I own nothing, Not even myself. sigh. No offence to J. K. Rowling in this
chapter. On with the story!
Harry Potter and the Meaning of Life
Book Six
Chapter Five
Harry some how found himself on board the Hogwarts Express in a compartment with Ron, his best buddy, Hermione, the nerdy friend and to Harry's secret joy, Ginny.
"So, Harry," began Hermione, un-naturally politely, "how have your holidays been?"
"They were great," replied Harry, "until Tonks came and made me stay in Diagon Alley with stupid nosy aurors everywhere." He sighed. "How were yours?"
"Well," Hermione answered, "mine began when..."
Harry stopped listening. He was bored already...
"...hot, wild, unprotected, jungle-sex"
"What!?!" Harry tuned in again.
"I said 'I was staying with Viktor, when I walked in on him having hot, wild, unprotected, jungle-sex with a random fan girl'." Hermione sounded angry.
"That's some goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood shit!"
Everyone looked at Ron.
"What?" he said, with an odd pipe sticking out of his mouth. It looked similar to the one Fred had.
"Hmm," hmmed Harry, breaking the silence, "what happened then Hermione?"
"Logically I dumped him-" responded Hermione but she was cut tragically short when...
"-Leaving you available to join me," came Draco's familiar drawling voice. Draco stepped into the compartment -without Crabbe and Goyle- with a whole bunch of under-dressed girls.
"Have you gone pi-mp?" asked Harry, his voice breaking on the word 'pimp'.
"Yes Potter," replied Draco, trying desperately not to laugh.
"It's not funny," cried Ginny, in Harry's defence.
"Aw," said Draco, "Potter has to get his 'girlfriend' to stand up for him."
"Shut up," spat Ginny, "I haven't read about your voice breaking either."
Draco went red and left, with his girls, muttering rude comments about J. K. Rowling.
Luna Lovegood entered with Neville. Everyone groaned, except Ron.
"Ron," said Luna, conspicuously, "how much do you want?"
"She's your supplier!" yelled Neville.
"Yeah," said Ron.
"I get mine off Malfoy."
Everyone gasped.
"He's a pimp and a drug dealer?" asked Ron.
"Yeah," answered Neville.
"Luna," said Ron, "rack off."
Luna stormed out of the compartment.
The train stopped.
"We're there," commented Hermione.
"Well, it's here, now," corrected Harry.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him.
Harry Potter and the Meaning of Life
Book Six
Chapter Five
Harry some how found himself on board the Hogwarts Express in a compartment with Ron, his best buddy, Hermione, the nerdy friend and to Harry's secret joy, Ginny.
"So, Harry," began Hermione, un-naturally politely, "how have your holidays been?"
"They were great," replied Harry, "until Tonks came and made me stay in Diagon Alley with stupid nosy aurors everywhere." He sighed. "How were yours?"
"Well," Hermione answered, "mine began when..."
Harry stopped listening. He was bored already...
"...hot, wild, unprotected, jungle-sex"
"What!?!" Harry tuned in again.
"I said 'I was staying with Viktor, when I walked in on him having hot, wild, unprotected, jungle-sex with a random fan girl'." Hermione sounded angry.
"That's some goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood shit!"
Everyone looked at Ron.
"What?" he said, with an odd pipe sticking out of his mouth. It looked similar to the one Fred had.
"Hmm," hmmed Harry, breaking the silence, "what happened then Hermione?"
"Logically I dumped him-" responded Hermione but she was cut tragically short when...
"-Leaving you available to join me," came Draco's familiar drawling voice. Draco stepped into the compartment -without Crabbe and Goyle- with a whole bunch of under-dressed girls.
"Have you gone pi-mp?" asked Harry, his voice breaking on the word 'pimp'.
"Yes Potter," replied Draco, trying desperately not to laugh.
"It's not funny," cried Ginny, in Harry's defence.
"Aw," said Draco, "Potter has to get his 'girlfriend' to stand up for him."
"Shut up," spat Ginny, "I haven't read about your voice breaking either."
Draco went red and left, with his girls, muttering rude comments about J. K. Rowling.
Luna Lovegood entered with Neville. Everyone groaned, except Ron.
"Ron," said Luna, conspicuously, "how much do you want?"
"She's your supplier!" yelled Neville.
"Yeah," said Ron.
"I get mine off Malfoy."
Everyone gasped.
"He's a pimp and a drug dealer?" asked Ron.
"Yeah," answered Neville.
"Luna," said Ron, "rack off."
Luna stormed out of the compartment.
The train stopped.
"We're there," commented Hermione.
"Well, it's here, now," corrected Harry.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him.