--None of the Characters belong to me. © Square Soft
I hope there aren't too many typos. I wanted to get this chapter posted since it's been such a long time since chapter 16. The person who guessed Leon's issue back in chapter.... 14? I believe, is mentioned in one of the POV's. Another plot/character development chapter. I will continue in my attempt to drag out IC so it will at least be longer then 20 chapters.... But at this rate... It still may be only about.... 20 chapters. Hope you guys like it, hope it was worth the wait. :D
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Chapter 17
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You and I, we're more alike then I thought. We both desire the same thing.
We both just want to be.... loved....
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Leon...?
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"I thought we were going to the police station..."
Nngg.... Will this kid shut up. For fucks sake...
"Why are we taking such a big detour...?"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose and shook my head. Be nice. Like Leon. Be nice. I gritted my teeth and tried to keep my facial expression straight. I couldn't let on that my mood had taken a big change for the worse.
"Look... Tim. We are going to the police station. I'm trying to avoid getting shot to death if that's alright with you.... Weather you're with me or not they may still fire... Okay..." I forced the last word out, hoping he got the point finally. I was tempted to put his gag back on, but then he might notice I was.. wasn't myself. The idea was to fool him long enough to get to where I was headed. I wasn't going to drag him there. That would slow me down much more then I'd like.
Tim seemed to believe me and continued to blindly follow my footsteps. I wonder if he knew where I was really going. I slowed my step so I could get behind him once again. I had to watch him. He may still try to make a break for it. OR try to kick me in the back or something. I noticed he was staggering slightly. His movements were sluggish. Guess I fucked him a little harder then I thought. Oh well... Was his own fault. He wasn't half bad either.... I should have a little more fun with him before I finish him off...
Hmm... Nah. Not time for that now anyway.
You know, it amazes me how trusting he is now. He's not even showing the slightest suspicious that I could be duping him.... He probably doesn't even care anymore. He just wants to get away. The prospect of being let free, alive, was a little too overwhelming I guess. The idiot.
I should just do it now.... NO! I have to wait. Shouldn't be long now. Just a few more blocks.
Tim suddenly stopped.
I was smiling so hard and was so lost in thought that I didn't notice and ran into his back. He yelped and leapt forward, about to break into a run. I grabbed him and roughly pulled him back before he barely took a step forward.
"Where the fuck...!"
I started to yell, but caught myself. I was supposed to be Leon. Calm, cool,..... sweet....
"Be quiet damn it!" I hissed in a hushed tone. What the fuck was he trying to do? I could still hear his startled cry echoing in the small space of the back alley. I forced myself not to just strangle him then and there.
"S...ss.. sorry...." He stuttered in fear. I shook my head and pushed him away from me.
"That's it. I can't let that happen again." I growled.
I reached forward and pulled his gag back up. He protested slightly and I gave him a quick jolt when I tied the clothe tight around his mouth. That would shut him up.
"Walk." I ordered and pointed forward. He gave me a saddened expression but proceeded forward. I sighed in relief. He didn't notice my anger flare. Good...
How did Squall manage to put up with shit like this? He was always so fucking nice to people. Even when they treated him like trash. I swear I hated that about him. I wanted to smack him for being such a pussy. When I did, he acted like it was the most horrible thing I'd ever done to him. So I hit him a bit. So what. In the end it toughed him up. He dumped those fucking nosey ass friends of his too. God I hated them. Them and there fake smiles. They never really cared about Squall. Just always wanted to be in his business. In our business.
They didn't want us to be together from the start. They were always trying to get him to break up with me. Even after I apologized for my mistakes they'd try to talk him into leaving me.
Leaving me.
I always wanted to be with him.
I loved him.
And each time I hurt him I was so sorry for it.
And he always forgave me.
What...?
What did I do to screw that up...?
What...?
"What?" I whispered softly when I noticed Tim stop. He was eyeing me with this strange cautious look that caused me to frown. I looked around slightly to see what was up before locking eyes back with him. He didn't say anything and his wide gaze was starting to unnerve me. Well... he couldn't really speak with the gag in his mouth. I reached forward and pulled it off of his face.
"You... you were talking to yourself..." He said softly. I glared at him for a moment and he flinched and took a step back. I didn't advance on him though.
"And?" I hissed, testing his reaction. I wanted him to say something about it. I hadn't noticed I was mumbling out loud, and I couldn't really remember what I'd said. I may have just given myself away. I was already at my wits end with this kid. He had no idea how badly I just wanted to cut his head off right now. One clean stroke was all it would take.
".... You said... You said Squall..." Tim stuttered. My eyes went wide for a brief second. I tried to hide it but I know the kid saw it.
"Why are you talking about yourself...? Isn't your name...? Aren't you... Squall...?" The kid took another step back and I knew any moment he was going to bolt.
"So I talk about myself in the third person. So the fuck what! Just shut the hell up and keep walking!" I tried not to raise my voice. My grip on my Gunblade tightened and I could feel the ache in my palm. It was getting so hard to keep my anger in check.
It used to be like this with Squall. He always questioned what I did. Always. It used to make me so mad. So fucking mad!
"Walk damn you!" I snarled after a moment. Tim turned away from me and started to take steady steps again. He was looking around every which way as we moved and I knew he was trying to figure out where we were. He would know in a minute. We were almost out of the alley anyway.
"Take a left here." I ordered quietly. Tim stopped and stood completely still. I stopped just behind him and sighed. What the hell? Now what was it?
"First... tell me why you're doing this."
My eyes went wide. Tim didn't see it though.
"Look, I don't think you're in any fucking position to ask for anything from me boy. Walk!"
I gave him a rough shove and he staggered. When he caught himself he stood still again. He turned to me and looked me dead in the eye. There was a slight hint of pain in his expression. I'm sure me constantly shoving him around was aggravating his wounded backside. Interestingly though, for the first time since I took this boy hostage he actually looked like he wasn't afraid of me anymore.
"Why?" he asked again. His voice held no fear what so ever.
The fuck?!
"I said..." I started...
"I don't care what you said!" Tim yelled back at me. Cutting me off. I gave him a shocked expression. Who the hell did he think he was? I was the one in charge here.
"Why do this? Why attack Miss Aeris? Why attack... and hurt me?! I can tell something horrible happened to you.. something.. some one you loved did to you..."
I felt my eyes narrow. This boy was pushing it way to far. It was one thing for him to be yelling at me like this, but to suddenly jump to conclusions about something.... Wait.... Oh yeah. Ahheh.. He doesn't know... He thinks I'm Squall... That's right....
Squall...
"I know people just like you. You get off on hurting people weaker then you. You get off on abusing peoples feelings towards you and hurt them for it.... Just because you can. You hurt Miss Aeris for no reason at all. And now.... now you attacked me because I managed to hurt you back. It doesn't feel to good does it, when your the one being hurt!?"
I froze.
Wait a minute...
"I heard you, earlier, talking about him. About Squall, and I figured it out. Whoever you are, you hurt him, just like you're doing now. You keep getting him in trouble. It wasn't Squall who attacked Miss Aeris!" Tim squared his shoulders suddenly. I noticed for the first time just how tall and big this kid was. He was about my size actually. If it wasn't for his hands being bound, he could probably take me on.... Maybe even beat me.
"You said his name.... a few nights ago. You said he was back?
This really weird sensation passed over me, like a chill down my spine. Only... it was much more... paralyzing...
"It was you... You're the one who attacked Miss Aeris that night..." Tim narrowed his eyes at me.
In my minds eye, I saw glass breaking into a million microscopic pieces. And a startling realization hit me hard in the gut...
"Seifer..." He whispered.
My name sounded like a bitter, evil, curse you'd only wish on someone you truly and utterly despised beyond all logical reasoning. Hearing my name said like that... Hearing someone other then Squall utter it... sent a pained through my chest. A hot searing pain. Almost piercing... like hot sharp metal... It made me feel... scared, lonely, and weak.... That's the same way Squall said it that day... the day he...
Killed me....?
Tim was giving me this almost triumphant stare. He'd managed somehow, to explain what I couldn't in a way I could understand. And it broke something in me....
"So it's Seifer then...? You were.... Mr. Leon's... Squall's lover... his boyfriend... right?"
Tim was talking to me now. His voice suddenly soft and pitying. I lowered my gaze to the pavement and stared at my feet. How had he managed to figure all of this out...?
"You talk to yourself out loud about a lot of things. I just over heard...."
My head snapped up and I leveled Tim with a dangerous glare. He over heard? All those times I thought he'd been asleep he'd just been faking it? And now he knew the truth... somewhat anyway.
"Why didn't you say anything... if you knew what was really going on..?"
Why hadn't he?
"Because..." Tim looked suddenly very, very sad. I snarled inwardly at that look. I hated it when people gave me that look. When they looked at Squall like that.
"At first... I just thought you were evil, that you were only hurting people just for the sake of hurting them. I didn't know you, and I still don't. After you... after you..."
Tim's voice broke for a second and I knew exactly what he was talking about. I felt a twinge of guilt for just a brief moment. He couldn't seem to bring himself to say it out loud, so I just said the words for him.
"After I raped you." I said flatly.
Tim glared at me through his mussed bangs and I saw so much hatred in his baby blue eyes. I was just stating what was true. I had raped him. I wouldn't deny it.... I didn't.... really like the fact that I'd done it now... though... It just sort of happened...
"Yes.... after you did that..." He hissed. He was leaning against one of the brick buildings in a slightly lit area of the alley. He looked tired. Of me, and of what he was going through. It was almost over.
"After.... after it happened.. I just kept telling myself it was a bad dream.. That I'd wake up any minute and find myself safe at home in my bed. But when I opened my eyes... there I was.... flat on my stomach, naked, bloody, in some old run down building.... Alone with you..."
Tim took a breath and I noticed his eyes get really shiny. He was fighting back pained tears with all of his might. I always thought boys his age that cried were pansy little bitches. No matter how bad you were hurt. Suck it up and walk it off.
Squall could never do that...
".... I wanted to kill you..." Tim whispered. I inclined my head to look up at the sky and stared at the dark clouds looming overhead. It looked like it would rain any minute now. And this kid.. was just trying to stall. I'm sure he's figured out by now what I plan to do with him. Especially if he knows I'm not 'Squall' at the moment.
"I couldn't wait for the police to find you and gun you down... I've never hated anyone before... I've never wished death on any person I've known.... Ever... But you..."
I looked back down at Tim and almost gaped at how he was looking at me. All of this talk of hating me, of wanting me dead, and I saw no anger or ill will in his eyes at all.
Just this...Ungh... stomach churning look of pity...
"I just... After spending this time with you... seeing how you really are... I feel sorry for you... Sorry for what happened to you... Sorry.. that he hurt you like that..."
How he hurt me!?
"How you hurt me Seifer."
I was suddenly on Tim, my fist ready to knock him into oblivion. I wanted to see him bleed, I wanted to see him beg for me to kill him so his pain would stop, I wanted to hurt him so bad...."
He didn't know anything!
"You don't know anything!" I yelled.
I was always the one being blamed!
"Everyone always thought it was just me!" I smacked Tim's back hard against the wall and watched him cringe. He didn't cry out in protest though.
It wasn't fair that I had to suffer like that! No one would believe me!
"I tried to tell someone what he did to me! I told all of the adults how I'd been hurt but no one believed me!
"I was always getting in trouble! No matter what I got blamed for everything! Every night he'd come and take me away to that dark room.... Every night I'd cry and beg for him to stop, that I didn't want to! I would get so mad! Wasn't saying NO enough!? Wasn't saying that it hurt enough to make him stop!? No one understood me! No one took the time to see that I had feelings too! No body but him! Only Squall understood! That's why I....."
I suddenly paused and looked at the blue eyed boy in front of me. Looking at him now, it was like seeing his face for the first time. He had deep expressive pretty blue eyes that almost sparkled. In this light, his sandy blonde hair looked almost brown, almost auburn. And he was looking at me with so much understanding.... He could see what I was feeling... could understand what I was going through... And he didn't even know me...
Squall used to look at me like that...
And so did Sora....
They were the same to me.
In almost every single way.
Those eyes, their mannerisms. No one ever saw how gentle and loving Squall was behind closed doors. He was the sweetest person I'd ever known. That day so long ago, when I was barely 10, when he came to me and said he was sorry about what happened to me, that he understood how I felt. That he wouldn't let the bad man hurt me again....
And then he hugged me.... Only 9 years old.... And he'd just gone through the same thing...
We're alike you and me....
We have to keep this a secret.... The grown ups won't believe us anyway....
But.. we don't need them. We have each other right? We'll protect each other right?
Somehow... Squall and I... We developed this love/hate relationship as time passed. But in the end, we ended up loving each other for real.
And everyone hated me for it.
Hated Seifer.
They all had me pinned as this juvenile delinquent kid with a fowl mouth and attitude to back it up. I went through life always being accused of every bad thing that ever happened. Squall was the only person that saw past that... The only person who took the time to get to know me...
And I screwed it up...
I hurt him... the same way I was hurt when I was a kid....
Yet... he still stayed with me....
"He.. he loved you..." Tim was whispering now. I noticed blood leaking from his mouth. I'd slammed him into the wall a bit to hard.
"He... Squall... understood you... That's why he stayed with you. Regardless of what anyone said, regardless of the pain you put him through... He stayed with you... But... now you have to let him go...."
I pulled away and watched Tim stagger forward.
Something was wrong...
Very wrong...
Wait...
Let him go!?
Let Squall go!?
Let Sora go!?...
I can't do that!
He's mine!
Squ...ora's mine!
Sora's mine!
He said he was!
I told him he always would be!
He'll always be mine!
"I don't know who you are... Leon... Squall... Seifer..." Tim groaned in pain. "But for what it's worth... I'm sorry you had to suffer like that.... I'm sorry..."
I snatched Tim up by his shirt collar and started to drag him. He staggered along behind me like a dog with a broken leg. I was going to end this now! I had to shut him up. He didn't know anything. He was sorry? For what? He didn't understand? He wanted me to let Squall ~Sora~ go?!" How dare he say something like that to me...!
Ah.. my head hurts... All these voices... in my head....
"He killed you...." Tim gasped and tried to pry away from me. He was digging the heels of this shoes into the pavement in a futile attempt to slow me down.
I could see the bridge, only another 20 feet away maybe, it's lights glowing dully in the bitter night air. But my step faltered. Tim was practically on his knees, his breaths short and rushed. I threw him to the ground and took a step away from him.
"Seifer's... dead Mr. Leon... He's dead.. You said it yourself. You said you killed him... yourself..."
Squall killed me??!!
I gripped my head, wincing in pain....
"You're such a worthless fucking piece for trash. I can't believe I actually believed I could love someone like you.....You're a whore. No body wants you. All you'll ever have is me. Your own fucking father disowned you the moment he met you. Even he can see your not worth it. I can smell it on you! What, did you forget to take a shower or something? Forgot to cover your tracks? How long has this been going on?! For fucks sake, you always ruin everything don't you?!"
I always...
"Don't you fucking walk away from me!".
He was going to kill me that day....
"Squall.... I... I love you..."
That boy warned me.... Why didn't I listen...?
"Please Squall. I know what he does to you... Don't go home tonight..."
Why didn't listen!!??
"Squall.... you... you killed me...."
I was so... happy to watch him suffer. To watch him die... Because I knew... I knew that he wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore....
"So that's how it ended..?!" I was talking to myself but looking at Tim. I was so damn confused right now. I didn't know who I was at the moment...
"Squall killed me?!"
"That's right Seifer."
Tim nodded once just slightly. I hadn't really asked him that question. But he just had to answer it didn't he?! I gritted my teeth and griped my Gunblade. This boy! He had to go now!
"Seifer... wait..."
"It's too late Squall!!"
I raised the Gunblade above my head, it's blade pointed down. All it would take was one swift movement. I'd catch him in the spleen. He'd be pinned to the ground like a stuck pig. He die in a matter of seconds.
"It's all in your head! He's dead because he hurt you! It was self defense!"
Tim wasn't making any attempt to roll over or try to run away from me. There was something about what he was saying that made me feel funny. Sad. Made me feel sad. I was regretting something deep in my heart. Something... I couldn't remember for some reason.
Squall had killed me.... But here I was... This didn't make sense... If I was dead.... How am I...? Wasn't I...? Why would Squall kill me...? I thought he loved me...?
"I did...."
I stared out into the darkness of the cold night looking for his face in to appear at that moment. To see his smile, his beautiful gray blue eyes.... To just see him.... But I didn't. No one was there. Just me and this boy.
"He killed you.... Seifer" Tim said again from his spot on the ground. "Look..." The boy motioned to a panel of old almost completely shattered glass in a window next to me. I turned and gaped at my reflection.
My reflection...?
It was broken and distorted due to the fragmented shards of glass.... but I could see plain as day who's reflection was looking back at me....
This is... This isn't my face...
There they were... Those eyes. Piercing blue. Cold as ice. But oh so beautiful. You could drown in them. But you wouldn't be afraid to die. Because in the depths of those endless, emotionless windows of his soul, you'd find something more powerful then love.
Older, but still the same.
Squall's face...
But... why....?
Where was I now then?
What was going on...?
"It's all in your head....." Tim said again. His words shattered my reverie. I looked back down at him and he looked back up at me.
"You are not Seifer. He died a long time ago. You killed him to protect yourself. You are Squall. Seifer can't hurt you anymore....."
I lowered the Gunblade and took a step back, covering my face. My head hurt almost unbearably. I was so lost...Why didn't anything make sense anymore.
I'm not Seifer... But I'm Squall and I feel Seifer's feelings. But Seifer's dead.
I'm schizophrenic... Right? I'm sick... Right?
I'm Squall... I killed Seifer because he... tried to kill me...
On his birthday...
I killed Seifer the day after his birthday.
Because he tried to kill me....
That's it....
"You broke my heart as easily as you broke that glass bottle that day.
The love I had for you was just a reason for me to find an excuse to exist.
I needed someone to live for.
A reason to live.
That day when I was barely 10 I found a kindred spirit in you.
We were alike you and I.
But was it love.. or just need?
Need for the other's presence.
I gave you a reason to live.
I gave you a physical punching bag...
I suffered for the both of us.
Took the burden of life... of bad memories... of being hurt... for the both of us...
I'm so tired... Seifer.
Just let me go....
I'm in love again, and it's not with you....
For once I want to be happy..
I'm sorry things had to end the way they did...
I wish you a restful and peaceful eternal sleep..."
"Squall wait!"
I saw it, the blade spin in the air then plunge down. I saw his eyes dim to gray/green empty pools as he drew his last breath... I saw.. I watched him die. I felt him die.
It was self defense....
I realize that now.
Seifer... you can't hurt me anymore....
I looked heaven ward again and felt a smile tug at my lips. It was... a smile of liberation. Of freedom... Seifer was.... He was....
"Goodbye Seifer."
Gone.
Something clicked in me then... Something wonderful... I wasn't angry anymore... I wasn't upset. I was just lonely. I wanted to be near him again. I wanted his soft hands caressing my face. His petal soft lips kissing my scars and making the pain go away. I wanted....
Sora....
He was mine.... Sora was mine....
Sora?
...Sora.... is... mine...
Those eyes...
Sora.....
Everyone is trying to take him away from me....
But he's mine....
Everyone....
Riku...
Riku was trying to take Sora away from me.
I looked down at Tim and noticed his pained expression.
"I have to find Sora." I said softly. He gave me a confused look from over his shoulder. I'd completely forgotten what I was about to do with him...
"Who's Sora?!" He yelled obviously frustrated that his attempt to make me see reason had failed. Fuck reason.
"It doesn't matter." I raised my Gunblade again.
"Wait! Squall don't do this!" His eyes pleaded with me. I smiled just slightly.
"Squall?" I let the name I knew so well roll on my tongue. It was strange being called by my real name after so long. "That's right. I am Squall aren't I." I whispered.
Tim gave me a wide eyed confused gaze when I slashed quickly at his back. He tensed up, waiting for death. But it wasn't going to come tonight. Not by me anyway. The ropes binding his wrists snapped softly and he laid there, completely confused with my actions.
Tim was only trying to protect Aeris.
"I'm sorry.." I whispered. It was all I really could say.
I was done with him. I was done with the past.
With Seifer.
I didn't say anything more to the boy and just walked away. He could find his way home by himself from here. I hope.... he can forgive me someday for what I put him through. That's right, it was all in my head. I'd killed Seifer. He was gone now. Dead and buried. I didn't feel sad, or even regret killing him. He'd honestly deserved to die for what he put me through. I was always there for him. Always. I was ready to move on with my life now. Ready to let him go for good.
Now.. I had to get my Sora back. And get rid of Riku. For once, I understood somewhat how Seifer used to feel. He loved me so much that he didn't want to share me. That's how I feel about Sora. That boy, he understands me. He loved me in a way no one else could. He loves me the way I loved Seifer. But unlike Seifer, I won't hurt Sora... I'll love him back with equal passion. I'll give him what he really wants.
I have to show him that he and I are meant to be.
Riku's just a fling. It's puppy love. Riku can never really appreciate Sora. Not really. Not ever. Not the way I do.
Riku is evil.
He'd tried to kill Sora at one time.
I never really liked that kid. And now he'd taken Sora away from me.
I still don't understand everything that's going on.... But I know now....
I have to get rid of Riku.
There's no telling what he's putting Sora through. All of that pain he caused him 2 years ago. That evil back stabbing little bastard. How dare he come back after all this time and try to take Sora away from me. Sora was happy with me. And I was happy with him.
Happy with Sora.
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????
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"Hello, this is Officer Krimzon at the 2nd district police station."
The officer sounded young. I hesitated for a moment before I spoke.
"Yeah... um... I'd like to file a 2 sexual assault complaints. I'm... a boy..."
"Don't be ashamed. I'm here to help you, not judge you. Alright, sexual assault? In what degree?" The officer sounded nice, concerned... caring...
"Rape...." I just barely whispered.
"I see. Your name please." I frowned and bit my bottom lip.
"I'd like to file anonymously." I really didn't want to give out my name.
"Young man, you do realize what level an offense rape is don't you. I need all of your personal information regarding the rape, when it happened and who is suspected of the crime."
"Suspected?" I said back. Officer Krimzon let out a soft sigh.
"I know you're scared young man, but I'm here to help you now. So please, tell me everything that happened. Would you rather... come down to the station and...."
"No!" I almost yelled. I gathered my composure and lowered my voice again. I couldn't have anyone over hear me.
"Listen... I know who raped me. And.. I know where he is..."
"Go on." Officer Krimzon was speaking in a hushed tone so as not to let anyone over hear. But I could hear people in the background go quiet. I was on the speaker phone now, I could tell because I could hear my voice echoing in the receiver.
"My rapist is Squall LeonHeart. He's hiding out in the 2nd district old abandoned Inn."
"Squall LeonHeart!"
"Yes." I said softly. Why sound so surprised?
"You're positive he's the man that sexually assaulted you?"
What a dumb question. Of course I was sure. But I knew it was standard procedure for the police to ask twice just to be positive.
"Young man... What's your name...?"
"I said I'm not giving you my name. There was another person who was raped too... My friend...."
"Two people? How long ago?
The officer sounded so shocked.
"About 2 months ago..."
"Why didn't you call in then?" Officer Krimzon was trying to hold me on the phone while notes were taken. I could tell. Not only had I just given them another reason to go after Leon, but I'd just told them where he was too.
I smiled slightly.
"I was scared. He threatened to kill me and my friend. He told me not to tell anyone."
"Where are you now."
"I can't tell you."
"Okay...., are you certain LeonHeart is in District 2?"
"Oh yes. I'm very certain." I stated simply.
"How do you know?" They were starting to trace the phone I was on now. To bad it was a cell phone.
"I just do." I said softly.
"That's not evidence enough for....!" Officer Krimzon yelled.
"I have to go now." I didn't give any more time for Officer Krimzon to say anything more and I just hung up.
*click*
I smiled to myself.
There... it was done.
------
Cloud
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"Why are you on the phone Sora?" I asked softly, taking the receiver from him. He looked a little afraid of me for some reason and shrank away until he was standing on the other side of the room. I noticed he'd tried to hastily hang up the phone when I walked in.
I stared down at the little black piece of plastic and frowned. It hadn't rang all day. Not a call from Aeris, not a chewing out by Cid, .... and no call from Seph. Under normal circumstances I would been happy the phone wasn't ringing off of the hook. I didn't really like being on the phone. But now.... It seemed like my only way to reach the outside world. I hadn't been to work in almost 3 weeks... I couldn't leave Sora alone. Anything we needed I had delivered to the apartment. I was starting to get cabin fever. Even though I wasn't here alone, Sora refused to really talk to me. After that long discussion we had last time.... I hadn't even had the chance to tell Seph what we'd discovered.
"Hmph..." I heard Sora snort softly in the corner he'd made himself comfortable in. He'd practically moved into that small area of the living room. He slept there and ate there. He only left to go to the bathroom or something. He'd become a little hermit. Sometimes, when it was really dark in the house, I'd look over there and see him looking back at me. His blue eyes almost glowing in the pale light of the room.
His behavior was creeping me out to say the least.
"Hmph, what?" I asked. My voice came out bitter though. Sora got up and stretched across the couch. He was wearing pajamas again. That's all he wore all day long. This time a red pair of sweat pants and a white t-shirt. He gave me this cool stare for a moment then smiled. But it wasn't a happy smile.
It was twisted.
"It sure seems that you miss Sephiroth far more then he misses you." Sora spoke softly, but made sure I could hear him very clearly. I scowled and put the phone back on it's base. I put my towel around my shoulders, I'd just gotten out of the shower, and turned around to give Sora a vicious glare.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I hissed.
Sora shrugged and turned over to lay on his back.
"I was just pointing out the obvious. That's all." Sora yawned and closed his eyes. I felt my temper flare. Oh, Sora had no idea how much thin ice he was on with me right now.
"Pointing out the obvious?" I said slowly, biting back a string of swear words. "I call that being a little prick and prying into business that's for fucking certain not yours."
Ah, swear word slipped. But it made my point sound all the more better.
Sora opened his eyes and regarded me silently. So I was resorting to name calling. Maybe I was being childish. But I wasn't in a good mood right now so... yeah whatever.
"Don't get mad at me because you're sexually frustrated. This long distance relationship crap wasn't my bright idea anyway." Sora sat up and stared at me.
"If you miss him so much just go and see him."
I raised an eyebrow. Sexually frustrated hmm? Oh, Sora had me SO fucked up.
"No." I said, just short of snapping. I wasn't upset just because I hadn't had sex in damn near 21 days. I just missed my god damn boyfriend?! Was that a fucking crime?!
"I won't leave the apartment." Sora kept going. I wasn't stupid. He was deliberately trying to talk me into leaving so he could sneak out.
"Like Hell." I hissed. Sora frowned.
"It's bad enough that Riku managed to override my security system and leave last time. I won't even have that to keep you in if I leave you alone. So, uh, I'll just have to bear with it."
Sora stood up and walked up behind me. I made a face at how close he was standing to me. He was so close that I could smell soap on him from his bath.
"What?" I said in irritation. Sora smirked.
"You're worried aren't you? About what I said"
I blinked. Something about the tone of his voice bothered me. Fucking shit... he hadn't asked that. He was stating a pretty damn obvious fact! I couldn't really tell what he was getting at though. I gave him a confused look, and decided to wait for him to continue before I jumped to conclusions.
"I warned you about this." Sora spoke softly and leaned away from me. He brushed his hair out of his eyes before he went on. His tone serious now. "Sephiroth hasn't called you in several days. Hasn't even left a message on your answering machine. He won't even answer your calls. Why not I wonder." Sora paused and put his index finger on his bottom lip. Another smirk spread across his pink lips. I was frowning now.
"I told you this would happen. Riku has this aura about him that practically emits sexuality. He's... hard to resist. He won me over after all." Sora chuckled for a minute at his own comment.
"But a man like Sephiroth. Even Riku would have trouble getting him to swoon."
Okay... Sora was digging his own grave now. Be calm Cloud. He's just a kid... a 16 year old brat who has no idea what he's talking about. That's all.
But....
Sora went on, he was giving me this very sultry look that made me my stomach flutter oddly.
"Riku and Sephiroth. Those two are... kinda alike you know." Sora looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought for a moment. I felt my mouth go dry.
"Both in personality and appearance. Hell, if I didn't know any better, I'd say they were related." A chuckle escaped Sora's throat. But the sound held no humor or happiness. It was a chuckle of... Fuck I don't even know.
"Oh, I shouldn't think like that. All of those nice visions I have about those two together would be soiled."
Double take. Visions? Of Seph and Riku? TOGETHER?!!
Rapid blinking session taking place.
Okay.... I rubbed my eyes and took a breath.
"Excuse me?" I forced out. Had I heard Sora right. Now... there are several ways to... take the implications of what Sora meant when he said 'together'. Only one ran through my mind.
And I have to say... I felt more then a little... sinful... and dirty.... for the rapid succession of images that graced my brain.
My face was burning. I tried to hide my.. uh... slight mental arousal at the thought of Riku and Seph 'together'. Sora saw it. And I saw a positively sinister feral grin cross his face. I had to step back.
For someone so... sweet and innocent looking as Sora, he sure could look damn evil.
"See what I mean." Sora breathed. He brought his index finger to his lips and bit down on it. Almost like he had to repress a very passionate sigh. I got out a bit anyway.
"Can't you just see it. I won't lie Cloud. Sephiroth if fucking gorgeous. I think I mentally cheated on Riku the first time I saw him. Ha, and I wasn't even with Riku back then." Sora's eyes were sparkling now. "Have you ever seen him fight?"
I knew Sora was referring to the tournament and the Coliseum. But no... I'd never seen Seph fight. But he must have been pretty damn good.... to keep up with Sora anyway. The kid may have been small, but he was incredibly powerful. At least, he used to be.
I shook my head finally. Sora's grin grew wider. He looked like a murderous little doll. I starting to get kinda... creeped out.
"I'm sure I don't have to tell you, but I bet he's amazing in bed."
I glared. It was all I could think to do.
"All of that tight taunt muscle rippling under all of that perfect flawless ivory skin. And that silver hair, soft as feathers falling in your face, laced in your fingers." I heard Sora squeal softly. That squeal bordered on a soft moan. My stomach felt really hot suddenly. I couldn't help but wonder if Sora had seen Seph naked for some reason. How did he know Seph was flawless.
Sora licked his lips and I saw him grip his shirt just slightly. It looked like he was getting turned on for some reason.
"I bet his lips are soft as flower petals, and just a smooth. I can just see it. He's on top, looking down, his eyes, so intense, so focused, burning into you, controlling you. You feel lost, but you want to stay lost. Forever."
Sora ran his hands through his hair and moan silently, his eyes closed. I noticed vaguely that I was sitting now. Leaning forward slightly while I listened to his soft words.
"He's probably gentle, slow, drawing out every touch and caress with the tips of his fingers. He makes it feel so good it hurts. You don't think you'll be able to take much more."
I like how Sora kept saying 'you'. Kind of felt like he was referring to me.
"Then, just when you think he can't make your body feel even the slightest bit more wonderful then it already does..." Sora paused and I watched his eyes slide closed. He bit his bottom lip and took a quick breath through his nose.
"He... you.... you feel him..."
My eyes slide closed.
Oh yeah, I know what he felt like.
"He's hard, slick, smooth, long. Fits oh so perfectly inside you."
My pants felt extremely tight now.
"And it hurts at first. Hurts so good that you can't help but gasp, breath forcefully, and run your nails across that powerful, absolutely perfect back."
Oh dear God...
"He can't thrust fast enough. You want it to hurt but you don't want to feel the pain." Sora opens his eyes, and I notice very vaguely that he can't seem to control his breathing.
"But you do want to feel the pain." Sora whispers.
I think I just nodded.
"And he makes it hurt. Makes your body do things you didn't think it was capable of. Makes you let go of your inhibitions. He makes you want to obey."
I had to bit down on my bottom lip to keep a moan that I'd been holding onto for a long from escaping. This was.... unreal...
"He makes you yell. 'Harder', 'Faster', 'More', 'Don't stop'..." Sora walked up to me at some point and tipped my head up to look at him. His blue eyes gleamed down at me. I was gaping, I knew. My mouth was incredibly dry too.
"Fuck me."
Sora whispered.
Mentally I went into rapid blinking mode. Outwardly, I think I just drooled.
"Fuck me." Sora repeated. His breath soft and rushed. I felt his warm mint scented breath wash over my face, and that's when I noticed how close his lips were.
"Fuck me." He said for the last time, and his lips just brushed mine.
"Cloud."
I came to a conclusion. Satin really does exit. His physical form is a petite, brown haired, blue eyed, 16 year old boy. Named Sora.
Yeah...
Sora pulled away from me abruptly and I caught myself before I fell face first onto the floor. I looked up at him wide eyed and confused. Sora gave me a blank look before he smiled.
No emotion what so ever in that curve of his lips.
"At least... that's what I think it would be like to sleep with Sepiroth." He says. His voice no longer airy and sexual. I gaped at his sudden change in character.
What. The. Fuck??!!
"Now imagine Riku and Seph together. To me, those two are one and the same. Riku's a bit more... graceless, but still a fierce sexually charged individual." Sora looks at the ceiling again for a brief moment without tilting his head up. His eyes drop back down to look at me, narrowing slightly. "Pretty HOT huh?"
I shook my head to clear my hazy state of mind. I swear.... I almost came in my pants. That was.... a little too close of comfort there. Oh, and Sora knew it too.
"You have at least... some reason to be worried Cloud. Just to let you know, I slept with Riku the same night he came back home from Kingdom Hearts. He'd barely been back for 10 hours...." Sora didn't sound to proud when he said that.
"I trust Seph." I said without really thinking about it. The words just flowed naturally. I was slightly angry with myself for letting my control slip like that just now. All over a description. Albeit, a damn vivid description. But still....
God, I miss my boyfriend.
"I know you do. That's why I'm warning you." Sora's voice sounded very sad suddenly and I gave him a blank look. There he went with change in character again. This kid could win an Academy award at the rate he was going.
"That whole distance makes the heart grow fonder crap is true." Sora huffs. He'd laid back on the couch he'd perched on and covered his face with his forearm. ".... It's different though, when the there's someone there to fill that distance. Someone you didn't really want to be there."
"Sora....." I started but clamped my mouth shut. I didn't know how to word this exactly without it sounding like an insult. But... it would only be an insult if it weren't true. What I was about to say was very true. So true it hurt me to say it.
"Is that what happened with Leon?"
Sora lifted his arm and gave me a hurt look. I knew I struck home. So that's what Sora was trying to tell me. He wasn't trying to scare me on purpose. He... feels bad about what happened between him and Leon.
"I... I did use him..." Sora started. His voice cracked. Oh no.. Please don't cry.
"I missed Riku.. so much. I was making myself sick... worrying about him. I needed.. something, anything..., anyone to latch onto. Leon was in a similar predicament. So... ultimately we fed off each others sorrow. We gave each other shoulders to lean... and far, far more."
Yeah, no kidding...
Sora took a breath. "But... somewhere down the road... our mutual understanding for each others needs turned into.... love... I guess. Yeah, Love."
I bit back a twinge of anger.
Love. The word got tossed around far to easily. Sora didn't know what being in love was. He was too young to really understand. What he and Leon had wasn't love. It was.... Pedophilia. Leon twisted his sick infatuation for Sora into words that made the boy feel better. Made him believe Leon really loved him....
Stop Cloud... Stop... you don't know that for sure.... Leon really, and truly could be in love with Sora. And that, in concept, was okay. But.... to act on it... to think something could come of it... was just sick. Sora was a child. Age did really matter in this situation. Sora wasn't, and still isn't, mentally and psychologically mature enough to be in a relationship like the one he 'thought' he had with Leon. He can't even handle the 'teen' angst relationship he has with Riku. And Riku's only a year older then him.
"And how do you feel about Leon now Sora? Do you still love him?"
Sora turned to me then, eyes unblinking. He looked mad for some reason now. Maybe he was angry that I mention something was so plainly 'obvious' as he'd put it. But I was so wrong about that.
"No. I don't love Leon." Sora said softly and slowly. I blinked in utter confusion as he sat up and leveled me with a powerful icy gaze.
"I love Squall."
------
Tim
------
I can't go back now....
What am I going to tell my parents?...
I.... can't even believe it myself....
That man.... what he did to me....
I was so scared. Scared that he'd kill me... but then....
I....
No.... that's not me... I'm not like that...
I'm not that kind of person....
He hurt me....
I didn't want to do it....
Then....
Why did I start to like it...?
I can't take this anymore....
....I can't....
------
Sephiroth.
------
I should really call Cloud and tell him what's going on.
I should just pick up the phone and dial his number.
It's just two simple movements. Pick up the phone. Dial the number.
Simple.
But why, tell me, does it sound like, scaling a sheer horizontal cliff with nothing between you but air.... pavement....?
What the hell am I going to say to Cloud if I do get up the nerve to call?
I don't even know where to starting thinking about that.
I really shouldn't be this hard.
Nothing is really going on over here anyway.
But why do I feel so damn guilty?
Do I feel guilty?
Okay.... I had some brief sexual thoughts about a 17 year old boy... that just happens to like me... and just happens to be pretty damn hot.
Okay, I feel guilty.
But nothing has happened.
Yet.
I take that back. Nothing will happen. I won't let it.
I.... almost let it.
Fuck!
I don't like not being in control like this. I feel far too.... out of control. This has to be because I haven't had sex in so long. Imagine going from making love 6 and 7 times a day... to... not doing it at all....
It's kind of like not eating for several days.
I'm starving damn it.
STARVING!!
*sigh*
I flopped down on my bed and buried my face in my blanket. Defeated. This was so not cool. I felt like I was grounded for doing something really, really bad. I couldn't see my boyfriend or do the things I liked to do. But there was no one stopping me.
I raised my head to take a breath and pulled my pillow to me. Balling up, I hugged the downy filled cushion to me and sulked. It was all I could do really. I glanced up at toward my door way and saw Riku's shadow lingering just outside of view. He was probably trying to come in here and talk to me, but didn't really know what he was going to say. He'd been quite since he'd poured his heart out to me some days ago.
He'd avoided me too.
Can't say I don't blame him really. It's not like I was trying to start up any conversations either.
*sigh*
I didn't feel like talking to anyone but Cloud right now. I wanted the hear his voice. His laugh, his whispers. Ack!
I hate this.
I grimaced and stuffed my face in my pillow again. I had to lift up again quicker this time because I'd gotten lots of my hair in my mouth. I pulled the, too long, strands out of my mouth and tossed them aside.
I need a hair cut.
Cloud would just die if I got one.
How short would I get it chopped off.
To my shoulders maybe. Or maybe even chin length. I frowned. Eh, no... I'd probably look even more feminine with my hair that short. I'd look.... kind of like an older version of Riku....
Riku...
I turned and raised an eyebrow. He wasn't standing outside my door anymore. He'd most likely gone back to his own room. I'd momentarily found something to preoccupy myself with. But now it was gone. I was back to thinking about Cloud. How much I missed him. And how much I missed having sex.
With him.
And only him.
I rolled over onto my back and tried to smother myself with my pillow for a moment. I realized that it would hurt to much to put myself out of my misery like that and opted for tossing fluffy article across the room. The pillow hit the wall with a dull thump.
What to do now?
I sat up and looked expectantly around my room. My eyes landed on the phone for a moment. I shook my head to force those thoughts away again. I still had no clue what I was going to say to Cloud anyway. When my eyes passed over my digital clock I noted it was about 8 o'clock at night. There was really nothing else left for me to do now but go to bed. I'd made dinner about 2 hours ago. Riku sat silently during dinner as well. What was up with that kid now?
I was tempted to go and see what he was up too for a moment.
I dismissed that thought quickly. I was not going to trap myself by chancing a visit into his personal domain. No way.
I'm going to take a shower.
Then go to bed.....
I'm kind of tired anyway.
------
Riku
------
I listened closely to Seph's movements out in the hall. He sounded like he was mumbling and grumbling into his pillow for a minute. I wanted to laugh, but didn't want to give myself away. I'd been... watching him for the past few days now. Just studying him. To see what he'd do next. It kind of seemed like he was avoiding me.
Maybe he was afraid I'd come on to him again.
I guess I can't really blame him.
It's hard not to be attracted to Seph. Just looking into his eyes... It's like he's silently beckoning you to come closer. It feels like he's sucking you into some elaborate and very erotic trap. I can't help but be enticed.
I want to get closer to him.
I wish he'd talk more about himself. I really only know only about what I asked him a few days ago. He never really elaborates on things. Maybe I should just write down all of the questions I have for him, and tell him to answer them. I wonder if he would.
Maybe I'm prying to much.
I really, really want to know about this whole issue with him being in the military though. That had been one of the really important questions I'd wanted to ask back when I gave him an interrogation. But I'd faltered. Seph... didn't seem to apt to discuss his past, especially his sexual history, so I didn't press the issue. I do know that his elusive roommate/lover was involved in it though. Very closely involved.
I forced myself to just let those thoughts drop and made my way back to my room. I just sat there in the dark for a long time before I head Seph's foot steps down the hall. I thought at first, that he was coming to my room. But then his steps grew farther away in sound and I heard the bathroom door click shut. I could always tell when the bathroom door was being closed. The bathroom, was the only room in the whole apartment that lacked any semblance of fancy decor. It only had the bare essentials. Towels, soap, shampoo, a small carpet on the floor, and other bathroom things. The lack of furnishing caused the bathroom to be really empty and have an echo. An echo that resounded down the hall whenever the bathroom door was closed.
Seph was in the bathroom. A moment later, I heard the shower start up.
I left my room.
I knew he'd be in there for a while. A while as in... hours. Seph had this long drawn out process he went through when he took a shower. Mostly due to his hair being so long. I watched him do it once when he let me. He actually had to wash, shampoo, all of the silvery silky stuff before he got in the shower. Section by section. It was something he did every other day too. He'd start from the roots of his waist length tresses then work his way down to the ends. This whole process in itself took about an hour. And he washed his hair twice before repeating with conditioner. I used to think sometimes the Seph was a bit vain. But I found out later that, he just really didn't have anything else to do. And he like playing in his own hair.
I took the time looking around his room. I hadn't really been in here much in the last few days. It still looked the same. Nothing new at all. Not really.
I went and laid down in the bed and snuggled into the blankets. For some reason, Seph's bed seemed so much more comfortable then my own. It wasn't so stiff. It had lots of nice soft spots to curl into. I sat up abruptly and stared down that mattress. My mind had taken a turn towards the gutter. Hahahaha, lots of dents in the mattress. I know what those are from. *giggle*
*Sigh*
I miss Sora....
Hmm... Maybe I should chance making a phone call while Seph's in the shower. I jumped out of the bed and headed towards the phone on the opposite side of where I was. Why hadn't I thought of this before. All of those times I was alone in the apartment. I could have called Sora a long time ago. Duh, Riku!
I couldn't help but smile in anticipation. I was just about to grab the phone, when something else literally grabbed my attention.
A tattered and worn old book. Kind of looked like a over stuffed journal.
Hmm.
Lots of random thoughts started to run through my head then. Was this Sephs old diary maybe. No wait. That sounded too feminine. I couldn't see Seph keeping a daily archive of what goes on in his life... at least not in a place so openly located. Maybe it was an old school notebook or something. Wonder why he'd keep something like that though.
I let my fingers graze over the tattered and cracked cover or what I'm sure used to be a laminated hardcover. It felt old. And worn. Full of memories. Full of... the past.
I smiled and found myself opening the cover just slightly. The anticipation of possibly learning something about my 'guardian's' past was extremely strong. I couldn't wait to read the first page.
I paused....
Wait...
This was wrong....
I shouldn't be prying. I had no right to read Seph's personal journals. He probably just forgot to put it back in it's hiding spot.
I should just leave it alone and go back to my room.
I should....
I squinted and went ahead to fully open the cover of the book. I was greeted with an arrangement of old photos meticulously placed on the page. Little notes were written under each on. The year it was taken, where, and who was in the picture. One picture in particular caught my eye. It wasn't the photo itself that I recognized, it was the people in it. Or... at least one person.
He looked about my age....Shorter hair, no scar,... And he was smiling.
*insert twilight zone music here*
It's Leon.... Back when he was Squall....
I glanced quickly at the, afraid the Seph might come out of the bathroom at any moment and catch me snooping. My better, and certain, judgment scoffed. Yeah right, it had only been barely 15 minutes since he went in the bathroom. I had plenty of time... Unless he forgot something.
I should quite while I'm ahead.
I started to close the journal and just walk away. But I couldn't help but wonder, it was more like a nagging pull at my gut, why would Seph have Leon's old journal in his possession? What was he doing with it anyway? I wonder if Cloud knew about this....
I felt a frown crease my brow. I suddenly felt like I'd been left out of a very important, very crucial, circle of information. There was something in this books pages that I should know about. It was a window into Leon's past.
I was so not ready for the secrets written on this journals pages....
------
Sephiroth
------
I threw my now damp hair over my shoulder and rubbed my scalp for a moment. My hair felt really heavy not that it was completely wet. The thought of getting it cut again crossed my mind. I stared at my reflection in the mirror over the sink for a moment. I guess I wouldn't look so bad with shorter hair. It would take some getting used too. But it would eliminate this 3 hours long process of keeping my waist length hair maintained. It was a tedious task that I usually did to keep myself occupied. Normally I just washed my hair once every few days and left it alone.
I fingered a few strands and watched them curl up as they dried. You know... my hair is actually naturally wavy. Just imagine me with long silvery loose curls all over my head. Yeah.... I'd really look like a women. I had to blow dry my hair straight to keep it from getting wavy. Another tedious task.
I shrugged for not real reason and stripped out of my pants and underwear. I'd taken off my shirt along time ago to keep it from getting wet while I groomed my tresses. I'd managed to completely soak my bathroom rug too... Well, now I had something to do later. Wash my rugs.
My life is so pathetic.
If only Cloud where here.
I turned on the tube faucet and adjusted the water temperature. I shivered from the feel of hot water on my finger tips, and the tickle of my icy cold strands of hair on my back and shoulders. It was an odd but pleasant sensation to be honest. I turned on the shower head and climbed in the shower stall, pulling the curtains as I went. The steam instantly filled the bathroom and shower area. I closed my eyes and let the hot water run over me. I felt a lot of stress simply wash away with the water.
Hmmmm. Felt so nice. I tilted my head back under the spray of water and felt a chill run down my spine. My scalp tingled from the sudden change in temp. That felt oddly nice too. All of these different sensations would have been great to share with Cloud. I could only imagine how much better I'd be feeling right now if his hands were playing all over me. Another, but strangely warmer, chill? Ran up my body. It started from my groin though. That was really nice. I think I'll think about Cloud some more.
I was barely diving into my fantasies when I heard the distinct click of the bathroom door opening. I cursed myself of not locking it as I thought I should have earlier. I knew it was Riku coming in so I wasn't worried. At least..... not about a possible intruder lurking outside the shower curtain. I was a bit worried that Riku might peek into the shower though, and see it wasn't just my hair that I was tending to.
I have the biggest hard on right now.
Awww.... just when my thoughts of Cloud were getting so nice and detailed.
Down boy.... Down...
What the hell is Riku doing anyway?
I started to look out of the shower and ask him what was wrong. I thought quickly against it though since I had yet to really get control over the lower half/midsection of my body... part....
Seriously Riku... go away. Now!
I couldn't really tell what Riku was doing through the clear, as in see right through, showe curtain I had. the bathroom was really steamy now too. I could make out his blue pajamas in the dim haze though. He wasn't moving. Just standing there, facing the shower. I could tell that at least.
He stood there for a long time. Not saying a word. Then I saw him walk up the shower curtain and put the palm of his hands against it. His finger tips pressed into the layer of plastic and leaned in towards me. My eyes narrowed of their own accord. I noticed once again that I still had a raging hard on.
Riku, from what I could tell, was pressing his face into the plastic. I could make out the shape of his lips and nose in the film. His hands started to run up and down the shower curtain in a rhythmic circular pattern. I found myself raising my hands to follow his lead. Even through the plastic I could feel how cool his skin was compared to the hot water and steam in the air. I leaned in, without really thinking about it, and put my lips to his through the curtain. They felt just as soft through the clear barrier as they had when he forced them on my a few days ago.
Riku backed away suddenly and I let my hands fall to my sides. I watched him through the curtain again saw him moving. I could clearly tell that he was taking his clothes off. I let him get his pants off before I tore back the shower curtain, my modesty forgotten, and leveled the 17 year old with a intense stare. Riku was naked, as in, no underwear either, from the waist down. He had his shirt down to 4 buttons, revealing his smooth chest and slightly curved abdomen. I could even see his navel. His face was flushed and his skin was shiny. I knew he was burning up in the cotton shirt in all of this hot steam. I knew he wanted to strip so he could cool off. I knew....
He wanted me...
But I had to ask.
"What do you want?"
It wasn't a question directed at anything in particular. I really thought, naively, that maybe he just needed something or had something to tell me. I watched his cheeks turn 4 shades of red before his full pouty lips spoke so very softly;
"I want you."
I raised my arms.
"Here I am." I said in a low voice. And sighed when Riku's lips met mine in a heated and incredibly passionate kiss.
The water tasted so good on him. So much more pure.
------
Tim
------
I liked it.... Only for a little while...
But even still...
I'm just as bad as he is...
I enjoyed being hurt.... Being taken like that...
How can I ever... tell this to my parents...
They'll hate me forever...
------
Cloud
------
Still no call. Still no response. For goodness sake.... How many times did I have to let the phone ring before Seph picked up.
I was on my 10 call to his place in the last 4 minutes.... This was driving me crazy. Was he avoiding me on purpose? I got the answering machine again and hung up the phone. I was at my wits end at this point.
I felt nervous... worried... suspicious. All of those feelings were making me feel ill...
What was going on over there? What was so important in Seph's life right now that he couldn't answer the phone?
I knew the answer to that question before I finished thinking it up.
It was Riku. He had Seph's immediate attention. He was over there, in Sephs's line of sight almost 24/7. There was no way I could compete when I wasn't even physically in Seph's view. I was tempted to go over there right now. But I looked at the clock and noted it was about 11 at night. It would be pointless to make my way over there this late at night. Besides, Seph and Riku were probably asleep by now.
Asleep together....?
Sora's words were bothering me. In more ways then one really. I was still thinking about the way he so clearly described how it was to have sex with Sephiroth. He said it almost like he had really experienced it himself. Then he mentioned how Riku and Seph were so much alike, in appearance and almost in personality..... Would they somehow click and.... get together behind my back.... Those two.... practically radiated sex from their pores... There was nothing there to stop them from acting out on any kind of secret desire they may have been fostering for each other. Especially in Riku's case. And if what Sora said is true about Riku getting back at him... for Sora sleeping with Leon....
I think I'm going to just die....
I trust Seph. And I trust Riku. I have to keep faith in them that they won't let things get too out of hand. That they will control themselves no matter what the situation.
And I know Seph... won't let anything... happen...
That he would never hurt me... like that....
------
Sephiroth
------
Riku practically had me pinned against the wall of the shower. His hands were roaming free, touching, testing, stroking, every part of me he could grasp without have to look. More then once his finger tips brushed my painfully hard arousal and I had to stop kissing him just to breath without choking on inhaled water. He was being so forceful, so passionate, that my head was spinning. All of this pent up energy in such a small boy.
My mind was screaming to me that this was so wrong. So very, very wrong.
But my body kept on going, kept on encouraging Riku to continue. And I could tell, and feel, he was just a turned on as I was. Riku's hips kept bucking every time his member pressed into my inner thigh, or my hand just grazed it while I stroked and caresses his slightly curvy hips. Riku was still in his pajamas shirt, and it was plastered, almost sucking, onto his skin. I could feel a very different type of heat radiating from him through the drenched clothe. His nipples were so hard I could see the pink flesh right through the almost transparent blue of his clothing. I let myself get pulled into another heated tongue tangle and I realized I'd actually let Riku get away with French kissing me.
His mouth was so sweet. So hot....
I pulled him closer to me and deepened our already breathless kiss. I don't know why I suddenly felt inclined to ravage this absolutely gorgeous boy. Something in me had cracked, something extremely fragile. I couldn't resist anymore...
I came to conclusion to something I'd been denying for a while.... Since I'd first met Riku at 7th Heaven actually.
I wanted this boy.
From the moment I learned his name and saw that such a pretty face when along with the 4 letter word.
I've wanted him.
My body wanted him.
I should have never allowed myself to be alone this long with Riku....
I fought back a gasp when Riku finally took me in his hand and started to stroke slowly. He was smiling up at me and running his free hand over my chest. I leaned forward and licked his swollen red lips, tasting them again, and sighed. It was like.. drinking warm green tea from some reason. With lots of sugar in it.
Riku tasted so good. And that was just his lips.
I stroked his wet hair and started to kiss down his cheek, to his long slender neck, and across his shoulder. A soft moan wisped past his lips into my ears and groaned deep in my throat. Riku's hand tightened around me at the same moment as well. I had to fight down and very pleasure filled gasp. I was normally, fairly quiet when I was having sex.... But this hadn't even gotten as far as sex yet. It was just foreplay. I wanted to moan really loud every time Riku ran his fingers up and down me.
I was so out of control...
I ripped the last 4 buttons of Riku's shirt off and tossed the heavy piece of fabric out side the bathtub. The shower curtain was still wide open, the floor was getting extremely wet, but I really found myself not even caring anymore.
All I cared about was the person in front of me.
This gorgeous living little wet dream.
Riku.
Riku tilted his head back to kiss me on the lips one more time before he started kissing across my collar bone. I let my head lull back against the shower wall and closed my eyes. Riku was slowly making his way down my torso, to my navel, just below my navel....
I didn't hold back the gasp that forced its way through my lips this time. It was so sudden, what Riku did, that I couldn't do more then just.... encourage him to go faster by cradling his head with my hands. Riku took his time. Dragging out each and every motion until my knees were practically bucking under me. I caught myself on the wall and looked down. My groin tightened just at the sight of what Riku was doing to me.
I was also slightly amazed at how good he was at this....
Riku pulled back and looked up at me, his eyes half lidded, but twinkling. I ran my thumb over his lips and pulled him back up to me so we could kiss again. What ever inhibitions I had about not going to far with him earlier.. had completely vanished now....
I wanted Riku so bad....
My arousal was painfully pressing into my abdomen, reminding me of just how bad I really wanted to go on with Riku to the final stages of this erotic encounter.
If I didn't do something soon I was going to.... splatter all over him....
That sounded so... dirty...
Riku looked down at our members and smiled. He was just as turned on as I was. He rubbed my hair out of my face and once again presses his moist full lips into mine. Our tongues danced for a while until he pulled back, leaned over the turn of the water, looked back at me and said two words that.....Cloud.... just.... could never say the same way no matter how hard he tried....
"Fuck me."
I practically hoisted Riku up on my shoulder and carried him back to my room. I didn't mind the fact that I'd tracked water all the way over 1000 dollar rugs, I didn't mind that my water bill for this day alone would be 3 pages long....
All I cared about was Riku.
Riku had grabbed some dry towels sometime along the trek back to my room. I spread one of them out along the bed, Riku still over my shoulder, before I gently laid him down. His wet hair framed his head like a pool of silky sliver and I crawled over him to start another series of kisses and licks. He was giggling into my mouth like a girl and I couldn't help but chuckle back. He kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, and let his hands roam over my sides and back almost like he was feeling me for the first time. The air in the room was cold, but I felt really, really warm at that moment.
Riku was so beautiful.
Almost, angelic beautiful.
I buried my face into his flowering smelling wet tresses and took a breath. Riku smelled so pure, so clean, so.... innocent...
I pulled back and looked down at him. He smiled lovingly up at me and reached up to touch my cheek. My heart was starting to ache for some odd reason....
"Seph." Riku breathed.
The ache subsided just slightly and I gestured for Riku to move up further onto the bed. He did so and rested his head on the many pillows. I leaned over to reach my nightstand and opened the drawer. Riku watched me with a slight gleam of anticipation in his deep aqua marine eyes. I bit back and soft moan from how hard it was to keep being patient. I was really pushing my will power to it's limits.
I got the condom and lubricant out and went to work. I was about to tear open the silver little package when Riku stopped me with a touch of his hand to my shoulder. He looked deep into my eyes and said;
"Let me do it." His voice shook.
I hand the condom to him and watched him tear it open with a slight pull of his teeth on the plastic. He looked down between us, after wrapping his long slender legs around my waist, and blushed. He seemed to notice just now.... how endowed I was. I waited patiently for him to continue. He blushed the entire time he rolled the condom up, then I let him apply the lube. He was pretty good at the preparation part. I hissed when he ran his thumb over my tip and pulled me into him. I noted vaguely, that he wasn't going to give me a chance to prepare him.
"Riku..." I said softly and he rose his eyes up to look in my face. He looked suddenly very scared. I noticed he'd been watching where I'd ultimately penetrate his body with a bit of hesitation. He didn't seem to sure about this anymore. I frowned.
"Go..." Riku started as he took a deep shuddery breath. "Go... slow okay..."
I nodded at leaned over to kiss him. as a means of distraction. I felt him tense and went even slower. I was pressing only slightly into him and a pained, almost frightened whimper escaped his lips. I was about to pull away, bothered by how scared he sounded, but Riku wouldn't have it. He wrapped his arms around my neck and kept me positioned. I started again....
"Please go slow..." I heard him breath. This time, his voice sounded terrified. I reached behind my neck and loosened his grip. I sat back, Riku's legs still around my waist, and looked him in the eyes.
"You can say 'stop', Riku." I said softly. Soothingly. I wasn't going to take this any further anyway. I hadn't intended too in the first place.
I'd lost my desire to sleep with Riku the moment he asked to 'fuck him' in the shower.
I was done after he uttered those words. I just had to find the right moment to stop. I had to see how far he'd let this go before the decided he didn't really want to do it anymore.
"....I'm sorry...." Riku gasped and turned too look away from me. I gently dislodged his legs from around my waist and went to lay beside him. I absently removed the condom and tossed it in the waist basket on the side of my bed. So much for that...
Riku had actually been ready to go all the way....
Didn't he feel bad about cheating on Sora?
I felt bad for even considering going all the way just now with Riku.... I felt awful actually. Not because Riku was a kid and really didn't know what he was doing, although that was part of it. I felt the most anger at myself because I'd almost let things get out of hand myself. Riku snapped me out of it with 2 little vulgar words.
Cloud said the same thing to me the last time we made love. But those words weren't dirty coming from his lips. I wasn't just fucking him.
I loved Cloud.
I didn't love Riku.
At all.
"It's alright Riku."
Riku had balled up on his side, his back to me, and was sobbing silently to himself. I got out of the bed and went to get clothes to put on. I gave Riku a pair of my pajamas. After we dressed we sat in silence for a moment. I looked at the clock. It was exactly 1:30 am.
"Riku." I started and he stopped messing in his damp hair to look at me slightly. He looked completely embarrassed with himself for what had just happened barely 10 minutes ago. He was surprised at himself I knew. Hell... I was surprised with myself too...
This was going to be so much fun retelling to Cloud... The kisses... no big deal... The touching... pushing it... The blow job and almost actual penetration....
I think I need to wear a bullet proof vest....
"Get dressed." I said. I didn't give any further explanation at that moment. I could see the fear in Riku's eyes towards my attitude though. He must think I'm mad at him about something.
He didn't have to ask. I told him.
"We're going to Cloud's house."
I thought that would make him happy. To hear he'd get to see Sora in a matter of minutes. But the look I saw flash briefly across his face mirrored my own. We were both in trouble.
We were doomed....
But maybe.... Considering how much Sora and Cloud loved us. We might get off with being their slaves for oh say.... the next 5 years....
To be continued
Author's notes-
Weird chapter. Well... to me it was anyway. Leon's part in particular was very difficult to write. Ack! If your confused, GOOD, you should be. You think things are resolved, you think Leon's back to his old self? Think again! Things are far worse now then before. Pay close attention to what Leon says about Seifer in his POV. Re-read if you have to. So, who saw that twist coming along, hmm, hmm? Anybody. Did you guys see Tim being mutilated beyond identifiable reasoning? I'm far to much of sinister B!TCH to let that happen. It's so much more complicated then that. *evil laughter* OH, And Sora. Crazy little (insert vulgar name calling here) isn't he? He just completely played on Cloud's weakness didn't he. Poor Cloud. He'll get to have fun next issue. Can you guys feel the tension yet? Part of the reason why I waited so long to put this chapter up was because I wanted to build up the suspense factor in the readers. I know you guys are just itching to see Cloud and Seph go at. They will, through yelling, screaming, and then make up sex. :P Cloud's about to find out just how loyal old Sephy really is. It's not a pretty sight. And Riku and Sora.... man... all I can say is that their scene is really fucked up. You will be mad at me, for writing such cruel things, and both of them, for feeling those cruel things, afterwards. Oh yeah, Wasn't Seph and Riku's shower scene H-O-T!! Fan service galore in this chapter. Thankfully it has to do with the plot. I am very much tempted to draw some of the scenes in this chapter out. If you guys are interested, drop a hint at what you like to see rendered out from Innocence Corrupted and I'll get right on it. It's bought time for me to do a 'Thanks for #### of hit's' pic anyway. Cid, Aeris, and Yuffie all make an appearance next chapter as well. As always, thank you to all of my readers for your continued and loyal support. Lots to look forward too.