Author's Note: I want you all to read this story, hopefully to the end, before you start cursing me out. I'm not really sure as to EXACTLY how this is going to end yet, so I'm going to let you all decide. I will take any and all suggestions into account when I write the next chapter. (The next chapter is Robin Wood's POV, so please remember that when making suggestions.) I could go either way on this…It's up to you.

This Year

Chapter Nine: June (Fred's POV)

Prologue:

I waited too long, my love. I know this now. I should've told Wesley the minute—no, the second that I found out. God, why didn't I?

I laugh silently to myself, tears still streaming down my face. Oh, yeah. I wanted a perfect and special moment to tell him the news. I'm so stupid, I cry. I've wasted precious time.

Time I no longer have.

Oh, my god!!! My mother's going to kill me! I can image her voice in my head when I tell her. "Winifred", she'd say, "You haven't even come back from your honeymoon and now you're telling me that you're having a baby. Why, honey, I was just getting used to you being a married woman and now you're with child. I'm going to be a grandmother. I'm too young to be a grandmother. Oh, my lord."

I look at the plastic tab again. It's still got two lines. I'm still pregnant. I can't be pregnant! Well, technically speaking, I can be. But Wesley and I just got married! We're not even back from our two-week honeymoon yet. I'm still a bride. I'm not ready to be a mother just yet. I sit on the toilet seat in our lovely honeymoon suite in Hawaii. I put my head in my hands and think back to my wedding.

Flashbacks

It was beautiful. No doubts about that. Wesley and Gunn really went all out for our double wedding. Two brides and two grooms exchanged vows in an evening outdoor ceremony by the shore. Andrea, Gunn's fiancé, and I hired a wedding coordinator to help us with our plans. She didn't. It was almost a complete disaster. The woman refused to listen to us. She wanted to have an afternoon wedding by the beach. We tried to tell her that it was out of the question, but she kept pressuring us. Oh, yeah, why don't we tell Angel and Spike that they can't come to the wedding? That'll go over really well when we all get back to work.

She picked flowers Wesley was allergic to and hired a band that Gunn couldn't stand. The boys were willing to put up with all of that to make us happy though. But the final straw was choosing the bridesmaids dresses for all of us. Cordy was really nice about planning our wedding with a consultant instead of listening to her suggestions, but absolutely freaked out when she found out she'd have to wear yellow velvet to the wedding. I can't believe that there even is such a material. It was hideous. After that, we just fired her, and let Cordy help us, like she'd been begging.

Well, Cordy was amazing! In two weeks time, she hammered out more details than the consultant ever could. And more so, she planned it with what WE told her that WE WANTED.

The wedding ceremony was, she confessed, her and Angel's favorite romantic spot on the planet: the bluffs by the ocean. She actually hired her ex-boyfriend, Xander to create a handmade altar for us. He is such a great carpenter. I had no idea; he seemed like such a ditz. The altar stood on the edge of the bluffs so you could hear the sounds of the crashing waves against the stones as the vows were exchanged. It wasn't the beach area, so it remained a private ceremony. Only friends and family were invited. Thinking back, many things escape me, detail-wise. I can only remember looking at Wesley right before we kissed. Gunn and Andrea took their vows after us, letting us step back and become their best man/maid of honor as they were to us.

We danced on the sand, taking our shoes off and twirling around the shore. Dipping our feet in the water when we got too hot. We barely noticed anyone around us, except when Wesley accidentally knocked down Lindsey and Anne after he backed up into them trying to dip me. They didn't mind, smiling happily at each other before going back to their slow dance. We went back home to the Hyperion that night, getting another surprise; a wedding present from Angel and Cordy. Angel had re-decorated one of the large suites of the hotel as a honeymoon suite; rose petals lined the room, while soft candlelight bathed the room with a romantic glow. We looked around, finding a separate bathroom, complete with a Jacuzzi hot tub, shower, and two sinks. We walked back into the bedroom, gasping at the bed. It was covered in royal blue silk. It was my favorite color.

Wesley picked up the envelope that rested against the light blue throw pillows. He read it out loud. Apparently, this was our new bedroom. The letter went on to tell us both that the two adjacent rooms were to become ours as well to do with as we pleased. The handwriting changed into a more bubbly and curvy writing; mentioning that it was big enough for an entire family. [Hint, Hint]

I looked at Wesley, smiling so happily that one could say I was all-smiles. The phone rang suddenly, making me jump. It was Gunn. His voice chattered excitedly as he told us about their new bedroom suite. Boy, Angel and Cordy were busy little beavers. The call was soon forgotten as Wesley pulled the phone cord from the wall and we consummated our marriage for the first time.

The next morning we drove to the airport, making our way to Hawaii for our two-week honeymoon. Gunn and Andrea had decided to go the Disney World instead for some fun.

We had a wonderful time in Hawaii. Walking along the shores, swimming, doing hula dances, scuba diving, and making love made the two weeks fly by so quickly. On the last day of our trip, I ended up with a migraine so sever that I thought I was suffering from heat stroke or something. It was so strange. I'd never had one before. I don't know why but the words of my mother always said when she described her pregnancy with me. "Heavens, I never had any headaches or pains until I was pregnant with you, Fred. The migraines were so bad that I'd sleep for two days straight. I couldn't even think until after I'd given birth to you. And my god, no wonder why they call it labor. It took 38 hours for you to come out. I thought I'd die before then. But, the moment the doctors put you in my arms, I knew that it was worth it, Fred. I loved you the second I held you."

I launched myself out of bed and ran down to the hotel mini-store for a pregnancy test. I don't think that I had one other thought other than "I could be pregnant." I practically ran down an old woman trying to walk around in her walker. I must've searched the entire store for the test. There was only one test on the shelf. It was a generic brand created by the store. Throwing it in the plastic basket that I picked up near the door, I stopped myself from buying a pain killer for my headache. If I was pregnant, I thought, it wouldn't be good for the baby.

Waiting in the cashier's line, I vibrated in place, anxiously wishing the cashier to go faster. Tapping my fingers on the nearby magazine rack, I earned several glares by neighboring customers. It took forever!!! Finally, I had paid for the test and ran back to my room to run it.

IT WAS POSITIVE… I checked it five times and reread the box. Yes, I am pregnant. My thoughts were very scattered, thinking about everything and anything. From my wedding, to my mother, to that slow cashier that drove me insane.

End Flashback

The door opened revealing Wesley. Oh, God. How do I tell Wesley? We haven't had a chance to even discuss children. We just got married. What if he doesn't want to have a baby now? What if he just wanted to be married for a little while, like I had planned. And most of all, how do I tell him?

The slam of the door made me jump. Wesley started pacing the room, growling under his breath about the stupidity of the airline. He kept talking to himself; not noticing my worried posture. I was able to understand the majority of it; The airline lost our return tickets back home to L.A. Abruptly, he stopped his pacing and picked up the phone to make a call. The resulting call did nothing to calm him as he shouted at the person on the other end to fix the problem.

I sat back on the bed, still feeling queasy. Resting my cheek against my closed fist, the idea of telling Wesley at that moment was postponed. It wasn't the right time. He was under enough stress.

I had to wait for the perfect moment.

We finally got back to L.A. without killing any of the airline employees. A computer glitch caused us a three day delay return back. So by the time we got home, Angel Investigations practically rolled out the red carpet back to our desks. Gunn and Andrea had remarkably returned from their honeymoon on time and had already worked on five cases. Cordy hugged us and congratulated us again before handing us both a pile of paperwork to do.

I couldn't believe how busy we were. People were practically lining up to talk to one of our investigators. Angel had even sent Connor and Harrison alone on a couple of cases. Wesley kissing me on the cheek, whispered in my ear, "Guess the honeymoon is over," then walked into his office to start working on his cases.

I took a deep breath before I sat at my desk to start the paperwork; then promptly stood back up to run to the bathroom to throw-up. Since everyone was so busy, no one noticed me. Leaning against the cold tile of the bathroom, I felt so tired. Touching my stomach, I smiled at the thought of the baby. I wanted nothing more than to run out of the room and announce the news to everyone.

I walked out of the bathroom and was almost plowed down by my husband practically running out the door. I caught him before he left. "Wes, where are you going? We just got here."

Wesley put a loving hand on my shoulder, "Fred, I have to go meet with a client. It's sort of an emergency. Needless-to-say, but their lives are in danger as we speak. Sorry, Fred. I have to go." With that, he kissed me and then ran out the door.

"Be careful," I shouted at him. Watching him as he grabbed his jacket and ran out, I had a certain feeling of foreboding. It was slight, but it still made me shiver. Ignoring it seemed like the best option.

Turning around to watch the others, I watched as Angel paced the floor while on the phone with a client. Cordy was sitting at her desk, also on the phone, as she wrote down what the client was saying. Gunn was interviewing someone in Wesley's office, while Andrea filled up the coffee pot to make a fresh batch. The others were out.

I felt out of place, from being gone for two weeks. I wanted to help, but I didn't know what was going on. So, I just waited until Angel was done on the phone to get my assignment.

The mission he assigned definitely wasn't what I was expecting! Especially since I knew we were so busy. But with Robin having to work days and unable to get time off from work as a high school principal, I was the only one free to go with Faith.

I drove her to her OB/GYN office for her monthly checkups. Funny how Faith was almost seven months along now; she really didn't let her pregnancy slow her down at all. And it was only recently she'd started to show, her belly filling with the swell of the baby.

She surprised me by asking me to come in with her. I immediately agreed, wanting to support her since her husband couldn't come. We both waited until the doctor came in then watched in wonder at the life in front of us. I held Faith's hand as we both watched her baby on the screen. The ultrasound was amazing. I mean, I had seen Darla's ultrasound with Connor, but it was different now. I wasn't pregnant then. I closed my eyes for a moment, pretending that Faith's baby was my own because it would be me there lying on the bed, watching my baby and listening to his/her heartbeat, in seven months.

The doctor's question forced our gazes away from the screen. "Do you want to know if it's a boy or a girl, Faith?"

She looked at me before answering, "Hell, yeah. I'm dying to know."

The doctor smiled, "Well, congratulations, Faith. It's a girl." I started giggling and clapping at the announcement. A girl. I hugged her tightly, excitement causing us both to practically jump up and down on the table. The doctor printed out a picture of the baby for Faith to have, telling Faith to make an appointment for next month, before leaving to let Faith get dressed.

We both walked out of the office on a cloud, chatting about how wonderful it would be to have another little girl in the house. A little girl like Kathy.

As we walked into the Hyperion, I mentioned, "Oh, Faith. It's going to be so much fun. Image a little girl, like you, running around the house and calling you, Mommy." She gave me a quick smile, then ran up the stairs to 'freshen up'.

I had told her to image it, but I was the one doing the imaging. I wanted to do nothing but tell Wesley about the baby. I was in a weird daydream, a smile on my face, picturing a little girl with Wesley's eyes and my cheeks jump around the house in pigtails. A little voice calling out 'Mommy' gleefully as Wesley spun her around in the air. Learning how to walk, saying her first word. Her running through the house, playing with Faith's daughter. As a teenager, getting ready for her first date. Walking across the stage… getting her diploma. Falling in love, getting married. I saw my entire life with her, even if I didn't know if it would be little girl. The smile widened, it could be a little boy…a boy like Wesley.

Cloud Nine was an understatement. I saw Wesley across the room. I waved at him, smiling even more. He looked at me with such intensity that my fantasy was forgotten as I walked over to him more quickly. Wesley shouted, "Fred, NO! Run!" But his warning came too late.

"Oh, GOD!!! Help!" I screamed as I ran. Masked men in black ran after me, their guns pulled out to shoot. I had almost reached the door, when it was flung open to reveal Lilah Morgan and more Wolfram and Hart goons. My escape was blocked. Her men had also pulled out their weapons.

They forced me back into the office where the others were. Wesley pushed his way through the men to me. I looked around the room. Angel was on the ground in the corner of the office, his head bleeding. "Oh, god. You shot Angel in the head." I put my hand against my mouth to stifle my screams. Cordy was on the ground, unconscious, near him with three men pointing their guns at her head; threatening to kill her if any of us moved. Spike sat on the desk chair coiled like a snake, looking ready to strike at anyone, but not being able to. Gunn and Andrea sat on the floor their arms around each other in front of the desk. The corner of Gunn's mouth was bleeding and Andrea's cheek had a red mark that would form into a bruise. Wesley and I seemed to be the only ones unharmed. I thought of the others: Thank god the children weren't here. Thank God Faith ran upstairs. They didn't know she was here; they didn't see her.

Wesley had his hands against my shoulders, pulling me back to hide behind him. I let him protect me. He had his hands up, trying to negotiate with Lilah.

"Lilah. What are you doing? You can't do this." He yelled.

"Really, who's going to stop me? You?" She remarked sarcastically.

The front door opened, Lindsey's voice rang through the hotel, "Lilah! What the hell are you doing?" He ran over to us, ignoring the men who turned their weapons at him.

She pulled away from Wesley, turning towards Lindsey. "I'm sorry. Who are you again? Oh, yeah. I remember. You're nobody. Wolfram and Hart made sure of that. And now where are you? With the enemy."

He snarled, "You're the enemy, Lilah. I know that now."

She put her mouth against his ear saying something that none of us could hear. He stiffened when she came closer to touch him. Lilah kissed him, then walked out of the room, leaving us alone with the goons.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Angel wake. The men who had their guns on Cordy had relaxed, enabling Angel to launch up and take their guns. Spike, on the same wavelength as Angel, immediately attacked the men closest to him. Everyone else reacted. In the midst of the fighting, I was able to punch out two men. Faith ran downstairs with a crossbow and joined the battle.

Gunshots rang out as the men tried to shoot us. Wesley ran to Cordy, still unconscious, and pulled her behind the desk trying to protect her from the flying bullets and carnage. I started grabbing the lamps, books, anything I could get my hands on to throw at them.

It seemed like forever, but the fighting was over. A few men lay on the ground, bleeding and broken. The others ran--full of fear.

Angel went over to Cordy, trying to wake her. While Gunn helped Andrea off of the floor.

Wesley came over to me, practically in my face. His mouth was moving but I couldn't understand him. He started pointing and screaming. I looked down to see what he was pointing at. Oh…there's blood on my pants. I look further down; to the ground as the puddle of red kept getting bigger. Strange, I think, I'm getting sleepy.

The shouting gets fainter as the lights go out.

It's dark now.

I wake up slowly; the lights hurt my eyes. There are people in white coats around me. Doctors. They're doctors. I'm sleepy. I don't want to wake up. I just want to think about my Wesley.

Wesley!

My eyes fling open. "Where's Wesley? Where's my husband?" I cry. Another thought comes to me. "MY BABY!!! Is my baby okay?" They don't answer me.

"Oh, god. My baby's dead." I can't breathe now. Lights are flying before my eyes. The nurse is shaking me.

I turn my attention to the doctor talking to me. "Listen to me, Mrs. Pryce. You were shot. It's very serious. You've had a lot of blood loss. We are aware of your pregnancy. We did blood tests before doing a blood transfusion. The baby is okay…but, there's no easy way to say this; you are going to lose the baby soon. We're going to have to abort. The bullet nicked the artery that supplies the uterus. The only way to stop the bleeding is to remove your uterus. You won't be able to have children. I'm sorry."

Tears blind me. "No, please. Don't. My baby." I grab the doctor, begging him to help me.

"Mrs. Pryce," his voice is harsh, "there's nothing we can do. You can't have the baby." I look around, desperate for someone to tell me otherwise.

I catch the eye of the nurse who shook me, her eyes widened. She turned to the doctor, "Dr. Janison, what about a surrogate? Could we transfer the embryo to another womb?"

The doctor stopped, seeming to think about it, "It could work; it's a long shot, but it could work. The only problem is how are we going to find a woman willing to surrogate now. It has to be now. We can't wait any longer. She could bleed to death at any moment."

My hands are shaking, but I grab the doctor by the arm. "Please, get my friends. My husband. Please." The doctor tells the nurse to 'bring them in.'

Wesley comes in first, his face shell-shocked. His face was white. He looked as if he would fall over if the wind blew. Cordy, Angel, Gunn, Faith, and Andrea come in after him.

My husband came over close to me, his hands on mine now. "You're pregnant? Why didn't you tell me, Fred?" His voice broke as tears slid down his face.

"I'm Sorry, Wesley. I waited too long, my love. I know this now." I should've told Wesley the minute—no, the second that I found out. God, why didn't I?

I laugh silently to myself, tears still streaming down my face. Oh, yeah. I wanted a perfect and special moment to tell him the news. I'm so stupid, I cry. I've wasted precious time.

Time I no longer have. "Wesley, the baby is going to die. They're going to abort it. I can't let them. It's our baby."

He kissed my hands, "Fred," he spoke softly, "you can't have the baby. You'll die, if you don't let them take it."

"But we won't be able to have children. EVER!" I cry even harder at this.

He wrapped his arms around me, the doctors warning him to hurry, "At least, I won't lose you, Fred. I can't bear it if I lost you."

The doctor jumped in, begging Wesley to sign the documents so they could rush me to surgery. The nurse looks at him desperately, trying to help me. "Dr. Janison? The surrogate? We have to try."

The others look up in hope. Angel speaks up, "What are you talking about? What surrogate?"

The nurse now explains it to my family, as I drift off gently. I jerk as I feel someone touch my face. Cordy leaned into me, kissing my temple. "Don't worry, Fred. I'll take care of your baby for you. Okay? I'll take real good care of him or her, okay? You don't have to worry. Just get better."

I smile at my best friend. "Thank you." I whispered this. I should've known that Cordy'd volunteer to surrogate. She'd do anything for us. She's a true friend. I know she'd never let my baby die.

Tears wet my face, tears not my own as Wesley kissed my lips and told me he loved me. "I love you too, my Wesley."

With that, I closed my eyes. "Tired now. I love you all. Good night."

I felt like I did earlier, floating on a cloud. No pain, no hurt, no tears, just me and my family running around the house, laughing.

THE END

What do you all think? These are my thoughts. The next chapter is up to you. BUT you must review to let me know what you want.

Should I let Fred die?

Or let her live?

Should I find a way to bring Illyria to life? (If this is what you want, you're going to have to help me think of how to do this.)

Obviously, Wesley is no longer going to be silly/dorky Wesley…but Sexy/Dark Wesley. This has been a life changing moment for him.

He will not care about anything and will self-destruct like Wesley in Season Four/Five. (Drinking, etc)

Should I bring in Wesley's Dad? His mother? OR should Fred's parents come to visit?

Cordy is going to have Fred's baby. ('cause Faith is already pregnant and Andrea is a minor character.)

Faith is going to have problems with her pregnancy as well…but it's not what you think. (I'm not killing Faith or her baby.)

I also need a name for Faith's baby girl.

Please remember July is Robin's POV. He wasn't at this "massacre". He comes in afterwards. The children were not there as well…Neither was Lorne.

Should I write in any guest appearances? Buffy, Xander, Willow, Tru, Lindsay, Giles, Davis, etc (Btvs or Tru Calling characters.)

This is a new MONTH, so what ever you choose…this will be the family trying to work through it. But Robin and Faith are going to have problems of their own.

"My Last Breath" By: Evanescence

hold on to me love
you know I can't stay long
all I wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet ruptured light it ends here tonight

closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there

say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black