Kyle paused as he waited for Fairy Godmother's reaction. It had taken an hour to explain everything to her – what had happened at the party, the arrival of Shrek's friends and the decision of the magical council to involve Maria, the plan Flora had initiated to bring back Dama Fortuna. He had only left out one key detail, which she picked up on instantly.
"Did she use a resurrection spell to bring me back?"
"I was told not to discuss it with you."
"So I suppose you could not tell me what condition I was brought back under or who was the sacrifice?"
"No."
"Is there any point in asking if it was you?"
"No," answered Kyle, keeping his face impassive. He was worried that the fairy would work out the condition and perhaps jeopardise both of their lives. Luckily she gave up this line of enquiry and paced around the small room for a moment.
"I'm impressed by the room Kyle, you obviously put a lot of thought into this. Very chic."
"It was the only place where we wouldn't be followed."
"I hate this pub." She sat in the window, the moonlight highlighting her lavender hair. Kyle forgot himself for a moment and reached over to stroke her hair softly.
"I've missed you," he said quietly. She shrugged him off, turning her head further from him and staring out of the window.
"I know. I still can't quite believe the last thing I said to you was an instruction for a key change."
"Stunning dress though."
"Thank-you." She smiled at Kyle, then yawned behind her hand. "If you don't mind, it's been a rather long night and I would like to get some sleep if I have to fight evil tomorrow."
"Flora suggested you stay out of the way in case Maria finds out you are back before you are ready to fight."
"Okay." Fairy Godmother lay back on the small bed and squirmed uncomfortably. "I'm sure I don't want to know what they've stuffed this mattress with." Kyle laughed and sat down in the armchair next to the bed, feeling sleep steal over him. "Goodnight Kyle."
"Goodnight Dama."
Kyle stretched in the early morning sun, bright rays of light filtering through his eyelids. He opened his eyes and looked up, surprised to see Dama leaning over him, a glowing aura surrounding her. She noticed that he'd woken and that he seemed about to speak. Putting a finger on his lips to silence him, Dama kissed Kyle lightly on the forehead, then once on each cheek. She moved her finger and kissed his lips. Kyle's mind started to reel and he felt himself jump. She'd just met the condition for them both to live! Dama felt the jump, but rather than break off the kiss she deepened it. Kyle returned the kiss and pulled Dama into his lap, completely oblivious to anything around them.
"Bloody hell," gasped Kyle when finally released. He looked up at the now smirking Fairy Godmother. "Good morning beautiful."
"Good morning servant," she answered tartily, placing her hands on her hips and raising a suggestive eyebrow to Kyle.
"Oh you're joking..." he groaned in response.
It was afternoon before Kyle and Dama emerged from the pub. Kyle followed Dama as she walked slowly up the road to the main town. Neither spoke and both were on full alert for any sign of Simon, Maria or indeed anyone else who may be forced to betray their whereabouts. When they reached the last crossroads before the town, Kyle whistled and moments later the trademark pink carriage screeched to a halt in front of him. It looked a little forlorn, as though it had not been washed for some months. This was, of course, the case. Fairy Godmother took one look at it and waved her wand, returning the carriage to pristine condition. Kyle looked a little piqued and he turned to Dama.
"All those hours I spent polishing the carriage... and you could have just waved your little wand and saved me all that hard labour?"
"Yes. But you were employed as my chauffeur darling. What else would you have done while I dealt with the clients? Now be a sweetie and drive over to the old apartment – I take it I still own it?"
"I imagine so. I don't think things have got so bad at the factory that Charming would sell the apartment."
"Things are bad at the factory? How bad?"
"I'll tell you on the way," answered Kyle, holding the door open for Fairy Godmother as she half-hopped and half-flew into the back seat. Kyle closed the door and leaped into the driver's seat, cracking his whip to stir the carriage into life. They sped off towards Fairy Godmother's old apartment on the far side of town, Kyle trying to keep a low profile by flying with the sun behind him to mask the carriage.
In King Harold's castle, Maria Fortuna was discussing the main plan of attack for the next night. She and Fauna were looking at a model of the terrain around the castle while Flora and Merryweather drew up plans for placement of archers and infantry with Harold and Lillian. Fiona and Shrek busied themselves with plans for evacuating the city if the attack should fail.
"This is the valley I will attack from. Your army must close in from behind," instructed Maria.
"How do we know that Simon will be drawn to the valley?" asked Harold.
"We," said Maria indicating Fauna and herself, "will team up to create a large magical disturbance that Simon will find irresistible." Flora looked across at her sister, but Fauna was radiating nothing other than her usual good will. As orders were relayed around the castle to prepare the troops for the next morning, the council broke up for the last time. Flora deftly avoided meeting with Maria and headed for her room.
Back at her old apartment, Fairy Godmother looked around at the dustcloth covered furniture. She'd stayed here on occasion to escape the potions factory, but strangely had never thought to bring Kyle here before. He had dropped her off at the balcony many times but if they had spent the night together it had always been at the small factory apartment and never here. Dama waved her wand and in one movement the dustcovers vanished, the room was cleaned, the windows opened and a dinner for two served on the dining table. Kyle walked up to Fairy Godmother and slipped his arms around her waist.
"Your hair," he started "smells wonderful."
"We should probably have a quick dinner, then you need to fetch the king and queen so we can discuss if I am going to help them."
"You still have doubts?"
"Many. For a start, we wouldn't have had to go through all this if it hadn't been for that blasted ogre." Fairy Godmother tensed up and Kyle thought it best to change the subject.
"You have a fantastic apartment. Why was I not invited earlier?"
"I needed my own space when I had important things to do. Like saving a kingdom," she snapped.
"You're scared aren't you?" said Kyle quietly.
"Of course not."
"Nervous then?" Fairy Godmother walked over to the dining table and started picking at the fruit basket.
"Yes," she whispered.
"What do you want to do?" asked Kyle, holding her by the shoulders.
"I would like us," she started, walking towards him and slipping her arms around his chest, "to sit down and have dinner together. I'm famished!"
The couple enjoyed the dinner, which, when it was finished, cleared itself leaving only a box of chocolates and a bottle of champagne. Kyle sighed.
"Just what I need – half a bottle of bubbly before driving."
"Shall we keep it for later?" asked Fairy Godmother, already hovering near the chocolates. Kyle laughed.
"Yes! Now come with me. I think it would be best to meet with the king and queen at the castle."
"Why?"
"We only have to sneak into the castle once. It's easier than sneaking out – believe me."
"Fine, fine. How do I look?" She spread her arms and forced a twirl. Kyle smirked.
"Awful. Let's go." Kyle whistled the carriage and turned back to the fairy. She seemed to be fretting about something. "You look fantastic. As always. Would I be seen out in public with you if that were not the case?"
"I suppose not. But less of your cheek young man. I'll have you know that chauffeurs are a dime a dozen." She flew out onto the balcony and opened the carriage door.
"That may be the case, but how many can use a whip?" he grinned and leaned over Fairy Godmother.
"We really don't have time for this," she muttered.
"Quick fumble in the back seat?"
"No!" Fairy Godmother pulled the door behind her. "Just drive!"
"I love it when you play hard to get!" Kyle shouted back as he cracked the whip and the carriage headed off.
They arrived at the palace near sunset, Kyle parking just out of sight under the king and queen's balcony. He hopped up and peered around the curtain into the room. King Harold and Queen Lillian were playing chess. Kyle coughed politely.
"Who's there?" asked Lillian, standing and quickly drawing a sword from a dresser behind her. "Show yourself!" Kyle stepped forward. "You're Kyle aren't you?"
"Yes your majesty. I have brought someone to speak with you."
"Who is it?"
"Fairy Godmother Dama Fortuna." Kyle waited for the reaction.
"What!" shouted Harold.
"How?" asked Lillian.
"Flora brought her back using a resurrection spell."
"Shrek told us, but we thought it hadn't worked. Where is she?" asked Lillian.
"Right here," replied Fairy Godmother, stepping through the curtains. Both Harold and Lillian froze for a moment before Harold spoke.
"Why are you here?"
"To discuss the possibility of helping you out of this mess." She looked down and came to a decision. "I'm sorry I hurt you both."
"It's going to take more than that, but not a bad start," said Lillian.
"Will you help us?" asked Harold.
"Possibly. What incentive do I have to help?"
"We'd be eternally grateful. We might even overlook your blatant attempt to take over the country," said Lillian.
"Perhaps I could be persuaded to help out."
"But how could we ever trust you again?" Lillian and Fairy Godmother were now face to face, neither able to back down.
"Harold?" said Dama.
"Yes?" croaked Harold.
"Do you fancy being human again?"
"Yes, but wouldn't that alert Maria to your presence?"
"She was never very bright, but I take your point. Perhaps later then."
"No, I think now would be the perfect time," replied a voice from the door. It was Maria.