Summary: I decided to do something different for this chapter, but it took on a really evil turn. At first, I thought, what if our Mommy Cordy had become Queen C again. (Post-Xander Cordy: season three BtvS) (Like in "Spin the Bottle") but it twisted on me before I knew what happened.
Rated: R for rape. It's not graphic, but it really doesn't have to be. It's horrible in and of itself. Once I get to that section, grammar and speech patterns will change become fragmented and fixated. Hopefully, they'll make sense to you.
And YES…There is a reference to a very popular Movie/Comic Book in this story. (One of the characters.)
PS: The Bastard = Lindsey McDonald. (Cordy hates him)
This Year
By: Sensue
Chapter Seven: April (Cordy's POV)
April 7, 2004.
Memories have flooded my mind. Harmony, Aura, Aphrodite, the rest of the Cordettes. My gang—hell, most of them are either dead or extremely successful. I used to keep in touch, especially with Aura, but time, work, and a big family have kept me too busy to call any of my old friends. Too busy to even think of my high school days.
I never, ever would've thought that my life would be like this. I had imagined myself as an actress: rich, powerful, and beautiful. I looked down to see my mud covered sneakers, ripped jeans, and bleach stained sweatshirt. Well, one out of three isn't bad, right? Yes. I admit it, I still have my looks.
I studied the letter in my hands, the letter addressed to Cordelia Chase, not Cordelia Chase-Angel. I had thought it to be an April Fool's Joke as I read it a fourth time.
Dear Miss Chase and guest,
You are cordially invited to Sunnydale High School Class of 1999 Reunion on April 27 (5:30 pm)
The last graduating class of Sunnydale High School.
Please bring a guest and fond memories as we are looking forward to seeing you again.
As we obviously cannot go back to our Alma Mater for this special occasion,
The Reunion will be held in the wonderful city of Los Angeles.
The Hilton Hotel
12345 Anderson Ave.
Los Angeles, California 1111
Sincerely,
Aura Peterson
God, I don't have time for this. I don't have time to scratch my nose right now. What will everyone say when they see me? I mean, I heard Aura was now the CEO of a perfume company. Weird, 'cause in High School, she couldn't have picked a nice perfume to save her life. Her stuff always stunk. Harmony, well, she's a vampire, but at least she's still stylish. Aphrodite's probably married to a rich guy who spoils her.
And me—Well, I'm royalty! Except no one will believe me. All I am to them is a housewife, one who does the filing on the side for my husband's detective agency. Hell, it's been such a long time since I've had to think of impressing anyone that I'm rusty.
My main concerns right now revolve around my family and their well being. My son and his teenaged friend are deep into the fighting demons aspect of our job. Sometimes I think too deep. My daughter and godson are finally getting over the scare they had when they saw Lindsey McDonald for the first time after Connor had come back. Lindsey McDonald, that bastard is now living with us. He's under constant guard, but everyone is starting to accept him as a 'changed man.' Changed Man MY ASS! Everyone may be willing to forgive and forget him, but I'm not. I'm glad that he was cursed. Hell, I practically wished it. The moment that I found out he was alive, all I've wanted is him to feel the same kind of pain that I did. He stole my son from me, from my family and made him live in Hell for ten years. And now, my son is back with me. He's starting to be happy living with us. He's making friends. What he doesn't need is a friend like Lindsey McDonald. I don't want him here, in my home, with my family. But I promised Angel that I'd let it go.
I just wish it was that easy. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he'll change back. That he'll hurt us the minute we let our guard down. Faith isn't up to it anymore; she's having a hard time with this pregnancy. The poor girl can't keep anything down. Robin's focus is rightfully on her. Gunn, Andrea, Wesley, and Fred…well, I'm happy for them, very happy actually. They're getting married. They're planning the rest of their lives together. But their eyes aren't on Lindsey, they're on each other. Cathy, Connor, Harrison, and Nicky are just kids; they trust the adults in their lives to protect them. Right at this moment, it's down to Spike, Angel, Lorne, and me.
So there is no way in hell that I can take an evening off to gossip with my former high school gang. It's impossible. I fold up the letter and put it back in the envelope.
Brrring……
Brrring……
The phone ringing jars me from my thoughts. I throw the envelope on the counter, and pick up the phone, answering automatically: "Angel Investigations, we help the helpless. This is Cordy speaking. How can I help you today?" I asked this half-heartedly, my mind occupied now.
The man on the other end begging me for help, telling me about how he'd made a huge mistake: there was no way that he knew or else he'd never slept with that demon. He thought that she was a human, how was he to know that she was a shape-shifting demon. And to top it off, it had told him that she was pregnant with his child. There was no way that he could have a baby with that freak. Wasn't there anything they could do? "Can't you, I don't know, cut its head off or something? It is after all, a demon."
I was fuming. That fucking asshole wanted us to kill his pregnant ex-girlfriend. It reminded me of my first time, and I didn't like it. Why the hell did I sleep with Wilson Christopher? It was my first time, and to be honest, it wasn't all that good. I wished that I could've waited. The jerk seduced me with a couple of lines, and I fell for it. I was lonely, and I just wanted to feel wanted for once in my life. Instead, Wilson not only took my virginity, but left me pregnant with a horde of demon spawn. Listening to the asshole on the phone, I wanted to slam the phone down on him, but I was afraid that he'd call someone else to do his bidding.
I put on a fake smiley voice, similar to my high school days, and arrange for him to meet me at the hotel for a consultation in a half an hour. I took down his name (what kind of girly name is Sheridan anyway?) and his phone number. After I had gotten enough information to make sure that if he put out a hit, it'd be easy to trace him, I had said, "Have a nice day," then slammed the phone down hard. I left the pad on the desk as I walked around to the front.
I took a large deep breath. GOD! What an asshole. For once, I was glad to have the hotel to myself as I screamed my frustration out loud.
I was happy that the children were at school. I didn't want them around that man; he might infect them or something. Harrison and Connor had finally gotten their driver's licenses, and were driving Angel around while he yelled at them to stop hitting potholes from the trunk. Wesley, Fred, Gunn, and Andrea had made an appointment with a bridal consultant. Why they felt the need to use a bridal consultant was beyond me. I mean, I helped Faith with her wedding and everything turned out perfect. Spike and Lorne were at Caritas doing who-know-what. Those two are awfully secretive these days. Faith was out taking a walk, claiming that she needed some fresh air to keep from throwing up.
So it was just me then…and the bastard sleeping upstairs. He isn't locked up anymore, Angel and Spike let him walk around the hotel at his will. They keep telling me that he wouldn't hurt anyone. That he couldn't risk it, or it'll come back on him three times worse. I hope so, as I picked up the phone to make an important phone call.
After my phone call, I went into Wesley's office. Funny how it stayed Wesley's office. It was once Angel's, but after the beige period…it became Wesley's. Wesley became in charge. Angel is back to being in charge, but the office remained Wesley's. Angel's desk is next to mine, slightly more improved than the serving tray that it used to be. I reorganized the office, moving the books that littered the top of the desk to the empty shelves behind it. I picked up the coffee mugs, pens, sheets of paper, and disks to organize them in their appropriate areas. That Wesley…I think fondly.
I moved the chair in the corner in front of the desk and then quickly dusted off the tops of everything. With another breath, I ran upstairs to change into some professional attire. It's been a while since I've interviewed a client; usually I stay to the more active parts, preferring to work with Spike, Faith, Angel, and Gunn. Wesley, Fred, and Gunn usually interview the walk-in clients: the human ones anyway. Lorne and Spike usually handle the non-humans, although I must admit Faith is getting better in that role, when they get over fearing a slayer. I also handle the billing, something that used to give me the utmost pleasure; now, it's just a pain in the butt, especially if the clients can't afford to pay us. Well, the number one priority is helping the helpless, making money falls below that.
After I got dressed and cleaned up the office a little more, I made some coffee, and then sat down to center myself. Angel had taught me how, showing me some calming breathing techniques along with the tia chi. A short while later, the door chime rang and my jerk of a client: Sheridan Boyd walked in.
He was exactly as I expected: a player/lady's man who came from money that thought that the world revolved around him. And now that the jerk played the wrong woman, he's panicking. I shook his hand, immediately wanting to wipe it and motioned him to sit down in the chair.
He repeated what he had told me on the phone. I listened to him, trying to plan what I was going to tell him. I was hoping that he'd listen to reason. Once he'd finished his ridiculous explanation on how this wasn't his fault in anyway, it was time to put it into action.
"Well, Mr. Boyd. I'd say that you had a problem. But it's not one that Angel Investigations can handle. I think that you have to go to her and tell her how you feel. Perhaps she doesn't want to have the child either--."
"The child doesn't matter! Just the notion that I'd slept with a THING. God, it's disgusting. If my family ever found out, I'd be written out of the will. And if they found out that I'd fathered a half-breed. Well, I'd be disowned for sure. Listen. I can give you whatever you want. Any amount of money. Please, help me."
"Mr. Boyd, really. We can't help you. Money isn't the problem. I mean, you're a civilized man, you can talk to your girlfriend."
"She isn't my girlfriend! I told you, I just slept with her."
The door chimed again, letting in the woman in question. A few seconds later, she walked into Wesley's office. She was very beautiful. Long flowing blond hair, long legs, and perfect teeth. Her belly swelled with the baby. She must be about 8 months along.
Her voice though, was shrill, "Just slept with her! Just slept with me! Yeah. About thirty times! What was I to you? I thought that you loved me; you told me you loved me! Or was that just to get me in bed?"
Sheridan stood up quickly, jumping to his feet, "Misty? How'd you find me?"
Misty nodded towards me, "Mrs. Angel was kind enough to tell me what you had planned for me. So, you're hiring someone to kill me, huh? Kill our baby? Not man enough to do it yourself?" With that being said, she transformed into her demon visage. A blue demon with scales. Her clothing had also transformed so that she was naked.
"I didn't know that you were a, a thing! How could I love a freak like you?" Sheridan picked up the coffee mug and threw it at her. She expertly ducked it, her movement flowing and graceful, like the majority of her race.
In the blink of an eye, she was by his side, holding a knife at his throat.
"STOP!" I yelled at them. This isn't the way it was supposed to happen. She stopped, looking at me with her yellow eyes.
"Why? So he can kill me? So he can expose me? You should understand what it's like, you're a demon too. I can feel it in you. Don't you understand? It's men like him that give the human race a bad name. It's men like him that made me hate who I was and made me fear going to school as child. He deserves to pay." She looked at me, pleading with me to understand. I did.
"Misty, honey. Listen, I do understand. I understand what it's like, to go to school, having to pretend that you're a completely different person. Hating the person you pretended to be, but having no choice. But this isn't the answer. Please let him go. I'll help you. I won't let him hurt you or the baby. Just, go upstairs. I'll call the police. You can shape-shift back to a human. I have a tape." I went to the bookshelf behind us and stopped hidden tape player from recording. "I recorded his every word. Everything about him wanting you dead. He never said that you were a demon, he just kept calling you a thing or a freak. We don't even have to worry about exposure. I'll call the police and tell them that I caught a man trying to put a hit out on his pregnant girlfriend. He won't see the light of day, alright?"
She seemed to hesitate, the knife in her hands shaking slightly. Misty took a breath, "Alright. I'll do it." She pulled the knife away. Her entire body seemed to vibrate with stress and fear, but she did as I asked.
Misty turned away from Sheridan and left the office. I glared at Sheridan, the tape in my hand, then followed Misty up the stairs. I opened the nearest door and told her to relax. She sat on the bed and started crying. I felt my eyes start to water as I comforted her with a hug.
I left the room after a couple of minutes, leaning against the door with my eyes closed, keeping my tears at bay. I straightened, feeling a sense of necessity to help that woman. I opened my eyes, only to scream.
Sheridan had gotten a hold of a crossbow! And he was pointing it on me.
"I want that tape! And I want her dead! Don't you understand, I have to kill you both now, you filthy demon." I moved to stop him. There was no way that I was going to let that asshole hurt an innocent woman and her unborn child.
I moved fluidly, using the martial arts skills that I had honed to disarm him. The crossbow flew out of his hands and over the staircase. I attacked him, knocking him on his knees. He moved to stop me, so I kicked him in the head, the blow hard enough to knock him unconscious.
My breathing came in gasps now, my heart beating out of my chest. That was a close one. Misty had come out of the room, hearing my scream. She started crying again as she saw what he'd tried to do. I pulled her close to me, as I rubbed her back and whispered reassurances. I was reminded of my children, when they would come running into my arms after a bad dream. Misty seemed to be alright again, asking for the bathroom to freshen up. I pointed to the room down the hall.
I picked up the tape that I had dropped, and moved to go downstairs to call the police; specifically Kate Lockley. The police woman had transferred out of the LAPD's homicide division after her suicide attempt, rather overwhelmed with the knowledge of real evil, like the ones who had murdered her father. She was now working in robbery, but she could still help us; help Misty.
I was focused, there was no way that I was taking 'no' for an answer. Kate owed Angel. Hell, she owed all of us. I was so focused that I didn't notice Sheridan waking up. I didn't notice him standing up quietly behind me.
Not until I felt the shove.
Then I felt nothing.
Urg. My head. What the hell is going on? Did I fall off the pyramid? I opened my eyes, blinking away the bright lights. A man that I didn't know was standing over me, asking me if I was okay. I nodded, not able to form words at this moment. My eyes focused on the man…WOW! Hot momma! I licked my lips, trying to act cool, and a little sexy.
I sat up, accepting the man's help. I looked around; I was in an old building. What the hell was doing in an old building? "What the hell am I doing in this old building?" I asked him.
He gave me this sarcastic grin, "I know. It's not even up to code. You should talk to Angel about it."
"Angel?" I asked. Buffy's boyfriend? What does he have to do with anything? My eyes opened wider, there's a man on the ground! I screamed.
He turned. "What!? What's the matter?" Now, I noticed it. In his hand, there was a sword. I backed away from him slowly. I started crying.
"Please, please, don't kill me." I backed up until I was against the wall, and then sunk to the ground.
He shook his head at me, "I'm not going to kill you. I'm not going to kill anyone. You know that I can't. He's isn't even dead. I just knocked him out again. What the hell were you thinking by the way? You should've waited for someone before you took this client on. He could've killed you both. Luckily, I was here and that I heard you scream, otherwise, Misty and the baby would be dead, and you'd be next."
"Huh?" God, I'm so confused.
"I heard the tape. It's good evidence, but it doesn't do any good if you're both dead. But any good lawyer would've had it thrown out in a heartbeat unless there were witnesses. I called the police, by the way. They should be here soon. Misty went back to the bedroom. She's crying and asking if you're okay. I told her that you were."
"The police?"
"Yes. The police. That was the genius plan, wasn't it?" He was starting to sound condescending. "God, you are so bent on thinking the worst of me, aren't you? If you'd come to me, I could've helped. I mean, it was only my life's work. I WAS a lawyer, you know. I could've had that asshole on charges before he could blink. But no…you went off on your own, without anyone even knowing about this case, and decided that you were going to handle it." He shook his head at me, the sword swinging as he spoke. The man seemed to realize that he was scaring me, so he put down the sword and held out a hand to help me up.
I let him help me, all the while thinking, what the hell is going on? "What the hell is going on? Who are you?"
He looked at me, blinking now. "What? What do you mean?"
I put my hands on my hips, "What am I talking in Swahili? What is going on and who are you?"
"My name's Lindsey McDonald. Are you okay? Do you know who you are?"
The nerve. "Of course, I know who I am. I'm Cordelia Chase!"
Lindsey stared through me for a moment, "Well, alright Cordelia Chase. Do you know where you are?"
"Ha. If I knew that I wouldn't have asked you what the hell was going on, would I've?" The question was left unanswered as the door to the building burst open and soon filled the room with cops.
This blond cop was in my face, yelling at me about how I was always in trouble and that it was going to land me in jail soon. She started ordering the other cops around, telling them to make sure that they gathered enough evidence.
God, what is it with blonds thinking they're in charge. She reminds me of Buffy. Urg. Thank god that Lindsey took over, 'cause I had no clue what was going on. He handed them a tape and told them to take the unconscious guy to jail for attempted murder.
A really pretty woman came down the stairs a few minutes later crying that he'd tried to kill her and her baby. She ran up to me and hugged me, whispering 'thank you' in my ear before she was taken to the police station to make a statement.
The blond came up to me again and told me that I had to come to the station to make a statement. She took hold of my arm and was starting to push me towards the door.
Well, I wasn't going to let this Buffy look-alike order ME around. "Excuse you. Get your hands off of me. I'm not going anywhere with you, you Clairol number 108 dye job."
She put her hands on her hips now, mirroring my pose exactly. Oh no…the bitch's not getting her way. "Cordelia, I'm not playing. You are going to get your ass to the police station. Angel's not going to get you out of it this time. Where is he, by the way? Killing another innocent person?"
I was starting to get pissed off. I opened my mouth to respond when the vampire in question burst in the room from somewhere behind the desk. "Cordy, what the hell happened? Are you okay? What's wrong?" He grabbed me. I pushed away from him.
"What's your childhood trauma? What Buffy dump you or something? Get off me."
He tried to reach for me again. I pushed back. "Hey! I said get off. What'd you go and turn evil again? 'Cause I have no problem with staking you, unlike Miss Likes to Fight A lot."
His brow furrowed as he raised his hands in surrender. "Cordy--"
"It's CORDELIA. C-O-R-D-E-L-I-A. Not Cordy. No one is ever calling me Cordy again. That loser Harris is the first and last, GOT IT?" I yelled at him. There is no way that I'm ever letting anyone call me that again. The only one I let use that nickname hurt me, hurt me bad and I'm not letting anyone do that to me ever again. "What the hell is going on?" My voice resonated through the building.
He looked hurt. "I don't know, Cord-Cordelia. I just got here." Then he shot look at Lindsey. "What the hell did you do to her, you bastard?" Like lightening, he had grabbed him by the throat and held him against the wall.
The blond cop and the cops left in the room ran over to pull Angel away from Lindsey. He threw some of them across the room as if they were flies. A white haired man (wasn't that Spike?) ran over to help Lindsey.
Suddenly, the room started to get smaller as people I didn't know flooded the room and started asking me questions that I had no answer to. I did recognize Wesley in the midst of the chaos and clung to him, hoping for some reprieve.
In Sunnydale, he was the only one who was nice to me. Sure, I know that he's older, but I like that in a man. I need a man like him, one that will do as I want without question. One that won't hurt me. One that I can own. "Own the man," my mother told me millions of times, "Own him, least he owns you. And once you own him, never let him forget it."
The shouting was starting to get to me. My head was pounding as I hid myself in Wesley's chest. I wished for an escape, just for the noise to stop.
The noise stopped.
I pulled my head away and opened my eyes. Darkness and erring quiet was all I knew. What the hell? How'd I get into an alley? I barely made a sound as I walked a few steps to make my way out of the darkness. I felt it—a dark sense of danger, of evil. I stopped, suddenly knowing—someone's following me.
It was getting closer. So I did what anyone would do, I screamed and then ran. It jumped down, seemingly from the sky.
It's breath, rank and stunk like Xander's basement. It's face was horribly deformed, black with red eyes. My screams echoed off the buildings. Besides the monster, the buildings, and the stench, there was a sign: Jake's Establishment. AKA Bar. It was a corny sign. Hell, it looked like they couldn't even afford to buy one, instead painting it with neon yellow.
The demon, it grabbed me. Pushed me down. Started to rip my clothes off. I begged for it to stop, all the while fighting as hard as I could. It didn't stop, completing its horror, entering me.
I cried, screamed, and fought for so long; I thought it was a lifetime. At first, I thought that it was over, but it wasn't. Once it finished hurting me,
it killed me.
Flash.
I opened my eyes, not seeing anything. The tears blinding me. I only felt—felt arms surrounding me, I tried to fight, but they tightened around me. It wasn't painful, but it was. I didn't want anyone to touch me. That monster, it…hurt me, raped me, killed me.
Why? Why was I still here? Alive? I realized that I was crying. I stopped abruptly. I'm not Cry Buffy. I'm Cordelia Chase. I stiffened in the arms; embracing me, not hurting me. Angel's arms. That caused me to blink furiously away the remnant of tears. Why would he comfort me?
I'm not by the stairs anymore, I'm in an office. The police officers vanished. No more annoying blond cop on a power trip, thank god.
The blond man—it was Spike. Spike and Angelus are back. But why didn't they kill me? Like the monster had? Are they going to torture me, like they did to Giles? Why do they look concerned?
Wesley's here. He's handing me a cup, telling me to drink it slowly. Easier said than done, buddy. Especially since my hands obviously won't stop shaking. Angelus took it from me before I spilled it on myself. That was nice of him.
God, I can't breath, it hurts so much. Not physically, 'cause I figured that it would hurt more…down there, but mentally, emotionally, my mind. It can't grasp it.
I don't understand. Where am I? How? Why? Angelus is talking to me. The words don't make any sense. "Am I a vampire now?"
Spike shakes his head. They both are touching me. My arms, my face… "Get out of my face!" I try to push them away, and they let me go.
Wesley comes closer, "Cordelia, what did you see?" Finally, the words make some kind of sense.
"What did I see?" I repeated.
He nodded at me, "Yes. What did you see? You were screaming. I had to tell the officers to leave. That you were too traumatized by the events."
"I'm dead. It killed me. First, it…it." I couldn't get the words out. "I'm a vampire now?"
Angelus took my hands, weird. "Are my hands cold or your hot?"
Angelus spoke, "Cordelia, you're not a vampire. You're okay. You're not dead. But we need to know exactly what you saw first."
Spike pulled out a chair and made me sit in it. He put his hands on my shoulders and started rubbing them, gently. Angelus kneeled down in front of me, his hands still in mine, while Wesley took out a notepad.
"I was…here, not here, but outside by the stairs first, right?" God my head hurts; I pulled my hands away from Angelus and rubbed my temples. "Oww," I say this. Spike pulls my hands down and starts massaging my temples, the rest of his fingers around my head, almost dancing. I gasp as his fingers find a bump.
"Angel, she's got a big bump. Looks like it bleed a little. It's not bleeding anymore. Maybe she's got a concussion or something?" He tells Angelus.
Angelus's hands move to cup my face making me look into his eyes. I pull away. "I'm not Buffy, I'm not afraid of you." Of course, my voice breaks on the last word. I'm terrified and they all know it.
Wesley's voice tells me that yes…we are in the same old building. Wherever it is.
"That blond bitch. I wanted to punch her. Then everyone, too much noise. I wanted to leave. I did, didn't I? I left. I went to an alley. It was really dark. By Jake's. I think, stupid sign. Have I been there before? It seemed…There was a monster, A demon—black. All black, except it's eyes. It—It knocked me down, hurt me, really bad. Then it killed me." Through the entire explanation, I kept my eyes on the doorknob. Didn't look anywhere else. I couldn't. God, It's cold in here. My teeth started chattering.
Angelus said something to Spike and Wesley. They both left the office, carrying weapons with them. Angelus, he stayed. The doorknob is ugly. Couldn't they put in a brass one instead of copper? The doorknob is moving, now it's behind me. It's floating. It's gone away. A new doorknob replaced it. It was nicer, had a carving on it.
At least it's softer now. "The doorknob's gone again." There was a periwinkle ceiling though. "I like that color," I tell Angelus. He—he was pulling off my clothes. "No! Don't!" I fight, using my nails, arms, legs to fight. He stops.
His voice is soft, like he was talking to a baby, "I'm not going to hurt you. You've got blood on your shirt. I was just going to change it for you."
My shirt? "Not my pants?" I would've figured that my pants would be stained.
Angelus moves so he sits on the edge of the bed, "No. Not your pants. Can I help? I promise I won' hurt you."
I just nod. Why not? He's going to kill me anyway. It was strange, how gentle he was. He unbuttoned the shirt slowly, looking at my eyes the entire time. When he was done, he pulled me up to pull the shirt away. There was a new shirt. It was nice. New even and warm. He slipped it on over my head and through my arms. It really was warm. He held my arms longer than necessary, just looking at me. "How's your head?" He asked me.
"Okay," I answer. I don't think he believed me. He moved me to lay down on the bed again, this time covering me with a comforter.
"Don't worry, okay." Angelus tells me, "I'll have Lorne look after Cathy and Nicky. All you have to do is rest."
Those names sound familiar. "Okay," I answer again.
I was expecting him to torture me now. He didn't. He just pulled up a chair to sit besides me next to the bed. Maybe he'll torture me later, as my gaze focused on the periwinkle again. "It really is a nice color, you know?"
My head floated on a cloud, not sleeping, but just wandering. I don't know how long I lay there, staring at the ceiling. There was a knock on the door. Wesley poked his head in and asked if I was okay. I didn't answer. Angelus took my hand, and he kissed it, telling me that he'd be right back.
I heard them…bits and pieces unable to tell the two voices apart. "…in time? Well, yes and no. The girl's…alive. She's hurt. Raped…hospital. Almost…her neck. Didn't kill her. Angel…Cordy, felt it…Oh, God."
Lindsey, he was there too. How'd he get there? I heard him tell Angelus that I was afraid of him. Yup, you got that right. Asked for permission to come in.
A few minutes later after I heard Angelus threaten to kill him, Lindsey walked in and sat in the chair Angelus was sitting in. "Cordelia, Do you remember me? Lindsey?"
I turned my head, "Yes. You yelled at me."
He lowered his head, "Yeah. I'm sorry. You know, I know that it's hard to understand, but you're safe. Angel and Spike, they won't hurt you. Hell, they love you. They'd die for you."
Huh? Weird. "I'm not Buffy."
He looked confused, like me. "No. You're not Buffy. Why?"
I don't care to talk anymore. I turn back to stare at the ceiling. There are footsteps, hushed words, then a squeak as the bed leveled out because someone was lying besides me. I just closed my eyes. No one cares, not even Xander.
My first thought revolved around, "Who's going to make breakfast? Connor and Harrison are hungry. They're always hungry." The second thought was, "What is Angelus doing in my room? Why is he holding me like this?"
I moved away from him, getting up. I need a shower. I see the room adjoining; the bathroom with a shower too. I shut the door, and then remove my clothes. There's a mirror, but I don't want to look at myself. I turn on the hot water. I'm still cold; I step in. There's soap, so I use it. I have to get clean; that demon left his gunk on me. It wasn't coming off, so I use the scrubbing sponge.
The water is cold now, but it doesn't matter. It wasn't hot enough to begin with. The door opens. Angelus came in. He looks mad. He shut off the water and pulled me out. I hit him. He let me, so I kept hitting him. Someone else comes in. A woman this time, she's from the south, but why is she wearing that? "Seen the softer side of Sears, have we?" I tell her. God, another Willow. Just what the world needs.
She doesn't seem to care. She helps Angelus get me out of the bathroom. He calls her Fred. Great, I'm being dressed by a big Lesbo.
She puts me in hideous clothes; sweatpants and a sweatshirt, I mean, COME ON, who wears that. After she helped me, she took a brush off the vanity and started brushing my hair. It was nice, and it made me sleepy. But I just woke up. Oh well.
Urg. My head. What the hell happened? I rubbed my head trying to shake away the last traces of sleep. Turning over, I was surprised to find that I was the only one in bed. Trust me, it's very strange to find yourself alone in bed when you are used to sharing a bed with your husband and frequently with one or both of our younger children.
I snuggled in deeper in the covers. This was relaxing. I took the chance to check the time—9:00am. What?! The alarm didn't go off. The kids are going to be late for school. Why didn't Angel wake me?
I jumped out of bed. The room started to spin. My head. I fell to the floor hard, landing on my knees. God, what is wrong with me? I couldn't get up. Where is everyone?
The door to the bedroom opened. I was expecting the kids or maybe Angel. I wasn't expecting Lindsey. He ran into the room, ran directly to my side actually. At first, I was afraid. After all, the man's a bastard. He didn't hurt me though, he just picked me up off of the floor; the entire time, he spoke kindly to me. Like he actually gave a damn about someone other than himself. My knee was throbbing in time with my head. Lindsey went into my bathroom and came back with a damp wash cloth.
Alright. Is this the Twilight Zone? First, back to my original question. "Lindsey, where's Angel?"
Lindsey gazed into my eyes, as if he didn't believe what I'd asked him; he proved that was the case by repeating my question back to me. He placed the wash cloth on my forehead. I accepted it from him; My head really hurt.
"Angel's at the police station. He has a meeting with Det. Kate Lockley." He said this matter-of-factly.
"The police station. God, what is Kate's problem? It wasn't Angel's fault that her father was dealing with demons and vampires. I have to go. Angel might need help. I mean, what if she's finally cracked and decides to stake him or stick him in a sunlight filled jail cell." I stood up quickly, forgetting that only moments before I was almost flat on my back from dizziness. Lindsey caught me as I fell this time.
"Listen. She's not going to put him in jail. Angel went over there to help Misty. She needs the moral support." He made me sit down again. "The others are busy. It seems that her ex-boyfriend called in a few favors from jail. He put a hit out on her. Luckily, a very smart lawyer got in touch with one of his more secretive informants and got a phone tap placed on the jail phone. Now it's just a matter of tracing the phone calls and hunting down those who are in on it. Wesley, Gunn, Connor, Spike and Harrison have got it."
"Misty—oh, my god. Is she okay? The baby?! That man, Sheridan, he was going to kill her. He—he was here, wasn't he? What happened? What about the children?" Panic was rising. I didn't understand. He was here. We were safe; I was going to call the police. I don't remember what happened after that. "Are my babies okay?"
Lindsey took a deep breath, then motioned to the bed. I nodded, yes it was okay if he sat down besides me. "First of all, the kids are fine. They're with Lorne right now, probably eating tons of junk food. Connor and Harrison are okay too, just worried about you. As for what happened, that's a long story. Do you remember your plan to send Sheridan Boyd to jail?"
There was blessed relief after I had heard that the kids were okay. The tension went down a notch. "Yes. I remember. I planted a tape in the office to record him trying to hire me to kill Misty and the baby. Misty came in at the perfect moment. I got her to safety, put her in a bedroom. I knocked Boyd out because he tried to kill me. I was going to go call the police. But I can't remember anything else."
"That's understandable. You've got a pretty big bump on the back of your head. You've been completely out of it for the last two days. Hell, you kept calling Angel Angelus. He was getting upset at that. You also kept saying that you weren't Buffy. No one could understand why." He looked deep in thought. "Do you remember the vision?"
"The vision…what--," I stopped. Shit. The vision, the emotions, the memories of the last two days, everything came back. But it was too much at once. Too many flashes of memory. All the pain, all the hurt, all of the fear, everything bombarded my aching head. It was too much. I stood up, not caring of the consequences, just ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet.
It seemed like my stomach would never empty. The wash cloth that I had ripped off in running in here had been replaced. Lindsey sat besides me on the linoleum tile. He didn't say a word, he just sat there until I was ready to get up.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked him as he handed me a cup of water. Why indeed? I hated him. And more-so, he knew that I hated him. The man had been living in my home for almost the last month and I had not looked at him, nevertheless spoken to him the entire time. And here he was, being nice to me.
He ran his hands threw his hair, "I suppose because I'm sorry."
I snort, "You're sorry? You should be sorry." He had put my family through hell. Hurt us in a way that will never heal. My son, Connor, he lives his life as 'the Destroyer' because he'd never had the chance to become anything else living in Quar'toth.
"But I am. You don't think that I hate who I am? Who I've become? I can't look at myself anymore. At first, I thought it was just the curse. But it's not. It's me. I became who I hated the most. When I was a child, I had nothing. There were adults who came by our house, the Child Services. They dressed up in designer suits, taking down their notes on the legal notebooks, judging our life just because we were poor. They looked down on us. And now, I look at myself and I've become one of them. I hate myself. But you know what? I see Faith, Spike, and Angel. I mean, they—they were murderers, killers; they caused some of the worst horrors the world has ever seen. But you know what I see when I look at them now; HOPE. Hope that one day, I can be redeemed." He put his head down into his chest. His breathing was labored.
When he looked back up, his eyes were moist. "I thought that they did it on their own. I tried to. That's why I helped Harrison and Connor patrol every night. I thought that I could do it on my own. Without anyone's support. I didn't think that I needed any; After all, Angel, Spike, and Faith didn't need anyone to hold their hands. I was wrong about everything. I thought that they did it by themselves…but it was you. You were the one—the one that supported them all. You're still doing it. Hell, I didn't even know that you were doing it. Not until you stopped. These last couple days, when you were confused: the entire place nearly fell apart. Fred always joked about you being the heart of Angel Investigations. It wasn't a joke, you really are the heart and soul of this place. Angel was a wreck. All he could do was sit by your side and pray that you'd be okay. Spike, well, everyone ganged up on him, just like they always do, but this time it wasn't so friendly. And Faith, well, I don't think that she's stopped throwing up without your herbal teas." Lindsey stood up now, pacing the bedroom.
He started again after a few minutes, "So now, I'm thinking. I have no one. They all have you. You help them. You see the good in them. Hell, you see the good in everyone, well, everyone except for me. Is that because I don't have any good in me? Or is it because you hate me? Because I hurt you?" His voice took on a shaky tone, "I was hoping that I could find out. That if I did better. Became 'good' that you'd help me like you help them."
Lindsey came over to the side of the bed where I was sitting and kneeled in front of me. He took my hands and put them to his mouth. The tears he'd been hiding finally spilled over onto my hands. "Please, help me. Please, I can't do this by myself anymore. Please. Please…" The cries turned to deep sobs as he leaned against my legs, begging for forgiveness.
I turned to the doorway. Angel was there. I knew that he was, I felt him. I looked at him, so confused. The man hurt us; he practically killed us and now he wants forgiveness. As I look at my husband, I knew. So many times had I held him, comforting him as the memories of Angelus took hold, making him weep at the evil he'd caused. Every time, I told him that I forgave him. That he was different; he was no longer evil, only good. To refuse the same to Lindsey would be negating every word that I'd whisper in Angel's ear.
So I did what my heart told me to. To forgive him. I held Lindsey against my chest as he cried, and whispered the same reassurances that I whispered to them all.
"
April 30th (Hyperion Hotel)
Cathy has talked Connor and Harrison into playing tea party with her and her dolls. I'd run for the camera, if I didn't know that Connor'd use his vampire speed to get out of the picture, so I take a mental one from her bedroom doorway. They haven't seen me yet. Not only did she talk them into sitting at her pink Barbie table, but she also painted their fingernails. This was one of those pure happiness moments that put our soul binding rings to work, as Angel came up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I leaned into him, loving him with all of my heart. We stay there watching for a few more minutes, until Connor finally notices us and blushes a deep red. I smile at him, understanding his embarrassment, but not about to do anything about it; Cathy is too happy playing with her big brothers.
Angel with his arms still around me pulls me away from Cathy's room. Once out of the children's view, he kisses me so deeply and passionately that it doesn't seem possible that we've been married for almost eight years. Everyday seems like a honeymoon with each other. We slowly make our way towards our bedroom, our mouths still on each other. I open the door and we slip inside unnoticed. Angel undresses me so gently that it makes the sensations that much more exciting. My eyes close as I wait for him to undress.
I'm waiting. Okay…I'm waiting. I open my eyes to see Angel sitting on my vanity seat, not undressed, but staring at me. "Angel," I gasp, "What are you doing? Why aren't you-?"
He smiles, it's one of those smirky smiles that I really hate, "Why what?" He is still staring at my naked body.
Okay…I cross my arms over my chest. He's sleeping on the couch tonight. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight buster."
His smirk becomes a laugh. "I don't think so."
"What?! I think so. I mean, you get me naked and then just stare at me. Whatever." Urg. It takes everything in me not to go over there and rip his clothes off. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I make my way over to him, wanting to unbutton his shirt. He takes a hold of my hands and stops me. Urg.
Angel pulls me close to him, his mouth right against my ear. "This is payback." Then he pulled away from me and backed up a couple steps.
"What?! What payback? I didn't do anything. What is your problem, Angel?" Okay, the mood is gone. I go over to the closet to get my robe. He definitely isn't going to see me naked for a long time. Angel comes up and puts a hand against the closet door, preventing me from opening it.
I'm getting annoyed with his games now. "Angel," I yelled at him, "I'm getting cold. I want my robe. Get out of the way, you're so not getting any tonight."
He turns me to face him, "I told you, I don't think so." A hand is raised after I try to interrupt, "Not after you see your surprise."
My eyebrows must've shot up to the ceiling. "Surprise? What surprise?" I love surprises. "It's not my birthday yet. It's next month Angel."
He leans in closer, "It's not a birthday present, Cordy. I'll give it to you, but you're not allowed to see it until I'm done. Is that a deal?"
"Huh? I'm not allowed to see it. Why not? What is it? Angel, please tell me or I'll die of curiosity." I beg. I don't like waiting for presents and he knows it.
The smile is back, "Nope. You have to keep your eyes closed and since I know that you'll probably sneak a peek anyway. I'm going to blindfold you."
The air has gone cooler, since I'm no longer 'hot.' "Angel, I'm naked. Can't I at least get my robe first?"
Angel just shakes his head 'no.' Then he pulls out the blindfold and ties it around my eyes. Darkness.
I can still hear his voice, "Okay. Now I'm going to ask you to do things, and you're just going to do them. Alright?" He doesn't wait for an answer.
I feel him lowering himself to his knees in front of me. I take in a deep shaky breath, gasping his name. He lifts up my knee as I feel something incredibly soft and silky brush against my foot, my leg. The other foot is lifted as the material is slipped on. The silk is pulled up and adjusted in its proper place. How he did this without touching me was remarkable, especially since I was trying to lean into him. Angel stand up, opening the closet. I can hear him. He comes back to me a few seconds later, lifting my arms up to dress me.
I laugh, I don't think that he'll figure out how to put on my bra. He's only taken them off. But as it's weight finally registers, I realize that it's not a bra. It's a corset. He goes around behind me and starts lacing it, making it tight against my ribs, but not too tight that I can't breath. I can hear him laughing as his hands adjust the front of it, again without touching me. Urg… The next sensation is a skirt slipping over my head. It's long.
I soon find that it wasn't a skirt, but a slip. Angel goes back to the closet. I can hear a bag open. It's not a plastic bag, but a zippered garment bag. Whatever it is sounds expensive. I don't think I'm mad at him anymore. He tells me to sit on a chair, placing the chair against my leg so that I can find it without looking.
Wow. It's heavy, the dress. Very heavy. He slips it over my head, fitting it correctly over my shoulders and waist before letting me stand up. Like magic, the dress slips down and covers my legs. Angel goes around me again to button the back. It doesn't even have a zipper. It sounds expensive.
"Okay. Can I take off the blindfold now?" I ask him, practically bouncing up and down. I have to see this.
"Not yet." He says this like he's talking to the children. Urg.
"Oh. Come on."
"No. Not yet. Now, sit back down." I hear him move to the bedroom door. I hear the clicktyclop of a woman's shoes. Fred's shoes.
"Oh. Wow, Cordy. You look beautiful." She breaths.
I smile, "Really? Okay, I have to see now." I move my hands to pull at the blindfold. Angel's hands grab mine before I got a chance to.
"Not yet," he says patiently.
Fred comes closer, "Cordy, I'm going to fix your hair, so I have to take off the blindfold. You have to promise you won't open your eyes though."
I sigh, "okay, I promise."
I can feel the brush against my hair. The pins holding it in place as Fred styles it in an up-do. It feels pretty. After she finishes, she moves over and tells me that she's going to do my makeup. I agree to hold still for her.
Finally it seemed like forever, but she was done. I felt like a princess, having a maid-in-waiting dress me and make me look beautiful. I blush, feeling stupid. Fred wasn't a maid, like I wasn't a real princess, no matter what my seven year old daughter might think. I don't know what put that in my head.
Fred left the room, leaving me and Angel alone again. He told me to stand, as I heard the drawers open. I heard a click as something opened. He moved behind me. At first, the coldness shocked my skin, but quickly warmed as the necklace was latched. On my ears, earrings were placed gently. He took my hands in his again. Rings put on. He kissed each finger sweetly.
He pulled me over to where I knew was my mirror. "Okay, Cordy. You can open your eyes now."
I slowly opened my eyes wanting to make the moment last as long as possible. I gasped. Oh, my. My hands went to my mouth. I looked like a princess. Complete with tiara. I didn't even feel it when Fred put it on. The gold gown glittered, absolutely shimmering. It's bodice lined with real gold and diamond jewels. The jewels sparkled like none I'd seen before.
I turned to look at Angel. I lost my breath. He was dressed in similar fashion. His black tuxedo had a gold lining that made him look regal, in fact. He smiled at me. This time, a true happy smile. "Cordy, you are the most gorgeous woman in the world." He kissed my cheek.
"Angel. Oh, my god. We can't afford this. Hell, we can't afford the slip. It's too much. Where are we going to wear this to?"
He shook his head, "Don't worry about it, Cordy. Trust me, it's an antique, made especially for a princess. I didn't pay a dime for it."
I had to ask, "Does this mean that it was Darla's? Because I don't care how hot I look in it, I won't wear it."
He looked up sharply, "No. No, Cordy. It wasn't Darla's, or Dru's. It's yours. No one has ever worn it, ever. It was made for a princess, since I've never met a princess; it stayed in my collection until I met you. My Princess."
I kissed him. He's such a sweet talker. "Thank you, Angel. This was perfect. I feel a lot better. I know that I've been really quiet about everything, especially that last vision that I'd love to forget about, but you didn't have to do this for me. I'm okay."
He just looked into my eyes, "I know that you're okay. Everything's okay. But you can't go to your High School Reunion dressed in a sweat suit, no matter how sexy I think you look like in it."
"My high school reunion? Oh, I forgot all about it. Angel, I wasn't even planning on going. You didn't have to do this."
Angel kissed me once more, "Yes. I did. I love you and we are going to that reunion. We're going to go and make everyone who ever knew you jealous because I have you, and they don't. I love you." He kissed me again.
A knock on the door interrupted. "Hey, Angel. Woah. Cordy. You look hot. Damn. Wow. The car's here for you."
I run to the window, a white limo was waiting in front of the hotel for us. My eyes watered as I looked back at my husband. "I love you too, Angel. Thank you."
We climbed into the limo, the children waving at the door to us and wishing us luck, fun, and happiness. In that moment, I felt like one of Cathy's princesses.
…And they all lived happily ever after…
The End
Disclaimer: I do not own Angel: the series or Buffy: the Vampire Slayer shows or characters. I do however own the characters of Cathy Lucy Angel and Nicholas (Nicky) Wood. No money is exchanging hands. Please don't sue me. The character of "Misty" is obviously a Mystique like 'mutant' from the X-men series. I don't own her as well, she's just a demon in my story.
Summary: This story is the sequel to Fast Forward. (Sorry, I spelled Lindsey's name wrong. It's Lindsey with an 'e' not 'a'.) Connor has finally come back home after living in Quar'toth for ten years. Each chapter will focus on a separate character's point of view as Connor adjusts to being back home and living with his family.
Pairings: Angel/Cordy, Faith/Wood, Fred/Wesley, Gunn/OC, Spike/Buffy, later on Connor/Dawn, Anya/Xander, Willow/Kennedy.
The song that inspired this story is This Year by Christina Aguilera. (Click to get the lyrics)
If you want to skip around to other chapters first you can, but they might not be up yet. I just put in the links in advance. They are all separate stories with different points of view.
Rating: PG-13 to R for Language. Mostly the F word. I use some other bad language, but nothing you probably haven't heard anywhere else.
NEXT CHAPTER: May.
Coming soon.