ONE WEEK LATER
As she sat in homeroom, Sophia reflected on her first completed week at Degrassi Community School. She had gone out with JT two more times, both to movies. Both movies sucked. She had been spending some time with Craig too, but it was so weird to her. She had to get to know someone she already knew. But she didn't. But she did. And somehow, she already had enemies. Manny, of course. But she was just jealous about dancing, JT, and Craig. But another enemy came unexpected. When the bell rang, signifying the let out of homeroom, Sophia had to go to her locker and then to English. Coming within five feet of her locker, she saw a rose taped to it. She light up. As she reached out for it, someone else quickly grabbed it and through it on the ground, stomping on it.
"Who would ever send you a rose?" Sean said, walking away.
Sophia looked heart broken. She glumly opened her locker and pulled out her English stuff. She had no idea how she had gotten on Sean's bad side. She didn't remember doing anything to him, directly. In fact, she didn't even remember doing anything to him indirectly. Looking around, she noticed there weren't many students in the hallway, which meant class would start soon. Sophia didn't care much though, she was still a little upset. She hadn't even given thought to who had given her the rose too. Stepping towards the doorway to the Ms. Kwan's English room, she stopped when someone said, "Hey."
"JT. Hi."
"Um..what's new?"
"Nothing."
He looked disappointed.
"Oh. Uh….it was from me."
"Huh?" She didn't comprehend.
"The rose. It was from me."
"Oh. Wow."
"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have…" JT looked at his feet.
"No! JT, it was really great. I loved it. Really. And it was pink. Which is my favorite color."
JT was still looking at his feet, which bugged Sophia because she couldn't see the expression on his face. She stepped closer and picked his head up with her free hand.
"JT? What's wrong?"
He looked like he was going to puke.
"I…uhm….it's just."
"What?"
"Will you be my girlfriend? I mean I don't know if you like me, it's just I really like you and we went out and I know you are older so you probably aren't interested and -"
JT's rambling was cut off with Sophia pressing her lips against his, briefly.
"I have to go to class." She whispered.
And then she smiled. And he smiled back.
"Okay." He whispered back, turning and going to his own class, which he was late for.
Sophia stepped into the English room.
"Ms. Carlson, so glad you could join us." Ms. Kwan said.
"Sorry Ms. Kwan. It won't happen again."
She took her seat in the front, next to Jimmy Brooks. They sat in alphabetical order. After homeroom, JT was already waiting by her locker. 'Oh no.' She thought. 'I hope he isn't like totally clingy now! Following me everywhere, stalking me, not letting me be friends with guys? Ah!' When she approached him, she had a wary look on her face, but JT didn't notice.
"Sorry for blocking your locker. I'm not stalking you or anything. I just wanted to tell you something."
"Oh, okay." 'Phew. Had me worried there.'
"You're beautiful."
Sophia broke out in a smile, JT did the same.
"See you later." he said, walking away.
"Wow, new girl is fitting in quite nicely with JT." Sophia looked to the side.
"Paige. Jealous?"
"As if."
"Are you TRYING to give me a hard time fitting in?"
"No, I just treat you the way I treat pretty much everyone else. Only, I don't seem to be warming up to you as much as Mr. Yorke does. Couldn't get a guy in your own grade?" She asked, purposely putting in a pinch of bitch with every word.
"Paige, Paige, Paige. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." She slammed her locker shut and got up in Paige's face.
"Hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am."
Walking away, she gave a girly finger wave to Spinner, making sure Paige was watching. 'I love making people squirm.' She thought as she headed to her history lesson.
After school, Craig was racing through the halls to catch up with Sophia. Shoving through the front doors, he saw her walking into the parking lot.
"Sophia!" He called out. She turned around and waited until he got to her.
"Yeah?"
"Well, I'm not one to beat around the bush, so I'm just going to say it. Are you going out with JT?"
She smirked.
"And if I am?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just, wondering is all."
"I know you better than that, Craig. What's it to you?"
"Nothing special. I'm just interested in my good friend Sophia's life is all!" He exclaimed, putting on arm around her shoulders.
"Right."
They stood there, awkwardly for a moment. Then he took his arm down.
"Do you want to come over?"
"Um. Sure. I don't have dance or anything tonight."
"Great!"
They got into Sophia's car and tossed their bags into the back seat. Driving away, they left a clueless JT, standing about a hundred feet away. 'I'm not worried. They are just friends. They have a history. Good friends. She is allowed to have friends. Nope. Not worried. She's mine. She wants me.' He told himself as he dropped his skateboard and started on his way home.
"Hello?" Sophia called out into the house.
When no one answered, she sighed.
"Figures." They both said in unison, causing Sophia to cock an eyebrow at Craig.
"It's not like I forgot how busy your mom's job is."
"Right. Let's go to my room."
As Sophia led him through the apartment, Craig eyed everything carefully. It was very homey. To others, it would seem as if an entire family lived here. Not just Sophia and her mom. They entered as large open room with a television, a computer, a tan leather couch, a computer desk with a computer, a book case, and two bean bag chairs. Sophia threw herself onto the green bean bag. Craig stood there.
"What?" Sophia asked, wondering what was wrong.
"This is your room?"
"Yeah." She said, wondering what the big deal was. Then she got it.
"Ohhh it's not my ROOM room, it's my room. Like a living room? But its mine. The room that I sleep in is right there." She pointed to a closed brown door.
"Okay. I get it." He sat down on the couch.
"So…things have been kind of weird since I got here, huh?"
"Yeah. Just a little. I'm getting used to it, but things between you and me are…well…"
"Tense?"
"Intense, is more like it. A lot of stuff has happened, and I kind of just threw it all at you, with out really, you know, talking about it." Craig couldn't bring himself to look at her while he said that.
Sophia stood and went to sit by him on the couch.
"So tell me about it."
"Just like that? I don't think it's that easy."
"It can be."
"You know Sophia, I've been able to deal with all this shit. It wasn't easy. But I did it. My dad dying was really hard. It tore me to pieces. I was so confused on how it had impacted me. But I healed. It isn't as if I forgot it, but I accepted it. You know?"
He looked at her, and she noticed how shiny his eyes were. They were welled with tears that wanted to burst down onto his cheeks.
"I know."
They were silent. Craig had managed to keep control and not let the tears escape his eyes. Then, the phone rang.
"Oh shit. There's no phone anywhere around here."
Sophia jumped up and spun around.
"Okay, I'll be right back, you can just like, explore the house and give yourself a tour!"
She ran out of the room and Craig stood, watching her run down the hall and disappear into another hallway.
"Oooookayy." He put his hands in his pockets and looked around, and then focused on Sophia's door.
'She won't mind.' He told himself has he went to it and opened it.
"Wow…"
The room was covered in posters of Blink-182, Incubus, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, The Used, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, almost every famous rock band. She had a marble dresser with a large mirror connected to it, a round chair, a night stand with a pink lamp, and a queen sized canopy bed. 'The room isn't very big, but when someone has their own living room, who needs a big bedroom?' Craig thought to himself. He walked around the room, to one side of the bed. The side with the night stand next to it. He picked up the book that was residing on the night stand. It had a ribbon in it as a bookmark. The word JOURNAL was inscribed on the front in frilly, cursive letters. Craig's eyes widened and he began to argue with himself. 'Open it. Just take a glance. She isn't coming. She's on the phone. And she hasn't been gone too long either. But it's not right. This is a private thing.' Craig held it in his hands, knowing where this could lead. He opened it to the page where the bookmark was. There was a paragraph of writing, and that's it. He read the date.
"October second, two thousand four. That's yesterday." He said to himself.
And, because he was only a man and was curious, he read the paragraph.
'…….Life in Degrassi has certainly been interesting. But being friends with Craig again is hard. I was hurt when he didn't recognize me, and now he expects everything to be the same. How can he not understand that we are changed people? It isn't that I don't want to be friends with him, believe me, I do. But we can't just jump and be best friends again. That isn't how things work. Anyways, I have met a couple of people, but it isn't like I have a million friends. Somehow, I even have enemies. This girl, Manny, she hates me. She's just jealous I think. Hazel Aden and Marco Del Rossi are both in my grade, they are pretty cool people to know. I hope I get to know them better. Emma Nelson, she is younger than me, she is pretty nice. She seems like a take charge kinda gal. I bet she leads protests against animal fur and stuff like that that I don't really care about. And then there is JT. He is a year younger than me, too. He's cute. And funny. And sweet. And he makes me laugh. He reminds me that I am still young and am allowed to still have fun, even though I have to deal with stress, too. He seems like good boyfriend material. I've been thinking about asking him out. But why would he like me? Why would ANYONE like me? I'm ugly, it wouldn't hurt to lose ten or fifteen pounds, I'm not really that smart, I have trouble cracking jokes, and I can be a cold hearted bitch. God. Damn. It. I hate myself. I hate myself so much it makes me want to scream and cry and rage and life is so monumentally unfair but what the hell can I do about it?! I don't want to be me. I hate being me. I wish I could trade lives with someone. I would do it in a heartbeat.'
Craig slowly closed the book and set it down. He couldn't believe what he just read. 'How could she say those things about herself? She's is beautiful for starters. She is way smart, and it wouldn't hurt for her to GAIN ten or fifteen pounds. What is happening to her?' Craig was lost in thought. That is, until he heard his name being called. He put the book back where it was and went towards the door. Sophia popped in.
"Hey. So you found my room. It's quaint. Anyways, that was JT. He wants to meet me at the Dot."
"Oh, I guess I should get going home then." Craig felt awkward.
"No! You are so coming with. Let's go."
Craig smiled. He was glad she was making an effort to involve him in her life.
"Okay."
As she sat in homeroom, Sophia reflected on her first completed week at Degrassi Community School. She had gone out with JT two more times, both to movies. Both movies sucked. She had been spending some time with Craig too, but it was so weird to her. She had to get to know someone she already knew. But she didn't. But she did. And somehow, she already had enemies. Manny, of course. But she was just jealous about dancing, JT, and Craig. But another enemy came unexpected. When the bell rang, signifying the let out of homeroom, Sophia had to go to her locker and then to English. Coming within five feet of her locker, she saw a rose taped to it. She light up. As she reached out for it, someone else quickly grabbed it and through it on the ground, stomping on it.
"Who would ever send you a rose?" Sean said, walking away.
Sophia looked heart broken. She glumly opened her locker and pulled out her English stuff. She had no idea how she had gotten on Sean's bad side. She didn't remember doing anything to him, directly. In fact, she didn't even remember doing anything to him indirectly. Looking around, she noticed there weren't many students in the hallway, which meant class would start soon. Sophia didn't care much though, she was still a little upset. She hadn't even given thought to who had given her the rose too. Stepping towards the doorway to the Ms. Kwan's English room, she stopped when someone said, "Hey."
"JT. Hi."
"Um..what's new?"
"Nothing."
He looked disappointed.
"Oh. Uh….it was from me."
"Huh?" She didn't comprehend.
"The rose. It was from me."
"Oh. Wow."
"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have…" JT looked at his feet.
"No! JT, it was really great. I loved it. Really. And it was pink. Which is my favorite color."
JT was still looking at his feet, which bugged Sophia because she couldn't see the expression on his face. She stepped closer and picked his head up with her free hand.
"JT? What's wrong?"
He looked like he was going to puke.
"I…uhm….it's just."
"What?"
"Will you be my girlfriend? I mean I don't know if you like me, it's just I really like you and we went out and I know you are older so you probably aren't interested and -"
JT's rambling was cut off with Sophia pressing her lips against his, briefly.
"I have to go to class." She whispered.
And then she smiled. And he smiled back.
"Okay." He whispered back, turning and going to his own class, which he was late for.
Sophia stepped into the English room.
"Ms. Carlson, so glad you could join us." Ms. Kwan said.
"Sorry Ms. Kwan. It won't happen again."
She took her seat in the front, next to Jimmy Brooks. They sat in alphabetical order. After homeroom, JT was already waiting by her locker. 'Oh no.' She thought. 'I hope he isn't like totally clingy now! Following me everywhere, stalking me, not letting me be friends with guys? Ah!' When she approached him, she had a wary look on her face, but JT didn't notice.
"Sorry for blocking your locker. I'm not stalking you or anything. I just wanted to tell you something."
"Oh, okay." 'Phew. Had me worried there.'
"You're beautiful."
Sophia broke out in a smile, JT did the same.
"See you later." he said, walking away.
"Wow, new girl is fitting in quite nicely with JT." Sophia looked to the side.
"Paige. Jealous?"
"As if."
"Are you TRYING to give me a hard time fitting in?"
"No, I just treat you the way I treat pretty much everyone else. Only, I don't seem to be warming up to you as much as Mr. Yorke does. Couldn't get a guy in your own grade?" She asked, purposely putting in a pinch of bitch with every word.
"Paige, Paige, Paige. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." She slammed her locker shut and got up in Paige's face.
"Hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am."
Walking away, she gave a girly finger wave to Spinner, making sure Paige was watching. 'I love making people squirm.' She thought as she headed to her history lesson.
After school, Craig was racing through the halls to catch up with Sophia. Shoving through the front doors, he saw her walking into the parking lot.
"Sophia!" He called out. She turned around and waited until he got to her.
"Yeah?"
"Well, I'm not one to beat around the bush, so I'm just going to say it. Are you going out with JT?"
She smirked.
"And if I am?"
"Oh, nothing, I was just, wondering is all."
"I know you better than that, Craig. What's it to you?"
"Nothing special. I'm just interested in my good friend Sophia's life is all!" He exclaimed, putting on arm around her shoulders.
"Right."
They stood there, awkwardly for a moment. Then he took his arm down.
"Do you want to come over?"
"Um. Sure. I don't have dance or anything tonight."
"Great!"
They got into Sophia's car and tossed their bags into the back seat. Driving away, they left a clueless JT, standing about a hundred feet away. 'I'm not worried. They are just friends. They have a history. Good friends. She is allowed to have friends. Nope. Not worried. She's mine. She wants me.' He told himself as he dropped his skateboard and started on his way home.
"Hello?" Sophia called out into the house.
When no one answered, she sighed.
"Figures." They both said in unison, causing Sophia to cock an eyebrow at Craig.
"It's not like I forgot how busy your mom's job is."
"Right. Let's go to my room."
As Sophia led him through the apartment, Craig eyed everything carefully. It was very homey. To others, it would seem as if an entire family lived here. Not just Sophia and her mom. They entered as large open room with a television, a computer, a tan leather couch, a computer desk with a computer, a book case, and two bean bag chairs. Sophia threw herself onto the green bean bag. Craig stood there.
"What?" Sophia asked, wondering what was wrong.
"This is your room?"
"Yeah." She said, wondering what the big deal was. Then she got it.
"Ohhh it's not my ROOM room, it's my room. Like a living room? But its mine. The room that I sleep in is right there." She pointed to a closed brown door.
"Okay. I get it." He sat down on the couch.
"So…things have been kind of weird since I got here, huh?"
"Yeah. Just a little. I'm getting used to it, but things between you and me are…well…"
"Tense?"
"Intense, is more like it. A lot of stuff has happened, and I kind of just threw it all at you, with out really, you know, talking about it." Craig couldn't bring himself to look at her while he said that.
Sophia stood and went to sit by him on the couch.
"So tell me about it."
"Just like that? I don't think it's that easy."
"It can be."
"You know Sophia, I've been able to deal with all this shit. It wasn't easy. But I did it. My dad dying was really hard. It tore me to pieces. I was so confused on how it had impacted me. But I healed. It isn't as if I forgot it, but I accepted it. You know?"
He looked at her, and she noticed how shiny his eyes were. They were welled with tears that wanted to burst down onto his cheeks.
"I know."
They were silent. Craig had managed to keep control and not let the tears escape his eyes. Then, the phone rang.
"Oh shit. There's no phone anywhere around here."
Sophia jumped up and spun around.
"Okay, I'll be right back, you can just like, explore the house and give yourself a tour!"
She ran out of the room and Craig stood, watching her run down the hall and disappear into another hallway.
"Oooookayy." He put his hands in his pockets and looked around, and then focused on Sophia's door.
'She won't mind.' He told himself has he went to it and opened it.
"Wow…"
The room was covered in posters of Blink-182, Incubus, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, The Used, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, almost every famous rock band. She had a marble dresser with a large mirror connected to it, a round chair, a night stand with a pink lamp, and a queen sized canopy bed. 'The room isn't very big, but when someone has their own living room, who needs a big bedroom?' Craig thought to himself. He walked around the room, to one side of the bed. The side with the night stand next to it. He picked up the book that was residing on the night stand. It had a ribbon in it as a bookmark. The word JOURNAL was inscribed on the front in frilly, cursive letters. Craig's eyes widened and he began to argue with himself. 'Open it. Just take a glance. She isn't coming. She's on the phone. And she hasn't been gone too long either. But it's not right. This is a private thing.' Craig held it in his hands, knowing where this could lead. He opened it to the page where the bookmark was. There was a paragraph of writing, and that's it. He read the date.
"October second, two thousand four. That's yesterday." He said to himself.
And, because he was only a man and was curious, he read the paragraph.
'…….Life in Degrassi has certainly been interesting. But being friends with Craig again is hard. I was hurt when he didn't recognize me, and now he expects everything to be the same. How can he not understand that we are changed people? It isn't that I don't want to be friends with him, believe me, I do. But we can't just jump and be best friends again. That isn't how things work. Anyways, I have met a couple of people, but it isn't like I have a million friends. Somehow, I even have enemies. This girl, Manny, she hates me. She's just jealous I think. Hazel Aden and Marco Del Rossi are both in my grade, they are pretty cool people to know. I hope I get to know them better. Emma Nelson, she is younger than me, she is pretty nice. She seems like a take charge kinda gal. I bet she leads protests against animal fur and stuff like that that I don't really care about. And then there is JT. He is a year younger than me, too. He's cute. And funny. And sweet. And he makes me laugh. He reminds me that I am still young and am allowed to still have fun, even though I have to deal with stress, too. He seems like good boyfriend material. I've been thinking about asking him out. But why would he like me? Why would ANYONE like me? I'm ugly, it wouldn't hurt to lose ten or fifteen pounds, I'm not really that smart, I have trouble cracking jokes, and I can be a cold hearted bitch. God. Damn. It. I hate myself. I hate myself so much it makes me want to scream and cry and rage and life is so monumentally unfair but what the hell can I do about it?! I don't want to be me. I hate being me. I wish I could trade lives with someone. I would do it in a heartbeat.'
Craig slowly closed the book and set it down. He couldn't believe what he just read. 'How could she say those things about herself? She's is beautiful for starters. She is way smart, and it wouldn't hurt for her to GAIN ten or fifteen pounds. What is happening to her?' Craig was lost in thought. That is, until he heard his name being called. He put the book back where it was and went towards the door. Sophia popped in.
"Hey. So you found my room. It's quaint. Anyways, that was JT. He wants to meet me at the Dot."
"Oh, I guess I should get going home then." Craig felt awkward.
"No! You are so coming with. Let's go."
Craig smiled. He was glad she was making an effort to involve him in her life.
"Okay."