A/N: I know that I have not yet depicted Link as a sensitive, intelligent person, but it's like he's just following me around, saying, "Avie, make me stupid!" or even, "Avie, make me sadistic!" I'm sorry to say that in this particular fic, he is the latter. But it's funny. Very funny. This was inspired by my sister actually doing this exact same thing. She played, I watched. She says it's fun. I wouldn't know, with my head constantly in the clouds. Besides, when the plot bunny commands, you obey.
Link docked his boat and jumped onto the boardwalk that led to Windfall Island. He'd been here many times, but this time he fairly ran from his boat, ignoring its pleas for him to sail around saving stuff. Aryll was with the pirates; she was safe. It wasn't like he was neglecting to rescue her, and he really needed a day off. Being a hero isn't easy, no matter what anyone says.
He wasn't ready to enter the village yet, so he wandered around the grassy area in front of the bomb shop. Those two little gossips kept staring at him. He was edgy. And then, he saw the pigs.
They were just waddling around, burying their noses in the grass, oinking, minding their own business. Link was bored. A bored Link and any sort of defenseless wild animal were not a good combination. Grinning, Link pulled out his boomerang. Aiming carefully, he threw it and hit each of the piglets.
However, instead of running around and squealing in terror, they froze. Link scowled. This wasn't the reaction he wanted.
He put his boomerang away and got down on his belly. Silently he inched toward one of the piglets. When he was near enough, he sprang to his feet, drew his sword, and gave the pig a good whack with the flat of his blade. It leaped into the air. Link began to laugh. But then -
The pig flushed red with anger!
Link took off at a dead run, his legs pumping frantically. Yet the piglet remained at his heels. And now, the other two were joining it! Link ran faster.
He ran through the archway and into the village. But though the village streets were packed, everyone ignored his frantic cries for help. He threaded up and down, in and out of pathways, but the pigs were in hot pursuit.
In a mindless feat of desperation, Link ran up to the cliff where the weird guy in an Elvis outfit danced all the time. He pushed past the guy, knocking him off balance, and leapt off the side of the cliff. To his amazement, the pigs followed. But when they hit the water, they returned to their normal color and stopped thrashing around!
Link swam to shore, thoroughly relieved. The pigs followed shortly behind him, and when they reached land, they became their passive, snorting selves again.
Link sighed and wiped his forehead. Then, he heard the King of Red Lions calling. He realized - he was still bored. And the chase, although he could have died, had been really fun, now that he thought about. So he stealthily dropped to the grass and crept up behind one of the pigs. Jumping up, he smacked it with the sword.
And the chase was on!
A/N: Really weird, really nonsensical - I love it! Please review!