She'll never understand why I did it. Why I left her standing out there. I feel like a jerk—I could even hear her yelling it loudly to me through the walls of the temple. And I don't blame her. Not a bit.

But there was a good reason for disregarding her presence. I was a busy man now—being the leader of the Machine Faction. After we had escaped from the Crimson Squad we went our separate ways—and me to Machina. Well, first I went to Home to discover it no longer existed.

And Djose seemed like the perfect place to go...I had heard about Al Bhed here working on machina...only to find Kalla here. Big surprise!

And, well—I thought Rikku had forgotten about me. We hadn't communicated and I swear I saw her with some blond guy that seriously looked like a girl.

So I went ahead, and...well...

Now I feel stupid for ever doing that.

Rikku

I felt like dying...the worst thing possible could have happened. I was ecstatic when I saw him, but when totally blew me off-that got to me. I wanted to rip his heart out and make it mine...I knew there had to be someone else, or he wouldn't have ignored me.

And to backstab me like that, and just ignore me...it was too much. Paine didn't rush immediately to my rescue, but even when Yunie did I couldn't tell her what had happened...no one would understand. Not even I understood. And even though we were just a wall apart, I felt isolated from him again. Being at Home and him being all the way across Spira. I could tell he was sad to see me. Sad! Can you believe it? I knew it was over. I knew he couldn't possibly love me anymore. Not after a show like that.

"Are you sure you're okay, Rikku?"

'No! No I'm not! I feel like I'm dead! Empty!' A voice screamed inside her head.

"Yea...I'm fine." Rikku said with a final sniff. Yuna gave her a reassuring hug. "Well, that man just said we have to head into the temple to get a letter—" "NO!" Rikku screamed rather loudly. A few people stopped to look, and her face turned a deep shade of red.

"Err-I mean...I'll stay out here. You two go in if you like."

Yuna looked at Paine, giving her a meaningful glance.

"Hey! I saw that! Sayhea...." Rikku moaned, crossing her arms.

Yuna sighed. "You don't want to come in?"
Rikku nodded vigorously. "Positive."

Yuna just shrugged, and her and Paine walked into the temple. She heard the door close shut with a dull echo. She sighed, sitting on the ground again.

"I can't cry again...I'm not a baby, I'm almost an adult. I need to toughen up. I knew all along he didn't love me anymore, so what's the big deal?" She muttered things like this to herself for a while, ending with a heavy sigh. "Because it's not what you want." She answered to herself dully.

"Gippal! Gippal, where ARE you Gippal?" Rikku sat straight up in a fast speed, ears pricked and eyes scanning the area. It had been a girl. With a thick Al Bhed accent. Calling Gippal's name in one of those sickly puppy-love voices. Oh Gods. She knew what was coming. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces. This was the new woman of his affections. And she didn't blame him.

She was gorgeous, with flowing blond hair and sparkling green eyes. She wore very stylish clothes. A long flowing white dress and other accessories. Rikku looked at her drab clothes in comparison. This woman seemed so elegant...full of grace and poise.

The door opened and shut as Gippal walked out. "Kalla?" He called back, searching the area. Rikku noticed that his eyes purposely missed her. Whatever.

"Gippal!" She cried back with a huge smile on her face. She ran to the man and threw her arms around his neck. "Am I glad to see you, Gipp!"

GIPP?! Rikku nearly burst. That was HER nickname for him! Not that witch's! She felt the tears pricking again...because Gippal seemed so happy with her. He laughed and smiled.

"I'm glad to see you too, Kalla." Rikku couldn't help but smile a wee bit. He didn't have a nickname for her—at least not in front of Rikku.

And, as if all these events were happening just to torture Rikku, she saw the woman give Gippal a long, romantic kiss. And he kissed her back.

Okay. That was it. Rikku wanted to rip the pretty little head off of that girl! Yevon, she was making her angry. More angry than she had ever been. She felt her fingers cutting into thee palm of her hand, and her foot tapping the ground nervously. Rikku couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand to see Gippal happy with a girl other than her-and the two had never even broken up!

She wanted to rip his head off too!

"OKAY! OKAY! Pnayg ed ib mujapentc!" Without really knowing what she was doing, Rikku raced to the couple with her arms stretched out wide. Automatically the girl stepped away from Gippal, a look of slight frustration on her face. Rikku was pleased to see Gippal blushing, looking down at the ground.

"And who, may I ask, are YOU?" The girl, Kalla, snarled in Rikku's direction. Rikku just stuck her tongue out at her.

"For your information, I was here to talk to this man about the digging in Bikanel. If you could kindly leave us alone..."

'Oh no! What am I doing? I don't want to be alone with him! Stop it self, STOP IT!'

With a hmph and a flounce of her dress, Kalla walked off. But not without a "I'll miss you, Gipp!"

Then there was silence. Gippal fiddled with his armor strap nervously, and Rikku had her arms crossed, glaring at him.

"Long time no see...GIPPAL." Rikku said, emphasizing his name with loathing. Gippal could hear it, and seemed to shrink a bit more.
"Err, Rikku, I don't think this is the right place to explode at me—" "I THINK I CAN EXPLODE AT YOU WHEREVER I FEEL LIKE IT, GIPPAL!" She shrieked, causing everyone to turn their way. "AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, I SHOULD JUST KILL YOU ALTOGETHER—"

Before she could go on raving, Gippal grabbed her arm with amazing strength. With an evil glare he dragged her around to the back of temple, far off into a hill of rocks.

"What are you DOING?!" He hissed. "This is my job! I can't have my workers thinking of me as some kind of arsehole—"

"Well you ARE!" Rikku cried, knowing tears were coming already. "You ARE!"

Gippal sighed, and Rikku could almost swear she thought he was crying too.

"Look, Rikku, it's not what it seems..."
"I saw you KISS her! And you enjoyed it! I thought at the Crimson Squad you had been fighting, but I didn't know you were falling in love too-"
"I WASN'T!" Gippal yelled back, anger in his eyes. "Rikku, I thought I would NEVER see you again! After three years, I guessed you had gone off with someone else, and after hearing you helped defeat Sin AND Vegnagun, I thought you would be swamped with lovers-"

Rikku nearly choked. "What? Yea right! They all bow to Yuna, not to me! And you know why? I told everyone I was taken. Taken by a guy I was completely smitten with, and even though we hadn't seen each other for so long, I knew one day we would meet again and we'd be together again!" She rubbed at her eyes. "But I can see I was wrong...I see that what I thought we had was nothing but a space filler for your oh-so-extravagant life, sipping champagne and dining with your GIRLFRIEND."

Gippal looked down. "I'm sorry." He muttered.

"SORRY?" Rikku laughed. "SORRY? That's what you say to me, after all you've put me through? NO letters, NO meetings, NO even trying to contact me! NOTHING! ZIP! And when I talked to you back there, you didn't even acknowledge me! Thanks a lot Gippal—thanks. Really."
"Rikku! Just STOP a second, will you? Give me a moment to explain myself." He sighed heavily, and this almost made Rikku a bit sorry for what she had said. A bit.

"You put me through pain too, you know! You didn't try to send me letters or anything either, and even though Kalla flirted with me CONSTANTLY at Crimson Squad, I brushed her off because I thought of YOU, and knew that I loved you! I mean—I saw you in Luca once, and another time with some blond guy, so I expected you had some kind of relationship! I felt crushed then too! I thought you had forgotten about me and left for some other guy! THAT'S what made me get with Kalla, and now I feel sorry for it, because really, she's not the greatest. Not like you." He grimaced.
"That's all pretty much how I can explain myself, and I know it's not good because I 'guessed' on a lot of things, but..." He shrugged. "You have another life now. Go enjoy it."

"How can I? Without you, I can't, and knowing you're out here having a great time with some other woman other than me! And that's what I had been worrying about the whole time, and—"
In the middle of her emotional speech, Rikku's eyes widened. "Did you say—you LOVED me?"

There was an awkward silence, in which Gippal looked away, blushing. "No...you must be hallucinating."

Rikku sighed. "You're as lame as ever Gippal." She felt the tears continue to fall, and couldn't help a small sob escape her throat. Gippal's eyes flashed her way for a moment, but then looked away.

"Please don't cry anymore...I wish none of what happened had happened...I wish it could all be like it used to be, just me and you...but thinks are different. Our lives are different, and—we're different. Don't make it harder for me then it already is..."

Rikku looked down. The sounds of his footsteps fading away seemed to take up all of her hearing.

Before she could stop herself, before she could let her only love escape from her again, she whispered

"E druikrd E mujat oui duu...yht E drehg E cdemm tu."

"Gippal's steps faultered. She saw him standing there for a few seconds, but without another word, he walked away, around the corner.

He had left Rikku again...but this time it was worse than before, knowing they could never, truly, be together again.

A/N: Holy moly...that's...-counts-five chapters in three days. Xx Sad, isn't it? That, and the story. Buut, it's NOT over yet! I don't know when it will be...

Pnayg ed ib mujapentc!—Break it up lovebirds!

E druikrd E mujat oui duu...yht E drehg E cdemm tu—I thought I loved you too...and I think I still do.