A/N: I take waaay too long to update. Apologies. ^.^ Some swearing in this
chapter. Just to warn you.
~~
Spike stared hard. He stared very, very hard at the inside of the fridge. On a neat white saucer was a small, hastily scribbled hand-written note that read 'This is my piece of cheesecake. It's very special to me. If you eat it, you're dead. --Spike'.
He slowly leaned forward until his nose was almost resting on the fridge shelf and carefully, with an outstretched finger, lifted up the saucer to see if his last, saved quarter of cheesecake was under it. Nothing. He let the saucer fall with a dull clunk sound. His special, wonderful, tasty, last saved bit of cheesecake was not there.
He looked at the poor, desolate, saucer, so lonely without his cheesecake, bare except for a few crumbs, and wondered if he was going to cry or go insane or scream or all three.
Spike straightened and his eyes narrowed. He curled his hands into fists. In a minute, there was going to be some ass-kicking.
The cowboy was usually indifferent to all forms of matter that originally came from the planet Earth. This had changed, recently, to insane children (Ed), animals, (Ein), and cheesecake. The first two he had a quiet dislike to, and the third he loved. He couldn't remember anything else, besides egg- rolls, that tasted so good. When remembering his Syndicate days, his one fond memory was one of slouching off down the Martian streets to a homely little bakery where they made good ol' New York-style cheesecake, just like back in the good ol' days. A sweet, pleasant memory that drove away the bitter after-taste of betrayal and guilt that soured his mouth whenever he usually recalled his past.
He'd told Jet this when they were having one of their many conversations about food, and hell if Jet...good, trustworthy, honourable, non-cheesecake snatcher that he was, had went out and bought him his own little cheeescake! New York-style! Of course, nothing in life is free and Spike had offered to pay him, but Jet had refused, saying with a grin, that for all the trouble he went through just to find someone who could make the damn thing, he'd be happy to see Spike eat it without complaining of stomach cramps. Spike reflected for a split-second on what a pal Jet was before turning his mind back to thoughts of his delicious cheesecake.
Good food, in his opinion, was usually meant to be wolfed up, but he'd gone against his instincts for once and took time to savour his treasure. A small piece a week, for a month. He'd had to beat Faye and Ed away from it every now and then, and then they had finally backed off, surprised at the vehemence in his eyes over the dominion of small dessert. Jet didn't touch it, of course.
Spike had been really, really been looking forward to have his Slice of the Week, for relaxation purposes after spending a fruitless hour searching for 'Rainbow Ed', whose purple footprints had suddenly vanished. It wasn't his job to chase after psychotic little girls.
Was a slice of cheesecake really too much to ask?
"IS IT?!" He screeched suddenly, giving the fridge a resounding kick that almost dented it. Spike yanked open the door again and whipped the saucer out. He sniffed it longingly, then stiffened.
There was nail polish. Just a small smudge of it on the underside of the rim. Left by someone who wanted to eat in a hurry and couldn't wait for her nail polish to dry
The plate in his grip quivered.
~~
Faye slouched on the couch, watching the bounty hunter show with a lazy eye. Not that there were any good bounties. There never were. She yawned, and stretched out, cat-like. Maybe she'd go and nag Jet about fixing the Redtail again...
A shadow abruptly blotted out her view of the ceiling and Faye squeaked. When she blinked, she saw a green cotton-ball of hair and relaxed. She smiled.
"What do you want?" she asked in a sultry tone, stretching out her legs. She failed to notice, or ignored, the saucer Spike held in his hand.
"You..." he whispered.
"Yeah, me. I don't look like Jet, do I? Or Ein?"
Spike's breath came out in a rush. "You ate my cheesecake."
"Your what?"
A bit of paper was shoved into her face. "Cut it out," she snapped, no longer amused. She tried to bat it away.
"Read it!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Faye delicately plucked it from her crewmate's fingers and gave it a languid once-over. "Cheesecake...cheesecake, cheesecake...where have I tasted that before?" She tapped her chin. Then belched. "Oh yeah."
Spike looked at her with a burning calm. "That was MY cheesecake," he said in terrible quiet voice. "It was a piece of my boyhood. MINE."
Faye squealed as he pinned her arms to her sides.
"AND YOU ATE IT!! FAYE!!"
"I was hungry!" she shouted back in her defense, kicking at him. "We've been floating around in the middle of space for a week! No bounties! No food! I was starving, dammit!!"
"We're all starving!" Spike shouted, bringing his face so their noses were almost touching, "BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO FILCH MY CHEESECAKE YOU FREE-LOADER!"
Faye gasped and slapped his face. "I am NOT a freeloader you ungrateful ass! And besides, it's everyone for herself on this ship, Spike Spiegel! Take it or leave it!"
Spike growled as he rubbed his cheek. "First off, you do not belong on this ship, you are a moocher who has overspent her rent time. You are a messed- up woman looking for trouble. You ate my last slice of cheesecake...probably the last slice in this fucking galaxy...you ate it, Faye, and I hate you!"
Ok, so that last shot sounded childish but Spike didn't care. Faye had ruined his life to the nth degree. She was on her feet now, purple hair sticking out and her face bright red. Her hands were on her hips.
"Oh get a LIFE, Spike! It was a measly bit of cake –"
"NEW YORK-STYLE CHEESECAKE!"
"Who gives a fuck!" she shouted, "I was hungry and I ate it! Stop behaving like such a child!!"
"Like you're the figure of motherly goodness?!" he screeched. "You have no respect for anyone on this ship but yourself! I've never seen anyone so selfish!"
"I learnt it all from you!"
They stared at each other, then whirled away and stomped back to their respective rooms.
"BITCH!" Spike shouted after her.
"ASS!"
"SHREW!"
"BABY!"
"CHEESECAKE STEALER!"
"IDIOT!"
"TRAMP!"
SLAM!
Ed cocked her head at Ein. "Faye-Faye and Spike-Spike are fighting again," she said sadly, tucking in her feet from where she was hiding in the air ventilation system. Ein yipped. The data-dog was covered in paint and it was matting his fur. He began to whine but Ed shushed him.
"Shhh, Ein! Someone's coming!" Peering through the slats, she could make out Jet's broad-shouldered figure striding down the corridor. Her dancing eyes narrowed.
"Ein," she whispered, "Someone is infiltrating the Rainbow Warrior's territory! An enemy! We can't let him pass, can we?" Ein whimpered. He couldn't care less. He was covered in paint!
"Get ready for defensive action!" Rainbow Ed announced to her troops, one miserable data-dog. "Ready, Lt. Ein?" She crouched.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
"What?!" Jet yelled, spinning around before he was attacked from above. Rainbow Ed descended on him and began pounding at his chest with her fists, growling savagely.
"DEATH TO ALL WHO DARE TRESSPASS AGAINST THE RAINBOW WARRIORS! GRRRRRR!!"
Jet just rolled his eyes and heaved a huge sigh, gingerly picking Ed off his shoulder with his cybernetic arm in case she tried to bite him. He inwardly groaned as he saw how many layer of paint she was covered in.
"Edward -"
"Rainbow Edward!"
"Edward," he repeated more sternly, and she wilted. "I've been searching the ship everywhere for you. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Rainbow Edward has decorated herself with the colours of her tribe and is a proud rainbow Warrior," the hacker announced, "Rainbow Edward is teaching Lt. Ein the Rainbow Dog how to attack enemy forces."
Jet looked down at her. "I don't think so. Rainbow Edward needs to stop living in Edward World and become Edward again by taking a bath." He scooped her up easily before she could dart away. "Where's Ein?"
A mournful yipping sounded above him. Jet reached up and took the trembling dog in his other hand. Shaking his head, he headed towards the bathroom, Ed giving half-hearted struggles against his grip.
"Unhand the Rainbow Warriors! Courage, Lt. Ein, we shall overcome!"
"First Spike and Faye, and now you two. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Give me liberty or give me death, Evil King!"
Jet rolled his eyes again. "Do you know why Spike and Faye are so mad at each other?"
"Cheesecake!" Ed shouted.
"Oh great, don't tell me Faye- "
"Faye-person ate Lunkhead's squishy cake of cheese. Lunkhead-Spike-Person started shouting and Faye slapped him and Spike-Spike got all upset. Over a cake of cheese."
"I bet."
"Rainbow Edward wishes the Evil King's fingers were not so cold," Ed whined plaintively as Jet closed the bathroom door.
He would have a tougher time trying to bathe the two then imaginable.
~~
^_^ Reviews please! OR I WILL STEAL YOUR CHEESECAKE.
~~
Spike stared hard. He stared very, very hard at the inside of the fridge. On a neat white saucer was a small, hastily scribbled hand-written note that read 'This is my piece of cheesecake. It's very special to me. If you eat it, you're dead. --Spike'.
He slowly leaned forward until his nose was almost resting on the fridge shelf and carefully, with an outstretched finger, lifted up the saucer to see if his last, saved quarter of cheesecake was under it. Nothing. He let the saucer fall with a dull clunk sound. His special, wonderful, tasty, last saved bit of cheesecake was not there.
He looked at the poor, desolate, saucer, so lonely without his cheesecake, bare except for a few crumbs, and wondered if he was going to cry or go insane or scream or all three.
Spike straightened and his eyes narrowed. He curled his hands into fists. In a minute, there was going to be some ass-kicking.
The cowboy was usually indifferent to all forms of matter that originally came from the planet Earth. This had changed, recently, to insane children (Ed), animals, (Ein), and cheesecake. The first two he had a quiet dislike to, and the third he loved. He couldn't remember anything else, besides egg- rolls, that tasted so good. When remembering his Syndicate days, his one fond memory was one of slouching off down the Martian streets to a homely little bakery where they made good ol' New York-style cheesecake, just like back in the good ol' days. A sweet, pleasant memory that drove away the bitter after-taste of betrayal and guilt that soured his mouth whenever he usually recalled his past.
He'd told Jet this when they were having one of their many conversations about food, and hell if Jet...good, trustworthy, honourable, non-cheesecake snatcher that he was, had went out and bought him his own little cheeescake! New York-style! Of course, nothing in life is free and Spike had offered to pay him, but Jet had refused, saying with a grin, that for all the trouble he went through just to find someone who could make the damn thing, he'd be happy to see Spike eat it without complaining of stomach cramps. Spike reflected for a split-second on what a pal Jet was before turning his mind back to thoughts of his delicious cheesecake.
Good food, in his opinion, was usually meant to be wolfed up, but he'd gone against his instincts for once and took time to savour his treasure. A small piece a week, for a month. He'd had to beat Faye and Ed away from it every now and then, and then they had finally backed off, surprised at the vehemence in his eyes over the dominion of small dessert. Jet didn't touch it, of course.
Spike had been really, really been looking forward to have his Slice of the Week, for relaxation purposes after spending a fruitless hour searching for 'Rainbow Ed', whose purple footprints had suddenly vanished. It wasn't his job to chase after psychotic little girls.
Was a slice of cheesecake really too much to ask?
"IS IT?!" He screeched suddenly, giving the fridge a resounding kick that almost dented it. Spike yanked open the door again and whipped the saucer out. He sniffed it longingly, then stiffened.
There was nail polish. Just a small smudge of it on the underside of the rim. Left by someone who wanted to eat in a hurry and couldn't wait for her nail polish to dry
The plate in his grip quivered.
~~
Faye slouched on the couch, watching the bounty hunter show with a lazy eye. Not that there were any good bounties. There never were. She yawned, and stretched out, cat-like. Maybe she'd go and nag Jet about fixing the Redtail again...
A shadow abruptly blotted out her view of the ceiling and Faye squeaked. When she blinked, she saw a green cotton-ball of hair and relaxed. She smiled.
"What do you want?" she asked in a sultry tone, stretching out her legs. She failed to notice, or ignored, the saucer Spike held in his hand.
"You..." he whispered.
"Yeah, me. I don't look like Jet, do I? Or Ein?"
Spike's breath came out in a rush. "You ate my cheesecake."
"Your what?"
A bit of paper was shoved into her face. "Cut it out," she snapped, no longer amused. She tried to bat it away.
"Read it!"
"Yeah, yeah..." Faye delicately plucked it from her crewmate's fingers and gave it a languid once-over. "Cheesecake...cheesecake, cheesecake...where have I tasted that before?" She tapped her chin. Then belched. "Oh yeah."
Spike looked at her with a burning calm. "That was MY cheesecake," he said in terrible quiet voice. "It was a piece of my boyhood. MINE."
Faye squealed as he pinned her arms to her sides.
"AND YOU ATE IT!! FAYE!!"
"I was hungry!" she shouted back in her defense, kicking at him. "We've been floating around in the middle of space for a week! No bounties! No food! I was starving, dammit!!"
"We're all starving!" Spike shouted, bringing his face so their noses were almost touching, "BUT THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO FILCH MY CHEESECAKE YOU FREE-LOADER!"
Faye gasped and slapped his face. "I am NOT a freeloader you ungrateful ass! And besides, it's everyone for herself on this ship, Spike Spiegel! Take it or leave it!"
Spike growled as he rubbed his cheek. "First off, you do not belong on this ship, you are a moocher who has overspent her rent time. You are a messed- up woman looking for trouble. You ate my last slice of cheesecake...probably the last slice in this fucking galaxy...you ate it, Faye, and I hate you!"
Ok, so that last shot sounded childish but Spike didn't care. Faye had ruined his life to the nth degree. She was on her feet now, purple hair sticking out and her face bright red. Her hands were on her hips.
"Oh get a LIFE, Spike! It was a measly bit of cake –"
"NEW YORK-STYLE CHEESECAKE!"
"Who gives a fuck!" she shouted, "I was hungry and I ate it! Stop behaving like such a child!!"
"Like you're the figure of motherly goodness?!" he screeched. "You have no respect for anyone on this ship but yourself! I've never seen anyone so selfish!"
"I learnt it all from you!"
They stared at each other, then whirled away and stomped back to their respective rooms.
"BITCH!" Spike shouted after her.
"ASS!"
"SHREW!"
"BABY!"
"CHEESECAKE STEALER!"
"IDIOT!"
"TRAMP!"
SLAM!
Ed cocked her head at Ein. "Faye-Faye and Spike-Spike are fighting again," she said sadly, tucking in her feet from where she was hiding in the air ventilation system. Ein yipped. The data-dog was covered in paint and it was matting his fur. He began to whine but Ed shushed him.
"Shhh, Ein! Someone's coming!" Peering through the slats, she could make out Jet's broad-shouldered figure striding down the corridor. Her dancing eyes narrowed.
"Ein," she whispered, "Someone is infiltrating the Rainbow Warrior's territory! An enemy! We can't let him pass, can we?" Ein whimpered. He couldn't care less. He was covered in paint!
"Get ready for defensive action!" Rainbow Ed announced to her troops, one miserable data-dog. "Ready, Lt. Ein?" She crouched.
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
"What?!" Jet yelled, spinning around before he was attacked from above. Rainbow Ed descended on him and began pounding at his chest with her fists, growling savagely.
"DEATH TO ALL WHO DARE TRESSPASS AGAINST THE RAINBOW WARRIORS! GRRRRRR!!"
Jet just rolled his eyes and heaved a huge sigh, gingerly picking Ed off his shoulder with his cybernetic arm in case she tried to bite him. He inwardly groaned as he saw how many layer of paint she was covered in.
"Edward -"
"Rainbow Edward!"
"Edward," he repeated more sternly, and she wilted. "I've been searching the ship everywhere for you. What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Rainbow Edward has decorated herself with the colours of her tribe and is a proud rainbow Warrior," the hacker announced, "Rainbow Edward is teaching Lt. Ein the Rainbow Dog how to attack enemy forces."
Jet looked down at her. "I don't think so. Rainbow Edward needs to stop living in Edward World and become Edward again by taking a bath." He scooped her up easily before she could dart away. "Where's Ein?"
A mournful yipping sounded above him. Jet reached up and took the trembling dog in his other hand. Shaking his head, he headed towards the bathroom, Ed giving half-hearted struggles against his grip.
"Unhand the Rainbow Warriors! Courage, Lt. Ein, we shall overcome!"
"First Spike and Faye, and now you two. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Give me liberty or give me death, Evil King!"
Jet rolled his eyes again. "Do you know why Spike and Faye are so mad at each other?"
"Cheesecake!" Ed shouted.
"Oh great, don't tell me Faye- "
"Faye-person ate Lunkhead's squishy cake of cheese. Lunkhead-Spike-Person started shouting and Faye slapped him and Spike-Spike got all upset. Over a cake of cheese."
"I bet."
"Rainbow Edward wishes the Evil King's fingers were not so cold," Ed whined plaintively as Jet closed the bathroom door.
He would have a tougher time trying to bathe the two then imaginable.
~~
^_^ Reviews please! OR I WILL STEAL YOUR CHEESECAKE.