Author's note: Don't ask. I found this from years ago... I think I was in a really weird mood when I wrote it. Very bizarre.
Guts and the Care Bears vs. Dark Heart
Guts stared down at the short, huggable creatures, befuddled at his appearance amongst them. They were explaining to him their situation, but he was not paying much attention; the question of "How the hell did I get here?" still rang in his head.
"… Dark Heart will destroy all the feeling and caring in the world," finished the brown bear called Tender Heart.
"You've gotta be kidding…" Guts looked around, but the bears looked serious. If… one could take fuzzy, cute little bears as being serious.
"Please help us, Guts!" Tender Heart pleaded.
Guts turned away, walking along the clouds, and ignored the bears. How the hell did I get here? Where the hell is "here," anyway?
The bears called after him, but he ignored them. Then the doorbell rang and everyone rushed away, leaving him alone on the fluffy white mass. After a few minutes of scanning the area in uncertainty, he turned around to find someone – anyone – to ask questions of.
He found the bears, and a boy, playing games in the clouds. The boy was young, dressed in red and carrying a bag. His eyes were also red, and he seemed to be hunting the unsuspecting bears. Guts stood and watched, silent, wondering who the intruder was and whether he was friend or foe.
He saw his answer when the boy leapt at one of the bears with the bag – failing to catch it. The bear did not seem to notice the attack, but Guts stepped out quickly and lunged at the boy, who was starting to stand.
Shnuck.
The boy cast a startled glance up; the sword was sticking through him as blood slowly dampened his clothes.
The bears gasped. The boy stared, stunned. Guts was smiling gleefully.
"I… I…" The boy's eyes glazed over, and Guts pulled the sword out, dripping blood along the clouds.
"Well, then," he said to the Care Bears. "So much for Dark Heart. Heh, don't bother thanking me. I enjoy swinging my sword."
The bears stared, eyes glazed. Not a one of them moved.
Guts, his back turned to them, walked away on the clouds.