A/N: Hey, hey, hey… sorry for the long wait between updates. I had high hopes I'd be able to finish this story before the year mark, but that didn't happen. Stuff happened, but here's an update so I hope it makes up for not finishing on schedule and for not updating regularly. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did Riley would have died a slow painful death maybe at the hands of a very hot very soulful bleach blonde vampire

Spoilers: None

Chapter 22:

Spike walked through the automatic sliding doors of the Sunnydale ER. He'd give his right arm and maybe his left if he could just never walk through those doors again. They were too symbolic for his liking. Spike scanned the waiting room searching for signs of Andrew or Warren.

He spotted the blonde man and his boyfriend sitting in those ugly orange waiting room chairs huddled close to each other. Cordelia and Angel were sitting across from them looking just as worried and sitting just as close. Spike took a deep breath and tried to get his nerves under control.

After receiving Andrew's short panicky call Spike had immediately rushed over to the hospital praying that all the cops were busy actually doing real police work to bother with pulling him over. He had been lucky. He sped into the parking lot, parked in the first available spot, stopped to smoke his third cigarette in an hour and then made his way to the ER.

The cigarette's effect to calm his nerves seemed to have disappeared as he saw the terrified looks on the four people's faces. When Andrew called he had said the doctors hadn't given any information on Buffy's condition and Spike didn't think that changed much in the ten minutes it took him to drive over to the ER.

When Spike was sure he was calm enough to proceed in an orderly fashion he walked over to the group.

"Hey," he said weakly and the lameness of the statement made him cringe.

"Hey, you sure got here fast. Hope you didn't hit any pedestrians." Andrew said.

"No, maybe a dog but no people. Was lucky enough not to get a ticket. Do you know anything yet?" Spike asked.

"No, only that she's in surgery right now. Apparently they needed to check for…" Andrew said, but the lump in his throat was forming at an alarming rate and he wasn't sure he could continue.

"They said that they needed to check for internal bleeding. She was pretty banged up when the cops found her. House was kinda wrecked too. Apparently Riley threw some fit. Anyway when the police got there they found Buffy in her room, but Riley was nowhere in sight." Warren said.

"Wait that bastard's still out there?!" Spike said his voice filled with incredulity.

"Yeah he's still out there. The police are on it though." Warren said.

"Yeah well if they were any good the son of a bitch would have been caught in the first place." Spike said.

"Will, we've got everyone we can spare on it. Charles is the lead detective. You know he's more then qualified to catch this Riley guy." Angel said.

"Looks like the precinct is going to hell in a hand basket without you there, Peaches." Spike said.

"They'll catch him. I'm sure of it. I've got faith in my guys." Angel said.

"That's not good enough. The wanker should already be cooling his heels in a jail cell. Instead he's out there coming up with god only knows what kind of plans. Where the hell is Dawn?" Spike asked noticing for the first time that the little girl was nowhere in sight.

"She's at the house with Connor and Maddy. Anya and Xander are watching them… and before you get in a huff Angel got a car to watch the house. If Riley comes near my home he'll get a face full of my newly cut green grass." Cordy said.

"So what do we do now?" Spike asked.

"Well, I thought that was quite obvious. We go through the torture of waiting. I've been waiting for hours and it feels more like days." Andrew said.

"How'd you guys know what was going on?" Spike asked.

"We were going to come over and cheer her up a bit. Watch stupid movies and stuff like that. Didn't think it was right for her to be alone. Anyway we were supposed to come over and surprise her but… we got a little distracted." Andrew said.

Spike understood what he meant by distracted and could see the guilt written all over Andrew's face. It wasn't Andrew's fault and although Spike entertained the thought that maybe just maybe it was his because he didn't stay longer he knew that wasn't true. Sure a little part of him was saying he could have avoided it, but he wasn't sure that was true.

He knew the blame all belonged to Riley and if Andrew and Warren were there it might have been something much worse then it already was. Besides amongst all the crazy insanity that had been happening throughout the past week or so Andrew and Warren were still trying to work out their issues and Spike knew they needed some real alone time.

"It's not your fault Andrew. I'm not sure anyone could have stopped this. If you were there Riley would have probably just come another time or worse he would have left and came back better prepared." Spike said.

"Yeah I know, but… I just think everyone goes through the 'what if' process when tragedy strikes." Andrew said.

"Yeah, it's normal. Just don't let it get the better of you." Spike said.

"Yeah I know, I'm okay. I'll be okay. We've got to just be strong for Buffy." Andrew said.

"Yeah strong for Buffy." Spike repeated softly.

Spike wasn't sure, but sometime between the time he arrived at the hospital to whatever time it was now Spike had fallen asleep on one of the ugly orange waiting room chairs. When he woke he looked around to see the four people doing the same thing. Spike assumed no new information had been given on Buffy's condition. Spiked stood up and stretched a bit.

There was a crick in his neck from sleeping in a chair. Spike looked over at the clock above the information desk. It was just a little over three in the morning. Spike wasn't sure exactly what kind of surgery Buffy was having, but it couldn't have taken this long. Spike decided to ask the person at the desk.

"Hello, I've been here for at least three hours already and I was wondering if maybe there was any new information on my… friend." Spike said.

"Are you a family member?" the desk clerk asked. "No I'm not, but her brother over there is asleep and I didn't really want to wake him. I was just wondering if there was any new information." Spike said.

"Well, I guess I could help you out. Name of the patient please." The desk clerk said.

"Buffy Summers." Spike stated. The clerk typed a few words into the computer before looking back up at Spike.

"The doctors just finished in the OR. You should be getting word soon." The clerk said smiling sweetly at Spike.

"Okay, thanks for you help." Spike said going to sit back down in his chair.

Sure enough about ten minutes later a man in blue surgery scrubs and a cap to over his head walked over to where Spike and the others were sitting.

"Are you Andrew Schafer?" the doctor asked.

"No, that's Andrew. I'm… William Flannery." Spike said pointing to Andrew. "Oh, I hate to wake him…"

"It's not a problem doc." Spike said walking over to Andrew and shaking him lightly.

"Huh, wha'." Andrew said in a sleepy voice.

"Andy, this is the doctor that was fixing up Buffy. He's got some news." Spike said.

"Oh, okay. Hello doctor. I'm Andrew Schafer. What news can you tell us?" Andrew asked.

"I'd much rather talk to you in private. Keep things confidential." The doctor said.

"No, it's okay. Spi… Will is a friend of Buffy's he deserves to hear this. I mean we've all been waiting all night." Andrew said.

"Very well. Miss Summers's surgery went just fine. We did find some internal bleeding, but the problem was fixed in no time. However, Miss Summers was struck in the head a number of times with some sort of blunt object… perhaps a foot or something like that. We have done many tests including CAT Scans and MRI's and were able to detect that most of the damage was exterior. Bruises and such, but that doesn't mean everything is fine. There were severe problems after the initial test. Miss Summers went into somewhat of a shocked state and brain function was abnormal. Although this happened we figured the best course of action would be to proceed with the surgery. The abnormalities went done and things went very smoothly." The doctor said.

"But such abnormalities could lead to concussions and comas, right." Andrew asked.

"Yes, it has been known to happen that way. The coma usually lasts only a few days or so. The brain just needs a little down time to adjust fully to the trauma. Right now Miss Summers is under sedatives so she won't be waking up for about twelve hours." The doctor said.

"That's if she doesn't slip. She's on coma watch right?" Andrew asked.

"We've taken the precautions to monitor her vitals closely, but other then that we haven't found it necessary to take any more extra precautions then that." The doctor said.

"Okay for those of us who don't speak doctor… do you think you could put it in layman's terms? Is she going to be okay or not." Spike asked.

"They're not sure. So far everything looks okay. Everything on the outside is fixed, but the inside. Her brain got a little smushed and there was a scare, but it looked good too." Andrew said.

"So, she'll be okay." Spike asked.

"We'll need to monitor her closely for the next twenty-four hours. We're not out of the woods yet, but pretty close. Yes, everything looks promising and she will most likely recover from her attack." The doctor said.

"Thank you doctor." Andrew said as he shook the man's hand.

"I was just doing my job." The doctor said kindly as he walked away.

"When do we get to see her?" Spike asked.

"In a bit. They're going to send another doctor down here to talk about some other mumbo jumbo and then we'll get to see her. Just a few more hours." Andrew said.

The two men were quiet for a bit before Andrew said, "This all just doesn't feel real. I mean everything was so fine and perfect and now… this. I keep trying to tell myself it will be okay, but… it's like Willow said. There's just some many emotional scars it doesn't matter how good you heal the psychical ones."

"Well, we can start by putting that bastard in jail where he belongs. I know Angel and he's going to catch him. The squad doesn't take to kindly to wife beaters." Spike said.

"Yeah you're right… what time is it?" Andrew asked.

"Oh um… three in the morning… why?" Spike asked.

"Oh no reason in particular. Willow and Oz are supposed to stop by and you know check. They went on a vacation and they were supposed to come back tomorrow or the next day. I think they cut it short. I didn't want to call them, but apparently Willow's listed as Buffy's emergency contact." Andrew said.

"Oh, well, there was nothing you can do about that. Besides I think Wills would have killed you if you didn't tell her. This way you don't have to be the bearer of bad news." Spike said.

"Yeah, well… I told your brother to tell Anya and Xander to bring the kids by at noon. I don't know if it's a good idea though. Should Dawn see Buffy like this?" Andrew asked.

"I think she'll start getting suspicious soon enough. I mean it all depends on how long Buffy is in here. Dawn will know anyway." Spike said.

"So is that a yes or a no on letting Dawn come here. I don't want to scare her."

"She's already scared. The best thing we can do now is let her know her mother's okay. I'm sure she wants to see her no matter how badly banged up she is."

"Yeah I just… I don't want to have to explain to a little girl why something like this would happen. It's all such… crap it really, really is. I just hope she doesn't get too scared."

"Well we'll never know until we see. Look I don't think I could sleep after this. You want some coffee?" Spike asked.

"Um, yeah coffee sounds good. I don't… I'm not sure I could sleep either. I mean she's okay and she might wake up soon. I'm too wired now." Andrew said.

"Yeah you and me both, Andy. You and me both."

Noon came faster then Spike had expected and still Buffy was asleep. The doctors had came and went giving bits and pieces of information to Andrew in doctor talk and Andrew relayed them to Spike and the others in layman's terms. Angel was non-stop on the phone ever since he woke up. There was no new news on that front either. The guys on the squad had caught a few leads, but they all ended up as dead ends. Angel was becoming increasingly frustrated by it and had almost collapsed.

It took Cordelia's and Spike's snipping words about how he had just got out of the hospital for him to calm down. Angel, although sullenly, calmed down and relinquished the hold on his cell phone. Warren was having a tough time trying to comfort Andrew without appearing to overbearing. Andrew was snapping at nurses and doctors and demanding to see charts and such. Warren was trying his hardest to cool the blonde man off, but Andrew wouldn't sit still for a second.

Spike wasn't sure if he was relieved or saddened even more when he saw Anya and Xander leading his Maddy, Connor and Dawn through the hospital doors. Anya and Xander appeared to look tired, but whether that was from the news about Buffy attack or the fact that they had to baby-sit Connor over night was a mystery to Spike. Xander didn't really know Buffy well, but Anya seemed to have formed a connection with her.

Dawn looked very upset and disturbed by the news of her mother's attack. Maddy looked like her normally withdrawn self and Connor was bouncing around happily like a big ball of energy any six year old had. Dawn quietly sat in the seat next to Andrew and stare off into space. Spike wasn't really sure what to say to her and that was a first. Spike always knew exactly what to say to kids, but he was at a loss for words for even himself.

Anya and Xander sat down next to Cordy and Angel and they all began to talk quietly about things. Nothing in particular just anything to take their minds off of the sadness. Warren had joined the conversation and was encouraging Andrew to do so, but Andrew was on another mission to find out information and disregarded his boyfriend's attempts to get his mind off of things.

Andrew whipped out his cell phone and Spike assumed he was calling Willow and Oz to see if they got back from wherever it was they were at for their vacation. Dawn sat in her seat looking off into space and not really knowing what to do. Spike decided to take Andrew's seat beside her and Warren moved out of the way. Warren may have been Andrew's boyfriend, but he didn't know the little girl as well as Spike did and he was willing to bet they needed some room to talk.

"Hey, what's going on in that head of yours, little bit." Spike said opting to use the nickname he used on Maddy and Connor.

"Nothing, I'm not really sure what's going on." Dawn said and Spike understood what she meant.

Dawn was six and for a six year old things were pretty simple. Beyond the fact that Dawn had been reassured that Buffy would be home soon to make Dawn her favorite dinner or read bedtime stories or fix boo boos, Dawn didn't know what else to think. Spike knew Dawn was a very smart girl, but something so simple as death and hurt and pain weren't something little kids were able to grasp.

"Yeah, I know. It's a lot to take in." Spike said.

"She's not going to die, right. My mom isn't going to die." Dawn asked as she looked up at Spike with big eyes filled with unshed tears.

"No, she's not going to die. She's going to be just fine." Spike said.

"Then why are we here. This is a hospital. My mom used to take me to hospitals when I was sick. Is she sick? She also works in the hospital. Did someone get sick and she has to take care of them? Nobody will tell me what's going on." Dawn said.

"Dawn, your mom… well she got hurt. She got hurt real bad."

"Like when I feel of the monkey bars and I broke my arm?"

"Yeah sort of like that. She got hurt and she had to come to the hospital to get taken care of."

"Does she have to wear a cast like I did? Does she have bandages?" Dawn asked.

"Yeah she has those." Spike said.

"When can I see here?" Dawn asked.

"Well the doctors want to wait a bit. You know so they can do some tests to make sure she didn't get hurt too bad. She's asleep right now. She has to get some rest."

"Like when I'm sick?"

"Yeah like that. We can see her later. The doctors are going to tell us when." Spike said.

"Okay."

Dawn looked down at her hands. She seemed to have something else on her mind, but Spike didn't want to push. Instead he sat next to her and tried to listen to what the rest of the group was talking about, but it just came out as dull sounds. He heard Angel's phone ring a few times and heard the clipped tones his brother talked with to the rest of the squad.

It was really annoying that they couldn't catch the son of a bitch that was Buffy's ex-husband, but Spike was willing to be patient… for the time at least. Spike could see it was wearing on Angel's nerves as well. Angel hated guys that beat on their families having a family of his own and loving them to death he couldn't imagine that someone would want to hurt their own family. Spike was inclined to agree with him. He thought men that did such heinous things were cowards and less then men.

Spike saw, out of the corner of his eye, Andrew sit down next to Warren. Apparently he was okay with the seat change too. Andrew grasped Warren's hand with his own and whispered something into Warren's ear. Spike assumed it was news on Willow and Oz. minutes maybe hours passed before Spike felt a tug on his shirt.

"Spike… did… did my dad… was he the one that hurt my mommy?" Dawn asked and Spike wasn't sure what he should answer. It was Buffy's place to tell Dawn or not, but the look on Dawn's face said she needed to know.

"What would make you think that, Dawn?" Spike asked.

"I don't know. He was mad at mommy for winning the case thing when we were in court. Whenever he got mad he would beat up mommy. I just thought that maybe… because he was mad at her that he was the one that hurt her." Dawn finished.

"Dawn… I'm not really sure what happened. You'll have to talk to your mom about it." Spike said.

"But Connor said that his daddy was a policeman and that it was official cop business. Will my… whoever hurt my mom go to jail?"

"Yes, they have to go to jail because they did a bad thing. You aren't allowed to hurt people like this person hurt your mom. It's not right and it's against the law. You can get in a lot of trouble if you do it." Spike said.

"So do you know when I can see my mom?" Dawn asked.

"Soon I think. As soon as your mom wakes up." Spike said. Dawn nodded again and went silent.

Spike watched the activity around him. It was so depressing to watch people waiting in a hospital waiting room. They were either very sick and waiting for help or waiting for word that their relatives, friends or significant others were okay. Everyone had a look on their face and Spike imagined he had the same look on his.

It was some time after Spike's talk with Dawn that Willow and Oz showed up. Willow was weepy and couldn't get a sentence in edgewise. She just hugged everyone including Xander who just gave her a grin when she tried to apologize for hugging him since he was a stranger.

It got a small giggle out of her, but she went back to being weepy again for no apparent reason except that which she came up with in her head. Oz was more stoic although Spike could see the edges of his coolness fading. The man was trying to be strong for his wife and Spike could understand that. He gave Spike a nod of acknowledgement before asking Andrew details on what was going on.

Oz didn't know who the four people that crowded around Spike were, but he guessed that one of the women was Anya and the other was Cordelia. Willow and Andrew had mentioned who they were before and Oz knew that Dawn went over to Cordelia and Angel's house often.

"So, what do we know?" Oz asked to know one in particular.

"Well, on the medical scale, we know that she's pretty good. The chance of recovery is good. There are minor problems that appeared earlier, but the doctors think everything looks good. She's asleep right now." Andrew said.

"On the legal side of things, we've got all bases covered. We still haven't been able to track down… who did this, but… they're getting close. The leads are good." Angel said.

"You're a cop." Oz said and it wasn't really a question more of an observation.

"Oh, yeah, sorry I haven't met either of you yet. I'm Will's brother, Angel." Angel said putting out his hand for Oz to shake it.

"Will?" Oz said.

"Oh you probably know him as Spike."

"Oh, Daniel Osbourne." Oz said shaking Angel's hand.

"So what else is there to do? I mean you say you're looking for… whoever did it. What can we do?" Willow asked through her tears and sobs.

"Not much. We've all been sitting here waiting for something to happen." Spike said. Willow nodded. She wasn't so surprised to see Spike there. She thought he had to go to San Francisco, but she imagined that Andrew probably called him to tell him the news.

"And can I say that this waiting thing sucks. A lot." Andrew said.

"Yeah it sure does. I mean the doctors won't even tell us anything. And when they have new news they talk in doctor lingo." Cordelia said.

"Yeah doctors are known to do that. It's a good thing you have a doctor translator right here." Willow said pointing to Andrew.

"Well okay so we wait. How long does this waiting thing have to last?" Oz asked.

"The doctors came around at about three and said that she'd be under the sedatives for about eights hours. She should wake up some where around the twelve hour mark… unless she slipped into a coma." Spike said.

Willow looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time since she got to the hospital. His usually slicked backed bleach blonde hair was tussled and in it's natural unruly cur. His clothes were wrinkled and he smelled like cigarettes and coffee. His eyes had a red rim around them and he looked severely tired. Not that she looked around Andrew had the same look. Everyone else just looked tired and weary.

"You two get any sleep." Willow said pointing to Andrew and Spike.

"Yeah we got a few hours." Andrew lied.

"You got here and then were up at three to talk to the doctor. I really don't see much sleep happening there." Willow said.

"We're fine. Got a few hours. Four or five. Used to it though." Spike said.

"Yeah well you should really try to rest." Willow said.

"It's almost three. Buffy could be waking up soon. I want to be awake for that. We'll get rest after we know she's okay." Andrew said stubbornly.

He sat back down in his seat and began to resume his spacey stare. Warren nodded at Willow telling her that he would make sure Andrew got rest after Buffy woke up. Willow nodded back and made her way to a chair across from Andrew and Warren. The waiting had begun again.

Buffy woke up utterly confused with her surroundings. She couldn't seem to remember where she was exactly. The room was white and the bed she was sleeping on was small and had railings. Buffy could tell she was in a hospital bed. The thing was she couldn't remember exactly what landed her in a hospital bed.

She could feel the tubes running from her hand and her nose and could hear the annoying beep of the heart monitor that she wouldn't to stop but also didn't want to stop because that would mean she was dead. Buffy worked at this very hospital, if this was in fact the Sunnydale Hospital, and she could tell that it was by the colors in the room. She just wanted to know what she was doing in there.

"Well, hello dear. You gave us quite a fright." A nurse said. Buffy didn't recognize her from anywhere and assumed that the nice elderly woman must work on a different floor then Buffy did.

"What… why am I here?" Buffy asked as she tried to form a more coherent and eloquent thought.

"Oh, honey, you don't remember. Well you were brought in because you were severely beaten. The doctors have stitched you up just fine I'm sure. You have quite the entourage outside waiting for you." The kind woman said. Buffy now knew why she didn't recognize the woman. She was in the recovery room for the OR rather then in the ER. Bits and pieces of Buffy's memory were coming back to her, but nothing concrete.

"Have you seen my daughter? She's a little girl with long brown hair and blue eyes." Buffy asked in a raspy voice.

"Oh here dear. Drink this." The nurse said as she began to helping Buffy drink the water for the small plastic cup. The cool liquid felt good on Buffy's parched lips and Buffy wondered just how long she had been out.

"Well, yes I have seen the girl. Cute little thing was gripping tightly to that nice man with the funny hair color. Anyway she loosened up a bit and I suggested that maybe it would be better if she and the other two children went to play in the PEDS room. You know children shouldn't be so close to this." The nurse said.

Buffy nodded her head and felt a numbing pain at the simple act. She finished the water quickly and the nurse went fretting around to page the doctor. When the nurse came back she fussed with the pillows and asked Buffy how she was feeling.

"I'm okay… I think. My head hurts and I'm not really sure what's going on. My memory's a little hazy." Buffy replied.

"Oh that must be the medication they have you on. Powerful stuff really. You'll remember things in know time." The nurse said with a sad smile on her face.

"Was it my ex-husband? My mind keeps coming up with him. I remember Sp… a friend coming over and then leaving and I remember my ex-husband coming over. I think we fought, but I'm not sure. Then right about there I can't remember much." Buffy said.

"Well then I don't think you're cop friend will be talking to you much."

"Cop friend?"

"Yes a handsome fellow. Brown hair, tall dark and handsome. You know the type. He's been on the phone all of last night and all of today. Some of the police came by and he was yelling at them. It took all the strength of the young man that was with your daughter and a beautiful young lady who I assumed was his wife to calm him down." The nurse said.

"Oh, Angel, he really shouldn't be over exerting himself." Buffy said suddenly feeling a bit guilty, but also relieved that even though she had only met Angel on a few occasions that he was so willing to risk his health for her.

"Yes that's what the young woman was telling him. I'm guessing he's on some sort of medical leave although I can't see anything wrong with him." The nurse said.

"He's in the early stages of kidney failure. Diabetes and all that. He forgot to take his insulin shots and this is what happens. He just got out of the hospital a few days ago. I feel terrible that he's risking himself like this when he doesn't even know me that well."

"Oh nonsense now. He's just worried is all? You can't blame yourself if your friends just want to see you better. And boy do all of them want to see you better." The nurse said as the doctor walked into the room.

"Hello… Miss Summers." The doctor said checking the chart.

"Hello doctor. Can you tell me what exactly is going on? I don't remember much." Buffy said as she tried to see if she recognized the doctor. As an ER nurse she came in contact with a few surgeons, but he appeared to be new.

"Of course you don't. It's just the drugs. They've got you on some pretty heavy stuff." The doctor replied.

"But I'll get back what I've lost right?" Buffy asked. "Over time. Maybe a few days. A lot of the time patients purposefully block out things like this. Sometimes its just shock." The doctor said.

"Okay, so what's the damage?" Buffy asked.

"Well we had to operate. See if there was any internal bleeding. There wasn't too much and that wasn't a problem, but was had to do various CAT Scans and MRI's. We found nothing to wrong with your brain. It was just a concussion, but it did make you seize so we had to be sure. Everything appears quite normal and healthy besides the obvious bruises, cuts, and some ribs were bruised. Nothing was broken though so that's good." The doctor said in such a business like way that it made her cringe.

"Can I see my friends?" Buffy asked.

"Of course they've been asking about you." The doctor said.

"Can I go home soon?"

"Well we want to keep you here for some observations, but you'll be home in no time."

"That's good." Buffy said and she watched the doctor and the nurse walk out of her room. A few minutes later she was greeted with the sight of all her friends walking into her hospital room.

"Hey guys." She said trying to keep the mood light and cheery, but she could see the tears in most of their eyes.

"Where's Dawn?" she asked.

"Oh, she's in the PEDS room still with Maddy and Connor. We thought that maybe… we should… wait until we let her see you." Andrew said.

"Well I want to see her. I want to make sure she's okay." Buffy said in a worried parent tone. Andrew simple shook his head and went off to get her and the other two children.

"You guys, stop looking at me like that. I'm fine. Now that bastard ex-husband of mine… oh I hope he goes done. It was him right?" Buffy asked.

"Well, Buffy, legal I'm not allowed to tell you who it was. It could tamper with the investigation. If we really want to put away… whoever did this to you then you'll have to remember everything on your own." Angel said a bit sullenly.

"It's okay, Angel. I'll figure it out soon enough. The doctor said it's probably just the drugs making me like this." Buffy said.

"Well don't worry. We're looking for the son of a bitch." Angel said. "Good, that's good, but it still doesn't explain why you're all so glum. I'm okay everything's fine." Buffy said.

She looked around at the group of people in front of her. Warren appeared to be the most inclined to agree with her. Buffy could see the bags in his eyes and the hop in his eyes and realized that he was trying to be strong for Andrew. Willow was trying to put up a good front as well, but her misty eyes betrayed her. Oz was holding onto her in his regular stoic manner, but he too seemed on edge.

Angel seemed frustrated and Buffy guessed that he was a guy that didn't show emotion well. He was gripping a cell phone and daring it to ring and hoping it would ring all at the same time. Cordy was shining her million dollar smile at Buffy although it was less bright then usual. Anya seemed not to know how to deal with what was happening, but felt bad because Buffy was a friend no matter how new.

The man standing next to her Buffy recognized as her husband Xander and the man she first saw when she stepped into the office of Harris and Associates those weeks ago. He looked like he admired her for her bravery, but also a bit sad as if the whole thing brought back terrible memories. He was offering Buffy a warm smile and Buffy smiled back at him. Then there was…

"Spike?" Buffy asked not believing her eyes. She could have sworn he said something about leaving for San Francisco last night… or at least Buffy thought it was last night.

"Hello Buffy. How are you feeling?" He asked and Buffy saw him fidget nervously.

"Good I guess. What are you doing here? I thought you were moving to San Francisco or something like that." Buffy said knowing full well what he had said. The look on his face when she told him to go was forever etched into her memory.

"Yeah, well I got the news that you were right and decided to put off apartment hunting for a week or so." Spike answered.

"Why? You should go. You're still going to San Francisco aren't you?" Buffy asked.

"I was thinking about staying for a little while to make sure my friend was all right." Spike said his voice on the edge.

"Well I don't need you to be looking out for me. I'm fine I have other friends to do that." Buffy said.

"I just thought it'd be the good friend thing to make sure you were all right." Spike said his voice rising a bit.

"Yeah, well I'm fine so now you can go and have your cool new life." Buffy said her voice rising a bit as well.

Neither noticed as the group of people slid out of the room to allow them more privacy. None of them thought this was going to end well.

"Oh well I'm sorry if my concern is getting in the way of your near death situation. How rude of me." Spike said sarcastically.

"Spike you're the one who wanted to leave. So leave. I mean there's nothing here for you anyway." Buffy said and she cured herself with every new word she said.

She would have liked nothing more then to break down and cry and beg him to stay and always be concerned about her, but her mouth was faster then her brain and her heart was slower then both of them.

"Jeez, can you really be that way. I mean here I am saying I want to stay and be your friend when all I really want is… no you know what never mind. I know I'm not the bad guy here." Spike said plopping down in a chair.

"What do you want me to say Spike. I'm not sure I mean first you want me to be happy that you're leaving and now you want me to be grateful you're not. Make up your mind." Buffy said.

"I was just saying that because… look I care about you. A lot and I just want to be around you, but you keep pushing me away." Spike said.

"I'm not looking for romance or love or caring right now, sorry." Buffy said bitterly.

"Well neither was I! Jeez, I was… I don't know I got to know you and I found out that you're such a good person and I fell…"

"No don't say. Don't you dare say you love me! I don't want to hear it, okay!" Buffy said.

"Why are you so afraid of this… of me? I'm not going to hurt you like that piece of shit did. I just want to be with you." Spike said in a desperate voice.

"Because it would never work out. everything would be bad and wrong and we'd screw it up and I can't let that happen anymore." Buffy said.

"We can't help who we fall in love with." Spike said sadly.

"Did I ever give you any sign that I wanted anything more then friendship? Because if I did I'm sorry, but that's all I wanted. I never once said I wanted to fall in love with you or that I was even in love with you." Buffy said.

"Oh so what was that night. Come on Buffy you can't tell me you didn't feel anything." Spike said.

"I was lonely and you were there. It was stupid and it was a mistake and I never meant for it to happen again. You're the one that turned it into something bigger then that." Buffy said.

"Oh I'm sorry for thinking that you could possibly love me like I love you! What the fuck was I thinking?!" Spike yelled.

"Oh don't talk to me about love okay. I've had shit luck with it and now here you are saying you love me and some how I just don't buy it." Buffy said.

"Why? I've never given you reason to doubt me." Spike said.

"I know about that dinner with Drusilla. I know that you took her back to your place. Did you love me then, huh?" Buffy asked her voice shaking with emotion.

"What… I was drunk! She was taking me back to my place because I couldn't drive. It was just dinner and if I remember correctly you were the one acting like a right bitch anyway." Spike said.

"Oh so now it's my fault that you fucked your psycho ex." Buffy said sarcastically.

"I didn't fuck anyone. I was drunk and she didn't want me to drive and she took me to my house. Nothing happened! And even if it did you didn't have a claim on me. As I recall you were the one that kicked me out of the bed first sign of daylight." Spike said.

"You know what I don't really need this right. Just leave. Get out and stay away from me okay." Buffy said turning her head away from Spike.

Spike wanted to fight some more and has everything out. Buffy couldn't move and he could talk her into realizing she cared… into realizing he was a person she could love. He wanted to, but his energy was drained and he couldn't do it anymore. He had been playing this crazy game for too long and he had enough with games. With a defeated sigh he picked up his coat and made his way to leave. He opened the door and looked back at Buffy. Her face was still turned away from him.

"I love you; I just wanted you to know that, because I'm not coming back. I love you, but I don't need this shit. No, I'm done with the games. If you ever get done with them… you know where to find me." Spike said as he exited the room.

Buffy heard him go. She heard his words and still she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She couldn't bring herself to face him and realize that yes she did love him too, but she was a coward and couldn't… didn't think she could give herself to him completely. So she let him leave. Let him leave thinking she didn't love him and that she never would when in reality she loved him so much it hurt.

A/N: Okay see I had a debate with myself over this. I know, I know, it's not happy, but it's not the end so that's good. See I thought, hmm I could end it right here and make it all happy and lovey dovey, but then I said no that wouldn't be right. Nope not right at all so I had this. I think it works and it definitely fits with the plan. So I think there's about three more chapters left. Gee! I can't believe I'm almost done. Okay please REVIEW.