Disclaimer: Duane owns everything, that —bleep—!
Announcer: I am a notoriously slow writer, so don't flame if I take my sweet time updating.
Nita, Kit, Dairine, and Carmela are all watching the Rodriguez's TV (for whatever reason), and then an almost-certifiable author came in with her almost-psychopathic co-writer just to mess up their lives. Well, here goes.
VampireNextDoor: Hello, this is your master, heretofore known as VND. You could also call me Divine One.
Dairine: ANOTHER insane author here to make us miserable?
VND: BINGO! I have decided upon the most efficient way to destroy all of your happiness, which will be revealed to each of you momentarily. Before that, I would like to tell our readers that 'REVIEWING IS FAST And EASY WHEN YOU USE AOL, WITH SPECIAL KOL FEATURE FOR USERS UNDER EIGHTEEN. IT KEEPS YOU UP-TO-DATE ON ALL THE HIPPEST STYLES, TUNES, AND MOVIES!'
Kit, Nita and Dairine: ...Mm-hm.
VND: Okay, now that we're done with that, back to my plan! I shall divide you and banish each of you into a different TV show or movie! Once you are finished, you'll came back here where I have MORE horrors in store for you! Now, my co-writer, VND2, will conduct an interview to make sure you're all placed in the worst program available for you. Then your program will b revealed to all of you.
VND2: NITA! What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
—an hour of questions (unrelated to the situation) later—
VND2: Interviews completed. Oh, and one more thing.
VND: Yes?
VND2: Why does my part stink!?
VND: ...Sorry? Well? Do you have the program list?
Vnd2: Nag, nag, nag—why don't you do some of the work around here? Oh, yes, whatever! Dairine...you're going on Surivor.
Dairine: I think I misheard you. WHAT?
Vnd2: Survivor. Oh no, sorry, you have a choice. That or Fear Factor.
Dairine: A second-rate reality TV show...or a perfectly disgusting reality TV show? Wow. What a choice. Well, I'll go for the hit.
Vnd2: Fear Factor it is.
Dairine: Hey! I was talking about—
VND2: Okay then. Kit. You also have a choice. You can be in a show from any channel of your choice, or you can be in a movie of my choice.
Kit: Okay. I want a boring channel, with nothing violent or anything—
Nita: Like PAX!
Vnd2: I change my mind. You can be on the Sopranos, or you can go on the Weakest Link in a Care Bear costume.
Kit: Oh, man...do I have life insurance?
Vnd2: I take that as the Sopranos. And Nita, you don't have a choice.
Nita: Now WHY not?
Vnd: Because you're going on a show decided by the reviewers! That's right! The reviewers, in their merciless glory, may choose what wretched TV/Reality Show, movie, or book!
Nita: WHAT!?
OKAY! Now tell me what Nita should be in! No matter what, don't worry — it'll be insanely funny! Your choices are...
The Simpsons! (animated comedy)
Spice World! (tacky girly movie)
InuYasha! (anime)
All My Children! (soap)
Bernstien Bears! (children's show)
Star Trek! (cult-gathering sci-fi)
Pirates of the Caribbean! (popular movie)
Barney! (another children's show)
Oprah! (interview show)
Sorry, I needed to narrow it down, but I still want your input!
And we're back! I hope you had fun while we were gone, and I know that was a while. Apologies, apologies, but the show must go on! Everyone had a wonderful idea for what show Nita should go on, and if you didn't get picked, I don't know what to say. Everyone wanted different things, so it boils down to this...