A/N: Hi everyone. Thanks for the nice reviews. I just wanted to say that
I'm outta summer school so the updates should be going more quickly. Things
might slow down because I'm also writing another story right now. If you
want to read it it's called In My Bathroom. It's a total Spuffy story
considering I don't think I could considering pairing Buffy and Spike with
anyone, but each other. I would also like to give huge thanks to my beta
Anyanka0705 for looking over this chapter and fixing my mistakes. Okay know
read and review. I love reading everyone's reviews. It gives me inspiration
to write!
Chapter 6:
Spike had been thinking about telling Buffy that Angel had cancelled the stupid barbecue and that they should just take Dawn and go do something. All week he agonized about what to do. He was stubborn that way. He couldn't just go over to Angel's with Buffy and say this is Buffy and her daughter Dawn and we are just friends. That wasn't him and his friends and family would see through it. He asked himself for the millionth time why did I ask her to go with me to this stupid thing?
It was Saturday and he had decided that he would just go with her and act natural. He put on his favorite leather duster because it was a very breeze day and looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing normal black dickies work pants and a white buttoned up shirt. He would rather be wearing all black, but even though it was breezy, the sun was out. The pants and the duster would be enough black. Also his father hated it when he wore black. He was pushing it with the duster.
Spike always wanted his dad's attention. He would never admit to that, but he subconsciously worked around it. Spike disliked his father, but he still respected him. He never wore, did, or said anything that would piss his father off. Even when he came home too drunk to walk and had smoked three packs of cigarettes he would never cross that line.
Except for that one time. Spike remembered that night all too well. He had just gotten home from a ten-hour workday and was very tired. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. When he got to his loft his father called him right away with urgent news. Spike jumped in his car and practically flew to his parent's house.
Spike didn't remember what he was thinking at the time. Maybe it was Anya, or Angel, or someone else who had gotten hurt. He rushed inside the house and looked for his father.
"Da where are ya?"
"In the study, William." He remembered his father's voice being calm and collective. With anyone else it would have relieved the worry, but it only intensified it for Spike. Nathaniel Flannery was known for not showing any emotions, especially when the worst happened. Spike apprehensively entered the study fearing the worst. He came and sat by his father and waited for him to talk. Nathaniel looked up from his drink and stared at his son. He found his voice and started to talk.
"I know this may be hard for you to understand, but you must know." Nathan always had the thickest British accent. Spike waited for the news to be delivered.
"You need to learn to take responsibility for yourself."
That was it. That was the fatal blow that his father was giving him.
"Da, I know that seems like it is a huge deal, but I was thinking that someone died or something. You don't have to sound so melodramatic."
"William this is serious. You must clean up your act."
"It's squeaky clean. I don't need to clean up anything. I've been at my job for almost two years now. I'm fine."
"No you're not. Your life was been one big party after another. Alexander told me that Angel and Wesley had to pick you up from a bar in the middle of the day."
Spike could kill Xander. That was none of his business. He had just broken up with Dru at the time and he was going through a lot. He still had his job.
"I'm fine now. I had a slip up. It won't happen again."
Crap why am I still seeking his approval, Spike thought.
"Your boss called me. As you know I'm good friends with him. I called him after Alexander told me about your drinking. He said that you yelled at him and he was considering firing you. I don't think that's squeaky clean."
"So now you are checking up on me?" Spike was getting angry. He was twenty- eight and could do what ever he wanted without his dad's approval. He could live on the street if he wanted. It was his choice.
"I'm just trying to do what's best for you. I think I could get Mr. Chamberlain to reconsider firing you if you promise me you will stop this path to self destruction."
"Don't do me any favors. I hate working for that old bastard any way."
"Sour grapes won't help anyone."
"Fuck sour grapes. I'm twenty-eight. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not little William any more."
"I know that but all this most stop. You don't realize that what you are doing isn't benefiting anyone."
"Well that just proves you right now doesn't it. You always said that I would never amount to anything."
"Will that is not true."
"Just admit it. You never thought I could do anything right. I was ruining your shitty image. 'Mister Cop'. When I didn't want to be a fucking pig you assumed that I would be poor and stupid the rest of my life!" Spike was screaming. He was trying to get out all his angry in one spout.
"You know what, 'Spike', you are absolutely correct. You want to know why I thought you would never amount to anything because you won't!" Spike's dad was yelling too.
"Well that wasn't so hard now was it? You think that I'm a piece of shit!''
"That is because you are a piece of shit!''
"Well it's nice to hear you finally say it. You could have said it earlier. I wouldn't have given a fuck about what you thought anyway."
"Oh, right, you were always crying out for my attention. I could see it all the time. I tried to give it to you, but you didn't deserve it!"
"Shit yeah that was how it always happened. Right! Angel was more of a dad than you ever could be!"
"So you're not going to pull the whole 'you paid more attention to Angel and Anya than you did me' speech? What kind of shitty lawyer are you?"
"One that wishes you would back the fuck off! I don't need you anymore. Shit I never needed you. You treated me like a stupid motherfucker and I put up with it. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking! You are the piece of shit you stupid ass wipe!" Spike could see that his dad was offended by the remark or at least didn't see it coming.
His father calmed himself and started to talk in a low voice, "At least I don't have to pretend to care about you anymore. You will never amount to anything and I don't want to look at something disgusting fail at something so easily. You'll fail at life William! Now I know that I don't have to care anymore."
Spike didn't know what to say. He wanted to say something equally as hurtful, but couldn't think of anything smart or witty.
"Fuck you! I don't give a shit if you care or not. You may be my father by blood, but you're a fucking asswhole by choice you piece of shit!" after saying this Spike ran off and out of the house.
Since then Spike avoided his father at all costs. He was fired from his job shortly after that and that was when everyone found out about his tiff with his dad. Angel and Anya felt that it should have happened sooner, but were thankful they weren't around to see it. They both saw how their father treated Spike and were disgusted when he did so.
Anya got him a job at Xander's firm and scolded him for telling her father secrets like that. Spike was sorry for Xander, but happy that someone put him in his place. He knew that the job at the firm was temporary and that everyone supported him with whatever he did, but he couldn't help it that his father's words rang his mind.
You'll fail at life William!
Spike got in his car started on his way to Buffy's maybe he would forget about all this if he just talked to her. He didn't know why he thought that he just did.
Buffy and Dawn were ready to go. They had been for about twenty minutes now. Spike was late and Buffy was beginning to worry that he wasn't going to show up.
He probably realized that it seemed a little irrational, although we are just friends. I mean at least that what he said we were, Buffy thought.
She didn't really think Spike's invite was real until he started to talk about it more seriously. She thought that Spike was just trying to be funny, but he started to get that tone in his voice that spoke otherwise. It didn't take Dawn much convincing. She really liked Spike because he treated her like a person and not as a kid even though she was one. Willow was another story. Buffy had had dinner with her and Oz yesterday night. She could still hear Willow's voice in her mind.
Buffy had gone over to Willow and Oz's for dinner. She thought that it might be a nice change of venue. Willow was such a good cook and Oz was a joy to have around even though he spoke in monosyllable. Buffy was having a great time until Willow asked her to come out with her and Oz Saturday.
"Well I kinda have plans already," Buffy said uneasily.
"Oh come on you and Dawn can do whatever silly thing it is your doing some other night."
"Well we are kinda going out somewhere and I promised Dawn that we would." Buffy wasn't lying too much. She had told Dawn that they were going to a barbecue with Spike and Dawn made Buffy promise not to her change mind.
"Okay then," was Oz's response. Oz was great at trusting that people were telling him the truth even if he knew they weren't. He figured Buffy would tell them what was up on her own time. Willow was not as easy to convince.
"Oh come on Buffy. You need to get out and not just with your daughter."
"My daughter is my life, Will. I can't just decide that 'me time' is more important."
"Dawn will understand that you have been put through some stress. She'll let you go out, so what's the prob?"
"Look I just want to do this with Dawn okay." Buffy was getting angry and that was a sure sign that she was lying.
"You are lying to me. What are you hiding?"
"Nothing. I just want to spend the day with Dawn. This invite is last notice and all."
"Willow, maybe we should just forget it." Oz was trying to lighten the situation. He didn't think Buffy needed to be treated like a child.
"No, Oz, my best friend is hiding something from me. I should be able to know everything that is going on in your life Buffy. I'm the one who is there for you."
"Don't try to guilt trip me, Will. It isn't even a blimp on the radar screen."
"Then why not just tell me?"
"Alright. I'm going over to Spike's family's house for a barbecue."
Willow was silent for a while. She didn't know what to say. Buffy had known the guy for a little while and already she was going to his parent's for a BBQ.
"Buffy I thought we discussed that you should hold off on going after the guy. You are still married."
"I know. I'm just going over there as a friend. He said he would need a friend to help him face his dad. It would be fun. I don't have very many friends, Will. Spike seems like such a nice guy and Dawn seems to like him."
"Still it is so totally wrong. I think that you should just leave it all up in the air before going to a family gathering with him. What if he turns out to be an asshole? Then what? You'll be in so deep that you'll have another Riley on your hands. It's not your fault, but you end up with the retards that don't see a good thing when they're looking at it."
"Hey!"
"Okay I'm going out on a limb here because I don't know much about this Spike guy, but is he the lawyer?" Oz asked.
"Yes." Both girls said in unisons.
"Just checking. Please continue with the ranting about how wrong it is. Soon you'll need the guru named Oz to help you with this one."
These words were said sarcastically, but they had an effect on both women. Oz was always a wise guy and they wanted to see what he thought of the situation.
"Okay we're biting guru now spill it." Buffy said.
Oz cleared his throat and started to speak.
"Buffy you obviously think that dating Spike is wrong, but you are attracted to him. Now, you think that by being his friend you'll forget all that stuff and just be pals. Willow you think that this is all wrong and that she will end up falling too deep for this guy. You think that she should limit contact to just lawyery stuff. Well seeing as both of you can't agree I think that I will voice my opinion. I think that Buffy's way to approach things is best," Buffy let out a triumphant 'ha' and Oz looked at her before he continued, "The reason I think this is because you get to find out stuff about him without having to do all the dating stuff. It's perfect."
Both women had to admit that it was a good idea. They called a truce and went back to eating their dinner.
Now Buffy was waiting for Spike and she wasn't sure that he was coming. She thought that he would, but she couldn't be sure. Just then a honk woke her out of her trance. She and Dawn ran outside to see Spike in his car waiting for them. Spike saw Buffy and Dawn come out and thought to himself, Wow she looks great! Buffy was wearing a green peasant top and a denim knee length skirt. Her hair was doing a wavy sort of thing. Dawn got in the back seat and Buffy climbed into the passenger seat. Spike wasn't sure what he should say so he uttered the first words that came to his mouth,
"Okay then lets get going."
"Okay then."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They got to Angel's house in a matter of minutes. Dawn mostly talked to Spike and Buffy, sometimes, joined in on their conversation. Buffy wasn't sure what to say so she thought it would be better to keep quiet. When they reached Angel's house Buffy looked at it with awe. It was a two-story house and had a beautiful garden in the front. It reminded her of a mansion because the outside paint was white and there were many steps to reach the front door of the house. The front yard was very spacious. The whole house looked very clean.
"Wow, it looks like such a cool house," Dawn said.
"It is very cool. The front yard isn't nearly as pretty as the back yard," Spike said.
He saw the look on both Buffy and Dawn's faces and wanted to laugh. To him this house was a little shack compared to his parent's house. Spike always had lived in big houses. Except for his loft, which was pretty big considering. It amazed him how people could be so awe struck over a big pretty house. He decided that he better not say anything because it would make Buffy feel poorer then she really was.
"Well like I said the house is better looking as you go further back. I think we should get a move on it because we're already late." Dawn and Buffy moved like they were on automatic as they slowly got out of the car. Again Spike wanted to laugh but thought that it was better he keep his mouth shut. They reached the front door and Spike was about to knock when Cordelia answered the door.
Angel was getting very ancy that Spike hadn't showed up yet. Cordelia could see that look on his face that told her that he was worried or annoyed. She guessed it was annoyed. She felt bad for her husband, but she understood Spike's point on things. He and his dad never got along and she had witnessed Nathan picking on the man a few times. Nathan could be very brutal when it came to his youngest son.
"You know I think that I'll go check to see if Will is here yet." The brunette got up from her seat and went to the front door. When she got to the door she saw that Spike was there, but so were two other people. A woman who looked about Spike's age and a young girl about five or six were standing next to Spike. The woman was a little short, but only a little skinny. She was very pretty and had blonde hair. The little girl had long brown hair and green eyes like her mom or at least Cordelia thought it was her mom.
"Hey, Spike, we thought that you decided not to come."
"Hi Cordy, we're not that late are we?"
"No, but your parents are here and Angel thought that you wouldn't come."
"I decided that it was time to try and forget all that."
"Well I'm glad. Why don't you and you're guests come in." Buffy looked at the woman. She was a brunette and sort of tall. She was slim and her hair was up in a bun. She was also very pretty in a classic way. She was wearing a bright summer dress. She sounded so sincere that Buffy wondered how Spike's parents could be as bad as he said. She noticed that the woman had mentioned Spike's parents being there in relation to him not showing up.
Spike ushered Buffy and Dawn inside the house. Spike was right; it was a very pretty house. They reached the sliding doors that led to the back of the house and Buffy and Dawn saw that the back yard was just as floral as the front if not more. There was also a pool. They reached the outside of thew house and smelled meat cooking on a barbecue. "Everybody this is Buffy and Dawn. Buffy and Dawn this is everyone," Spike said.
"Hi." was Buffy's response. She could see his brother and sister. She knew from the pictures in his office that the couple sitting at a table was Fred and Wes. Buffy sat down at a table and waited to get bombarded with questions. She didn't have to wait long.
"So, how do you know Spike?" Fred asked.
"Oh, well I met him because he is my lawyer."
"Oh so you are his new client." This was a comment made by Wes. He seemed to have had an epiphany about something, but didn't share.
"Well are you two dating?" Anya asked. She would love it if her brother was dating someone and she didn't care if she sounded blunt.
"Anya!" Spike said in an outraged voice.
"It's okay. No we're just friends. He asked me to come here with him for moral support. Personally I just think he's a big baby."
Everyone laughed at Buffy's joke. Buffy was relieved that they weren't going to tense up on her.
"So, speaking of the whole moral support thing. Where is dad?" Spike said, with a hint of nervousness.
"He's upstairs giving some gifts to Connor and Maddy," Angel said. He was running his finger over the edge of his cup.
"Oh so that's why it's so quiet."
"My kids aren't that loud, Will."
"Please, Dad, all kids are loud and especially your kids," Anya said.
"Well Dawn here doesn't seem to be loud," Angel said. Everyone looked at Dawn.
"That's because there isn't anything to be loud about. Once other kids are around her the volume raises." Buffy said. Dawn still sat there looking at everyone.
"Well she seems very quiet to me," Angel said.
"Start talking about cars." Buffy instructed Angel.
"Okay, Dawn what's your favorite car?"
"LS-50 Furrier. It's a vintage classic."
"So, what's the horsepower on that car?" Wes asked. He was startled that a little girl would know what a furrai was.
"200-horsepower. Doesn't go that fast, but the interior is pure leather. The outside is also very shiny and you don't even have to wax it. The lights could be a little lower though." A round of laughter burst out as Dawn went on and on about the car. (A/N: I know nothing about cars so this rubbish. :)
"Well I guess Ahn was right. So, Dawn, did you bring your bathing suit?" Angel asked.
"Yes I did."
"Well as soon as my kids come out you could go swimming, if you want."
"Great." As if on cue two kids came running out of the sliding doors; a boy and a girl. The girl was older than the boy was. She looked like she was about ten and the boy looked about Dawn's age. They were both wearing bathing suits.
"Connor! Maddy! I want you to meet someone. This is Dawn."
"Hi!"
"She is six and came her with Uncle Will." When the name 'Uncle Will' was said the two kids sprinted in Spike's direction.
"Uncle Spike!" both of them squealed. Spike picked them up in his arms and twirled around. Then he safely put them back on he ground. "Hey guys this is one of my friends." He pointed to Dawn.
"She is probably feeling a little nervous about meeting new people for the first time so why don't you make her feel more at home." The two kids walked over to Dawn.
"Wanna go swimming?" Connor asked her.
"Yeah."
"Okay let's go." They ran off and jumped into the pool.
"Well kids will be kids." Spike said.
"So when are we eating?"
"As soon as Giles comes back with the meat and I cook it."
"Well then do you have anything to drink?"
"The sodas are over there." Spike wanted to ask if he had any beer, but he knew that he did and that Angel would never let him have one.
"Okay then. Anybody want anything to drink?"
"I'll take a beer." Anya said.
"Yeah me too." Wes said.
"Buffy, would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, is there any diet coke?" She was asking Cordelia
"Yeah, it's the only thing I can drink. I hate beer."
"Alright then I'll be back with the drinks."
Spike went inside leaving the group alone. It didn't take long to hear them erupt in laughter over something. Spike could hear Buffy's little giggle. He loved it when she laughed. Her whole face lit up. Spike searched for the ice chest containing the beverages. He found the one with the beer first so he grabbed two for Anya and Wes.
He was looking for the other ice chest when he heard, "William it is so good to see you again." It was his mother's voice. Spike turned around slowly.
"William, are you drinking again?"
"No these are for Anya and Wes. I was just looking for." he didn't have a chance to finish before his father's voice interrupted him.
"So you are drinking again." His voice was smooth and calm and had a matter of fact tone to it.
"No these aren't for me. They are for Anya and Wes. I was just looking for the one with soda in it."
"It's over there by the refrigerator." His father said and then left.
"You must excuse your father's behavior William. He is still a little angry about your fight." With that his mother left. Spike grabbed the Diet Coke and a can of Sprite. He sauntered his way outside and sat down next to Buffy.
While Spike was inside the house, his parents had come outside. They were surprised to see Buffy there because they didn't know who she was.
"Hello dear. May I ask who you are?" Spike's mother said.
"Um I'm. Will's friend Buffy." She said. Buffy didn't think that his parents called him Spike so she said Will.
"Oh, how long have you to been seeing each other?"
"We aren't 'seeing' each other. We are just friends."
"Just as well. That boy will never amount to anything." Buffy was appalled that he would say something like that even though she knew that Spike's father was mean. It was weird to hear it confirmed though.
"Da, stop it. I already told you that if you were to come you should remain civil. Now let's not badger Buffy. She is actually a very nice person," Angel said.
"Very well, so, Buffy, is it?"
"Yes."
"Is that short for something?"
"No, it's just Buffy."
"Oh, so what do you do?"
"I'm a nurse."
"Oh that's nice." Spike had just come out and sat next to Buffy. He had a tense look on his face. He handed Anya, Wes, and Buffy their drinks. He avoided looking straight at his dad.
Conversation started and Spike stayed out of it. Buffy was talking and having a good time with his father. Why was it that everyone else could get along with his father, but Spike couldn't? He pondered that in his mind as he listened to the others talk. They were all so engaged in their conversation and they all seemed so happy. He felt like an outsider watching this display of perfect family togetherness. Even Buffy seemed like more a part of his family than he did. They were laughing at a joke that Angel told. Spike thought was a rather bad one. He wished that Giles would hurry up with the food. As if on cue Giles came out to the back door carrying a bag of meat.
"I have the rest of the hamburger meat," he said.
"The rest?" Spike said. He thought that Giles was coming with all of the meat.
"We ran out of meat and knew that we would need more," Anya said.
"Oh."
"Spike, I didn't know you would be showing up. It is so good to see you my boy."
Giles was totally honest when he said this. Nathan had always thought that Spike would never accomplish great things and it upset him. Giles knew that Spike was destined to be a great lawyer. There was just no denying that. Even before he realized his passion for law, Spike was always had a way with words. He could talk his way out of a wet paper bag. Not only was he persuasive, but he had a talent for arguing, which was mostly because he could be so stubborn there was no talking to him.
"Hey Giles!" Spike's voice turned from dull and dreary to upbeat and happy.
He always loved it when he saw Giles. Giles was like Wes. He never judged Spike now matter how stupid he was, but he did tell him when he was being an ass. He was like the dad he always wanted. He encouraged him to go to law school when his father criticized him. Spike went up to Giles and gave him a hug.
"It is really good to see you. It was been a long time since we last talked," Spike said.
"Yes I know. I've been so busy lately I've forgotten to see how my apprentice was," Giles said. He had always called Spike 'my apprentice'.
"You know what? I've been meaning to talk to you about something very important. Can we discuss it after dinner?"
"Sure."
Nathan looked upon this display with jealousy. Someone else was always the one to get through to his son. For Christ sakes it was his son. It was never him that got through to William. It was either Wesley or Giles. Someone who wasn't related to his son was able to talk to him without making Will feel small or explode. Sometimes it was even Angel and Anya who were able to get through to that thick skull that William had.
Will's mother was always able to get through to their son too. He remembered how he would run to Samantha when Nathan had made him upset. It provided ammo against him. Nathan would call him a little momma's boy and that would just make Will even madder.
Nathan never thought that his son would hate him. That was the only explanation for his entire behavior. He was rebelling against his father. Nathan never asked his son if that was the reason, but he figured that it was. He didn't need conformation. It was bad enough he did those things. His son was supposed to love him and be his son. They were supposed to do father/son things, but they never had a good relationship. It just never happened that way.
"Well, I think that we should get these hamburgers started," Angel said. He took the meat from Giles and headed over to the barbeque. As if by magic Wes, Spike, and Giles followed him with drinks in hand.
"Must be a guy thing," Anya said. Buffy laughed at the joke.
"Yeah well it's better that they're over there where you can see them than where you can't," Cordelia said.
"So, speaking of guys, Anya, where is Xander?" Anya's mom asked.
"Oh he's at work with millions of stacks of paper work. He fired his last paper-pusher so now he was to pay the piper."
"Well it's good to know that he won't get shot. I'll tell ya I'm always afraid that Angel well get shot when he's pulling one of his undercover raids."
"Cordelia you must be sensible. Angel will not get shot." Nathan said.
"No offense Mr. Flannery, but Cordelia is just expressing a worry that most wives think about. It would be scary if she didn't care," Buffy said. She remembered being married to Riley and how it made her sick to her stomach to think that he might get shot. Now of course she was the one who wanted to pull the trigger.
Nathan looked at the blonde with some surprise. She was confident enough to speak up against him.
"Well Ms. Summers I just think it is unreasonable to think that way. Angel has never been shot at or anything like that."
"Yes, but there is a first time for everything. Look I know it sounds a little hasty, but people just can't help thinking that way. Blame it on Murphy's Law."
"Well she has you there, Nathaniel. I think you should retire from the hencoop here. Go with the guys and be manly," Samantha said. Nathan looked at his wife before he got up and went over to the barbeque.
"Well now it is just us girls. So, Buffy, I know you said that nothing is going on between you and my son, but now that no one is here you can tell us the truth. What is really happening?"
"Nothing Mrs. Flannery."
"Call me Sam. Now you say nothing, but I can see it."
"Sam, I'm still married. Well legally anyway."
"What happens after that?" Cordelia asked. This conversation intrigued her. She thought that Spike needed someone in his life.
"We stay friends I guess."
"You don't want to be anything more?" Anya asked. Buffy felt like she was being interrogated.
"Well I don't think that he wants to be anything more than friends. He was the one who wanted us to be just friends."
"So then there is sparkage then?" Fred asked. She wanted in on this conversation.
"I have the weird feeling that you aren't going to let this go."
"Well, we all want what is best for Spike. He's my brother; my mom's son and he, Cordelia and Fred were friends before he set them up with Wes and Angel."
"He set you guys up with your husbands?"
"He sure did. I'm very happy that he did."
"I was mad at him at first, but I really loved Wes so I got over it."
"Well then he might just wanna set me up with a friend of his."
"He doesn't have any left. You two would be perfect. You know after you got a divorce."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Angel had been flipping the burgers with such concentration. He was tense about something and Spike could see it.
"I didn't know it took that much concentrating to flip a burger."
"Yeah if you throw that thing down with anymore time we'll be eating by next week for sure," Wes too had notice Angel's delay on cooking the meat.
"It's just that it seems that they are talking about something." He pointed in the direction of the girls.
"I wonder what about."
"Well women will be women," Giles said as he took a swing out of his beer.
"I'm very lucky that I got Jenny when I did. I don't think I could deal with the women of today."
"Cordelia acts like that. She was always a person who knew exactly what she wanted and went for it. Her motto was 'screw anyone who gets in my way'."
"Fred is independent and all, but she still treats me with respect. We get along just fine. She isn't really the 'I am woman hear me roar' type."
"Yeah I get along with Cordelia, but sometimes she wants to do things that I just can't understand. She's a little too independent some times."
Spike wasn't really listening to their conversation. He was staring at Buffy. She was having such a good time. That was all he wanted was for her to have a good time. Everything else didn't matter. Dawn seemed to be enjoying herself too. They were both enjoying themselves. It was nice to think that he had something to do with that.
"Hey, we asked you a question. What is up with you and that Buffy girl?" Wes asked. He was dying to know if his friend was finally moving on with things in his life.
"Nothing we are just friends."
"Right just like you and Dru were just friends." Angel said.
"That was different. Dru wasn't married and she was very, very persuasive. Buffy isn't a psychotic bitch that uses people like toilet paper. She can just be friends with someone without having to have sex with them."
"Look Spike, Angel, Wes, and I just want you to be happy. You seem to light up when you're around her. When she laughs you laugh. You're like a couple."
"We are a couple...a couple of friends. Nothing more." Spike took a drink of his soda and wished it was a beer.
"Well at least she doesn't seem like the type to put herself before anything else."
"That is because she doesn't know how. Her stupid dumb ass husband wouldn't let her do that. Besides she had Dawn to worry about."
"All I'm saying is that I wish that Cordy would just try and be a mom more than superwoman."
"She's living her dream and you are lucky to be part of it. A person needs to live before anything else. Cordy just needs to be herself even if that is a strong independent woman. She loves you and her kids. It's not like she would do anything to put them danger."
"Yeah I guess. It's just sometimes I wish she was around more. Her job at the magazine always seems so much more important."
"Well Angel, you should realize that isn't true. Fred spends hours at work, but she always comes home."
"Jenny may have a job, but I know she loves me." Spike looked at his brother. He could see in those brown eyes of his sadness beyond anyone's imagination.
"Wes why don't you take over cooking the hamburgers. Angel needs to take a little break." Spike said as he ushered Angel to the house.
"I'm fine."
"Angel its okay if you have something else to do."
"He does he was to talk to his little brother for a sec." That was all that was said before Spike rushed Angel to the house.
Nathan had been listening in on the conversation. William had said some pretty nice things about women and how they needed their space. He knew that that advice had come from within and it made a lot of sense. It also had a hidden meaning. He realized that his son was so wise beyond what Nathan gave him credit for.
He had learned that what he did was wrong, but he had also came to the realization that people need to do things in order to find themselves. It was a great lesson that Nathan himself had barely learned right then and there. He was surprised when both of his sons went into the house so abruptly. He had to know what was going on.
Spike closed the door to the den and looked at Angel. He hadn't seen it before, but Angel looked so tired. Tired beyond years and it made him look older.
"Mind telling what is going on?"
"Nothing. Nothing is going on. I'm just."
"Angel you don't look good. What the hell is going on?" Spike was worried. He didn't know why he just thought that there was something to worry about.
"I went to the doctors yesterday. I have been feeling very tired lately. Anyway he said that I might have some sort of kidney failure. I'm not sure I remember what it's called, but he drew some blood and told me the tests results will be coming in a week." Angel said all of this in a casual voice, but Spike could see right through it. He was scared. More than scared he was frightened. In all the years Spike was alive Angel had never been scared of anything and seeing him like this made Spike scared.
"Did the doctor tell you what might happen if you do have kidney failure?" he tried to stay clam, but his throat choked at the end.
"He said that I would need to take some sort of drug and stuff. It would also be a good idea to start looking for a donor match. He didn't say anything like I was going to die, but I don't think I will."
"So what are the symptoms of this disease?" Spike didn't know what else to ask. He had just found out that his brother might have a serious disease that would render him helpless and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it. Angel was the strong one. He was the one that everyone depended on and the one Anya and him had always turned to. He was their savior. He couldn't be dying.
"Well, he said that it would be typical to have no symptoms at all. Just a little more tired than usual."
"So when do the tests get back?"
"Tomorrow. I haven't told Cordy yet. The doctor said that this might have happened from me missing my insulin shots. I just always forgot to take them. You know that they are such a hassle."
Spike remembered how it had been when they were younger and Angel had to take his insulin. He had always made an excuse to forget it until one day we went into diabetic shock and nearly died.
"I won't tell Cordy, but you need to promise me that you will tell her when the results come back. No matter if they're good or bad. You also have to call me when you find out. You can't do this alone."
"Will," Angel's voice sounded so small. It reminded Spike of when Angel was in the hospital for not taking his insulin. It tore Spike up inside.
"Yes Angel?"
"I'm scared. I don't know if I have a terrible disease or not. I look at my family and I don't want to leave them. I can't..." Angel's voice broke and he started to weep uncontrollably. Spike ran over to him and comforted him.
"Sssh. You're not going to die. I won't let that happen. I can't let that happen. Do you know what dad would do to me if he found out I let his oldest son die?" Angel laughed at the weak attempt to lighten the situation.
"I would be more worried about Cordy killing you than about dad."
"I guess I have lots of people to worry about if you take the dirt nap." Both brothers laughed at that and continued laughing until Cordy came to the den and announced that dinner was ready.
Nathan had been listening to the conversation Angel might have kidney failure. His son might be faced with the possibility of dying young. He knew that both Angel and Will thought that he didn't know so he would wait to hear the news like everyone else. He just wished it would come soon.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike was on the road and taking Buffy and Dawn home when he realized the severity of the situation. His big brother, his hero, his personal bodyguard and friend was facing the harshest thing that anyone had to face. Spike had eaten his dinner fast and rushed Buffy and Dawn out in a hurry. He had forgotten to talk to Giles about the big thing. He was trying to forget the fact that Angel was sick.
The fact that he might die. Spike's throat constricted and he was worried that he might cry in front of Buffy. She was sitting in the seat and staring out the window. Dawn seemed to be resting her eyes. She had spent a day with his niece and nephew and he knew from personal experience that that was a draining event. Spike arrived to Buffy's apartment building and stopped the car.
"Alright then we are here." Spike said. Buffy was shaken out of her state of thought by Spike's voice. She had been thinking about the conversation that she had had with his family and friends. Maybe she did want more, but she wasn't sure if he wanted more. His face seemed unreadable right now.
"Why don't you come up for some coffee?" Spike thought about the question he really needed to talk to someone right now. It couldn't be Wes. Spike thought about how many times he had said that during these past few weeks.
"I think that that would be great."
They all got out of the car and headed up to Buffy and Dawn's apartment. Dawn was so tired that she fell asleep on the walk up there so Spike carried her the rest of the way. They finally reached the apartment and Spike put Dawn down in her room.
"I think that she was a little tired. I can't blame her. Connor and Maddy are very exhausting kids."
"So what do you like in your coffee?"
"I actually take it black. I don't really ever put anything in it because black wakes me up."
"Sounds very easy." Buffy put the coffee grinds in the coffee maker and started it. In a few minutes they had nice hot coffee. She poured Spike's into a mug and handed it to him. She did the same with hers and then sat in a chair next to Spike.
"So mind telling me about these mood swings you seem to have?"
"What?"
"You were happy before seeing your dad, and angry and sullen when you did see him. You were happy before going to the barbeque and withdrawn after talking to your brother. Are you pregnant?" Suddenly Spike started to cry for no reason.
"See it is really scary if you don't know what it is all about."
Spike managed to stop crying enough to say, "Angel might be dying. That was why I was so withdrawn at dinner. He expects me to be the tough one. I'm not the tough one he is. I can't do it. I can't." Spike resumed crying and Buffy walked over him and hugged him close to her.
Buffy didn't like seeing Spike like this. It scared her. He seemed like a helpless little boy.
"Spike, ssssh, everything is going to be fine."
"You don't know that. I know that kidney failure is common with people who have diabetes, but he is too young to worry about that."
"Sometimes these things just happen. He is going to be fine. Lots of people overcome kidney failure. He will get over this."
"What if he doesn't? I can't watch him die. He is the only person in this world I care about more than myself. He was always there for me. He is the strongest person I've ever met." Buffy patted Spike's head. She was trying to find comforting words that would help him. All she could do was rub his back and try to take away his pain.
"You have to think that he will be fine. You don't even know anything for sure. It could just be stress," she cupped his face in her hands.
"You can't think that he will die. You have to be strong no matter if you can or can't be." Their eyes locked. Buffy wiped the tears from his face. He had such a handsome face.
Spike loved the fact that her hands were on his face. He wanted to kiss her so badly. She was so beautiful and kind. Her she was trying to comfort him when he was totally over re-acting. Buffy's hand was stroking his face now. She wasn't sure if she even had control over her hand anymore. It seemed to have a mind of its own. She wanted to kiss him so badly. He was right there and he was so vulnerable. She wasn't sure what she had decided before his hand was on her face and pushing it towards him.
She lifted her chin and looked at him. His blue eyes seemed to be piercing into her soul. She parted her lips and lifted herself up to him. Spike knew that that was his cue to kiss her and he didn't waste anytime. He pressed his lips against her and just kissed her on the lips. Buffy needed more then that and she opened her lips and tried to push her tongue into Spike's mouth. He lost the battle and she started to explore his mouth deeper. In a little time he caught on to the way she was moving her tongue and started teasing her tongue with his. They kissed for about five minutes before breath became an issue. Even then they still tried not break the connection by keeping their lips close to each other's.
Both Spike and Buffy tried to get their breathing to become regular. Spike was the first one to talk.
"Buffy I hope that you don't think that I was trying to take advantage of you. I'm sorry for doing that. I know you're still married and I don't want to do anything to hurt your chances of winning your case."
"You weren't taking advantage of me. I think both of us are pretty vulnerable. I know you wouldn't do something to hurt my case. Why don't you sleep here tonight? I mean on the couch. You're in no condition to drive even if you are sober. I'll get some blankets and sheets." Buffy went off into the hallway before Spike could protest and came back with the sheets and a blanket.
"Now try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning and then you can go into full detail about your brother." Buffy had to resist the urge to kiss him again. She went off into her room with desire for the man that was inside her living room.
Spike was amazed how quickly she could forget things. He decided that he better listen to her and sleep there tonight. He couldn't leave and then have her mad at him. Besides she was right. Spike was exhausted and he didn't feel up to driving. He made himself a comfy place to sleep on and tried to sleep. He wanted to be next to Buffy, but knew he couldn't. He put the thought out of his mind long enough to be overcome by sleep.
Chapter 6:
Spike had been thinking about telling Buffy that Angel had cancelled the stupid barbecue and that they should just take Dawn and go do something. All week he agonized about what to do. He was stubborn that way. He couldn't just go over to Angel's with Buffy and say this is Buffy and her daughter Dawn and we are just friends. That wasn't him and his friends and family would see through it. He asked himself for the millionth time why did I ask her to go with me to this stupid thing?
It was Saturday and he had decided that he would just go with her and act natural. He put on his favorite leather duster because it was a very breeze day and looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing normal black dickies work pants and a white buttoned up shirt. He would rather be wearing all black, but even though it was breezy, the sun was out. The pants and the duster would be enough black. Also his father hated it when he wore black. He was pushing it with the duster.
Spike always wanted his dad's attention. He would never admit to that, but he subconsciously worked around it. Spike disliked his father, but he still respected him. He never wore, did, or said anything that would piss his father off. Even when he came home too drunk to walk and had smoked three packs of cigarettes he would never cross that line.
Except for that one time. Spike remembered that night all too well. He had just gotten home from a ten-hour workday and was very tired. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. When he got to his loft his father called him right away with urgent news. Spike jumped in his car and practically flew to his parent's house.
Spike didn't remember what he was thinking at the time. Maybe it was Anya, or Angel, or someone else who had gotten hurt. He rushed inside the house and looked for his father.
"Da where are ya?"
"In the study, William." He remembered his father's voice being calm and collective. With anyone else it would have relieved the worry, but it only intensified it for Spike. Nathaniel Flannery was known for not showing any emotions, especially when the worst happened. Spike apprehensively entered the study fearing the worst. He came and sat by his father and waited for him to talk. Nathaniel looked up from his drink and stared at his son. He found his voice and started to talk.
"I know this may be hard for you to understand, but you must know." Nathan always had the thickest British accent. Spike waited for the news to be delivered.
"You need to learn to take responsibility for yourself."
That was it. That was the fatal blow that his father was giving him.
"Da, I know that seems like it is a huge deal, but I was thinking that someone died or something. You don't have to sound so melodramatic."
"William this is serious. You must clean up your act."
"It's squeaky clean. I don't need to clean up anything. I've been at my job for almost two years now. I'm fine."
"No you're not. Your life was been one big party after another. Alexander told me that Angel and Wesley had to pick you up from a bar in the middle of the day."
Spike could kill Xander. That was none of his business. He had just broken up with Dru at the time and he was going through a lot. He still had his job.
"I'm fine now. I had a slip up. It won't happen again."
Crap why am I still seeking his approval, Spike thought.
"Your boss called me. As you know I'm good friends with him. I called him after Alexander told me about your drinking. He said that you yelled at him and he was considering firing you. I don't think that's squeaky clean."
"So now you are checking up on me?" Spike was getting angry. He was twenty- eight and could do what ever he wanted without his dad's approval. He could live on the street if he wanted. It was his choice.
"I'm just trying to do what's best for you. I think I could get Mr. Chamberlain to reconsider firing you if you promise me you will stop this path to self destruction."
"Don't do me any favors. I hate working for that old bastard any way."
"Sour grapes won't help anyone."
"Fuck sour grapes. I'm twenty-eight. I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not little William any more."
"I know that but all this most stop. You don't realize that what you are doing isn't benefiting anyone."
"Well that just proves you right now doesn't it. You always said that I would never amount to anything."
"Will that is not true."
"Just admit it. You never thought I could do anything right. I was ruining your shitty image. 'Mister Cop'. When I didn't want to be a fucking pig you assumed that I would be poor and stupid the rest of my life!" Spike was screaming. He was trying to get out all his angry in one spout.
"You know what, 'Spike', you are absolutely correct. You want to know why I thought you would never amount to anything because you won't!" Spike's dad was yelling too.
"Well that wasn't so hard now was it? You think that I'm a piece of shit!''
"That is because you are a piece of shit!''
"Well it's nice to hear you finally say it. You could have said it earlier. I wouldn't have given a fuck about what you thought anyway."
"Oh, right, you were always crying out for my attention. I could see it all the time. I tried to give it to you, but you didn't deserve it!"
"Shit yeah that was how it always happened. Right! Angel was more of a dad than you ever could be!"
"So you're not going to pull the whole 'you paid more attention to Angel and Anya than you did me' speech? What kind of shitty lawyer are you?"
"One that wishes you would back the fuck off! I don't need you anymore. Shit I never needed you. You treated me like a stupid motherfucker and I put up with it. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking! You are the piece of shit you stupid ass wipe!" Spike could see that his dad was offended by the remark or at least didn't see it coming.
His father calmed himself and started to talk in a low voice, "At least I don't have to pretend to care about you anymore. You will never amount to anything and I don't want to look at something disgusting fail at something so easily. You'll fail at life William! Now I know that I don't have to care anymore."
Spike didn't know what to say. He wanted to say something equally as hurtful, but couldn't think of anything smart or witty.
"Fuck you! I don't give a shit if you care or not. You may be my father by blood, but you're a fucking asswhole by choice you piece of shit!" after saying this Spike ran off and out of the house.
Since then Spike avoided his father at all costs. He was fired from his job shortly after that and that was when everyone found out about his tiff with his dad. Angel and Anya felt that it should have happened sooner, but were thankful they weren't around to see it. They both saw how their father treated Spike and were disgusted when he did so.
Anya got him a job at Xander's firm and scolded him for telling her father secrets like that. Spike was sorry for Xander, but happy that someone put him in his place. He knew that the job at the firm was temporary and that everyone supported him with whatever he did, but he couldn't help it that his father's words rang his mind.
You'll fail at life William!
Spike got in his car started on his way to Buffy's maybe he would forget about all this if he just talked to her. He didn't know why he thought that he just did.
Buffy and Dawn were ready to go. They had been for about twenty minutes now. Spike was late and Buffy was beginning to worry that he wasn't going to show up.
He probably realized that it seemed a little irrational, although we are just friends. I mean at least that what he said we were, Buffy thought.
She didn't really think Spike's invite was real until he started to talk about it more seriously. She thought that Spike was just trying to be funny, but he started to get that tone in his voice that spoke otherwise. It didn't take Dawn much convincing. She really liked Spike because he treated her like a person and not as a kid even though she was one. Willow was another story. Buffy had had dinner with her and Oz yesterday night. She could still hear Willow's voice in her mind.
Buffy had gone over to Willow and Oz's for dinner. She thought that it might be a nice change of venue. Willow was such a good cook and Oz was a joy to have around even though he spoke in monosyllable. Buffy was having a great time until Willow asked her to come out with her and Oz Saturday.
"Well I kinda have plans already," Buffy said uneasily.
"Oh come on you and Dawn can do whatever silly thing it is your doing some other night."
"Well we are kinda going out somewhere and I promised Dawn that we would." Buffy wasn't lying too much. She had told Dawn that they were going to a barbecue with Spike and Dawn made Buffy promise not to her change mind.
"Okay then," was Oz's response. Oz was great at trusting that people were telling him the truth even if he knew they weren't. He figured Buffy would tell them what was up on her own time. Willow was not as easy to convince.
"Oh come on Buffy. You need to get out and not just with your daughter."
"My daughter is my life, Will. I can't just decide that 'me time' is more important."
"Dawn will understand that you have been put through some stress. She'll let you go out, so what's the prob?"
"Look I just want to do this with Dawn okay." Buffy was getting angry and that was a sure sign that she was lying.
"You are lying to me. What are you hiding?"
"Nothing. I just want to spend the day with Dawn. This invite is last notice and all."
"Willow, maybe we should just forget it." Oz was trying to lighten the situation. He didn't think Buffy needed to be treated like a child.
"No, Oz, my best friend is hiding something from me. I should be able to know everything that is going on in your life Buffy. I'm the one who is there for you."
"Don't try to guilt trip me, Will. It isn't even a blimp on the radar screen."
"Then why not just tell me?"
"Alright. I'm going over to Spike's family's house for a barbecue."
Willow was silent for a while. She didn't know what to say. Buffy had known the guy for a little while and already she was going to his parent's for a BBQ.
"Buffy I thought we discussed that you should hold off on going after the guy. You are still married."
"I know. I'm just going over there as a friend. He said he would need a friend to help him face his dad. It would be fun. I don't have very many friends, Will. Spike seems like such a nice guy and Dawn seems to like him."
"Still it is so totally wrong. I think that you should just leave it all up in the air before going to a family gathering with him. What if he turns out to be an asshole? Then what? You'll be in so deep that you'll have another Riley on your hands. It's not your fault, but you end up with the retards that don't see a good thing when they're looking at it."
"Hey!"
"Okay I'm going out on a limb here because I don't know much about this Spike guy, but is he the lawyer?" Oz asked.
"Yes." Both girls said in unisons.
"Just checking. Please continue with the ranting about how wrong it is. Soon you'll need the guru named Oz to help you with this one."
These words were said sarcastically, but they had an effect on both women. Oz was always a wise guy and they wanted to see what he thought of the situation.
"Okay we're biting guru now spill it." Buffy said.
Oz cleared his throat and started to speak.
"Buffy you obviously think that dating Spike is wrong, but you are attracted to him. Now, you think that by being his friend you'll forget all that stuff and just be pals. Willow you think that this is all wrong and that she will end up falling too deep for this guy. You think that she should limit contact to just lawyery stuff. Well seeing as both of you can't agree I think that I will voice my opinion. I think that Buffy's way to approach things is best," Buffy let out a triumphant 'ha' and Oz looked at her before he continued, "The reason I think this is because you get to find out stuff about him without having to do all the dating stuff. It's perfect."
Both women had to admit that it was a good idea. They called a truce and went back to eating their dinner.
Now Buffy was waiting for Spike and she wasn't sure that he was coming. She thought that he would, but she couldn't be sure. Just then a honk woke her out of her trance. She and Dawn ran outside to see Spike in his car waiting for them. Spike saw Buffy and Dawn come out and thought to himself, Wow she looks great! Buffy was wearing a green peasant top and a denim knee length skirt. Her hair was doing a wavy sort of thing. Dawn got in the back seat and Buffy climbed into the passenger seat. Spike wasn't sure what he should say so he uttered the first words that came to his mouth,
"Okay then lets get going."
"Okay then."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
They got to Angel's house in a matter of minutes. Dawn mostly talked to Spike and Buffy, sometimes, joined in on their conversation. Buffy wasn't sure what to say so she thought it would be better to keep quiet. When they reached Angel's house Buffy looked at it with awe. It was a two-story house and had a beautiful garden in the front. It reminded her of a mansion because the outside paint was white and there were many steps to reach the front door of the house. The front yard was very spacious. The whole house looked very clean.
"Wow, it looks like such a cool house," Dawn said.
"It is very cool. The front yard isn't nearly as pretty as the back yard," Spike said.
He saw the look on both Buffy and Dawn's faces and wanted to laugh. To him this house was a little shack compared to his parent's house. Spike always had lived in big houses. Except for his loft, which was pretty big considering. It amazed him how people could be so awe struck over a big pretty house. He decided that he better not say anything because it would make Buffy feel poorer then she really was.
"Well like I said the house is better looking as you go further back. I think we should get a move on it because we're already late." Dawn and Buffy moved like they were on automatic as they slowly got out of the car. Again Spike wanted to laugh but thought that it was better he keep his mouth shut. They reached the front door and Spike was about to knock when Cordelia answered the door.
Angel was getting very ancy that Spike hadn't showed up yet. Cordelia could see that look on his face that told her that he was worried or annoyed. She guessed it was annoyed. She felt bad for her husband, but she understood Spike's point on things. He and his dad never got along and she had witnessed Nathan picking on the man a few times. Nathan could be very brutal when it came to his youngest son.
"You know I think that I'll go check to see if Will is here yet." The brunette got up from her seat and went to the front door. When she got to the door she saw that Spike was there, but so were two other people. A woman who looked about Spike's age and a young girl about five or six were standing next to Spike. The woman was a little short, but only a little skinny. She was very pretty and had blonde hair. The little girl had long brown hair and green eyes like her mom or at least Cordelia thought it was her mom.
"Hey, Spike, we thought that you decided not to come."
"Hi Cordy, we're not that late are we?"
"No, but your parents are here and Angel thought that you wouldn't come."
"I decided that it was time to try and forget all that."
"Well I'm glad. Why don't you and you're guests come in." Buffy looked at the woman. She was a brunette and sort of tall. She was slim and her hair was up in a bun. She was also very pretty in a classic way. She was wearing a bright summer dress. She sounded so sincere that Buffy wondered how Spike's parents could be as bad as he said. She noticed that the woman had mentioned Spike's parents being there in relation to him not showing up.
Spike ushered Buffy and Dawn inside the house. Spike was right; it was a very pretty house. They reached the sliding doors that led to the back of the house and Buffy and Dawn saw that the back yard was just as floral as the front if not more. There was also a pool. They reached the outside of thew house and smelled meat cooking on a barbecue. "Everybody this is Buffy and Dawn. Buffy and Dawn this is everyone," Spike said.
"Hi." was Buffy's response. She could see his brother and sister. She knew from the pictures in his office that the couple sitting at a table was Fred and Wes. Buffy sat down at a table and waited to get bombarded with questions. She didn't have to wait long.
"So, how do you know Spike?" Fred asked.
"Oh, well I met him because he is my lawyer."
"Oh so you are his new client." This was a comment made by Wes. He seemed to have had an epiphany about something, but didn't share.
"Well are you two dating?" Anya asked. She would love it if her brother was dating someone and she didn't care if she sounded blunt.
"Anya!" Spike said in an outraged voice.
"It's okay. No we're just friends. He asked me to come here with him for moral support. Personally I just think he's a big baby."
Everyone laughed at Buffy's joke. Buffy was relieved that they weren't going to tense up on her.
"So, speaking of the whole moral support thing. Where is dad?" Spike said, with a hint of nervousness.
"He's upstairs giving some gifts to Connor and Maddy," Angel said. He was running his finger over the edge of his cup.
"Oh so that's why it's so quiet."
"My kids aren't that loud, Will."
"Please, Dad, all kids are loud and especially your kids," Anya said.
"Well Dawn here doesn't seem to be loud," Angel said. Everyone looked at Dawn.
"That's because there isn't anything to be loud about. Once other kids are around her the volume raises." Buffy said. Dawn still sat there looking at everyone.
"Well she seems very quiet to me," Angel said.
"Start talking about cars." Buffy instructed Angel.
"Okay, Dawn what's your favorite car?"
"LS-50 Furrier. It's a vintage classic."
"So, what's the horsepower on that car?" Wes asked. He was startled that a little girl would know what a furrai was.
"200-horsepower. Doesn't go that fast, but the interior is pure leather. The outside is also very shiny and you don't even have to wax it. The lights could be a little lower though." A round of laughter burst out as Dawn went on and on about the car. (A/N: I know nothing about cars so this rubbish. :)
"Well I guess Ahn was right. So, Dawn, did you bring your bathing suit?" Angel asked.
"Yes I did."
"Well as soon as my kids come out you could go swimming, if you want."
"Great." As if on cue two kids came running out of the sliding doors; a boy and a girl. The girl was older than the boy was. She looked like she was about ten and the boy looked about Dawn's age. They were both wearing bathing suits.
"Connor! Maddy! I want you to meet someone. This is Dawn."
"Hi!"
"She is six and came her with Uncle Will." When the name 'Uncle Will' was said the two kids sprinted in Spike's direction.
"Uncle Spike!" both of them squealed. Spike picked them up in his arms and twirled around. Then he safely put them back on he ground. "Hey guys this is one of my friends." He pointed to Dawn.
"She is probably feeling a little nervous about meeting new people for the first time so why don't you make her feel more at home." The two kids walked over to Dawn.
"Wanna go swimming?" Connor asked her.
"Yeah."
"Okay let's go." They ran off and jumped into the pool.
"Well kids will be kids." Spike said.
"So when are we eating?"
"As soon as Giles comes back with the meat and I cook it."
"Well then do you have anything to drink?"
"The sodas are over there." Spike wanted to ask if he had any beer, but he knew that he did and that Angel would never let him have one.
"Okay then. Anybody want anything to drink?"
"I'll take a beer." Anya said.
"Yeah me too." Wes said.
"Buffy, would you like something to drink?"
"Sure, is there any diet coke?" She was asking Cordelia
"Yeah, it's the only thing I can drink. I hate beer."
"Alright then I'll be back with the drinks."
Spike went inside leaving the group alone. It didn't take long to hear them erupt in laughter over something. Spike could hear Buffy's little giggle. He loved it when she laughed. Her whole face lit up. Spike searched for the ice chest containing the beverages. He found the one with the beer first so he grabbed two for Anya and Wes.
He was looking for the other ice chest when he heard, "William it is so good to see you again." It was his mother's voice. Spike turned around slowly.
"William, are you drinking again?"
"No these are for Anya and Wes. I was just looking for." he didn't have a chance to finish before his father's voice interrupted him.
"So you are drinking again." His voice was smooth and calm and had a matter of fact tone to it.
"No these aren't for me. They are for Anya and Wes. I was just looking for the one with soda in it."
"It's over there by the refrigerator." His father said and then left.
"You must excuse your father's behavior William. He is still a little angry about your fight." With that his mother left. Spike grabbed the Diet Coke and a can of Sprite. He sauntered his way outside and sat down next to Buffy.
While Spike was inside the house, his parents had come outside. They were surprised to see Buffy there because they didn't know who she was.
"Hello dear. May I ask who you are?" Spike's mother said.
"Um I'm. Will's friend Buffy." She said. Buffy didn't think that his parents called him Spike so she said Will.
"Oh, how long have you to been seeing each other?"
"We aren't 'seeing' each other. We are just friends."
"Just as well. That boy will never amount to anything." Buffy was appalled that he would say something like that even though she knew that Spike's father was mean. It was weird to hear it confirmed though.
"Da, stop it. I already told you that if you were to come you should remain civil. Now let's not badger Buffy. She is actually a very nice person," Angel said.
"Very well, so, Buffy, is it?"
"Yes."
"Is that short for something?"
"No, it's just Buffy."
"Oh, so what do you do?"
"I'm a nurse."
"Oh that's nice." Spike had just come out and sat next to Buffy. He had a tense look on his face. He handed Anya, Wes, and Buffy their drinks. He avoided looking straight at his dad.
Conversation started and Spike stayed out of it. Buffy was talking and having a good time with his father. Why was it that everyone else could get along with his father, but Spike couldn't? He pondered that in his mind as he listened to the others talk. They were all so engaged in their conversation and they all seemed so happy. He felt like an outsider watching this display of perfect family togetherness. Even Buffy seemed like more a part of his family than he did. They were laughing at a joke that Angel told. Spike thought was a rather bad one. He wished that Giles would hurry up with the food. As if on cue Giles came out to the back door carrying a bag of meat.
"I have the rest of the hamburger meat," he said.
"The rest?" Spike said. He thought that Giles was coming with all of the meat.
"We ran out of meat and knew that we would need more," Anya said.
"Oh."
"Spike, I didn't know you would be showing up. It is so good to see you my boy."
Giles was totally honest when he said this. Nathan had always thought that Spike would never accomplish great things and it upset him. Giles knew that Spike was destined to be a great lawyer. There was just no denying that. Even before he realized his passion for law, Spike was always had a way with words. He could talk his way out of a wet paper bag. Not only was he persuasive, but he had a talent for arguing, which was mostly because he could be so stubborn there was no talking to him.
"Hey Giles!" Spike's voice turned from dull and dreary to upbeat and happy.
He always loved it when he saw Giles. Giles was like Wes. He never judged Spike now matter how stupid he was, but he did tell him when he was being an ass. He was like the dad he always wanted. He encouraged him to go to law school when his father criticized him. Spike went up to Giles and gave him a hug.
"It is really good to see you. It was been a long time since we last talked," Spike said.
"Yes I know. I've been so busy lately I've forgotten to see how my apprentice was," Giles said. He had always called Spike 'my apprentice'.
"You know what? I've been meaning to talk to you about something very important. Can we discuss it after dinner?"
"Sure."
Nathan looked upon this display with jealousy. Someone else was always the one to get through to his son. For Christ sakes it was his son. It was never him that got through to William. It was either Wesley or Giles. Someone who wasn't related to his son was able to talk to him without making Will feel small or explode. Sometimes it was even Angel and Anya who were able to get through to that thick skull that William had.
Will's mother was always able to get through to their son too. He remembered how he would run to Samantha when Nathan had made him upset. It provided ammo against him. Nathan would call him a little momma's boy and that would just make Will even madder.
Nathan never thought that his son would hate him. That was the only explanation for his entire behavior. He was rebelling against his father. Nathan never asked his son if that was the reason, but he figured that it was. He didn't need conformation. It was bad enough he did those things. His son was supposed to love him and be his son. They were supposed to do father/son things, but they never had a good relationship. It just never happened that way.
"Well, I think that we should get these hamburgers started," Angel said. He took the meat from Giles and headed over to the barbeque. As if by magic Wes, Spike, and Giles followed him with drinks in hand.
"Must be a guy thing," Anya said. Buffy laughed at the joke.
"Yeah well it's better that they're over there where you can see them than where you can't," Cordelia said.
"So, speaking of guys, Anya, where is Xander?" Anya's mom asked.
"Oh he's at work with millions of stacks of paper work. He fired his last paper-pusher so now he was to pay the piper."
"Well it's good to know that he won't get shot. I'll tell ya I'm always afraid that Angel well get shot when he's pulling one of his undercover raids."
"Cordelia you must be sensible. Angel will not get shot." Nathan said.
"No offense Mr. Flannery, but Cordelia is just expressing a worry that most wives think about. It would be scary if she didn't care," Buffy said. She remembered being married to Riley and how it made her sick to her stomach to think that he might get shot. Now of course she was the one who wanted to pull the trigger.
Nathan looked at the blonde with some surprise. She was confident enough to speak up against him.
"Well Ms. Summers I just think it is unreasonable to think that way. Angel has never been shot at or anything like that."
"Yes, but there is a first time for everything. Look I know it sounds a little hasty, but people just can't help thinking that way. Blame it on Murphy's Law."
"Well she has you there, Nathaniel. I think you should retire from the hencoop here. Go with the guys and be manly," Samantha said. Nathan looked at his wife before he got up and went over to the barbeque.
"Well now it is just us girls. So, Buffy, I know you said that nothing is going on between you and my son, but now that no one is here you can tell us the truth. What is really happening?"
"Nothing Mrs. Flannery."
"Call me Sam. Now you say nothing, but I can see it."
"Sam, I'm still married. Well legally anyway."
"What happens after that?" Cordelia asked. This conversation intrigued her. She thought that Spike needed someone in his life.
"We stay friends I guess."
"You don't want to be anything more?" Anya asked. Buffy felt like she was being interrogated.
"Well I don't think that he wants to be anything more than friends. He was the one who wanted us to be just friends."
"So then there is sparkage then?" Fred asked. She wanted in on this conversation.
"I have the weird feeling that you aren't going to let this go."
"Well, we all want what is best for Spike. He's my brother; my mom's son and he, Cordelia and Fred were friends before he set them up with Wes and Angel."
"He set you guys up with your husbands?"
"He sure did. I'm very happy that he did."
"I was mad at him at first, but I really loved Wes so I got over it."
"Well then he might just wanna set me up with a friend of his."
"He doesn't have any left. You two would be perfect. You know after you got a divorce."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Angel had been flipping the burgers with such concentration. He was tense about something and Spike could see it.
"I didn't know it took that much concentrating to flip a burger."
"Yeah if you throw that thing down with anymore time we'll be eating by next week for sure," Wes too had notice Angel's delay on cooking the meat.
"It's just that it seems that they are talking about something." He pointed in the direction of the girls.
"I wonder what about."
"Well women will be women," Giles said as he took a swing out of his beer.
"I'm very lucky that I got Jenny when I did. I don't think I could deal with the women of today."
"Cordelia acts like that. She was always a person who knew exactly what she wanted and went for it. Her motto was 'screw anyone who gets in my way'."
"Fred is independent and all, but she still treats me with respect. We get along just fine. She isn't really the 'I am woman hear me roar' type."
"Yeah I get along with Cordelia, but sometimes she wants to do things that I just can't understand. She's a little too independent some times."
Spike wasn't really listening to their conversation. He was staring at Buffy. She was having such a good time. That was all he wanted was for her to have a good time. Everything else didn't matter. Dawn seemed to be enjoying herself too. They were both enjoying themselves. It was nice to think that he had something to do with that.
"Hey, we asked you a question. What is up with you and that Buffy girl?" Wes asked. He was dying to know if his friend was finally moving on with things in his life.
"Nothing we are just friends."
"Right just like you and Dru were just friends." Angel said.
"That was different. Dru wasn't married and she was very, very persuasive. Buffy isn't a psychotic bitch that uses people like toilet paper. She can just be friends with someone without having to have sex with them."
"Look Spike, Angel, Wes, and I just want you to be happy. You seem to light up when you're around her. When she laughs you laugh. You're like a couple."
"We are a couple...a couple of friends. Nothing more." Spike took a drink of his soda and wished it was a beer.
"Well at least she doesn't seem like the type to put herself before anything else."
"That is because she doesn't know how. Her stupid dumb ass husband wouldn't let her do that. Besides she had Dawn to worry about."
"All I'm saying is that I wish that Cordy would just try and be a mom more than superwoman."
"She's living her dream and you are lucky to be part of it. A person needs to live before anything else. Cordy just needs to be herself even if that is a strong independent woman. She loves you and her kids. It's not like she would do anything to put them danger."
"Yeah I guess. It's just sometimes I wish she was around more. Her job at the magazine always seems so much more important."
"Well Angel, you should realize that isn't true. Fred spends hours at work, but she always comes home."
"Jenny may have a job, but I know she loves me." Spike looked at his brother. He could see in those brown eyes of his sadness beyond anyone's imagination.
"Wes why don't you take over cooking the hamburgers. Angel needs to take a little break." Spike said as he ushered Angel to the house.
"I'm fine."
"Angel its okay if you have something else to do."
"He does he was to talk to his little brother for a sec." That was all that was said before Spike rushed Angel to the house.
Nathan had been listening in on the conversation. William had said some pretty nice things about women and how they needed their space. He knew that that advice had come from within and it made a lot of sense. It also had a hidden meaning. He realized that his son was so wise beyond what Nathan gave him credit for.
He had learned that what he did was wrong, but he had also came to the realization that people need to do things in order to find themselves. It was a great lesson that Nathan himself had barely learned right then and there. He was surprised when both of his sons went into the house so abruptly. He had to know what was going on.
Spike closed the door to the den and looked at Angel. He hadn't seen it before, but Angel looked so tired. Tired beyond years and it made him look older.
"Mind telling what is going on?"
"Nothing. Nothing is going on. I'm just."
"Angel you don't look good. What the hell is going on?" Spike was worried. He didn't know why he just thought that there was something to worry about.
"I went to the doctors yesterday. I have been feeling very tired lately. Anyway he said that I might have some sort of kidney failure. I'm not sure I remember what it's called, but he drew some blood and told me the tests results will be coming in a week." Angel said all of this in a casual voice, but Spike could see right through it. He was scared. More than scared he was frightened. In all the years Spike was alive Angel had never been scared of anything and seeing him like this made Spike scared.
"Did the doctor tell you what might happen if you do have kidney failure?" he tried to stay clam, but his throat choked at the end.
"He said that I would need to take some sort of drug and stuff. It would also be a good idea to start looking for a donor match. He didn't say anything like I was going to die, but I don't think I will."
"So what are the symptoms of this disease?" Spike didn't know what else to ask. He had just found out that his brother might have a serious disease that would render him helpless and he just couldn't wrap his mind around it. Angel was the strong one. He was the one that everyone depended on and the one Anya and him had always turned to. He was their savior. He couldn't be dying.
"Well, he said that it would be typical to have no symptoms at all. Just a little more tired than usual."
"So when do the tests get back?"
"Tomorrow. I haven't told Cordy yet. The doctor said that this might have happened from me missing my insulin shots. I just always forgot to take them. You know that they are such a hassle."
Spike remembered how it had been when they were younger and Angel had to take his insulin. He had always made an excuse to forget it until one day we went into diabetic shock and nearly died.
"I won't tell Cordy, but you need to promise me that you will tell her when the results come back. No matter if they're good or bad. You also have to call me when you find out. You can't do this alone."
"Will," Angel's voice sounded so small. It reminded Spike of when Angel was in the hospital for not taking his insulin. It tore Spike up inside.
"Yes Angel?"
"I'm scared. I don't know if I have a terrible disease or not. I look at my family and I don't want to leave them. I can't..." Angel's voice broke and he started to weep uncontrollably. Spike ran over to him and comforted him.
"Sssh. You're not going to die. I won't let that happen. I can't let that happen. Do you know what dad would do to me if he found out I let his oldest son die?" Angel laughed at the weak attempt to lighten the situation.
"I would be more worried about Cordy killing you than about dad."
"I guess I have lots of people to worry about if you take the dirt nap." Both brothers laughed at that and continued laughing until Cordy came to the den and announced that dinner was ready.
Nathan had been listening to the conversation Angel might have kidney failure. His son might be faced with the possibility of dying young. He knew that both Angel and Will thought that he didn't know so he would wait to hear the news like everyone else. He just wished it would come soon.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spike was on the road and taking Buffy and Dawn home when he realized the severity of the situation. His big brother, his hero, his personal bodyguard and friend was facing the harshest thing that anyone had to face. Spike had eaten his dinner fast and rushed Buffy and Dawn out in a hurry. He had forgotten to talk to Giles about the big thing. He was trying to forget the fact that Angel was sick.
The fact that he might die. Spike's throat constricted and he was worried that he might cry in front of Buffy. She was sitting in the seat and staring out the window. Dawn seemed to be resting her eyes. She had spent a day with his niece and nephew and he knew from personal experience that that was a draining event. Spike arrived to Buffy's apartment building and stopped the car.
"Alright then we are here." Spike said. Buffy was shaken out of her state of thought by Spike's voice. She had been thinking about the conversation that she had had with his family and friends. Maybe she did want more, but she wasn't sure if he wanted more. His face seemed unreadable right now.
"Why don't you come up for some coffee?" Spike thought about the question he really needed to talk to someone right now. It couldn't be Wes. Spike thought about how many times he had said that during these past few weeks.
"I think that that would be great."
They all got out of the car and headed up to Buffy and Dawn's apartment. Dawn was so tired that she fell asleep on the walk up there so Spike carried her the rest of the way. They finally reached the apartment and Spike put Dawn down in her room.
"I think that she was a little tired. I can't blame her. Connor and Maddy are very exhausting kids."
"So what do you like in your coffee?"
"I actually take it black. I don't really ever put anything in it because black wakes me up."
"Sounds very easy." Buffy put the coffee grinds in the coffee maker and started it. In a few minutes they had nice hot coffee. She poured Spike's into a mug and handed it to him. She did the same with hers and then sat in a chair next to Spike.
"So mind telling me about these mood swings you seem to have?"
"What?"
"You were happy before seeing your dad, and angry and sullen when you did see him. You were happy before going to the barbeque and withdrawn after talking to your brother. Are you pregnant?" Suddenly Spike started to cry for no reason.
"See it is really scary if you don't know what it is all about."
Spike managed to stop crying enough to say, "Angel might be dying. That was why I was so withdrawn at dinner. He expects me to be the tough one. I'm not the tough one he is. I can't do it. I can't." Spike resumed crying and Buffy walked over him and hugged him close to her.
Buffy didn't like seeing Spike like this. It scared her. He seemed like a helpless little boy.
"Spike, ssssh, everything is going to be fine."
"You don't know that. I know that kidney failure is common with people who have diabetes, but he is too young to worry about that."
"Sometimes these things just happen. He is going to be fine. Lots of people overcome kidney failure. He will get over this."
"What if he doesn't? I can't watch him die. He is the only person in this world I care about more than myself. He was always there for me. He is the strongest person I've ever met." Buffy patted Spike's head. She was trying to find comforting words that would help him. All she could do was rub his back and try to take away his pain.
"You have to think that he will be fine. You don't even know anything for sure. It could just be stress," she cupped his face in her hands.
"You can't think that he will die. You have to be strong no matter if you can or can't be." Their eyes locked. Buffy wiped the tears from his face. He had such a handsome face.
Spike loved the fact that her hands were on his face. He wanted to kiss her so badly. She was so beautiful and kind. Her she was trying to comfort him when he was totally over re-acting. Buffy's hand was stroking his face now. She wasn't sure if she even had control over her hand anymore. It seemed to have a mind of its own. She wanted to kiss him so badly. He was right there and he was so vulnerable. She wasn't sure what she had decided before his hand was on her face and pushing it towards him.
She lifted her chin and looked at him. His blue eyes seemed to be piercing into her soul. She parted her lips and lifted herself up to him. Spike knew that that was his cue to kiss her and he didn't waste anytime. He pressed his lips against her and just kissed her on the lips. Buffy needed more then that and she opened her lips and tried to push her tongue into Spike's mouth. He lost the battle and she started to explore his mouth deeper. In a little time he caught on to the way she was moving her tongue and started teasing her tongue with his. They kissed for about five minutes before breath became an issue. Even then they still tried not break the connection by keeping their lips close to each other's.
Both Spike and Buffy tried to get their breathing to become regular. Spike was the first one to talk.
"Buffy I hope that you don't think that I was trying to take advantage of you. I'm sorry for doing that. I know you're still married and I don't want to do anything to hurt your chances of winning your case."
"You weren't taking advantage of me. I think both of us are pretty vulnerable. I know you wouldn't do something to hurt my case. Why don't you sleep here tonight? I mean on the couch. You're in no condition to drive even if you are sober. I'll get some blankets and sheets." Buffy went off into the hallway before Spike could protest and came back with the sheets and a blanket.
"Now try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning and then you can go into full detail about your brother." Buffy had to resist the urge to kiss him again. She went off into her room with desire for the man that was inside her living room.
Spike was amazed how quickly she could forget things. He decided that he better listen to her and sleep there tonight. He couldn't leave and then have her mad at him. Besides she was right. Spike was exhausted and he didn't feel up to driving. He made himself a comfy place to sleep on and tried to sleep. He wanted to be next to Buffy, but knew he couldn't. He put the thought out of his mind long enough to be overcome by sleep.