THE PURPOSE: The purpose of this fanfiction is to strike out against any and all self-centered authors who think they know how to write. In a few moments, you are about to delve into the work known as YU-GI-OH! FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES. This stupid hunk of prose is designed to demonstrate, with thoughtful, brief examples, what NOT to do when writing a fanfiction. I chose Yu-Gi-Oh as my guinea pig because...well, because I'm the author! And thus the reason a bad author should read this. If ya loves it, review. If ya hates it, review. If ya don'ts care, review anyway.
A/N: Oh ho ho! All I can say is that one should never turn one's back upon a possible adversary. Why? Because, as some of you may know, Hurricane Ivan recently stormed through Florida, and my cave was in the way. WE GOT RAPED. Pure and simple. But now, I'll be writing more each day like I SHOULD!
WAY-HAY HAY back, I promised a second midterm exam. At long last, I present it to you now! Enjoy somewhat!
By The Helldragon
MIDTERM EXAM TWO
You've just read about more bad elements of fanfiction, so hopefully, you still remember them. This midterm exam covers events illustrated in Chapters Eleven through Twenty. For each question, choose the answer that best solves the problem presented.
1. What is Necropotus's battle strategy?
A. A steady stream of direct damage.
B. A steady stream of profanity.
C. Both AND the kitchen sink.
2. When did the man enter the overpriced inn?
A. After he climbed the tallest mountain to find the quietest cricket in a field.
B. After he began charging a lot for rice.
C. After Amidamaru got his magical ring of rockslides.
3. How many Life Points did Seto Kaiba have in his duel with the Girl Scout?
A. 15,964.
B. 15,965.
C. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop?
4. State a theorem illustrating the angst-riddled lives of Frog and Sephiroth.
A. Frog's tragic loss is inversely proportional to the maniacal aspirations of Sephiroth.
B. The square root of Frog's angst times five is equivalent to the hypotenuse of Sephiroth plus the remainder.
C. Sephiroth did it in the library with the candlestick because Professor Plum delcared his sword a safety hazard and removed it from the board.
5. What price did Matt pay in order to win the Millennium Scheiss?
A. 19.95 plus shipping and handling.
B. BLOOD!
C. MITTENS!
6. Choose the correct Duffman quote.
A. "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!"
B. "But, what about my children-Duffgirl and Dufflad?"
C. "Duffman can't breathe! OH, NO!"
7. What is the title of the book Hart used to hypnotize Matt's friends?
A. "The King and King"
B. "The King and I"
C. "King Me: My Sexual Encounters With Checkers"
8. What fact could be accurately taken from the appearance of Amanda Sephiroth Snape…the chick?
A. She can look forward to about eight copyright infringement trials.
B. The Helldragon's desperate.
C. Shadow Man is a tricky foe and must be approached carefully.
9. Why is the Helldragon in his own fic?
A. Lavos and Hitler's in it, so why not?
B. The Helldragon's REALLY desperate.
C. It's HIS fic, GOD DAMMIT!
10. Choose the best truth that can be taken from a summarization.
A. There's a little summary in all of us.
B. My cat smells like cat food.
C. I see your Schwartz is as big as mine!
I'll let you grade it. I gotta pick up some more crap Hurricane Ivan tossed about…
#1-The answer is B. Got that, jackass?
#2-The answer is C. See, if you were smart enough to listen to all of the story, you would have got this one.
#3-The answer is A. Correct math helps in the fight against absurd cookie prices.
#4-The answer is C. Professor Plum is a pacifist nerd.
#5-The answer is A. It was worth every penny.
#6-The answer is A. Duffman was thrusting at Hurricane Ivan, the BITCH!
#7-The answer is NOT C, if that's what you're wondering.
#8-The answer is B. But you knew that already.
#9-The answer is B. No big surprise.
#10-The answer is…well…ah, hell. I'll let you have this one.
Scoring:
10 Correct: Wow. And here I thought you didn't actually give a damn. Not giving a damn would actually seem normal, you know. You don't want to be one of those weirdos like I am. But then again, if you're on , how normal can you be?
9-7 Correct: You've studied well, young one! Now all you need to do to attain the highest level of knowledge is go back to your quiz and change the answers, for, he who does not seize the opportunity will be known as a dick forevermore.
6-4 Correct: Welcome to mediocrity! Now you can be accurately labelled as a product of the American education system and you have no one to blame but yourself.
3-1 Correct: Now, I told you that I was gonna fuck-start your head if you failed this quiz. But since I'm not a sexual pervert, stand over there so I can poke you with this stick for an hour.
0 Correct: You must be a dumbass if you missed the question I gave you credit for anyway.
So what now? Well, don't think that the adventure's over yet! Yugi and the gang approaches the Battle City Two finals, but what stupidity will they encounter on the way? The next half of this fic will review all of the major concepts we've learned so far, prepping you for the dreaded FINAL EXAM! A pineapple up Hitler's ass awaits thee, pupil, next time on YU-GI-OH FANFICTION FOR DUMMIES!