THE PURPOSE: The purpose of this fanfiction is to strike out against any and all self-centered authors who think they know how to write. In a few moments, you are about to delve into the work known as YU-GI-OH! FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES. This stupid hunk of prose is designed to demonstrate, with thoughtful, brief examples, what NOT to do when writing a fanfiction. I chose Yu-Gi-Oh as my guinea pig because...well, because I'm the author! And thus the reason a bad author should read this. If ya loves it, review. If ya hates it, review. If ya don'ts care, review anyway.
A/N: Ah, it's time for the insidious test! I hope you studied, because my Martial Boot Of Discipline is ready for some action!
Hey, people, if you hadn't already, which you SHOULD, go read Invader Sam's "The Gathering", the highly anticipated sequel to The Egyptian Tournament! Big ups to ya, guys!
By The Helldragon
MIDTERM EXAM ONE
Now that you have read about several symptoms of bad fanfiction, let's see what you know. This midterm exam covers events illustrated in Chapters One through Ten. For each question, choose the answer that best solves the problem presented.
1. Why is Adolf Hitler unrealistic as a villian?
A. He has been given an Millenium Item that rewards him unsurpassed powers.
B. It's been done before! Hello?
C. He actually hired that greasy faggot Fantastic Four-Eyes.
2. What was the problem with the discovery of fireworks?
A. Fireworks simply do not sit unattended in an alleyway.
B. You can't discover fireworks! They've already been invented!
C. It's not the Japanese New Year.
3. What is the best reason that Matt fought Fantastic Four Eyes particularly?
A. The author needed to establish the dueling strength of the unimportant character.
B. The author wanted to demonstrate the importance of cleaning and maintaining one's skin.
C. We don't need no fuckin' reason!
4. How could Sarah improve her sentence structure and grammar?
A. She could take a summer's worth of speech and proper English courses.
B. If she acquired a mechanical instant-English corrector machine, she'd be right as rain.
C. Kick that dumbass yami outta here!
5. Is Duke Devlin politically correct?
A. No.
B. Yes.
C. A jar of almonds.
6. What's with the magical destroyer beam cannon?
A. Matt was stunned that such a powerful creature like Hart did not possess such a ability.
B. The author has a queer fascination with such abilities.
C. What's with pants?
7. Say, in one word, the level of importance of Kai's duel with Ralaxia.
A. Unneeded.
B. Cool.
C. In one word, the level of importance of Kai's duel with Ralaxia.
8. What was so special about the Rarity Seeker Yugi defeated to obtain Dragon Right?
A. He was a cannibal.
B. He was a carbon-copy of a Rare Hunter.
C. He was Alice Cooper.
9. Why was cheese mentioned in Chapter Nine?
A. The author wished to illustrate that the characters retained a sort of light-heartedness even in turmoil.
B. Cheese is an important dairy product, and is useful in making little cheese cubes.
C. Many cheap jokes about cutting the cheese could have been said.
10. What attack does Szarbarus use on Matt?
A. Miller Lite Maelstrom.
B. Governer's Grope.
C. I Need An Attack Name Attack.
That's it! And now, because I trust you not to lie on your quizzes, here are the answers.
#1-The answer is C. I've known people as ugly as Four Eyes. I KNOW.
#2-The answer is B. Unless, of course, you were to make some sort of time machine.
#3-The answer is C. For obvious reasons.
#4-The answer is A. But then again, that takes too much work. I'll accept B.
#5-The answer is C. Almonds are good.
#6-The answer is C. Who needs 'em?
#7-The answer is A. Keep in mind that Matt wanted to duel her.
#8-The answer is C. You never know...
#9-The answer is A. The story's called "humor" for a reason, ya know.
#10-The answer is A. No one can truly forget sweet beer dropping onto them.
Scoring:
10 Correct: Congratulations! You know all about this fic! In fact, you're so good, you should keep reading and teach your stupid peers what they don't already know! What a great way to fill those meaningless evenings!
9-7 Correct: You're well versed in bad fanfiction. But, it won't do you much harm to do some review. Then again, it won't do you much harm to have a little sip at the bottle now and then, but there ya go.
6-4 Correct: You know some stuff about bad fanfiction. But you ain't gonna let them 7 to 10s taunt you, huh? Hell no, you ain't! Work hard, and insult their asses with your knowledge!
3-1 Correct: You have learned nothing in my one-hour class! Do you want to fail this class? Well, TOO BAD if ya want to get out! I want a fifteen-page report on the history of bad literature, on my desk, TODAY!
Now that's you're done, it's back to the books we go! Tune in next time to YU-GI-OH! FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES, when we collide head-on with Chapter Eleven: Battle of the Bitching Bitches!