I'd gotten myself in trouble, yes! But I was enjoying this. The cops were fucking clueless as the where I was. I was just an inch away from having that brat Riku in my grasp and then Sora would be mine. But he just had to put in his 2 damn sense.

Squall.... you always had something to say didn't you?

You were always trying to tell me what to do and what not to do.

You were always saying no to me.

"That's because everything you did was wrong..."

It was my voice this time. I was gripping my head when I opened my eyes. I felt dizzy for a moment and I took a second to blink back my dizziness. It was getting a little easier to control my anger. Oh it's time for my medicine again. I pulled out the bottle and poured a few of the tiny white pills in my hand. I noticed I'd taken far less then I should have by now. ...Maybe I should take 2 this time to make up for the other times I missed. No... I go by the instructions. I can't believe I'd missed taking them so much though.... I remember starting too.

I found my bottle of water and downed the pill. It wouldn't work instantly , but when it kicked it I felt a little tired. I walked over to the bed and sat down. The boy, Tim, shrank away from me. I know why he did. I didn't know how to soothe him anymore. I'd tried to talk him into not being scared when he was first brought here. It hadn't helped. And now Tim was hurt. I leaned forward and pulled the blanket up over the boy. He gave me a truly confused look. I could tell he could see something was wrong with me.

"I'm... sorry he... I mean... I'm sorry I hurt you..." I breathed and laid down on top of the blankets. I knew this boy would hate me forever. He probably couldn't wait for the police to find me and shoot me where I stood. I didn't blame him. He'd never believe my story anyway. I figured out what was wrong with me a few days ago. The memory lose... the mood swings, waking up in strange places being accused of murder and rape... it was him... it was...

Seifer....

He was back...

Somehow...

You know the drill. Review please! :)

------

Author's notes

------

Okay, lack of Sora and Cloud scenes in this one. I think everyone can pretty much guess what was going on over at Cloud's place anyway. I'll focus on them more next chapter. I decided to drag out the scenes before the big finally with more character development so I could make IC longer. I must please my reviewers. Riku and Seph got a little touchy feely huh? There will be some heavier stuff in the next few chapters. I think chapter 16 will be twice as long as this one (42 pages with my notes.). But it was all for you guys. I had a lot of fun writing Seph's little flash back. As depressing as it was. Can you guys guess who his roommate is? He'll be mentioned again in later chapters. Oh yeah, some familiar faces are about to pop up again to. I can't wait to get to those parts. FIGHTING TIME!! I wonder if you guys can feel the sexual tension between Seph and Cloud yet. By the time I'm done, you guys will be flaming me demanding a lemon! Heheheheh. I had to much fun with this chapter. A lot of things happened. Were you guys surprised about Tim being the kid Leon was watching in the last chapter? This was an idea that's been floating around in my head since the time I wrote that Leon assaults Aeris scene. It's pretty brutal really. ( I know everyone hates me for Leon hurting Tim now *dies*) Tim's suffering will come to a very.. abrupt... end... *sigh* Leon is scaring me.

Till next time. (Goes to type chapter 16. Bless you winter break!)