The following is a paid advertisement For Minotenko, INC. and does not reflect their views and opinions. Consult your physician before using this or any other financial plan.
(Infomercial music begins)
Naruto: (Subtitle: NARUTO / TV'S "NARUTO") Stop stumblin' around in the dark, and stubbin' your toe on financial ruin! Turn the light on!
Sasuke: (Subtitle: SASUKE UCHIHA / POPULAR MUSICIAN) The past is a cancelled check. Your maximum point of power is NOW.
Sakura: Do you wonder what these people are talking about? Listen to another testimonial.
(Sakura shoves the camera in Kakashi's face)
Kakashi: (Subtitle: Robin Williams / TV's "JUMANJI") Um, Hello.
Sakura: Yes, you too will be saying "HELLO, MONEY!" hello to money, and "HELLO, LIFE!" with our new twelve week program. But don't take my word for it!
(Sub.: NOT SOLD IN ANY STORE!)
Hinata: (AMY LEE/ triple Grammy award winning rock musician) Um, Uh... in, in the twelve-week plan, um, I, ah, broke through, it, um, i-i-it all happened like, uh, like that. Yeah.
Sakura: That was triple Grammy award winning rock musician Amy Lee. Here are some more testimonials:
(STAY TUNED FOR FREE TRIAL OFFER!)
Haku: (SADAKO/"THE RING") Now, I finally have enough money to live my dream...... as a woman!
Zabuza: (J. VOORHEES/ "FRIDAY THE 13TH") ............Holy.... Shit............... are those real??
(MAKE A CHANGE!)
Itachi: I bought about thirty-five thousand acres, and uh, for, you know, sixty cents an acre, and in about twelve minutes, And my baby brother is still not as RICH as me.
Sasuke: ........ Nyuh.... (Eye twitches) .........EYYAAAAAAGHHH! (Chases Itachi with a bass guitar)
(SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED! COMES WITH 7-PAGE PAMPHLET!)
Sakura: Mmm hmm. (nods)
(SAKURA NODS KNOWINGLY!)
Iruka: (IRUKA SENSEI'S RESULTS ARE TYPICAL!) My profits have gone up six thousand percent, (YOUR RESULTS MAY VARY.) and it was all because of the tapes.
(LIFETIME GUARANTEE!)
Gaara: (SANDMAN/" eXistenZ ") I'll see it when I believe it.
Sakura: Believe it, Sandy! And believe in your cash ability!
(CALL NOW!)
Sakura: What are you waiting for? With just three easy payments of 7995 Yin, you too can have our twelve-week program. Just pick up the phone and call! It's that easy!
Tsunade: (LARGE MARGE/ "PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE") Hey, what's with the camera? What the hell are you kids doing? AND WHO SMELLS LIKE PORPOISE HORK?
Naruto: Wasn't me! (Farts again) Sorry. Heheheheh.
(EVERY TAPE IS SHINY AND NEW AND FITS ANY 8-TRACK TAPE PLAYER!)
Rock Lee: (subtitle: LEPRECHAUN/ TV's "THE LEPRECHAUN") I saw the tapes! Good golly, Molly!!
Sakura: Need I say more?
Rock Lee: So, you wanna go out with me?
Sakura: No!
(TAPES ENCASED IN DELUXE PLASTIC)
Sasuke: See, I didn't have a tape machine, I just had the tapes. So, I mean, if I got to listen to the tapes, I would really be makin' some, some headway.
Naruto: Sure, dude, sure.
Sasuke: (Growls)
(A 14000ïin VALUE!!)
Sakura: I order you to order now! (Raise large axe threateningly)
(SORRY, NO C.O.D.s!)