Here's another gift from Istari's bunny Plot, from us to you! Happy Halloween!
)(dream)(
They say the only thing to fear is fear itself, but I beg to differ.
I fear you.
You are the embodiment of all that I fear. I fear your love, you sweet kisses, your frozen touch. I fear looking into your eyes, for the fear that I would see nothing but ice in those storm-gray crystals. And I fear that on day there will be no more love, or kisses, or lingering touches that make me shiver. I don't think I could live without that anymore, without you.
You're like a Dementor.
Your ice-cold fingertips caressing, exploring, ghosting over every inch of my body. Every time I see you, I get weak and fearful with thoughts that, this time you'll leave, this time you'll desert me for sure. Every time I taste you, you taste so sweet, but when you leave, you take your sweetness and leave only bitter memories behind.
And every time you kiss me, you suck out a little of my soul when our lips part.
You feast on my fear, on the fact that I love you, and you never say anything in return, and you know that makes me unsure of myself and afraid of rejection and cold and alone and... You devour me whole, imperfections, bad memories and all. This is one of the things that makes me love you.
And the fact that I love you is enough to make me fear you.
You hold such power over me, did you know that? Of course you did. How could you not, with the way you smirk every time I shiver as your chilled finger runs up and down my spine. Every time I move, everything I do, you could stop or change with a word. I would follow your voice to the ends of the earth, if that is where you wished me to go. There isn't a path of darkness I wouldn't follow you down, not even to the deepest pit of Hell.
But sometimes I wonder about things. Are you just using me? Bending my will like rubber, slipping me around your little finger like a ring?
But if you are, when I look back on the memories I couldn't say, "That was when he used me.", but I would only be able to think, "That was when I was happy. That was when I was in love."
But you're not using me, are you? You wouldn't do something like that, it's just not in your nature, no matter what people think. And you know what? I think you love me, too.
You just never say it outright. You're rather shy about such things, I think. You're always quiet, like a Dementor. You scare me, but that doesn't mean I don't love you.
But you know that, too, don't you?
)(dream)(