Warnings: Yoai, self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, blood, swearing, Drug use, um I think that's it... oh and sex!
Rating: R for all of the above!
Spoilers: Don't know yet, but not in this chapter!
Disclaimers: I have to say it but I don't want to believe it! I don't own Gundam Wing! Or any of the songs I use. BUT I do own the poems that I put in this fic! And my own made up characters! Oh and I own this fic!

Death & Rebirth
Chapter One
By: Raven's Midnight Light

I was sitting on my bed crying for I had lost the one I loved to another. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, alone in what used to be our room. The curtains are closed I can see some sunlight starting to peer in through the cracks.

"Must be dawn." I said as I started to stand up from the bed. I stand there for about a minute as I wipe the tears from my eyes. I walk over to the window and open the curtains. It wasn't that bright out yet. I can see the sunlight over the horizon shining over the countryside. Every minute it's brighter than the last. I look over to the alarm clock on the nightstand beside the bed; it's 5:45am it seems like only a minute ago that he said those horrible words to me.

Flashback

I heard Heero enter the room quietly I could feel the negative engergy building up as he aproched me on the bed. He didn't look happy, he looked blank there was a bit of sadness in his eyes though something I've learned to notice. Heero's true emotions lie in his eyes. Something wassn't right I got up off the bed and met him half way into the room.

"Heero, what is it what wong? Did somthing happen?" I said in a panicy voice, but I knew it wassn't about the others because they were all at the safe house. I knew I just knew something was off I just couldn't pin point it. Heero looked at me with a serious expression in his eyes. Now I knew something wassn't right.

"Duo, you might want to sit down." Heero said. I looked at him with wide eyes but I took those 3 steps back and sat on the edge of the bed. I looked back at him, he took a step forward towards me then looked me straight in the eyes. "Duo, I don't love you anymore! I'm in love with some one else..." I didn't hear what else he said. I was in shock; I had hoped that we'd be together forever! He had promised me forever and beyond. "I'm sorry Duo, I'm leaving on a mission in a few minutes with Trowa. I'll see you in a couple of days." Heero said. I wanted to start crying right there and then I could feel the tear forming in my eyes but I refused to cry in front of Heero not this time. I had many questions but I couldn't speak them. All I could say was...

"Ok" I had simply said "Goodbye my love!" With that Heero nelt down and took my chin in his hand and pulled me closer and gave me one last kiss. It was slow, gentle, and filled with sarrow. Heero's gentle way of aplogizing to me, one last offered kiss. The kiss broke all to soon, Heero stood up and quickly kissed me on the forhead then quietly left the way he came. When the door closed, I broke down I cried and cried I just lost another person I loved only this time it wassn't death that took some one away from me it was worse, it was to another. "Why?..." I quietly whisper to myself.

End of Flashback

So here I am 5 hours later, still in this room. Watching the sunrise. As the sun rises I feel more tears stream down my cheeks. After the sun had rose I decided to pull myself together, I don't want the others to see me like this. I must keep my happy attitude, somehow. I walk over to the dresser and pull out some clean clothes. A baggy black t-shirt that has the bad religion symbol on it I know, I know it doesn't quite go with the fact that I'm a catholic, but hey I'm not a good catholic! Not in the least. A pair of loose black baggy jeans and I grab a black sweatshirt that is miles to big for me and it says 'Bad Boy' on the back. I also grab a pair of black socks and boxers. I walk over to the bathroom that connects to what was Heero's room and mine, now it's just mine at least I think. He could have kicked me out when I was is shock and not listening. I don't know maybe I should stuff my shit in the hall closet in the hall and sleep on the on the sofa downstairs just in case and to be sure.

I step into the bathroom and put my clean clothes on the counter next to the sink. Then I get two towels from under the sink and put them with my clothes. I turn on the shower and made sure the water was nice and hot! I hate cold water. I took off my boxers and unbraided my hair and stepped in. For the first minute or so I concentrate on getting my hair and body wet. Witch didn't take too long. I grab the shampoo and work a lather then rubbed my hands threw my hair. It really takes a long time to wash my hair because it's so long. After that is done I reach for the washcloth and soap, I washed myself of all the grime I felt on me.

/Why doesn't Heero love me anymore? / I thought to myself. /What's wrong with me? Who was the person who stole you from me Heero? Why? Heero Why? / I stopped the water and twisted my hair to rid the access water in my hair. I stepped out and grabbed the towels I took out, and put one my head to soak out the water. I dried my self with the other. About five minutes later I was all dried, I rub the towel on my head threw my hair to make it dry faster. A minute later my hair was more or less dry, and take the towel off my head. I put on my clean pair of black boxers. I grab a brush from the medicine cabinet and run it through my hair. I just put it in a ponytail I don't feel like putting it in its usual braid I was just to drained to bother. I put on the rest of my clothes then grabbed the laundry then left the bathroom. As I walk to the bedroom door I dump the dirty things in the laundry basket by the door. /Ok, happy-go-lucky attitude, Meh! Smiles remember to smile! Ok here I go! / I walk down the hall passed Quatre's room, then wufei's. When I reached the end of the hall I walk down the stairs leading to the main room of downstairs. The living room. No one else was awake so I plopped myself on the couch and grabbed the remote, then turned on the T.V. in front of me. I browse through the channels for something close to interesting. I flipped to a cartoon channel and some anime was on, so I decided to watch it. /Wow, he is quite good looking! What an ass! Wow! Smokin! / As I was checking out a hot character on the show so I didn't hear one of the other pilots come down.

"Hi Duo, you're up earlier than usual. Got a mission?"

End. T.B.C.

Well that was a weird piece of writing ne? Please Review!!!