Artemis, What is That?

A/N This is a one-shot A/H pairing that takes place between the second and third book. And this is not the usual Holly-misses Arty-and-goes-to-see-him-and-they-confess-and-kiss. Oh, and slight Arty-bashing. Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl or all related syndica or however that phrase goes...blahblahblah...

Holly Short was missing our dear little Artemis Fowl.

Everyone accused her of the Stockholm Syndrome, but she just ignored them and didn't argue.

Anyways, they were right.

One night, she took a set of Hummingbirds and snuck off to Fowl Manor.

And this is where our little story begins.

Holly grunted. Why did Artemis' window have to be so tightly locked? Finally she jimmied it open, to have a great shock. Two, actually. One, the great Artemis Fowl snored. Two, he slept with a teddy bear. Or, more accurately, a plushie version of a person-actually, elf- he knew well. Which was Holly.

Holly's Neutrino 2001 dropped to the floor with a loud clunk. Which woke dear Arty up.

"What the..." Artemis muttered sleepily. Then he saw Holly and shot up with a gasp.

"What are YOU doing here?" He demanded.

Holly sniggered. "Well, if we are going to interrogate each other, I get to start. First of all, WHAT is THAT?" she asked, pointing to the plushie of her clutched tightly in Artemis' arms.

Artemis blushed deeply, stammering, "U-u-um, th-that's n-n-not m-m-mine...", quickly dropping it.

Holly grinned evilly. "Oh then, I'm sure it's your parents' then, though they don't even know me, or that it's one of the Great Bodyguard Siblings', as if they would ever need a comfort plushie, or one of your friends at St. Bartleby's, oh wait a moment, you don't have any friends, do you? So whose could it be but yours?"

For the only the second time in his life, Artemis Fowl the Second was speechless. Then he realized something. "Well, that still doesn't explain why you're here, Short."

Holly shrugged. "I'm here for the same reason why you have that teddy, Fowl. And at least I'm being more frank about it than you are, Fowl."

Artemis gaped. "No way..."he breathed.

"Yes way, young master Fowl."

"You're kidding me, or you're tricking me into being a fool, or you're trying to torture me." Artemis replied flatly.

"D'Arvit Artemis I'm not lying you idiot!"

"Prove it."

"I have a plushie like yours, except mine is of you."

Artemis let out a full-throated laugh. "Oh really now, Holly?"

"At least I got us on first name terms," Holly muttered under her breath.

Then they heard pounding footsteps, and Butler burst into the room.

"Master Fowl, robbers in the front yard. Shall I eliminate them?"

"Of course, immediately," Artemis replied without so much as batting an eyelid. "Now where were we, Miss Short?" he inquired as Butler ran back out, Sig Sauer in hand.

"You were disbelieving me when I said that I liked you as more than a friend, and you also refused to admit why you have a plushie of me."

"Oh yes, about that...."

Meanwhile, our dear Domovoi Butler was battling the robbers, who also happened to be fairies. Coincedence?

The surprising thing though, was that he was losing.

Fladnag Smokestone grunted. Stupid Mud Man wasn't supposed to be so good at this. Then again, the Mud Man was losing strength. After all, after killing five armed-and-ready fairy assasins, who wouldn't weaken?

"Where are the jewels?" he hissed as he locked arms with Butler for the thousandth time.

"Safe from you!" Domovoi replied, wrenching his gun away and shooting into Smokestone's titanium-made-fairy-doctored-armor. Obviously, the bullet bounced right back off with a loud ring.

In the split second that Butler paused for after shooting, Smokestone shot his Neutrino 1000 at Butler's head.

Butler was down.

Fladnag smirked. Even his obsolete fairy gun could defeat a strong Mud Man.

Holly and Arty broke off arguing plushies when they heard the PING of the bouncing bullet.

Both of them dashed to the window to see what was happening. Luckily, it was a large window, so they didn't have to fight for a spot. But even though, there just wasn't quite enough room for both of them on the window seat. And since the wondow was wide open from Holly's break in...well, naturally, being the bigger one, Artemis fell out with a yell. At least Fowl Manor had lots of the kind of roofs that stick out in the middle of the house, slowing don Arty's fall....a little, anyways. But who should he land on but Fladnag, sneaking into the house at that moment?

"Gerrof!" the robber yelled, then fell still, unconcious. But, alas, unfortunately he wasn't dead. What a pity....

Then Artemis saw Butler.

Meanwhile, Holly had watched dear Arty fall. After a while, she got curious, so she strapped on her Hummingbirds and flew down to see what was going on.

Hovering a few feet over the ground, she was greeted by the strange sight of Artemis sobbing brokenly on Butler's body...even though that's not supposed to happen until the third book...

She landed with a soft thump and felt Butler's pulse. Quickly, she sent her magic throughhim, to find he only had a small concussion.

And here Artemis the Great was sobbing like a baby.

"Sheesh, Artemis, he only has a concussion," she told him with a smirk.

Artemis glared at her and closed and opened his mouth like a fish, trying to think of a smart comeback. Finally he settled for the usual, "I knew that...:"

"Yeah right," Holly scoffed. But she put her fingers to Butler's head anyways, and whispered, "Heal."

Blue sparks shot to the fine hairline crack in his skull, and within a few seconds, he sat up slightly wearily."Where is Fladnag Smokestone?" Was his first query.

"Over there, bruised sorely by Artemis using him as a landing cushion," Holly answered with a careless wave.

Butler got up and stalked to the fairy, picking up with one hand. "You might want to take this guy to your officers," he suggested.

Holly nodded, taking the unconcious Fladnag from Butler. "I'll just be going now," she said, "Before you can ask me, so why exactly were you in Master Arty's room?" And flew off into the night, shielding a few seconds after taking flight.

Butler swiftly recovered from his shock and turned to 'Master Arty'.

"So, why was Miss Holly in your room?"

A/N: And that's all! Read and Review! Oh, and 5 points to whoever can deduce where I got the name Fladnag from!