Good Times

Disclaimer: I am not claiming to own Tales of Symphonia, or it's characters, except for this cute little Zelos figure that I got off of eBay!! It's very well crafted, just so you know.

Oh, yeah, and my computer is a freak, so I can't seem to upload asterisks or other things, so an action is displayed by #action#, just in case you were wondering (and I know you were...).

This is my very, very, very first fan fic evah!!!! So be as mean as you possibly can be, right? NO, WAIT, DON'T!!!

Zelos: #walks in#

Me: Oh, looky, a character from the game! This is indeed a surprise, as they never show up in any other introductions.

Zelos: #???# Yes we do.

Forcystus: I don't.

Me: O.o Shut up! #kicks GameCube#

Them: #gone#

Uh...note: This takes place before the end of the game...it's just an interlude between attacks on Lloyd's group. It's mainly about Mithos' posse.

Kratos Aurion sighed and looked up at the sky. Actually, it was the black inkiness of space, being that he was, in fact, up in space, on Welgaia, which is, consequently, in space. The sky was below him. But he couldn't see that. Oh, no. Because, you see, Kratos could not, no matter what people tell you, see through the floor(1) .

He sighed again. Being in Welgaia made things so complicated. That should've been a simple opening sentence, he thought. Damn this place. Thinking about these things generally vexed him. He glanced around the room. Angels were bumping into walls everywhere he looked. This amused him ever so slightly. Heh. Stupid soulless beings , he thought, scoffing. BUMP! (I don't know any other sound effect for bump, other than bump so...too bad.) One of said angels had smacked into him, and the mighty seraphim fell to the floor with a manly "Eeeeeeerrrrrrraaarrrggggghhhhh!!!" He got up quickly and composed himself, lest one of the angels mocked him. A quick scan of the room assured him that they were all still bouncing around the room, though.

"Well, this is pretty much the stupidest place I've ever been in my whole life," he said to no one in particular.

Suddenly, Yggdrasill appeared out of nowhere, holding a golf club. Kratos cocked his head and was about to inquire about the current situation, when he was abruptly distracted. Man, does he ever look like a girl, Kratos thought. As he continued staring at the leader of Cruxis, he found he just couldn't focus on anything else. This, however, happened a lot. In fact, it happened every time Kratos saw Yggdrasill. And it always resulted in trouble.

flashback

Yggdrasill: Hello Kratos. If you wish to be my companion, just say nothing.

Kratos: Man, he looks like a girl.

Yggdrasill: Good, then it is decided. You will travel with me always and follow all my stupid plans.

a second flashback

Anna: Kratos, if you truly love me and want to have a little suspender-wearing baby named Lloyd, say nothing.

Yggdrasill: #flies by#

Kratos: Man, he looks like a girl.

Anna: Okay, then it's settled. Our lives will be happy and uncomplicated.

another one

Yggdrasill: Hey, Kratos, isn't that your kid? Can you kill him for me(2)? I completely understand if you don't wanna do it, however. All you gotta do is say something.

Kratos: Man, he looks like a girl(3)

Yggdrasill: Okay, thanks pal.

last one

Enemies: Look at the little girly. Hey little girl, give us all your gald(4).

Yggdrasill: Huh?

Enemies: O.O Man, that girl sounds like a man. #dies#

Yuan: That's how he defeats his enemies.

Kratos: What? Where'd you come from?

just kidding, it wasn't the last one

Yggdrasill's Parents: Just look at our beautiful baby girl. Hair yellow as the summer sun. Let's name her Snow White.

Doctor: Um...it's a boy.

Yggdrasill's Parents: O.O boyygg...urgdra....blahsilllll.........? #drools#

Doctor: Okay, then, we'll name him Yggdrasill(5).

all done now

Yeah, Kratos remembered all those times Yggdrasill's girly appearance resulted in some misfortune--except for the last one which he was not there for, but, nevertheless, it is still mysteriously there amongst his flashbacks.

Kratos was still staring, when Yggdrasill looked up and noticed him. His eyes widened in fear. "Don't look at me! DON'T LOOK AT ME!!" he screamed at Kratos. A wild look came into his eyes, and clutching the golf club to his bosom (i.e. his chest, not his butt, which is what my brother seems to think a bosom is. Yggdrasill would look mighty silly clutching a golf club to his butt), and started mumbling. "Oh, Martel! Don't worry, don't worry dear sister #twitch# I have done it! I have found it! This gold club is the perfect vessel for your #twitch# resurrection!! It matches your mana perfectly!! #twitchtwitch# Heh...heheheheblahbleeblooblah."

Suddenly, the look on Yggdrasill's face changed from crazy to one of constipation. He shuddered and twitched a few more times and ran out of the room, leaving Kratos to his thoughts. After he was gone, Kratos turned those thoughts to muse on cheese, his one true love.

another flashback

Anna: Oh, Kratos. #lovesick sigh#

Kratos: Mmm...cheese.

end flashback

Kratos sighed for the third time in this story. Welgaia really did suck. It was the one place in the universe where he was denied even a decent slice of pepper jack.

SMACK! pfffttttt!

Another angel bumped into him, farted and floated on its way. Kratos shook his fist in the air. "Damn you, you soulless, flatulent minions of Cruxis!" he cried and then fell asleep.

Fin (it's French, and translates roughly to 'it's done now go review')

(1)Concerning Kratos' inability to not see through floors: This is an skill that was simply not in his massive arsenal of cool things he got to do. Although he can see through ceilings and fruitcake. Strange, huh?

(2)The big Y-man is prejudiced against red and suspenders. Lloyd was doomed from the start.

(3)Face it, he does.

(4)For those of us who don't know, the very creative creators, having decided gold was a much too overused currency in video games, made it gald instead.

(5)That's my story of how his parents named him.....although I suppose they actually named him Mithos...but whatever.

If you've gotten this far, I know you've read the story, you cannot trick me. So review. I may continue this, based on reviews, and I may not, based on a lack of reviews.