THE PURPOSE: The purpose of this fanfiction is to strike out against any and all authors who think they know how to write. In a few moments, you are about to delve into the work known as YU-GI-OH! FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES. This stupid hunk of prose is designed to instruct, with thoughtful, brief examples, what NOT to do when writing a fanfiction. I chose Yu-Gi-Oh as my guinea pig because...well, because I'm the author! And thus the reason a bad author should read this. If ya loves it, review. If ya hates it, review. If ya don'ts care, review anyway.
By Helldragon4000
CHAPTER TWO: Bad Plots of Land
The wise author realizes that a poorly constructed plot, usually focused around unnecessary or illogical situations, is only suitable for a TV movie.
Yugi was walking to school one day with his friends Joey, Tristan, and Tea. The other three were busy chatting happily about the now past summer vacation, but Yugi was worried. He did that a lot. It was natural to be worried a lot-Yugi's grandpa even told the boy so, and he was really old, and thus knew a lot. Yugi worried about too much in his life. This he knew already. First off, he was a teenager, so that was a novel in itself. Secondly, he had an ingrown toenail, which he was reminded about every passing moment as he stepped on the toe. Of course, one had to step on this toe if one was to walk, so Yugi had to bear the pain. His friends had symphatized with him and Joey had offered to pick the toenail loose with a fork, but Yugi declined. No matter how much he was friends with Joey, he would never let the boy get near his foot with a fork in hand. No, Yugi was far more intellegent than the others had preceived him to be. Why, when he was eight-
A sharp sound, and Tristan had cleared his throat. Yugi shook his head rapidly to clear his head. He turned a violet eye to the sky, to the steady sheets of snow it was beginning to produce. He shouldn't worry so much. After all, he had the spirit of the Millenium Puzzle to help him through trouble, as well as his faithful friends.
Tea was also looking into the sky, her arms wrapped tightly around her school uniform. "Ugh! How did it get this cold?"
Joey shrugged. "Da weather's a bitch."
"Like you," Tristan concluded. And so, he and Joey immediately grappled as they always did. Yugi and Tea sighed in exasperation as the two long-time friends wrestled and spouted colorful insults at each other. The enitre group was about to turn a corner when, out of the blue, they met Bakura.
"Bakura!" Yugi exclaimed. "What's the matter?"
The white-haired boy was panting in exhaustion, but he also appeared excited. "I found some fireworks! Come see!"
"Fireworks! Cool!" shouted Joey. Immediately, the foursome followed their friend down the street, only to turn into a dark alleyway. At the end of this alleyway was a gigantic heap of fireworks of all different shapes and sizes, of different lineages and whatnot.
"Where did you find all of these fireworks?" Tristan asked.
Bakura beamed. "I found them in a trashcan! Neat, huh?"
"Does anyone 'ave some matches?" Joey asked the group as a whole.
"Here," said Tea, handing the blond-haired youth a matchbox. And so, the group began their fun. Yugi was quickly searching through the pile for bottle rockets, for those were his favorite, since one could light twelve at a time with one spark. Joey had discovered some smokebombs, and was now lobbing some at Tristan, who retaliated with silver disks that shot in the air when lit. Bakura was busy playing with some sparklers, and the five quickly forgot the fact that they had to go to school. But after a while, they remembered their purpose, and after stashing the entire supply of firecrackers into Bakura's backpack, were on the road again.
"It's a good thing no one saw us," mentioned Tristan.
"Or heard us!" said Tea.
Suddenly, out of that infamous thin air, a person garbed in black robes stood in the path of the five. He was not very eager to move out of the way. Or at all, since when Joey waved his hand and smacked the man upside his head, the person did not respond.
"Who da hell's this?" Joey snorted.
"Well," Bakura said, gripping his chin with his hand, "judging by his ominous nature and expansive black robe...I have no clue."
"I wonder what he's thinking," mumbled Yugi, looking up into the man's obsidian hood.
"I'm thinking that I must duel you, Yugi Moto!" the man responded.
"AUGH!" Tristan yelled.
Suddenly, the man threw back his hood, revealing a face wrapped in thick glasses and clustered with many pimples. Yugi was instantly shocked that a typical nerd would desire to duel him. "I am called Fantastic Four-Eyes," the man intoned, "and I challenge you to a duel, Yugi Moto!"
"NO! WAIT!" The entire gathering turned to look down the street as Matt Willard ran toward them. "I'll duel you, Four Eyes! The fates have decreed it so!"
Now, what was wrong in this chapter?
A. The group followed Bakura even though they had to go to school.
B. Yugi spent too much time thinking about worrying.
C. Four Eyes needs pimple cream.
If you guessed C, you're right! Clearisol would work wonders for the man...
Tune in next time to YU-GI-OH! FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES, when we delve into Chapter Three: What Would You Do If You Were Omnipotent?