Another's Name But My Heart
By Lady of the Ink
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but you knew that . . .I hope. But I do own this plot and all the twists that it takes.
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Chapter Thirty-Three
Reflection
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Inuyasha stared down at the limp form lying in his arms with a cloying sense of grief. Kagome's eyes were closed, her face blanched of all color. A section of her hair covered the right side of her face and he moved to brush it away, shuddering at the eerie coolness of her skin against his fingertips. His hand continued its downward trail, over her bruised throat and unmoving chest. It came to a stop on her side, where sluggish spurts of blood still welled from the arrow wound.
His throat felt almost too tight to breath as his emotions warred within him. Loss and grief sought to smother him while his anger urged him to action and revenge. His hands tightened around Kagome's body as he finally raised his eyes to his surroundings. The first thing that he saw was the woman standing directly in front of him, the bow she held only just dropping to her side.
All it took was one look at Kikyo's cold and vaguely satisfied expression for Inuyasha to snap. A low, threatening growl rolled from his throat as the edges of his vision tinged red. His entire world narrowed to her, his desire to wipe the smirk off her face intensifying until his entire body ached with it.
He wasn't consciously aware of moving but when he came back to himself, he was the whole way across the clearing. Kikyo lay beneath him, her face purpling vividly as a result of his hands wrapped around her throat. Although a part of him knew that it was wrong, he couldn't seem to stop himself. The knowledge that she had stolen something very important and irreplaceable from him grated at the back of his consciousness, driving him to tighten his hands until a sharp crack rent the air . . .
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Inuyasha awoke with a start, his eyes swerving wildly around him as he was swamped with a heavy sense of disorientation. His gaze dropped to his hands, folded in a white knuckle grip around the now-broken arm of the chair in which he sat.
The images from his dream returned to him, causing his entire body to stiffen in response. The feel of Kikyo's neck between his hands felt so real that the sensation lingered on his palms even after waking. In reality, he had never laid a hand on Kikyo, his father and Miroku having accomplished that task while he was still dazed at the sudden chain of events. All of his attention was focused on Kagome, who had collapsed in his arms moments after Naraku's defeat.
The instant that he had seen the arrow protruding from her side would likely be seared into his mind until the day that he died. His heart had stopped beating in his chest at the sight of the red, red blood staining her dress and flowing down her side. For the longest of moments he could do nothing but stare, seeing it but unable to truly believe it. It had taken her groan of pain to rouse him from his stillness.
The next minutes passed in a blur. He barely remembered the trip back to the castle with Kagome's unconscious body in his arms. What he did remember was the fear that wormed it's way inside of him and refused to leave. Fear that he would make it back too late and she would die of her wounds. Fear that he would lose her forever, just when he realized how much he needed her. Fear that everything that mattered would be lost to him with no way to ever get it back.
Kaede's attempts to take Kagome from him had finally roused him from his dark thoughts. Inuyasha had refused to relinquish her, remaining by her side as the old woman removed the arrow before carefully cleaning, closing, and bandaging the wound. He had been the one to carry her to his own bedroom, tucking her beneath the covers and then taking his place at her side. Although the chair that was his resting place was far from comfortable, there wasn't a thing in the world that would have gotten him to move.
Peeling his hands from the cracked wood, Inuyasha focused his eyes on the figure lying in the bed. Kagome looked exactly the same as she had when he'd last checked on her: pale and still, lacking the vibrant life that had been such a big part of who she was. It hurt him to see her so, knowing that she should be playing with Shippo and laughing, or dancing around the hallways when she thought no one was watching. The silent, unmoving body before him was nothing less than a crime against her very nature.
A bit disheartened that she was no better, Inuyasha took a small amount of reassurance in the knowledge that she was, at the very least, no worse off than she'd been before he'd fallen asleep. He rose from the chair, carefully stretching his cramped muscles. The early morning light streaming through the windows showed him that the night had since given way to another morning, making it nearly a full day since Kagome had been injured.
Beginning to pace, Inuyasha raked a hand through his hair. He knew that he had a million responsibilities to see to, not the least of which the woman who had tried so hard to end his life. There were explanations to be made to his parents, village leaders to talk to, even a few people to thank for their assistance. He would have to get in touch with Kagome's family to let them know what had happened, and also deal with the mangy wolf he'd been forced to defend the day before.
But he didn't want to do any of that. Although he knew it wasn't rational, some part of his mind was convinced that if he left Kagome's side, she would slip away from him. It didn't matter that Kaede had assured him that she was strong enough to recover. It didn't matter that she was in no condition to walk out of his life as she had done before. The little voice in his head, which seemed to be connected to the ache in his chest and the tenseness in his stomach, plain and simply refused to let him leave her side.
And who was he to argue? That was where he wanted to be anyway. Even if she didn't know that he was there, he knew it. It was he who gave her water, wiped her brow, and listened carefully to every breath she drew in. Not Kaede, not the perverted priest, and certainly not the flea-bitten excuse for a demon she'd arrived with.
A frown crossed his features as he thought about the wolf. In the small room, he couldn't help but notice that Kagome reeked of his scent. They had obviously spent some time very close to one another. He found himself thinking of all the different meanings that could have and not liking a single one of them. He might have been slow to realize it, but Kagome was his. There was no way he was going to hand her over to someone who couldn't even keep her from harm. If that wolf so much as thought about taking her away, he'd be more than delighted to teach him otherwise. Kagome's place was by his side, and that was where he intended to keep her.
Unless she no longer wanted to be there.
Inuyasha's mood took another violent swing toward melancholy as he thought of that possibility. He had to admit that there was a good chance she would choose to leave once more. The part that she had played in the entire situation obviously weighed heavily on her mind. She had felt it so deeply that she'd been unable to face him with the truth once before, choosing to use a note instead. Nothing about that had changed, except to get worse when he had decided to marry Kikyo. Even if she could forgive herself, would she be able to forgive him?
On the other hand, she had returned. He didn't know the exact reason behind her decision to come back, but just her presence spoke volumes. She had come to a place where she was likely to have to face him and she had done it of her own free will. It could have been a sign that she hadn't really wanted to leave in the first place, or that she was as unhappy with the way that things had turned out that he was.
Whatever the reasoning, he decided he would look at it as a good sign until she told him otherwise. Of course, it would have been an even better sign had there not been another man involved in the situation . . .
The knock that came on the door just then was so unexpected that Inuyasha nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of it. It took him several seconds longer than usual to make his body move across the room and pull it open. When he did, the sight of his father standing on the threshold almost made him wish he hadn't.
His father wasted no time in getting to the point of the visit. "We need to talk, and we need to talk now." His expression was serious and stern, making it instantly clear that he knew more about the situation than Inuyasha would have wished.
Inuyasha's first reaction was to close the door as though he hadn't heard. Only years of experience with his father's temper and his own respect for the older demon kept him from doing so. He merely tightened his grip in the door handle as though afraid his father would attempt to pull him away bodily. "I think I should stay here in case she wakes up."
There was a moment of silence before his father sighed. "I know that you want to be here right now, but I also know there are some things we need to discuss. A lot of those are things you should hear before she wakes up. It won't take too long, and you won't be leaving her alone." He turned slightly, motioning to the shadowy figure that had been blocked from view until that moment.
Kaede stepped past the youkai lord and his son, moving toward the chair that Inuyasha had so recently vacated. He saw her look at the broken arm before she threw a questioning glance his way. He ignored her, looking instead at the small bundle of fluff resting on her shoulder. Shippo didn't spare a single look at him; the kitsune's entire focus was on the bed and its sleeping occupant.
It was Inuyasha's turn to sigh. He knew that his father was unlikely to take no for answer. He also knew that there were no better hands that he could leave Kagome in until his return. His best bet was to do as his father asked and get it over with so that he could return to her side as soon as possible. With a final glance back at Kagome, he left the room.