Weirdjutsu
By: ShinobiWolf
Scroll I: Beware- The Shinobi Dance of Doom
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I had originally started an epic for Gundam Wing called "The Mission", but I got zero reviews, so I scrapped it. (Mostly because that series drastically dropped in popularity.) So I decided to start another epic in a much more popular category.
My inspiration came from reading "Beowulf" in British Literature class. We only read one third of the entire poem, and that part itself went on for fifteen pages. And it didn't even rhyme. There will be more chapters; this is an epic, after all…
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One day Naruto sprang out of bed
Today was a special day
He sprang so hard, he bonked his head
He ran to the bridge to wait for they
They, Sakura and Sasuke
And Kakashi, whom would probably be late
Because his head wasn't okay
From getting hit with a plate
Naruto arrived at the bridge
Kunai in hand
He saw just a smidge
Of a Konoha headband
A headband behind a big bush
That's what Naruto sees
And with a mighty push
Out comes Kakashi, eating some cheese
As well as reading his book
Which isn't for a child's eyes
Kakashi's book, Sakura took
And threw into the skies
"Oh well," Kakashi sighed
And turned to his students
His disappointment was bonafide
Around him, Cell 7 was prudent
"We have a new mission!"
Kakashi stated with glee
"Someone went fishin'
In the Hokage's pool, dear me!"
Away Cell 7 went
To capture this mysterious fisherman
In his head, Naruto got a dent
'Cause he didn't flush after using the can
They followed some tracks
All the way to a forest
They met a guy named Mack
And ran away, for his mind was messed
The tracks went on and on
But stopped before an oak
"My name is Don!"
Shouted a stranger, who could also croak
A fisherman was he
Look! He has a carp!
"In this forest I am free
To wield my mighty guppy, that is very sharp!"
Don was a ninja elite
On his headband was a mackerel
He bent over and sniffed his feet
Oh! He slipped and fell!
He landed gracefully
Just like a cat
He threw fish, 'cause he was a bully
On Sasuke's head, the fish went splat
Sasuke was mad
That he was
He started a fad
Past Don's head, his kunai buzzed
The others quickly followed suit
Throwing their own ninja knives
Kakashi smacked him with a boot
Then Don got some hives
Don was mad at the teacher
That much was true
Himself he featured
As he waved a fan of blue
"That is the last straw
Now you will end!"
Don gave a laugh deep from his maw
"For the ultimate jutsu, I will send!
It is purely mysterious
Your heart will go vroom!
Be ready for the fantastic, nefarious
Shinobi Dance of Doom!"
Kakashi stood by
His students gawked
As Don sang to the sky
And did the moonwalk
He stunned them more
When he hopped on his feet
He pulled out four
Big, red beets
He juggled them in the air
And sliced them by perfect fractions
But Don didn't really care
For they were just a distraction
He spun his legs
Around, and around
Don danced on a keg
And made a dodo bird call
He flailed his arms
In a weird, unusual rhythm
He sang of farms
And old cheese in overalls with them
Don donned a tutu
His twirling was quite graceful
He sang of a fish named MooMoo
Then Sasuke gave him a faceful
"I hate fish."
Sasuke simply stated
He handed Naruto a dish
Of cheese that was grated
Naruto ate his cheese
He was surprised- it wasn't poison!
Then they crossed the seas
And visited the Land of the Soy, then
They ignored the fact
That their mission was done
Sasuke lacked tact
When it came to having fun
But that's not the point
Of this narrative epic
Some guy hurt his elbow joint
When he tried to throw a toothpick
"Get me a cold pack!"
He yelled to the four
Then he proceeded to yak
To the old man next door