Disclaimer: Not mine. Not Now. Not Ever.

A/N: I did this in regards to a class assignment. One of the only classes, incidentally, I make it to on a regular basis. I swear if I sleep through one more British History or Journalism, or skip one more Chemistry class to go to the mall, I'm going to be in wicked trouble when finals roll around. Damn the temptation that is my bed on a cold morning. Must get to class. Must get to class....

I didn't expect to live after my fight with Vicious. I said my goodbyes to Jet, Faye, and the Bebop. Really, I did what I started. I beat Vicious, avenged Julia's death, and Hell, I managed to blow up half of the Red Dragon Syndicate before I fell. So, when I woke up in this soundless dark limbo, I wasn't surprised. I just kind of wished I could have a cigarette before judgment hit. And I knew judgment was coming for me. I figured I wasn't going to be headed toward any kind of heaven. But maybe I could see Julia before they tossed me straight down to hell. Who knows, maybe I'd manage to reconcile with Vicious while I'm there? And maybe coffee and cigarettes will fall from the sky too? Anyway, the point is, this limbo had to be the end of my dream. This had to be the end of that nightmare, right? So why was there crying?

Sayonara

By ShiroKitsune

"I hate you." Those were the first words I heard followed by the sound of crying. It took me a few moments to realize that the voice was Faye and I'll admit that for a moment I thought maybe she was dead too. Had the shrew woman followed me into that mess and ended up getting herself killed?

"I wish you had died," she said next. Well, I guess that means I'm not dead yet. Figures, I get filled with bullets and well near blown up and I still can't die. Damn, Death has to be out there just laughing his bony ass off.

"Why are you doing this? You told me the past didn't matter. I got my memory back. I had nothing to go back to. The Bebop was all I had. Why do you have to be such a selfish bastard?" Trust the shrew to fight me when I have no words to fight back. Typical.

"Because, he is a selfish bastard." There was another voice. One that was much deeper and louder.

Jet.

"Ah, Jet. I was just-"Faye trailed off. I could almost see her wringing her hands in her lap and biting her lip.

I couldn't feel my eyelids. I couldn't feel my body.

"Faye," Jet said. "This has to stop. It isn't healthy."

"I do a lot of things that aren't healthy," she said. "That's what makes life fun."

"Don't try and turn this around Faye. You have a decision you have to make. You can't keep on like this." I could hear a chair being pushed back and then the sound of her heels snapping the linoleum as she probably went toe to toe with Jet.

"Faye," Jet warned in a tone I'd never heard him use on her before.

Damn. Why can't I open my eyes? I want to fucking see them. Why can't I move?

"I can't do it," she said with that tremble returning to her voice. "He's a selfish bastard, Jet. And I'm a selfish bitch."

That was it. No goodbye. Just her heels clicking out of the room and fading down the hallway. I could hear Jet clench and unclench his fists. His breathing slowed down and his voice returned.

"She's right you know. You are a selfish bastard. And she is a selfish bitch. But I guess I'm selfish too. I want back what we had. I knew better though. I knew not to come after you. You made your damn decision, no matter how selfish it was." Jet sighed. No one understood. I didn't go off to die. I was already dead.

"They say you can still hear us. It's probably killing you to not talk back. I'd think she would be here all the time. After all, this is the only time she could talk to you without being interrupted."

Whatever, Jet. Damn. I wonder if this is how his bonsai feel. Sitting there is vegetable helplessness.

"She's the one who went after you."

I know.

"I told her not too. But you know, she never listens."

I know she never listens. That's just who she is. There was a silence.

"You're killing her."

The hell? That was abrupt. And then Jet's voice launched off into some half coherent rant against me. It was strange, even emotional, and not particularly lucid.

"...she sends a damn bouquet every month. Every month roses appear on Julia's grave in your name. She's killing herself bringing in these damn bounties to pay your hospital bills. And it's killing her. You're killing her. And I'm a selfish bastard too." The rant dribbled off into nothing.

What? The shrew was doing what? I must have brain damage. Or maybe I really am dead. This can't be the same world I knew.

"So do you understand? Can you hear me Spike? We're all selfish. You have to decide. You have to decide what's important. You can't just lie there any longer like some kind of vampire, sucking the life out of Faye. If you want to die and find your Julia, then die. If you want to come back where you belong, then wake up." I could hear him moving toward the door.

"But you're killing Faye the way you are now." His voice was lowering. "I'm a selfish bastard too." Then there were no more voices. Just the slow steps of Jet receding down the hall.

Now somehow this whole fucked up mess is back in my lap. I never asked the shrew to follow me. I never asked her to save me.

I never expected her to send flowers to Julia's grave. I never thought she would care so much about me. I never thought I'd see the day the shrew woman cried. The day heartless Poker Alice, Faye Valentine cried over me.

But my angel, my golden haired Julia was waiting. The dream was over, right?

It's true though. I told Faye that the past didn't matter. We were all she had left. Could I really be the selfish bastard now?

Ah well, Sayonara.