Random Author's Note:

Thanks again for the reviews everyone! I love the feed back and I get a lot of my plot flow from them as well, so I should thank each and everyone of you for your help as well. Children crack me up, I've always gotten along with kids really well, maybe because I'm such a big moron myself (giggles). I come from a family with a warped sense of humor…so that might explain some things….My son has inherited it as well, once I got mad at him when I thought he lost the channel changer for my TV and he innocently looks at me and goes, "Would you be mad if it was in the freezer…". Of course it wasn't in the freezer sitting next to the frozen vegetables, but to this day, I have no idea what made him think of something like that…I love the way children's minds work, so innocent and creative, not to mention manipulative, LOL…I hope I can portray that in little Kenji chan….

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Chapter 4

Kenji squirmed in his mother's arms, twisting away from her comforting hug to glare at his father. His normally pale eyes were dark with anger, and his little body tightened like a hunter's quiver against his mother's chest. "NO! Very, very BAD! " He bared his teeth at his father and growled, watching the older man who sat slumped on the porch, rubbing his head gingerly.

"Mou, Kenji chan! Calm down, I said it's okay!" Kaoru replied to her son sternly. Her face was still pale with embarrassment. Who could blame the boy for being confused? Intimacy and passion were things he was far from learning, and discovering his father and mother in a compromising position could only be imagined as frightening. It was their own fault for not behaving responsibly and retreating to their room to continue their playful adult games in privacy. Kenji was a nitorious wanderer, stalking the dojo grounds in the middle of the night until his father got up to send him off back to bed, it was only inevitable that he discovered them.

Kenji hissed at his father once more before turning to look at his mother. "He tried to eat you!" he cried, grabbing his mother's face and inspecting her closely for wounds or bruises. He shoved his small fingers into her mouth, ignoring her muffled and shocked protests until he was satisfied everything was intact.

Kenshin closed one eye, wincing at the sharp pain in his head as he tried to stand up. "Damn, he's got good aim," he thought to himself, glancing at the shoe that had bounced off his head and now rested on the steps of the porch. He used the pillar to pull himself up, leaning heavily against it as the world rotated around him. "I wasn't going to eat your mother Kenji chan," Kenshin groaned. He felt his cheeks redden slightly as he addressed his son and found it hard to meet the boys angry gaze. "I wasn't going to eat your mother? Kami sama, that sounded so stupid! What do I tell him?" Kenshin groaned again and put a hand to his aching skull, trying to devise a way to advert his son's fears and distract him.

"There was something in your mother's eye, that there was," he replied shakily, trying to muster up the strength for his gentle and innocent rurouni smile.

Kenji eyed his father suspiciously, his small face drawn into a disapproving frown. He glanced back at his mother, who smiled weakly and nodded her head in affirmation. There was a long and strained silence as he pondered the situation, looking back and forth between his mother and father. "Why'd you try to take mama's clothes off then?" Kenji's scowl darkened. He was no idiot. Oh, he would have believed the eye story if it hadn't been for the state of his mother's yukata. Her sash was undone, and half of it was draped around her shoulder in the most obscene and improper way a young boy could imagine.

Kenshin wanted to crawl under the porch and die. In his head, he knew that one day he'd have to explain the facts of life to his son, but he never imagined having to do so at the age of six. He had been twelve when Hiko explained it all to him, and Kenshin cringed at the vulgarity of the conversation. His master pulled no punches, nor did he mince words. Kenshin was told what went where and why in specific detail with no fancy poetry of love, tenderness, and romance. Maybe that was why he had no interest in the teahouses while working for the Imperialist government, being too appalled at his master's teachings to even think about sex.

Kenji was still watching him, waiting for an answer that Kenshin wasn't ready to give him.

Kaoru cleared her throat and turned Kenji to face her, mustering up the sweetest smile she could in such a situation, trying to hide her embarrassment. She could see that Kenshin would have no quick responses this time, his old-fashioned properness and own shyness inhibiting his senses for the time being. "Kenji chan, kitten, let your father go to bed. He looks like he needs to lay down anyway." She gave a swift jerk of the head, motioning for her husband to make a retreat to their room, "And I'll tuck you into bed…again."

Kenji stared at his mother, his eyes telling her he wasn't going to just let this die. He wanted an explanation and would have to have one or he'd torment his father until he figured it all out for himself. Kaoru doubted that Kenshin could survive. She sighed and hugged her child to her closely, glancing at her husband briefly before she disappeared around the corner.

***********

"Kenji, you really shouldn't throw things at your father," Kaoru scolded her son gently, "You could have hurt him pretty badly." She pulled her son's covers up around his neck and smoothed the wrinkles from the sheets, smiling at how much he looked like his father. They were so much alike, yet so different. Kenshin was mild mannered and gentle, rarely acting out of pure rashness or on a whim. Kenji could be gentle, but was far more reactive and spirited. He was a quiet child, like his father, but much more expressive in his actions and his eyes. He hid nothing from anyone and had a knack for reading people's hearts. Kaoru supposed he got his feisty spirit from her side of the family, knowing how she was explosive and occasionally violent, not thinking things through before she reacted. She smiled and ran her finger's through her son's unruly hair, dreaming of the fine man he'd grow to be some day.

"So…" Kenji stated, staring at his mother with pale, crystalline eyes.

"So what, Kenji chan?" She asked innocently, hoping he would be diverted from the question's bouncing in his head.

Kenji narrowed his eyes at his mother, "What was father doing?"

Kaoru sighed and blushed, glad for the darkness of her son's room. Somehow the lack of light made her feel more comfortable, shading her embarrassment and feelings from the small boy that lay in front of her. "Well, Kenji…" she started, trying to think of a decent excuse with out really telling him a lie. "Sometimes big people like to be close to each other. They don't hurt each other…" She could feel a clammy sweat beading on her skin and she swallowed hard.

"That close?" Kenji asked, then he pointed to her yukata.

"Ummm, yes Kenji. It's how mommies and daddies show each other their love."

Kenji didn't get it, but the thought of pressing his face so close to someone and taking their clothes off was disgusting to say the least. He was absolutely repulsed by the idea and utterly confused. His mother loved him very much but never did anything like that to him, it didn't make any sense. He cringed and frowned harder, "Why?" It was more of a demand than a question.

Kaoru gulped and cursed her child's persistence, "Why what, Kenji chan?"

"Why take off your clothes?" He shuddered and glared at her disapprovingly.

"Your not going to let this go, are you chibi chan?" Kaoru's thoughts muttered. Well, if he wasn't going to let it go she'd have to tell him the truth. Or a half-truth, leaving out as much detail as possible.

"Well, Kenji, it's something mommies and daddies do when they make a baby. They have to take their clothes off." Kaoru could feel her cheeks burning and she pulled at the collar of her sleeping robe.

Kenji squished his face up. This was getting far to weird and now he was completely confused and befuddled. His father had told him mommies and daddies had to make little brothers earlier that day, but this made no sense what so ever. "Don't you have to be in the kitchen to do that?" he asked bluntly.

************

Kaoru returned to her room several hours later, her son was relentless in his interrogation, but she finally coaxed him into hearing a story and drifted off into sleep quickly there after.

She slid the door open and leaned against the frame, watching the gentle rise and fall of the blankets where her husband slept. She giggled slightly, wondering what his bakamastu counterparts would think if they saw their hitokiri now, waylaid by a child's shoe and sent off to bed by a tiny, sword wielding woman. How ironic it all was, the most dangerous man in Japan leading the life of father and husband, tamed by the love of all his friends and family. How shocked they'd be to discover their fear was in vain, for the hitokiri battousai was not a dangerous man at all, instead, he was a loving and gentle person whose passions ran far deeper than any other human being. What a shame that they didn't know him at all, for he was truly a remarkable man.

She padded closer, being careful not to wake her sleeping husband, and slid in next to his firm frame. He made a slight noise and shifted over instinctively, allowing more room for his wife, but not really waking up in the process. She smiled lovingly at him, resting her head on his shoulder, and draping an arm across his chest. How lucky she was, to have such a man as he, and then be blessed with another, one that was a part of her and him. Life had certainly smiled upon her and for that she was grateful.

**********

Kenshin wobbled down the hall, following the distinct sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen. His head still throbbed and he made a mental note to take away Kenji's wooden sandals and replace them with ones like his own. He did not bother to change into a gi and hakama this morning, not really caring who saw him in his sleeping attire, deciding that since this was his house he'd do as he pleased. He was a little stunned at his bitter mood, but could not muster up the strength to force it away as he normally could. He wandered down the hall, his face set in impassive lines, and took his place for breakfast.

"Wow, you look horrible, Kenshin," Yahiko commented, his dark eyes glinting with mischief. He was tired himself, having sat up laughing half the night at his friends misfortune. He was very interested in how the two parents explained their amorous behavior to the young boy, but thought better than to ask at this moment.

"Thanks," Kenshin muttered, pouring himself a cup of tea and staring at it blankly for a few moments.

"Heard you had a rough night," Sano laughed, leaning back and tucking both hands behind his head.

Kenshin stared at his cup for a few moments then allowed his gaze to rise slowly, leveling the lanky gangster with a violet glare. "Sano, doesn't Megumi dono fix your meals for you now," he replied coolly, with only a hint of irritance in his voice.

Sano raised a brow at the small samurai, slightly hurt by the man's coldness. "She had to work early today and left me to fend for myself." He shrugged slightly and closed his eyes against the hard purple glare.

Kenshin grunted and sipped his tea in silence, not bothering to apologize for his gruffness. He had far to many things on his aching mind right now and did not want to deal with trivial chatter. Today was a day where he would prefer to be alone with his thoughts, not bothered with mundane banter. He would complete his chores, escort his wife and family to the river, then take a walk to gather his senses.

Kenji yelped as Yahiko stole a bite of rice from his bowl, stabbing at the older mans hand with his chopsticks. "Stop it baka!" he shouted, almost knocking his cup over in the process.

Kaoru set a tray down in front of Kenshin and snapped at her apprentice, "Let him be Yahiko!"

Kenshin picked up his chopsticks and nodded slightly, "Yes. Leave him alone." If he noticed the young man's startled look, he didn't show it. Instead he turned to Kenji and fixed him with an indifferent stare, "And Kenji, use proper manners at the table please. That means no eating with your fists." Leaving them with those words, the red haired samurai proceeded to eat his breakfast in utter silence.

********

"Whoa, what's with him today?" Sano asked Kaoru as they both watched the small swordsman disappear up the trail. Kenshin escorted them to the small pond, not bothering to say a word the entire way. After making sure everything was to his liking and his family was comfortable, he informed them he would be taking leave for the day, but would be back in time to walk home with them all. They were to wait for him until he returned.

Kenji threw a mild fit when his father refused to let him go with him, and Kenshin's reaction was surprising to say the least. He silenced the boy with a mere glance, pale violet eyes narrowed and his lips set into a thin frown. "Kenji, if you think your obnoxious behavior is going to win my favor, your very wrong, " he stated.

Everyone was stunned. Kenshin never spoke to his son in such a cold, unfriendly manner and the boy was usually the winner in such battles. Something was going on inside Kenshin's head and it was apparent he had no intention on making his thoughts clear just yet.

Kenji was dumbfounded by his father's response, as well as hurt. His father's coldness cut through him like a knife and chilled his bones. That was the least of his worries though, the man was hiding his emotions from him now, intentionally, and Kenji was left feeling half-empty and alone. Why was his father acting like this? Was he angry with him for throwing the shoe? Or was it because the trick he played on Yahiko? Kenji felt his lip tremble as he watched his father disappear over the trail and out of his sight.

***********

"I have no wish to succeed as the fourteenth Hiko Seijuro and continue the school, Master. I only want to pass on the ideals of the school."

The words Kenshin spoke to his master the day he learned the succession techniques rolled over and over in his head. The ideals of Hiten Mitsurugi, to protect the people from the suffering of the ages, were so much like Kamiya Kasshin, but still so very different. Using Hiten Mitsurugi, one could kill, and do it formidably. No one could oppose a master of the school, and power like that was often dangerous. Kenshin, himself, was living proof of that fact.

How many people died by his hand? He had not even mastered the school when he fought for the Imperialist Army. Those deaths had left his heart as torn and bleeding as the battlefields he stood on. He buried his pain and sorrow, allowing his heart to become black and distant, lying to himself that he was using the school the way it was meant to be used. With his sword, and the Hiten Mitsurugi School, the people of Japan would no longer suffer under the oppressive hand of the Tokagawa Shogunate.

It was a lie, and a horrible one at that. Hiten Mitsurugi was meant to spare people from pain and sorrow, but only as a free sword, never as a tool of any government or army. Kenshin failed to see that in his ignorance, and bloodied himself with his lies. Something inside him knew what he was doing was wrong, but he kept killing and killing and killing, until it almost became his undoing.

How easy it was to walk the line, being that it was such a fine line between right and wrong. It took nothing at all to slip and fall onto the side of darkness, a mere misjudgment with good intentions. There was no room for mistakes when learning the school and it was that fact that wrapped him in fear for his son's well being.

If he had not been such a stubborn youth, and listened to his master, he would have never known the passion of violence that came with war. Kenji was far more stubborn and spirited than himself, and that frightened Kenshin. What if his son made the same mistakes as him? He had not taken the time to think his actions through and in the end led a life of atonement for his ghastly deeds, losing his will to love and live. He could not allow his own flesh and blood to follow in his footsteps. Was Kenji intelligent enough to understand the ideals of Hiten Mitsurugi? Could the boy learn to hold his heated spirit in check?

"You have to have faith, Kenshin."

Those were the words his wife had told him just last night. Faith in what though? Faith in his son or faith in the school? Kenji's life was hanging in the balance of his decision, and moving forward on pure hope and faith was not acceptable. Kenshin wanted answers, ones that were solid and exact, he could settle for nothing less.

"You're too selfish."

His master's words. He had heard them many times before, but how strange to think of them now. There was nothing selfish about worrying over a child's future. Kenshin wanted his son to live a happy life, full of peace and love. He never wanted Kenji to experience the agony and heartfelt pain he had known growing up. Was that too selfish to ask for?

Kenshin stopped walking and sat down on a large rock, holding his head in his hands and closing his eyes. Life was not easy, no one had to tell him that, but he had thought things would be easier after he settled down and came to terms with his past. Now it was looming before him again, threatening to claim his son. It was unfair and it made him angry. Kenji should never have to know the horrible truths behind his father's past. He was innocent and pure, a child born into peace. Kenshin made a vow the day the boy was born, one that was solidified not just by words, but by his own life, that he would protect his son from the darkness of his own mistakes. It was his duty to guide him, but now he was not certain if he could or not.

"What if I choose the wrong path?" he thought to himself, shutting his eyes harder.

The wrong decision would have the same effects, no matter what path he chose. If Kenji learned the school and made mistakes along the way, he would be doomed to a life of sins and agony. On the other hand, if Kenshin allowed Kenji to continue as he was now, he would most certainly become lost and confused, unable to control the wildness of his spirit with out proper training or guidance.

Kenshin shook his head, trying to free himself of his soul's torment, feeling his heart ball up in his chest and his temper grow darker. He needed advice, as much as he hated to admit it, and there was only one person he could turn in this situation. "Master," he muttered to himself.

**********

Kenji hadn't left his mother's side the entire day. He sat listlessly next to her on the blanket she had laid out next to the tree, his eyes empty and dull, staring blankly out at the river. He felt as if something was eating him from the inside out, oozing from his skin and constricting his heart. His father was rarely open with his foul moods, though Kenji knew he had them. He could tell when his father was feeling down about something, but it amazed him how the man managed smile away through the troubles the boy knew he was feeling. Never was he gruff or cold, not like he was today.

Kenji wasn't the only person feeling the effects of Kenshin's uncharacteristic foulness. Kenshin was the pillar of their family circle, binding them like glue to a perfect spindle that revolved around himself. His moods affected them each individually and as a group. The day's trip to the river was submersed in sullen silence and quiet reflection. Not even Yahiko bothered to tease Kenji about his refusal to swim and Sano passed up eating his share of the lunch Kaoru had packed, stating he'd rather nap since he'd not gotten much sleep the night before.

Kaoru sat underneath the tree, reading her book, one arm draped over her son's small shoulders. Occasionally she would glance up at the trail, her eyes searching for the slender form of her husband. She knew him better than any of them, and hoped he'd find the answers he was seeking. She also knew that Kenshin's meditations often led him into frantic panic and wouldn't solve anything. He was a worrier through and through, and no matter how hard he tried to bury his worries, he always ended up making them worse.

She sighed and set her book down, glancing at her son's sad face. She smiled softly and ran her fingers through his thick, red hair, wondering what he was thinking at that moment. He took his father's harsh words rather hard, it was written across his little face like a book. She had never seen him so lethargic and lost, it was almost like he wasn't in his own body anymore. Her heart went out to him, but she offered no words of support at this time. What was going on was between Kenji and his father now. They would have to work it out on their own. The only thing she could give her son now was her love and support.

"Why don't go you play, Kenji chan? Your father will be back soon, then we can go home," she offered gently.

Kenji only whimpered and huddled closer to his mother's side. He stared at the trail, the last place he'd seen his father go, trying to wish him back. Part of him was afraid the man wouldn't return, quite possibly so angry with him that he'd leave him behind and another half of him was worried about his father's well being. He'd left so upset and distant, his heart apparently in distress. Kenji wanted to make it all go away, sooth the man and make him laugh again, but he had retreated and left them all alone.

The sun began to sink behind the mountains, it's fading light painting the sky a vivid orange and red. Yahiko floated lazily in the water, and Sano snored from his place on a log. Even Kaoru dozed off on her blanket, her slight frame stretched out, her head resting on one extended arm. Only Kenji remained awake, still staring at the path, his tiny body tucked carefully next to his mother's sleeping form.

Kenshin's silhouette appeared over the edge of the trail, bathed in the orange glow of the sun. At first glance, Kenji suppressed the excited shout he felt bubbling up in his chest, afraid his father would rebuke him or push him away. He quickly gave in to his happiness and bolted off the blanket, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, and threw himself into his father's extended arms. He chattered at him relentlessly, taking the larger man's face in both hands and smiling at him in pure bliss.

Kenshin laughed, and hugged his son close, feeling the chains of his worries give way a bit at the sight of his child's gleeful smile. His heart was still heavy, but he was truly happy to have the boy in his arms. "I wasn't gone that long Kenji chan! Did you think I wouldn't come back?" he joked.

Kenji gave him a stern look and tugged at a lock of hair, "You better come back. Always!"

Kenshin gave his son a funny look, sensing his child's doubt and fear. "Kenji, I would never leave you or your mother. You remember that, always," he said seriously.

Kenji nodded and smiled once again, pointing to the three sleeping forms. "They're lazy," he stated, "Uncle Sano snores."

Kenshin chuckled, "Your mother does sometimes too."

Kenji looked at his father, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"It's true," Kenshin laughed, shifting the boy in his arms, "Shall we wake them up and go home?"

To all the Kaoru fans (I'm one too), I tried my best to work her into the fic more! Sorry if it's not as much as everyone would like! I'll have the next chapter soon, but for right now, I'm going to go watch Escaflowne…I can't believe it's taken me this long to discover this series, but Kenshin is still by far my favorite! Hee hee! Take care everyone!