As Yet Unwritten - Part II By Coral & Jenna
DisclaimerOkay, theoretically we don't need one here! Oh no - wait - Eye is a real place, and it belongs to whoever may own it... World War II belongs to history.
Notes: This story dates back to when Jenna and I first "met", so to speak... she asked someone to help her write a story. Guess which idiot (uh, helpful person, I mean...) jumped at the chance? Yup... you guessed it...glares witheringly No, not Brannon Braga.
Loosely based on the idea of a past life for everyone's favourite Captain and Commander, this story was born... and lets just say that it was a "labour" of love... ignores groans
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The ringing of the alarm clock woke Catherine. Moaning, she opened her eyes. It's too early... she thought. She had to get up and go to the shop in half an hour and Maureen would.... Maureen!! Last night, she'd come over and... oh heavens... after that!!! Catherine turned her head to see Charlie sleeping peacefully on the other side of her bed. Oh my god! Catherine thought. They'd...Catherine covered her mouth with her hand. Oh, what time was it! Kate was going to be back in less than quarter of an hour! She grabbed her robe and, putting it on, she hurried into the lounge. She used the last of the tea ration making two cups of tea; Kate wouldn't mind - she didn't like tea anyway. Walking back into the bedroom she paused, wondering how to wake Charlie up.
"Umm.... Charlie. Charlie!" she shook his arm.
"Wha...." he sat up and looked at her the veil of sleep gradually clearing "Oh Cathy. Good Morning," he yawned.
"Charlie, I have to go to work in half an hour and Kate's due back in less then ten minutes, so I would suggest you get dressed." He smiled at her
"Sure thing Cathy. Pass me my clothes could ya?" She did as he asked then went back to waiting in lounge. Nervous, she glanced at the clock. If Kate found out.... she'd NEVER hear the end of it. At exactly quarter past there was a knock at the door. Damn, thought Catherine, how come Kate's on time the one day I don't want her to be!
"Cathy?" Charlie called from the bedroom
"Just.. stay there for the minute. I'll handle it." Catherine went to the door and opened it to a red eyed Kate with tears streaming down her face
"Kate?" asked Catherine shocked.
"They, they called me a whore!" Kate sobbed. "They told me I ought to have stayed in London because they don't want me here."
Catherine put her arms around Kate. "Oh, Kate, who did?" Kate drew a shaky breath " The people I thought were my friends. Mary and Katie Smith and Annie Hanson and Peggie....."
Catherine sighed. "The village gossips basically."
Kate nodded "Maureen told them. She told everyone!" Kate burst into fresh sobs "Even my mother's not speaking to me!"
Catherine had never felt so angry in her life. How dare Maureen! "And, and she told me to say to you, let this be a warning to you. That she'd spared you because she thought you were still Christian at heart but I........" Kate stopped to try to regain her control. "I was already going to hell for my evil deeds." At this, Kate began crying again and Catherine hugged her. "You, you wouldn't understand Catherine. Everyone knows you're a nice, clean girl. No one would ever say anything like this about you." Catherine sighed inwardly.
"Charlie!" she called softly as Kate looked at her in shock. Charlie walked in looking terribly self-conscious. "Mornin'" he said to Kate. Kate just looked at him in utter amazement.
"Catherine? You....my god!"
Catherine grabbed her arms "DON'T tell anyone Kate, promise me you won't."
Kate looked at her wiping away her tears "I promise Catherine. I wouldn't want you to be called what I was. I deserve it, you never would."
Catherine shook Kate a little "You don't deserve that. You're not evil, Kate. You're just in love and there is NOTHING wrong with that."
Kate nodded her head "I guess, I guess I'm just scared he's not going to come back. That he's going to die and I'm going to be alone again."
Catherine smiled gently. "I understand Kate, really I do."
Catherine turned her smile to Charlie "You'd better go." He nodded "I'll see ya around Cathy." He leaned down and kissed her before leaving.
Catherine gave Kate a final hug before saying, "You're going to be late and so am I, come on."
Catherine walked slowly through the village with Kate walking slightly behind her. Kate was a lot better now, walking with her old stride and defiant air.
That's it, thought Catherine, don't let them get to you Kate, show them that you're made of tougher stuff than they are. At the crossroads, Kate had to head in a different direction to Catherine so they hugged before parting "Don't let it bother you Kate. You're worth fifty of Annie Hanson."
Kate smiled slightly. "Thanks Cath." She walked off and Catherine set off with a feeling of dread toward the post office. When she arrived she nearly gasped. Annie Hanson was standing behind the counter serving people! Catherine walked in eyeing her in a confrontational kind of way.
"Oh you've turned up have you?" Maureen sniffed. Catherine kept silent. "Well as you can see I've hired young Anna here. She was out of work after the last air raid got the bakers so I brought her here. Thought she might be a good influence on you. She's marrying Doctor Smith in September you know."
Catherine bit her tongue. Doctor Smith was as highly opinionated as Maureen was and prematurely bald, not to mention incredibly annoying. "Congratulations," she said keeping her voice as neutral as she could manage. Maureen went on to make some nasty comments about Kate but Catherine shut her out knowing all Maureen wanted was to drag her into a confrontation.
The morning passed slowly for poor Catherine, whose thoughts were whirling like a hurricane, out of control and completely unstoppable. However hard she tried to focus, Annie Hanson showed her up the whole time, greeting and serving customers as if she'd been working in the Post Office her life. It was enough to make Catherine sick. She considered pleading feeling ill to Maureen, but she could just imagine the response that would get her, and she didn't need to make the situation worse. She had to concentrate, stay focused, and not let her thoughts wander. If she and Charlie were careful, no one else would ever find out about last night. She wouldn't let anyone-
"Cath-er-ine!" Maureen called, clapping her hands in front of Catherine's face to get her attention. "Wake up girl, there's work to do! Don't stand there daydreaming, get something useful done!"
Catherine blushed bright red, and hurriedly dashed off to the back room, eager to find something to do to keep her mind off Charlie for a while. Mechanically, she began unpacking the boxes of meagre supplies they'd had delivered this morning. Damn this war anyway, Catherine thought recklessly, her thoughts daring to express themselves in a way her words never would. Why couldn't everything be normal again? She wanted Cassie back; she wanted her old life back. Her quiet, peaceful life, however boring it may have seemed at the time. She wished that she'd never gone to that dance with Kate. She wished she'd never met Charlie.
Collapsing on one of the boxes, she buried her head in her arms and started to cry uncontrollably, the tears flowing as if they'd never stop. She tried wiping at them with her apron, but her attempts were useless. More and more salty tears washed down her cheeks in streams, ignoring her mind's command to get a grip on herself.
It wasn't long before Annie Baker came out the back to see what was wrong. Dropping the box she was carrying in surprise, she rushed over to where Catherine was still trying uselessly to gain control of herself once more.
"Cath!" she exclaimed. "What's wrong?" She and Catherine had never exactly been friends - often, the opposite had been true - but she hated to see someone so upset, and the older girl looked a forlorn sight sitting there alone. Pulling out her neatly folded hanky, she held it out to Catherine before sitting down beside her. "Cath, what's wrong?" she asked as Catherine took the hanky with a wordless nod of thanks.
"Everything..." she sobbed. Before she could stop herself, everything came pouring out of her heart and straight into Annie's ears - everything from Cassie's death to the previous night. She confided everything to the younger girl, who listened in amazed silence.
Finally, the outpouring stopped and Catherine's tears dried up. She was already kicking herself for confiding in Annie, but it was too late to go back now. It was with surprise that she looked up into Annie's eyes and saw only compassion and sympathy.
"Oh, Cath, it's been hard for all of us," she said, giving Catherine a supportive hug. "We've all lost people. We have to... to keep going," she whispered into her ear.
"You... you won't tell Maureen... will you?" Catherine asked in a strangled whisper.
Annie regarded her solemnly. "I'd never do that! Do you really have such a low opinion of me?"
Looking at her hands, Catherine murmured, "You've never given me any chance to find out."
Tears shone in Annie's eyes too. "I-I can't help being the person I am," she said shakily. "I think we might have both misjudged each other. Friends?"
Catherine smiled weakly. "I suppose we could try..."
It had been over two months since Catherine had seen the new side to Annie and they had grown closer with everyday they worked together. Kate, of course, was still angry and hated Annie with a vengeance. And Annie wasn't exactly friends with Kate either. Once she'd made a nasty comment about Kate to Jamie who'd then made the grave mistake of trying to fight Kate's battles for her. Kate had been mad and they didn't speak for a few days. Than Jamie had appeared at the door with a dozen red roses and he and Kate had 'kissed and made up' literally. Catherine was currently waiting to see the film Kate and Jamie had been to see earlier in the week. The fact that Kate could recall nothing of the plot made Catherine rather suspicious. The film itself was called 'Gone with the Wind' and Mary had said it was really romantic.
Charlie had gotten a pass for Saturday and now they were standing in line waiting for their tickets. "So Cathy, how's that friend of yours?" he asked.
She smiled, he obviously meant Annie. He knew Kate well enough to call her by name. "Annie's fine, why?"
Charlie grinned. "Little Gerry at the base has a hell of a crush on her. Do ya think she'd go out with him?"
Catherine sighed. "Annie got married last week, didn't I tell you? Her husband's the village doctor. He got injured and sent home so they brought their wedding plans forward."
Charlie grinned. "Poor Gerry will be devastated."
She rolled her eyes. The dreary looking man behind the counter called them up to buy their tickets.
"But where will I go? What will I do?"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
The curtain fell over the screen and everyone began to leave. "That was a lovely film, Charlie," Catherine commented on the way out.
"Yeah it was great," he agreed enthusiastically. Suddenly Catherine stopped, clutching her stomach.
"Oh God I feel sick," she moaned before running for the toilet. She only just reached it before she started retching.
A few minutes later, standing up she placed a hand on her head, which was spinning really badly.
"Excuse me, miss?" a young lady walked in.
"Yes?" said Catherine shakily taking deep breaths.
"Your boyfriend sent me in to see how you were." Despite how sick she was feeling Catherine smiled at Charlie's concern for her. "What do you want me to tell him?" the lady asked.
Catherine shook her head "Nothing, I'll tell him myself." Catherine emerged from the toilet to find Charlie hovering nearby looking anxious.
"Cathy, sweetheart you okay?" he asked. She nodded, trying not to look as ill as she felt. He didn't look convinced. "There's a bug going round. Flu or something, we'd better get you checked out by a doctor." Catherine started to protest but he cut her off. "Don't argue with me Cathy, your goin' to see a doctor 'k?"
She smiled weakly. "Dr. Smith is the nearest, the one who's married to Annie." Charlie nodded and helped her to walk out. Since they'd cycled, he insisted she sat on the bike while he wheeled it. She felt a bit of an idiot being driven along like a child learning to ride but she consoled herself with the fact that soon they would be at Doctor Smiths and he could tell Charlie there was nothing wrong with her.
She'd been sitting on the doctor's examining table for about an hour and her legs were going to sleep. He kept asking her questions like when do you feel sick, any particular time of day and what other symptoms do you have. He'd just left the room for the moment to discuss something with his wife. She hoped to God that it wasn't her. He re-entered wearing a slightly patronising smile.
"Well, Miss Stokes, it looks like congratulations are in order."
She looked at him blankly. "Huh? Oh... I mean, excuse me, Doctor?"
He heaved a long-suffering sigh. "You're pregnant, Miss Stokes."
"You're what?!" Kate hissed in surprise. "Cath - I - you - when - oh my!" Words failed the dumbfounded girl. She put a consoling arm around her friend's shoulder as they sat side by side at the edge of the lake. Catherine had taken a week to work up the courage to tell Kate, but it had been becoming too hard to hide anyway, forcing her hand somewhat. It was easy for Kate to notice her general lack of health, not to mention her excessive tiredness. "When did you find out?"
"The night Charlie and I went to the cinema," Catherine told her softly. "I wasn't feeling well, and he insisted I went to the Doctor."
"Doctor Smith? Does Annie know?" Kate asked, a tinge of jealousy colouring her tone of voice.
Catherine shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "She hasn't mentioned it to me, and I haven't told her." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do, Kate. Charlie's asked me to marry him."
Kate squealed in delight, despite the seriousness of the situation they were in. "That's wonderful, Cath! Did you say yes?"
"I - I haven't answered him yet," she admitted with a blush. "I'm so... so confused."
"Most people will look down on you if you don't," Kate commented sadly. "An unmarried woman with a child..."
"I know, I can just hear Maureen now... that's what worries me," Catherine confided with a nervous smile. "And - and I want to say yes, but I'm scared."
Kate looked surprised. "What do you have to be scared of? You both love each other very much."
"I'm scared I'll lose him," she whispered quietly, barely loud enough for Kate to hear. "I don't think I could stand it."
"Oh, Cath, I know how you feel," Kate sympathised. "I worry every time Jamie's away from me."
The two girls sat in companionable silence for the next few minutes, content to watch the July sunlight play across the still waters. Catherine found her thoughts turning to Cassie, remembering that awful night that had been preceded by such a pleasant day. She'd had a letter from Neil yesterday, and he was obviously taking it hard still. She wished that there was something that she could do for him, but, like every other soldier, he was expected to keep a brave face and do his duty, no matter what the personal cost. His next leave wasn't for two months as it was.
"Catherine!"
Both Catherine and Kate looked up at the same time, sharing a small smile at their private joke as they did so. Annie Smith was coming towards them, carrying a small basket and wearing a wide smile.
"Hello, Annie," Catherine greeted her with a smile. Kate managed a weak imitation as Annie sat down.
"I was going to have a picnic here by myself," she explained. "Would you mind if I joined you?" she asked breezily.
Catherine nodded. "Go ahead." Kate frowned a little, and shot an annoyed glance at Catherine. Catherine gave her a warning glance in return, to remind her to behave. She wasn't in the mood for arguments.
Unpacking the contents of the basket, Annie asked, "So, what have you two been doing this afternoon?"
"Just... talking," Kate said tersely. "Nothing that you need to worry about."
Annie looked slightly hurt, but Kate's dislike of her was no secret, so she wasn't surprised by the rebuff. Turning to Catherine, she asked, "Maureen wanted to know if you could start work earlier tomorrow morning, as she has to go on some urgent errands. I can't do it, John and I are going down to London tonight to visit relatives, and we're not coming back for two days."
Catherine nodded. "I suppose I could manage that," she agreed at last.
Catherine walked home from work as tired as she'd ever been. Things were difficult at the shop with Annie in London and Maureen constantly complaining of headaches and having to lie down. Catherine herself felt awful but Maureen insisted it was just a state of mind she had "A young thing like you? No, Catherine, it's all in your head, I'm getting on in years I have a right to feel a bit worse for wear but..." and so on. What was she supposed to say? Maureen, it's not in my head, I'm having the baby of a man I'm not married to who happens to be a G.I? She'd rather work herself to the ground.
"Cathy!"
Charlie, she thought immediately, no one else called her Cathy. Turning she saw him running toward her. She slowed so he could catch her even as dread filled her heart. She knew why he was here "Cathy," he greeted then his face grew serious. "Ya decided yet?"
She sighed, she knew it. "I don't know Charlie, it's all so sudden. I don't know." She shook her head helplessly.
He looked at her pleadingly. "But I love ya Cathy. I wanna spend the rest a my life with ya." But you don't know how much longer your life's going to be she thought involuntarily. He took both her hands and looked her in the eyes. "I promise I won't do nuffin' to get myself killed 'k? When we've won this war ya'll come back to the States with me and meet my folks and we'll bring our baby up together, maybe have more. I want a big family what 'bout you?"
He looked at her eagerly and she smiled wanly. "Sure, big family."
He grinned happily "And we'll get a house up in Canada maybe. Or in Florida, yep, Florida. Canada's too cold - ya won't like it. Florida's beautiful and so hot compared to Britain." He continued musing about where they would put their house while Catherine regarded him. He spoke like this more and more often lately. In the beginning it had been more like "Ya'll have to come with me to the States maybe if this god damn war ever finishes." But now he was planning every little detail and he was so happy doing it she couldn't point out either one of them could die at anytime. She sighed; he was so hopeful for the future, why couldn't she be like that? Why was she so morbid? She loved him, so why couldn't she bring herself to say yes to his proposal? Why did she continue to think that if she didn't marry maybe if he died it would hurt as much? Something inside her was telling her to take a risk for once in her life. Looking up at him she said "Charlie......?"
He stopped talking about houses for a second to grin at her "Yes Cathy?"
She took a deep breath. "Yes."
He looked confused. "Yes?"
She smiled slightly. "Yes, I will marry you."
He broke into a huge grin and swept her into his arms, spinning her round while hugging her tight. "Oh Cathy, Oh Cathy..." was all he could manage and he was close to tears.
She laughed at his reaction. "Come on, let's go home and tell Kate." She took his and they walked toward her apartment.
Kate grinned happily as she adjusted the simple dress Catherine had just put on. Unable to wear the traditional white, she was instead wearing a very pale blue one, of Kate's construction. Kate had spent hours fussing over her friend's hair and another half an hour deciding which necklace Catherine should wear.
"Oh, Cath, I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed for the fifteenth time that hour. "You're so lucky! I wish Jamie would propose..."
Catherine smiled in return. "Perhaps he will soon," she said, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. "Do I look alright now?"
Kate smiled in a motherly fashion. "Absolutely gorgeous," she reassured Catherine with a quick squeeze of her arm. "Now, hurry up, or you'll be late!" She picked up their coats and gas masks, and dashed downstairs with her youthful exuberance.
Catherine looked in the mirror again. She thought she looked like a nervous wreck, and she was dreading the comments that she knew she would hear. It was no longer a secret about her pregnancy, and the village gossips had had a field day - several, in fact. Her only consolation had been Kate and Charlie, and, to a lesser extent, Annie, who had returned from London last week. Her stomach turned and she groaned. Just what she didn't need - to feel sick. She would have enough trouble getting through this without feeling ill, too. Maureen... she could just hear her now... although she didn't want to in the least. The woman had been mortally disappointed in Catherine's behaviour, and had not wasted a single opportunity to make that known. She shook her head. What did Maureen know about love anyway?
Putting on a brave smile and tilting her chin defiantly, Catherine went downstairs to where the car was waiting.
Catherine hummed merrily to herself as she did the washing up. She'd been married to Charlie for a month now, and she was happier than she'd ever imagined being. They were living in what had been Kate and Catherine's house, now that Kate had moved in elsewhere with Jamie after their wedding, two weeks after that of Charlie and Catherine. The war was going well, and it rumour had it that it would be over soon.
That news brought mixed emotions to Catherine. On one hand, she was excited about possibly moving to America with Charlie, yet, on the other, she was nervous about leaving England. She'd lived here, in Eye, for all her life, and couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Still, the war wasn't over yet. There was still plenty of time to think everything over before making a final decision.
Her head shot up as the door opened, but she relaxed again as she heard Charlie call, "Catherine?"
"I'm in the kitchen, Charlie," she said, and she turned to see him walk in. "Are you alright, Charlie? You look a little pale."
He shook his head, dumping his bag on the table. "I'm flying out tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary, okay, so don't ya worry your pretty head over it." He ruffled her hair before kissing her on the cheek. "And how's my baby girl today?"
"It's a boy," Catherine laughed, kissing him back. "I thought I told you that already."
Charlie shook his head, merriment in his eyes. "Nope, she's a beautiful little baby girl, with hair like her mom's and eyes like two blue lakes."
"A boy just like his father... tall, dark, handsome..."
The two laughed, and hugged again. As Catherine rested her head on Charlie's shoulder, she wished that this perfect moment could last forever.
The wind whipped around his face, chilling him. He'd never get used to these cold English mornings; it wasn't exactly one of the things he'd come to love about England. And there were some things he liked. Obviously, his beautiful wife counted as number one. He smiled; Catherine was so unlike the girls he'd known in the States. When he'd first met her he'd thought she was a bit stuck up but he soon found out she was just careful. The girls here seemed to have a pureness about them that no girl he'd ever seen before had. We spoiled our girls, he thought, and I'm sure as hell we spoiled some of these girls as well but luckily, Cathy wasn't one of them. She was so beautiful and he felt so incredibly lucky to have her. And his baby. Boy or girl, he knew he would love it all the more for the fact it hadn't been planned.
He smiled again to himself as he pushed open the door to the room where the rest of his crew were waiting to fly the mission. Timothy Truevik their navigator was pouring over the maps of Germany in one corner. Tim always did that; he wanted to know everything exactly. Charlie personally concentrated on flying the plane. He wished Jamie was still their co-pilot, he didn't like having to 'break in' a new one. The replacement JK Freeman was a nice guy but thought a little too much of himself for Charlie's liking. Josh nodded to him as he passed while puffing away on a cigarette to calm his nerves. Charlie didn't need a cigarette to help calm his, he just told himself over and over if there was such a thing as a God there was no way he was going to die. Not with Catherine this close to giving birth. Gerry had just started up a game of chess with Josh and Charlie felt pity for the kid. Gerry hadn't flown many missions and the poor kid looked sick to his stomach with fear. Charlie gave him a reassuring grin and went to his locker. They had these to put their personal belongings in. Charlie's contained a picture of him and Catherine sitting by the lake and one of them on their wedding day. The only other items were a sealed envelope addressed to Catherine to be delivered to her if he was reported missing in action and the pack of cards he usually played with. He took out all his identifying papers and so that he had to carry round the base and placed them in the locker. If he was captured, he didn't want them on him.
Jamie stuck his head in the room. "Hey you guys, the lead planes are ready to take off! You'd better get a move on."
With that he was gone and Charlie followed, silently praying.
Catherine sat by the lake's edge, enjoying the calm of the lake and the cool breeze that was whistling through the trees, gently exciting the long branches of the willows. Charlie had complained that it was freezing cold, and that it wasn't a breeze at all, but nearly a hurricane, but Catherine had just laughed. Charlie had never grown used to their England mornings.
All of a sudden, she felt a chill. Looking up, she saw clouds gathering on the horizon. Big... nasty... grey clouds. She sighed. She was worried about Charlie, naturally, but she had faith - faith in God, faith in Charlie. He'd be fine. He'd come back. He had to. They had their child - Charlie had too much to live for in die in a fight.
The chill came again. It was more than the wind... it was a sense of... foreboding, maybe? Before her very eyes, the weather changed - where the breeze had been calm, fierce winds tore at her. Where there had been a few puffy white clouds, domineering grey ones instead gathered. The still lake became frenzied and the winds whistled through the grass and trees.
Catherine shut her eyes and shivered, hugging herself tighter. Still the winds grew, blowing harder and harder, whipping the surface of the lake into a mass of waves. Dimly she realised that she should be indoors, not out, in this weather, especially with her unborn child to think of. She staggered to her feet, buffeted by the winds, and barely able to keep her balance. Almost running, she sped towards the park gates, gathering speed as she went. The sense of foreboding she had increased exponentially, driving everything except the need to get out of the park out of her mind as she ran, stumbling. Her hair whipped around her face, and she fancied that she could hear Charlie's voice on the wind, reiterating his promise never to leave her.
She threw herself out of the park gates, leaning against the gatepost and shutting her eyes in an attempt to regain her breath, and her sense of equilibrium.
Then she turned, looking back at the lake through the railings.
It was still. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
Catherine ran.
"Tim I need to know where the hell I'm flying!" Charlie barked.
"The cloud is so thick it's difficult to calculate our position Captain."
Tim's calm baritone only served to annoy him more. "I don't care! You're a bloody navigator, so navigate!"
There was a pause before Tim answered, "Yes sir."
Charlie sighed.
"Captain, we got Messhersmitts on our tail." JK's voice made him turn just in time to see two off the Nazi planes streak by.
"This is Little Lady to Heavenly Body. Charlie you got some Jerrys on your tail. We got the California covering you. Keep in formation and you'll be fine."
He put stress on the last word. "Okay." Charlie caught the eye of the California's pilot and gave him a grin and thumbs up signal. The pilot grinned in return but by that time, Charlie had stopped grinning. The two Messhersmitts had released all hell on the California. The exchange of fire was brief but heated. The California didn't stand a chance. As it spiralled out of control toward the sea Charlie realised, his stomach giving a sickening lurch: we're next.
The Messhersmitts turned round for another strike. Gerry and Bobby were firing at them desperately but they were just too damn fast.
"Captain!" JK shouted at him, his eyes filled with fear.
"We've taken heavy damage, we're not going to make it to Germany and back. Hell I don't know if we can make it back to the emergency landing fields. But we gotta turn back!" Charlie shook his head. "We break formation and they'll be on us like Vultures!"
JK's voice rose in panic. "We gotta try! We stay in formation we'll run out of gas! We're leaking tons!" Charlie swallowed and muttered. "Damned if we do... damned if we don't." After a seconds thought he spoke "This is Heavenly Body to Little Lady. We're dropping out of formation to head back to England; we're heavily damaged and are leaking gas. Good luck with the mission, boys, and we'll see you back at the base."
The voice on the other end replied softly.
"Good luck. May God be with you." At this sentiment, Charlie crossed himself even though he wasn't particularly religious. "Okay guys let's do it."
Charlie swung the plane about, out of the tight formation. Almost immediately, the Messhersmit was on them, shaking the plane with burst after burst of rapid gunfire. There was no way Gerry and Bobby could return that kind of fire. The planes were moving too fast and they were too nervous. A small explosion rocked the plane.
"What the hell was that!" yelled JK.
Charlie leaned forward to check the monitors "We lost an engine!" he yelled back.
JK looked sick. "We gotta bail out!!!!"
Charlie nodded. "You make sure the rest of the crew gets out okay, I'll keep the plane steady." JK nodded and ran out. A few seconds later Charlie saw him bail out. The selfish bugger hadn't even bothered to tell the rest of the crew. Charlie swore for a moment before yelling "Gerry!" loudly. The young gunner hurried in, looking deathly pale.
"Gerry, we're going to have to bail out. Tell everyone then get out yourself, understood." Gerry nodded before hesitating "What about you captain?"
Charlie smiled reassuringly. "I'll hold the plane steady for you guys to jump and then I'll bail out myself." Gerry nodded before running out. Charlie watched as his crew bailed out. He counted the parachutes as they fell making sure they were all out. He stood and started to move toward the door.
He never reached it.
From his plane, Jamie watched in horror as Heavenly Body exploded in a ball of flame. Frantically he counted the parachutes. Eight. One missing. "Louis, take us low over the survivors." The co-pilot looked at him, surprised.
"Captain?"
Jamie glared at him. "Don't argue with me, just do it!"
Louis swung round over the survivors.
"Josh, Bobby, Gerry, Tim, JK, Brian, Sammy, Pete..." Jamie searched for Charlie's face. He wasn't there.
"He went down with the plane." Louis spoke quietly, with respect. Everyone respected... had respected Charlie. Jamie closed his eyes. "Take us back into formation before the Jerrys come back for another assault." Louis nodded.
Sgt. Broach approached the door where Charlie's wife lived. Charlie had officially lived on base but unofficially here. He hated this part of his job. He knocked hesitantly on the door. A pretty, very heavily pregnant woman opened the door a welcoming smile on her face. It died when she saw his face.
He ran a nervous hand through his rapidly disappearing hair.
"Ma'am, I'm here to inform you that while on a mission over Germany the B-17 known as Heavenly Body went down."
She looked shocked, numb. "Survivors?" she whispered, unnaturally pale. He recited their names. "Joshua Minahan, Robert Sampson, Gerald Diason, Timothy Truevik, James Karl Freeman, Brian Smyth, Samual Jones and Peter Robinson. I'm sorry..." He couldn't continue so he held out the letter Charlie had written to her.
She was frozen, one hand clasped protectively around her stomach and tears trickling down her face.
After a second, she clasped the letter. "Thank you for telling me," she said quietly before shutting the door.
But he still heard her cry of grief and pain and the sobs that followed.
He took a deep swig of his gin. Damn all the Nazis to hell, he thought bitterly.
It was with trepidation that Kate pushed open the door to the house she had once shared with Catherine - the building seemed unnaturally silent, and the blackout curtains were still up. The house was dark inside, the only light being that cast through the now slightly ajar front door. The whole house had a slightly haunted feel about it, as if the dead walked there. 'Perhaps', Kate thought with a shiver, 'they do...'
She shook herself, hard. That was stupid. It was a perfectly ordinary house... perfectly ordinary... perfectly ordinary...
Taking a deep breath, she headed towards the staircase, putting one foot in front of the other, one at a time, just concentrating on getting up there, even as her heart pounded. "Catherine?" she called softly. "Cath?"
There was no answer, although Kate fancied that she could hear a sob. She wasn't sure though... her mind seemed to playing tricks on her.
"Cath?"
Finally reaching the top of the staircase, Kate continued towards the bedroom, thanking God that she knew her way around this house in the dark. Silently berating herself for not bringing a candle, she pushed open the door to the bedroom.
Her eyes were adjusting to the dark - she could see Catherine's still form on the bed. She could hear light breathing, but about from that, there was silence.
"Cath?"
No movement from the bed - Kate walked closer and crouched down, placing a hand on Catherine's shoulder. She was cold to the touch, and Kate gently pulled a blanket up round her form.
"Kate. Go away."
Kate looked at Catherine, shocked.
Downstairs, Kate busied herself tidying the house up. Then, when she'd done it once... she did it again. And again. Finally, she looked about in exasperation. It was six hours later, and Catherine still hadn't said anything to her, or even acknowledged her existence. Well - to be fair - she had acknowledged her existence, but gone straight back to ignoring her after telling Kate to go away and leave her alone.
Kate's eyes narrowed determinedly, and, without thinking one more thought, she stormed up the stairs. Not even stopping to think about what she was doing, she marched into the bedroom.
"Catherine. Get up. Now."
Catherine pulled the blanket over her head. "Leave me alone."
"Catherine, you can't stay in bed forever!"
"Watch me," she muttered.
"Catherine!" Kate dived forward and ripped the blanket off her. "Get up now!"
"No." Catherine's voice was eerily calm, whereas Kate was getting more and more angry by the second.
"I can't let you lie here forever!" Kate took a deep breath to try to calm herself, forcing herself to remember what Catherine was going through. Cold fear gripped her gut as she realised that it could just have easily been Jamie who had been killed that night, but she tried to push the thought and the fear aside. Catherine needed her now. "It's been a week, Cath, and by all indications, you haven't moved out of bed once! Heaven knows if you've been eating!"
"Leave me alone!" Catherine yelled.
Despite herself, Kate smiled. It was the first genuine reaction to anything that Catherine had had all day. She wasn't even crying any more - just lying there as if waiting for something.
"Catherine-"
Kate's latest plea was cut off by a cry of agony from Catherine as she doubled over in pain.
"Cath?" Kate rushed forward and brushed the hair out of Catherine's face. "Is it-?"
Catherine nodded, eyes screwed shut in pain as she bit her lip to stop from screaming. She grabbed Kate's hand and held it tightly, her fingernails digging into Kate's skin. "Cath, you have to let me go - I have to call Dr. Smith-"
For a moment, Kate thought Catherine wouldn't let her go. Then, her hand dropped. With a last murmur of encouragement, Kate ran downstairs, hurtling to the telephone in the kitchen...
"Congratulations, Mrs Danson. It's a girl. Healthy, and weighing 8lb. You should be proud."
"I don't want her."
Dr John Smith stared at the young woman. "You can't mean that, Mrs Danson," he said, confused.
"Oh, can't I," Catherine muttered, but it was more to herself than the Doctor. She pulled the blanket back over herself. "Take it away. Kill it. I don't care."
Doctor Smith looked down at the infant lying in his arms. She was a calm baby, with large blue eyes, ones that reminded John of two still lakes. Faint wisps of red brown hair were evident on her head already. How anyone could refuse her, he didn't know. "Mrs Danson, she's your-"
He broke off as he noticed the new mother was no longer listening - in fact, she was no longer awake. With a heavy sigh, Dr Smith carried the infant downstairs.
"Mrs Lewis?"
Kate leapt up when Doctor Smith called her name. "What? How is she? How's the baby..." she trailed off as she saw the child in the Doctor's arms.
"I think Mrs Danson may be... disturbed at the moment, Mrs Lewis. She's sleeping now."
Fear leapt in Kate's eyes. "Disturbed? How?" she asked.
Dr Smith laid the baby in the crib that had once been set up in eager anticipation of her arrival. Drawing Kate aside, he asked, "How's she been acting since Mr Danson lost his life?"
"She's been withdrawn," Kate admitted with a shrug. "Lacklustre. I'm worried about her. But maybe having a baby to care for will change that?" she added, looking up at the doctor hopefully.
"I hope so... I hope so."
Kate moved to the side of the crib and looked over the child. "She looks like Cath," she commented, then returned half of her attention to Dr Smith's last comment. "Is there something you're not telling me?" she asked.
"I'm worried about Mrs Danson. She refused to acknowledge the baby."
"What?" asked Kate, disbelief evident in the whispered question. "Why would she...?"
Dr Smith looked at Kate with his piercing eyes and said, "It's not uncommon for victims of bereavement to try to avoid any reminder of that loss."
"You think Catherine's in denial?" Kate picked up her friend's daughter, and held her close.
"No."
Kate spun at the sound of the unexpected voice. She had had her back to the door, but now she turned to face the new arrival.
"I'm not in denial..." Catherine Danson explained, and walked up to Kate, who mutely offered the baby out to her mother. With love in her eyes at last, she claimed her child, lightly planting a kiss on her cheek before murmuring softly, "There's been too much loss already, hasn't there, Cassie Danson? Too much. I don't want to lose you too." She looked at Kate, appeal in her eyes. "Or you, Kate. I'm sorry."
She expected reproach or a hurt expression in Kate's eyes, but found only blessed acceptance and friendship there.
5 years later...
Catherine looked out at the lake that stretched in front of her. Waves stormed noisily on its normally calm surface, and fierce winds ripped through the trees above. Instead of being a peaceful blue, the lake was grey, reflecting the gathering clouds in the sky above. No one else was around, and for good reason - the weather suggested a good possibility of thunderstorms in the offing.
She wasn't entirely sure what had drawn her here, today of all days. She'd been sewing up a dress for Cassie's birthday - a week from now - when she had suddenly felt an urge to visit the lake. She hadn't been here since the fateful night five years ago - five years ago to the day, she realised with a start.
"Cathy?"
A shiver ran down her back, as the wind whistled through the trees. Only one person had ever called her Cathy, had ever said her name that way. But it wasn't possible, she told herself forcefully. He couldn't be here! He couldn'tcouldn'tcouldn'tcouldn'tco-
She started as she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Focusing on the middle of the lake, she searched for it, trying to find confirmation that it wasn't just her imagination playing tricks on her.
But - there it was again!
"Charlie?" she asked, her voice a strangled whisper as she struggled to comprehend what she was seeing. She stepped out onto the pier, walking past the lines of moored boats, feeling the ice cold water of the lake tossed over her feet, then receding again. "You're...you can't be here."
"Cathy?"
Mesmerised - almost hypnotised, she continued walking. Waves crashed over the old wooden pier, but Catherine paid them no heed.
"Charlie? Is that you?" she asked desperately.
"Cathy..."
Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she reached the end of the pier. "Charlie? Where are you? Why did you leave?"
"I never meant to leave..."
"But you did!"
"Cathy... after I died... I learnt something. This - all this - was never meant to happen."
Catherine took a step back; the words hit her like a physical blow. "Wh-what?"
"We're four hundred years early, Cathy."
She shook her head and covered her ears, trying to block out the tormenting words. "You can't believe that!" But still, the voice continued. It was in her mind now, something she couldn't ignore, try as she might. "What about Cassie? Was she never meant to be?"
"Cathy..."
Suddenly, she felt someone holding her close. Instinctively, she knew it was Charlie, and the thought chilled her to the bone. All this... never meant to happen. "How can that be?" she asked, shouting above the noise of the gathering storm.
"One day, you'll understand," came the reply, a calm whisper in her mind. "One day, we'll be together."
"Now..." she pleaded.
She could hear the sorrow in the wind, in his voice, in the sound of the water. "It cannot be..."
"It has to!"
There was no answer. She looked around desperately, searching for him, but she could no longer see him. Her only company was the storm and the lake.
Her life was never meant to be. Her life had been... nothing more than a mistake. She felt horribly alone - more alone than she ever had before, even after Charlie had died. She'd been forsaken by everything - even fate itself had abandoned her.
She looked at the lake once more. It was about twenty feet here, she knew...
Catherine jumped.
END
DisclaimerOkay, theoretically we don't need one here! Oh no - wait - Eye is a real place, and it belongs to whoever may own it... World War II belongs to history.
Notes: This story dates back to when Jenna and I first "met", so to speak... she asked someone to help her write a story. Guess which idiot (uh, helpful person, I mean...) jumped at the chance? Yup... you guessed it...glares witheringly No, not Brannon Braga.
Loosely based on the idea of a past life for everyone's favourite Captain and Commander, this story was born... and lets just say that it was a "labour" of love... ignores groans
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The ringing of the alarm clock woke Catherine. Moaning, she opened her eyes. It's too early... she thought. She had to get up and go to the shop in half an hour and Maureen would.... Maureen!! Last night, she'd come over and... oh heavens... after that!!! Catherine turned her head to see Charlie sleeping peacefully on the other side of her bed. Oh my god! Catherine thought. They'd...Catherine covered her mouth with her hand. Oh, what time was it! Kate was going to be back in less than quarter of an hour! She grabbed her robe and, putting it on, she hurried into the lounge. She used the last of the tea ration making two cups of tea; Kate wouldn't mind - she didn't like tea anyway. Walking back into the bedroom she paused, wondering how to wake Charlie up.
"Umm.... Charlie. Charlie!" she shook his arm.
"Wha...." he sat up and looked at her the veil of sleep gradually clearing "Oh Cathy. Good Morning," he yawned.
"Charlie, I have to go to work in half an hour and Kate's due back in less then ten minutes, so I would suggest you get dressed." He smiled at her
"Sure thing Cathy. Pass me my clothes could ya?" She did as he asked then went back to waiting in lounge. Nervous, she glanced at the clock. If Kate found out.... she'd NEVER hear the end of it. At exactly quarter past there was a knock at the door. Damn, thought Catherine, how come Kate's on time the one day I don't want her to be!
"Cathy?" Charlie called from the bedroom
"Just.. stay there for the minute. I'll handle it." Catherine went to the door and opened it to a red eyed Kate with tears streaming down her face
"Kate?" asked Catherine shocked.
"They, they called me a whore!" Kate sobbed. "They told me I ought to have stayed in London because they don't want me here."
Catherine put her arms around Kate. "Oh, Kate, who did?" Kate drew a shaky breath " The people I thought were my friends. Mary and Katie Smith and Annie Hanson and Peggie....."
Catherine sighed. "The village gossips basically."
Kate nodded "Maureen told them. She told everyone!" Kate burst into fresh sobs "Even my mother's not speaking to me!"
Catherine had never felt so angry in her life. How dare Maureen! "And, and she told me to say to you, let this be a warning to you. That she'd spared you because she thought you were still Christian at heart but I........" Kate stopped to try to regain her control. "I was already going to hell for my evil deeds." At this, Kate began crying again and Catherine hugged her. "You, you wouldn't understand Catherine. Everyone knows you're a nice, clean girl. No one would ever say anything like this about you." Catherine sighed inwardly.
"Charlie!" she called softly as Kate looked at her in shock. Charlie walked in looking terribly self-conscious. "Mornin'" he said to Kate. Kate just looked at him in utter amazement.
"Catherine? You....my god!"
Catherine grabbed her arms "DON'T tell anyone Kate, promise me you won't."
Kate looked at her wiping away her tears "I promise Catherine. I wouldn't want you to be called what I was. I deserve it, you never would."
Catherine shook Kate a little "You don't deserve that. You're not evil, Kate. You're just in love and there is NOTHING wrong with that."
Kate nodded her head "I guess, I guess I'm just scared he's not going to come back. That he's going to die and I'm going to be alone again."
Catherine smiled gently. "I understand Kate, really I do."
Catherine turned her smile to Charlie "You'd better go." He nodded "I'll see ya around Cathy." He leaned down and kissed her before leaving.
Catherine gave Kate a final hug before saying, "You're going to be late and so am I, come on."
Catherine walked slowly through the village with Kate walking slightly behind her. Kate was a lot better now, walking with her old stride and defiant air.
That's it, thought Catherine, don't let them get to you Kate, show them that you're made of tougher stuff than they are. At the crossroads, Kate had to head in a different direction to Catherine so they hugged before parting "Don't let it bother you Kate. You're worth fifty of Annie Hanson."
Kate smiled slightly. "Thanks Cath." She walked off and Catherine set off with a feeling of dread toward the post office. When she arrived she nearly gasped. Annie Hanson was standing behind the counter serving people! Catherine walked in eyeing her in a confrontational kind of way.
"Oh you've turned up have you?" Maureen sniffed. Catherine kept silent. "Well as you can see I've hired young Anna here. She was out of work after the last air raid got the bakers so I brought her here. Thought she might be a good influence on you. She's marrying Doctor Smith in September you know."
Catherine bit her tongue. Doctor Smith was as highly opinionated as Maureen was and prematurely bald, not to mention incredibly annoying. "Congratulations," she said keeping her voice as neutral as she could manage. Maureen went on to make some nasty comments about Kate but Catherine shut her out knowing all Maureen wanted was to drag her into a confrontation.
The morning passed slowly for poor Catherine, whose thoughts were whirling like a hurricane, out of control and completely unstoppable. However hard she tried to focus, Annie Hanson showed her up the whole time, greeting and serving customers as if she'd been working in the Post Office her life. It was enough to make Catherine sick. She considered pleading feeling ill to Maureen, but she could just imagine the response that would get her, and she didn't need to make the situation worse. She had to concentrate, stay focused, and not let her thoughts wander. If she and Charlie were careful, no one else would ever find out about last night. She wouldn't let anyone-
"Cath-er-ine!" Maureen called, clapping her hands in front of Catherine's face to get her attention. "Wake up girl, there's work to do! Don't stand there daydreaming, get something useful done!"
Catherine blushed bright red, and hurriedly dashed off to the back room, eager to find something to do to keep her mind off Charlie for a while. Mechanically, she began unpacking the boxes of meagre supplies they'd had delivered this morning. Damn this war anyway, Catherine thought recklessly, her thoughts daring to express themselves in a way her words never would. Why couldn't everything be normal again? She wanted Cassie back; she wanted her old life back. Her quiet, peaceful life, however boring it may have seemed at the time. She wished that she'd never gone to that dance with Kate. She wished she'd never met Charlie.
Collapsing on one of the boxes, she buried her head in her arms and started to cry uncontrollably, the tears flowing as if they'd never stop. She tried wiping at them with her apron, but her attempts were useless. More and more salty tears washed down her cheeks in streams, ignoring her mind's command to get a grip on herself.
It wasn't long before Annie Baker came out the back to see what was wrong. Dropping the box she was carrying in surprise, she rushed over to where Catherine was still trying uselessly to gain control of herself once more.
"Cath!" she exclaimed. "What's wrong?" She and Catherine had never exactly been friends - often, the opposite had been true - but she hated to see someone so upset, and the older girl looked a forlorn sight sitting there alone. Pulling out her neatly folded hanky, she held it out to Catherine before sitting down beside her. "Cath, what's wrong?" she asked as Catherine took the hanky with a wordless nod of thanks.
"Everything..." she sobbed. Before she could stop herself, everything came pouring out of her heart and straight into Annie's ears - everything from Cassie's death to the previous night. She confided everything to the younger girl, who listened in amazed silence.
Finally, the outpouring stopped and Catherine's tears dried up. She was already kicking herself for confiding in Annie, but it was too late to go back now. It was with surprise that she looked up into Annie's eyes and saw only compassion and sympathy.
"Oh, Cath, it's been hard for all of us," she said, giving Catherine a supportive hug. "We've all lost people. We have to... to keep going," she whispered into her ear.
"You... you won't tell Maureen... will you?" Catherine asked in a strangled whisper.
Annie regarded her solemnly. "I'd never do that! Do you really have such a low opinion of me?"
Looking at her hands, Catherine murmured, "You've never given me any chance to find out."
Tears shone in Annie's eyes too. "I-I can't help being the person I am," she said shakily. "I think we might have both misjudged each other. Friends?"
Catherine smiled weakly. "I suppose we could try..."
It had been over two months since Catherine had seen the new side to Annie and they had grown closer with everyday they worked together. Kate, of course, was still angry and hated Annie with a vengeance. And Annie wasn't exactly friends with Kate either. Once she'd made a nasty comment about Kate to Jamie who'd then made the grave mistake of trying to fight Kate's battles for her. Kate had been mad and they didn't speak for a few days. Than Jamie had appeared at the door with a dozen red roses and he and Kate had 'kissed and made up' literally. Catherine was currently waiting to see the film Kate and Jamie had been to see earlier in the week. The fact that Kate could recall nothing of the plot made Catherine rather suspicious. The film itself was called 'Gone with the Wind' and Mary had said it was really romantic.
Charlie had gotten a pass for Saturday and now they were standing in line waiting for their tickets. "So Cathy, how's that friend of yours?" he asked.
She smiled, he obviously meant Annie. He knew Kate well enough to call her by name. "Annie's fine, why?"
Charlie grinned. "Little Gerry at the base has a hell of a crush on her. Do ya think she'd go out with him?"
Catherine sighed. "Annie got married last week, didn't I tell you? Her husband's the village doctor. He got injured and sent home so they brought their wedding plans forward."
Charlie grinned. "Poor Gerry will be devastated."
She rolled her eyes. The dreary looking man behind the counter called them up to buy their tickets.
"But where will I go? What will I do?"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
The curtain fell over the screen and everyone began to leave. "That was a lovely film, Charlie," Catherine commented on the way out.
"Yeah it was great," he agreed enthusiastically. Suddenly Catherine stopped, clutching her stomach.
"Oh God I feel sick," she moaned before running for the toilet. She only just reached it before she started retching.
A few minutes later, standing up she placed a hand on her head, which was spinning really badly.
"Excuse me, miss?" a young lady walked in.
"Yes?" said Catherine shakily taking deep breaths.
"Your boyfriend sent me in to see how you were." Despite how sick she was feeling Catherine smiled at Charlie's concern for her. "What do you want me to tell him?" the lady asked.
Catherine shook her head "Nothing, I'll tell him myself." Catherine emerged from the toilet to find Charlie hovering nearby looking anxious.
"Cathy, sweetheart you okay?" he asked. She nodded, trying not to look as ill as she felt. He didn't look convinced. "There's a bug going round. Flu or something, we'd better get you checked out by a doctor." Catherine started to protest but he cut her off. "Don't argue with me Cathy, your goin' to see a doctor 'k?"
She smiled weakly. "Dr. Smith is the nearest, the one who's married to Annie." Charlie nodded and helped her to walk out. Since they'd cycled, he insisted she sat on the bike while he wheeled it. She felt a bit of an idiot being driven along like a child learning to ride but she consoled herself with the fact that soon they would be at Doctor Smiths and he could tell Charlie there was nothing wrong with her.
She'd been sitting on the doctor's examining table for about an hour and her legs were going to sleep. He kept asking her questions like when do you feel sick, any particular time of day and what other symptoms do you have. He'd just left the room for the moment to discuss something with his wife. She hoped to God that it wasn't her. He re-entered wearing a slightly patronising smile.
"Well, Miss Stokes, it looks like congratulations are in order."
She looked at him blankly. "Huh? Oh... I mean, excuse me, Doctor?"
He heaved a long-suffering sigh. "You're pregnant, Miss Stokes."
"You're what?!" Kate hissed in surprise. "Cath - I - you - when - oh my!" Words failed the dumbfounded girl. She put a consoling arm around her friend's shoulder as they sat side by side at the edge of the lake. Catherine had taken a week to work up the courage to tell Kate, but it had been becoming too hard to hide anyway, forcing her hand somewhat. It was easy for Kate to notice her general lack of health, not to mention her excessive tiredness. "When did you find out?"
"The night Charlie and I went to the cinema," Catherine told her softly. "I wasn't feeling well, and he insisted I went to the Doctor."
"Doctor Smith? Does Annie know?" Kate asked, a tinge of jealousy colouring her tone of voice.
Catherine shrugged. "I don't know," she admitted. "She hasn't mentioned it to me, and I haven't told her." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do, Kate. Charlie's asked me to marry him."
Kate squealed in delight, despite the seriousness of the situation they were in. "That's wonderful, Cath! Did you say yes?"
"I - I haven't answered him yet," she admitted with a blush. "I'm so... so confused."
"Most people will look down on you if you don't," Kate commented sadly. "An unmarried woman with a child..."
"I know, I can just hear Maureen now... that's what worries me," Catherine confided with a nervous smile. "And - and I want to say yes, but I'm scared."
Kate looked surprised. "What do you have to be scared of? You both love each other very much."
"I'm scared I'll lose him," she whispered quietly, barely loud enough for Kate to hear. "I don't think I could stand it."
"Oh, Cath, I know how you feel," Kate sympathised. "I worry every time Jamie's away from me."
The two girls sat in companionable silence for the next few minutes, content to watch the July sunlight play across the still waters. Catherine found her thoughts turning to Cassie, remembering that awful night that had been preceded by such a pleasant day. She'd had a letter from Neil yesterday, and he was obviously taking it hard still. She wished that there was something that she could do for him, but, like every other soldier, he was expected to keep a brave face and do his duty, no matter what the personal cost. His next leave wasn't for two months as it was.
"Catherine!"
Both Catherine and Kate looked up at the same time, sharing a small smile at their private joke as they did so. Annie Smith was coming towards them, carrying a small basket and wearing a wide smile.
"Hello, Annie," Catherine greeted her with a smile. Kate managed a weak imitation as Annie sat down.
"I was going to have a picnic here by myself," she explained. "Would you mind if I joined you?" she asked breezily.
Catherine nodded. "Go ahead." Kate frowned a little, and shot an annoyed glance at Catherine. Catherine gave her a warning glance in return, to remind her to behave. She wasn't in the mood for arguments.
Unpacking the contents of the basket, Annie asked, "So, what have you two been doing this afternoon?"
"Just... talking," Kate said tersely. "Nothing that you need to worry about."
Annie looked slightly hurt, but Kate's dislike of her was no secret, so she wasn't surprised by the rebuff. Turning to Catherine, she asked, "Maureen wanted to know if you could start work earlier tomorrow morning, as she has to go on some urgent errands. I can't do it, John and I are going down to London tonight to visit relatives, and we're not coming back for two days."
Catherine nodded. "I suppose I could manage that," she agreed at last.
Catherine walked home from work as tired as she'd ever been. Things were difficult at the shop with Annie in London and Maureen constantly complaining of headaches and having to lie down. Catherine herself felt awful but Maureen insisted it was just a state of mind she had "A young thing like you? No, Catherine, it's all in your head, I'm getting on in years I have a right to feel a bit worse for wear but..." and so on. What was she supposed to say? Maureen, it's not in my head, I'm having the baby of a man I'm not married to who happens to be a G.I? She'd rather work herself to the ground.
"Cathy!"
Charlie, she thought immediately, no one else called her Cathy. Turning she saw him running toward her. She slowed so he could catch her even as dread filled her heart. She knew why he was here "Cathy," he greeted then his face grew serious. "Ya decided yet?"
She sighed, she knew it. "I don't know Charlie, it's all so sudden. I don't know." She shook her head helplessly.
He looked at her pleadingly. "But I love ya Cathy. I wanna spend the rest a my life with ya." But you don't know how much longer your life's going to be she thought involuntarily. He took both her hands and looked her in the eyes. "I promise I won't do nuffin' to get myself killed 'k? When we've won this war ya'll come back to the States with me and meet my folks and we'll bring our baby up together, maybe have more. I want a big family what 'bout you?"
He looked at her eagerly and she smiled wanly. "Sure, big family."
He grinned happily "And we'll get a house up in Canada maybe. Or in Florida, yep, Florida. Canada's too cold - ya won't like it. Florida's beautiful and so hot compared to Britain." He continued musing about where they would put their house while Catherine regarded him. He spoke like this more and more often lately. In the beginning it had been more like "Ya'll have to come with me to the States maybe if this god damn war ever finishes." But now he was planning every little detail and he was so happy doing it she couldn't point out either one of them could die at anytime. She sighed; he was so hopeful for the future, why couldn't she be like that? Why was she so morbid? She loved him, so why couldn't she bring herself to say yes to his proposal? Why did she continue to think that if she didn't marry maybe if he died it would hurt as much? Something inside her was telling her to take a risk for once in her life. Looking up at him she said "Charlie......?"
He stopped talking about houses for a second to grin at her "Yes Cathy?"
She took a deep breath. "Yes."
He looked confused. "Yes?"
She smiled slightly. "Yes, I will marry you."
He broke into a huge grin and swept her into his arms, spinning her round while hugging her tight. "Oh Cathy, Oh Cathy..." was all he could manage and he was close to tears.
She laughed at his reaction. "Come on, let's go home and tell Kate." She took his and they walked toward her apartment.
Kate grinned happily as she adjusted the simple dress Catherine had just put on. Unable to wear the traditional white, she was instead wearing a very pale blue one, of Kate's construction. Kate had spent hours fussing over her friend's hair and another half an hour deciding which necklace Catherine should wear.
"Oh, Cath, I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed for the fifteenth time that hour. "You're so lucky! I wish Jamie would propose..."
Catherine smiled in return. "Perhaps he will soon," she said, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. "Do I look alright now?"
Kate smiled in a motherly fashion. "Absolutely gorgeous," she reassured Catherine with a quick squeeze of her arm. "Now, hurry up, or you'll be late!" She picked up their coats and gas masks, and dashed downstairs with her youthful exuberance.
Catherine looked in the mirror again. She thought she looked like a nervous wreck, and she was dreading the comments that she knew she would hear. It was no longer a secret about her pregnancy, and the village gossips had had a field day - several, in fact. Her only consolation had been Kate and Charlie, and, to a lesser extent, Annie, who had returned from London last week. Her stomach turned and she groaned. Just what she didn't need - to feel sick. She would have enough trouble getting through this without feeling ill, too. Maureen... she could just hear her now... although she didn't want to in the least. The woman had been mortally disappointed in Catherine's behaviour, and had not wasted a single opportunity to make that known. She shook her head. What did Maureen know about love anyway?
Putting on a brave smile and tilting her chin defiantly, Catherine went downstairs to where the car was waiting.
Catherine hummed merrily to herself as she did the washing up. She'd been married to Charlie for a month now, and she was happier than she'd ever imagined being. They were living in what had been Kate and Catherine's house, now that Kate had moved in elsewhere with Jamie after their wedding, two weeks after that of Charlie and Catherine. The war was going well, and it rumour had it that it would be over soon.
That news brought mixed emotions to Catherine. On one hand, she was excited about possibly moving to America with Charlie, yet, on the other, she was nervous about leaving England. She'd lived here, in Eye, for all her life, and couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Still, the war wasn't over yet. There was still plenty of time to think everything over before making a final decision.
Her head shot up as the door opened, but she relaxed again as she heard Charlie call, "Catherine?"
"I'm in the kitchen, Charlie," she said, and she turned to see him walk in. "Are you alright, Charlie? You look a little pale."
He shook his head, dumping his bag on the table. "I'm flying out tonight. Nothing out of the ordinary, okay, so don't ya worry your pretty head over it." He ruffled her hair before kissing her on the cheek. "And how's my baby girl today?"
"It's a boy," Catherine laughed, kissing him back. "I thought I told you that already."
Charlie shook his head, merriment in his eyes. "Nope, she's a beautiful little baby girl, with hair like her mom's and eyes like two blue lakes."
"A boy just like his father... tall, dark, handsome..."
The two laughed, and hugged again. As Catherine rested her head on Charlie's shoulder, she wished that this perfect moment could last forever.
The wind whipped around his face, chilling him. He'd never get used to these cold English mornings; it wasn't exactly one of the things he'd come to love about England. And there were some things he liked. Obviously, his beautiful wife counted as number one. He smiled; Catherine was so unlike the girls he'd known in the States. When he'd first met her he'd thought she was a bit stuck up but he soon found out she was just careful. The girls here seemed to have a pureness about them that no girl he'd ever seen before had. We spoiled our girls, he thought, and I'm sure as hell we spoiled some of these girls as well but luckily, Cathy wasn't one of them. She was so beautiful and he felt so incredibly lucky to have her. And his baby. Boy or girl, he knew he would love it all the more for the fact it hadn't been planned.
He smiled again to himself as he pushed open the door to the room where the rest of his crew were waiting to fly the mission. Timothy Truevik their navigator was pouring over the maps of Germany in one corner. Tim always did that; he wanted to know everything exactly. Charlie personally concentrated on flying the plane. He wished Jamie was still their co-pilot, he didn't like having to 'break in' a new one. The replacement JK Freeman was a nice guy but thought a little too much of himself for Charlie's liking. Josh nodded to him as he passed while puffing away on a cigarette to calm his nerves. Charlie didn't need a cigarette to help calm his, he just told himself over and over if there was such a thing as a God there was no way he was going to die. Not with Catherine this close to giving birth. Gerry had just started up a game of chess with Josh and Charlie felt pity for the kid. Gerry hadn't flown many missions and the poor kid looked sick to his stomach with fear. Charlie gave him a reassuring grin and went to his locker. They had these to put their personal belongings in. Charlie's contained a picture of him and Catherine sitting by the lake and one of them on their wedding day. The only other items were a sealed envelope addressed to Catherine to be delivered to her if he was reported missing in action and the pack of cards he usually played with. He took out all his identifying papers and so that he had to carry round the base and placed them in the locker. If he was captured, he didn't want them on him.
Jamie stuck his head in the room. "Hey you guys, the lead planes are ready to take off! You'd better get a move on."
With that he was gone and Charlie followed, silently praying.
Catherine sat by the lake's edge, enjoying the calm of the lake and the cool breeze that was whistling through the trees, gently exciting the long branches of the willows. Charlie had complained that it was freezing cold, and that it wasn't a breeze at all, but nearly a hurricane, but Catherine had just laughed. Charlie had never grown used to their England mornings.
All of a sudden, she felt a chill. Looking up, she saw clouds gathering on the horizon. Big... nasty... grey clouds. She sighed. She was worried about Charlie, naturally, but she had faith - faith in God, faith in Charlie. He'd be fine. He'd come back. He had to. They had their child - Charlie had too much to live for in die in a fight.
The chill came again. It was more than the wind... it was a sense of... foreboding, maybe? Before her very eyes, the weather changed - where the breeze had been calm, fierce winds tore at her. Where there had been a few puffy white clouds, domineering grey ones instead gathered. The still lake became frenzied and the winds whistled through the grass and trees.
Catherine shut her eyes and shivered, hugging herself tighter. Still the winds grew, blowing harder and harder, whipping the surface of the lake into a mass of waves. Dimly she realised that she should be indoors, not out, in this weather, especially with her unborn child to think of. She staggered to her feet, buffeted by the winds, and barely able to keep her balance. Almost running, she sped towards the park gates, gathering speed as she went. The sense of foreboding she had increased exponentially, driving everything except the need to get out of the park out of her mind as she ran, stumbling. Her hair whipped around her face, and she fancied that she could hear Charlie's voice on the wind, reiterating his promise never to leave her.
She threw herself out of the park gates, leaning against the gatepost and shutting her eyes in an attempt to regain her breath, and her sense of equilibrium.
Then she turned, looking back at the lake through the railings.
It was still. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
Catherine ran.
"Tim I need to know where the hell I'm flying!" Charlie barked.
"The cloud is so thick it's difficult to calculate our position Captain."
Tim's calm baritone only served to annoy him more. "I don't care! You're a bloody navigator, so navigate!"
There was a pause before Tim answered, "Yes sir."
Charlie sighed.
"Captain, we got Messhersmitts on our tail." JK's voice made him turn just in time to see two off the Nazi planes streak by.
"This is Little Lady to Heavenly Body. Charlie you got some Jerrys on your tail. We got the California covering you. Keep in formation and you'll be fine."
He put stress on the last word. "Okay." Charlie caught the eye of the California's pilot and gave him a grin and thumbs up signal. The pilot grinned in return but by that time, Charlie had stopped grinning. The two Messhersmitts had released all hell on the California. The exchange of fire was brief but heated. The California didn't stand a chance. As it spiralled out of control toward the sea Charlie realised, his stomach giving a sickening lurch: we're next.
The Messhersmitts turned round for another strike. Gerry and Bobby were firing at them desperately but they were just too damn fast.
"Captain!" JK shouted at him, his eyes filled with fear.
"We've taken heavy damage, we're not going to make it to Germany and back. Hell I don't know if we can make it back to the emergency landing fields. But we gotta turn back!" Charlie shook his head. "We break formation and they'll be on us like Vultures!"
JK's voice rose in panic. "We gotta try! We stay in formation we'll run out of gas! We're leaking tons!" Charlie swallowed and muttered. "Damned if we do... damned if we don't." After a seconds thought he spoke "This is Heavenly Body to Little Lady. We're dropping out of formation to head back to England; we're heavily damaged and are leaking gas. Good luck with the mission, boys, and we'll see you back at the base."
The voice on the other end replied softly.
"Good luck. May God be with you." At this sentiment, Charlie crossed himself even though he wasn't particularly religious. "Okay guys let's do it."
Charlie swung the plane about, out of the tight formation. Almost immediately, the Messhersmit was on them, shaking the plane with burst after burst of rapid gunfire. There was no way Gerry and Bobby could return that kind of fire. The planes were moving too fast and they were too nervous. A small explosion rocked the plane.
"What the hell was that!" yelled JK.
Charlie leaned forward to check the monitors "We lost an engine!" he yelled back.
JK looked sick. "We gotta bail out!!!!"
Charlie nodded. "You make sure the rest of the crew gets out okay, I'll keep the plane steady." JK nodded and ran out. A few seconds later Charlie saw him bail out. The selfish bugger hadn't even bothered to tell the rest of the crew. Charlie swore for a moment before yelling "Gerry!" loudly. The young gunner hurried in, looking deathly pale.
"Gerry, we're going to have to bail out. Tell everyone then get out yourself, understood." Gerry nodded before hesitating "What about you captain?"
Charlie smiled reassuringly. "I'll hold the plane steady for you guys to jump and then I'll bail out myself." Gerry nodded before running out. Charlie watched as his crew bailed out. He counted the parachutes as they fell making sure they were all out. He stood and started to move toward the door.
He never reached it.
From his plane, Jamie watched in horror as Heavenly Body exploded in a ball of flame. Frantically he counted the parachutes. Eight. One missing. "Louis, take us low over the survivors." The co-pilot looked at him, surprised.
"Captain?"
Jamie glared at him. "Don't argue with me, just do it!"
Louis swung round over the survivors.
"Josh, Bobby, Gerry, Tim, JK, Brian, Sammy, Pete..." Jamie searched for Charlie's face. He wasn't there.
"He went down with the plane." Louis spoke quietly, with respect. Everyone respected... had respected Charlie. Jamie closed his eyes. "Take us back into formation before the Jerrys come back for another assault." Louis nodded.
Sgt. Broach approached the door where Charlie's wife lived. Charlie had officially lived on base but unofficially here. He hated this part of his job. He knocked hesitantly on the door. A pretty, very heavily pregnant woman opened the door a welcoming smile on her face. It died when she saw his face.
He ran a nervous hand through his rapidly disappearing hair.
"Ma'am, I'm here to inform you that while on a mission over Germany the B-17 known as Heavenly Body went down."
She looked shocked, numb. "Survivors?" she whispered, unnaturally pale. He recited their names. "Joshua Minahan, Robert Sampson, Gerald Diason, Timothy Truevik, James Karl Freeman, Brian Smyth, Samual Jones and Peter Robinson. I'm sorry..." He couldn't continue so he held out the letter Charlie had written to her.
She was frozen, one hand clasped protectively around her stomach and tears trickling down her face.
After a second, she clasped the letter. "Thank you for telling me," she said quietly before shutting the door.
But he still heard her cry of grief and pain and the sobs that followed.
He took a deep swig of his gin. Damn all the Nazis to hell, he thought bitterly.
It was with trepidation that Kate pushed open the door to the house she had once shared with Catherine - the building seemed unnaturally silent, and the blackout curtains were still up. The house was dark inside, the only light being that cast through the now slightly ajar front door. The whole house had a slightly haunted feel about it, as if the dead walked there. 'Perhaps', Kate thought with a shiver, 'they do...'
She shook herself, hard. That was stupid. It was a perfectly ordinary house... perfectly ordinary... perfectly ordinary...
Taking a deep breath, she headed towards the staircase, putting one foot in front of the other, one at a time, just concentrating on getting up there, even as her heart pounded. "Catherine?" she called softly. "Cath?"
There was no answer, although Kate fancied that she could hear a sob. She wasn't sure though... her mind seemed to playing tricks on her.
"Cath?"
Finally reaching the top of the staircase, Kate continued towards the bedroom, thanking God that she knew her way around this house in the dark. Silently berating herself for not bringing a candle, she pushed open the door to the bedroom.
Her eyes were adjusting to the dark - she could see Catherine's still form on the bed. She could hear light breathing, but about from that, there was silence.
"Cath?"
No movement from the bed - Kate walked closer and crouched down, placing a hand on Catherine's shoulder. She was cold to the touch, and Kate gently pulled a blanket up round her form.
"Kate. Go away."
Kate looked at Catherine, shocked.
Downstairs, Kate busied herself tidying the house up. Then, when she'd done it once... she did it again. And again. Finally, she looked about in exasperation. It was six hours later, and Catherine still hadn't said anything to her, or even acknowledged her existence. Well - to be fair - she had acknowledged her existence, but gone straight back to ignoring her after telling Kate to go away and leave her alone.
Kate's eyes narrowed determinedly, and, without thinking one more thought, she stormed up the stairs. Not even stopping to think about what she was doing, she marched into the bedroom.
"Catherine. Get up. Now."
Catherine pulled the blanket over her head. "Leave me alone."
"Catherine, you can't stay in bed forever!"
"Watch me," she muttered.
"Catherine!" Kate dived forward and ripped the blanket off her. "Get up now!"
"No." Catherine's voice was eerily calm, whereas Kate was getting more and more angry by the second.
"I can't let you lie here forever!" Kate took a deep breath to try to calm herself, forcing herself to remember what Catherine was going through. Cold fear gripped her gut as she realised that it could just have easily been Jamie who had been killed that night, but she tried to push the thought and the fear aside. Catherine needed her now. "It's been a week, Cath, and by all indications, you haven't moved out of bed once! Heaven knows if you've been eating!"
"Leave me alone!" Catherine yelled.
Despite herself, Kate smiled. It was the first genuine reaction to anything that Catherine had had all day. She wasn't even crying any more - just lying there as if waiting for something.
"Catherine-"
Kate's latest plea was cut off by a cry of agony from Catherine as she doubled over in pain.
"Cath?" Kate rushed forward and brushed the hair out of Catherine's face. "Is it-?"
Catherine nodded, eyes screwed shut in pain as she bit her lip to stop from screaming. She grabbed Kate's hand and held it tightly, her fingernails digging into Kate's skin. "Cath, you have to let me go - I have to call Dr. Smith-"
For a moment, Kate thought Catherine wouldn't let her go. Then, her hand dropped. With a last murmur of encouragement, Kate ran downstairs, hurtling to the telephone in the kitchen...
"Congratulations, Mrs Danson. It's a girl. Healthy, and weighing 8lb. You should be proud."
"I don't want her."
Dr John Smith stared at the young woman. "You can't mean that, Mrs Danson," he said, confused.
"Oh, can't I," Catherine muttered, but it was more to herself than the Doctor. She pulled the blanket back over herself. "Take it away. Kill it. I don't care."
Doctor Smith looked down at the infant lying in his arms. She was a calm baby, with large blue eyes, ones that reminded John of two still lakes. Faint wisps of red brown hair were evident on her head already. How anyone could refuse her, he didn't know. "Mrs Danson, she's your-"
He broke off as he noticed the new mother was no longer listening - in fact, she was no longer awake. With a heavy sigh, Dr Smith carried the infant downstairs.
"Mrs Lewis?"
Kate leapt up when Doctor Smith called her name. "What? How is she? How's the baby..." she trailed off as she saw the child in the Doctor's arms.
"I think Mrs Danson may be... disturbed at the moment, Mrs Lewis. She's sleeping now."
Fear leapt in Kate's eyes. "Disturbed? How?" she asked.
Dr Smith laid the baby in the crib that had once been set up in eager anticipation of her arrival. Drawing Kate aside, he asked, "How's she been acting since Mr Danson lost his life?"
"She's been withdrawn," Kate admitted with a shrug. "Lacklustre. I'm worried about her. But maybe having a baby to care for will change that?" she added, looking up at the doctor hopefully.
"I hope so... I hope so."
Kate moved to the side of the crib and looked over the child. "She looks like Cath," she commented, then returned half of her attention to Dr Smith's last comment. "Is there something you're not telling me?" she asked.
"I'm worried about Mrs Danson. She refused to acknowledge the baby."
"What?" asked Kate, disbelief evident in the whispered question. "Why would she...?"
Dr Smith looked at Kate with his piercing eyes and said, "It's not uncommon for victims of bereavement to try to avoid any reminder of that loss."
"You think Catherine's in denial?" Kate picked up her friend's daughter, and held her close.
"No."
Kate spun at the sound of the unexpected voice. She had had her back to the door, but now she turned to face the new arrival.
"I'm not in denial..." Catherine Danson explained, and walked up to Kate, who mutely offered the baby out to her mother. With love in her eyes at last, she claimed her child, lightly planting a kiss on her cheek before murmuring softly, "There's been too much loss already, hasn't there, Cassie Danson? Too much. I don't want to lose you too." She looked at Kate, appeal in her eyes. "Or you, Kate. I'm sorry."
She expected reproach or a hurt expression in Kate's eyes, but found only blessed acceptance and friendship there.
5 years later...
Catherine looked out at the lake that stretched in front of her. Waves stormed noisily on its normally calm surface, and fierce winds ripped through the trees above. Instead of being a peaceful blue, the lake was grey, reflecting the gathering clouds in the sky above. No one else was around, and for good reason - the weather suggested a good possibility of thunderstorms in the offing.
She wasn't entirely sure what had drawn her here, today of all days. She'd been sewing up a dress for Cassie's birthday - a week from now - when she had suddenly felt an urge to visit the lake. She hadn't been here since the fateful night five years ago - five years ago to the day, she realised with a start.
"Cathy?"
A shiver ran down her back, as the wind whistled through the trees. Only one person had ever called her Cathy, had ever said her name that way. But it wasn't possible, she told herself forcefully. He couldn't be here! He couldn'tcouldn'tcouldn'tcouldn'tco-
She started as she thought she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Focusing on the middle of the lake, she searched for it, trying to find confirmation that it wasn't just her imagination playing tricks on her.
But - there it was again!
"Charlie?" she asked, her voice a strangled whisper as she struggled to comprehend what she was seeing. She stepped out onto the pier, walking past the lines of moored boats, feeling the ice cold water of the lake tossed over her feet, then receding again. "You're...you can't be here."
"Cathy?"
Mesmerised - almost hypnotised, she continued walking. Waves crashed over the old wooden pier, but Catherine paid them no heed.
"Charlie? Is that you?" she asked desperately.
"Cathy..."
Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she reached the end of the pier. "Charlie? Where are you? Why did you leave?"
"I never meant to leave..."
"But you did!"
"Cathy... after I died... I learnt something. This - all this - was never meant to happen."
Catherine took a step back; the words hit her like a physical blow. "Wh-what?"
"We're four hundred years early, Cathy."
She shook her head and covered her ears, trying to block out the tormenting words. "You can't believe that!" But still, the voice continued. It was in her mind now, something she couldn't ignore, try as she might. "What about Cassie? Was she never meant to be?"
"Cathy..."
Suddenly, she felt someone holding her close. Instinctively, she knew it was Charlie, and the thought chilled her to the bone. All this... never meant to happen. "How can that be?" she asked, shouting above the noise of the gathering storm.
"One day, you'll understand," came the reply, a calm whisper in her mind. "One day, we'll be together."
"Now..." she pleaded.
She could hear the sorrow in the wind, in his voice, in the sound of the water. "It cannot be..."
"It has to!"
There was no answer. She looked around desperately, searching for him, but she could no longer see him. Her only company was the storm and the lake.
Her life was never meant to be. Her life had been... nothing more than a mistake. She felt horribly alone - more alone than she ever had before, even after Charlie had died. She'd been forsaken by everything - even fate itself had abandoned her.
She looked at the lake once more. It was about twenty feet here, she knew...
Catherine jumped.
END