Berlin, Luftwaffe Headquarters, Office of General Albert Burkhalter
September 7, 1943, 1800 hours
General Albert Burkhalter entered his office, threw his hat on the table and headed for his schnapps bottle. He poured himself a drink and downed it in one swallow. He poured a second, which followed the first in short order. After pouring the third drink, he took his glass and the bottle over to his desk and sat in his chair. He let out a big sigh.
That man is a lunatic! I cannot believe the ignorance he shows. Führer or not, the man is out of touch with reality. Burkhalter downed his third glass and poured a refill. And all of the sycophants on his staff – there's not one of them with a backbone. They are afraid to tell him the truth because it is bad news, so they tell him what he wants to hear. Then when things fall apart, instead of telling him that it was HIS ideas that failed, they just try to blame the generals in the field for the failure.
Burkhalter downed his fourth drink. He looked at the empty glass before filling it again. He knew where this was heading, and he welcomed it. This was one time when he was very glad of his substantial girth; it would take a lot of schnapps for him to get drunk. He emptied he glass again and smiled. Tonight he would get very drunk.
The day had not been a good one for the General. As the head of all Luft Stalags in the Reich, he was only a junior member of the Luftwaffe High Command, and not important enough to have daily briefings with the Führer. Normally he briefed the Luftwaffe adjutants of the General Staff who then sent the reports onward. The General Staff itself spent much of its time in the Wolfsschanze, where the Führer had been making his headquarters, or meeting in other various headquarters to avoid enemy targeting. But today was one of those days when the Führer returned to Berlin and wanted to be briefed personally by those that he normally wanted nothing to do with.
So General Burkhalter had briefed Hitler himself, and then had to stand there and listen to the Führer rant for over an hour about how the Stalags were costing too much to operate. The prisoners received Red Cross packages, so why does it cost so much to feed them? The electrical use was way too high, as was the fuel used for heating. Burkhalter had listened to the Führer complain about the rising number of escapes and escape attempts and the rising number of enemy fliers that were evading capture.
Burkhalter chuckled to himself as he thought about the day. The Führer was complaining that it cost too much to run the Stalags, but then complained that the prisoner population was not increasing.
Then came the most amusing rant of all. Why couldn't all of the Stalags be run as secure and efficient as Stalag 13? Why can't we have more Kommandants like that Colonel Klunk. Yes, the Führer actually called him Colonel Klunk.
The General drained his glass again and poured a quick refill. The schnapps was starting to do its job nicely. He was starting to feel very relaxed. He drained his glass, set it on his desk and grabbed the bottle.
Jawohl mein Führer, we need more men like Colonel Klunk. A pompous windbag if ever there was one. Oh yes, you would like him, meinFührer. You can rant and scream, and he could cower and whimper like a scared puppy.
Burkhalter took a drink from the bottle. Yes, good old Colonel Klunk. As inept as he is, nobody ever escapes from his camp. Strange things happen around Stalag 13, but nobody ever escapes.
Burkhalter laughed as he raised the bottle in the air. "Here's to you, Colonel Wilhelm Klunk," he toasted. He took a long drink from the bottle, and laughed hysterically.