Hold On
Chapter 4
A Superficial Happiness
(AN: The young and the hopeless, Good Charlotte)
Hard days made me
Hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing
I Take what i want
take what I need
you say it's wrong, but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me
Gordo walked down the hall, heading for janitors closet again. He could tell his drinking was bothering Lizzie, but she'd get over it. What was he saying? He knew after awhile of keeping this up she'd be right. He'd lose control and he could already start to feel power over himself decrease. But he couldn't stop. It was like something he knew was wrong, something he knew would ruin everything. But he'd do it anyway, he had to. And for a split second he would feel relieved of his problems and fears and have some kind of superficial happiness and after..all his feelings would return, but they'd just get worst. He'd feel guilty and sick, how could he do this to Lizzie? 'Because he had problems', was his excuse. 'No one understands' he told himself. What kind of an excuse is that?
And if i make it through today
Will tomorrow be the same?
Am i just running in place?
And if i stumble and i fall
Should i get up and carry on?
Will it all just be the same?
Cause im young and im hopeless
im lost and i know this
im going nowhere fast thats what they say
im troublesome i've fallen
im angry at my father
its me against this world and i dont care
i dont care
Gordo passed Ethan and Miranda talking. Ethan actually looked like he was having a deep conversation and Miranda was probably just listening intensely to him. She could be so shallow sometimes. Her worst fear was if Ethan didn't notice her at a party, she didn't have to deal with parents fighting, or her father constantly hitting her mother, and throwing things everywhere, and you're father would yell and scream at you, and blame you for everything even losing his job, you just wish you could just get back up in his face and scream 'SHUT UP!'. She didn't deal with the feeling of hating your father, your mother not really noticing you and just saying 'Well.that might upset your father' And the only person you know loves you is Lizzie. And then you, acting just like your father, hurt her too.
im young and im hopeless
im lost and i know this
im going nowhere fast thats what they say
that im troublesome i've fallen
im angry at my father
its me agaisnt this world and i dont care
i dont care.
He only wished he were that sure of himself. Hell yeah he care, what if he was hopeless? Lost and going nowhere fast? What if he had fallen? What if he hated his father? Was he just supposed to say 'I don't care' His mistakes would affect everyone else lives as well, most important Lizzie's life. What would happen if..he hurt her. He would never purposely hurt her, but if he did lose control he might. And that's not just it.he was hurting her already just drinking not telling her what was wrong with him. He never wanted to see her cry, that's why he was her boyfriend so he could make sure she would always smile. If he ever saw her cry he would probably just die thinking, 'what most horrible thing could make my angel cry?' He couldn't bare to think that the answer could be him.
He passed her by in the hall. She smiled at him and blew him a kiss. He grinned and watched her follow some friends to her next class. 'I would never hurt her' he told himself as he walked to the janitors closet 'I couldn't hurt her'
He was wrong.
~~~Hey! I'm in a good mood; I just won playing this game on the radio! Q108 ROCKS! Lol, maybe not their music, but the DJ's are cool. Anyhoo sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but I hope it was wroth it. This chapter was from Gordo's POV and that is different from my other chapters. And heh heh yeah it's short, but it was good..right? No?...oh okay...well if you do like it r/r okay? and I don't mean rest/relaxation.later! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Chapter 4
A Superficial Happiness
(AN: The young and the hopeless, Good Charlotte)
Hard days made me
Hard nights shaped me
I don't know they somehow saved me
And I know I'm making something out of this life they call nothing
I Take what i want
take what I need
you say it's wrong, but it's right for me
I won't look down
Won't say I'm sorry
I know that only God can judge me
Gordo walked down the hall, heading for janitors closet again. He could tell his drinking was bothering Lizzie, but she'd get over it. What was he saying? He knew after awhile of keeping this up she'd be right. He'd lose control and he could already start to feel power over himself decrease. But he couldn't stop. It was like something he knew was wrong, something he knew would ruin everything. But he'd do it anyway, he had to. And for a split second he would feel relieved of his problems and fears and have some kind of superficial happiness and after..all his feelings would return, but they'd just get worst. He'd feel guilty and sick, how could he do this to Lizzie? 'Because he had problems', was his excuse. 'No one understands' he told himself. What kind of an excuse is that?
And if i make it through today
Will tomorrow be the same?
Am i just running in place?
And if i stumble and i fall
Should i get up and carry on?
Will it all just be the same?
Cause im young and im hopeless
im lost and i know this
im going nowhere fast thats what they say
im troublesome i've fallen
im angry at my father
its me against this world and i dont care
i dont care
Gordo passed Ethan and Miranda talking. Ethan actually looked like he was having a deep conversation and Miranda was probably just listening intensely to him. She could be so shallow sometimes. Her worst fear was if Ethan didn't notice her at a party, she didn't have to deal with parents fighting, or her father constantly hitting her mother, and throwing things everywhere, and you're father would yell and scream at you, and blame you for everything even losing his job, you just wish you could just get back up in his face and scream 'SHUT UP!'. She didn't deal with the feeling of hating your father, your mother not really noticing you and just saying 'Well.that might upset your father' And the only person you know loves you is Lizzie. And then you, acting just like your father, hurt her too.
im young and im hopeless
im lost and i know this
im going nowhere fast thats what they say
that im troublesome i've fallen
im angry at my father
its me agaisnt this world and i dont care
i dont care.
He only wished he were that sure of himself. Hell yeah he care, what if he was hopeless? Lost and going nowhere fast? What if he had fallen? What if he hated his father? Was he just supposed to say 'I don't care' His mistakes would affect everyone else lives as well, most important Lizzie's life. What would happen if..he hurt her. He would never purposely hurt her, but if he did lose control he might. And that's not just it.he was hurting her already just drinking not telling her what was wrong with him. He never wanted to see her cry, that's why he was her boyfriend so he could make sure she would always smile. If he ever saw her cry he would probably just die thinking, 'what most horrible thing could make my angel cry?' He couldn't bare to think that the answer could be him.
He passed her by in the hall. She smiled at him and blew him a kiss. He grinned and watched her follow some friends to her next class. 'I would never hurt her' he told himself as he walked to the janitors closet 'I couldn't hurt her'
He was wrong.
~~~Hey! I'm in a good mood; I just won playing this game on the radio! Q108 ROCKS! Lol, maybe not their music, but the DJ's are cool. Anyhoo sorry for the long wait for this chapter, but I hope it was wroth it. This chapter was from Gordo's POV and that is different from my other chapters. And heh heh yeah it's short, but it was good..right? No?...oh okay...well if you do like it r/r okay? and I don't mean rest/relaxation.later! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!