26
Disclaimer: All of the characters that you recognize do not belong to me. They belong to Aaron Sorkin and all the producer people. The plot is mine, with brief influences from friends and things I have read. I mean no harm, and am not trying to infringe upon anything.
Authors Note: Okay, so this took a really long time to write because I kept on forgetting that I was writing it. I love to read fiction, but this is my first go at writing it. Some of the incidences may seem a little unreal, but I really don't care. I am not in this for accuracy. I know this might sound strange, but I love angst. Thus this story is chocked full of almost every angsty situation I could think of. If you don't like angst don't read it. Also, in case you were wondering Quiddity means essence.
The Quiddity of Lies
The seatbelt sign flashed on as the plane began its final descent into Washington. Donna was barely recognizable as the woman she once was. Thanks to the help of dye and colored contacts, she now had brown eyes and dirty blonde hair. She was also a little bit curvier then in the past. Next to Donna sat a small 4 year old girl with curly blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes.
"Do you want help putting on your seatbelt, baby?"
Instead of a response, the little girl flashed the biggest dimples Donna had ever seen, and handed the troublesome buckle to her mother. As Donna helped her daughter with the seat buckle, she thought back to how she got into the situation she was in.
After she and Josh had started dating, she came home one night to find him in bed with Amy. To scared and angry to listen to excuses, Donna had mailed in her resignation to Leo and left. California had seemed like the perfect place to start again, so she chose San Francisco, a place far away from Sam's district. She got a job as a writer for a political magazine, and soon settled into her new life.
A few months had passed, and Donna was getting comfortable in California but it still didn't feel like home. Her period still didn't come once she had settled in, and she realized she was pregnant. Five months later Joelle Lila Moss came into the world. The name Donna had chosen was filled with meaning. Joelle was for Joannie, Josh's sister. Lila was the closest Donna could come to giving her little girl the Lyman name. She had been born a month early, and because of that Joelle was just a little smaller then she should be. Donna fell in love the instant she saw her daughter, but knew that she could never again face Josh. He had his own life, and hers was now perfect even without him.
Life was good to Donna and Joelle, but Donna realized she could not be happy living in California for ever. She missed DC, and the only people she had ever known as her family. The magazine had readily agreed to transfer her to DC, and she had again decided to pick up her life and move. Joelle was excited to go live in a new place, with fun new things like snow. Donna was just happy to be going home.
"Mommy?" A small but demanding voice on her side inquired. "Mommy, I think its time to get off the plane."
With that Donna grabbed her daughter's small hand, got off the plane, and went to the baggage carrousel.
Josh had been useless all day. He and Sam were returning from the campaign trail and the last place he wanted to be was on this airplane. With Sam running for the Democratic nomination, he had been traveling a lot lately. But Washington was still home, and he couldn't wait to return.
The only problem was he had not been able to stop thinking about Donna for the past few days. Everywhere he had turned he thought he had seen her. It maybe true that he never when after her, but his love for her never died. Once she left, he only watched long enough to know that she had found a place to stay and a job. This was his biggest mistake, and he knew it. So did Sam.
"You are thinking about her" Sam stated as they got off the plane, and headed for their luggage.
"Why do you even ask anymore? Of course I am. That's all I seem to be good for these days. I can't do my job, I can't campaign, and I clearly can't have a relationship!"
"First of all I was not asking, I was stating a fact. Secondly, you are doing a fine job of keeping me company and giving me other things to worry about besides this primary. We all miss Donna. The last part was true though, you can't have a relationship, not in less it's with Donna. I don't even know why you keep on trying"
"I do not keep on trying, I had a long on-and-off relationship with Amy. It failed. A lot. Now I am alone."
"It was not one long relationship with Amy, it was a lot of short meaningless sexual encounters. You were mad and frustrated, she was there and she wanted to be helpful."
"A valid point my friend"
With that they arrived at their carousel. Josh grabbed a place to stand and take off the luggage, while Sam went to go introduce himself to other passengers in hopes of getting their votes.
"Stand right over here where I can see you, Joelle, and I'll go get our bags." And with that Donna left her little girl and carryon bags in a pile in plain sight.
As she attempted to split her attentions evenly between the bags and her daughter, she failed to notice Sam walk up behind her.
"Hello", he said, "My name is Sam Seaborn, and I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?"
As this came out of his mouth, the last one of her bags came down the line. He saw her struggle to get it off, and helped her out. As he put down the bag he stuck out his hand. She took it gingerly but did not look him in the face.
"I am running for the democratic nomination, and I was wondering if you had and questions or concerns that I could address in the future?"
Without thinking, she looked up and smiled right at him. "Ohh Sam, this is great. I am so proud of you. You'll make a great president one day."
Sam could not believe what he was seeing, was it really who he thought it was? "Donna?" He hesitantly asked, "Is it really you?" As she nodded her head, he could not stop himself from giving her a huge hug.
"I've really missed you", he whispered into her hair, "everyone has. Especially Josh."
With that she looked up abruptly. "Sam, I have to go. I just got here for the first time in years, and I have a lot to do. Please don't tell Josh I am here, please. I can just disappear again if you do, but I really want to stay here in DC."
"Okay, I won't tell him. But I want to see you again, maybe catch up a little. Do you have a number I can call?"
"I will give you my cell number under one circumstance. After you have it in your hand, you will walk away and keep greeting people. You cannot look back."
Not entirely understanding, he nodded his consent. Donna wrote down her number and handed it to him. He gave her another brief hug and walked away. Once he was gone, she went to her daughter. All the bags were put on a cart, and hand in hand the girls left the building.
"I think I must be going crazy", Josh commented as he and Sam left the airport an hour later. "I thought I saw Donna again at least three times while I was waiting for the bags. One was even someone you were talking to. I mean, her hair was a different color, and her body was a different shape, but something about the way that she carried herself. I don't know what I am talking about, of course it wasn't her. If it was you would have come back shouting for joy, right?"
"Come on, you know me, how long can I keep a secret. I barely ever even try anymore. I did get one woman's number though."
"Good for you man. So what time do we start tomorrow?"
"Early Josh, very early"
"Hello?" Donna answered her phone, yelling slightly over the sound of the television.
"Did you see how long I waited to call you", Sam asked, "I let you get settled in and everything."
"Hang on one second Sam," Donna said. She put down the phone and yelled to Joelle, "Turn down the television or I am going to take it away". Immediately the volume dropped to a more reasonable volume.
As Sam waited for her to get back on the phone he heard her yell in the background, then the background noise was all the sudden quiet and she picked up the phone again. "Sorry about that, I could barely hear a thing."
"It's okay, so you didn't answer me. Aren't you surprised yet proud about how long I waited to call?"
"I am very proud, Sam. I missed talking to you so much these past few years."
"I missed you too, you should have called me. I would have been willing to talk to you anytime."
"I know Sam, I know. So president, huh?"
"You bet. Say, if you ever need a job or a reference or a connection, just call me okay?"
"I will, but I am doing okay for myself. I write for The Political World. You ever heard of it?"
"Okay, I get the point; you are not as helpless and nice as you have led us all to believe. Inside you are just as dark and political as the rest of us. Listen, I was thinking, instead of doing the reunion thing over the phone can we get together, like for lunch or something."
"I have got a bunch of lunch meetings all this week, but if you want to stop by my office tomorrow around 3:30, I should have some time to waste."
"I'll clear a spot in my busy work day. I can't wait to catch up. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Donna"
"Bye Sam", Donna said. Not knowing what was going on Joelle echoed in the back, "Bye Sam".
As he hung up Sam was very confused. So many things did not fit. Who was she yelling at in the background? Who had echoed her salutations at the end of the conversation? Even with all these doubts in his mind, he could not help but smile. He was going to get to see Donna again tomorrow.
Donna looked at her clock, 3:20; Sam would be here in just a few minuets. She could barely contain her excitement. She had missed the old gang so much, and although she could never go back, Sam was still great to have around. At first she had be horrified that he knew she was back, but now she was just happy. It was nice to have a familiar face to turn to every once in a while. All of the sudden, her desk phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi mommy!" Joelle happily cried into the phone. She was at home, with a teenage neighbor. Upon moving in, the teenager had offered up baby sitting services. Donna was taking advantage of this for a few hours every afternoon, in between the time the two came home.
"Hey Joe, how was your day in camp?" She had a few minuets to talk to her daughter, and it was better then sitting there with nothing to do but think. With that she turned her chair around, so she could look out the window and talk to her baby.
"Where are you going Sam?" Josh bellowed as he saw Sam put on his coat and head for the door.
"Out"
"Well now, that wasn't vague." Josh joked, "You can't be done with your work yet, its only 3:15."
"I know, I'll come in early tomorrow to catch up. I really have to leave now though. I am meeting someone in like 15 minuets, and I can't be late."
And with that he ran out the door. He hated not telling Josh everything. Josh was his chief of staff and his best friend. The plan as of now was to get Donna used to the idea of having her old friends back and introduce her slowly to everyone again. She had to be ready so see him sooner or later. And until that time came, he would keep on dropping not so subtle hints about how badly Josh was doing without her.
As he formulated these planes in his head he rounded the corner to Donna's office. As he opened the door, he saw her chair turned away and he heard her say:
"I'll be home soon baby. I love you too Joe, call if you need me."
Sam didn't know what to do. He stood there dumbfounded and unable to move. Donna turned around, hung up the phone, looked up and saw Sam.
"You okay over there? You look like you were just hit by a truck!"
"No, I'm fine. It's just... I just walked in, and I hear... I mean..."
"Spit it out already Sam."
"Who is Joe?"
"What? Ohh you heard the tail end of my conversation didn't you?" Sam nodded.
"Well," Donna sighed, "This could take a while and I have a long walk home. Care to walk me? We can talk as we walk. I'll answer all of your questions, I promise."
"Okay," Sam replied as Donna got on her coat and they headed for the door, "start from the beginning."
"Just a warning before we begin, you may not believe anything I am about to tell you until you see my house." She took a deep breath when he nodded. "I have a daughter. Her name is Joelle or Joe. That's who I was talking to when you walked in. Does that answer some of your questions?"
"Well, your right I almost don't believe you and now I have even more questions then before. I guess everything makes a little more sense. I mean you left because you were mad, then you find out you are going to have a kid. You couldn't face the love of your life pregnant with someone else's child, and that put the rest of us out of your reach as well."
"Not exactly, you go the main gist of the story but some of your version is wrong. Joelle is Josh's daughter. I couldn't come back because I couldn't trust him with myself, and defiantly not the life of a child. He proved that he could hurt me and that he collapsed under the smallest bit of relationship pressure in one swoop. That is why I stayed away."
"Wow Donna, I don't really know what to say. Two of my best friends have a daughter, one parent doesn't know he is a father. That's pretty screwed up."
"I know, I know. Look, this is my house. Do you want to come in? Maybe you could meet Joelle, and see why I could not risk losing her."
At Sam's now frequent nod, Donna opened the door. Immediately, in a small but speedy blond blur of motion, a tiny little girl with curly golden pigtails was attached to Donna's arms. Donna looked up, motioned for Sam to close the door and slowly started to make her way into the room.
"Hey Joe, there is someone here I want you to meet," Donna said as she placed the little girl on the couch. "This is Sam. Why don't you talk to him for a few minuets while I go make a snack."
Sam came and sat down next to the little girl as Donna went off into the kitchen. What was he supposed to say to the daughter of his two best friends? Start with the basics, he thought. Before he could get a word out the small kid stuck out her hand.
"Hiya Sam," the tiny person squeaked, "My name is Joelle Lila Moss. What is your full name?"
"Samuel Norman Seaborn" he managed to say, quite taken with the girl sitting in front of him. "Hey Joelle, can I ask you a few questions?"
"Of course silly," Joelle giggled, "ask me all the questions you want. But just to tell you, so you know not to ask, I don't know anything about why we moved here. Everyone keeps on asking me why we moved, but I just don't know." She finished in one breath with a shrug.
Sam smiled. He could tell he liked this girl already. She seemed to be a perfectly smaller version of Donna, but with a few of Josh's quirks.
"How old are you?"
"Right now I am only four and a half, but in a few more months its gonna be time for my birthday again. Mommy says that when its my birthday, I can get anything I want. I know exactly what I am going to ask for already. I am going to get a puppy, a small one that will stay small even when it's not a puppy anymore. That way it can live in our house, and not take up to much space."
"Wow that sounds like a perfect birthday present. When are you going to turn 5?"
"January 15th"
"Where did you live before you moved here to Washington?"
"Same place as my mommy silly, San Francisco."
"Do you know who your daddy is? Or maybe where he is?"
At this question Joelle looked unsure of herself. She made a show of looking both ways to see if her mother was coming, then she leaned her head forward to whisper in Sam's ear.
"I am not supposed to know this, so you got to promise not to tell," She whispered in the loudest whisper Sam had ever heard. Sam quickly nodded his consent, and she continued to stage whisper. "Mommy doesn't like to talk about him a lot, it makes her sad. She only told me that he loves me, but I know what his name is because she talks about him sometimes when she thinks no one is listening. His name is Joshua and he's from wherever mommy is from. I think that means Wisconsin, where my grandma lives, but I am not sure."
As she pulled back, Sam had to try his hardest not to cry. Joelle was so cute, so smart, and all around perfect. He loved her already, and he had just met her. Deep down, Sam knew that Josh deserved to know about this family, he knew that Josh would adore both women as soon as he got used to the idea of them being around. Sam also knew that he could never do anything to hurt this little girl, and that included exposing her to Josh. Josh would overreact and chances were that a lot of pain would come before any good did.
Donna came back in not long after, and the trio spent the rest of the night catching up and talking. Sam helped put Joelle to bed and headed home, but not without telling Donna to call him if they needed anything.
Donna's modest little car was stopped at a red light. It was nothing special, just a reliable Nissan Sentra. She was on her way home from picking up Joelle from camp. Tonight, she was going to give the neighbor a break; there would be no babysitting. Joelle could not stop talking, particularly about Sam. Tonight was the her weekly visit with him. Donna was not sure exactly what they were going to do, but she did know that it meant she had about 3 hours to herself tonight. She was going to take a long bath, and then she was going to catch up on some reading.
As she thought about how great it was to have a friend like Sam back in her life, the light turned green. The two cars in front of her began to make their way through the intersection, and she started to follow. All of the sudden, she heard a screeching noise coming from her left ride. A car came speeding down the lane, but instead of stopping at its red light it kept going. Donna tried to swerve out of its way, but the collision was inevitable.
Sam was having an awesome day. It had been about 2 months since he had met Joelle, but once he had met her he couldn't get enough. Once a week he had dinner with her, so Donna could have some time to herself. He saw both girls together for a few hours once a week too. He loved Joelle, but it was so hard not to talk about her when Josh was around. Tonight he was going to take Joelle to see the new Disney movie, and he could barely wait to go pick her up .
As he sat there pondering if he should let her have candy at the movie, his phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey Sam, I know I never call you at the office, but I have a major emergency."
"Donna? Is that you? What's wrong?"
"Yeah its me. Look, don't freak out or anything, but on my way home from picking up Joelle there was an accident."
"What kind of accident?" Sam demanded "Where are you? Is anyone hurt?"
"We were going through an intersection, and this drunk driver ran through a red light and right into our car. We are at the hospital. Joelle is fine, but I need to stay here for a while. I was wondering if you could come pick her up, and maybe take care of her for a few days?" Donna was beginning to beg, "I wouldn't call you, but I have no one else to turn to."
"Of course I will come, and take Joelle for a while. But what is wrong with you? Did they tell you anything?"
"I'll explain when you get here, but please hurry up."
"I'm coming right now" he promised. So much for the movies tonight, he thought, as he stood up and grabbed his coat.
"I thought you said you had to leave at 4:00 today." Josh stopped him, "Its only like 1:30, and we just got back from lunch. As your chief advisor, I am advising you not to work so little everyday. You'll never get elected if you do not dedicate all your time and energy."
"I know Josh, I know, but an emergency just came up. I have to leave right now, and maybe take the next few days off from work."
"Sam, you can't do that. We just got the Democratic nomination, and right now your head really needs to be in the game. Besides, what emergency is there that only you can take care of? We are not in the Whitehouse yet, so its not a national issue."
"Okay, look, a friend of mine was in a car accident. She just came to town a few months ago, and she had no one else to turn to."
"So what can you do? Go visit her in a few hours, when you do not have piles of things to do," Josh reasoned.
"I really have to go now, but I'll explain it to you tonight. Stop by my place with some work for me to do later on tonight." By the time he had finished, he was already out the door, and on his way to go get Joelle.
When Sam got to the hospital, he went up to the front desk to ask about the girls. The lady behind the computer looked up, and recognized him from the television. He explained what the girls looked like, and that they were brought here after a car accident. Immediately the woman knew who he was talking about.
"Follow me, and I'll bring you to Ms. Moss," She offered.
Sam trailed closely behind her, right up to the family center. Inside, Joelle was playing with a teddy bear.
"Hey there Joe, how are you doing?" He asked as he kneeled down in front of the little girl. She looked up at him with wide tear brimmed eyes, dropped the bear, jumped into his arms and began to cry.
"I'll check back in with you in a little while Mr. Seaborn."
"Wait," he called before the nurse left, "Where is her mother? Where is Donna?"
"I'll send in a doctor to speak with you." At that, the nurse left.
By now Joelle had stopped crying. "Do you want to come stay at my house for a little while?" Joelle nodded Still to shaken up to speak. "Hey, I have an idea. Lets stop by your house and get some clothing and toys. How does that sound?" Again the girl just nodded. Sam was not exactly sure what to do, normally he was the speechless one who just nodded. He had also never taken care of a little kid before.
As he sat on the floor with Joelle in his lap, a Doctor peered into the room. "Are you Mr. Samuel Seaborn?" The doctor inquired.
"Yes, I am."
"Hello, my name is Dr. Clarke. I am the doctor that took care of Donna when she arrived at the hospital today. In the accident she sustained a slight concussion and 3 breaks to her left arm. Unfortunately, in order to fix her arm and cast it properly, a surgeon was needed to set the bones. Before she went in for the surgery, she called you and left written instructions for the hospital to release Joelle to you."
"That is quite a bit to take in. So Donna will be alright?" Sam waited for the doctor to nod before he continued, "Can I take Joelle to see her before we leave?"
"I do not see why that would be a problem, but I must warn you. She is still unconscious from the surgery. She is on floor 3, in recovery room 347."
"Will I be called when she wakes up?"
"I think that can be arranged."
"Thank you Dr. Clark." Sam stood up, still with Joelle in his arms, shifted her onto his hip, and shook hands with the doctor. He then left to go to Donna's room. He let Joelle say goodbye to her mommy, then he kissed her forehead and they left.
After a quick stop at Donna's house to get necessities (he knew where the spare key was hidden), Sam had taken Joelle to an early dinner at Freddy's Pizza Joint. At dinner, the girl had returned to her former loud and chatty self. They returned to Sam's house, and were just putting in Aladdin, Joelle's favorite movie, when the door bell rang. Sam left Joelle on the couch, and went to go answer the door.
"So, what could have been so important that you are already back home after only like 4 hours? I bet your friend is just fine."
"Hello to you too, Josh." Sam said sarcastically, as he opened the door to let his friend in. "Yes, my friend will be fine, but she has to stay at the hospital for a few more days."
As these words were still coming out of his mouth, Joelle stuck her head into the room. "Sam!", she demanded, "you forgot to turn on the movie." While she spoke she walked up to the two men, and tugged on Sam's shirt. "Who are you?" She asked pointing at Josh.
Josh was absolutely stunned. He had no idea what was going on, who this little kid was, or what he should do about it. Luckily, he did not have to do anything since Sam spoke first.
"Josh, why don't you go sit down at the table. I'll help out Joe, and then come explain everything to you." When Josh nodded and started towards the table, Sam picked up Joelle and headed back into the living room. Before pressing the play button, Sam explained to Joelle, "I am going to be in the kitchen talking to my friend Josh. Come in and get me if you need anything."
Josh was sitting at the table, but he was not as speechless as before. "Who the hell was that?" Josh yelled, "What the hell is going on? And what are you not telling me?"
"Okay, clearly you have a lot of questions and I have a lot of explaining to do, but first we need to set a few ground rules. Number one, no yelling. Number two, no cursing, she is an impressionable youth. And number three, you need to stay calm. The last thing that girl needs is another trip to the hospital today, because you have a heart attack. Are we clear?"
"I'll be calm if you start explaining right now!!!"
"That is fair enough," Sam reasoned out loud, "the girl's name is Joelle. Her mother is the friend I went to visit in the hospital. I am not her father, just a friend. She has never had a relationship with her father, so I agreed to help out until her mom is released."
"That is one hell of a story," Sam gave Josh a pointed look. "Sorry, I forgot about the curse thing. But my point is the same, the press is not going to buy that story. Someone is going to see you taking care of that three year old kid, assume its yours and then we are going to have a game of mudslinging. Already the press is at you, because you are the one of the first candidates in resent history not to be a family man. The rest of them have at least had the courtesy of having an ex-wife. If all of the sudden, they thought you had an illegitimate kid then the race would be over. The republicans would campaign 'family values' and you would be done for. Even if she was proved not to be your kid."
"A DNA test can always be done, if it comes to it, but I think that we can spin it positively. We can tell the press it's a 'Daddy Warbucks' type of deal. Besides, I am sure the public doesn't care if I help a friend take care of her kid. If anything, it should make me more loveable." This last line was accompanied by a huge grin. "Oh, and Joelle is four. She is just a little small for her age."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Nothing, but in your little rant, you said that she was three. It's not true, she is four."
"What difference does it make how old she is?" An exasperated Josh asked. All Sam could do was shrug. Joelle was always telling people how old she was. Sam thought it was because she knew just how small she really was. He didn't know why it mattered, but to Joelle it did so it did to him.
The rest of the night had passed quickly. Josh had spent a little time with Joelle while Sam had worked. He had been reminded of someone very familiar by this small girl. He could not put his finger on who it was, but he too had fallen for this angel of a child.
When bed-time had come Joelle had stayed in the extra bed room, while Josh had slept on the couch. This had been a bad plan, because like every other little kid, Joelle could not sleep past 8:00. When she made her way down stairs, she went to her newest friend and whispered (in a not so quiet whisper), "Time to get up Josh. Its late, your going to be late."
Joelle had chosen this method for waking up Josh for one reason, it was the only thing that worked on her mommy. Even when there was no work and nothing to do that day, her mom always popped out of bed when someone told her she was late.
Josh did jump right out of bed, and it was exactly because of what Joelle had done. Her voice and her words had been a direct echo of Donna. It was only because he had yet to have any coffee, that he did not demand to know the girl's last name. Instead, he slowly sat up and looked at Joelle, who was currently staring intently at a cartoon.
Before Josh could say anything the phone rang. Sam dashed to the phone quickly and after grunting a few times, said "thank you" and hung up.
"Joe, go get on some clothing. That phone call was from the hospital. Your mom woke up late last night, she has been asking for you. We can catch some breakfast at the hospital."
"What about Josh?"
"What about him? He can go home, get cleaned up, and get to work so that at least one of us will be there."
"Doesn't he want to see mommy?" Instead of answering himself, Sam just looked at Josh. Taking the hint very slowly Josh turned towards the girl.
"I want to see your mom really badly, but I think she will feel better about meeting me if she is not hospitalized," Josh answered. He desperately wanted to see Joelle's mom, but first he had to make sure it really was Donna. "I think Sam is right," he added, "I will go to work and maybe later on you and your mom can stop by one day to visit Sam and you can visit me too."
Sam could only sigh. This was just the break he needed to explain everything to Donna. Now he just had to hope everything did not fall apart when they saw each other again.
The hospital never looked happy, even when you knew that the person you cared about was okay. Joelle stopped talking as soon as they entered the building. The elevator ride was unnervingly quiet, until Joelle could not take it any longer. She walked up to a teenage boy sitting in a wheelchair, and started to talk.
"Hello," she started, "my name is Joelle and I am here cause my mommy woke up. What about you?"
"I'm Adam," the boy could not help but smile at Joelle, "and I came here because I am sick."
"You don't look sick," Joelle told him with a tilt of her head, "maybe they made a mistake."
At that the boy had to laugh, "I am sick, but the sickness lives so deep inside that you can't see it."
Sam was very surprised by his answer, it was so child appropriate. Adam could see this so he said to Sam, "That was how they first explained it to me when I was five." He then offered his hand to me, "Your daughter is really cute. I hope your wife feels better." And with that he got ready to get off the elevator. Sam knew he only had time to say one thing. It was not worth it to correct the teenager, so instead he asked the one question on his mind.
"Wait," Sam called, "what do you have?"
Adam called back over his shoulder, "Leukemia". The door to the elevator then closed.
There rode for a few more seconds of silence. When they got off on the fourth floor Joelle asked, "What does that mean?"
"There is something wrong in his blood."
"Is he gonna die?" She all but whispered, "Cause I never met someone who was gonna die before."
Sam did not know what to say, everything seemed wrong. He decided to go with the truth. "Well," he explained slowly, "Adam is very sick but the doctors are doing everything they can to help." Thankfully, he was cut off from having to finish his answer as they arrived at Donna's room.
Joelle's visit with Donna was very touching, but uneventful. She mentioned her new friend who had come over to visit Sam, but before Donna could ask his name Sam motioned for her to stop. Sam quickly brought Joe into the playroom on that floor, and then returned to tell Donna the whole story.
"Which friend came over?"
"Before you get mad at me, I want to tell you the whole story."
"Who was it?"
"Josh," Sam winced, "but there was nothing I could do about it."
"Okay, tell me the story. Now!"
"He came over to give me work to do, and she came into the room. I told him as little as I possibly could. He doesn't know her last name, or your name, or even where you live. All he knows is that you are in the hospital. There was one small problem..."
"Out with it already."
"He loves her. Joelle endears herself to everyone she meets, now Josh is as big of a Joe Fan as I am. He even promised that they could hang out again."
"I knew this was going to happen," Donna signed, "with you in our lives helping out so much Josh was bound to see Joelle sooner or later. I knew all along, that once they met I was never going to be able to get him out of her life. I suppose I just hoped there would be a little bit more time."
"Time for what?"
"I don't know. Maybe to have my daughter to myself, maybe to not have to face Josh. Maybe just to live a simpler life." With that Donna stopped contemplating what was going to happen to her life. "Sam, I really need to rest a little more. Could you keep Joe for another night?"
"Anything to help."
"Thanks." Donna turned her head away and drifted off into her own world. Sam picked up Joelle, and headed home. On the way out they stopped to say goodbye to Adam. Sam did not notice that Josh had followed them into the hospital, nor that he had seen Donna. Joelle had seen Josh, but she had thought it was all part of a game. She did not say anything to anyone.
Slowly, Josh inched open the door to Donna's hospital room. He could hardly comprehend what was happening. Joelle was his kid. He had a daughter. Even though he was not supposed to know about his child, Sam did knowAlong with these thoughts came the thoughts that would have occurred to him with or without Joelle. Donna was hurt, and with was very bad. Donna was also worried. More importantly though, Donna was in DC, in the same building as him. Donna was Home.
Josh could not help but grin as all of these things ran through his head. Standing in the doorway, he could see her still form laying on the bed. Her hair was darker, but it looked as soft as ever. Not that much had changed about her body, and Josh thought she looked beautiful. She looked curvier, probably from having Joelle, and it made her seem that much more amazing.
"Are you just going to stand in the doorway, or are you going to come in already?" Donna asked from the bed without even opening her eyes.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
"I know that." There was a brief silence before Donna offered, "Are you going to come in or not?"
Seeing this as the best opportunity he was going to get, Josh came into the room and sat down in a chair next to Donna's bed. A few moments passed without a word. Donna had resumed her sleep-like state, and Josh did not want to wake her if she was sleeping.
"I don't know where to start," Donna whispered, "I guess you have a lot of questions. Maybe it would be best if you asked whatever you wanted, I don't think I can handle telling the whole story from start to finish."
With a deep breath, Josh nodded and began, "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant before you left? We could have handled it together."
"Honestly, I did not know I was pregnant when I left. I ran so fast and so quickly that when I finally settled down, I realized something was different. Joelle came soon after."
"But then why did you leave? I don't understand what I did to make you run."
"I went to your apartment one night, after both of us had had bad day. When I came into your room I saw you with Amy. The only thing that I could think of was to take a break, go away for a while and find myself. I had planned on coming back, but Joelle changed everything."
"I don't know what Sam has told you about the past four years, but I have had a few relationships with Amy and none of them worked out. We have always been horrible for each other, we clashed at every turn. I know that now, but you knew that when you left."
"That maybe true, but I was very upset and emotional and I did not see how you could explain it. Can you explain it?"
"No, I can't. She and I ran into each other, I was in a bad place, and with her I just let everything go. I didn't care about her, so I didn't have to be careful or loving. It was just a bad decision during a dark time."
"I guess that's all there is to it then. Is there anything else you want to know?"
Josh looked at Donna, really looked. She was tired emotionally and physically, but he had to know more. If she left tomorrow there were things he had to tell her and things he wanted to know.
"Joelle said that when you think no one is listening, you talk about me. Is that true?"
"Joelle was being sweet, I don't talk about you; I cry over you."
"Did you still love me when you left?"
"Yes," Donna answered, "But did you still love me when you were with Amy these past few years?"
"Of course I did Donna, I never stopped loving you. Even now, I still love you."
"What about Joelle? Do you think you will ever be able to love her?"
"I already do. I loved her before I knew she was my daughter, before I realized she was your daughter." They stared at each other intently for a moment before Josh got up the courage to ask the question that he had wanted to ask from the beginning. He asked, "Do you still love me?"
"I try to stop every day, but whenever I look at Joelle I see you. I wanted to stop loving you but I couldn't do it, I couldn't force myself." She took a deep breath, and looked Josh right in the eye before finishing, "I still love you, Josh, I couldn't stop."
"Hey Adam," Joelle began to ask while sitting down next to him on the bed, "why are you still here in the hospital? Can't you go home?"
Adam looked at the little girl sitting next to him. This was her third visit with him, and it would probably be her last. Today her mother was going home. He knew he was going to miss her, and the company she provided.
"No Joelle, I can't go home." He pause for a moment to figure out what to tell the little girl, "My mom died when I was born, and once I got sick my dad left too. I live here now, because I have no place to go; besides I'm still to sick to leave."
"I don't have a dad either, but I don't think my mommy would ever leave."
"Isn't that Sam guy who keeps dropping you off, your dad?"
"Nope, he is just my friend. What part of you is sick now? Still your blood?"
"No, they fixed my blood. Now I need a kidney and there is no one to give it to me. Right now I am on a waiting list for the next one that is available."
"Can I give you a kidney?"
"Sorry kiddo, but no. It is dangerous to give up an organ, and I don't want to see you put into danger. Even for me."
When Sam got to Donna's room, he was more then just surprised by what he saw. There was Josh, fast asleep in the chair next to the bed normally occupied by Donna, but Donna was not in the bed.
"Looking for me?" Donna's voice questioned from behind Sam.
"It looks like you had an interesting night."
"That could be the understatement of the century."
"Are you ready to start the release papers? The guy at the front desk said it could take a while."
"Yeah, I am more then ready to leave the hospital, but I think we should let Josh sleep. We can collect him before we leave."
"What ever you want my dear."
"Thanks Sam, for everything, especially for watching Joelle. Where is she, but the way?"
"She asked to visit a new friend she made, he lives in the oncology ward." Sam paused and looked at Donna, she motioned for him to go on. "He's this 16 year old kid with Leukemia. She met him in the elevator. He is a cool guy." As they spoke, they made their way to the front desk, and began to fill out the large stack of paperwork it took to bring Donna home. "You know, with your arm in a cast like that, your going to need some help around the house and with Joelle."
"I know Sam, I have been thinking about it and I think what I really need is a break from everything. I'm going to call up President Bartlet, and ask if Joe and I can spend a week up in Manchester on the farm with him. I think what we really need is a break. Besides, I need to start introducing Joelle to everyone."
"That sounds like a good plan, I was just going to suggest that you use this opportunity to bring Josh back into your life. He could help out, and you guys could get to know each other again."
"I think that sounds exactly like the opposite of what I am trying to do. I don't want him back in my life, it is too hard, and it makes everything to complicated. I'll tell Joelle that he is her father, but that's all I can handle."
All Sam could do was nod, he did not like the idea. Josh and Donna were meant to be together, and sooner or later they would realize it.
Both Josh and Joelle were collected without incident. After a very convincing speech about how she could take care of herself, Donna and Joelle were finally left alone in their home.
"Hey baby, what do you think about going on a vacation to visit one of your grandpas?" Donna asked Joelle as they ate dinner.
"Okay, that would be fun. Could we take Josh and Sam and Adam with us?"
"No, I think it is going to be just the two of us."
"Okay."
"Joe, there is something I have to tell you." Donna said as she put down her fork, "It is very important so I need you to listen to me, okay?" Joelle nodded and Donna continued, "Josh is your Father. He hurt me very badly before you were born, and he didn't know you were his daughter until yesterday. He really does love you, but he can't be in our lives."
"Why not?"
"Josh is a good man, but he is really good at making mistakes. Everyone makes them, but he has done some really bad things, things that I can't forgive him for."
"But mommy, he's my friend."
"I know, I'm sorry baby, maybe we can take about it again after he have had some time to think. Lets just have a good time on vacation, deal?"
"Deal" Joelle agreed.
After dinner was finished Donna went to call Jed. The phone conversation went amazingly well all things considered. He was eager to meet Joelle and to see Donna again. Before Donna hung up, Joelle asked to speak with him. They spoke briefly but by the time phones were hung up, everyone was smiling and looking forward to the upcoming visit.
The trip to Manchester was long and very tiring. Because Donna only had one good arm, they had to hire a car service to drive them up. By the time they reached the farm, Joelle had an intense case of cabin fever. Donna, too, was ready to do something other then sit.
"Donna! It is so good to see you!" The former president greeted as the girls go out of the car. "Who is this little woman you brought with you?"
"I'm Joelle," she greeted and stuck out her hand.
"You can call me Grandpa Jed." He told the girl, while glancing at Donna. She nodded her approval, and he smiled at both girls.
He took Joelle by the hand, and winked at Donna. "Hey Joelle, I have an idea. Why don't you and I get to know each other while your mom has some time to herself?"
At Joelle's emphatic nod, Donna gave Jed a kiss on the check, whispered a quick thank you, and when inside to unwind. Jed and Joelle went around the house in order to have more space to walk. When they got to the back porch, though, there was a large box with tiny holes in it.
"What's that Grandpa Jed?"
"That box over there is your birthday present."
"But, its not my birthday" Joelle stated in a confused voice, "Its not even September yet."
"I know it is not time for your birthday this year, but I have four years worth of birthdays to make up for. Consider this your present from every birthday I have had to miss."
Joelle went to the box, and carefully lifted off the top. Staring up at her from inside, was a small brown and white dog.
"That," said Jed, "is a welsh corgi. He is only a pup now, but when he gets older he will still be small. What do you think?"
Joelle turned towards Jed and gave him a huge hug. "Thanks Grandpa Jed, this is one of the best presents I have ever gotten."
She sat there playing with the dog for a few moments. Jed watched her play contently, before asking, "What are you going to name him?"
"I am going to call him Charlie." With that she flashed him the biggest dimples she could muster, and went to pet her new friend. Jed could only smile at the name she had innocently picked for her dog. He hoped that her Charlie would be just as reliable as his had been.
Later that night, after dinner was eaten and the table was cleaned up, the trio went to watch the speech Sam was giving about violence in schools and the need to protect today's youth.
As they watched Sam speak, a loud sound was heard and chaos erupted in the conference hall. The camera went black, and the news anchors at the desk apologized for the problems with the footage. They began to explain what had happened. There was a sniper who shot at Sam. As soon as the first shot left his gun, he was taken down by a security detail. More information would be released as to if anyone else was hurt.
Late into the night, the three stayed up with their eyes glued to the television. They had not been able to get through to Josh or Sam on their cell phones. The most resent update from the hospital put Sam unconscious in the hospital having sustained a shot to his lung and spinal cord. There were no other major injuries in the whole room, just minor scraps from people fighting to leave the building as quickly as possible.
"What's gonna happen if Sam can't wake up?" Joelle asked Jed, while her mother was in the other room, trying to get into contact with anyone in DC.
"Well, I happen to know for a fact, that Sam is an organ donor. That means that if the doctors decided he can't live without the help of machines, his inside parts, like lungs, kidneys and heart with go to someone who needs them."
"Is Adam gonna get Sam's kidney?"
"Who is Adam?"
"He's my friend, who lives in the hospital. He's blood used to be sick, but now he has a sick kidney. He needs a new one."
"Well, Joe, I don't know if he will get Sam's kidney, but I am sure they will find one for him."
When Donna came back into the room, she was silently crying. She picked up Joelle, and sat on the couch. "I just got off the phone with Josh, he said that the doctors have no hope for Sam. They said he was brain dead, but since he has a donor card they are going to harvest his organs before they let him go." She paused, took a deep breath, and looked down at Joelle. "One of his kidneys is going to your friend Adam."
The flight back to DC had been painfully quiet. Joelle had been near tears the whole trip. Jed had decided to stay in Manchester, his health not being up to the traveling. Adam was doing well. He had recovered well from the operation, and now everyone was waiting to see if his body excepted the kidney. He was leaving the hospital for the afternoon against the orders of his doctors in order to attend Sam's funeral.
The shear number of people who had shown up for the funeral was astounding. All of his friend, relatives, coworkers, party-mates, and supporters wanted to say a final goodbye. In order to allow the actual ceremony to be privet, all of those without a direct tie to Sam were paying tribute to him in the morning. Once the lines of people were done, the body was moved to the cemetery where all of Sam's loved ones waited.
Donna was not sure what she expected when she got off the plane, but a big bear hug from Toby was not it. Weary for a moment before she realized what was going on, she stepped in front of Joelle.
"CJ wanted to be the one to pick you up, but I picked the short straw."
"I'm glad you did, it's so great to see you."
"And I you, although I think I had more reason to be excited then you did. After all, I haven't been hiding a kid from my best friends for the past four years."
Smirking in response, Donna stepped to the side so Toby could see the small scared girl standing behind her. Joelle looked worse for the wear, she had been traveling all day and she just lost someone she loved.
"Who might you be?" Toby asked kneeling down next to Joelle, "and where has your mommy been hiding you?"
"I'm Joelle Lila Moss," she sniffed, "and I was not hiding. I have been in California this whole time. Who are you?"
"I'm Toby Zeigler, I used to work with your mom in the White House."
"With Grandpa Jed?"
"Yes, with President Bartlet. Say, why don't we all go back to Josh's house so you girls can change for the funeral. There are also a whole lot of people who want to meet you."
"I don't want to go to Josh's house, I don't like him. Can't we just go home?" She looked up at Donna for approval. Donna's heart broke at the thought that her daughter would say that just to make her happy.
"Why don't you like Josh? He said you were friends."
"That was only pretend. In real life I don't like him cause he hurt mommy. It was a really long time ago, before he was my dad. But I still won't forgive him cause I love my mommy too much." To emphasize her last point she hugged Donna, who was just as dumbfounded as Toby by the girl's answer.
"Joe, honey, you don't have to be mad at Josh just because I am. Besides, even if we don't like Josh right now we have to go to his house. That is where everyone is, and you have got a lot of people to be introduced to. They all worked with Toby and me in the White House."
Joelle only nodded, she slipped one small hand into Toby's grip and grabbed her bag with the other. Together, the trio made their way to the crowded bag carousel, and then home.
Everyone at Josh's house was intrigued by, and endeared to Joelle. Donna had a much needed and long awaited reunion with all of her old friends. Adam called to say he would meet them at the cemetery. According to the insistence of Donna, Charlie was left at Josh's house for the ceremony.
The cemetery was packed when the train of cars arrived. The rows of seats immediately surrounding the grave were saved for those who had been at Josh's house. Joelle found Adam sitting in a wheelchair in one of the first rows. She was seated in his lap within a matter of seconds.
The ceremony was long and touching. Countless numbers of people came up and eulogized Sam. Stories were told from every point in his life, everyone bringing fresh tears to the assembled crowd. Joelle spent the whole time sitting on Adam's lap, her eyes brimming with tears. Although the tears never once stopped flowing from her wide brown eyes, she did not actually cry. This is more then can be said for most people who witnessed the sad service.
When all was said and done, everyone quietly retreated back to their homes. No one was in the mood to catch up anymore. Josh, Joelle, Adam, and Donna were the last to leave. Everyone else had places to go, business to wrap up, or flights home to catch.
As Donna watched Adam and Joelle interact, she was struck with an idea. "Adam," she asked, "I know you have no place to go once the hospital releases you. I was wondering if you wanted to come stay with Joelle and me. We have a couple of extra rooms, and I could always use an extra pair of hands around the house."
"Ms. Moss I would love to stay with you two. Being around Joelle and yourself is the most at home I have felt in a long time."
"Good, then it's settled. When we go to drop you off at the hospital, I'll pick up the paper work. We will get everything sorted out by the time you are ready to go home."
Joelle, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the whole conversation, chose this moment to speak up. "I think I like that plan a lot." She looked thoughtful for a moment, then she climbed off of Adam's lap, and kissed Sam's grave stone. "See you soon," she whispered.
"Donna, we need to talk." Donna looked up from her desk to see Josh.
"How did you get in here?" Donna questioned, when she saw him. In all honesty, Josh was the last person she expected to see in her office.
"The lady at the front desk told me which office you are in. It was easy." He paused for a moment, and looked her in the eye. "There are a few things I want to say to you, things we need to go over."
Donna sighed, closed her lap-top, and motioned for Josh to sit in the guest chair. "What is it?"
"The other day, in the hospital, we...Donna...I told you that I loved you, that I still love you. You said that you loved me too, and that you still do."
"I remember Josh. A lot has happened since then, but it is not the type of confession that fades quickly from memory." She replied flippantly.
"All I am trying to say is, I really think we should give it another try."
"No" Donna replied shortly, then she opened up her computer and resumed typing.
"Wait, Donna, hear me out. Please." He was pleading now, and she felt bad.
"Say what ever it is you came here to say."
"I really do love you. I also love Joelle, and want to be a part of her life. She is my daughter, and I think that both she and I deserve a chance to get to know each other. I want to be with you, and to be a family. It could work. WE can work."
"Josh, I am going to be honest with you. I do not want to be romantically involved with you. Not right now, not for a little while. Maybe once everything settles down in my life, I would consider starting a relationship with you again. Until then, I want what is best for Joelle. If she wants to spend time with you, then I have no problem with it; but I will not force you on her just because you love her."
"I suppose that sounds fair. I don't necessarily like it, but it sounds fair."
"I know, and I hope you understand that it is what is best for us now."
"I do understand that we can't be a family now. None of us are ready, but maybe some time in the future. Sometime soon."
"Maybe"
END