Chapter 13
Lily walked into the RFR station. She plopped down onto the red vinyl couch and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. She had to write a poem on something or someone she loved. She already knew that she would write about Travis. He still had one more week to go without cutting before they could get back together. Lily had noticed that instead of cutting he would shake his foot furiously. At least she knew that he still wanted to be with her.
Lily started writing the first line of her poem when Travis walked into the station. Lily quickly hid her notepad and slid over so Travis could sit down next to her. That's when she noticed his eyes were puffy and swollen and his face was pale and blotchy. "Lily, can I tell you something?"
"Yah, sure. You know you can tell me anything."
"Ray should probably be telling you this but he's too distraught."
"Travis, what is it? You're starting to scare me."
"It's Contessa." Travis paused as he searched for the right words. "She had...an accident."
"Oh, no! Is she okay? What happened?"
"Lily, I haven't told you the whole truth about Contessa." Lily looked at him questionably.
"What do you mean?"
"The reason Contessa didn't tell anyone about my cutting problem was because she knew I would tell about her problem. Contessa had a problem with drugs." Lily's eyes grew wide as Travis continued. "She was upset about Ray breaking up with her and she went out and, well, did drugs. She had an overdose and...she's gone."
"What do you mean 'gone.'"
"She was in the hospital for about an hour before she...died." Lily's eyes filled with water, as did Travis's.
Lily was speechless. She just cried into Travis's shoulder. Then something hit Lily like a train.
"Oh my god! Ray. How's he taking this?"
"Not well. He could barely talk on the phone." Lily stood up.
"I have to find Ray. Before he does something stupid." Lily and Travis took off towards the Brennan residence.
As they walk into Ray's room they saw him sitting on the floor shaking. He was cradling himself back and forth.
"Why, why, why, why? Why did I break up with her? Why? Why did she leave me? Please, let me take her place?" Lily ran to Ray and wrapped her arms around him.
"Ray, I'm so sorry."
"Lily, why did this have to happen? I love her and now she's gone."
"She had a problem. No one could do anything about it. Don't blame yourself."
"But if I hadn't broken up with her none of this would have happened."
"Ray, she had a drug problem and this would have eventually happened." Ray looked at her.
"Why are you so damn calm about this!? One of your best friends is dead! D- E-A-D, dead!" Tears flowed out of Lily's eyes.
"Damn it, Ray! Don't you think I realize that!? But there's nothing I can do. I wish there was but there isn't! So I have to learn to deal! Now I'm just trying to get you to do the same!"
"I don't want to do the same." Ray stood up but quickly started to fall. Travis rushed over a caught him and set him a back down. Ray collected his breath and started to talk in a calm manner.
"Travis, how are you so calm about this? She was your ex after all." Travis looked down as tears formed in his eyes.
"I should have told someone but I didn't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew about her drug problem but I didn't tell anyone."
"Why didn't you tell?"
"Because then she would tell about my cutting problem." Travis lifted up his sleeve to reveal his old cuts. Then Travis wickedly chuckled. "We were one screwed up couple, weren't we?" Travis caught Lily looking at his arm. "Don't worry, their old." Lily flinched at the sharp, jagged tone in his voice.
"Travis, I think you've finally snapped." Travis looked at Ray.
"You think I'VE snapped! You're the one rocking like a baby on the floor! And what am I supposed to do!? She was the first friend I had that actually understood me!" Lily stood up and grabbed his shoulders.
"Travis, just calm down." Travis stepped away from her.
"Calm down! How the hell am I supposed to calm down when one of my best friends is DEAD! She's never coming back and it's all my fault so don't you tell me to calm down, Lillian Randall."
"Travis?" Lily whispered. She was starting to get worried. Then Travis fell to the floor in a wave of tears. Lily rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Ray did the same.
"Travis, I'm sorry."
"Ray, I'm sorry too. If I had just gotten Contessa help back then none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have lost your girlfriend and Lily and I wouldn't have lost a great friend. It's all my fault."
"No it's not Travis. You didn't know how to help her. There's nothing we can do about it now but pray that this doesn't happen again." They sat and talked about everything for the next two hours. Finally Lily and Travis left to go home.
Lily walked into the RFR station. She plopped down onto the red vinyl couch and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. She had to write a poem on something or someone she loved. She already knew that she would write about Travis. He still had one more week to go without cutting before they could get back together. Lily had noticed that instead of cutting he would shake his foot furiously. At least she knew that he still wanted to be with her.
Lily started writing the first line of her poem when Travis walked into the station. Lily quickly hid her notepad and slid over so Travis could sit down next to her. That's when she noticed his eyes were puffy and swollen and his face was pale and blotchy. "Lily, can I tell you something?"
"Yah, sure. You know you can tell me anything."
"Ray should probably be telling you this but he's too distraught."
"Travis, what is it? You're starting to scare me."
"It's Contessa." Travis paused as he searched for the right words. "She had...an accident."
"Oh, no! Is she okay? What happened?"
"Lily, I haven't told you the whole truth about Contessa." Lily looked at him questionably.
"What do you mean?"
"The reason Contessa didn't tell anyone about my cutting problem was because she knew I would tell about her problem. Contessa had a problem with drugs." Lily's eyes grew wide as Travis continued. "She was upset about Ray breaking up with her and she went out and, well, did drugs. She had an overdose and...she's gone."
"What do you mean 'gone.'"
"She was in the hospital for about an hour before she...died." Lily's eyes filled with water, as did Travis's.
Lily was speechless. She just cried into Travis's shoulder. Then something hit Lily like a train.
"Oh my god! Ray. How's he taking this?"
"Not well. He could barely talk on the phone." Lily stood up.
"I have to find Ray. Before he does something stupid." Lily and Travis took off towards the Brennan residence.
As they walk into Ray's room they saw him sitting on the floor shaking. He was cradling himself back and forth.
"Why, why, why, why? Why did I break up with her? Why? Why did she leave me? Please, let me take her place?" Lily ran to Ray and wrapped her arms around him.
"Ray, I'm so sorry."
"Lily, why did this have to happen? I love her and now she's gone."
"She had a problem. No one could do anything about it. Don't blame yourself."
"But if I hadn't broken up with her none of this would have happened."
"Ray, she had a drug problem and this would have eventually happened." Ray looked at her.
"Why are you so damn calm about this!? One of your best friends is dead! D- E-A-D, dead!" Tears flowed out of Lily's eyes.
"Damn it, Ray! Don't you think I realize that!? But there's nothing I can do. I wish there was but there isn't! So I have to learn to deal! Now I'm just trying to get you to do the same!"
"I don't want to do the same." Ray stood up but quickly started to fall. Travis rushed over a caught him and set him a back down. Ray collected his breath and started to talk in a calm manner.
"Travis, how are you so calm about this? She was your ex after all." Travis looked down as tears formed in his eyes.
"I should have told someone but I didn't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew about her drug problem but I didn't tell anyone."
"Why didn't you tell?"
"Because then she would tell about my cutting problem." Travis lifted up his sleeve to reveal his old cuts. Then Travis wickedly chuckled. "We were one screwed up couple, weren't we?" Travis caught Lily looking at his arm. "Don't worry, their old." Lily flinched at the sharp, jagged tone in his voice.
"Travis, I think you've finally snapped." Travis looked at Ray.
"You think I'VE snapped! You're the one rocking like a baby on the floor! And what am I supposed to do!? She was the first friend I had that actually understood me!" Lily stood up and grabbed his shoulders.
"Travis, just calm down." Travis stepped away from her.
"Calm down! How the hell am I supposed to calm down when one of my best friends is DEAD! She's never coming back and it's all my fault so don't you tell me to calm down, Lillian Randall."
"Travis?" Lily whispered. She was starting to get worried. Then Travis fell to the floor in a wave of tears. Lily rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Ray did the same.
"Travis, I'm sorry."
"Ray, I'm sorry too. If I had just gotten Contessa help back then none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have lost your girlfriend and Lily and I wouldn't have lost a great friend. It's all my fault."
"No it's not Travis. You didn't know how to help her. There's nothing we can do about it now but pray that this doesn't happen again." They sat and talked about everything for the next two hours. Finally Lily and Travis left to go home.